Grumpy Young Men – Oxford Nightlife

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Oxford, bang in the middle of London and Bristol, never really stood a chance. The closest thing it has to a superclub is Park End; its edgiest nights take place in a tiny basement with a stripper’s pole in the corner. It’s fair to say that you don’t choose Oxford for the nightlife.

Clubbing in Oxford rapidly begins to resemble groundhog day – the people are all the same, the music is all the same, the clubs are all the same (if you’re one of those that didn’t even know there were other clubs than Camera). As students, we’re pretty set in our ways (other than the day Camera replaced Kukui for Tuesdays, that change is still pretty legendary). You have your nights, probably picked in first week of Freshers’ and by god you’re sticking to them.

Clubbing in Oxford also seems to come with an added sense of superiority when you’re clutching your double vodka red bull. Whether it’s the VIP area at Camera, the VIP area at Bridge (an area so VIP that the coke comes out of the bottle at twice the price) or simply the VIP sense of smugness you get from the crowd at Baby Love, there is probably more ego than ethanol at most of these places. However, when it comes to Park End, ethanol definitely has pride of place. To be honest, nobody is under any pretences of being important when they’re one of 500 people trying to dance to ‘Drop It Like It’s Hot’, whilst someone dry retches onto their back.

As if to make them seem like the most popular nightclubs this side of the Balearics, every club is filled to capacity. Baby Love rapidly resembles a Sauna and Camera’s smoking area becomes an oxygen haven.

One final thing, have you seen them in the day? Wahoo does a delightful array of food, although it doesn’t look like they’ve managed to get the customer part of the equation. Bridge? It looks like Jigsaw’s hideout.

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