Christ Church JCR has unanimously passed a motion to employ a masseuse during exam time in an attempt to knock Magdalen off the Norrington table top spot.

In the minutes of the General Meeting on Sunday, Andy Pearson, the Christ Church finalist who proposed the motion, is quoted as saying, “Magdalene [sic.] came top of the Norrington table last year.

“We all know that we should dick all over Magdalene [sic.].

 “So I thought to myself ‘what do they have that we don’t’ and the answer is a professional masseuse during exam season.”

Pearson later told Cherwell that the Magdalen masseuse “may not actually exist” saying he had heard about it “through a complicated string of Chinese Whispers”.

Lauren Daum, the President of Magdalen JCR said, “I’m afraid we do not have a masseuse…if only!”

Magdalen topped the degree classification table for the first time last year with over 50% of its finalists earning a First whilst Christ Church came seventh out of the thirty colleges, with a third of its students making the top class.

Figures show that Magdalen has consistently attained a higher position then Christ Church in the table over the last five years.

However Pearson claimed, “I can tell you that a similar scheme is in place at Tufts University, and is extremely popular (they also have puppies and kittens brought in during the exam season- perhaps this will be next…).” 

He also stressed the serious side of the motion, saying, “While it looks like a joke motion, it does address a real problem that many finalists face: they’re very stressed, and the methods that they use to counter this stress aren’t always particularly good for them.

“Hopefully some massage, combined with simply taking the time out of the library, will make things a bit better.”

Regarding the financing of the masseuse he said, “The money for this would come primarily from welfare, however I personally would find a massage very entertaining so maybe some from entz as well.”

Christ Church’s JCR President, second year Matt Barrett said, “I think the motion is excellent, everyone knows that exams are stressful and a free massage would be an excellent way to chill out.

“The JCR obviously has the welfare of its members at heart and we’ll do what we can to make exam season bearable.

“The proposer expressed a preference for Swedish massage but the specifics are yet to be worked out.”

He also said that the meeting was “well attended” although concerns over reaching quorum in general meetings were raised in a separate motion at the meeting.

Speaking about the success of the motion, Magdalen JCR President Daum, said, “We would encourage Christ Church to take whatever steps they feel are necessary in order for them to present us with a credible challenge in the Norrington-Table-stakes.

“Sadly we feel it may take (much) more than employing a masseuse.  In the mean time, we will continue to enjoy giving them an ‘intellectual whopping’ year on year.”

A recent Oxford University study has shown that nearly one third of people who have access to the internet have visited internet dating sites.

The research also showed that 15 percent of people asked had found their current partner online. This was especially common among middle aged men and women who had found their partner since 1996, of whom nearly 40 percent had met online.

The research  concluded that, while church, family and hobby-groups have become less common routes to love, the usage of both clubbing and mutual friends have increased alongside online methods.

Bernie Hogan, member of the Oxford Internet Institute and co-writer of this study, said, “what the online world does is makes things findable – it makes people findable”.

An Oxford academic has predicted that major UK stores will need to stock and accept Chinese currency in the next few years, such will be the strength of the Chinese economy and the impact of Chinese tourists. 

Dr Karl Gerth of Merton said, “With China’s huge population and spending power it is no surprise that big firms are bending over backwards to meet the demands of the Chinese consumer.”

Some luxury stores in London have already taken the unprecedented move of setting up China Union-Pay debit card terminals, which are seldom seen outside of China, to take advantage of the vast spending by China’s millionaires.

Gerth suggested that with the growth of China’s middle class and the ever-increasing popularity among the Chinese for foreign travel, acceptance of Chinese currency in UK stores will inevitably become widespread.

Oxford University’s Undergraduate Admissions team has won two awards for innovation and best practice at the Higher Education Liaison Officers’ Association (HELOA) National Conference.

The admissions team was recognised for its series of self-guided audio tours. Oxford’s Student Recruitment Team’s Julia Richardson, who designed the tours, said, “The Audio Admissions Tours helps students navigate their way around the University whilst providing them with useful information and advice about the admissions process.”

University College’s Alternative Prospectus also won a prize for its innovative newspaper format with features such as tutor interviews, crosswords and a pull-out Oxford map featuring their recommendations.

Last Saturday, local campaigners took to Cornmarket Street in Oxford, handing out Valentine’s Day cards that urged people to “follow their hearts” and back the Alternative Vote, which would allow voters to rank candidates in order of preference.

The Yes To Fairer Votes campaign hopes to persuade people to vote “Yes” in the referendum on adopting AV on 5th May, by claiming that it would eliminate the need for tactical voting.

Andrew Mell, a campaigner and Oxford University student, cited evidence that showed that 20% of people in the South East feel forced to vote tactically in elections.

He said, “With AV we’ll never have to choose between our heads and our hearts again.”

The Lord Mayor of Oxford, John Goddard, joined the campaigners to voice his support for a system which he believes, “will give voters greater influence over their MP.”

The Yes To Fairer Votes Oxfordshire group have said that will campaign up until the 5th May, with weekly street stalls across the county. A phone bank was launched this week to “get in contact with as many voters as possible.”

Zoe Tyndall, one of the phone bank organisers, said “Oxfordshire is a vast area to cover and we don’t have the money or the established organisation of the political parties.” She added that calling voters was “a lot more fun that stuffing envelopes”.
Mell told Cherwell, “We’re not taking anything for granted…this is going to be a very close campaign.”

Former UN Secretary-General and Nobel Peace Prize winner Kofi Annan announced the introduction of new African scholarships in a talk at Exeter College on Monday.

The scholarships will cover full fees and living expenses and will be awarded to three students each year from Ghana, Angola and Nigeria who demonstrate the potential to become future leaders in politics, business or public life.

The funding, paid for by Italian oil giant Eni, will allow candidates to study for a one or two year taught Master’s degree at St Antony’s College.

Kevin Lindsay, a first year with family in Ghana, said the scholarship is a “sure step in the right direction towards helping to alleviate the problems of the cost of educating Africa’s brightest minds.”

University Vice-Chancellor, Professor Andrew Hamilton, said, “I am very grateful to Eni for creating this scholarship programme with St Antony’s. Oxford has a proud tradition of undertaking scholarship on Africa, and encouraging scholars from Africa.”

Annan came to Oxford to give a lecture entitled “The Future of Africa” as part of Exeter College’s 700th anniversary celebrations. He also  opened a new home for Oxford’s African Studies Centre.

University College’s halfway hall was shut down early last week after student behaviour became disorderly.

Second year students, who were celebrating the halfway point of their degrees last Thursday, saw their fun cut short after a porter at the college ended the meal before its natural close, despite the fact that students had already paid for the occasion.

Students had been warned against their rowdy behaviour, which included much ‘sconcing’ earlier in the night. After the faculty and guests on the high table had left, students’ propriety was deemed too bad to allow the celebratory dinner to continue.

Early on during the evening, the second years had been ‘sconcing’ one another, but were requested by members of the catering service to stop until the fellows and guests present had left dinner.

Although there were a few more sconces towards the end of the meal, no more cautions were issued. However, once the senior members present had left the hall, the behaviour of the students was judged to have become less decorous.

As the diners became more raucous, one of the porters entered the hall and requested that they quiet down. One Univ student suggested that when a diner muttered that he was sorry, the porter misconstrued the apology and told everyone to leave.

One second year remarked that many students were angry at having their night curtailed, just as the evening had begun to get going.

The student, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “I don’t believe we had overstepped the mark, and we were disappointed at having our evening terminated so early, at only 9 o’clock.”

She suggested that the college had been mean-spirited in their treatment of the second years, on an evening that was felt to be special by many of them. She added that the college had provided a reasonable amount of free wine for the students, which may have contributed to their concern over students’ behaviour.

Another student told Cherwell that the whole affair had been blown out of proportion, noting that the students’ antics were in good feeling, with the sconcing, as at any crewdate, involving mostly in-jokes and general good humour.

When asked whether the second years had offered any formal apology, he replied that they had not, and that “the whole incident had blown over.”

University College’s Principal was contacted but was unavailable to comment.

Islamic scholar Dr Zakir Naik, who is banned from entering the UK, addressed the Oxford Union last Friday through a video-link. He was met with both applause and pointed questions from students as he spoke from the set of his Islamic television station, Peace TV, based in Mumbai.

Naik, President and founder of the Islamic Research Foundation, is currently denied entry to Britain by Home Secretary Theresa May. Last year she described several of his public statements as evidence of “unacceptable behaviour” that justified an exclusion order by the Home Office.

Among the remarks that resulted in the Home Secretary’s order were Naik’s public statements regarding jihad and terrorism, posted on the Internet in 2007.

In one of these videos Naik remarked of Osama bin Laden, “If you ask my view, if he is fighting the enemies of Islam, I am for him.” He has also said, “Every Muslim should be a terrorist for the antisocial elements of society.”

The Union sought to provide an arena for the discussion of Naik’s opinions as well as the current status of his legal challenge of the exclusion order.

The talk soon moved from theology to politics and he accused the Western media of spreading a false image of Islam and of Muslims.

“The media picks out the black sheep and portrays them as though they are exemplary Muslims,” Naik said.

 Naik addressed several of his past remarks that prompted his exclusion order.

He told the audience that he publicly condemned such terrorist aggression as the 9/11 attacks, the 7/7 bombing and the Mumbai bombing in 2006. He stressed that “Islam condemns terrorism” more plainly than any other faith.

He also said that his advice for husbands to use caution when beating their wives, another tape widely circulated on the internet, has been distorted. Naik insisted that any beating should not leave a mark and is to be done “with something like a toothbrush.”

Naik was asked by Union Secretary Izzy Westbury whether or not it is “patronising and degrading” to deny women the a choice in wearing the hijab, or traditional Muslim head covering. Naik said that different cultures have different ideas of modesty, though he also stated “Islam cannot force anyone to adopt the hijab.”

Speaking of his efforts to challenge the Home Office’s exclusion order, Naik said, “I have faith in the judicial system, and I hope that in the future I will have the chance to meet Theresa May and explain to her the peaceful message of Islam.”

A Cherwell investigation has found that huge procedural discrepancies exist between colleges for students wishing to change subjects during the course of their degree.

The varying treatment received by students from college to college can lead to the difference between students being permitted to change course and remain at Oxford, or alternatively, dropping out of Oxford altogether, as a result of not being able to change subjects.

Results obtained by Cherwell through a Freedom of Information request reveal some interesting trends. Over the past five years, the vast majority of subject changes have occurred within the humanities, while far fewer course changes have taken place within undergraduate science courses. Students are far less likely to change from a science to an art, and only a handful of students across the University request to change from a humanity to a science based subject.

According to the University’s own statistics, Philosophy, Politics and Economics (PPE) is one of the most competitive courses to get on to, attracting the most applicants out of all other undergraduate subjects over the past five years, and having a consistently low success rate, relative to other subjects.

Cherwell’s investigation can reveal that PPE is also among the most popular course to which to switch upon arrival, with students often changing from similar, yet less competitive courses such as Maths and Philosophy or Physics and Philosophy.

Cherwell’s findings have led to concerns that some students may be applying for less competitive courses in order to secure a place at Oxford, then changing on to more competitive courses upon arrival.

OUSU VP for Access and Academic Affairs Alex Bulfin said, “It is impossible to say to what extent this is a widespread phenomenon; most colleges are very careful in their handling of requests to switch course and as such I think a lot of ‘tactical switching’ would be filtered out if it is being attempted.”

Bulfin continued, “It is another good reason for leaving the final decision on switching courses with the colleges rather than handling it centrally.”

There is no centralised University system for course change requests, meaning that each college adheres to its own procedural guidelines.

St Anne’s is one of many colleges to stress an “exceptional circumstances” rule for changing subjects.

The college rules state that “In exceptional circumstances, a student may be permitted to change subject; in this case permission must be obtained from Tutorial Fellows in both the releasing and accepting School, and funding for the new course confirmed.”

Isabella Anderson, from St Anne’s, successfully changed from Maths to PPE. She said, “Everyone at St Anne’s was really supportive throughout the whole process – and the focus was very much on what would be best for me.

“The process of trying to switch subject formally started after I sat my prelims so the only requirement was that there would be a space on the course after the A level results were released. I had to go through an application process as if I were applying from outside – submitting a personal statement and being interviewed.”

Michael Haggar, a current second year from Wadham, successfully changed to PPE from Physics and Philosophy. He told Cherwell, “Wadham seems to be quite lenient about everything. My senior tutor was really nice about it, she said I should wait till the end of first year to change. I already knew the Philosophy tutor at Wadham from my course, and over the summer just after first year, I contacted the Wadham Politics and Economics tutors directly, to ask them about the change.
“They like to see anyone passionate about their subject, and I was luckily in that the Politics tutor and I had a good rapport. The whole process was fine, I did not even have to repeat the first year, but picked up the PPE course from second year which I was really happy about. I didn’t have to go to any meetings at all. But I think it depends on the college, and also on the tutors involved.”

However, not all students have such an easy ride. One second year at St Hugh’s claimed that his application to change subject was so stressful that it caused him to have panic attacks.

Originally accepted at Oxford to study French and Arabic, he said, “I was one of the few students in my year group who arrived at Oxford with no prior knowledge of Arabic, so felt very highly pressured once I got here.

“Changing course took a really long time; the college wanted to make sure that I wasn’t trying to get onto an easier course. They said I should keep going with Arabic as that was what I had been accepted to the college to study.

“I was told I would need to keep going with Arabic until prelims and that even then, changing courses would still depend on my results. It felt like the institution was against me.”

He said the process caused him a lot of stress, and he claimed that this precipitated a series of panic attacks. He continued, “Eventually, I was told I would be given an interview for French and Philosophy during the normal interview period.

“Early in Hilary Term, I was told I would be accepted onto that course, and after that the college were really helpful. I took the rest of the year out, and returned to Oxford as a fresher the following October.”

Bulfin, OUSU VP, told Cherwell that procedural differences between colleges regarding subject change are a “significant challenge facing the University.”

A spokesperson from the University Press Office confirmed that there was no centralised University policy on changing subjects. He said, “Obviously changes of course are handled on a case-by-case basis by colleges, and different students will have different circumstances, as different colleges may have different procedures. However, each college deals with each case separately, so from a central perspective there’s not really anything we can say.”

Bulfin defended the college based approach, saying, “I’m not sure that a centralised procedure for this would be appropriate. Ultimately colleges and college tutors are the admitting body for undergraduates and it is only fair that they have a say in whether or not a student switches courses. So much of the undergraduate experience of teaching is college-based and I think it would be difficult for a department or faculty to make these decisions.

“They won’t know, for instance, how well resourced a certain subject is within a certain college, and this could cause further problems for the student and the college.

“I think a better question to ask is can separate college procedures be brought more closely in line with a common framework or model of best practice, or better still have one set of procedures adopted by all the colleges, so that all students go through similar processes but colleges are still able to make decisions on a case-by-case basis.”

Police vans were present on Turl Street last Friday as the annual ‘Turl Street Dash’ took place once again.

The Dash is an annual bike race around the streets of Oxford that has ended in the past in excessive drinking and  violent confrontation between members of long-standing rival colleges, Exeter and Jesus.

The event had previously been banned by both colleges following the Dash of two years ago.

The 2009  Dash made national news, ending with students breaking into and urinating on rival colleges, throwing bikes and a fight that forced Exeter’s porter, junior dean and bar manager to step in and break it up.

However, while police vans did turn up at this year’s banned event, the confrontation did not reach the same levels of aggression that have been seen in previous years.

After 70 students from each college had assembled on the street, the race, complete with the customary drinking of ten pints followed by one for every year spent at college, got under way.

While there were shouts of abuse between  the rival colleges and water was thrown, the atmosphere was distinctly less aggressive than in previous years.  Some attributed this to the presence of the police van.

A first year student at Exeter claimed, “We didn’t even know if it was still going to happen”, while a member of Jesus college said, “It was all just a bit of a laugh. Nothing serious”.

The decreasing aggression between the two colleges will come as a relief for the organisers of the ‘Turl Street Arts Festival’ occurring this week, organised by students at Exeter, Jesus and Lincoln colleges.