Cherwell is recruiting for Hilary term 2011, to apply go to cherwell.org/recruitment
Wish you were here XI
Amidst all the talk of the Australians England are facing, here is a side of those who didn’t even make the 17-man squad.
1) Mark Cosgrove
A big left-handed biffer, ‘old school’ in fitness and South Australian to boot: there is rather a lot of Darren Lehman in Cosgrove. His talent, which earned him three ODIs four years ago at the age of 22, is beyond question, as is his hunger for runs – just ask Glamorgan fans – but Cosgrove’s physique just doesn’t fit the template of a modern cricketer.
2) Phil Jaques
Fearless and superb at scything the ball through the offside, Jaques was likened to Adam Gilchrist by Steve Waugh. When given his Test opportunity in 2007/08, Jaques proved he had his technique was good enough, but was injured at the most inopportune of moments; despite averaging 47 in Tests and making 108 in his last innings, he now lacks even one of the 25 Australian contracts. As he scored two hundreds in three days in tour matches during England’s last visit, England may be slightly relieved.
3) Brad Hodge
There are strong suggestions in Australia that Ricky Ponting does not get on with Hodge: conspiracy theories are needed to explain how someone averaging 56 in Tests, including scoring 203* against South Africa, could have been limited to six. Having retired from first-class cricket last year, Hodge’s one-day form has been jaw-dropping, with seven hundreds in his last 16 games and an average of 86 over these, yet he hasn’t played an ODI for three years.
4) David Hussey
Many are saying one Hussey in the Aussie Test side is one too many – but it might be one too few. David is the Stuart Law of his generation – except Law at least got one Test cap. He averages an extraordinary 55 at first-class level, while plundering his runs at a strike-rate of 71, but perceived weaknesses to the short ball have counted against him.
5) Cameron White (captain)
Apparently you need to be more than cocky, blonde and Victorian to be a successful leg-spinner. White played all four Tests in India in 2008, whilst batting at number eight – but if another Test appearance comes, it will be in the middle-order, where his propensity for six-hitting in the limited over’s formats is so impressive.
6) Andrew MacDonald
A wicket-to-wicket bowler who puts the military in military medium, MacDonald is not the most glamorous cricketer Australia has ever produced. But his nagging style proved effective in four Tests against South Africa in 2009, whilst his batting is adaptable and increasingly effective, as three state centuries at 93 this season so far attest to. He made his Test debut at six, and is a much better player now; the perception that he lacks sufficient talent may just need revisiting.
7) Luke Ronchi (wicket-keeper)
New-Zealand born, Ronchi’s audacity with the bat resembles the best of Brendan McCullum. That much was shown as he blitzed 64 off 28 balls in his second ODI innings, against West Indies in 2008. A collapse in form followed, but an average of 47 in state cricket last season suggested he could rival Tim Paine to succeed Brad Haddin.
8) Jason Krezja
Krezja is the owner of probably the most extraordinary Test debut figures in the history of the game: 12 for 358. On debut in India two years ago, he bled runs but always turned the ball enough to threaten the perennial tormentors of spin bowling. Still raw, Krezja needed confidence instilled in him, but was instead dispensed with after one poor Test. Self-belief shattered, a place in the Tasmanian side now often eludes him. His career is a textbook study of how not to handle a spinner.
9) Brett Lee
With his arch competitiveness and generous sporting spirit, this Ashes series would cherish Lee – and how he would cherish it. Reoccurring injuries have forced his first-class retirement but he could well terrorise England in the ODIs after the Tests, just as he did last year in England.
10) Shaun Tait
After the 100mph slingers, hostility and stump-shattering accuracy in the ODIs in England this year, there was much talk Tait would end his premature first-class retirement, with Ponting encouraging him to showcase his reverse-swinging skills in Tests. The rumours were ended by the realisation his body wouldn’t be up to it. As with Lee, English fears over the ODI devastation he could cause will be outweighed by relief he won’t be appearing in the Tests.
11) Darren Pattinson
Pattinson could conceivably have been appearing for either side this winter, having lived in Australia from the age of six before playing a Test for England in 2008; and his brother will play for Australia within a few years. Made a scapegoat for England’s defeat, Pattinson has enjoyed a brilliant few months, including a championship for Notts and 8/35 in a game for Victoria. England should be getting advice from him on bowling to Australia’s batsmen in their conditions.
Chuckling Spires: A guide to Oxford Comedy
When I first came to Oxford, my first thought was that I’d forgotten all my socks. Around my 6th thought was concerning where I was supposed to go for comedy. You see, where I’m from in Wales, live comedy is a big part of life. Admittedly this was partly due to the fact that I need cheering up because I’m welsh, and somewhere indoors to go, where it wasn’t constantly raining, but that’s all by the by. So when I was asked to investigate Oxford comedy for an article, I hit the streets immediately. After bandaging my hand from that terrible pun, I googled where to see shows, got some tickets and went along to a few gigs. Voila:
The New Theatre, http://www.newtheatreoxford.org.uk
This is where you’ll find your big names; your Dylan Morans and Jason Manfords and whathaveyou. I went along to see Mark Watson’s show and found that the Theatre’s a great space with a lovely atmosphere, and wonderfully overpriced confectionaries. One complaint I would have is that there’s an orchestra pit around 8 feet deep between the comedian and audience, limiting the possible interaction between the two. Mark Watson could only really involve the front two rows of the audience which was a shame. If you love participating, it might be worth attending a smaller venue.
Coming up at the New Theatre: Jason Manford, Dylan Moran, John Cleese, Ed Byrne, Milton Jones, Lenny Henry, Stephen K Amos, The Chuckle Brothers
The Regal, www.the-regal.com
The Regal is a bit out of the way up Cowley road (unless you live there-bully for you!), and is surprisingly large on the inside. Whilst you will get some reasonably big names here, there’s a very different ambience, more of a lads and lasses night out with less of a spread across the age range. Still, if you’re in the right mood it’s worth a trip. Word of warning: the compéres may be of varying quality.
Coming up at the Regal: Russell Kane, MC Ray Peacock, Henning Wehn, Pete Firman
The Glee Club, http://www.glee.co.uk/oxford
With perhaps a more friendly air is the Glee club, where you’ll find a mix of up-and-comers trying to make a name for themselves and big names trying out their new material on a small audience. A little out of the way for some people (on Hythe Bridge Street), but with great line-ups and jugs of beer available, you can’t go wrong.
Coming up at the Glee Club: Greg Davies, Terry Alderton, Tommy Tiernan, Brendan Burns, Rich Hall, Sarah Millican, Russell Kane, Issy Suttie, Micky Flanigan, Alun Cochrane, Al Pitcher, Rob Deering
The Cellar, http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2394594879
The Cellar describes itself as ‘a bastion of Quality in a sea of Mediocrity’, and with weekly stand-up , comedy and free beer it’s tempting to agree. Every Monday they offer this at their free beer show-unfortunately you might have to wait until next term to experience this as Monday 8th week appears to have been substituted with a metal night.
Coming up at The Cellar: Zoe Lyons
The Wheatsheaf, http://www.myspace.com/wheatsheaf_music
This is the place to find improvisational comedians ‘The Oxford Imps’ every Monday night, and while the comedy may be a little hit-and-miss it is pretty good value for money. I would advise getting there early though, as seating is limited and their show is very popular, and less enjoyable if you can’t see the performers over the heads of other patrons. Other student comedy like the Oxford Revue can be found here, albeit less regularly.
Coming up at the Wheatsheaf: Josie Long, The Oxford Imps, The Oxford Revue
One-off events
You’ll need to keep your eyes peeled for these, but they do come around. An example is the UNICEF comedy event ‘Stand up for Children’, on the 30th November at the Keble O’Reilly theatre with a great line-up.
Coming to the UNICEF event: The Oxford Imps, The Oxford Revue, Rory O’Keefe, A Little Darker, Chris Turner, Alex Clissold-Jones, Tom Skelton, Kat James and Phill Brown. (http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=158551630853744&ref=mf)
So there you have my basic guide-I’m sure there are plenty that I’ve missed out, and some of the student groups may take a little effort to track down but that’s all part of the experience. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m searching the internet at 3am with an essay due in the next day.
Happy ha-ha-ing.
Drama queen only seventeen
Anya Reiss, shuffling papers and fiddling with her hair onstage, doesn’t seem to match up with herself on paper. At 17, she became the youngest playwright to have her play accepted at the Royal Court Theatre, where it was staged this summer to great critical acclaim. Spur of the Moment focuses on 12-year-old Delilah whose parents are too busy screaming at each other to notice their daughter kissing the 21-year-old lodger. The play received nearly unconditional praise from some of the country’s top papers for its candid look at family life and social taboos.
As soon as Reiss starts to deliver the Corpus Christi College Drama Society lecture, all her awkwardness disappears. She’s very comfortable talking about the play, lucidly describing the experience of letting go of the script, realising the auditioning process wouldn’t be like X-Factor. She draws us her listeners with behind-the-scenes anecdotes that have everyone chuckling.
The play began on one of the Royal Court’s young writers’ programmes, and Reiss wrote it while studying for her A-levels. She thinks this helped, as she didn’t feel any pressure to ‘get it right’ or hampered by any solid conception of ‘what a playwright was’. Now the first play is over, and critics are waiting to see what the ‘new voice of a generation’ will do next; is she feeling the pressure of being a one-hit wonder?
‘I do, but I don’t and I can’t let it affect what I do’. Throughout, Reiss places emphasis on the importance of freedom to what she does; ‘there’s a big danger to overcomplicate writing too much; it is just basically knowing what people say next’. Later, when I ask if seeing her first play go through the rehearsal process informed the way she wrote her second, she says: ‘I try not to imagine it onstage so much because I think you start limiting yourself.’ In Spur of the Moment the action moves between rooms all over the house, perhaps contributing to the criticism that the play is too much like TV.
One audience member has already confronted Reiss with a jibe about television, saying ‘it’s just a story – it could’ve been a soap opera…where is the real insight?’, to which she responds with unruffled calmness, getting the audience to laugh with her: ‘I do genuinely go to the theatre for a story… I think it’s just different ways of writing…there are TV programmes, plays that really say something and try to change the world and there’re others that just observe it… I think it’s not wrong to just observe it.’
Later I give her another opportunity to respond to critics: ‘the most frustrating part of the whole process was critics putting negative things down to my age,’ she says, ‘when they said it was TV writing or it became farcical at the end or other things they decided that it was a mistake I had made from being young and inexperienced, when actually rightly or wrongly they were choices I had made.’ With characteristic self-assurance, she states: ‘I’d rather be credited with making bad choices than seem like I didn’t know what I had done.’
Reiss is currently on her gap year, although with TV programmes like Skins and Hollyoaks already under her belt and her second script currently in the hands of the Royal Court, it looks like the gap could be a long one. Though I’m not sure Reiss’ voice is the one of our generation, it is distinctive and self-assured, capable of drama, comedy and biting observation; it will be interesting to see what comes next.
Phaedra’s Love
Drama Cuppers: Declan Clowry looks back at Wadham’s Cuppers play entry, ‘Phaedra’s Love’, and interviews Director Michael Brooks
Online Preview: The Shape of Things
A week and a half before showtime, and The Shape of Things is already as slick as a high-class made-for-TV drama. It’s going to be fantastic. That’s all there is to it, really.
The play opens with the art student Evelyn, husky, self-possessed, delicately ironic Evelyn, stepping over a line with a can of spraypaint. Adam, the nervous young security guard, asks her to step back on the right side of the line. She doesn’t. He’s stymied. The conversation has the awkward weirdness of symbolism at this point, and you worry for a moment that you’ve been plunged in medias res into one of Caryl Churchill’s nightmares, but things soon settle into the easy-flowing, dynamic, soap-opera tone that comes to characterise this production.
Evelyn soon twists Adam round her little finger. Before he knows quite what’s happening, she’s sprayed an enormous penis on the priceless statue he was guarding, her phone number on his jacket, and her face all over his dreams. She takes him over, moulding his body, burning his clothes, reshaping his nose, warping his friendship with Phil and Jenny, the play’s only other characters. Twist. Yank. Snip. Then comes the brutal denouement, which transforms all this gentle romantic comedy into stark philosophy.
Sophie King’ Evelyn is the lynchpin of this play, and she pulls off the part with unforgiving intensity. It would have been very easy to play Evelyn with the kind of indie insecurity peddled by Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, but King keeps up a nasty, domineering edge throughout an excellent performance. Meanwhile Joe Murphy brings the same gawky charisma to The Shape of Things that he brought to Equus, reminding you forcibly of Scott Pilgrim landed with Ramona Flowers. Their relationship is credible and compelling, helped along by painstaking attention to little details – the motions of their hands, and the minutiae of their expressions.
Cassie Barraclough, making her directorial debut at Oxford, has stripped this drama down to the point where it is hard to fault. Such flaws as it has – the lack of depth in Rob Jones’ Phil, for example, or the slightly forced rhetoric of the debates about the nature and morality of art – lie more with Neil LaBute’s script than with the cast. This is compelling drama, short on sticky rom-com sentimentality and long on menace and realism.
Lift your battered eighth-week body out of its habitual slump in the library and drag it over to the Burton Taylor for a little over an hour – you won’t regret it. The Shape of Things is straight-up, refreshing and powerful liquor.
French Society’s Open Mic Night
Cherwell goes to French Society’s Open Mic Night, held at Queens’ College
Comic Potential
Drama Cuppers: Declan Clowry looks back at Jesus’ Cuppers play entry, ‘Comic Potential’, and interviews Director Francesca Goodwin
Get a grip FIFA
According to reports England’s bid to host the 2018 World Cup is hanging in the balance because of the British media’s investigations into how FIFA (the world football governing body) is run – the findings of these investigations demonstrating a not insignificant amount of corruption throughout the organisation. The Sunday Times accused both Amos Adamu and Reynald Temarii of selling their votes determining where the World Cup will end up. FIFA have suspended the two offenders, but apparently the whole incident has poisoned many of the other delegates against the England bid – which had previously been one of the favourites. A BBC Panarama programme also investigating FIFA was shown earlier this week, prompting the chief executive of England’s bid Andy Anson to call the BBC unpatriotic because the further damage it will apparently do to England’s chances.
The whole situation is quite frankly ridiculous. A free press which investigates and therefore eradicates corruption is surely a positive. FIFA are punishing England because our media had the freedom and ability to find that there was something wrong with their organisation. I can accept that there will always be a certain amount of hoop jumping when applying to host something like the World Cup, but surely there has to be a limit. Instead of condemning the BBC, Anson should have the courage to say that the investigations are worthwhile and valuable if the whole organisation is going to get cleaned up. The decision should be entirely based on the ability of the country to host the tournament, not about who your press pissed off in the FIFA hierarchy.
With the transport links and quality of stadia in England we surely have an excellent case to host the tournament. If we don’t get it because another bid has better facilities than us then that is fair. If we don’t get it because our country has the freedom to highlight FIFA’s corruption, and the members vote against us to show solidarity with their crooked colleagues, then it is a complete farce.
Dinner gets just desserts
Bella Hammad’s entrance, two minutes into the preview, won me over to this production. She rushes in and the piece sparkles to life with a tirade about her dreadful journey through the fog, and a hilarious account of her husband’s affair with ‘Pam’. Laughing out loud does rather undermine the supposedly intimidating status of the reviewer, but it was impossible not to, and the rest of the production followed in style.
On the face of it, Moira Buffini’s Dinner seems like a standard ‘dinner party’ play: Paige (Charlotte Mulliner) is holding a small party in honour of the success of husband Lars’s (Matt Gavan) new book, a neo- philosophical self-help guide. The guests are an amusingly odd assortment: a bohemian erotic artist Wynne, whose husband Bob has left her since she painted a portrait of his genitals, and the newly- weds Sian and Hal (a ‘newsbabe’ and microbiologist). They are later joined unexpectedly by a young thief, Mike. And comedy ensues. A witty script and eccentric characters in a social setting always make for entertainment.
But even the opening alerts us to the fact that this is going to be a bit different. The play opens with Paige telling a statuesque waiter, played unnervingly by Jean-Patrick Vieu in total silence, to follow the instructions she has given him to the letter – providing in the process a sinister framework for what is to come. She then proceeds to kiss him passionately – without him responding – and sets the tone for the entire evening, which is both Paige’s ‘design’, and frankly, weird.
What follows is a starter of ‘Primordial Soup’ (an inedible mix of soup and algae), ‘Apocalypse of Lobster’ (the guests must choose whether to free or kill their main course), and ‘Frozen Waste’ dessert (literally frozen garbage). Between courses the guests are expected to play a game which requires them to talk on specially selected subjects placed in envelopes, such as “suicide attempts”, which spark conflict and a series of dramatic revelations, including divorce, pregnancy, and robbery. We start to see the more emotional motivations behind sarky Paige’s orchestrated evening in a poignant moment when for her topic she asks Lars to get the ‘envelope’ he received a month previously, and Mulliner’s composure breaks down.
What struck me most about the production was its energy. The pace was snappy, it never dragged, and the actors genuinely looked like they were having a whale of a time. The relationships between characters are constantly being developed even when the focus isn’t on them; Sian (Chloe Wicks) and Hal (Rhys Bevan) said little in the scenes I was shown in comparison to some others, but the tension between them was clear throughout, and made their outburst not entirely unexpected. Even when moments of seriousness are defused with comedy, it does not undermine the issues being highlighted. Lars’s book is the basis of the dinner party, but its philosophy is also used to underline the party’s futility.
From a visual point of view, directors Rob Hoare Nairne and Anna Fox explain that they are trying to break away from the “twee” dinner party theme with a specially made trapezium-shaped table to give the audience a perspective of the guests. This will be added to by the theme of black, white and ‘metal’, with square plates and spirits instead of wine, and accompanied by a DJ remix of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. None of that can disguise that it is a dinner party themed play. But it doesn’t matter in the slightest – I could not recommend more that everyone who can should go and watch this – even if you’re not a regular play-goer. It’s well-acted, very funny and has a “huge twist” at the end which Anna Fox frustratingly refused to reveal, but which I will certainly be going to discover.

