Tuesday, May 13, 2025
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If at Thirst you don’t succeed, reapply

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The licences for two popular Oxford venues have come under scrutiny this week by both the council and the public.

Thirst Lodge has sparked fresh controversy over its reapplication for a Sexual Entertainment Licence, following nationwide legislative changes to licensing policy. The Oxford Council website states that the licence would allow “Exotic/erotic dancing, Lap/Pole and table dancing, Semi and/or full nudity dancing.” A hearing will be held in March.

The Lodge has repeatedly provoked community outrage since January 2009, when the bar first applied for a licence, only to withdraw in the face of local outcry. A second application was approved in December 2009.

Members of St Ebbe’s Church in Pennyfarthing Place, where The Lodge is also situated, have encouraged students to object to the renewal of the licence.

One attendee of the church said, “The new Oxford City Council regulations state that venues offering sexual entertainment should not generally be sited near historic buildings or tourist attractions, schools, play areas, nurseries, children’s centres or similar premises, shopping complexes, residential areas or places of worship.

“Clearly The Lodge contravenes this in a number of respects, and in adopting these new regulations, Oxford City Council were responding to guidance issued by the Home Office, which states that, ‘these provisions…. will give local people a greater say over the regulation of lap dancing clubs and similar venues in their area’.”

Katharine Terrell, OUSU’s Vice President for Women, also objected to the licence, voicing concerns about the welfare of the women working at The Lodge. “Women who work in the sexual entertainment industry are at a high risk of sexual assault and rape, often effectively earn below minimum wage, and are usually unable to unionise,” she told Cherwell.

“The trafficking of women (many underage) into sex work in the UK remains widespread, yet most establishments do not ensure their workers are not trafficked or coerced and it is difficult for the punters to tell whether women have been trafficked or coerced. My concern is that visitors to sexual entertainment venues do not appreciate all these issues and simply see it as a good night out with no consequences.”

However, some see no harm in The Lodge continuing to offer such entertainment. One third year Chemist, who wishes to remain anonymous, said “Thirst Lodge spiced up Oxford no end. I’ll be gutted if the girls go.”

Julian Alison, a licensing officer for Oxford County Council, told Cherwell that “considering The Lodge has been operating as an adult entertainment venue for almost a year, without any increase in crime or violent incidents in the area, the result of the hearing in March could really go either way”.

Meanwhile, The Bridge may have its Premises Licence reviewed. Oxford Council state on their website that “Thames Valley Police are seeking a review based on the grounds the operators are not upholding their obligations under the four objectives of the Licensing Act most notably the prevention of crime and disorder.

“Thames Valley Police now believe that the most appropriate recourse moving forward is to refer the premises on again to the Licensing committee.”

The application for review comes in the wake of a spate of violence outside some of the city’s most popular night-time haunts. In October, four men were arrested after a brawl outside The Bridge, which saw two people being taken to hospital, one with serious head injuries. The event occurred on the same night as a stabbing outside Baby Love bar.

Cashmore to retire early

The Principal of Brasenose College, Professor Roger Cashmore, whose use of expenses was recently questioned, is to retire at the end of this academic year.

Cashmore was the subject of national media attention when, in May this year, a report leaked to Cherwell suggested he and his wife had misused college travel expenses.

The report raised “serious doubts” as to whether a trip to Pakistan in November 2005 was made on College business, even though it was “funded mainly by the college”.

The report also noted “the high cost of the ticket” for the Principal’s journey to the North American Reunion in April 2004.

It stated that despite the fact that “no authorisation seems to have been given” for a trip to North America in 2007 and a “Visit to Greece” in 2008, the Principal flew business class and costs were met by the college in both cases.

Following this, a source claimed in October, that the Governing Body of Brasenose had passed a motion of no confidence against him.

The 66-year-old has been on research leave since October, with Professor Alan Bowman acting as Principal.

According to a statement issued by the college, the experimental physicist plans to concentrate on his research projects which include work on the Large Hadron Collider and a recent appointment as Chairman of the UK Atomic Energy Authority.

Cashmore, a Cambridge and Balliol alumnus, has been Principal of Brasenose since 2002 and oversaw celebrations to mark the College’s quincentenary last year, including a visit by the Queen.

Laptop thefts continue

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Students at Green Templeton College were shocked this week after a man burgled their accommodation in broad daylight.
The unidentified man gained access to Observer’s House block on Tuesday 11th January around lunchtime and wandered around for 20 minutes before gaining access to a residential building.

He entered through an unlocked exterior door and stole two laptops, an SLR camera and some jewellery.

One of the students was eating lunch in the kitchen when his laptop was taken from his unlocked room on the top floor, the other was away in London.

Graduate Common Room President Aaron Krolikowski said that students who were around at the time have managed to identify the man on college CCTV footage.

Krolikowski also emphasised that “the Police have been very helpful, forensic teams have taken fingerprints and a burglary expert team has also visited the College”.

He added that “the Graduate Common Room have been working closely with the College administration since the incident to indentify weak points in security.

“We have considered putting new locks on some of the doors, including electronic ones to tighten things up as much as we can”.

This news comes after thefts at two other colleges last term. In October, a man broke in to Balliol and left with nearly £6000 worth of personal belongings. A student at Brasenose had his laptop taken after he left it unattended in the College library.

Other colleges have warned their students about the risk of theft, with St Anne’s bursar advising students as they return after the vacation not to “prop open doors when unloading as this permits access to residential buildings”.

Thames Valley Police advises students to shut and lock all doors and windows at night and when they go out.

Varsity: From Crash to Lash

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The final day of this year’s Varsity ski trip saw dozens of students strip naked in the snow and perform “outrageous” tasks as they competed to win a free holiday.

The Valley Rally competition, sponsored by luxury holiday company Scott Dunn, offered a free 5-star skiing holiday worth £2,000 in Saint Anton, Austria, for the winning team.

Teams took part in challenges such as smashing an egg “in the most creative manner possible,” eating buckets of snow and posing for “adventurous” photographs.
The winning team, all from St Anne’s College, placed an egg between the buttocks of one team member while another smashed it with a wine bottle. At the end of the challenge the team ate the egg.

They also posed for erotic pictures on the slopes whilst naked, covered in pasta sauce and hot chocolate, in front of a crowd of 500 people.

Despite attracting criticism from some for their behaviour, the team said they were glad to have won the competition.

One team member said, “I think I may have got hypothermia but it was definitely worth it.”

Another member of the winning team, said, “I sold my dignity for a free holiday.”

The top three teams in the competition were all from Oxford, and the runners up drank each other’s urine. Students were also seen to strip naked to pose for photographs in snow drifts and to simulate sex acts on one another.

One Varsity rep described how he believed he had witnessed students “losing their souls” while competing.

Another rep, from tour company Off the Piste, said that she had been surprised at the willingness of participants to take their clothes off, especially given the freezing conditions and the presence of photographers.

A video of the Valley Rally has since been posted on YouTube, where one girl can be seen with her top off.

In another round, where the task was to eat as much snow as possible from a bucket in one minute, a group of Cambridge students requested to be allowed to urinate in the snow before consuming it, “for extra points.”

A member of the group told Cherwell, “It was disappointing to make such an effort early on and then not to win. It makes it feel like it was all a bit pointless.”

A large number of students originally signed up for the Valley Rally, but a high proportion dropped out when the nature of the competition became clear.

The event had been marketed to students on the Varsity 2010 website with the tagline, “Make sure you don’t miss out on this great afternoon on the slopes.”

According to a spokeswoman for Scott Dunn, the company choose to sponsor the Valley Rally as they saw Oxbridge students as a “great audience for a high end operator like themselves.”

When contacted by Cherwell, Scott Dunn seemed unaware of the nature of the competition, and said they had believed that were sponsoring a “fun ski race.”

The week-long trip to Val Thorens, in the French Alps, was also marked by another incident, when one of the coaches travelling from Oxford on the last day of term was involved in a serious collision on the M25.

44 students, mostly from New College and Oriel, were on board the coach when it crashed head-on into a lorry at approximately 2 o’clock in the morning. Treacherous weather conditions had forced the lorry to skid into the opposite lane.

Almost all passengers on the coach suffered cuts and bruising, and several were taken to hospital for further treatment. The driver of the coach suffered a broken leg and a broken wrist.

The collision occurred at Clacket Lane, near Croydon. Having been evacuated from the coach, the students were marshalled into a service station, where they spent three hours giving statements to the police and being assessed by ambulance crews.

The service station’s hotel provided students with rooms, and in the morning they were transferred to a new coach to continue their journey.

A number of students expressed their thanks to the coach driver, whose quick braking prevented the accident from being potentially far worse.

Travelling to France proved difficult for all the skiers, as coaches and planes left amidst MET Office warnings of extreme weather conditions and “widespread icy roads.”

‘First-lift’ customers, who had paid extra to fly out to France early, were frustrated to be told that they would not be able to board their flights and would instead have to travel by coach.

Language expert honoured

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An Oxford University professor has become the second living British expert of the arts to be elected to Portugal’s national academy.

Professor Tom Earle has been made a foreign member of the Academia das Ciências de Lisboa – Classe de Letras, the equivalent of the UK’s British Academy and Royal Society combined.

He has lectured at Oxford for more than 40 years specialising in Portuguese Renaissance literature.

Professor Earle said, “This accolade is a great honour. As a foreigner I have been received into a body that recognises outstanding achievements by scholars of Portugal in the sciences and arts.”

He added, “I have been able to spend a very long time studying this esoteric subject. It has been a lifetime well spent.”

Fulbright fraud pleads guilty

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A fraudulent applicant for study at Oxford has pleaded guilty to twenty counts of larceny, identity fraud, falsifying an endorsement or approval and pretending to hold a degree. Adam Wheeler, 23, was sentenced to two and a half years in jail, suspended for ten years.

Wheeler fabricated his SAT scores and forged documents that enabled him to attain a place at Harvard. He won several prizes by dint of a CV in which he claimed that he had written two books, co-authored another four, and lectured in Armenian studies.

He was eventually exposed when an English professor on the adjudicating panel for the prestigious Fulbright and Rhodes scholarships noticed similarities between the applicant’s submission and the work of a colleague, and subsequently instigated an investigation into Wheeler’s academic record.

University buys space centre

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A consortium including Oxford University has bought the majority of Goonhilly Satellite Earth Station in Cornwall. Oxford will work with defence technology firm QinetiQ and the UK Space Agency to turn the former telecommunications hub into a world class space centre.

Steve Rawlings, Professor of Astrophysics at Oxford and academic head of the 1.5 billion Euro Swuare Kilometre Array Radio Astronomy Project (SKA), said, “The opportunity to include Goonhilly in a number of leading radio astronomy projects and related research and development work is truly exciting.


He said that the University is “thrilled by the possibilities of having its students and staff down in Cornwall where the new outreach centre will attract many young new scientists who will be rubbing shoulders with top flight engineers and physicists from around the world.”

OFS to be homeless shelter

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Oxford City Council, in conjunction with the national homeless charity Crisis, has begun work to convert a former fire station in central Oxford into a new centre for the homeless.

The £3.5 million Crisis Skylight centre will include a gallery, an auditorium and a dance studio designed for community groups and the homeless, as well as a café open to the public.

The centre will offer creative workshops in drama and the arts, as well as classes in practical skills such as literacy, numeracy, carpentry and IT. The focal point of the arts-related activities will be a new arts company, Arts at the Old Fire Station.

The Gloucester Green site was first established as the headquarters of a volunteer fire brigade in 1870, and functioned as Oxford’s main fire station from 1896 to 1971. It has since served as a theatre and an arts centre, and is currently in use by the nightclub Live Nation Club.

Gina Ford, a first year student of Archaeology and Anthropology at Keble, has volunteered for Crisis’ London branch and looks forward to getting involved at Oxford.

“Seeing people on the streets as I’m walking to lecture or coming home from a night out really brings home the problem,” she said.
“A Crisis centre is certainly a better use of the building than a nightclub.”

The project has received funding from the government’s Places of Change Programme, which aims to reduce the number of people dependent on the hostel system for shelter.

A representative for Oxford Hub told Cherwell, “Oxford has the highest number of rough sleepers in the country outside of London and there is a clear need for a comprehensive approach to tackling this issue.

“We look forward to seeing how we can work with the centre to provide new opportunities to volunteer with Oxford’s homeless.”

Local contracting company Kingerlee was appointed to the project after the original contractor, ROK, went into administration in November. Kingerlee, which is set to begin work on redevelopment of the building in January, is the same firm that built the original building more than a hundred years ago.

Kingerlee has done work with many of Oxford’s colleges, most recently a lecture theatre for Queens College and the Kendrew quadrangle at St. John’s College.

Councillor Bob Price, leader of Oxford City Council, said, ” The difficulties caused by ROK going into administration will mean that the project will be completed a couple of months later than hoped but we have been able to secure a new contractor very swiftly.”

The building work is set to be completed by autumn this year.

The new Ebacc – an unwise change of tack?

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This week annual school league tables were published ranking schools according to how many of their pupils received 5 A*-C measures at GCSE. As you’ve no doubt read, this year the tables included another column showing what percentage of pupils had obtained the new English Baccalaureate: A*-C in English, Maths, a science, a humanities subject and a foreign language. The introduction of this new measure has been marked by the haste that has marred so many of Michael Gove’s doings this past year. One can understand his hurry – it seems motivated by a genuine desire to improve our dire education system as fast as possible – but as someone concerned with education he should really be more wary of that old lesson: ‘more haste, less speed’. With each botched directive he gets ever further away from the only real hope that is government and teachers working together.

The aim of the Ebacc is to give “recognition” to pupils who study the selected “rigorous” courses. It stems from a viable concern: as league tables have placed huge pressures on schools to drive up their results, this has led to more students taking subjects where they were more likely to gain above a ‘D’, but which in the long run would not be as highly recognised as more traditional counterparts. Certainly in terms of improving social mobility, there should be nothing to deter students from taking subjects that are more likely to lead them to university. Yet the solution to this warping pressure should be to scrap league tables, not add another pressure that further complicates the process of students trying to choose subjects for themselves.

Some in favour of the measure argue that more traditional subjects offer a ‘better education’, but most people who remember school know that a good education depends on teachers, not subjects. The Ebacc sets the academic/vocational divide back a couple of centuries, as there has been no real effort to emphasise that this is a resorative measure, not one that aims to create a hierarchy of subjects about which is ‘best’. The ‘soft’ subjects that are being pushed to the sidelines contain elements that are just as potentially useful, engaging and interesting as GCSE biology. One can see that Gove is trying to create a program that imparts to children a foundation of knowledge and ways of thinking, but that Philosophy GCSE is left out is a telling sign that this is not so much about rigorous core disciplines as about exam structures. History, Geography and foreign languages are likely still deemed ‘rigorous’ because they are studied mainly in top schools, and have been least hit by exam boards efforts to make their tests more teachable.

Given the somewhat arbitrary collection of subjects that qualify, and the fact that no IGCSE exams do, the EBacc in this form cannot be a meaningful qualification for individuals, and thus cannot be a significant national measure. Even its name seems ill thought out. It has been mocked by commentators pointing out that the baccalaureates in Europe are prized qualifications received at the end of school, or even university, while the I.B. is widely held as being more comprehensive and more rigorous than A levels, let alone a handful of GCSEs. That we need a more developed sense of what a minimum education should be is certainly true, but calling this a baccalaureate is the very definition of dumbing down and renders the whole thing yet more meaningless.

Gove is trying to create a brilliant education out of our current mainstream qualifications, but he must soon realize that crap cannot a cake make. If he wants to set an aspiration that all children get some semblance of a broad education which allows them to begin their world and how they can make meaning in it, he needs to revolutionise our current qualifications, or at the very least, free teachers from the tyranny of league tables so that they can throw away the assessment objectives and have a go at making learning interesting on their own terms.

Interview: Christopher Hitchens

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I was halfway through climbing into a taxi, due to take myself and Christopher Hitchens from Oxford to Heathrow, when the man himself stopped me mid-clamber with an urgent, ‘Hang on.’ I turned to see the 61-year-old journalist and polemicist standing in the middle of the pavement on the High Street, casually lighting a cigarette. At the time, this was something of a surprise to see, as although he is almost as famous for his legendarily unending appetite for tobacco and alcohol as he is for his fierce eloquence in his essays and debates, I was sure I’d read somewhere that he had finally kicked the lifelong habit. With this in mind, I decided to confront him, announcing in my most accusatory voice, ‘I thought you’d quit.’ Disappointingly, he appeared utterly unfazed at having been caught in the act. Instead, he merely took a long and evidently soothing drag of nicotine, before replying in that unmistakably mellifluous and well-spoken voice, ‘I have.’ He smiled before letting the smoke curl slowly from his lips.

Just days after this exchange, Hitchens made the following, uncharacteristically brief announcement in Vanity Fair, where he has been a Contributing Editor since 1992: ‘I have been advised by my physician that I must undergo a course of chemotherapy on my esophagus. This advice seems persuasive to me. I regret having had to cancel so many engagements at such short notice.’ Many critics were quick to point out that the disease seemed to have been self-inflicted, though Hitchens was first to acknolwedge this: ‘I have been taunting the Reaper into taking a free scythe in my direction and have now succumbed to something so predictable and banal that it bores even me. Rage would be beside the point for the same reason.’

In the intervening months, the treatment he has undertaken has left him bald, more reflective and noticeably thinner. With this in mind, and considering the severity of his type of cancer, one would be forgiven for expecting the huge number of public appearances and regular essays that he has maintained over the years to slow down somewhat. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Since his diagnosis, Hitchens has been difficult to avoid; he continues his written columns, has been the subject of numerous interviews, and even debated with Tony Blair over religion. Perhaps such energy and activity is equally predictable in its way. Given the fact that he has described chemotherapy as leaving him feeling ‘swamped with passivity and impotence: dissolving in powerlessness like a sugar lump in water’, it is at the very least an understandable response.

It was his public debate with Blair in late November last year that showed just how much Hitchens has exploded into the public eye. Mention his name only a year ago, and more often than not, you’d get a slack-jawed shrug of non-recognition; now, following that debate (Blair’s first since leaving Downing Street) and an extended Newsnight interview with Paxman, everyone seems to be aware of him. And a good thing it is too. When discussing what he knows about, it is difficult to overstate the depth of knowledge Hitchens displays and the convincingness of his arguments, while his style, both when speaking and writing, is one of unfailing eloquence. His vocabulary is astonishingly diverse and, it seems, inexhaustible, yet is often followed by a healthy measure of abrupt, unfiltered scorn, all the more effective for its bluntness. His targets are also impressively diverse, from condemning Ronald Reagan as ‘a cruel and stupid lizard’, to describing Mother Teresa as a ‘thieving Albanian dwarf’. As Richard Dawkins has advised, ‘If you are… invited to debate with Christopher Hitchens, decline.’

More significantly, his long career as a journalist has always had the pleasing aura of integrity surrounding it. Though his popularity with his comrades on the Left waned dramatically following his fervent and continuing support of the invasion of Iraq, it is difficult to fault his commitment to any cause. His support of the deposition of Saddam had its roots in his first-hand experiences in Iraq and Kuwait, while he has visited all three countries in the so-called ‘Axis of Evil’ – Iraq, Iran and North Korea – in order to ensure his opinions on world politics are as well informed as possible. When I brought this up, one could detect a certain note of pride in his voice as he nodded in agreement: ‘Well, I’m the only one to have done that. I’m the only writer, at any rate, to go to North Korea, Iran and Iraq. I’m sure I’d know if there was another one. And I don’t think there would be a diplomat who would have had all three postings because they’re not very congruent. Probably some arms dealer or terrorist has managed to do all three.’

In 2007, the publication of his best-selling anti-religion book, god Is Not Great (a very deliberately punctuated title) gave his profile a significant boost. I asked him about this increase in fame, and he shifted in his seat uncomfortably in response. After glancing out of the window at the departing Oxfordshire countryside, he turned to meet my gaze. ‘Perhaps it seems as if I’m on [TV] more than I am… The reason I don’t do it very much is that it does become a problem, and I’ve known people to whom it’s happened. That’s what you are, a talking head, paid to have opinions, and therefore you’ll have them on whatever they ask you about. You become a TV personality.’ He then paused for a swig of bottled water (9am is perhaps too early for whiskey, even for Hitchens), before admitting, ‘I’ve actually been offered a show, but I know I don’t want to do one… You can end up feigning not just to know, but to care. So gradually you do become a complete phoney with pretended outrage.’

This impulse to resist knee-jerk reactions and uninformed opinions can be seen in his noticeable reticence about high-profile issues such as climate change and US healthcare. I asked him about this tendency to hold back on such issues, and he agreed that he is always repulsed by uninformed opinion. ‘I’m not very knowledgeable about health insurance. So where I don’t consider myself to be very well informed, or perhaps have something very interesting to say, I don’t speak. I’ve actually said on the air sometimes, ‘Well actually, I don’t really know about that,’ or, ‘I don’t have an opinion.’ It always completely exasperates them: ‘So why do we invite you on then?’ ‘Well, I know most of your guests would rather die than say this, but where you’re not sure what you’re talking about, you’re well advised to shut the fuck up.’

It’s clear from this how protective he is of the English language, and has little time for its waste or misuse. He also reserves similar disdain for the state of the arts and the media today, and proudly divulged that he rarely watches television: ‘It has to be a real crisis if I’m prepared to turn it on. It’s way down the other end of the house. I might not even have one if it wasn’t for DVDs.’ Films are avoided in a similar manner, as Hitchens lamented how they’re no longer made for people like him. ‘I’m the wrong demographic, as they say. I’m the wrong age, for one thing. Most films are made to formulae for people much younger than me. And then I think most films depend for their sense of humour upon things that I don’t find particularly funny. And most films are vehicles for individual stars. And most of them don’t care at all about suspension of disbelief, so they’ll irritate you quite early on by making a character do something suicidally implausible. At which point it spoils the thing, and I think, ‘Well, no, he wouldn’t have done that, don’t be stupid.’ It’s just a shortcut to make it work. I can’t remember the last time I went to the cinema without feeling insulted or annoyed.’ Believing this rather unexpected rant to be over, I cautiously began another question before being immediately interrupted by a loud exclamation: ‘Avatar! I couldn’t believe it…’ For once, he seemed lost for words. ‘Sometimes I don’t get things at all, and I think, ‘Well, maybe I’m becoming a curmudgeon.’ It’s… the Barry Manilow effect – when you see Barry Manilow and you think, ‘There are people who want to hear this, and they want more of it.’ Clearly there’s something I’ve missed.’

Indeed, it is a plausible suggestion that Christopher Hitchens might be gradually losing his relevance. His most recent articles include two levelled against Henry Kissinger (an old foe), and one on how to make the perfect cup of tea. Not exactly cutting edge stuff. Certainly, many interviewers (including Paxman) have treated him in an almost condescendingly friendly way, as if it would be unreasonable to expect the once formidable intellectual spark from a cancer sufferer now eligible for a bus pass. However, this attitude of lenience is both grossly unfair and utterly patronising towards a man whose mind is still vibrantly engaged, even if his body is rapidly failing him.

As the taxi pulled up at Heathrow and we strolled towards the entrance, I recalled reading that Nick Clegg had once been an intern for Hitchens when he worked at The Nation. With the Coalition Government at this point still young, I was keen to find out his opinions about the man, but the disappointing response was merely, ‘I don’t remember him very well.’ He paused to light up another cigarette before heading for his flight, and as he did so, remarked in an off-hand manner, ‘I remember better Eddy Miliband, who was also there. I took more notice of him.’ At this point, the Labour leadership contest had barely begun, but Hitchens seemed certain that the younger Miliband was destined for great things. I disagreed, confident that David would be the triumphant brother. I had little notion that, just a few months later, Hitchen’s instincts would prove correct once again. It is clear that, though it is most likely self-inflicted, his deadly ailment is cutting down an intellect still furiously alive and in its prime. The world and the English language will be far duller in his absence.