The Cherwell Encyclical: HT 5th Week

I can understand why picking your kids up from school could be quite a stressful experience, what with the responsibility of making sure they don’t kill each other or burn the house down. At a primary school in Manchester, the head teacher has had to ask parents to stop smoking marijuana at the school gates after it was noticed by several older pupils. Presumably this would also explain why the parent committee at the same school recently opted to install seventy eight unicorns in the library.

This week also saw the un-momentous occasion that is the No. 10 charity bake off, and in light of the Manchester incident David Cameron has taken the opportunity to assure the press that there was no cannabis added to any of his baked goods. Though with the Lib Dems plans to legalise the drug, it is perhaps unsurprising that judges described Nick Clegg’s entry as “chill” and “deep”. There are reports of a slight moment of tension during the competition though, as George Osborne was said to be very adamant that everyone only took their fair share of the cake, and gave him part of their slice as part of his spare room tax. He later referred to Paul Hollywood as a “greedy scrounger”, after he did not bring a cake of his own.

There was some surprise in the media at the discovery of the love letters from Pope John Paul II to a married woman. It would appear that in writing love letters (and surname), the Pope and I have much in common. Unfortunately, unlike him, I am still waiting for replies. I am hoping number 472 will be the lucky one.

The most exciting thing to happen this week was undoubtably when the Daily Telegraph copied my ‘deal or no deal’ blog post from 3rd week for their front page. I would have been flattered, but unfortunately it was 2 weeks late and not nearly thirty percent as funny.

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