Chris Baraniuk joins the 'cultured' crowdsYou might think that an afternoon trip to the Louvre in Paris would be a pretty tranquil outing. Have a browse of a couple of rooms, grab a bite to eat and heave a long sigh of artsy satisfaction. Alas, when I visited the museum last December I got something else entirely.

With free admission and terrible, terrible weather outside, the Louvre became more like Primark during the January sales. But more than that – a cathedral-like Primark, one that stretches far beyond the limits of your imagination. It was a combination of the swirling crowds of people from all corners of the world and the sheer size of the place that got in the way of a quiet visit. Paintings the size of houses hung dominantly over onlookers and were themselves dwarfed by the bewildering size of the galleries in which much of the artwork is housed. Louis XIV’s old pad was clearly a ridiculously excessive place to call home, but as a museum it’s even more stupefying because it would be impossible to take in just one of its eight sprawling departments in a single day. Visitor maps and leaflets boast of the ’35,000 works of art’ and the ’60,000 square metres of exhibition space’, but when you let all of Paris and her frantically sight-hungry tourists in for free on a rainy day, such excess becomes problematic. Hoards of people swarmed round the main attractions, thousands of visitors talked and yelled, although clearly signed as prohibited, people everywhere were taking pictures with their cameras and mobiles – museum staff powerless to stop them.

The jewel in the Louvre’s crown is of course the Mona Lisa. Da Vinci’s masterpiece has clearly become too famous for her own good and the surprisingly small painting is kept solitarily fastened to a giant wall, behind inches of glass. The sort of crowd more often seen at political rallies and protest marches hugged as close to the painting as possible, surging to get a closer look before another wave of crazed visitors pushed their way in. As the noise undulated and camera flashes dazzled the universally-recognised 500-year old face, my girlfriend turned to me and said, ‘This is worship!’

And it was – the crowd were more like devoted believers cramming into a temple before some sacrificial icon. This allusion to religion is appropriate, but the difference is that those believers would all group themselves together, while the museum visitors were from all over the world and represented every race, religion and class imaginable.

But museums have that kind of effect. They’re sort of ‘neutral temples’ to the world’s art, religion, culture and the products thereof. Artefacts from contrasting regions and cultures are found under one roof and the public is asked to come and gaze upon these varying wonders. But why? And how do museums justify the cultural relevance of their exhibits? The mass of people who saw the Mona Lisa that day did not have the luxury of a moments’s quiet contemplation before a piece of artistic genius. They’d probably seen it in more detail a few minutes before – in one of the museum’s brochures. And when museums display religious relics or human remains probably stolen over a hundred years ago by an imperialist explorer, how do they justify showing them off to a modern, atheistic and ‘multicultural’ audience when they meant so much more to the cultures from which they’ve been taken? In an essay called ‘Boutique Multiculturalism’, literary critic Stanley Fish defines the person who claims to ‘appreciate’ other cultures while hypocritically refusing to undermine their own principles for the sake of another person’s: “A boutique multiculturalist may [for example] enjoy watching Native American religious ceremonies and insist that they be freely allowed to occur, but he will balk if those ceremonies include animal sacrifice or the use of a controlled substance… a boutique multiculturalist does not and cannot take seriously the core values of the cultures he tolerates”. This is a prudent point. Fish rolls out this definition in a discussion more concerned with sociology, but it seems to fit in here too. When we visit museums and learn about culture, are we always doing so at arm’s length? Museums cannot help us actually engage with another culture; they can only teach us a series of things about it, and predominantly its distant past. Furthermore, when situations like an over-crowded Louvre arise, is there even scope for learning in such a hectic environment? In that scenario, even the basic educational functionality of museums breaks down and, like the staff unable to stop tourists taking photos, there are no curators on hand to step in and say ‘Slow down! Look at these brush strokes…’

But it is curious that the crowd was so enthusiastic about Da Vinci’s painting. A culture, not of religious belief or nationality, but a modern one of commercialism and media drew the crowds to that part of the museum. The name ‘Mona Lisa’ is chanted like a Hail Mary throughout film, television and best-selling novels. Works like this take on a new consumer-packaged significance and become irresistible attractions in the same way that fashion labels adorn sought-after clothes. For our world, a name can be enough. If it’s a concept easy to translate through things like the internet or movies, then it can find its way anywhere. We are much more accepting too, which is probably why we laugh when reading that the audiences of ‘revolutionary’ symphonies fainted in their seats and criticised the music’s radicalism. For these reasons, whatever we consider to be our personal backgrounds or religious associations, the Western world and capitalism have bolted a new layer on top which might be described as an internationally-aware anti-culture.So it is, I think, with a curious sort of hypocrisy that we visit museums and wonder at what we see there, especially if we don’t even take the time to look properly. With all these musings in mind, I spoke to the Director of the Ashmolean Museum, Christopher Brown, a man with decades of experience managing museums. ‘There are many ways of visiting a museum. You can do it superficially or educationally and there is a great deal of value in being able to contemplate a work in appropriate surroundings. Curators work very hard too to try and provide a high level of information to interest a broad public, but there is indeed a great deal of debate on how cultures should be represented and how acquisitions are justified.’

‘Many artefacts in England’s museums were acquired through wars and stealing during Imperialism, yes, but many of those cultures are represented now by English people of ethnic origin and the British Museum, for example, has the scope to present what it calls a “world of culture” within one museum, showing the links and diversities between its various departments.’

It is true that Western culture is now home to what is essentially a series of very different and sometimes contrasting cultures. Perhaps museums are actually more justified now as representations of the elements which make up their visiting public. As Christopher Brown said, ‘Ethnic groups which visit such museums can feel supportive of their own history and feel confident that their past is being carefully presented to the world through planned exhibits.’

Perhaps the line may only need to be drawn when we come to the issue of human remains such as the Pitt Rivers’ museums famous ‘shrunken heads’ which are subject to repeated calls for return. In such cases, the claims of the museum to be teaching people about other cultures may be seriously undermined. But so too was the value of the Mona Lisa and so many other works on that afternoon in Paris. With the museum opening its doors to everyone, it let itself be subject to the superficial desire of thousands to catch a few glimpses of something because it was free and it was wet outside. It’s hard to criticise the Louvre for allowing free admissions but where does the value lie if no-one can take anything constructive from their visit?
But curators aren’t blind to this. Christopher Brown himself confirmed why £60 million was being spent on the Ashmolean’s impressive renovation and extension: ‘The impulse for this work was because we felt that certain collections weren’t being displayed and explained as well as they should be… We want to make sure that objects are chosen carefully and presented in better conditions, with more lighting and better textual information.’
So, from stormy days in Paris and discussions with museum directors I’ve come to two conclusions. First that museums can play important ‘cultural’ roles in a culturally-hesitant society. However, to do so, they have to make sure that what they’re showing the public is relevant and appropriate and that it is presented in a way which inspires some sort of valuable response from the viewer. That could be anything from wanting to try your own hand at painting, booking a trip to the Pyramids having met the mummified remains of their old residents or simply coming away a little more knowledgeable about the world you live in – never an insignificant achievement.

Why not head off to one of Oxford’s many impressive museums or galleries this weekend? And why not go to one you’ve been to before, but have a second look at that boring bit of metal found by someone building a warehouse in Slough. Because on careful reflection, things always seem to be more engaging.

Lincoln v LMH Friday 25 January 14:00 Lincoln will be desperate to show that they are still a force to be reckoned with in college football, after a sorry league campaign this season, which sees them at the bottom of the table with just a single point. LMH have had a relatively easy run to the quarters, although few can doubt Jim Allchin’s scoring capabilities. Verdict: LMH to edge it Wadham v Worcester Friday 25 January 14:00The only Premier Division clash of the four. Having trampled over St John’s in the last round, Worcester are likely to call upon the likes of Blues forwards, Toogood and De Walden, in their attempt to complete the double. Wadham will need to maintain their strong defensive record, which is second only to Worcester, if they are to compete. Goals might be hard to come by for the home team. Verdict: Worcester too strong Queen’s v Teddy Hall Monday 28 January 14:00Teddy Hall could not have wished for a kinder opposition. Queens are currently bottom of the Second Division and have conceded 33 goals in nine games, something which should excite the likes of Wilfred Frost and Tom Theodore. Nonetheless, Queen’s 1-0 victory over Magdalen should give them hope for a second Cuppers upset. Verdict: Comfortable win for Teddy Hall St Catz v Corpus/Linacre Monday 28 January 14:00 With the prospect of Premier Division football in 2008, St Catz go into the tie brimming with confidence. Ryan Taylor’s ten goals are the keys behind this success. Corpus/Linacre, who progressed to the quarter-finals due to the disqualification of Exeter, will not be used to this quality of football in the JCR Second Division and will struggle. Verdict: Corpus’ fortunate run should end hereby Harry McDowell

The rain. It never stops, does it? So there goes another week of wasted Oxford sporting talent, and they say more downpours are on their way. A total of fourteen football matches were rained off last week, with games cancelled at the beginning of this week as well. a sign that perhaps the last weeks of term will be filled to the bursting point with footie , if the rain doesn’t get there first. A week when we missed what could have been an epic Keble vs St Hugh’s 2nd XI match and instead had to put up with watching snooker on the TV. One can easily speculate as to what could have taken place as these gladiators of sport battled in their favourite arena, but that would be utterly pointless when I could also quite easily spend the time watching the likes of Mark Selby, the ‘jester from Leicester’ or Dave Harold, the ‘bloke from Stoke’. Which brings me on nicely to nicknames. What is their point? Why do Colleges darts teams spend more time thinking of what rhymes with Bernard, rather than their favourite 123 ‘out shot’. Let’s hope the weather improves so that we will not have to do a two-page spread on the sport of sports that is ‘underwater hockey’, or college mascots, however with the weather as it is, maybe it is time that we took these less ‘comercial’ sports a lot more seriously. In fact now is the perfect time, Pool Cuppers only essays away and the darts league reaching an exciting climax, Oriel leading St Anne’s in Division 1 by a mere two points.So come on readers, get involved. Cement yourself in College bar history with the first 9 dart finish, or by your encyclopaedic knowledge of college darts league tables. As my horoscope tells me, it is time to try something new, so why not ‘tiddlywinks’? One thing for certain is that I will not be doing a ‘rain dance’, and perhaps the popularity of ‘dance-sport’ may be the reason for the floods in the first place. Thinking back, this whole article seems to be more based on games and societies rather than the classical sports that our forefathers played back in the thirteenth, or make that twentieth, century.by Matthew Gold

Christ Church 15 – 17 Trinity/LMH After a titanic match, in which the pressure of the occasion seemed at times to overwhelm both sides, it was eventually Trinity/LMH that emerged victorious. In doing so they secured their own place in the top flight and at the same time consigning Christ Church to the second Division for next season. The result left the two sides tied on four points, and by virtue of their victory today, Trinity/LMH will remain in Division One next Michaelmas. The game began on an even footing, and with some hard running around the fringes of the ruck Trinity/LMH began to make some inroads into the Christ Church defence. However, they could not escape some committed tackling, and after this early assault the momentum began to shift towards the home side. The penalty count was high from both sides, but Trinity/LMH began to find themselves pushed further and further back into their own twenty-two. By the twenty minute mark, they were fighting doggedly in defence, unable to hold onto the ball for more than a phase or two. However, Christ Church had problems of their own, they were finding it impossible to get point on the board, and although the defence they faced was solid, they were not making it easy for themselves. Lineouts were missed, the ball was dropped and penalties were conceded. Two kicks at goal were missed, and several opportunities for tries went begging. Just as it seemed as though the first score was never coming, suddenly a flash of brilliance. A turnover, a blindside break by captain Christopher Perfect and quick ball spread out wide saw Christ Church full back Jamie Holdoway going over in the corner. The relief was palpable, even though the conversion was missed, the Christ Church side seemed to think that a corner had been turned. However, almost directly from the kick off Trinity/LMH scored almost under the posts, and when their fly-half knocked over a penalty on top of the conversion, suddenly Christ Church found themselves five points down at the change of ends, and ruing the missed chances of the first half. The second half was a far more evenly contested, and the introduction of flanker Ian Horn gave an extra impetus to Christ Church in both the defence and attack. When a cleverly worked move with Horn running down the five-metre channel of a lineout resulted in a try, the scores were level and a thrilling last half an hour was set up. Trinity/LMH gained the advantage when Christ Church scrum half Gareth Davies was sent to the sin-bin, and looked to have sealed the tie with a try in the corner, only for the referee to disallow it for double movement. The decisive moment came with a penalty try, the Christ Church pack penalised for collapsing a scrum on the five metre line. This set up a desperate last five minutes, with iconic Christ Church centre Duncan Chiah forcing a score out on the left. Fly half Ashley Gillard stepped up to take the kick that would keep his side in the First Division, but it fell agonisingly short, and his side will have to begin next year in the second division.by Jack Marsh

by Paul Rainford – Blues football CaptainThe situation is no longer quite so simple. The 1-1 draw against Nottingham on Wednesday, in conjunction with Worcester University’s victory against Warwick, ensures that Worcester are now in pole position, requiring only a victory next week against bottom of the table Northampton to be crowned BUSA midlands champions. In isolation the result on Wednesday was highly creditable and once again we displayed an abundance of sprit and dedication that will doubtlessly pay dividends in the long run. Nottingham are a very well organised outfit, with no shortage of technical ability or physical presence. However in terms of the wider picture, and our BUSA league campaign in particular, this was undoubtedly a set back as it now means that we are reliant on favourable results elsewhere if we are to climb back to the top of the league. And yet I am compelled to emphasise the fact that we have fought too hard and for too long to simply concede defeat here and now; Worcester will find that there are different pressures to deal with when you are the team being chased, rather than the team doing the chasing and it will be interesting to see how they adapt, especially in the knowledge that their final game of the season will be against us at Iffley Road. The game against Nottingham was quite a strange affair in itself. Suspicions were raised when the match was moved from the traditional first team pitch to the undoubtedly inferior second team facilities. I have a strong conviction that this was a deliberate ploy to stunt our superior passing game and favour the deployment of overtly physical and direct tactics. One of the greatest obstacles that we, as an Oxford University representative side, have to overcome is the perception that we are in some way soft and can be intimidated and bullied into submission. It is true that we (fortunately) lack some of the nastier and more ungentlemanly tendencies of some of our opponents but we certainly possess more than enough physicality to compete with all opponents under all conditions. Such was the case against Nottingham and we took an early lead when Alex Toogood expertly placed a header into the far corner of the goal with less than twenty minutes gone. This was a lead that we held until the final ten minutes of the match when, after failing to clear the ball from a wide position, a Nottingham midfielder broke free into our box and placed a low drive just out of Nik Baker’s reach into the right hand corner of the goal. It was a bitter blow coming so late on in the game but in truth we should have been coasting by this stage, having missed several glorious chances to increase our lead and destroy any Nottingham hopes of a comeback. The lack of sharpness and the break up in momentum caused by the enforced break over Christmas certainly hindered certain aspects of our play but we shouldn’t seek to make any excuses and we must work harder to raise our level of quality if we are to keep up the pressure on Worcester next week.

Oxford University Swimming Club has just returned from a fantastic training camp in Lignano, which we hope will be a precursor to victory in the Hilary varsity competition. In 2008 we have relocated our training camp to a purpose-built training village in Italy, which incorporated an Olympic sized swimming pool for intensive long course training, a 25 metre pool for short course sprint work, and a state of the art multi-gym and sports hall complex. Swimmers took part in four hours of intensive coached pool training each day, combined with plyometrics, flexibility, and team building exercises, in preparation for what promises to be the most closely fought Varsity Match of the last decade. Many returning swimmers commented on the excellent facilities, which are unrivalled anywhere in England. The pool, which was ten lanes wide, fifty metres long, and built for the 2006 European Youth Championships, was outstanding. We were delighted to have all ten lanes to ourselves on a number of occasions, and when we shared the pool it was with the likes of the Ukrainian national swimming team, the Spanish water polo team, and the Italian synchronised swimming team. Being surrounded by international sportsmen and women certainly spurred the squad on, especially through those gruelling midweek sets when exhaustion had already set in, but the end of the camp was not yet in sight. An afternoon spent in Venice at the halfway point provided a welcome few hours of recovery and, having visited St. Mark’s Square, the Bridge of Sighs, and the Doge’s Palace, we returned to the pool refreshed and ready for more hard training. As usual, training camp was a great success, even more so this year for its superb new location. The squad has returned feeling leaner, meaner, and faster, and ready to take on the Tabs in the forthcoming Varsity Match.by Lorna Wellings

After a disappointing 1-0 loss to Oxford Hawks, Oxford were looking to get back to the form they had showed before Christmas with a trip to Lewes. Missing Richard Bond to injury and with concerns over the fitness of Harry Slater, there were concerns that the Blues might lack some creativity goingforward. This was not to be, however, and, on a perfect playing surface, Oxford quickly seized the initiative. Captain Dave Cresswell had allowed a couple of early opportunities to go begging when he buried his third flick in the bottomleft-hand corner to put his side ahead. The lead was soon doubled, with Cresswell claiming a second from a corner, and, with the defence playing the ball around wall at the back and the front line working tirelessly, openings in the Lewes defence were frequently exploited. Tom Lockton claimed a third and,with the Blues looking strong, a further short corner set-up Cresswell whoflicked hard and high into the net to complete his hattrick with the goal of the day. A mix-up between defenders Chris Sibley and Charlie Duffell saw a corner conceded from which Lewes eventually forced home but the loss of their clean sheet never troubled Oxford and, going in at halftime 4-1 ahead they resolved to experiment in the latter period; going to three at the back with a high attacking man. This created problems defensively but did not prevent the Blues from picking up where they had left off in attack; Martin Pickup claimingtheir fifth from open play. The thinness of the Blues’ defence then told, allowing Lewes to claim a second, but the result was never in doubt and Cresswell claimed a further two goals before the close, bringing his personal tally to five, and securing a fine 7-2 victory for the team.by James Moubray

St Edmund Hall 5 – 0 BrasenoseBrasenose and Teddy Hall lined up on Uni Parks for this Premier League encounter each with something to prove: Brasenose were hoping that a their collection of talented players could reward them with a first win in ten games, and Hall looked to continue their remarkable resurgence and potentially challenge Worcester for the Premier League crown. Both teams’ desire was marked by gritty tackles in the opening exchanges, but it was Brasenose that signalled their intent early on. Driven by a strong midfield and the skill of Elliot-Kelly and de Haes in attack, they dominated possession, and Teddy Hall were reduced to playing counterattack football. De Haes was kept out by a smart save from Ielpo, looking for his third consecutive clean sheet, and Brasenose almost bundled in from the resulting corner as Hall endured a period of nervy moments in the box. Gradually, however, Hall began to demonstrate the kind of fast-passed passing football that has propelled them to the quarterfinals of Cuppers and within realistic reach of the league leaders. As Brasenose became increasingly frustrated at a series of poor final balls, the likes of Hall’s Tim Hoffman and Charlie ‘birthday boy’ Talbot- Smith began to control proceedings. This increasing pressure soon paid off. After Jack Furniss had gone close after good work by Ed Morse, Talbot- Smith released a through ball that left the Brasenose back line staring in wonder as Wilf Frost finished the move, his angled shot was as ice cool as his name would suggest. Hall, based on an everreliable back five, continued to press hard for a second, with the left side – Morse, Talbot-Smith and the impressive Jack Furniss – particularly dangerous as Brasenose’s defensive frailties began to be exposed by the powerful running of Hall’s attacking players. Chances came and went, with Max Clarfelt and Carl Jones going close. Indeed, for all their attacking purpose, such was Brasenose’s lack of defense that there were strong words at half-time and this, together with a few typically eloquent words from Frost, was perhaps the jab in the ribs Hall needed. Certainly, the second half treated the spectators to a brand of inspired football that would make Steve McLaren blush. After a period of pressure of Brasenose pressure where Hall captain Johnny Waldron had to be at his most alert to clear of the line and Ielpo made good use of his considerable stature to pull of a stunning reflex save from de Haes, Hall capitalised on the growing sense of despondency of their opponents and began to cut through the Brasenose defence at will. Hoffman went close on several occasions while Frost and Talbot-Smith were both denied by a very stubborn left post, but they did not have to wait long to celebrate – Talbot-Smith gifted the perfect birthday present, heading in after a defensive mix-up, and Frost’s cross-shot being turned in by a defender as a striker hovered menacingly behind him. Frost capped a formidable performance with two fine finishes – a crisp volley and a header from Jones’s pinpoint cross – to notch up his hattrick and bring his season’s tally to 11 goals in 10 games. This impressive win, surely the best of the season for the Hall and one that leaves Brasenose fighting the everincreasing threat of relegation, will certainly leave Worcester peering over their shoulders as their rival’s challenge gathers momentum. As Talbot- Smith collected his man-of-the match accolade, Waldron was left musing on his side’s prospects for the rest of the season.by Edward Halliday

Health Survey by Caroline Crampton
Last term, Cherwell reported the results of a study into eating disorders amongst Oxford students, and quite frankly, the results were very concerning. 30 per cent of students admitted to having an eating disorder at some point during their time at university, and worse, 40 per cent of sufferers said that life at Oxford had definitely been a contributing factor to their illness. We decided to take this statistic further, and conduct an investigation into the overall impact of an Oxford lifestyle on our health. The findings were staggering in every possible way: we drink too much, smoke too much and take drugs far more than is advisable. We don’t exercise, don’t eat fruit and consider regular, wholesome meals a hindrance to our hectic schedules, rather than an essential part of life. But much more importantly, most of us do all of this in the full knowledge that it is unhealthy – for example, over 50 per cent of participants in the survey said that they were aware of the government guidelines for alcohol consumption, but choose to drink far more than is recommended anyway.It is crucial to note this; we can wring our hands as much as we like, but there is no getting away from the fact that excess is fun, and to take these results too seriously is to completely misunderstand the way in which Oxford functions. To deplore our actions as misguided or misinformed is patronising and condescending – generally, university welfare provision is more than adequate, and students are kept fully informed of the consequences of their actions. Obviously, eating disorders and similar are no laughing matter, but the fundamental truth for the majority of students is that eating and drinking too much is enjoyable, and sleep deprivation is the natural consequence of trying to do an Oxford degree and have a social life at the same time. While these statistics do throw up some worrying (if unsurprising) trends, I believe that it is our attitude to them that is more interesting. As long as we still consider that we have a choice as to how we conduct our lives, there can be no culprit for our health issues other than our own actions. It is only when academic pressure or adverse circumstances beyond our control start to intrude as causes that there is real cause for concern – the rest of the time I implore you to keep a level head, laugh at our general idiocy and appreciate the brightly coloured graphs. What this issue needs, and in fact Oxford itself needs more than anything when looking at itself, is a sense of humour.
 
WEIGHT LOSS: One student feels that the pressure of Oxford drives him to shed weightBeing a boy in a single-sex school, my weight problems were a solitary struggle. Mentioning the word ‘diet’ (even in reference to Coke) raised, at best, an ‘aren’t you kooky’ smirk. By Upper Sixth, I lost my 16lbs of excess weight in the run up to my A-Levels. Now, surely, the daily use of the scales, unconscious calorie-counting and binge/starvation rituals could stop.

Then I came to Oxford. I fitted into this army of bean-poles, which I would not have done one year previously. With this sort of pressure, I had to make sure I maintained my weight. Hearing that students either gain or lose five pounds in their first term, I was determined to be in the latter camp. I reverted to the techniques of my adolescence, eating only one large meal a day in Hall. The social life and hectic work schedule I built around myself in my first year meant that the smoking habit I had when I first came up became a 20-a-day habit which helped to suppress hunger. All-nighters worked my body even harder on less calories and I dropped almost a stone, putting my BMI at the lower end of normal weight.

Living out this year has put me firmly into the underweight category, I see cooking as a distraction that will help with nothing but making me fat. On average I eat about 800-1000 calories a day, significantly below my recommended 2500. My normal pattern includes waking up, drinking Diet Coke to make my stomach feel full, smoking at lunchtime, then waiting until 6 or 7pm before eating a smallish meal. My friends have expressed concern about my weight loss and intellectually I can understand. But emotionally I don’t care. Eating any more will make me fat, unattractive and incapable. Right now, I have only eaten a quarter of an aubergine in the past 24 hours – a good day. Tomorrow, I have promised to meet a friend for lunch and am cooking with one of my housemates: that’s two meals so I will have to compensate for them in the coming week. I must stress I am not an anorexic; I still enjoy eating food and am not trying to lose any more weight. In reality, food is a threatening presence in my life which has to be carefully accounted for and managed so that I do not let my weight get out of control.

Control is, I believe, the linking factor between my unhealthy eating and Oxford. Whilst vanity is certainly a part of my fear around gaining weight, the slim culture of Oxford has not peer-pressured me into my current eating habits. One of my sharper-tongued friends remarked ‘people in Oxford are motivated and fat people are lazy.’ In an environment where one is no longer the best academically, as at school, able to last longest in the library or constantly keep ahead of work, eating is a means of control, body-image is a supplement for one’s academic pressures and insecurities.

Obesity is prevalent in a lower socio-economic stratum than the one most people at Oxford come from, so fat is an immediate marker of difference from others in Oxford which signifies that, maybe, you don’t really belong here. If you can control your food you are seemingly managing your life and therefore have the idealised ‘driven’ mentality that is integral to success.

For me, skipping a meal makes up for a shoddy essay. Whilst Oxford is not the cause of my issues with food, it has been an environment which has fostered their development by means of its academically competitive hierarchy and constant pressures.
 
Cerys Oakes on dealing with OCD at OxfordI have suffered with OCD since I was ten years old, when I developed complex, lengthy hand-washing routines. These rituals were designed to prevent any germs from ‘infecting’ those around me – something I believed was a very real danger. My OCD changes form every two years or so, and I spent my teenage years suffering with one form or another of the condition. During my A-levels I suffered with Tourette’s Syndrome, which is related to OCD and is characterised by repeated movements or sounds, or ‘tics’; in my case the compulsion to blink repeatedly and trouble with swallowing and breathing. This made it difficult for me to read and affected my studies. My friends had noticed and were supportive, but the condition can be difficult for non-sufferers to understand.

Now in my second year here, I am currently suffering with a type of Obsessive- Compulsive Disorder called pure obsessional, or pure ‘O’. Pure ‘O’ involves the same intrusive thoughts or mental rituals, but there are no outward behavioural routines. Suffering with pure ‘O’, as opposed to the form of OCD with behavioural compulsions, has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, you can’t tell I have OCD to look at me, and so I am no longer self-conscious. However, it also means that it is much harder for people to understand my OCD, and to convince people that I really do have a condition and am not just seeking attention. My OCD becomes particularly bad when I am feeling stressed or anxious, and consequently my mum was really concerned about the impact on my health of coming to Oxford. While here I have found it difficult coping: when I’m suffering the obsessions kind of ‘cloud’ my mind and I find it really difficult to concentrate on anything else. I find exams particularly difficult because I panic at the large numbers of people and my OCD can go into overload and I really struggle to focus on what I am doing. Sometimes juggling a hectic social life, extra-curricular activities, my degree and OCD can leave me drained and vulnerable to depression. My friends at Oxford have been really good, but I wish there were a university support group I could join. However, while OCD- like an unwelcome relative- often manifests itself at the least opportune times, I have been determined never to let it affect me achieving my goals and I hope that it never does.
 
Roland Singer-Kingsmith has an epiphany at the gymI have always defended my Aristotelian belief that the body is only the medium through which the soul travels and that it is the ignorant man who regards the physical body as the Self. An opinion hardly conducive to three sets of twenty reps of bicep curls. I’m also heartily opposed to running without destination, floor to ceiling vanity mirrors, ball-shrinking muscles on display and the anorexic girl at the front desk.

So last week, for the first time in my life, I joined the LA Fitness just around the corner from Pembroke.
To those artistes who think that breaking a sweat doing anything other than making (Romantic) love à la Byron is utterly vulgar, I’d like to say, I am with you all the way. Theoretically. In practice a Gap year, foreign cigarettes and Sainsbury’s basics have ravaged my body. By contrast, the majority of my fellow Pembrokians are healthier than is decent and leave the average student looking like Jabba the Hut.

I wasn’t peer pressured into signing up to my idea of hell per se, but it’s true that, of my five closest Oxford friends, all are avid anti-smokers, two are blues players, two Pembroke rowers and one has the biggest guns in college. Compare this with my five closest friends back home in Brighton who would only be found near a gym if the pub they were in didn’t have a smoking area and the bus stop across the road just happened to be outside an Esporta.

On my first trip I noticed that, despite housing the fittest of both sexes and having more hormones buzzing than calories being burned, the gyme is a castratingly sterile place. What I thought of as an ideal location for coquetry turns out to be a completely un-social environment. It is probably the only venue in town where legions of panting women, bobbing up and down, are not chatted up by a similar number of heaving, hulking blokes. Everybody is just too busy looking at themselves.

However the undeniable truth is that, behind the Narcissistic self-consciousness, the gym’s clientele are doing themselves a huge amount of good. The good for me personally is twofold: my curse that I believe I could always do better means I exercise efficiently, and I am addicted to the feeling afterwards. I am no scientist of endorphins but man it’s good shit. And it makes me as productive after lunch and into the evening as I am in the morning. In fact, I’ve started to think that I may not write as good an essay, or concentrate as well in a tutorial, or be so convivial at dinner if I haven’t been to the gym.

Take this Damascene moment on the treadmill: I had been running at increased gradient at about 6km/hr for about 15mins (it’s not that geeky, I just remember the machine display). Up on the big screens in front of me was Sky sports, Eastenders and Ferry Corsten’s new track, none of which was particularly inspirational. I looked down to see that I only had five minutes more to go and realised that the day before I had been really struggling at this point. I was then overcome by this sudden swell, not of energy but (brace yourselves) of passion.

It was an incredible sensation. I felt an unexpected surge; the same accelerated heartbeat I get from hearing Henry V’s ‘band of brothers’ speech, the same prick behind the eyes I get every time I re-read the ‘Kite Runner’. But this was just 15 minutes on a treadmill. Talk about a quick fix.

That was when it all made sense; I understood why so many people at Oxford go to those places and why they go so often. It’s about receiving physical reward for mental determination. I had experienced my first gym high, soul and body momentarily united. I’ll only have to push that little bit harder for my next one.

Defeated, but not disheartened, the Blues Lacrosse team returned home from Cambridge with only one thing on their minds: vengeance at Varsity. After a friendly match against Loughborough was washed out the previous week, the Blues hadn’t yet managed to step foot on the pitch in 2008, with practices moved from the waterlogged pitches to the athletics track seriously impeding preparations. With a 10-1 defeat to their Varsity rivals in the Parks last term, the away match looked a tough prospect. From the first whistle both teams showed hunger for the ball, but it was the Light Blue aggression that paid off. The ball was turned over and a quick succession of tidy passes saw the ball in the back of the Oxford goal. Not to be intimidated, however, the Dark Blue attacks responded quickly and Oli Valner beat her defender in a one-on-one, darting into the fan to slot the ball past Cambridge’s imposing goalkeeper. However, after this quick retaliation Oxford struggled to maintain pressure and some sloppy marking resulted in soft goals for the home team. With key players able to convert even an inch of free room into a swift goal, Cambridge only needed to hold a solid defence and move the ball quickly to keep the visitors out of the game – which they did. Despite committed defence from Rosie Price and determined man-on-man marking by Claire Strauss, the Oxford goal was peppered with shots. After a time-out was called, the Dark Blues attacked the centre draw more decisively, but each time an attack looked promising, the ball was turned over. At half-time the Blues had a significant deficit to pull back, with the score at 7-1. In the second half, captain and goalkeeper Els Sobczyk was showered with yet more shots from Cambridge. Despite the hard work done by Emma Readman and Alex Carruthers to bring the ball up into the midfield, the Light Blues were vigilant in defence, and continued to convert opportunities. Doing all she could to lead from the back, the scoreline would surely have resulted in a far wider margin had Sobczyk not stood up to the occasion as she did. Leah Templeman also shone, working hard at both ends of the pitch and managing to place a second shot in the Cambridge goal. The last quarter of the match saw the same mistakes and faltering play that Oxford had shown in the first half. Despite competing hard on all around the pitch, each attack ended with Cambridge in possession. When Cambridge bizarrely called a time-out with a 15-2 lead and just one minute left to play, the 16 girls in dark blue did not need a team talk to realise that serious work would need to be done before the Varsity match in 7th week. But, with absolutely nothing more to be lost it was in the final minute of the match that a glimmer of hope tentatively shone on Oxford’s horizon. After refusing to accept passive defeat, Sobczyk rallied the team and urged a final burst of energy to prove a point. Though irrelevant in the context of the game, when the attacks cut through the fan, allowing Valner to charge past her defender and score the final goal of the match, the Dark Blues had proved to themselves that giving up was not an option. With the cumulative score from the two BUSA matches reaching 25-4 to Cambridge, the Oxford Lacrosse girls will undoubtedly need to pull out all stops in training in the next five weeks to ensure that the crowds at Varsity will have something to cheer for.by Stephanie Hardwick