Sunday 27th July 2025
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Confessions of a Drama Queen: My University Career Begins

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After discovering myself in South East Asia, I have finally found my spiritual home at Oxford University, the great land of my forbearers – and it only took two applications! Still, who doesn’t love a gap year?

Michael Palin, Rosamund Pike, that guy who was in Four Weddings and a Funeral… how privileged I feel to follow in their footsteps at this almighty institution, where I plan on dedicating my life to the stage and scraping by with a 2:2. This shouldn’t be too difficult, I am studying English after all.

I’ve already secured my first audition, for a play called Hedda Gabbler. I hadn’t heard of it, but friends tell me it’s quite good. I’m sure once I show up to an audition they will recognise my natural talent at once and immediately cast me as Hedda – assuming I’ve understood the Wikipedia page correctly, and ‘Hedda’ is actually the name of the main character, and not some kind of Scandinavian slang to do with blow jobs. I don’t want to boast, but I was actually once in an advert for Dairylea Dunkers, so I reckon I should have this audition nailed.

I’ve also made an Instagram account and put in the bio that I’m a “model”. (It isn’t technically a lie, as in year 10 my friend asked me to play Marilyn Monroe in her Film Studies coursework, which definitely counts.)

Anyway, I must go and learn Hedda’s main monologue, and Facebook stalk the auditions event to analyse the competition. I’ve had a look, and it seems like the done thing here is
to update your profile picture to a really badly-edited promotional image from the last production you’ve been involved in. Consequently, I’ve added ‘Fairfield Nativity, 2007’ to my own, along with a gross orange filter.

Fear not, I’ll update you on my progress a week hence, but I think we all know: I will be getting the part. Until next week, then. Adieu, fair readers! Adieu.

Cyrano de Bergerac preview – “heartwarming and heartbreaking”

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Cyrano de Bergerac, a skilled poet and swordsman, is head over heels in love with his beautiful cousin Roxane. Be it composing poems to her beauty or courageous duels in her honour, his existence centres around her happiness. In return, she adores Cyrano and there is clearly a connection between the two. Perfect, roll on the romance, except… he has a ginormous nose and so believes she could ever love him. Yep, really.

Sam Norman and Aaron King’s adaptation of this well-loved seventeenth century French legend is packed full of original songs written in partnership with the composer of Les Mis and Miss Saigon reminds us that Cyrano de Bergerac is responsible for introducing the word “panache” into the English language. From a chase scene between husband and wife to a dramatic ode to a cinnamon bun, each scene is performed with energy and emotion and each song is wonderfully captivating.  James Bruce plays a sympathetic, entertaining and ultimately bathetic Cyrano whose relationship with Roxane (Greta Thompson) is genuine, affectionate, complex and difficult, especially once Christian (Liam Sargeant) is on the scene. Many of the more emotionally complex scenes centre around these characters. The Compte de Guiche (Alex Buchanan), by contrast, is perfectly devilish and performs one of the musical’s most entertaining yet equally intense songs, ‘Tedious’, with style and ease. As a cast they work well at maintaining energy and capturing the audience’s attention.

Cyrano de Bergerac is a myth made musical, both heart-warming and heart-breaking, but always entertaining. Rosie Richards (director) has successfully balanced naturalism with a complex and vibrant performance, stating that her aim was to make three-dimensional, empathetic characters to tell this hilarious yet tragic tale. The music is brilliant, the script charmingly astute and whether you like action, music or comedy this looks like a performance not to miss.

Cyrano de Bergerac is playing at the Keble O’Reilly, Oxford, 25-28th 7.30 (+2.30 on Saturday) – tickets available at https://www.ticketsource.co.uk/nk-productions

 

Alain de Botton: “The university system is failing people”

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Alain de Botton started his career with the philosophically charged novel Essays In Love, but now his broad range of work crosses genres from architecture to psychology, and most recently has attempted to teach people to develop emotional intelligence through The School of Life. In an era of specialization, de Botton is uniquely polymathic.

In his books, and most recently his series of YouTube videos, de Botton draws upon what thinkers, and philosophers over time have argued about love, work, and purpose in life. Although this has placed him on the receiving end of criticism from traditional academics, who desire the esoteric to remain so, his unpretentious inclusion of and engagement with philosophers has helped build his large audience within a younger generation. Does he see himself mediating and interpreting the often impenetrable, like Nietzsche, to the masses? His response is surprising: “I have no real interest in Nietzsche himself, or philosophy itself, or any of these great thinkers themselves, I simply see them as a resource to exploit in order to mine potentially interesting ideas.

“Academics and the whole academic superstructure see themselves as very much having a responsibility to people who lived hundreds of years ago, and they see their life as trying to recover what so and so actually said, and what so and so actually meant.”

But, he tells me: “That’s not really my project at all, I don’t really care what they meant. What I’m more interested in is how what they said is of relevance to me and how I see the world. So I think that’s different from writing a Wikipedia entry on a thinker, which is a valuable project but not really the one I’m engaged on.

“I’m trying to develop my own thinking, by sharpening it against the insights of other people.”

In fact, de Botton sees these prohibitive “academic superstructures” across the whole university system. “I think in the humanities, the current university system fails about 60% of people, because what it does is to excite, by using these amusing cultural figures, who really did want to change the world, help us to live, and open up our eyes.

“But then the academic system more or less just kills it by forcing one to do very weird things with these people, with no idea what these cultural figures themselves were up to. Nietzsche wouldn’t have gone to university to study Nietzsche, Shelley wouldn’t have gone to university to study Shelley, it’s paradoxical that we’re doing something, which however respectful it seems, is actually a betrayal of the figures that one studies.”

Instead, de Botton proposes “dismantling” the current university system. He would make a “big change” and “change what people are rewarded for.” “Given that most young people go to university particularly to study the humanities – broadly speaking, to learn how to live – people should be rewarded for how well they have achieved that. This would mean that they are better teachers, better writers, better communicators – not just at the level of language, but picking up on what the real sources of distress and curiosity might be in the audience that they’re dealing with. The system of incentive should be geared towards that.”

Despite his fascination with the great names of philosophy, de Botton advocates a “massively redesigned” curriculum which questions “some notional idea of the canon, which is often full of really quite peculiar choices, which hasn’t been interrogated for many, many decades.”

He views philosophy as a vehicle for public virtue: “I am keen on the concept of relevance, which is a very frightening word for most academics, because they immediately think that one means they should make some money, whereas I think it means that they should help some people.”

Despite a Double First from Cambridge, and a Masters in philosophy from King’s College London, de Botton eventually packed in his PhD in French philosophy at Harvard in favour of writing books that have sold millions of copies.

When asked what the future holds for philosophy, he did not hold back. “The future for academic philosophy is I think, very bleak. I think it’s fated to be a completely marginalized subject, studied by a few die hard people, and it will essentially have no relevance and no import to society, and that’s tragic really.

“Kant thought that philosophers should be legislators to the world, Plato thought that philosophers should become kings, Emmanuel Macron who studied under Paul Ricoeur thought philosophy was the ideal grounding for a statesman.

“There are very many people who have made grand claims for philosophy, but I don’t see those being honoured in modern academic philosophy.

“But that said, in a way the salvation might come from a slightly unusual place – which is ordinary people’s ordinary curiosity in philosophy, and that’s powered, and changed what people think philosophers might be up to.

“Ultimately the definition of a philosopher is up for grabs, and we need to move away from the notion that a philosopher is someone who is going to tell you about Hegel and reference Descartes, and move towards a new model that a philosopher is really anyone who is trying to work through the great questions of life, and that can encompass a psychologist, an economist, even a journalist, anyone who is thinking rationally in small, logical steps with care and intelligence, is really in the meritocratic sense a philosopher.

“The professionalization of the subject, and the fetishism around referencing, has I think, been really unhelpful to the wider take up of the subject.”

De Botton’s School of Life is his attempt to change the role of philosophy in public life. It now has branches in London, Amsterdam, Paris, Melbourne and Seoul among many more around the world, and sells highly-priced hard-back books and ‘career prompt cards’.

He says despite its growth, his vision has remained consistent. “The goals are always the same, we’ve got better at what we’re doing. The main idea was to go beyond books, and create a home for ideas that might be in books as well, but give them a kind of resonant form by ensuring that they could exist in many different formats, including film or a pack of cards, or an event, or a set of programs for people in offices.

“So it’s kind of trying to amplify ideas and I’m very influenced by what religions are up to, and what impresses me is not their content but their form, and their ambition to touch us simply in a one on one experience like a book, but also to try and touch us through communal actions.”

The School of Life is now expanding its activities to include news, psychotherapy, and even a porn site. De Botton sees no limits to his vision of philosophy as a force for the common good: “Through music, through architecture, through the senses, through art, in a way to seduce us into being certain sorts of people, and that’s obviously a very dodgy sounding idea, but it’s got a lot of valuable things to it.

“So if you like, the School of Life is really an attempt to mirror some elements of religion, but using cultural content to hold people in a more engaged way through the process of living.”

What has happened to the north-west derby?

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The media circus was as strong as ever. Two titans of English football, Liverpool and Manchester United, were set to clash in the weekend’s biggest fixture. It was a match-up
between two clubs steeped in history, and one of the biggest rivalries in the world game.

However, the last four encounters have been draws, two of them goalless. Since 2016, there have been six games and only seven goals.

Like most great rivalries, there is more to this than just the success of the two clubs. The proximity of the two major cities they represent, together with their historic economic and industrial rivalry stretching back to the nineteenth century, adds another dimension to this match, on top of their success and support. Both of them can claim historical supremacy over the other, with United achieving more league titles, but Liverpool more often the champions of Europe.

However, the clash has not been much of a spectacle for a while – especially since Mourinho took over at United. His team came to Anfield, sat deep, and took the point. The visitors defended well as a team, and when Liverpool did threaten, David de Gea made some great saves. Liverpool came across as the more dominant side, and did well to take Romelu Lukaku out of the game, who completed fewer passes than even Liverpool’s goalkeeper Simon Mignolet.

Admittedly, neither side was at full strength, with several key players missing. But while Liverpool dominated for the most part and probably performed better, the game went Mourinho’s way. Fans want to see an electric, end-to-end game between these two clubs, but this is never going to happen when games keep going this way. But this reflects the harsh realities of the Premier League. In a division where clubs must scrap for every point, is Mourinho not right to set up as he always has in big games? What is for certain is that unless the ex-Chelsea boss departs anytime soon, it will be some time before the fixture’s magic is rekindled.

The college system defines the Oxford experience – it must remain in place

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The threat of feeling insignificant in Oxford is eased by the college system. Identification with colleges is arguably stronger than with the university itself. Colleges are like cosy, more intimate versions of the university. Colleges were created centuries ago by monks searching for universal truth. Now you can buy college mugs and keyrings, scarves and anything that can be mass-produced and sold. The sense of identity, which colleges foster is profound.

Colleges allow you to live a simple life in Oxford, a concept the Danish call Hygge. Before coming to Oxford, I knew no-one here. Before arriving at Trinity, my first interactions with people here were on offer-holder groups – I look back on those times with curled toes. College made me feel like I belong.

Imposter syndrome felt so strong that even as I write this I’m shuddering. You’re at the best university in the country, but so are 20,000 other people. Colleges were always the chief selling point for me. Even the endless barrage of the blue-and-white university logo seems distant and impersonal when compared with the sense of community with which colleges instill you. Oxford can’t afford to lose this.

The colleges and the university work in concert. From matriculation to graduation, the role of the university is clear, but between these grand ceremonies, the colleges are key. Oxford is strengthened by the relationship between the colleges and the university. Life is arranged around college, whichever one of the 38 of them you go to. College is one of the less intimidating parts of Oxford as a student.

It’s true you have the Boat Race, but college rowing is what people are always talking about. What else could possess people to get up at the crack of dawn, if not bringing glory to your college, and the fear of an ignominious defeat at the hands of another?

The great American universities – Harvard, Stanford, Yale et cetera, don’t have collegiate sysstems in the way we do. They may be higher ranked, wealthier even, but I wouldn’t trade the collegiate system for those things.

Oxford’s college system is a masterful parceling out of what can be a daunting experience. It was my first and only way to make sense of this university, especially given its role in such things as college families and trashing post-exams.

Only the familiarity of the college system has prompted my feeling of contentment in second year. Homely and supportive, the college system is the most wonderful thing about Oxford.

Meet Woolf’s doll house inspiration

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A miniaturised book, no larger than a thumb, written by Vita Sackville-West, is to be published early next week. Originally written in 1922, the tiny volume was kept in the Queen Mary’s Doll’s House, a 1:12 scale replica of an Edwardian house, along with works by other eminent authors such as Thomas Hardy, J.M. Barrie and Arthur Conan Doyle. Entitled A Note of Explanation, the novel was written exclusively for the project, and has never before been published.

Vita Sackville-West, a close friend and possible lover of Virginia Woolf, was said to have inspired Woolf’s parody-biographical novel Orlando. Elements of the gender-shifting protagonist were mirrored in Sackville-West’s own life and behaviour – she was known to cross-dress and had multiple male alter egos, the most well-known of which was Julian. Woolf even went so far as to dedicate the novel to her.

A Note of Explanation is a charming tale of a sprite who inhabits the Queen Mary’s Doll’s House, unobserved by the guests and Queen Mary. She fulfils a similar role to Woolf’s Orlando character, time-travelling through fairy tale history, and observing many of the major moments, such as Cinderella’s Ball, the creation of Aladdin’s palace and the kiss that awakens Sleeping Beauty. She has made a home for herself in this miniature palace, and the novel follows her delightful antics.

The new edition of A Note of Explanation will be a more easily readable 25cm x 17.5cm, featuring an afterword by Sackville-West’s biographer, Matthew Dennison. The Queen Mary’s Doll’s House collection is held at Windsor Castle, and available for visitators. The book, according to the Royal Collection Trust, “reveals that Vita came up with a similar conception at least four years before Woolf began Orlando.”

Crete’s mountain musician of mystery

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I saw Psarantonis play only once, at the Amari Valley music festival almost a year ago, in a tiny mountain village on the isle of Crete surrounded by the peaks of Kedros and the towering Psiloritis. He arrived late, staggeringly drunk, glaring out at the crowd and his fellow musicians from beneath a shaggy expanse of hair and beard.

Sitting hunched over like a gnarled olive tree in the middle of the stage with his lyra – a graceful three stringed, bowed instrument, not to be confused with the harp-like lyre of ancient Greece – he began slowly to play a traditional ritizika song, a slow historical narrative about the deeds of the mighty dead, tales which his native island has in abundance.

In between berating his fellow musicians and violently bash- ing his lyra, the septuagenarian growled ferociously into the mi- crophone in his thick Cretan dia- lect, roaring ‘my roots are eagles, I will have the light of the heavens’, as the bagpipes droned on and the thundering drums struggled to keep apace. There is truly no experience in music quite like a Psarantonis performance.

His appearance of a mountain man is no deceit, Psarantonis is a native of Anogeia (literally “high-ground”) a large village on the northern slopes of Crete’s tallest mountain; razed to the ground by Nazi forces during the occupation for harbouring mountain rebels and British spies.

Indeed “mountain rebels” is the title of one of his most intriguing works. This evokes the defiance of Crete’s heroic wartime resist- ance (the Cretans were the only civilian population to engage in armed resistance against the Nazis without an army) a struggle often overlooked in histories of the war. But it also refrences the island’s seven-century long struggle against foreign oppression at the hands of the Ottomans and the Venetians.

In the song most representative of his style, the spectacular ‘Dias’, Psarantonis masterfully builds up scratchy, almost dissonant layers of lyra melodies into a tempestuous, frenzied wall of sound. As the song reaches its wildest and most unrestrained, a voice begins to emerge from the vortex of sound, clambering out like Zeus himself from the Diktean cave.

This voice is inexpressibly rough. If some speak with a gravel- like voice, Psarantonis’ is a cliff of sheer limestone. It is a voice of a parched shepherd, the war-cry of an ancient warrior, a man bellowing at God.

In a place where people are constitutionally mistrustful of politicians and intellectuals, Psarantonis is something of a legend. The religious, historical, and mythological subject matter of his songs, the connection to deep musical traditions and his undeniable authenticity are hugely appealing to generations of Cretans who have begun to lose touch with the way of life practised on that island since the times of the Minoans.

In the eyes of many he already sits in the pantheon of Crete’s greatest sons, rivalling the great Nikos Kazantzakis and Domé- nikos Theotokópoulos (known to the western world as El Greco) as an artistic titan. Considering that Cretans can number Zeus, Ariadne, and king Minos amongst their number, this is no mean feat.

Three Parallel Places review – “a bit all over the place”

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New writing is always an exciting prospect, particularly when the concept behind the play is so very daring, bold and imaginative. Indeed, it cannot be denied that Hannah Chilver-Vaughan’s Three Parallel Places lacked boldness or imagination; rather, the crux of the problem, for me, was how this intricately detailed world of imagination transferred to the stage.

Aesthetically, the play was stunning on-stage: the array of flowers hanging from the ceiling, the rectangle of immaculately green grass and the wonderful simplicity, almost ghostliness, of clear acrylic furniture all captured my attention, promising the audience a beautiful performance from the very pre-set onwards. Costumes, which underwent a transformation from an innocent white palette to a much more dark, sombre yet resplendent one, were immaculately designed also. So, I would be lying if I said this attention to artistic detail didn’t impress me or that the very nature of Ms Chilver-Vaughan’s epic endeavour didn’t intrigue me as an expectant audience member.

However, beauty and grandeur must be put to one side. I chose to go to see a play, not to look at a painting, and I felt that the play lost its way slightly as the convolutions of plot left me feeling rather confused, underwhelmed and to quote the audience member to my right, “a bit all over the place”. Fundamentally, the basis of the play was strong and the concept of three parallel worlds – Earth, Egalitaria and Autocratia – had the potential to provide a subtle political critique or social commentary that left me feeling that my own view of the world I inhabit had been questioned, tested and challenged.

It certainly did feel that reality was attempting to break through the fantasy element of the play during Omega’s (Alex Blanc) well-executed monologue which drew inspiration from the recklessness of ‘rich kids’ growing up in a limitless world of plenty at the expense of morality, goodness and truth. However, this was one of the few moments in the play that dealt with ‘earth as we know it’ and thus seemed ingenious but out of place. On the whole, the play lacked pace and a sense of direction which meant that the clever and passionate heart of the plot got slightly lost amid rather long and winding scenes which created as many problems as they solved.

The actors dealt well with a demanding script and at times, some quite heart-wrenching performances were given. Particular mention should go to Arun Somanathan, who took on the role of the golden child Antipars, and acted with subtlety at the play’s end, offering a more heartfelt performance as perhaps the only character that inspired any sense of pathos from the audience.

As for comedy, Jon Berry must be congratulated for his comic timing and wit. Mr Berry provided both light relief and integrity as a comic actor in his role as the Watch – his physicality was well-developed and his energy remarkable. Even with few lines as George, Mr Berry made the most of the mantra ‘acting is reacting’ in his scenes with Ambrosia, portrayed with commitment by Esme Sanders as a rather annoying, pleasure-seeking girl who matured into a desperate, exasperated young woman.

Ultimately, the play’s foundations had great potential and Ms Chilver-Vaughan delivered a memorable production – a production that I wish had spent slightly less time on aesthetic and slightly more on the delivery of lines, the subtlety of emotional expression and the power of non-verbal communication in moments of stillness.

College football mind-games

As any elite-level athlete will tell you, preparation is of paramount importance. Naturally, this is no different in the case of college football. Indeed, with their hectic academic, extra-curricular and social schedules crammed into Oxford’s eight-week terms, players are under immense pressure to ensure that they are in the best possible condition for every game. Managers in the so-called ‘professional’ game always complain about fixture saturation, yet they have never had to organise their week to accommodate a game, essay deadline, tute and bop. The ability of college footballers to integrate their pre-match preparation into an already busy schedule is a testament to their own professionalism.

Obviously, it is absolutely vital for players to keep their bodies in peak condition, so that even when matches are brought forward last minute, they will always be able to rely on their fitness. It is something of a trade secret that one of the most effective ways to prepare the body for 90 minutes of high-intensity sporting excellence is to oversleep on the morning of the game.

If the lie-in is long enough, not only does it aid recovery from the inevitable visit to Park End the night before, it also ensures that the journey to the sports fields is less of a walk and more of a slightly exasperated-looking jog. This provides players with a warm-up before they even reach the ground, giving them an initial physical edge and a subsequent psychological one, as their less conscientious opponents become disheartened by their evident preparation. To the uninitiated, this tactic might seem suspect due to the risk of missing the team warm-up, but the ‘en route’ warm-up has one clear advantage: it does not take place in full view of the opposition. Why persevere through a meticulous training programme just to let the other team know what you’re all about straight away? Some of the greatest success stories of college football have been built on a minimalist attitude to training.

With so much to think about, mental preparation is just as important as physical. Despite the intellectual rigours of the tutorial system, preparing for a title decider is the toughest mental challenge that college footballers will face during their time in Oxford. It is important for players to maintain a high level of mental fitness for such occasions, and this can be achieved by performing certain exercises, such as thinking about college football at every opportunity. Any captain worth his salt will integrate these exercises into his daily routine, so that they hardly seem like exercise at all. Sitting in the library, apparently pouring over a problem sheet, their mind will in fact be occupied by thoughts on the next game. Or perhaps stuck at the back of a lecture, they might sketch out a couple of potential formations. To 4-3-3 or not to 4-3-3?

Beneath Oxford’s spires, the old adage that a game is won before the teams even step onto the pitch, certainly rings true.

Newly created synthetic antibody tackles 99% of HIV strands

A recent experiment performed by the US National Institutes of Health and pharmaceutical company Sanofi could have just given the human race its best weapon yet in the fight against HIV. By combining three natural HIV-fighting antibodies, the researchers created a new treatment that tackles 99% of the virus’ different strains. This kind of broad attack is essential for combating the virus, since it takes many forms and is known to mutate very quickly. In tests on monkeys, the new treatment prevented infection in all of 24 subjects that were injected with HIV. The researchers published their results in Science on the 20 September.

The Science paper reports that HIV-attacking antibodies have been isolated before, having been extracted from patients whose bodies are fighting the virus. These broadly neutralising antibodies, referred to as bnAbs, have shown an impressive ability to combat HIV in multiple different forms and different levels of strength, and since 2010 many of them have been taken to the clinical trial stage.

However, they are not ideal. Every HIV patient has a different combination of strains, and the antibodies extracted will only be equipped to deal with a certain number of them. Even with the best natural antibodies, which combat up to 90% of current strains, most patients will have some form of the virus which resists treatment.

What makes the situation worse is that HIV is one of the fastest evolving entities in the world, due to its high rate of mutation. New varieties of the virus are constantly arising, and treating a patient with antibodies that only tackle some strains can speed up the evolutionary process by promoting those strains which are resistant. This means that a patient who is given natural antibodies could end up developing an even worse case of HIV than they had before.

In this new study, the researchers experimented by combining the abilities of two, then three different natural antibodies into one. The resulting “trispecific antibodies” were able to block the process of infection at three different places, covering an incredible 99% of strains, according to Dr Gary Nabel, the chief scientific officer at Sanofi. This means that the treatment is much more likely to prevent infection in a given patient than any currently known natural antibody, and this fact is reflected in the researchers’ successful tests on primates. The first human trials are scheduled for next year.

Responses from health organisations have ranged from intrigue to wild excitement, especially over the prospect of seeing clinical trials so soon. The president of the International Aids Society, Professor Linda-Gail Bekker, told the BBC that the research is “an exciting breakthrough”, and that there is an “urgency to confirm these findings in humans as soon as possible”, since the virus currently takes so many lives around the world.

HIV is one of the most persistent health problems across the world, since it has proved very difficult to treat and it attacks the body’s immune system, making sufferers very vulnerable to other diseases including cancers. According to the CDC, 36.7 million people were found to be living with HIV last year, and 1 million people died from illnesses related to AIDS, the most advanced stage of HIV.

This means that advances like the NIH’s and Sanofi’s new antibody, if they prove successful in next year’s trials, could save hundreds of thousands of lives.