Glitz, glamour, and glorifying stattos – the NFL Draft is an occasion with few parallels. Last Thursday saw the eagerly-awaited 2013 edition, where the 32 NFL teams pick the cream of the college talent. Intriguingly, they do this in order of performance over the last season, with the worst-performing team going first.
After last year’s stellar quarterbacks Andrew Luck, Robert Griffin III and the third-round ‘sleeper’ Russell Wilson, this year was comparatively low-key. The ‘big boys’ were the main attraction with offensive tackles Eric Fisher and Luke Joeckel going at one and two to the Kansas City Chiefs and Jacksonville Jaguars respectively. The New York Jets were at their usual spotlight-hogging, having a sensible first day but then drafting the combustible quarterback Geno Smith to bring their set of plausible QB starters up to six.
For the first time in a while, there were some British hopefuls on Draft day. Menelik Watson, the beast of an offensive tackle who grew up in Longsight, Manchester, was drafted in the second round by the Oakland Raiders. Olympian Lawrence Okoye declined an offer to study law at Oxford and join the University Lancers in favour of the money, women and glory of the toughest league in the world. Picked up by the San Francisco 49ers, he will have a lot of work to do to get anywhere near the starting team. Still, he should be encouraged by his coach Jim Harbaugh declaring that he is ‘an Adonis’.
A poor Draft class it may have been, but one thing on which the Draft never disappoints is its provision of high-quality characters, such as Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te’o. The Hawaii-born heavyweight had been having a remarkable college season, made all the more impressive by playing on despite his grandmother and girlfriend dying on the same day in September. But it then transpired that he had never met his girlfriend in the flesh, even while she died a slow death from leukaemia.
This was subsequently topped by the small matter of her non-existence; Mantiwas the victim of a hoax concocted by one of his former high school classmates. Drafted by the Chargers, the eyes of an amused yet appalled American public will be on him next season.
As always, there were hilarious names aplenty. The Cleveland Browns, themselves in possession of possessing the worst team name on Earth, brought in Jamoris Slaughter and Barkevious Mingo. Elsewhere, the pantheon of miraculous monikers included Alonzo Tweedy, Bacarri Rambo, Rodrick Rumble and Tyrone Laughinghouse. Even the last player to be picked in the entire Draft, added to this trend – opposition players will have the law laid down on them by Justice Cunningham next year.
John Terry is boring in comparison.The NFL Draft has once again proved itself to be one of the most sublime and ridiculous events in the world sporting calendar. We Brits can scoff at the hyperbole, laugh at the oversized suits. But we should remember that since 1992 only five teams have won the Prem whereas thirteen have won the Super Bowl. Maybe they’re onto something. Further UKTV coverage could only be a good thing.
