The tension was building, emotions were running high: it had to be the Catz JCR minutes before Thursday’s table football crunch match against Teddy Hall Seconds. It all began with some cunning stunts: three Catz sirens were dispatched to the Lodge to pick up the opposition, thus ensuring lack of blood flow to their heads at kick-off. The house band was instructed to sound a drum roll. Teddy Hall could feel their coming execution in their bones.
First up the Catz General Secretary and Treasurer took to the floor, focusing sharply against the din of the raucous home crowd and the obligatory vodka shots. Eyes narrowed and heart rates quickened as up stepped the Goliaths of Teddy Hall, but these were men with a lot of wrist action in the last few days: ten minutes later the battle was over. First blood to Catz. Courtney Yusuf was a constant verbal menace whilst Grace Smith used her knowledge of the rules to outlawyer them.
After a few boring games it all built up to the ecstatic climax, the final match on which it all rested: Treasurer Sam Briggs vs. The Ginger Bloke From Teddy Hall. A rapid pass from defence to attack, Briggs bursting into the box like it was a Hassan’s takeaway. .. and BAM!! It’s all over! Catz are on top of the world! Teddy Hall are crying like girls! Why did we care about table football? Why were we dressed in full football kit? How did they develop real football from its original status as a table based game? All these questions seemed irrelevant against the backdrop of our delirium.
