Friday 28th November 2025
Blog Page 2022

Forlan finishes forlorn Fulham

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No-one in the JCR TV room is a Fulham supporter, but that doesn’t seem to matter. With an almost nonchalant flick of his trailing right heel, Diego Forlan has just driven a stake into our neutral-turned-fanatic hearts. Atletico Madrid close out the final 5 minutes of an entrancing extra-time period, clinching the inaugural Europa League with the most gut-wrenchingly tight 2-1 victory. Fulham’s travelling cohort of celebrity followers struggle to contain themselves, too: Lily Allen is openly sobbing, Hugh Grant spills his beer in frustration, and owner Mohammed Al-Fayed looks like a man who’d trade all the money in the world (£1.5 billion from this week’s sale of Harrods, to be exact) for a re-scripted ending to one of the most amazing near-misses in European football history.

There’ll be enough glowing panegyrics in the national press: Roy Hodgson has orchestrated a transformation of truly epic proportions, moulding a Premier League bottom-feeder into continental finalists within 3 years. What a massive shame that a remarkably successful season was not crowned by the club’s very first piece of silverware: to lose a match in such late and crushing circumstances is as brutal as sport gets. Fulham are a small-sized, average-funded top division club- they certainly don’t spend wildly, and rely heavily upon the proven tactical astuteness of their outstanding manager: in short, this Europa League final had all the feel of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the west Londoners. Distraught players litter the post-match pitch in Hamburg like wounded soldiers, men haunted by the immediate spectre of glory unfulfilled. Everything that has been accomplished crumbles to dust, at least for some time, in the wake of plaintive defeat.

Nonetheless, minute-by-minute, kick-by-kick, the trusty band of JCR football regulars watched with increasingly partisan excitement: who doesn’t love an underdog, especially an English one? Before long, even the dangling anvil of looming exams became trivial in the face of Fulham’s outrageous bid for a midweek Spanish conquest- 2 hours of tense sporting drama can provide a much-required distraction from academic demands, if only for its inimitable offer of sheer escapism: Forlan’s late dagger is plunged into JCR spectators across the city.

Fulham, we share your pain. Vicarious viewing is what football is all about, even when your supported team isn’t involved: exult with every goal and die with every defeat. Throw yourself headlong into the operatic theatre of the beautiful game- it’s well worth the emotional investment. Watching football is an under-valued antidote to the stresses of work, and one that will be in plentiful supply over the next few months; with a World Cup on the not-so-distant horizon, we can once again gorge ourselves on the tasty forbidden fruit of exam-season sport. Fingers crossed, then, that England’s South African progress doesn’t inflict too much damage on the Prelims and Finals performances of Oxford’s football-loving population. After all, let’s be honest: who’ll be revising once Rooney & Co. get rolling?

 

Oriel threatens library closure

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Oriel have threatened to restrict the College library opening hours in response to the surge of vandalism incidents that have taken place this week.
The damage includes several broken chairs and a “flagrant disregard for library regulations”.
Charles B. Watson of the Oriel Classics Departmemt wrote a letter to all JCR members, condemning the vandalism and the consumption of food and drink in the library, which is strictly forbidden under library regulations.
He has Urged anyone with information about the broken chairs to come forward.
He warned that, “If those responsible for the broken furniture do not come forward or if library regulations continue to be ignored, the Governing Body will take drastic action at its next meeting, Wednesday of 4th Week. The current proposal is to close the library from 10pm-7am.”
James Pickering, a third year, PPEist, said, “I think its fair for the College to act in this way. People have been taking trashy food into the library and stinking out the place.
“It just seems absurd for people to transgress the rules in this way and as far as I’m concerned there is no need for it. Of course it is a massive hindrance. I do know people who work in the late hours of the evening and will find it very difficult if the library is closed over night. But I can’t see any other way of getting people to stick to the rules, which I think are completely reasonable”
Nick Gallagher, a third year Classics and English student, said “Oriel’s library is open for 24 hours a day, this is obviously a tremendous resource.
“I would certainly find it an inconvenience if the library was closed overnight and my work would suffer as a result.”

Comedian booed off stage at ball

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Comedy rocker Mitch Benn was forced off stage by a hail of missiles at the Somerville-Jesus Ball last Saturday.
The bearded entertainer stopped mid-show to berate revellers for their behaviour, warning, “If anyone chucks one more thing, I’m off.” A drunken ball-goer then launched a bottle cap at the stage.
Benn duly left, to groans and boos from the crowd who had previously been enjoying his act. Mr Benn later tweeted, “Sorry how it ended but I hope you understand why I had to do that. “
Eyewitness James Waterson, of Jesus College, condemned the culprits. “The Ball Committee made a big effort to book [Benn] and I don’t blame him for leaving – he got the fee, we lost out: very good money for ten minutes’ work…the bottle cap throwers were tossers.”
Jesus JCR President Ross Evans was responsible for booking Mr Benn and also Stage Manager for his gig. Mr Evans defended Benn’s response, saying “you can’t blame him – he’s an artist. He’s not paid to have stuff thrown at him…the culprits should consider themselves lucky not to have been thrown out.”
Ball Vice President Jordan Clay claimed that it was not “the place of the committee to stop people getting drunk.”
However he also said, “It would have been better if we’d had some security set up.”
Ball Treasurer Joe Staines refused to say whether he had tried to withhold any of Mitch Benn’s fees to punish his early exit. However, Ball committee sources indicate that Mr Benn will receive the full amount for his performance despite not completing the show. A thank-you card is also planned.
Mitch Benn was unavailable for comment, and the culprits have not been identified.

Controversial Cardinal cancels

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Cardinal Brady has cancelled his planned visit to the Oxford University Newman Society this week.
Cardinal Sean Brady, the Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of All Ireland, announced his cancellation the day after Cherwell published an article entitled “‘Cover-up’ Cardinal to visit Oxford”.
He was due to deliver the termly Thomas More Lecture, celebrate Mass in Trinity College, and attend the Newman Society’s black-tie dinner, to be held in his honour at St Benet’s Hall on Wednesday 12th May.
The Newman Society is the Catholic Society of Oxford University. It is not officially known why Brady decided to cancel his visit, only five days before he was due to come.
Cardinal Brady is a controversial figure. He has repeatedly refused to resign as Cardinal despite legal challenges against him. He stands accused of covering up child sex abuse in the Church, by requiring underage victims to sign oaths swearing they would not discuss their abuse.
Brady’s office said, “As he continues a gradual return to normal duties following a short period of illness Cardinal Brady has, with deep regret, decided to cancel his proposed visit to Oxford.
“Cardinal Brady expressed the hope that he would be able to visit the members of the Oxford University Newman Society in due course and conveyed his good wishes and prayers for the work of the Society and the University, especially for those students preparing for examinations at this time.”
His lecture was due to be on the “Challenges Facing the Church in Ireland in the Twenty First Century”.
Conor Gannon, President of the Newman Society, said “I am personally disappointed that he cannot come as I felt it would be an excellent opportunity to hear how he intends to lead the Catholic Church in Ireland at this difficult time.
“Whether or not he should resign is not a matter for the Newman Society. We simply wished to provide him with the opportunity to apologise for the wrongdoings of the Church in the past and outline a way forward for the future.
“The Newman Society is aware of the sensitivity of the issue of child abuse in the Catholic Church. All those who have been affected by such appalling sins are in our prayers and we pray for reconciliation.”

£5 million gift to Oxford

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Oxford is to receive a donation of £5 million to strengthen its global health research networks with Asia, and with China in particular.
The donation from the Li Ka Shing Foundation will fund a series of partnerships, teaching and research projects that will see centres in China, Vietnam and Thailand become full partners in the University’s Asia Research Network.
Sir Ka Shing set up the foundation in 1980 to support activities in education, and medicine and healthcare. The Li Ka Shing-University of Oxford Global Health Programme will help develop the best responses to these global health challenges.
The donation will fund training in infectious disease research at Shantou University, and a number of medical students from Shantou University will be able to travel to Oxford for further medical training. There will also be opportunities for clinical scientists to undertake graduate degrees with the University of Oxford.

Tories and Labour triumph in Oxford

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Andrew Smith retained his seat in Oxford West in last week’s general election, beating the Liberal Democrat Steve Goddard by 4,581 votes.
The Liberal Democrat Dr Evan Harris lost his seat, which he has held for the last 13 years, to Nicola Blackwood of the Conservative Party in Oxford West and Abingdon.
Steven Goddard reflected on his loss to incumbent Andrew Smith, saying, “Well, I wish that my campaign had had access to the national injections of cash and resources that my opponent had from big business and the unions!”
The Conservatives gained 97 seats nationally, not enough to secure a majority. Instead a coalition has been formed with the Liberal Democrats after several days of post-election deal-making. Oxford East saw a swing on 4.1% from the Lib Dems to Labour.
The Green Party lost votes from 2005 in this seat, but UKIP and the Socialist Equality Party both gained votes. In Oxford West and Abingdon there was a swing of 6.9% from the Lib Dems to the Conservatives.

Violent week in Oxford

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This week has witnessed a surge in violent attacks and incidents across the city centre. Three separate events sparked fears that aggressive acts are becoming more commonplace in Oxford.
Blayne Ridgeway, a 22 year-old father, was stabbed in the heart at 3am outside the Que Pasa restaurant in Oxford city centre, at the top of Castle Street last Saturday morning. He died shortly afterwards at the John Radcliffe Hospital. A 16 year old teenager appeared at the Oxford Youth Court on Wednesday.
Thames Valley Police are also trying to trace a man who helped a teenager after she was sexually assaulted in Oxford city centre Thursday morning. An eighteen year old woman was walking along Magdalen Street East, near to the bus stops by Broad Street, when she was grabbed by an unknown man.
The woman screamed and a member of public intervened and the attacker ran away. The attacker was is in his twenties, with a pink or light red top and dark hair. A 25-year-old man has been arrested in connection with the incident and is being questioned by police.
Yet another investigation was launched on Wednesday, when a dead body was found in the River Isis at Folly Bridge. The body was identified as that of a male. He had been seen in town approximately an hour before his body was discovered.
The body was spotted by a member of the public in a blocked-off inlet of the River just behind Folly Bridge.
Police, fire crews and the ambulance service were present at the incident earlier on today.
Cherwell reporters on the scene spoke to Detective Inspector Morton who said, “We are treating this as an unexplained death. At the moment, we are looking at all the eventualities, which could include murder, accident or suicide. “
Will Harboard, a former Lincoln student who now works behind the bar at the Head of the River pub, said “I’m really surprised this happened just down the road from a police station. It’s pretty shocking.”
The body was found opposite Hertford accomodation. Harboard said, “There was a big group of Hertford students in the pub earlier who were talking about it. They did not believe that there was a dead body in the river, they thought someone had made it up”.
Sam Hawkins, a second year Hertford student, lives in Western Road, just next to where the body was found. He told Cherwell he was “astounded” to hear that dead body had been found so close to his house, and that it was “very unsavoury”.
“Someone was stabbed in central Oxford a few days ago, making this the second violent incident in a week. This is not a laughing matter, I feel very unsafe.”
Police are appealing for witnesses

Ox Hub moves in

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The Oxford Hub, the organization that acts as the focal point for the university’s charitable activities and volunteering, is seeking to acquire property on Turl Street to be used as its central venue.
The building will be used to “house a cafe-bar-restaurant, hold events, incubate projects, provide training for volunteers, be a venue for like-minded charitably-inclined people to hang out, and a place where students can come to find out more about the issues that really matter to the local, national and international communities.”
Although Hannah MacDiarmid, OxHub President, sent out a message earlier in the week saying that the charity group is planning on buying the new venue, it has now been confirmed that they are looking to obtain the lease instead.
If OxHub is successful in its bid, the first floor of the venue will be dedicated to catering facilities, providing “high quality, ethically produced, affordable food.”
There are plans to include breakfast service, lunch, café service and evening dining and drinking. The rest of the venue space is to be used as “overspill for the cafe, providing informal workspace during the day” which would transition into a lounge bar in the evening.
O’Boyle is hoping that the revenue from these catering facilities “would generate the necessary funds” to pay for the lease.
“We really do think this will raise awareness of the Hub’s work and hope it will significantly improve town-gown relations by increasing the number of student volunteers involved with our projects and therefore making a positive contribution to the local community.
“We’re very excited about the venture so are doing all we can to put a winning bid together.”
Students have also expressed their enthusiasm for the idea. Claire Wright, a second-year student at Univ believes that this is “the most exciting Oxford project I’ve heard of yet.”
A microwebsite has been set up in order to promote the project, as well as a facebook group.

Small entertainer still at large

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The victim of violent assault and theft was left lying on the ground at the St Hugh’s Ball in the early hours of last Sunday morning. The attacker, who was wearing a top hat, is believed to have been dressed as a juggler.

The sequence of events leading up to the assault begun in jest, but took an ominous turn when the student, who wished to remain anonymous, was hit so forcefully that she was knocked to the ground. Following this, her phone was allegedly snatched by the same stranger who had just hit her.

The student explained what happened: “We were standing near to the stranger and my friends thought it would be funny to take his top hat. It was done instantaneously, in a jovial manner.

“As soon as my friends had ran away with the hat, the man aggressively turned on me. I told him I did not know who the other girls were who had taken his hat. I just said this because I was scared of his aggressive manner.”

It was after this that the alleged assault took place. The student said, “I was holding my phone in my hand and he tried to wrestle it from me. Suddenly I felt some kind of hit, which knocked me to the ground. I was completely in shock as he ran off with my phone. By the time I had picked myself up, he had gone.”

The assault took place at around 2.30am in the main marquee, while the Queen tribute band was playing. After the assault, the student was taken by the security guard to receive first aid. She has subsequently reported the incident to the police who are treating it as “snatch theft”.

It is believed that the stranger was much too old to be a student. The victim of the assault recalled that her assailant had a shaved head with stubble, and was of particularly small stature.

The other distinguishing feature about the stranger was his large top hat. The ball committee are currently in possession of this hat, which they are treating as a vital piece of evidence in their search for the stranger.

The hat was handed to Eleanor Hale, President of the Ball Committee, at the end of the evening. Hale said, “I think it is really unlikely for the mugger to have been another student. He may have been a gatecrasher, but the fact that he had a hat – the one that the juggler was wearing – means he may well have been one of the jugglers.”

The student had been working at the St Hugh’s Ball as an assistant supervisor at the main stage until 11pm. Jeff Pole was in charge of the staff on the night, and has been involved in identifying the culprit. He said, “Quite a few people on the ball committee think it could be a juggler. We want to track down who the culprit was, and we are definitely going to follow this up.”

Zoe Burges, who was in charge of entertainment on the ball committee, urged caution in jumping to conclusions. She said, “The hat is very similar to that of our entertainment people. The problem is that anyone could have been wearing the hat – an audience member perhaps.”
She confirmed that the committee had been in contact with various entertainment companies in an attempt to identify the mystery attacker.

A spokesperson from Thames Valley Police said, “The incident was reported to us on Monday the 10th April. We were notified of an incident which occurred on Sunday 9th April at 2.30am at St Hugh’s College on St Margarets Road.

“The offender became aggressive and is believed to have hit the aggrieved, knocking her to the ground, and taking her mobile phone. We are treating the incident as robbery, specifically as snatch theft.

“We certainly will be launching an investigation into finding the culprit, and we will pursue all avenues of enquiry.”

Speaking of the ball in general, Eleanor Hale said, “Everything went really well, there was a really positive atmosphere. There was a bit of jostling at the tea party, and a few people were ejected due to drunkenness, but this violent mugging was a completely isolated incident.”

 

 

"Oxford is still not Detroit"

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A student from Christ Church suffered injuries and temporary memory loss after being mugged on his way back to college after a night out at The Bridge last week.

Benjamin Anderson, an finalist Engineer, was attacked as he was walking past Hythe Bridge in the early hours of Friday 7th May.

“I was walking alone back to college after leaving The Bridge. The only thing I recall is the flash of a face, and I don’t remember anything until I was back at the porters’ lodge at my college,” said Anderson.

“I then spent the night at the A&E Department at the John Radcliffe Hospital until about 9am, where I had CT scans and an x-ray.”

Thames Valley Police confirmed that the incident took place at around 2am. A spokesperson said, “A man was assaulted near Hythe Bridge as he was walking towards George Street from Park End Street.

“The victim had his phone and wallet stolen, and suffered a temporary memory loss. He sustained cuts to his face, swelling to his eye area and has a chipped tooth.”

Thames Valley Police are still looking for witnesses to help identify the assailant. Anderson “recalls that the attacker was a white male, about 6 feet tall and had short hair.” Anderson said that he cannot remember exactly what the man looked like, and that the police are currently looking at CCTV footage in order to try and identify him.

“It’s all a bit hazy, the only thing I remember is him moving.”

Anderson said that he was “not traumatized, but definitely pissed off. This is not something I would have expected to happen to me, having been in Oxford for three years. It’s not like you shouldn’t go out at all, but it is important to keep your wits about you.”

Following the incident, Ian Watson, the Christ Church Junior Censor, circulated an e-mail to students, suggesting precautions in order to avoid being attacked when out at night.

The e-mail read: “Some of you will already know that another Junior Member of Christ Church was attacked last night, on leaving The Bridge in the early hours.

Although, fortunately, his injuries are less serious than they at first seemed, the attack seems to be have been vicious.”

After highlighting the need to be careful when out late at night, and saying that it is better to leave in groups rather than alone, the e-mail warned that “size matters, but in a perverse way.”

Watson said, “Across the country, large males are the most likely group to be attacked, because they seem worthy targets to inebriated male assailants (by far the most common category).

“It’s no use thinking that if you are large and sporty you will be able to defend yourself. You won’t, because the attack will probably be over before you have time to react. Oxford is still not Detroit, but there is a need for great care nonetheless.”

One student told Cherwell, “I never think twice about walking home alone at night. I always think of Oxford as such a safe place, regardless of the time of day”.

Dani Quinn, OUSU Vice President for Welfare, circulated a message to JCRs urging caution to students. “Students are one of the most likely groups to fall victim to crime. It’s easy to avoid trouble if you know what you’re doing. Don’t be a statistic: take basic steps to avoid a bad ending to a great night.”