Saturday 6th December 2025
Blog Page 1991

Bringing an old beast back to life

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Early on Tuesday afternoon the final incantation of a long prepared spell was ceremoniously pronounced. An old prophet, scarred from his previous attempts, now looked triumphant. He stood amongst a crowd of rapturous supporters, and, staring through cameras out at the nation, brought an old beast back to life. Iain Duncan Smith was on the stage, and the working class Tory was flexing its muscles once more.

Nobody quite noticed when it happened, but some time in the last few decades working class Conservatism seemed to fade and die. Subsumed by an ever-growing public sector, Labour was sucking in employees and generating a faithful caste of voters. As big business took over the business agenda, what was once a dominant voter group was becoming remarkably insignificant. The Tory Conference this week seemed to be a wholesale effort at reinvigorating this once mighty force.

IDS’s dynamic universal credit is the step that really cements this revival. From its implementation some time in 2013 some of the 4.4 million people who been on benefits without a day’s work since Labour came to power will finally be able to afford employment. The paperwork and complexity of welfare will be stripped down and remoulded into a single system, removing the fear brought on by welfare’s historic opacity. Their lives will undoubtedly be improved, and they will have a Tory government to thank for it.

Private sector employees are always more likely to be Conservative anyway, but this government seems unsatisfied to rely on such simple probability. It is funding business start-ups to the tune of £2000, and hopes to create some ten thousand new businesses this way within a year. It has slashed corporation tax for small businesses, relieved them of national insurance costs in target regions, and is using welfare reform to supply a new pool of willing labour. If it succeeds, then it will have ten thousand safe new Conservative votes. While Labour was able to build its voting bloc by hiring people into its philosophy, Cameron’s Conservatives hope to build a new demographic of naturally blue voters.

A Bird’s Eye View of Oxford, Through the Lens of a New York Times Reporter

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All over the world, both reporters and readers of newspapers large and small are heard bemoaning the so-called “death” of print journalism. Due to the widespread and ever-expanding use of technology, many claim that print journalism is quickly becoming obsolete. But according to Sarah Lyall, a reporter for the New York Times who takes a special interest in covering stories pertaining to Oxford, students today who are interested in pursuing a career as a journalist should not be deterred by any such beliefs.

Born and raised in New York City, Ms. Lyall says that as a child, she loved reading her hometown paper – which just happened to be the New York Times. She viewed reading the news in print “as a way to find out about and be engaged with what was happening in the world.” She goes on to explain the development of her interest in journalism as a career, saying “When I learned what journalists did – essentially, go out and ask lots of nosy questions , meet people you’d never meet otherwise, and then get to write about it – I was hooked.”

After attending boarding school in New Hampshire, where she was on the staff of her school newspaper, she enrolled at Yale University. At college, she became an editor of the Yale Daily News. Once she had decided that journalism was the career for her, she did not let anything stand in her way. In pursuing her goal, she says she “moved to Washington, got a clerical job at the Times, wrote stories in my spare time, and wouldn’t leave until they made me a reporter.”

Today, Ms. Lyall covers stories focusing on politics, culture, and features that reveal details about life in both Britain and Scandinavia, the territories she specializes in. “I like funny stories the best,” she says, “stories that you can write in a humorous, unexpected way, but that reveal bigger truths about British society. ”

Last May, Ms. Lyall wrote a piece for the New York Times which grabbed a spot on their list of most popular stories viewed through the online edition of the paper. The story concerned the abolition of the one-word exam for admission to a fellowship of All Souls College (a story covered in Cherwell by the author of this piece, coincidentally!) When asked how she came to write about the event, she explained that “Americans are fascinated by stories about the — to us — arcane traditions at Oxford and Cambridge, and especially fascinated by the rituals surrounding the admissions process.”

When asked to give advice to aspiring journalists, Ms. Lyall begins by acknowledging the changes occurring in the media world, saying that “things are changing so quickly, that it’s hard to give advice based on my own experience.” However, she goes on to outline qualities important no matter what form the words of a reporter are published in, saying “that to be a good journalist you have to be an avid reader with an avid curiosity and an endless capacity to be interested in the world around you. You should not be afraid to ask stupid questions in order to get things right. You shouldn’t believe anything you hear unless you’ve checked it out. And you should remember to put your ego aside – the story is always more important than the reporter. ”

What’s in fashion this term? Part 2: Mad Men must haves

Rejoice! Stop going for runs and start eating winter carbs! This season sees a return to the womanly figure of heaving bosoms, nipped-in waists and hourglass proportions. Inspired by the hit TV show Mad Men, the best of the 50s are back with a vengeance, and full skirts, sweetheart necklines and waspish belts are the only thing to be seen in. We’re not talking cardigans-around-shoulders preppy – this is the season for subtle sex appeal, and channelling the glamour of Grace Kelly and the curves of Marilyn Monroe is what it’s all about. To avoid looking too Donna Reed, opt for pieces with an edge, such as leather accents, fur trims or intense tones of purple and russet.Hemlines are dropping to mid-calf, and footwear sees a return to more modest proportions too as the kitten heel makes a comeback. No 50s goddess should be without her accessories, and a neat frame handbag and timeless pearls will be the cherries on top. Embrace your inner hourglass-shaped goddess with this most feminine and flarttering of aesthetics, and watch out for Cherwell’s fabulous 50s-inspired photoshoot.

Photo: Cardigan, H & M

Tips for the season

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Men’s Premier League Football

Sure to be fiercely contested this season. Reigning champions Christ Church will again be challenged by a St Catz team who missed out on the title by a single point last year. College football giants Worcester must also be considered contenders for the title after they impressively won the first division last year to promote them back to where tradition dictates they belong.

First Division Men’s Rugby

An intriguing battle between teams with rich and successful pasts. Cuppers champions Univ will be confident that they can displace perennial favourites Keble, who dominated last years’ league, from the top spot. Teddy Hall, most successful of all rugby playing colleges, can never be discounted as challengers – but it would be a shock if they managed to take the title this season.

Women’s Premier League Football

Womens’ football in increasingly competitive – last season, Wadham / Green Templeton took the title on goal difference from Mansfield. Both these sides will hope for a similar performance this year but must be wary of the threat posed by an impressive Somerville side. Somerville women won the second division last year at a canter and also took the cuppers title: it is difficult to see past them when predicting where the first division title will go this year.

What’s in fashion this term? Part 1: Outerwear

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Coats are having A Moment, and not just because the temperatures are dropping. This is fast becoming the year of the statement outerwear, with enough gorgeous shapes and styles around to suit everyone. Thankfully, the options this year are both fabulous to look at and a pleasure to wear – fashion has a lot to thank the recession for, as the days of frivolous ‘It’ pieces seem like a distant memory. Invest in a great coat to see you through the season and beyond.

Trenches are perfectly in keeping with the feminine 50s silhouette as well as being eminently practical. For a harder look, try a pea coat for a military edge with an earthy palette of khaki greens, browns and navy. It’s definitely worth signing up for these army inspired structured jackets, with oversized brass buttons and lapels making a commanding fashion statement.

Alternatively, invest in a cape this season, the perfect shape to wear over layers and chunky knits without looking bulky. Channel your inner superhero with style and grace in this easy-to-wear statement piece. For a tougher edge, a shearling aviator jacket is a must have item thanks to the Autumn/Winter 2010 collection from Burberry Prorsum – it will keep you cosy and make you look like a rock star.

When times are hard fashion goes back to basics, turning away from showy glitz in favour of understated stylish elegance. The camel coat will be a favourite way to survive this winter – simple but flattering shapes and soft neutral colours are a safe bet for instant sophistication. There’s something for everyone in this style with cosy long length belted coats, pretty detailed designs or more androgynous double-breasted fits. In keeping with the simplicity of classic looks, the blazer is another option. Dolce and Gabbana showed us how to wear fitted styles accentuating the female form with nipped-in waists and sleek lines as they payed homage to this timeless classic and the benefits of expert tailoring. For more casual wear, take a trip down memory lane and revisit those playground days with the old school duffel coat. Hooded duffels are practical in saving you from a bad hair day with the unpredictable weather as well as looking effortlessly stylish.

The options are endless for the coat this season, with outerwear stealing the limelight as the main focus of your winter wardrobe. You can almost forget the rest of your outfit if you’ve invested wisely in the perfect coat. Wear your hemlines above that of the coat and keep it centre stage. Cherwell will be leading you through the outwear maze in a dedicated photoshoot in the next few weeks.

Camel cape: Topshop

What’s in fashion this term? Part 1: Outerwear

Coats are having A Moment, and not just because the temperatures are dropping. This is fast becoming the year of the statement outerwear, with enough gorgeous shapes and styles around to suit everyone. Thankfully, the options this year are both fabulous to look at and a pleasure to wear – fashion has a lot to thank the recession for, as the days of frivolous ‘It’ pieces seem like a distant memory. Invest in a great coat to see you through the season and beyond.

Trenches are perfectly in keeping with the feminine 50s silhouette as well as being eminently practical. For a harder look, try a pea coat for a military edge with an earthy palette of khaki greens, browns and navy. It’s definitely worth signing up for these army inspired structured jackets, with oversized brass buttons and lapels making a commanding fashion statement.

Alternatively, invest in a cape this season, the perfect shape to wear over layers and chunky knits without looking bulky. Channel your inner superhero with style and grace in this easy-to-wear statement piece. For a tougher edge, a shearling aviator jacket is a must have item thanks to the Autumn/Winter 2010 collection from Burberry Prorsum – it will keep you cosy and make you look like a rock star.

When times are hard fashion goes back to basics, turning away from showy glitz in favour of understated stylish elegance. The camel coat will be a favourite way to survive this winter – simple but flattering shapes and soft neutral colours are a safe bet for instant sophistication. There’s something for everyone in this style with cosy long length belted coats, pretty detailed designs or more androgynous double-breasted fits. In keeping with the simplicity of classic looks, the blazer is another option. Dolce and Gabbana showed us how to wear fitted styles accentuating the female form with nipped-in waists and sleek lines as they payed homage to this timeless classic and the benefits of expert tailoring. For more casual wear, take a trip down memory lane and revisit those playground days with the old school duffel coat. Hooded duffels are practical in saving you from a bad hair day with the unpredictable weather as well as looking effortlessly stylish.

The options are endless for the coat this season, with outerwear stealing the limelight as the main focus of your winter wardrobe. You can almost forget the rest of your outfit if you’ve invested wisely in the perfect coat. Wear your hemlines above that of the coat and keep it centre stage. Cherwell will be leading you through the outwear maze in a dedicated photoshoot in the next few weeks.

Oxford stumped by Tabs

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It has been an impressive season for Oxford University’s Women’s Cricket Team with a series of victories in the warm up matches, including winning their group in the BUCS trophy and enjoying high profile games, such as hosting the MCC in the Parks.

Oxford entered this year’s Varsity match with increased optimism, following a talented intake of freshers to play alongside some OUWCC regulars. The Varsity campaign this season held much more hope than the previous year, with an impressive bowling attack looking dangerous. Held at Lord’s at the same time as the men’s game, the women’s fixture is enjoying increasing support each year, with the nursery ground providing a fantastic venue.

Winning the toss for the 50 over match, Oxford put Cambridge into bat first. Cambridge batted solidly against Oxford’s tight bowling attack throughout their innings, but lost wickets regularly, keeping Oxford in the game. Good middle order support was provided by Bellfield and Lavender, helping Cambridge to a total of 241, all out. Bex Hay and Pim Fitzpayne, both taking 2 wickets at crucial moments, led the Oxford bowling attack, with Captain Sophie le Marchand coordinating the field from behind the stumps.

With 241 as the target, Oxford set out after lunch, optimistically knowing that the total was achievable with a good batting performance throughout the order. Sophie le Marchand marshalled the innings from the top, making an impressive 79, the highest score in the match.
Unfortunately, wickets fell regularly and when Le Marchand was out at the fall of the 6th wicket, Cambridge celebrated knowing that victory was near. Oxford made a total of 133 all out, allowing Cambridge to retain the Varsity title.

Sport talk: a dictionary

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Oxford’s own language also extends in to the world of its sport. With this in mind, your benevolent sports team here at Cherwell have decided to help you out with a handy glossary, but don’t blame us when your home friends balk at your stories of croquet cuppers or blades at Torpids.

Blue: The big daddy. Denotes both the first team of any Oxford sport, as well as the award given to any player who takes the field in Varsity matches in sports such as rugby union, football, cricket, hockey and rowing.

Blue tac: Not only a banned substance on college walls, Blue tac is also seen on a Wednesday night in Park End when certain Oxford females will try to bag themselves a Blue, identifying them by their club tie.

Bumps: With the River Isis being too narrow to fit several crews in a line, bumps racing is the principle form of racing at Oxford. Crews line up in divisions one behind the other and try to ‘bump’ the crew in front and start the next day ahead of them in the division. A crew that bumps on every day of the regatta wins blades, a crew that is bumped ever day ‘wins’ spoons.

Cuppers: Inter-College knock out competition. Typically university sportsmen are allowed to compete, making for higher standard matches, and a lot of splinters if you play in one of their positions.

Catching Crabs: When your blade (oar) gets stuck under your boat it is known as catching a crab. This doubles up as a hackneyed punch line of many a rowing joke.

Croquet: Croquet cuppers is supposedly the biggest croquet competition in the world, and is the focal point of what is a surprisingly entertaining summer sport. Find three friends, have a laugh, and then get knocked out by a team that takes it far too seriously.

Iffley: A cover-all term that describes everything at the university sports complex on Iffley road. Site of the running track, university sports pitches, swimming pool and gym.

Half Blue: Awarded to those who compete in Varsity matches in supposedly less prestigous sports. Athletics gets a half blue; so does dancing. Fair? You decide.

Summer VIIIs: Arguably the apogee of inter-collegiate sport, summer VIIIs is a bumps regatta that takes place in the 5th week of Trinity term. Whilst the rowing provides an exciting interlude, the main attraction is Saturday of Eights, where thousands of people flock to the Isis to frolic in the sun and drink Pimm’s.

Vinnie’s: a.k.a. Cassa de Lad, this boys’ only club is the haunt of Oxford’s top sportsmen. You have to be suggested and then approved to become a member, and are allowed no female company before 6 p.m. Perks include cheap food, cheap booze and so many lad points you may need a bigger van to carry them in.

A college sporting chance

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Rugby

Having played rugby at school, it was natural for me to try out for the Merton-Mansfield team. We are currently in the fourth division out of five, so ‘try-out’ is an exaggeration. This is the great advantage of college sport: anyone can give it a go. Our best find has been a Canadian powerlifter (and ex grizzly-bear-wrestler) Jake, who had never played rugby before coming to Oxford as, but now has a habit of single-handedly destroying front rows.

In my second year, I was made captain and was forced to approach the games and training from a different perspective – with an eye to organisation and a very active nexus account. It was a rewarding experience, especially when a training move came off in a match.
The best thing about college rugby is that it has given me the chance to carry on playing where at other universities I wouldn’t be good enough. It perfectly bridges the gap between a friendly kick-about and constant training and protein shakes.

Best Bit: Playing a cuppers, plate or bowl final at the Blues Rugby Stadium in Iffley.

Worst Bit: A tackle from a Canadian Powerlifter…

Cherwell says: With competition for the Blues team making it almost impossible for the casual rugby player to be in with a sniff, college rugby provides a more than suitable alternative.

Rowing

Unless you’re a) American or b) masochistic, then rowing in the first two terms at Oxford might be something to avoid. Whilst it may be sold as the ‘quintessential Oxford experience’, the reality is a combination of blisters, drinking bans and ‘banter’ that’s as omnipresent as it is terrible. But everyone rows at Oxford, right? Yes, but timing is crucial: rowing in Trinity is an entirely different beast. Whilst those serious boaties step up their training for the pinnacle of their lycra-clad careers – Summer VIIIs – a new breed also emerges on to the Isis in Trinity term, typically in the afternoon, and only when it’s not raining: the beer boat.

Whilst over 50% of undergraduates row at some point in Oxford, the majority sensibly decide that the best format for this is in the sun, with a group of friends and where the choice of fancy dress for the race is far more important than the actual training. The reality is you will probably spend Saturday of Summer VIIIs pissed on a balcony but at least you’ll have had a good laugh.

Best Bit: Fancy dress and a large amount of Pimms.

Worst Bit: Possibility of undesirable encounter with lycra.

Cherwell says: Beer boats provide a leisurely introduction to rowing, with most of the gain and none of the pain. And you still get to say you rowed at Oxford.

Football

For many players the most rewarding aspect of college football is the self-delusion of accumulation of stash. The fact that you bought it yourself, for the kind of money you would never spend on actual clothes doesn’t spoil the excitement of looking like a pro at two o’clock every Wednesday afternoon in front of literally several people. After all, how will they know which name to chant unless it’s printed on your back? Proper footballers must sometimes privately acknowledge the joy of seeing in a their initialled kitbag the realisation of an adolescent dream. Apparently, during his playing days Mark Hughes’ passport photo was a Panini sticker of himself.

College football lets you meet your boyhood self at halfway. Happily, there is also an online outlet for this kind of make-believe as OUAFC.com records individual and team statistics and league tables. And sometimes, it actually seems as if somebody other than yourself might care how good you look and how many goals you score.

Best Bit: Official kit, complete with name and number printing. Every football fan’s dream.

Worst Bit: Getting knocked off top spot in the scorer’s table by some upstart hall worker from Christchurch who isn’t even a student.

Cherwell says: The complete footballing experience.

Cricket

In Trinity of first year a JCR email asked if anybody wanted to play in a ‘recreational’ match. I hadn’t picked up a cricket bat since Primary school, but I was assured that this more than qualified me. Our team of 8, including novices like myself alongside someone who had played for Warwickshire Under-15s found ourselves playing a Hertford XI one Friday afternoon. There was lots of ginger cake (not sure why, but thanks nonetheless, Hertford), lots of poor cricket mixed with friendly competition and lots of laughs. I can’t remember the result, to be honest I don’t much care to try; never has it been more true that it was not the winning, but the taking part, the trying something new, that counted.

Be it a new sport, or one you already enjoy, and whether you want to compete nationally, between colleges, or if you just want to go to the pub afterwards, I urge you to throw yourself into Oxford sporting life; you’ll make friends, have fun and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get some cake.

Best Bit: Social Cricket = sporting socials.

Worst Bit: Its’s hard to see any downside to free cake…

Cherwell says: Get involved. There is nothing better than a well earned pint
at the college bar after a ‘hard fought’ victory.

Creaming Spires

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Same bat time, same bat place, same bat vagina. Mine, in case you’re wondering. Actually, it probably would be a bat cloaca, wouldn’t it? I don’t think bats have fannies.

In any case, I want to talk about bats. Vampires, more particularly. Why are they all sexy again? Twilight, True Blood, everyone’s getting all moist around the collective cloaca watching pale aristocratic looking people suck each other’s blood.

Forgive me for not lubricating up with y’all, but I presumed we’d got over this fetish with Bram Stoker et al about a hundred years ago? At least then it was openly a camp fest, a gay romp through Victorian Britain, where men penetrate each other and whoever else they want whilst wearing darling little capes. They even got to sleep through their hang-overs, thus waking up at night-time looking fabulous, those lucky bitches. I am, at this moment, very tempted to make a ‘batty boy’ joke. But I’ll resist. I am, after all, white, straight and middle class, and I don’t want a bitch-slap in Poptarts. Anyway, now erotic blood swallowing (or spitting) seems to have taken on some dubious integrity, where gobbling down someone else’s bodily fluids is understood as a deep analogy for unspoken desires, but it’s just sexy because it makes you think of blow jobs and bumming and stuff.

Of course, Oxford students can only ‘ironically’ like Twilight, but I’ve heard Oxfordians openly extolling the artistic merits of True Blood. Let’s sum those up – Rogue from X-Men has dropped around 3 stone, discovered bleach and push-up bras, and there’s more sexy/violent scenes than you can shake a lubed-up stake at. But that is it, my friends. You just like it because you’re repressed.

Despite your world class education, you just can’t tell that willing History Fresher that all you’d really like her to do is stick a cheeky digit up your annus horribilis. That’s why we have all this ritual. Crew dates, for instance, where huge amounts of alcohol and curry has to be consumed until there’s literally nothing left to do but clumsily get hot (luke-warm most often) and heavy. Because though we can debate the influence of Impressionism or minutely trace the philosophical development from Descartes to Kant, we are – sexually speaking – retards.
We just can’t admit that all we want is to run around in capes and penetrate people. Or be penetrated. Or, you know, spit-roasted, for the open minded. A cloaca would certainly make that easier.