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Dons clash over Shakespeare film

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A new film which suggests that the Earl of Oxford, Edward de Vere, was the real author of some of Shakespeare’s plays has divided the opinion of Oxford dons. Anonymous, directed by Roland Emmerich and starring Rhys Ifans and Vanessa Redgrave, focuses on the Oxfordian theory that the 17th Earl of Oxford wrote the plays and poems usually attributed to Shakespeare.

The making of the film is a cause for concern for those who worry that audiences may begin to believe this controversial claim. Professor Katherine Duncan-Jones of Somerville College said, “I do think there is a risk that the film Anonymous may be seriously misleading…any film that is based on the premise that the works known to Elizabethan and Jacobean contemporaries as Shakespeare’s were in truth written by someone quite different is absurd.’

Generally, the theory that Shakespeare’s plays were written by the Earl of Oxford are disputed by academics, who point to the use of Warwickshire dialect in Shakespeare’s plays, and to the fact that Shakespeare’s competitors, such as Ben Jonson, never challenged his authorship.

Dr Colin Burrow, Senior Research Fellow at All Souls College, said that “all of these reasons [for believing such a claim] are bad. They include social snobbery (a glover’s son? A genius?), and the conviction that a conspiracy must surround every interesting cultural phenomenon.”

However, not all Oxford English dons feel that the film will have a negative effect on the public’s perception of Shakespeare. Dr Emma Smith, fellow and tutor in English at Hertford College and author of The Cambridge Introduction to Shakespeare, said, “I do not feel particularly bothered by the film it if it makes people interested in the period or the qualities that make Shakespeare special…the worst thing that could happen is people don’t believe Shakespeare wrote Shakespeare. That would be wrong, but it will not take away from the plays.”.

Professor Duncan-Smith disagreed with Dr Smith, saying, “my view is that it will [take away from the plays]…in so far as it foregrounds the ‘authorship’ question as supposedly of more interest than the plays (and poems) themselves.”

Ben Williams, a second-year English student at Hertford, agreed with Dr Smith, saying, “I think any film which increases the popularity of Shakespeare and the period in general is a positive thing. If people do take more of an interest in Shakespeare after seeing the film, then they will quickly encounter the myriad of opinions which challenge the Oxfordian theory and won’t be able to believe that whatthey have seen in the film is factual.”

However, some tutors are unwilling even to give it this chance: Dr Burrow, looking forward to the film’s release, commented: “Wow. It sounds, like, unmissable. But somehow I think I will be giving it a miss.”

Cherwell Music presents Mixer: August 2011

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So, a month left until you’re plunged back (or, for Freshers, take a tentative first paddle) into the Oxford deep end. Here’s a reading list soundtrack of sixteen of the best tracks that August 2011 had to offer, featuring everything from ballads to synthpop to Ghostface Killah. Turn up the volume and enjoy just don’t let it distract you too much from A Very Short Introduction to [Your Degree].

S.C.U.M – Amber Hands

Although they formed without a guitarist, S.C.U.M have layered swooning six-strings all over this shoegaze sunburst, which comes across part-Ride and part-Stooges. It’s the first single from their album ‘Again Into Eyes’ (released 12th September).

M83 – Midnight City

This stadium-sized new wave anthem is a reminder of M83’s infectious pop sense and, as always, Anthony Gonzalez’s enduring sense of grandeur. His sixth studio album, due in October, is aptly titled Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. 

Eleanor Friedberger – My Mistakes

This month’s solo debut album from Eleanor Friedberger, Last Summer, represented a surprising return to form for the artist. Opener ‘My Mistakes’ recalls Friedberger’s finest work with The Fiery Furnaces but with a refreshingly streamlined focus to balance her delightfully off-kilter delivery.

Talons – Rowboat

Taken from Mike Tolans’ Song For Boats, a collection of miniatures for guitar and voice which finally saw vinyl release this month, the gentle drift of ‘Rowboat’ is as sleepy and understated as it is utterly arresting.

Active Child – Hanging On

When amateur producer Pat Grossi (alias: Active Child) left the confines of bedroom pop, this August’s You Are All I See was the result. ‘Hanging On’ is surely its pièce de résistance: its pained, drowning catharsis is built through aching vocals and oceanic atmospherics.  

Stephen Malkmus & The Jicks – Tigers

Pavement’s much-trumpeted reunion last year obscured the solid material still being released by its ex-members, notably frontman Stephen Malkmus. Luckily, the Beck-produced album Mirror Traffic is exciting even those too young for fuzzy nineties nostalgia.  

Blood Orange – Sutphin Boulevard

Essex-based Dev Hynes has worn many hats (member of dance-punk trio Test Icicles, indie writer/producer for Solange Knowles et al., solo folk artist as Lightspeed Champion). His latest project is the stylish minimalism of Blood Orange, best exemplified by this atmospheric and sultry single.

Warm Brains – Worried Seed

Slicing guitars meet hypnotic chanting in the latest single by Hynes’ former Test Icicles bandmate Rory Attwell, which shows off his credentials as a highly-regarded producer as well as a top-notch guitarist.

The War On Drugs – Baby Missiles

‘Baby Missiles’ sounds like early Springsteen under a layer of Slowdive-era shoegaze. The unique sound of this Philadelphia quartet is a welcome antidote to the fairly uninspired output of ‘nu-gaze’ and dream pop in recent years. 

DOOMSTARKS – Victory Laps

Underground legend MF DOOM is never one to rush a release, and his collaboration with Wu-Tang veteran Ghostface Killah (under the joint name of DOOMSTARKS) has been pending since the first half of last decade. But recent single ‘Victory Laps’ is proof of progress, and the combined swagger it brings to the table is certainly tantalizing.  

Princeton – To The Alps

Despite their name, Princeton hail from Los Angeles, and their particular brand of sunny indie pop is a dead giveaway. Featuring some of the tightest instrumentation to be found in the Californian scene, ‘To the Alps’ is a textbook summer jam. 

Charlotte Gainsbourg – Memoir

In a particularly well-chosen collaboration with Conor O’Brien of Villagers (who wrote the song and lyrics), Gainsbourg’s recent single ‘Memoir’ is an impeccable guitar-led ballad of alluring warmth.

Cant – Answer

Chris Taylor just can’t go wrong. The Grizzly Bear bassist has produced for the Dirty Projects, Department of Eagles, and Twin Shadow to great acclaim, and his first full-length Dreams Come True – its approach exemplified by the trademark breathy vocals and intoxicating dance groove of ‘Answer’ – is already looking promising. 

The National – Exile Vilify

As far as muses go, a video game – Portal 2, to be precise – isn’t the first that comes to mind. But it was inspiration enough for ‘Exile Vilify’, a beautiful and breathtaking composition by The National, whose wholly unique style strengthens with each release.

The Drums – Money

In this ditty, whose bars could be a soundtrack for much of the hemisphere-wide ‘downturn’, The Drums sum it up: “I want to buy you something, but I don’t have any money.” But a little austerity shouldn’t get in the way of a killer hook, right?

Bon Iver – Holocene

June this year saw the second album from Justin Vernon’s folk project and this new single (along with its gorgeous video) is a highlight, with stripped-bare melodies and plaintive vocals bolstered by slide guitar and whispering percussion.

Mixer: August 2011 is also available on Spotify – click here to load the playlist.

Fresher = Survivor

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There are freshers who adapt well to university life… and there are those who can’t cook. Brave young men and women, Cherwell salutes your ignorance. There is, of course, still time to learn, but who wants to remember anything constructive from fresher’s week? So in the spirit of reckless libertinism, prepare to be helped by Cherwell as we give you five days of culinary freedom, a hole in your pocket and enough eaterie ideas to last until Hilary. And not a pot noodle in sight.

 

Monday 

With Oxford’s fresher’s week starting whenever your particular college says it can, dependent on certain (fun-sponge or no) members of the SCR, Cherwell plumps for a nice round Monday. You arrive around midday, when that morning’s full English starts to look like a distant home-cooked memory. With the parents still in town, do the right thing and set a precedent of fleecing them for good food when they visit. Quod is your first port of call; central, pricey but not decadent, well-known, the only downside coming when the open brasserie-style layout allows everyone to see that sweet sorrow of parting which your mother has indulged in with Shakespearean gusto.

Finally let loose, the afternoon’s meeting and greeting drains your social stamina. Time for a pick-me-up before those first night antics. Nothing major – the sandwich shops are just closing, so you head off to Mortons for cut-price baguettes. Hell, it’s your first day, you’re feeling confident; tell the bewildered shop assistant you’re husting for JCR president and get a whole bag of them for free. She’ll be so busy trying to work out what ‘husting’ means that she’s bound to give them to you. If you’re feeling slightly braver, try Taylors deli; when it comes to bagging up, you might even get one of those swish little blue numbers.

You swan back from a club or film night, or take a break from small talk in your kitchen (well it has to get used for something) only to be mercilessly pressurized into sampling the delights of the college’s chosen kebab outlet. One year on, you will mercilessly pressurize incoming freshers with a by now firm sense of allegiance to Hassan’s, Hussain’s, Branos, The Organic Burger Van or that cheap pizza thing down by Christchurch.

 

Tuesday

Ancient Chinese proverb: he who kebabs shall refuse breakfast. Nevertheless, after the apocalyptic boredom of any and all library tours – save for that little bit in the Bodleian where the lady says “and this is actually where they filmed the hospital wing scenes in Harry Potter”, cue an astonishing fifty-student simultaneous reality-snap – it is time for an early lunch. The pub calls. Feeling something central, The King’s Arms or The Turf Tavern are your big names, while The Eagle and Child offers Inkling visions of Tolkien and Lewis; down in surburbia, The Jericho Tavern might get you thinking about the Oxford live music scene. All offer decent, upmarket pub-food either side of a tenner.

 Another evening, another complete lack of health conscience. For the British take-away think Posh Fish in Jericho, and rumours also abound of Carfax Fish and Chips on the high street, although chancing the maze of back-alleys to find it, and whether it’s open if you do, is another matter. Then there is the eternal Noodle Nation on Gloucester Green which has yet to be surpassed for offering enjoyable, if not spectacular, chinese food for a fiver – possibly the best way to toast your new student card. Eat in, or get their rapid take-away for a quick-fix. The Mission’s mexican burritos offer a similar experience with a portable bonus; fighting your way through the layers of pure carbs is a perfect pre-training warm-up for the sportsman on a schedule. For a more idiosyncratic affair, Atomic Burger in Cowley blends outrageous comic book chic with inventive burger options.

 

Wednesday

Having somehow forgotten about college hall until now, you take tentative steps to breakfast. You recognise a few faces – ah, the success of integration. Cue elaborate stories from all and sundry about foam parties, gap years, sports trials, workloads, homesickness, blah blah freshers blah. End up on the wrong table, cue elaborate stories from reluctant finalists about “touring hard”, internships, 21st parties, theses, blah blah finalists blah. Somewhere in between you might spot some second-years, probably having two breakfasts just to start the year off how they mean to continue.

Now if your college does not offer such a discerning breakfast club, you take a walk to Combibos, Gloucester Green’s other recognised establishment, and get the Eggs Royale in. Wednesday means market day, too, so take a stroll through afterwards, pick up your fruit cheaper than the supermarkets, and enjoy taking something edible back to the kitchen, safe in the knowledge that it doesn’t require heating. Anyone not convinced by the Combibos cult, check out Café Bleroni on Walton Street, offering a choice of gourmet breakfasts for a fiver. For those needing a bigger shot of luxury, The Grand Café does a breakfast almost as indulgent as their cocktails.

Somehow you manage to miss lunch, probably distracted by the chaos of fresher’s fair. Sackful of propaganda in hand, get home and sift out the dross. Extempore craving for a capella? Bin it. Someone flattered your good physique for rowing? Bin it. You were promised your first piece of stash by the poetry society? Bin it. Having spent some valuable time finding out your true personality, prepare to degrade it with a crew date.

There is only ever really one option. In fact, it’s not even an option. Embrace Jamals. This den of iniquity has been allowing students to run amok long enough to know they needn’t serve real food. A seemingly innocuous jar of pennies on the front desk belies the hedonism. Top tip – the set menu is a monstrosity. Other notable dens include At Thai, and the now sadly defunct sausagerie The Big Bang; pity, freshers, not to know the pleasure of “going the whole hog”. Most of these are BYOB for a small additional fee; no different is Café Nour, who have been tactically great in planting themselves next to the Cowley Road’s Tesco, and by serving Egyptian for cheap.

 

Thursday

Probably having found your departmental building by now, you suss out the food close to hand. For English, Law and Sociology students, The Alternative Tuck Shop must seem the last outpost of culinary activity, unless that is, they risk swapping their sandwich for sushi at Edamame, Oxford’s best-kept oriental secret – be prepared to study the labyrinthine opening hours carefully. On the other side of town, the Engineers are tempted by The Old Parsonage flashing its Cotswolds charm just across the road, and any History freshers, after overcoming the sheer vanity of having two separate faculty locations, are spoilt for choice by the non-library half sitting plum on George Street, restaurant-central. Jamie’s Italian is a popular choice here, with no pre-bookings leading to regular queues outside, but it has been upstaged recently by the sheer cheekiness of Fire and Stone’s £4 Thursdays – probably the best value pizza in Oxford, and a whole host of wacky “world” flavours to choose from. Answers on a postcard for the nearest department to Cowley, but let’s say you’re pining after second year already – Café Coco near Magdalen roundabout offers a pizza and a cocktail for £10 in the evening, the best way to shake off a day’s working from home.

For all single freshers, what better way to woo that boy/girl you met in Camera than with a romantic bike-ride through Port Meadow. Your destination? Either The Perch or The Trout, two gastropubs on the route which have excellent reputations. That sorted, you feel keen to introduce a little student ethos into paradise by jumping through various states of undress into the river – well, it’s better than cow-tipping.

 

Friday

G and D’s for breakfast, simply because you feel you should at some point. This may well be the G and D’s core marketing strategy – popular duress. It is definitely not to early in the day for ice-cream, and so invariably you pick one flavoured after the latest student drama production, which then makes you want to go and see it, doesn’t it?

Walking past The Randolph, wondering when the parents are next down and exactly how they much have been missing their favourite child, you remember that LawSoc run a termly afternoon tea there. All it takes is the joining fee pittance and one successful ballot and you will be finger-sandwiching it with the best of them. Hurrah. Obviously though, for top food for top dollar, there really is only one place to look. Heading out of the city for the wonderfully-named village of Great Milton, Raymond Blanc’s Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons offers double-Michelin-starred cuisine. It doesn’t get better than this, folks.

For a more affordable evening’s sustenance, you head over to a fellow fresher’s kitchen for a big group meal – Oxford loves dinner parties, on both sides of the apron. Firmly in the attending rather than hosting category, you pay a couple of pounds to the fund, and have nothing more to do for your supper than setting the cutlery. Result.

Feeling peckish late at night, you sneak into the kitchen and indulge in a pot n… No! You go straight to bed and sleep off your heathenism.

 

Saturday

You will discover how to cook pasta. It’s quite tricky, so you will practise every day for the next three years of your life. Thank god for Formal Hall.

Oxford scientists discover remarkable star

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A supernova has been discovered In the Pinwheel Galaxy (M101) by a team involving Oxford researchers. Found on 24 August, it is the nearest type 1A supernova found since 1972. For a short time it will be bright enough to be seen through a pair of binoculars or small telescope.

The supernova was discovered by an automated robotic search. Certain galaxies are scanned by a powerful telescope each night, and the current appearance of each galaxy is compared to a previously recorded image of that galaxy. Any differences are detected, and then investigated further.

Robert Massey of the Royal Astronomical Society explained the significance of Type IA supernovas, telling Cherwell that these phenomena are formed when “you get a binary system where one star dumps mass onto a dense stellar companion white dwarf star. And when that’s very overloaded with material you get a dramatic explosion… that completely destroys the white dwarf”. This explosion happens when the white dwarf star reaches a certain mass. As a result all type 1A supernovas explode with the same brightness.

This allows researchers to discover how far away galaxies are, and has meant type 1A supernovas have played a vital role in astrophysics. In particular they have helped to estimate the rate at which the universe is expanding, and the amount of “dark energy” in the universe.

Massey explained why the discovery is beneficial to further research, saying, “It’s good to see one that’s close because then you can understand more about the characteristics of this type. By looking at the way the light rises, brightens and fades, you get an insight into the processes.”

For a short time, amateur astronomers should be able to view it, although Massey warns “it’s likely to be quite difficult”, and that “there has been a certain amount of sensationalism about how bright it is”.

A Fresher’s Guide to Sport at Oxford

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Sport is a big deal at Oxford. Students compete from the smallest college football team on a lonely Oxford field to the mighty Blues rowers, broadcast live from the Thames on the BBC. Hundreds of college players brave the wind and rain throughout the year, proving that Oxford is not solely a place of academia.

1.       Fitness – Joining a college or Blues team is the perfect tonic to the weeklong binge that is Freshers’ week. A jog round the Uni Parks is a healthy way to combat – or at least justify – one too many of Oxford’s finest kebabs.

2.       Escapism – Oxford can be a place of intense pressure. If you are locked in battle with a logic problem, or high off the fumes of ancient tomes in the Rad Cam, a run-out for any college team can provide a welcome break. Take out your algebra rage with a knee high lunge against an innocent opponent.

3.       Glory – That last minute equaliser you scored for Teddy Hall III’s against John’s IV may not make the back pages of national newspapers, but amongst your exhausted team you are a superman. Celebrate at Park End accordingly and recall tales of your heroism to anyone that will listen.

4.       Cuppers – College sport may not have the prestige playing for the Blues, but try telling that to the winners of any inter-collegiate Cuppers competition. Bragging rights across the university are at stake here, and the Football Cuppers championship is the oldest football tournament in the world. Take that World Cup.

5.       Stash – You will never look as cool as the first time you strut down Cornmarket in your Hockey 3rd team Canterbury trackies. You will never look as suave as when you shark on a girl sporting your elegant blues Lacrosse tie. College rowers are particularly guilty of overuse of stash. Splash jackets seem to be suitable attire for all social situations, not just on the river. 

6.       Rowing – A sport that divides opinion in Oxford. For some it is an Oxford institution – as witnessed by the huge crowds present at ‘bumps’ racing. Rowing seems to have an addictive quality and 500m splits, crabs and “the stride” become almost an obsession for some. A polite mention of the ‘R’ word has ruined many a dinnertime conversation for the non-rower. The cynics perceive rowing as symbolic of early mornings, sweaty lycra and overly intense masculinity. Homoerotica or tradition? You decide, but be sure to at least give it a go.

7.        Socials – Wednesday nights at Park End are awash with the slurred speech of sporting crewdates. A “crewdate” is when your “crew” – say Somerville Rugby, goes out with a team of the opposite sex, normally to one of Oxford’s many BYOB curry houses. Getting into a sports team is thus one of the best ways to speak to that girl you’ve always fancied from lectures who you know plays for her college netball team. Just avoid college rowers. One infamous spot fine was directed at “anyone with a 2K erg time less than eight minutes”. Park End did not know what had hit it.  

8.       Pulling power – Try telling anyone that being a Blues rugby player does not have sex appeal (if you’re a man). Being a female gymnast Blue seems equally effective.. Table tennis (as seen on Shark Tales) may have marginally less success.

9.       Blues – The business end of Oxford Sport. Excel in your discipline and you will represent the university and travel across the country to take on other university sides. A great way to meet people from other colleges. The goal of any Blues player is to play in the Varsity match, in which Oxford take on Cambridge. These games attract 1000s of fans, and represent the pinnacle of any Oxford Sporting career.

10.   Cherwell Sport – Or do they? Cherwell Sport works throughout the term, covering a variety of sports that range from college relegation dogfights to the Varsity fixtures. We look to debate and discuss topical sporting issues in both Oxford and the world, as well as providing relevant interviews. We are always looking for new contributors. If you’re interested about getting involved in any capacity then email [email protected]. It could be you writing this next year.

Review: Betrayal

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‘We hope you enjoy tonight’s performance of ‘Betrayal’’ was, I hope, an amusing syntactical introduction to what was a thoroughly watchable piece of theatre. The play depicts an affair between Emma (Kristin Scott Thomas) and Jerry (Douglas Henshall), and the betrayed, we assume, is Emma’s husband Robert (Ben Miles). Jerry and Robert are old friends from university and partners in a publishing house, and Robert has known about the affair for five years. The events of their lives are revealed to us slowly, not by going forward in time, but rather backwards until we see the roots of the affair.

I cannot comment on the acting as it was flawless, each character thoroughly developed by all actors. The anti-clockwise nature of the play provided buckets of irony, and with the isolation of the players it appeared that we as an audience had been invited to watch a breakdown voyeuristically, as if it were some bizarre, middle-class reality television programme. In terms of staging, the set was simple and scene changes flowed seamlessly. The year of each incident was shone on a transparent gauze which seemed to add an extra layer to the fourth-wall, isolating the characters from the audience even further. 

It was only afterwards that I realised that Emma’s character subtly rejuvenated as the play went on, and little details like that defined Ian Rickson’s thorough interpretation. There was a lot of booze on stage, making me think of the ‘Withnail and I’ drinking game and, although it might have added an element of farce to the performance, perhaps I would like to have seen a more accurate result of consuming two bottles of wine over lunch. 

The play lasted only an hour and a half, but I would say that there was nothing that could be added or taken away from the premise – each scene by Harold Pinter is perfectly crafted and carefully balanced. Perhaps if a lesser person had written it, what we would be watching might have simply been another episode of another soap opera, but instead we are given a clever insight into love and deception.

9/10    

Review: What is love anyway?

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Richard Herring has always been audacious. At this year’s fringe festival he even cheekily used his blog to call himself ‘the King of Edinburgh’ and encourage his followers –now presumably courtiers – to do likewise. That’s a dangerous act in a city full of jealous comedians who may hear the headline without seeing the original tongue-in-cheek post.

Herring’s 2011 show ‘What is love anyway?’ starts a little more conservatively by comparison. Whilst his bold assertion that he is out to destroy love appears provocative, the comedic style he employs will be reliably familiar to any fans: the cunning use of gradations of logic carefully built up to arrive at seemingly horrendous and controversial conclusions, a kind of reductio ad absurdum. In this fashion he attempts to convince us that mothers are in fact whores for loving their offspring and that it is more noble to love another’s child…but not in that way. So far, so Herring.

The show really gathers pace when Herring begins to deal with his own love life, particularly a pair of routines about the perils of dating a woman whom he had previously graphically fantasised about on 90s TV show Fist of Fun, and a Valentine’s Day gift gone wrong. The latter, a perfect showcase for Herring’s style and ample talent, involves a central conceit about geometric progressions that he draws out skilfully. It’s hilarious, and tackles the etiquette of gifts to one’s love with a surprising tenderness along with some faux-vitriol.

It’s this tenderness that elevates the evening’s conclusion, and it is here that Herring demonstrates true audacity. As he talks about his 99 year-old grandmother, an Alzheimer’s sufferer, the laughs ebb away. Essentially a living eulogy for a woman who is dying ‘the slow death’, it is incredibly moving and tear-inducing. And here lies the courage of the man. As it approaches five minutes since the last laughter, there is a real nervousness in the room, a doubt as to whether the comedy can be regained. Or, worse, that any attempt might feel tasteless after such a heartfelt performance. The fear is entirely unwarranted, with the eventual punch line proving masterful and winning deserved applause. It’s an overused word, but that moment is one of pure catharsis. Life’s inherent tragedy is laid bare for the audience but Herring uses great presence and skill in convincing us to laugh boldly at it all. It’s exhilarating and a demonstration of the potency of comedy.

It doesn’t matter that this show doesn’t have quite as many belly laughs as his previous outing ‘Christ on a Bike’. With ‘What is love anyway?’, Richard Herring ultimately eschews the cynicism of its opening section and instead weaves a powerful, life-affirming salute to love. Now that’s bravery.

5 stars / 10/10

Notting Hill Carnival

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Oxford schools top the league tables

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Oxfordshire hosts a large proportion of the highest achieving schools in the country, recent GCSE and A-level results have revealed. Oxford High School GDST achieved the best A-level results for a girls’ school with all pupils attaining five good passes and almost 93% of entries being awarded the top two grades.  Magdalen College School also headed league tables as the top independent school in the country both for A levels and GCSEs. At A level, 70 out of 90 candidates acheived all As or A*s and at GCSE level  99.5% of all grades achieved were A or A* with 35% of their entrants receiving 10 or more A*s in total.

Some schools in Oxford can attribute their success directly to the influence of, and close ties to, the University of Oxford. Dr Tim Hands, Master of Magdalen College School, told Cherwell, “MCS has a unique foundation in that William Waynflete wanted to create a university school, a college and a school as a unique integrated whole, enabling each to gain from the others.”

In their Lower Sixth year at Magdalen College School, pupils research and write a dissertation on a topic of their choice under guidance from academics outside the school, many of them members of the University. Dr Hands claims, “Our latest A-Level results bear witness to the fruits of this project.”

Oxford’s state secondary schools also attained better GCSE results than the national average. For example, at Cherwell School 28% of entries achieved an A or A* and the Matthew Arnold School gained 31% A or A* grades compared to the national average of only 23%.

At Oxford Spires Academy, which recently replaced the Oxford Community School to serve some of Oxford’s poorer areas including Blackbird Leys, 100% of pupils gained at least one GCSE and 63% achieved at least five at grades A* to C. The Headmistress, Susan Croft, commented, “Students and staff have worked hard to achieve these results and I am pleased with the outcome – these results are well deserved by all.  We are set on an upwards trajectory of success.”

The only Oxford school whose results haven’t been announced is the three-year-old Oxford Academy which has asked for dozens of papers to be remarked after the headmaster, Mike Reading, said he was “disappointed”.

The South-East as a whole was, as usual, the highest achieving area. Brian Lightman, general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders has tried to explain this pattern, saying, “The highest paid jobs are in London and the South East. Many high-flying and ambitious people who have a tradition of education in their families will relocate here.” This is clearly especially true in Oxford with its high proportion of professors and their families living and going to school in the area. The same is true in Cambridge although the other place seems not to have done quite as well in last week’s GCSE results with its highest achieving school, The Perse School, gaining 11% fewer A and A* grades than Magdalen College School.

The mess at the heart of higher education

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Every year sees the ritual repeat itself. Thousands of teenagers receive their A level results in August, with the obligatory photos of young, attractive (and probably posh) girls leaping in the air at what are undoubtedly a clutch of A and A* grades. Meanwhile, the curmudgeons all line up to complain about how it was much easier in their day, and how all young people are brainless hoodies who don’t deserve anything. It is undoubtedly true that more pupils are getting As than ever before. What is also true is that ever rising grades are symptomatic of the rat race that the further and higher education system has become.

The Government has told universities that, from next year, they must cut by 8% the number of places available to students achieving less than two As and a B, whilst being able to offer an unlimited places to those achieving AAB or better. The thinktank The Higher Education Institute has argued that this will damage social mobility because a disproportionate number of students achieving AAB or better come from private schools. What makes this even less fair is that studies have shown that a student from a state school achieving BBB in their A levels gets on average an equivalent final university grade to someone from a private or grammar school background gaining AAB. This pressure from government removes the capacity of universities to take into account things like educational background and solidifies the distortions in A level results that exist between the state and private sector as equally talented state school students find places available to them cut.

A similar alarming trend is the fact that private schools, despite educating only 6.5% of children in the country, get 30% of the A* grades awarded at A level. Since an A* grade is fast becoming a ticket to elite university entrance (Cambridge, UCL, Imperial, but thankfully not Oxford) it seems that the educational apartheid that exists in the secondary school system is to be further replicated in our universities.

At the other end of the scale, the absence of real alternatives to a university degree as a means of social advancement is disadvantaging those who are not academically suited to a degree course, but would benefit more from vocational work. For years students were fed the message that you needed a degree to get on in life, and my (comprehensive) school frequently cited the average graduate lifetime earnings premium to us (an average which hides how graduates from certain universities and courses earned far more than others, and which is likely to be collapsing as more and more students go to university). Barely any provision was made for those who didn’t want to go to university in terms of career advice. Apprenticeships are massively oversubscribed, BT has 100 applicants for every place and Network Rail had 8000 applicants for a mere 200 places. That many of the apprenticeship schemes are little more than excuses for bosses to hire cheap labour doesn’t help matters, and probably goes towards explaining the 65% retention rate for apprenticeships as a whole. Surrounded by an unemployment rate of nearly a million for those aged 16-24 (i.e. 20% of the total), it’s unsurprising that opportunities for young people remain bleak. The logical response for them appears to be to go to university and hope that something comes their way later. Hence this year we had 673,570 applicants competing for 479,000 university places, and 185,000 students who didn’t make their offers fighting for 29,000 places through clearing. Successive governments have failed to offer real opportunities to young people.

What then, is the solution? Firstly, the government must properly fund apprenticeship schemes, ban employers from paying apprentices less than the minimum wage, and create a legal obligation for employers to provide apprentices with meaningful work and a pathway to full time employment. It must send a signal that the implicit hierarchy which places university graduates as necessarily superior to non-graduates is a false one, and simply results in graduates doing jobs which do not require a degree, as well as devaluing those whose talents are primarily practical and vocational rather than academic. Those who are academically able ought to be encouraged, and the government must stop idolising elite universities as the be all and end all of education. Plans to cut places for those getting less than AAB should be scrapped. Universities need to acknowledge that A level grades are not necessarily entirely accurate reflections of talent, and that state school pupils with lower grades can equal or even outperform their privately educated peers at university. The current system is essentially one of winner takes all, with all the perks for the attendees of elite universities and schools, while everyone else fights over fewer places, fewer resources and fewer opportunities.