With cricket written off this week by the dreadful weather,
Oxford’s various sides will be itching to get out in to the
middle, with some mouth-watering fixtures in prospect. The men’s UCCE side are due to play Durham UCCE today in
an away fixture in the BUSA Premier Division before a twoday game
over the weekend in the inter-UCCE league. Meanwhile Oxford’s women’s UCCE will be looking
forward to two fixtures this week which remind them of recent
triumphs. They travel to Exeter in the BUSA Premier Division on
Sunday, looking to repeat their indoor side’s success over
the Devon outfit, before hosting Cambridge UCCE at Marston on
Wednesday. It is perhaps the men’s seconds, the Authentics, who will
be listening the closest to the weather forecasts this week, as
they prepare themselves for two big games against Nottingham
Trent – at Marston on Sunday – and a trip to Birmingham
University on Wednesday. This will all be played, though, with
one eye on their Varsity encounter, scheduled for next Friday in
the Parks.ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

Though Somerville’s first eleven captured the headlines
following their 3-0 cuppers victory over pre-match favourites
Wadham, the second eleven cuppers tournament proved no less
exciting. Indeed, the final – played this term due to
scheduling conflicts in Hilary – epitomised the dogged
determination so characteristic of all 2nd XI Football. An
entertaining match saw Teddy Hall emerge victorious over an
organised Pembroke side who had narrowly missed out on winning
the First Division. Both sides showed their passion, skill and strength in a first
half that exhibited fast end to end football. For much of the
period Pembroke, who benefited from the help of a not
inconsiderable wind at their backs, pressed for an early score.
However, a Teddy Hall break led to them gaining a corner which
swirled in the wind above the Pembroke defence, and evaded the
attempted clearance of the otherwise solid Bartosiak- Jentys.
Teddy Hall capitalised in the scramble and swept the ball home to
move in to a 1-0 lead against the run of play. They held on to
the lead until the referee blew for half-time. The second half heralded a period of Pembroke domination
straight from the kick off, as they sought to regain the parity
they had unluckily lost. Despite repeated Pembroke attacks, the
two Hall centre backs, Captain Julian Baker and Christopher
Wilson, gave a commanding performance and consistently frustrated
the Pembroke forward line. The excellent Teddy Hall keeper,
Laurence Hargrave, was also called upon to produce some heroics
– including pulling off a superb reflex save at his near
post, when the ball looked to have beaten him. However, Teddy Hall were to extend their lead against the run
of play for the second time. Again a corner proved the downfall
of Pembroke – having only half cleared another wind affected
corner Pembroke looked on haplessly as a well executed volley by
Liam Kelly swept the ball sailing past goalkeeper and defenders
and his side into a 2-0 lead. With a two goal advantage and time fast running out, it
appeared that Hall would be able to run down the clock; but
Pembroke had other ideas and immediately went on the attack. An
inspired attacking substitution by the Pembroke side’s
Captain Rami Tappuni saw them dispense with the niceties of
defence and pile the pressure on Teddy Hall’s goal. Amid much pressure Pembroke finally did drag themselves back
into the game via a neat finish following a fearsome shot which
had rebounded off the Hall crossbar. At 2-1 the game, and the trophy, were up for grabs, but
Pembroke’s energy sapping attempt to restore terms was to
prove futile. Their commitment to seeking the equaliser allowed
Teddy Hall to exploit numerous gaps in their defence. Fatal among
these Hall attacking forays was a break down Pembroke’s left
flank, which led to the tireless Will Hepworth applying a
clinical finish to an excellent run. Though Pembroke may have felt that the 3-1 score line did not
reflect how hard they had pushed their opponents, Teddy Hall
lived to hear the final whistle blow and deservedly took the Cup
in what was an enthralling encounter.ARCHIVE: 1st week TT 2004

French farce returns to Oxford this week with La Compagnie
Molière d’Oxford performing ’Les Fourberies de Scapin’ at
Wadham’s Moser theatre. The rarity of French theatre performed in
French should deservedly draw a good crowd as did last year’s ’Le
Malade Imaginaire’. One of Moliere’s best loved plays, Les Fourberies de Scapin is
a farce set in Italy. On the return of their fathers from abroad,
Léandre and Octave are both faced with the prospect of marrying
two unknown women. Since Léandre has just proposed to a young
gypsy called Zerbinette and Octave has recently married Hyacinte,
they seek the help of the wily servant Scapin to resolve their
problems… Well cast in the challenging and unrelenting role of Scapin,
Christophe Schramm’s engaging and memorable performance is reason
enough to see the play. His good looks and charm as the scheming
Scapin are irresistible. The rest of the cast, not all native
speakers, do very well in portraying the humour and energy of
this demanding play and the initial impact is maintained
throughout. The use of set and levels is effective in its simplicity.
Equally, the costumes are basic yet functional and don’t detract
from the acting. A few well chosen elements of directorial
interpretation are instrumental in making this production more
suited to and enjoyable for its audience. For those with dubious
French skills, the physical nature of the play still undoubtedly
entertains, and when combined with the scene by scene synopsis
given out at the start it is possible for all to follow and
enjoy. All in all, whilst seeming like an obligation for Europhiles,
this opportunity to see French theatre is a chance which should
not be missed and happily turns out to be a real pleasure to
watch.ARCHIVE: 1st week TT 2004

Nestled on the Red Sea coast against the stunning backdrop of
the Sinai mountain range, Sharm El Sheikh is heralded as the
jewel of the Egyptian tourist industry. Boasting the simplicity
of year-round sun, sea and sand, this sprawl of luxury four and
five-star hotels is one of the most developed and accessible
resorts on the Sinai peninsula. Arriving in Sharm, you’ll
fly over the white-washed little town and will begin to
comprehend the sheer scale of a few of the resorts below, some
set in thousands of square metres of lush gardens and winding
swimming pools. Concerning cash, most places will happily accept
any combination of Egyptian pounds, US dollars, euros and pounds
sterling. A less convenient trait you will experience is that almost
everything must be paid for. Having retrieved a luggage trolley
from the stack, a sharp request was issued by the men guarding
over them: “One English pound, my friend.” Upon
leaving, at check in you will encounter a similar experience,
with men standing by every desk lifting your bag a mighty forty
centimetres onto the conveyor, and then demanding compensation
for their Herculean effort. Accommodation ranges from small, intimate hotels with modern
designs to the larger hotel complexes belonging to international
chains. If it is the latter, your first day may well be spent
exploring the vast grounds. Our accommodation, the four star
Sonesta Beach Resort, boasted a luxuriant green environment set
against two-storey whitewashed buildings, a private beach,
rooftop café, mini shopping arcade and snack bars by most
poolsides – though I never did discover all seven swimming
pools on offer. Buffet lunch and dinner offer a good range of
food to cater for all tastes, and cost as little as £6. The hotel staff are all very helpful, and security is
excellent, with guards posted around the clock at every entrance.
It is worth pointing out at this point that security generally is
very good, with the Egyptian authorities working hard to protect
their tourist bubble. The whole region surrounding Sharm is kept
under strict border controls, and the fact that Coalition leaders
met here at the height of the Iraq War should provide significant
reassurance. Crime is thus generally low. Also, regarding dress
codes, there are no strict rules in place, for Sharm is
essentially a Western resort, but it is always best to be aware
that you are in a Muslim country. During the day you will doubtless just want to laze by the
beach, but there are some excellent activities on offer. Golf
courses, a vast array of water sports, quad biking across the
desert, horse and camel riding, desert safaris and scuba diving
or snorkelling on the beautiful coral reefs are all available. A package I would highly recommend is a daytime trip the to
Raas Mohammed national park, incorporating several stops at
points of interest and snorkelling on the beautiful coral reef at
two locations. It also includes an overnight ascent of Mount
Sinai to watch the sunrise over the mountains, a breathtaking
experience well worth the three-hour walk up. If you’re not
quite up to the hike, there are camels for hire most of the way
up or down, although I would certainly recommend only up for men;
down can prove an extremely painful and potency-reducing
experience as you’re thrown forward against the hard front
of the saddle with every step. An ancient Greek monastery (still
in use) lies at the foot of the Mount and is definitely worth
visiting. With our particular tour group, this all came to just
over £50. At night, sunset quad bike excursions and ‘Bedouin
nights’ in the desert are on offer. But the latter was far
from the authentic experience, hosted in a modern purpose built
arena amongst the mountains, and along with the array of casinos,
bars and nightclubs available in the town, it demonstrates what
to me is wrong with Sharm. The vast majority of restaurants are Italian, Mexican or
burger bars and don’t serve local foods; amidst the neon
blare of McDonalds and KFC in the centre of town, lies that most
western of institutions, the gigantic guitar of a Hard Rock
Café. This sat uneasily with me throughout our time there, and was
further offset by the extravagant opulence of many of the hotels
when held against the knowledge that not many miles away lies a
third world environment. Parts of Egypt often struggle for water,
let alone power, yet here was a resort using unnecessarily
excessive quantities of both. This is where the anger comes in: it’s hard to notice the
dichotomy and remain calm. My best friend came to describe Sharm
as ‘McEgypt’, which is a pretty fair summary. If you
want to see Egypt, this is not the place to come. But if you want
a relatively cheap holiday in a sanitised Western bubble with the
occasional taste of the Middle East, then you’ll certainly
enjoy Sharm El Sheikh. A less convenient trait you will experience is that almost everything must be paid for. Having retrieved a luggage trolley from the stack, a sharp request was issued by the men guarding over them: “One English pound, my friend.” Upon leaving, at check in you will encounter a similar experience, with men standing by every desk lifting your bag a mighty forty centimetres onto the conveyor, and then demanding compensation for their Herculean effort.
Accommodation ranges from small, intimate hotels with modern designs to the larger hotel complexes belonging to international chains. If it is the latter, your first day may well be spent exploring the vast grounds. Our accommodation, the four star Sonesta Beach Resort, boasted a luxuriant green environment set against two-storey whitewashed buildings, a private beach, rooftop café, mini shopping arcade and snack bars by most poolsides – though I never did discover all seven swimming pools on offer. Buffet lunch and dinner offer a good range of food to cater for all tastes, and cost as little as £6.
The hotel staff are all very helpful, and security is excellent, with guards posted around the clock at every entrance. It is worth pointing out at this point that security generally is very good, with the Egyptian authorities working hard to protect their tourist bubble. The whole region surrounding Sharm is kept under strict border controls, and the fact that Coalition leaders met here at the height of the Iraq War should provide significant reassurance. Crime is thus generally low. Also, regarding dress codes, there are no strict rules in place, for Sharm is essentially a Western resort, but it is always best to be aware that you are in a Muslim country.
During the day you will doubtless just want to laze by the beach, but there are some excellent activities on offer. Golf courses, a vast array of water sports, quad biking across the desert, horse and camel riding, desert safaris and scuba diving or snorkelling on the beautiful coral reefs are all available.
A package I would highly recommend is a daytime trip the to Raas Mohammed national park, incorporating several stops at points of interest and snorkelling on the beautiful coral reef at two locations. It also includes an overnight ascent of Mount Sinai to watch the sunrise over the mountains, a breathtaking experience well worth the three-hour walk up. If you’re not quite up to the hike, there are camels for hire most of the way up or down, although I would certainly recommend only up for men; down can prove an extremely painful and potency-reducing experience as you’re thrown forward against the hard front of the saddle with every step. An ancient Greek monastery (still in use) lies at the foot of the Mount and is definitely worth visiting. With our particular tour group, this all came to just over £50.
At night, sunset quad bike excursions and ‘Bedouin nights’ in the desert are on offer. But the latter was far from the authentic experience, hosted in a modern purpose built arena amongst the mountains, and along with the array of casinos, bars and nightclubs available in the town, it demonstrates what to me is wrong with Sharm.
The vast majority of restaurants are Italian, Mexican or burger bars and don’t serve local foods; amidst the neon blare of McDonalds and KFC in the centre of town, lies that most western of institutions, the gigantic guitar of a Hard Rock Café.
This sat uneasily with me throughout our time there, and was further offset by the extravagant opulence of many of the hotels when held against the knowledge that not many miles away lies a third world environment. Parts of Egypt often struggle for water, let alone power, yet here was a resort using unnecessarily excessive quantities of both.
This is where the anger comes in: it’s hard to notice the dichotomy and remain calm. My best friend came to describe Sharm as ‘McEgypt’, which is a pretty fair summary. If you want to see Egypt, this is not the place to come. But if you want a relatively cheap holiday in a sanitised Western bubble with the occasional taste of the Middle East, then you’ll certainly enjoy Sharm El Sheikh.ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

Le Petit Blanc71-2 Walton StreetWhen hunting for a French dish, it is all too easy to dive on
to Little Clarendon Street and settle for Pierre Victoire or
worse, Café Rouge. However, I urge all escargots enthusiasts to
make the extra effort and trek up Walton Street to Le Petit
Blanc. Whether you are looking for a fixed price menu at £13.50,
for a two course meal or a full on gastronomic delight, this
little place is sure to satisfy all appetites. Le Petit Blanc has the reassuring name of top chef Raymond
Blanc behind the frying pan. Consequently every dish on the menu
is thoughtfully unique and a welcome relief from the usual
choices presented by these inferior restaurants. Although not
overly extensive, especially for vegetarians, the menu offers a
pleasant range of starters, mains and desserts including ceps
ravioli, escargot soup, perfect steak a la minute, and for all
those chocoholics out there, the most delectable chocolate
fondant, literally oozing with warm chocolate and melted in the
mouth. And let us not forget about the finer things in life. The
staff were particularly obliging when it came to the crucial
decision of finding the most complementing wines. The suggested
white was a dream, the red equally sublime, but the exquisitely
soft, peach coloured rose was the crowning glory. One would be
hard pushed to find anything on the menu that this gem of a wine
did not suit. The separate bar, also the designated smoking area,
provides an agreeable place in which to lounge while waiting for a
table, or indeed just sipping on a smooth G & T. Although the student wallet dictates that Le Petit Blan is not
a regular place to dine, when you are fed up with Oxford’s
run-ofthe- mill restaurants and your taste buds need a wake up
call, this might be the perfect spot. Go with a couple of good
mates and simply savour the moment before being jolted back to
reality with college gruel.Le Petit Blanc71-2 Walton StreetWhen hunting for a French dish, it is all too easy to dive on
to Little Clarendon Street and settle for Pierre Victoire or
worse, Café Rouge. However, I urge all escargots enthusiasts to
make the extra effort and trek up Walton Street to Le Petit
Blanc. Whether you are looking for a fixed price menu at £13.50,
for a two course meal or a full on gastronomic delight, this
little place is sure to satisfy all appetites. Le Petit Blanc has the reassuring name of top chef Raymond
Blanc behind the frying pan. Consequently every dish on the menu
is thoughtfully unique and a welcome relief from the usual
choices presented by these inferior restaurants. Although not
overly extensive, especially for vegetarians, the menu offers a
pleasant range of starters, mains and desserts including ceps
ravioli, escargot soup, perfect steak a la minute, and for all
those chocoholics out there, the most delectable chocolate
fondant, literally oozing with warm chocolate and melted in the
mouth. And let us not forget about the finer things in life. The
staff were particularly obliging when it came to the crucial
decision of finding the most complementing wines. The suggested
white was a dream, the red equally sublime, but the exquisitely
soft, peach coloured rose was the crowning glory. One would be
hard pushed to find anything on the menu that this gem of a wine
did not suit. The separate bar, also the designated smoking area,
provides an agreable place in which to lounge while waiting for a
table, or indeed just sipping on a smooth G & T. Although the student wallet dictates that Le Petit Blan is not
a regular place to dine, when you are fed up with Oxford’s
run-ofthe- mill restaurants and your taste buds need a wake up
call, this might be the perfect spot. Go with a couple of good
mates and simply savour the moment before being jolted back to
reality with college gruel. ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004

It’s an old story: wife has affair, husband catches pair
‘in flagrante delicto’ and violently murders them,
before fleeing for his life. Perhaps not. For this cuckolded
husband and double murderer was also one of the greatest
composers in Renaissance Italy, and is soon to hit our screens as
the subject of a no-expensespared biopic by the controversial
Italian film director, Bernado Bertolucci. Don Carlo Gesualdo, Prince of Venosa, enjoyed huge notoriety
in his time due to his scandalous love life and his radical
musical style which, sensuous and wild, changed the face of the
previously restrained Italian madrigal. In a recent interview
with L a RepubblicaBertolucci himself commented, “Gesualdo,
with his prophetic fury, confused me from the first time I heard
him. I experienced a carrier of emotions that was almost
expressionist.” The great Italian conductor Claudio Abbado, long a fan of
Gesualdo, stated in the same article, “Gesualdo knew how to
transfigure suffering with previously unheard harmonies. He
exalted dissonance, rendering it an instrument of expression of
the strongest and saddest emotions. And in this way, he thrust
past the boundaries of his time”. And yet, until now, both Gesualdo and his works have been
almost completely forgotten. But not for long: Bernado
Bertolucci, of Last Tango in Paris and Stealing Beauty fame, has
finally admitted that he plans to complete what sources close to
him say is a tenyear project, that will reveal the life and music
of the unjustly forgotten Prince. The film is to be called
Inferno e Paradiso, or Heaven and Hell. The release date is still
under wraps, but reports in the Italian press suggest that the
first scenes, or “ciaks” as they are called in his
native Italy, are expected to be shot this month. So, what can we expect from the famoso Italian? Like his
subjectto- be, Bertolucci is no conservative; his notorious film
La Luna shocked the world with its theme of mother-son incest set
in the world of opera. Last Tango in Paris, the story of two
people who meet anonymously for sex in a Paris apartment, was no
less stunning or provocative. And his latest release, The
Dreamers, caused yet more headlines in September last year by
famously including an incestuous relationship between a young boy
and his virgin twin sister. When Twentieth Century Fox announced that they wanted to cut
some scenes involving sex and nudity in preparation for The
Dreamers’ release in America, Bertolucci was outraged,
allegedly accusing Fox of having “amputated and
mutilated” the film, and suggesting wryly that, “some
people obviously think the American public is immature”. Will Heaven and Hell be as controversial as the Italian’s
previous efforts? It certainly seems that the combination of
Gesualdo’s colourful love life and Bertolucci’s track
record will give ample opportunities for sparks to fly. Gesualdo’s unfaithful wife, Maria of Avalos, was
reputedly one of the most beautiful women in Italy, and when the
Prince killed both her and her courtly lover it caused
shock-waves in Neapolitan society which were recorded in many a
lamenting madrigal. However, his crime passionellewas forgotten
astonishingly quickly, and in 1594, a mere four years after the
dirty deed, he was married to Eleonora d’Este, of the
powerful Ferrarese Este family. His return to grace coincided with a very fruitful period of
madrigal writing which, with their deeply pained, repentant
texts, seem to mirror his anguished guilt. Bertolucci,as ever,
has a different and juicier interpretation: “It really
distresses me that, from which ever way you look at events, you
can’t escape the fact that Gesualdo’s most beautiful
music was composed after he murdered his wife. It is as if his
works were fertilized in the blood of his wife. Gesualdo loved
music too much, Maria loved love too much. I am convinced that
Gesualdo killed his wife because she stopped him from being
creative, deep down, and that he found the pretext of adultery to
free himself.” There’s clearly a lot more to the Prince of Venosa than
meets the eye, and anyone wishing to find out more could do worse
than to dig into either the second edition of Glenn Watkins’
masterly Gesualdo, or Dennis Arnold’s BBC Music Guidewhich
somehow manages to compress most of the content of the
Watkins’ tome into about fifty very readable pages. Those not wishing to burden themselves with literature can
always skip straight to the real thing and put on a CD; Gesualdo:
Madrigals, sung by the peerless French early-music group Arts
Florissants and conducted by William Christie, is one of the
best. As for Inferno e Paradiso: box office heaven or hell? Watch
this space.ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

Open a newspaper, turn on your television or walk into a
bookstore and there is a high chance you’ll encounter Alain
de Botton: a modern philosopher who uses modern methods to bring
philosophy to a wide audience. One aspect he is particularly
interested in is how philosophy can help us examine and improve
our daily lives, as he makes clear in his bestsellers,
Consolations of Philosophy and his latest book, Status Anxiety. I
meet him in the Authors’ Green Room at the Oxford Union,
which is hosting several events in the Oxford Literary Festival,
after a talk about status to a room of eager literati; he is
happy to expound on his new book, his own status and just why
academic philosophers are jealous of him. Does he worry about rivals, a concern which Status Anxiety
addresses? “I think it’s a completely normal and
natural and universal concern to have, and unfortunately it
doesn’t matter how much you have, you always look at people
just above you. So when I started writing, if someone said
you’re going to have a book in the best-seller list, I would
have thought that’s amazing and I would give my right arm
for that. But when you get it and you think why isn’t it in
a bit longer, why hasn’t it sold as much as Lynne Truss,
those are the impulses, so it’s very, very pernicious.
We’re inherently ungrateful for what happens to us.” Status Anxiety recommends worrying about death as a way of
realising our true status – in effect, that we’re
actually a lot better off than we think. Surely this is just a
way of kidding ourselves, though, since it will make us
complacent and unambitious? De Botton agrees that the middle way
is probably best: “There’s no doubt that if you have no
concern about your status that would be very worrying. I think,
like many things it’s somewhere in the middle –
it’s an appetite – we have an appetite for status like
we have an appetite for food: too much and you gorge yourself and
you die of obesity, too little and you starve.” De Botton is very much a respected presence in the media and
his books attract excellent reviews, which should together give a
sense of security and happiness, so does he worry about his
status? What does he think constitutes his status? “[Writers
can] wonder about the intrinsic value, not just the commercial
value, the artistic value [of their work]. It’s another way
of trying to make sense of your worth. I don’t think I am an
exception – some days writers will go, ‘I got a really
bad review but I’m selling lots’ or, ‘I’m not
selling lots but I got a really good review’.” We move
on to his multimedia presence. De Botton seems u n u s u a l a m
o n g s t philosophers in that he is willing to spread his ideas
in ways other than through dusty, dry academic journals and
great, indigestible tracts which sit, unread, in the Bod (as
academic philosophers’ works are commonly perceived). In an effort to educate and inform, de Botton has taken his
message onto the television ( Status Anxiety and The Consolations
of Philosophy were adapted for Channel 4; How Proust Can Change
Your Lifefor BBC2). Does he think he’s like Socrates,
spreading the philosophical message to the public at large?
“I don’t want to compare myself to Socrates. I suppose
I’m unafraid to take calculated risks with such things as
the Richard & Judyshow, a Channel 4 documentary or whatever,
because I think that there are many ways of getting a message
across. The mass media isn’t stupid, it’s just what
might be on it that’s stupid. I don’t see a conflict
between trying to write seriously about serious themes and going
on television.” So do full–time academic philosophers treat him and those
like him, such as historians David Starkey and Simon Schama (who
both have had several television series), badly? “Oh yes,
you’re absolutely ridiculed. As soon as you, you know, go on
television, and you might be earning three times what
they’ve earned that year in a month, let’s say, you
instantly become very annoying indeed to them, but that’s
their problem. You know, your mother’s going to be delighted
with your success but you can’t expect everyone else to be
delighted.” What about the accusation that de Botton et al
over-simplify their subject and patronise their audience? Does he
think this is a result of jealousy and fear? “To be honest,
yes, I do actually. You know, most people don’t know about
British history or about the history of philosophy or whatever
– how’s one supposed to know? I think it’s a
tremendously patronising accusation ultimately under the guise of
being a helpful and serious accusation – it’s actually
the most pernicious accusation of all – I mean, Simon Schama
is a wounded man, his reputation in the academy is totally
destroyed for no good reason.” De Botton appears angry not on his behalf – he seems able
to hold his own corner – but on behalf of his colleagues who
have succumbed to academic back-biting. It’s one thing to
have a programme about philosophy on television, but it’s
another for this programme to have an effect. In today’s
world of auction shows, home-decorating channels and wall-to-wall
reality TV, does he think he has an influence on people’s
lives? “It’s hard to know. I made two series for
Channel 4, I remember after I did [ The Consolations of
Philosophy] one, the essays of Montaigne [featured in the show]
went to number two on Amazon and that hasn’t happened for a
long while. That’s quite fun. That’s, I think, an
achievement. If I’ve made some kind of contribution, however
modest, I think my life hasn’t been completely wasted. I
think one has to remain intrinsically modest about how anyone can
affect anyone, how a book can affect anyone. On a bad day I think
none of it does anything at all.” Can television handle philosophy, which is popularly seen as
either arcane or impossibly difficult? “ Status Anxietyon
Channel 4 is basically an illustrated lecture with examples you
have to compress. You have to whiz through it, throw out a few
ideas. It’s an error if you think that’s all there is
to say about a subject.” While we’re on the topic on
television philosophy, I have one final question I’ve been
dying to ask: Sex and the City – modern feminine philosophy
or glam-TV? De Botton, if he’s surprised by the query,
doesn’t show it, or at least recovers quickly. “I think
it’s an ideological portrait of modern Manhattan womanhood
filled with messages about what’s good and bad. We tend to
measure ourselves according to models we’ve seen on TV and
no doubt it has led some people to evaluate themselves according
to that idea.ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

As vices go, nothing gets the adrenal glands pumping quite as
much as gambling. Thoughts of vats of chocolate and gallons of
liquor might send tingles down your spine; dalliances with the
law might give you kicks; I’m sure sex in public places is
an acquired thrill; but you can’t beat gambling: the
anticipation of wining big – it’s a vice that really
lets you know you’re alive. And so having a flutter, at first sight, is harmless enough.
It won’t add two hundred pounds to your already ample frame,
won’t put you in a coma, won’t get you arrested. But,
as with all vices, if indulged in often enough it will still pave
the way to your ruin. It was with this in mind, and a hundred
quid in my pocket, that I headed to Las Vegas, Mecca for gamblers
the world over. Vegas: the city of vice, the centre of hedonism,
the place to party. Vegas is the celebration of sin. They’ve
made it legal, made it 24 hours, dressed it up with whistles and
bells. There are many great gambling tales set in Vegas, glorious
examples of fortunes won and lost. Kerry Packer, the Australian
Billionaire, once lost $20 million at the Bellagio playing poker
at $200,000 a hand. But of course, there’s a flip side to
the coin; he also won $26 million at blackjack at the MGM Grand.
Bond himself, Sean Connery, once aquired $27,000 (in 1963)
playing Roulette and betting on number seventeen three times in a
row – odds of fifty-thousand to one. It’s the idea of
beating odds like that that gamblers live for. For, as all
hard-core gamblers will tell you, gambling is not about the
money. It’s not even about the win. It’s about the
odds. The psychological impulse behind the drive to bet is the sense
of achievement and victory at beating the house. Without the
chance of losing, wining would mean nothing. And the bigger the
odds the bigger the victory rush. An old episode of the Twilight
Zone showed this perfectly: a gambler, having lost all his life,
dies and in the afterlife finds himself once again at the gaming
tables. He’s delighted to discover that he wins every hand
he plays. Then his delight begins to wear off. He can’t
lose. The ‘gamble’ has been taken away from him. He is
in Hell: destined to spend eternity playing the same game with
the same result. Without the chance to lose, all the
gratification of winning has been taken away. It’s an empty
victory. This poses an interesting question about human nature and the
nature of happiness. Most people (bar the odd sadomasochist)
would, given the opportunity, wish to be happy for the rest of
their lives. But would that really be Heaven? Perhaps we need the
lows in life to have the highs. Perhaps without them life would
flatten out into a serious of meaningless moments, accentuated
and heightened by nothing. Remember that when you’ve just
been dumped, your tutor says you’re the dumbest student
he’s ever had and you’re forced to spend your summer
working in MacDonald’s to pay your tuition fees while the
rest of friends are sunning themselves on a beach in Maui. Tell
yourself that these moments are the necessary stones that’ll
pave your way to the days of utter bliss and joy ahead of you.
It’ll be small consolation no doubt, but consolation
nonetheless. In Vegas every gambler I met could instantly be put into one
of these two categories: hard-core – those in it for the
odds, and soft-core – those in it for the money. The sort of
people who played the tables hoping to make their fortunes are
the same sorts who play the National Lottery. This is not
gambling. No self-respecting gambler would play odds of 14
million to one. The odds have to mean something. And the lottery
winner doesn’t jump up and down screaming “I’ve
beaten the odds, what a sense of achievement!” unlike those
who aim at cheating the system. They jump up and screaming
“I’m a f***ing millionaire!” And every week the
other five million or so unfortunates who didn’t win tell
themselves they’ll have better luck next time. It is often said, with much justification, that the National
Lottery is a tax on the stupid. There was also a third category
in Vegas: the ludicrously rich. These are those sad folks who
have so much money they have a hard time spending it. Once
they’ve bought all the fast cars they can reasonably drive
in a lifetime, a couple of Leer jets, and a small island in the
South Pacific, they turn to other things: trading their millions
for a few seconds of thrills. As with US shock-jock, Howard Stern, who attempted to place a
$1 million bet on a single hand of blackjack. Unfortunately for
him he had to squander his wealth elsewhere since every gaming
house in Vegas refused to take the bet. However you choose to
waste your money, remember this: gambling is only a mug’s
game if you actually expect to win.ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

Salivating at the delicious prospect of Cherwell’s unveiling of the dark, seedy underbelly of Oxford? We always knew it was there, just under the surface of the squeaky clean G and Ds and tame Park End exterior; and this particular vice is a deeper, more powerful force than any old run of the mill, passe illegal vice you can think of.
Before the pressures of Oxford life, we never knew the true value of msn messenger, the hidden joy of drinking coffee or the real function of the pub: ways of delaying the inevitable pain of sitting at our desks and facing the mountain of work that has been building up since minus 0th week.
Delve under the surface of our seemingly hard working student base and you will find a community of hard-core procrastinators addicted to its guilty pleasures. The acute procrastinator is the person who does in fact go to the library, but sits writing lists of all the things they must do before they go to bed or the Top Ten episodes of the Simpsons that cannot be missed. When it’s finished, they will, they assure you, write their essay, but you find them still there a day later finishing a box set dvd season of 24.
However, we can all relax, because our collective problem has been diagnosed, defined, and finally made a real excuse by friendly scientists who are on our side. Hooray! Psychologists have become interested in this widespread phenomenon and have come up with a technical definition of procrastination: ‘to delay voluntarily an intended course of action despite expecting to be worse off for the delay’.
It seems that, despite all our efforts to be individuals, there are in fact only two types of worker – firstly the irritating and universally hated type who can be found in the Bodleian five minutes after their tutorial, finishes their work with two days to spare and then, comically, worries about having not done enough and frightens the rest of us in the process.
Then there is the procrastinator. Apparently some are lucky enough to be relaxed about the whole thing, and do their laundry at 5am rather than their essay, with no trace of anxiety.
For the rest of us, the miserable effects of a looming deadline; that panic stricken feeling and the familiar wail of ‘I’m so stupid! Why didn’t I write my essay instead of spending all night rearranging my CDs into genre sections?’ has been labelled with the comfortingly scientific term ‘voluntary action delay anxiety syndrome’.
True. Unfortunately, although this may give us some leverage with despairing tutors (it may be particularly helpful to label your affliction VADAS, to make it sound more severe) there is as yet no miracle cure.
So what are you going to do now; read Cherwell one more time, go for a drink or make a start on that essay?ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004 

Can you summarise The Stills’ sound for the uninitiated?
Our sound is probably romantic pop-rock; melodic with lots of big
choruses. What’s your fantasy festival line up?
It would be pretty close to the Coachella Festival bill that
we’re playing in California. The Pixies, Radiohead and The
Cure are all there. Plus we’d have Pavement and Wilco. Who have been the biggest influences on the band?
The whole band like The Smiths, The Clash and The Jesus and Mary
Chain, but we all have different personal tastes as well. What
are the best and worst things about touring? The best thing about
touring is not having a 9 to 5 job, and the highlight of every
day is playing the show at night. The worst is the routine that
you get into; travelling, soundchecking, living in hotels.
We’ve had eight months straight being on the road playing
gigs. It gets pretty gruelling. What is the best gig that you’ve ever been to?
There’s a few: Radiohead at the Metropolis in Montreal, it
was about a week after they released OK Computer. More recently,
Evan Dando’s solo tour where he played lots of Lemonheads
classics. What’s the most memorable thing that’s been thrown
on stage during a Stills gig?
We’ve had underwear thrown on the stage, which is pretty
cool, except they belonged to a guy – I think one of our
friends had set us up. Thankfully people that have seen us
haven’t hated us enough to throw beer bottles or anything! The sex, drugs and rock- ’n’roll lifestyle: is it a
myth or a reality?
I don’t know! For us it’s a bit of a myth, but plenty
of bands have indulged in it. Motley Crue have done some wild
stuff. I don’t think it’s as available as it used to
be. If you could play with any musician, living or dead, who would
it be?
Slash from Guns’n’Roses, it’d be a lot of fun,
he’s a classic rock and roll star. I started playing guitar
when I was 12 or 13, when G’n’R were huge and all the
kids were playing riffs from Appetite for Destruction. Where do you want to be in 10 years time?
If it all goes right, we’ll have made a few timeless albums
that people really understand and are unashamed to listen to. And finally, Greg from The Stills, what’s the stupidest
question you’ve ever been asked in an interview?
I’ve been asked whether I prefer Crest or Colgate
toothpaste. And what was the answer?
Whatever’s in the bathroom at the time!ARCHIVE: 0th week TT 2004