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Jesus survive as LMH fail to convert

LMH: 12, Jesus: 12

On a terribly wet and cold Tuesday afternoon, it has to be said that the quality of  rugby put on show by LMH and Jesus in their 12-12 draw mirrored the weather conditions, for it was an undisciplined and technically poor affair.

This was perhaps to be expected with neither side having yet won a game this season and with both looking at almost certain relegation into college rugby’s third tier. What was perhaps not to be expected, however, was the captivating and tense nature of the match in which both sides scored two tries.

The game began with both sides simply trading mistakes with dubious territorial kicking by both number 10s and poor rucking making a very scrappy opening to the game. Both sides should have got on the score board early on but were denied by their own poor passing, handling and finishing skills. This was shown perfectly when with thirty minutes on the clock, a lovely Jesus backs move pierced the LMH defence leaving the fly half Mike Morton in front of the sticks and with a simple drop goal there to be taken. Yet his dire attempt didn’t even manage to get off the ground, leaving the scores rooted at 0-0.

At this stage it appeared as though the scores would stay at 0-0 for the whole of the first half.

However with only a minute of the first half left, the LMH defence fell asleep. After a good turnover by the Jesus scrum half in the LMH 22, Jesus spread the ball quickly out wide with good fast hands giving them an overlap in the corner, leaving the winger Sam Calderwood to touch down. This nice backs move was then topped off with a superb conversion by Mike Morton, making the score 7-0.

This score fired Jesus into action and they piled the pressure onto the disheartened LMH straight from the second half kick off. This pressure immediately told, with the Jesus number 14 skillfully moving the ball out wide, taking advantage of the narrow defence of LMH. A good, quick ball then led to a Jesus Maul only inches from the try line from which the hooker Carl Turpie easily broke free and touched down for his side’s second try of the game, 12-0.

The situation then got even worse for LMH, with three bad injuries to their pack resulting in them playing a centre as a prop for the last twenty minutes, forcing them into uncontested scrums. Yet it was this depleted LMH pack that began to try and force a comeback for their team.

They hit the Jesus defence hard with strong straight running and  vastly improved rucking, both of which gave them an attacking platform. This huge effort then paid off when the LMH number 8 Dom Rae ran hard and straight at the Jesus defence, handing off the first tackler then superbly running through two despairing Jesus tackles, touching down for a try under the posts. This was then duly converted by the full back George Webb to make the score 12-7 and to set up a tense finale.

As LMH began to believe that they could record their first victory of the season. Perhaps eager to score a try, in a moment of foolhardiness the Jesus full back positioned himself far too high up the pitch. This meant that an intended LMH clearance from their 22 ended up landing in a huge space behind the Jesus backline. The ensuing footrace for the ball was between the LMH centre Ben Hilary and a lacklustre Jesus back rower and there was always going to be one winner. After gaining over ten yards on the Jesus lock, Hilary managed to kick the ball on towards the try line and the winger Mbombo Simpungwe-Kaoma then duly touched down under the posts.

So the scores were level and with three minutes remaining in this gritty match, the LMH full back, Webb had a conversion under the posts to win the match. Nerves however got the best of Webb and he hooked his conversion wide and so the score amazingly remained 12-12.

It was a Hollywood ending to a match that lacked glamour and skill but possessed great effort and determination on behalf of both sides. Both of whom, will be hugely relieved to have finally got something out of a rugby game this season and will be hoping that they will soon manage to get a win.

Hope rises out of the Ashes

Four years ago, England’s Ashes triumph was not the springboard to an era of dominance, but proved the prologue to a period of prolonged mediocrity.

As they embark on their long tour of South Africa – they don’t fly back until January 19th – Andrew Strauss will be determined to build on the Ashes win. It would be a depressing indictment of English cricket if beating a side now ranked fourth in the world 2-1 at home represented a glass ceiling.

By any measure, the series in South Africa appears an even sterner challenge. For all their perennial choking in ICC limited-overs tournaments, the Proteas are ranked the best Test side in the world. Though their only series of the year so far saw them lose at home to Australia, in 2008 they recorded a formidable set of results: drawing in India; winning in England, and seeing off Michael Vaughan in the process; and finally a famous series triumph down under.

However, the Tests do not commence until December 16th, by which time the sides will have contested five one-day internationals and two Twenty20s. England have almost invariably been something of a joke in the shorter formats of the game since reaching the 1992 World Cup final. New depths were plummeted in the 6-1 home thrashing by Australia, but then something happened.

England went to South Africa for the Champions Trophy perceived as no-hopers, and ended up reaching only their second semi-final in 12 global tournaments dating back to 1992. But more importantly the rhetoric from the camp was for once matched by deeds. England pledged to play a new brand of fearless cricket, after embarrassing themselves in consistently scraping to 220 against Australia. And, in two upset victories before reality kicked in, they managed it.

The triumph over South Africa was brought about by what Andrew Strauss called the best England ODI batting performance of his career.

While England talk bravely of the need to hit sixes in limited-overs games, It seems astonishing that the man who plundered six en route to a brilliant 98 in that game has since been dispensed with. Owais Shah may not be the world’s greatest fielder or runner, but he is England’s highest run-scorer in ODIs since the 2007 World Cup. No one else in England, save for Kevin Pietersen (and Marcus Trescothick), can play such destructive innings.

South Africa emphatically start all three series as favourites. In Smith, Jacques Kallis, Jp Duminy and Dale Steyn, they have a quartet of exceptional players. England’s best hope lies in blunting Steyn’s 90mph yorkers, which could then expose a bowling attack that is over-dependant upon him – Makhaya Ntini is ageing and Morne Morkel too erratic. Then there is Ab de Villiers to contend with: good enough to have represented South Africa in several sports, he settled on cricket and averaged 75 over the six Tests with Australia last winter.

The tour promises some intriguing cricket – as England-South Africa clashes invariably do – and will provide a real gauge for England’s progress under the Strauss-Flower team. Losing the ODIs 3-2 and drawing the Tests would constitute an impressive result.

For even this to be possible, the onus will be on two men with South African connections – the current and former skippers, Andrew Strauss and Kevin Pietersen. The two players of proven class in England’s batting line-up, both enjoyed extraordinary tours during England’s visit five years ago. If they can come close to repeating those displays, England should be able to score a lot of runs.

Women’s Institute goes to Uni

The Women’s Institute (WI) has experienced a year of heightened student interest, with the establishment of first two University branches and requests to set up a branch in Oxford.
The WI, which is an organisation established to provide women with educational opportunities, has been already established at Goldmith’s University and King’s college London.

There have been many positive responses to this news in Oxford. A representative of Oxford Women in Politics, Marta Szczerba, stated that she is “positive about the idea of Women’s Institute cooperating with Universities around the UK” and praised the fact that “Women’s Institute has been a force in campaigning against women’s violence”. Other current national campaigns include ‘Women and Climate Change Campaign’ and ‘Care Not Custody’ for the mentally ill.

This support was echoed by Cynthia Chang, a DPhil student at Christ Church, and a representative of Females in Science, Engineering and Technology. Chang said that women often “need a network” and that there would probably be a “significant proportion” of women students at Oxford who would be interested in “producing things with their own hands”.

However, some students were less enthused. Rachel Harrison, of Christ Church College, pointed out that the organisation carried the negative stereotype of “being for old people”. Sara Stafford, also of Christ Church, thought that it was “not a good idea” and probably “wouldn’t be very popular”. She went on to say that she felt Oxford “has enough volunteering groups”.

Many Oxford students have agreed that the opportunity to engage in activities such as learning how to make tie-dyed sustainable shopping bags and how to knit iPod cases fills a niche not currently occupied by the various clubs and societies in Oxford. Angharad Scott, St Anne’s College, enthusiastically supported the idea of an Oxford group, and said that she thought it sounded “really cool” as long as it had nothing to do with “tea towels and cabbages”.
While the image of the WI may not fit in with that of the typical student society, India Volkers, the founder and President of Goldsmith’s WI, emphasised the benefits of membership. “Starting a WI has meant that my friends and I are able to learn useful practical skills that we may not otherwise have been taught.”

The President of the National Federation of Women’s Institutes argued that getting involved with the WI could provide women with key skills pointing out, “students are under increasing pressure these days to have additional skills as well as their degree, and the WI offers women the chance to learn new skills that they wouldn’t normally have access to.”

 

OULS collects £150,000 in library fines

Oxford’s departmental libraries made almost £150,000 from library fines last year, Cherwell has learnt.

Oxford University libraries raked in £146,085 from late returns in the academic year ending July 2009. This figure does not take into account the money raised by college libraries.

Oxford University Library Services (OULS) operate a standardised fining system in the majority of their libraries, charging 20p per day for standard loans, £1 per day for short loans and 50p per hour for overnight loans.
These tariffs do not apply to the Continuing Education Library, Health Care Libraries, Latin American Centre Library or the Said Business School. Loan periods also vary between libraries.

James Shaw, Library Services Manager at the Radcliffe Science Library explained that the income gained from library fines is not used for “a specific purpose as such; they contribute towards the general running of OULS.” The maximum fine for a book from an OULS library is generally £10, yet many students reported higher figures, with one student complaining of a total of £160 owed for lost volumes.

“There needs to be some sort of incentive for students to return books on time”

College income from library fines varies greatly. St. Peter’s collected £2756.08 in fines last year, while St. Anne’s raised £650 and Somerville received £430. The highest possible fine at St Peter’s is £20.
Some libraries, including Lincoln, Queen’s, Brasenose, Wadham and Jesus do not charge students any library fines. Jesus Librarian Sarah Cobbold explained that the fact that fines are not charged “is not born of philanthropy, rather of pragmatism.” One Lincoln student agreed that the system was effective, “Lincoln library doesn’t fine but puts you on a blacklist instead, relying on peoples’ consciences…and it works!”

Other consciences are not so clear. One third year Wadhamite admitted that since the college does not have a Librarian present at all times and does not charge fines, students “just take [books] without checking them out and keep them forever, so half our books are missing.”
The variation in cross-college attitudes towards library fines has frustrated some students, with one third year commenting, “Fines should be standard across colleges. If lots of libraries can survive without charging fines, why does mine have them?”

Jonny Medland, OUSU VP for Access and Academic Affairs agreed that fairness needed to be an important consideration, “There needs to be some sort of incentive for students to return books on time and proportionate library fines can have a role to play in this. It’s important that fines are capped, so that students can’t rack up huge bills if their books are a few days overdue. Colleges should look at what they do in this area and see if it’s truly effective – if some colleges are far harsher than others then it’s a problem.”

Colleges that do not operate a fining system can still charge for lost books. Worcester charged £217 for lost books last year, while Lincoln collected a total of £42. St. Anne’s estimates the cost of unreturned books to the library at around £100 each year. Susan Griffin, Hertford College Librarian said, “I am afraid I don’t know [the amount] because students steal so many.” Harris Manchester Library claims one student still owes them £600 worth of books.

The Oxford Union charges 10p a day for overdue books and £1 a day for overdue audiovisual items, with a limit on both of £10. If a member fails to return a book after being contacted twice by the Union, they are banned from borrowing from the library, their name is posted on the library notice board and their Union membership could be suspended.

Libraries will usually waive fines in extenuating circumstances. Most cite illness as a valid reason for a fine to be waived and some colleges take examinations into account. David Smith, Librarian at St. Anne’s College said, “People actually taking exams when books fall due are exempt from fines.”

James Smith of OULS pointed out that around 60% of library users are taking exams every Trinity so “we can’t treat them all as special cases.” He pointed out that some libraries offer extended loans during exam periods. 74% of students surveyed by Cherwell don’t think students should be allowed to return books late during exams, many pointing out that examination periods are a crucial time for everyone to have access to books.

 

Trial of alternative degree classifications

Universities are trialling a new certificate giving a detailed breakdown of grades to graduates, which could eventually replace traditional degree classifications.

Students studying Biology, English, Accounting and Creative Art at eighteen universities across the UK are trialling the Higher Education Achievement Report (HEAR). Upon graduation, they will receive a report detailing their results in all modules, as well as a summary of other activities undertaken at university.

Currently almost two thirds of graduates achieve a first class or upper second class (2:1) degree, leading to complaints that it is difficult to distinguish between them. In 2008, for example, 95.8% of Oxford History finalists attained a 2:1 or a first class degree.

Oxford University is already taking its own steps towards giving graduates more information, working to provide full transcripts for those who started their courses from 2008. A spokesperson said that the university “will consider future developments carefully, in the light of the results of the pilot study.”

OUSU’s VP for Access and Academic Affairs, Jonny Medland, said that HEARs should only be used if they benefit students. “Any decision about further expanding Higher Education Achievement Reports will have to come after we see how trialling them has worked. Like any other University, Oxford should always be working to introduce fairer methods of assessment and to improve the student experience.”

The trial was prompted by the results of a wide-ranging investigation into the degree classification system by Professor Robert Burgess, Vice-Chancellor of Leicester University. His report’s recommendations were largely against a radical replacement system for the current honours degree classification, which is well-respected worldwide. However, it did call for a system which gave employers more information about graduates.

Aaron Porter, Vice President (Higher Education)of the NUS, welcomed the trial. “It is clear that the current degree classification system is no longer fit for purpose; students deserve a more detailed acknowledgment of their overall achievement from their time in higher education.”

Nehaal Bajwa, a Balliol PPE finalist, was concerned that a HEAR would cause too much focus on academic work. “There won’t be that 10% leeway between getting a 2:1 and a 2:2 as every percentage point will count for more.”

However, some students have questioned whether HEARs will help employers choose the right candidate. There are concerns that instead of making it easier for employers to judge candidates, HEARs will make the drawn-out recruitment process even less efficient. Currently many employers do not consider applications of graduates with a 2:2 or below.

Tom Nicholson, a finalist at Magdalen, said, “This no doubt delights those who are keen to see ex-poly hairdressing students become corporate lawyers, as it obfuscates traditional (and, dare I say, pretty indicative) associations between top grades at top universities and important career-related attributes, such as intelligence. In practice employers will still look for ways to come to snap judgements within whatever system one introduces – and they’ll still hire the same candidates.”

 

Balliol plays with fire (extinguishers) and loses bop

Balliol’s Nintendo bop on Saturday was cancelled as a result of students tampering with fire extinguishers.

The Dean called off the event as a disciplinary measure after several extinguishers on the main site were fiddled with. A total of five fire extinguishers have been damaged since the start of term. Three of the items were found on one staircase, and two on another.

Not all the fire extinguishers were actually set-off. One was discovered simply with its security tag, pin and dust cover removed. The damage could cost up to £350 to repair.

The Dean set a deadline of Friday of 5th week at 9am for someone to own up to damaging the fire extinguishers. When this deadline passed, the Dean sent out a further email cancelling the bop.

One Balliol student commented, “It’s a bit stupid that the whole college has to miss out on bops, which are mental fun, just because some muppet decided to be boring and tamper with fire extinguisher tags. Given that it’s either cancellation of bops or a blanket fine on the JCR, I think the former is fair, but still highly antisocial. The search for the sly one is on.”

Iain Large, Balliol’s JCR President, was supportive of college’s decision. “The Dean informed students on Thursday 5th week that the bop would be cancelled if no one came forward about setting off fire extinguishers. I had previously sent an email warning against the misuse of extinguishers, also stating that the bop was at risk. No one came forward, and so the bop was cancelled.

“I and the JCR committee have been entirely supportive of the Dean’s decision, which was one of the few options available to deterring this sort of behaviour. My reaction to the people responsible is far less sympathetic, as their childishness has put the JCR at risk of discipline in the first place, and damaged its reputation generally.”

Sebastian Fassam, Balliol’s Entz rep commented, “It was my responsibility to inform people that the bop was cancelled. It’s an unfortunate incident. People are quite annoyed about the bop being cancelled, but most people think it’s not an unjust punishment. At Balliol, we normally take pride that we can be trusted to do things on our own. We don’t have much CCTV, especially not in the corridors, but perhaps things will have to be alarmed in future.” He added, “I don’t think there’s any chance those responsible will own up.”

William Browne, another Entz rep added, “Sadly, those responsible clearly don’t care about the rest of the JCR as no-one owned up. The theme was Nintendo and now my Bowser outfit will have to stay in the wardrobe for another year.”

Large commented, “It is, of course, sad that everyone in the JCR had to suffer for one or two individuals’ idiocy, and even more sad that no-one felt prepared to come forward for the sake of everyone else. However, I am hopeful that this has highlighted the severity of the incident, encourage a bit more maturity, as well as preventing it from happening again.”

 

New College Mound out-of-bounds

New College’s most famous attraction, the Mound, has been closed to students this week following a health and safety report.

Last Thursday Michael Burden, the New College Dean, sent an email to all students stating, “The College has received a routine health and safety report which has questioned the safety of the Mound steps. The College is considering how best to respond to the matters raised, but until a decision has been reached, the College has decided that Mound should be closed.”

The Mound is a square, four-sided hillock in the College’s Fellows’ Garden which rises around 10 metres high. Three of the sides are covered with dense shrubbery, while steep stone steps rise up the front side, leading to a paved area at the top which is hidden by trees from those below. It was built in the 1500s from the waste material left over from building work on the College, and once boasted cannon at the top.

However it was the steps, which are worn and very slippery when wet, that were criticised by the health and safety report commissioned by New College. The Dean told Cherwell that the report had “raised a number of questions” adding, “The College cannot see a quick or easy way to respond to these concerns, and while it is working out a strategy to deal with the matter, feels that it is in everyone’s best interests to close it.”

When asked how he planned to tackle students breaking the new rule he said, “The Dean does not deal in ‘sanctions’ per se, but will consider reported cases on their merits.”
Students of New College who climb the old city wall which runs around the College risk being sent down, and many were afraid that similar measures would be imposed for those found climbing the Mound.

Tom Scott, New College’s JCR President commented, “It’s hard to overstate the importance of the mound. It’s so much more than a loveable hill; it’s a part of who we are, a symbol of New College’s greatness. We hope this is resolved quickly.”

One Second Year, Jon Strang, said that he was outraged by the news. “This is ridiculous,” he said, “I love the mound! Health and safety has gone too far.”

The Mound has been the scene of many adventures for New Collegians. Aside from the traditional matriculation and graduation photographs, in the last year it has witnessed late-night romantic trysts, drinking society initiations and nudity, as those having performed exceptionally badly at pool in the College bar are forced to perform a trousers-down lap of the Mound.

A number of more dangerous incidents are also known to have taken place recently. One student broke a tooth falling down the side last year and two guests at a conference taking place in the College in September had to be taken to accident & emergency department following Mound-related injuries.

Tourists have never been allowed onto the Mound, but it is considered one of the main features of a tour of the College. Guides often tell the (untrue) story of how the Mound was constructed as a Aztec burial site, and show groups the game of ‘clapping at the Mound’, which involves standing in front of it and clapping, then listening as the Mound appears to clap back.

Steven McGlynn, the New College JCR Food, Housing and Amenities Rep, said that students should not be too concerned. “These reports happen all the time and they’re always slightly ridiculous. In the past they have even recommended that we put a chairlift up there to cater for any disabled students.”

 

Student fined £80 for dropping match stick

A student at Oxford University was forced to pay £80 for dropping a match on the pavement as Oxford’s ‘Cleaner, Greener City Centre’ campaign has kicked off.

Demetrios Samouris, a postgraduate student at Magdalen, described the fine as “quite harsh” but admitted, “I can’t really be that angry. I do understand what they are doing and I guess all rubbish has to be treated equally, whether it is a matchstick or a sandwich wrapper.”

As part of the campaign to clean up the streets of Oxford, Environmental Enforcement officers from Oxford City Council, Street Wardens and Police Community Support Officers (PCSOs) can issue on-the spot fines to anyone discovered dropping litter, throwing away cigarette butts or committing acts of graffiti. Failure to pay the fine can result in further fines of up to £2,500.

It is estimated that cleaning the city centre currently costs £1 million per year.

Councillor John Tanner, Board Member for the campaign commented, “Everyone’s getting together to make Oxford city centre even cleaner. We want people to stop dropping litter and make the city centre a no go area for litter, chewing gum and cigarette butts. No-one likes to see messy streets.”

Many students are in favour of the plans. “Initiatives like this help bring environmental action closer to home. They remind us that moving towards a safer, cleaner world isn’t just about polar bears, guilt or banner drops, but about protecting our communities and making them more pleasant to live in,” said one student.

Oliver Richards, a 2nd year St Anne’s undergraduate, thinks it is outrageous that the streets have been allowed to reach the situation they are in. “I think it is really important for the streets to be clean in Oxford. The reputation of the city is based around a prestigious University that attracts the best students; students who would be discouraged from applying should our city be covered in an elephantine amount of mess.”

The Oxford Pedestrians Association is also supporting the campaign. In their view, many people are put off walking the streets of Oxford due to the filthiness of the streets, harming local businesses.

Chairman of the group, Paul Cullen argues, “Litter on the streets is becoming a deterrent to some people to even go out.”

A spokesperson for the University of Oxford commented, “The University is aware of the Cleaner, Greener Oxford Campaign and is fully supportive of the City Council’s efforts to clean up Oxford. We urge all members of the University to dispose of their litter responsibly.”

 

Oxford applications soar

Oxford University received a record number of applications this year, with the majority of additional hopefuls applying from the state sector.

The University received 17,085 applications, compared with 15,277 last year. The extra 1,808 included 1,110 more applicants from UK state schools than were received in 2008, with 399 more independent school and 299 more from other, mainly international, students.

Of the UK students that applied, 63.6% of the total were from state schools and 36.4% from independent schools.

Mike Nicholson, Director of Undergraduate Admissions at Oxford University was enthusiastic about the figures “This is great news. We have worked hard to ensure that all students with the potential to succeed at Oxford apply, regardless of their background. I believe we can now say that this work is beginning to bear fruit. We have had a 17% increase in state-educated applicants this year, which suggests that our efforts to challenge stereotypes and mythology about Oxford are having an impact.”

Jonny Medland’s OUSU’s VP for access and academic affairs agreed, “It’s great to see such a large increase in applications to Oxford for the second year in a row. The work which the university, colleges and the Target Schools campaign do is invaluable in breaking down myths about Oxford and hopefully our hard work is now being reflected in the numbers. Our work now needs to continue – these figures show we can make a difference and how important it is that student-led access schemes continue to enjoy the enthusiasm and dedication of current undergraduates here in Oxford.”

Nicholson added, “The increase in the number of highly qualified applicants does create challenges. But we are confident our rigorous selection process meets these challenges by using a range of measures to select the very best candidates from the very good.”

Carys Roberts, JCR access officer at University college, commented, “This year’s applications show that access should still be at the top of the university’s agenda, as despite a 63.6% rate of applications from the maintained sector, acceptance rates fail to reach a similar level every year. Oxford should be doing more to improve the acceptance rate, but this does not necessarily have to amount to social engineering. Candidates from the independent sector are often at an advantage at interview because they are used to similar situations, know what to expect and have experience of demonstrating their argumentation abilities.”

Daniel Webb, a student at Worcester College added that state school applicants might be deterred from applying due to stereotypical perceptions of Oxford. “Despite the application statistics, my personal experience in visiting state schools shows that certain myths which put them off Oxford still prevail. These myths seem to be self-perpetuating, partly through the media, and therefore I think Oxford will always have a social responsibility to dispel them. To this end, Worcester College regularly goes on school visits as well as regularly welcoming schools for tours with question and answer sessions; it also participates in the FE Access Initiative.”

Joe Staines, Jesus JCR’s access and careers officer, argued that there was still more work to be done, “The University does a lot of good outreach, but could of course be doing more. The principal difference seems to stem from a greater expectation for Oxbridge applications at independent schools, so the impetus is really with state schools in that respect, and comes from a wider problem of insufficient provision for talented young people.”

 

Ken Livingstone: Boris, the Beeb and Me

As I dine with Ken Livingstone, in the Randolph hotel, courtesy of the Union, I am struck by his forthrightness, a prominent feature of his character. Indeed, as the Union president-elect arrives, Ken quips, ‘Every time I see a Union president, I can’t help but think of Boris.’
His loathing for the current Mayor of London is palpable and it’s not surprising that he gives a scathing response when asked whether Boris is performing his mayoral duties well. ‘Oh piss poor basically. For Boris, this is a stepping stone to the premiership and therefore instead of doing what mayors need to do, which is take risks and gamble, he’s going to shut everything down, do the absolute minimum and take lots of photo opportunities. He spends more time on a photo shoot with Kelly Brook than chairing the Waste and Recycling Board.’

However, Ken and Boris do see more eye to eye on the amnesty for illegal immigrants in the UK. While Boris is in favour of granting an amnesty for those who have been living here illegally for more than five years, Ken supports an immediate amnesty for all illegal immigrants. He praises the contribution of immigrants to our society, ‘Immigration is vital for London and New York, in order to keep them dynamic economies. The main reason why London is the only city or region within Europe that matches American levels of productivity and competitiveness, is because it’s the most open to immigrants.’

But will this policy simply encourage more illegal immigration? He’s pragmatic, ‘Well, who knows. We’ve got somewhere between a quarter to a half illegals in London. They’re not paying tax, they’re exploited often by employers because they’re illegal, and it’s just an injustice. Your best bet is to give an amnesty to everyone – let them start paying tax, make sure they’re able to access English as second language classes and then put in place as you declare an amnesty, a system that you actually think would work and be fair.’

‘Blair was so far up the fundament of Bush, only the soles of his feet were visible’

London is the hub for protests over ethical and environmental issues. However, I ask him whether he thinks the police are trying to clamp down on this culture of activism, demonstrated for example by the death of Ian Tomlinson in the G20 protests.

Ken emphasises the important role that the mayor plays in directing the police. ‘We know that Boris wrote, ‘These protestors are like the Orcs of Mordor coming to destroy our city.’ Now if that was the line he was giving to the police, because the Commissioner and his seniors aren’t coming out ignorant, the message does filter down. I think Boris’ broad view is that no one should be allowed to protest against any policies unless he approves of it.’
Ken was refused permission to appear on EastEnders to promote a recycling campaign when he was still mayor. However, his TV hugging rival Boris, made his debut on the soap last month. Ken attributes this difference in treatment to the prejudices that the BBC hold against him. He declares that there are elements within the BBC that are ‘very pro-Boris’ and the coverage of BBC London during the mayoral contest was ‘horrendously biased’.

He doesn’t buy into the impartial ethos that the BBC claims to uphold. ‘An organisation, which is, what, 50,000 people, is not going to have one corporate identity ideology. You can’t say the BBC is liberal conservative; it’s so big, the different wings within it will have prejudices and they balance out. I think if anything the BBC is too respectable and under its current leadership, it’s been pretty spineless in not broadcasting the appeal for Palestinians after the war in Gaza. Even more bizarre was the decision not to broadcast the concert on climate change on grounds that it was partisan.’

Nicknamed ‘Red Ken’ by the newspapers, he is unbothered by this allusion to his alleged communist inclinations. ‘It was The Sun and it was a way in which they could imply I was a communist without me suing them. It became a term of affection, and there’s actually a Sikh temple in Southall where the opening plaque says, ‘Opened by Red Ken Livingstone.’ They thought it was my name because it was prefixed on everything they had ever read about me.’
When he was suspended from office for four weeks after comparing a Jewish journalist to a concentration camp guard, Ken claimed he had been the victim of a 24-year hate campaign by newspapers such as the Daily Mail and the Evening Standard. He believes the media is guilty of trivialisation. ‘Each year that passes, even in good papers like the Financial Times, the Guardian and The Independent, there’s less news and more opinion. News is expensive to collect. When you get to the comics, there’s nothing in them at all.’

So is he disillusioned with the media? ‘Disillusioned would be the wrong term. Angry would be a better one. I think they’ve failed their responsibility to the public, which is to inform.’

Tony Blair is another irksome figure for Ken and he doesn’t believe that the former prime minister should lead Europe. ‘He has a real problem, he didn’t join the Euro, we didn’t join Schengen, he spent all his time so far up the fundament of George Bush, only the soles of his feet were still visible, so he’s most probably not a unifying force. Better we should have some dull Belgium bureaucrat who no one has ever heard of. Whoever represents a trading block of 500 million people, with our access to wealth, will get access in China and America.’

As for Labour itself, Ken is unsure whether the party can win the general election. ‘It’s impossible to say. Although they’ve got huge downsides at the moment, the one thing they’ve got going for them is on the central issue on how rapidly you cut public spending to rebalance the budget. Cameron and Osborne look as though they’re happy to make cuts that even Thatcher wouldn’t dare. I think they’re a pair of nasty little men and they’re going to make it a very much nastier country. If people can pick up on that, then Labour’s got a chance.’

Ken is determined to succeed Boris as mayor and he explains why London is special to him, ‘The way we coped with the terrorist attack on 7th July 2005; not a single Londoner attacked another. In many parts of the world, communal violence would have killed more people than the original bombs and everyone just stood together. I grew up in a city where there’s a very homogenous culture and it’s very dull. London is just the most amazing city to be in, in terms of the mix of peoples and the cultures…and as I have discovered, you can spend your entire life never learning to drive.’

Now for the hottest political question of the year, which Brown, Cameron and Clegg have tackled: What is your favourite biscuit? True to his frank nature with no Brownesque dithering, he replies, ‘It’s a sort of a HobNob but it’s oat-based and milk chocolate.’