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Time to bump bumps?

The outdated format of Summer VIIIs is unfair, unsafe and terrible to watch. It also represents a huge missed opportu­nity for Oxford college rowing.

Bumps racing can be extremely unfair. I say this as someone who has had both good and bad experiences. Last year as part of M2, our VIIIs campaign was instantly derailed by the incompetence of the crew two places in front of us, a tale that I suspect many veterans of bumps will be familiar with. On the first day, the crew in front of us bumped out within the first 30 seconds of the race and, due to a late surrender and a failure to clear the racing line, the ensuing crash saw two blades broken and a cox hospitalised. To add insult to (very literal) injury, we were bumped by the crew behind us, and remained two places behind the crew whose shortcomings had caused us so much grief.

Having spent the best part of a year working towards Summer VIIIs, putting in many hours of unpleasant training at ungodly times, our chances of winning blades had been wiped out in less than a minute of rowing, through no real fault of our own. A year later, a group of us decided to get a beer boat together for Torpids. Despite the fact that none of us had been in a boat in the year, and were extremely unfit, our reasonable levels of strength and technique made us quick off the start by the standards of our division, and we preceded to bump on all four days, winning blades. Although this was fantastic, I couldn’t help but feel the injustice of it all.

Having all quit rowing, and reduced the tal­ent pool available for our 1st and 2nd boats, we were able to put minimal effort in all year and come out with a prize that will in all likelihood evade those who have invested huge amounts of time and effort in the sport. This failure of the format of VIIIs to provide a level playing field and reliably reward effort and ability with success can only leave a huge problem in terms of motivating people to enter and often leaves a bad taste in the mouths of those that do.

These are not the only problems caused by the current format. Bumps racing is a poor spectator sport, as the majority of the action takes place out of sight. While crowds gather on boat house island, hoping to cheer on their crews, the action is happening about half a mile upstream, with many bumps way before coming into eyeshot of the boathouses. What most see is a procession – bumps in front of the boathouses are extremely rare. This limits the number of people wanting to come and watch, particularly those that do not have a prior interest in rowing.

Then there’s the physical damage that is frequently done both to rowers and equip­ment. Horror stories of hospitalisations and mangled boats costing tens of thousands are so commonplace that I won’t repeat them; I feel that the safety implications of a sport where the objective is to crash boats into each other should speak for themselves.

The most unforgivable aspect of all this is that there is a perfectly viable and preferable alternative. The reason given for bumps rac­ing at Oxford is that the Isis is too narrow to race eights side by side. But this just isn’t true. Side by side racing occurs regularly on the Isis, indeed anyone who learned to row at Oxford will have competed at Christ Church regatta in Michaelmas term, an intercollegiate re­gatta where eights are raced side by side.

I don’t see any reason why this same format – a knockout competition of side by side races held over four days – cannot be used at Sum­mer VIIIs. There would certainly be enough time to hold all the necessary races; although I imagine more crews enter VIIIs than at Christ Church, there are several more hours of day­light in late May than in late November.

This format would be considerably safer, more enjoyable, and more meritocratic. It would make VIIIs an event for the whole uni­versity to enjoy. Sitting on Boathouse Island, there would be races going past every five minutes, instead of the occasional flurry of ex­citement, and disappointment as most bumps happen way upstream. Further, the knockout element of the competition would make it more interesting, and entry more worthwhile.

At present, only five crews are able to win the headship in one given year. Under a knock­out system, the fastest college in Oxford would win the whole competition, and any college that sufficiently got their act together would be in with a chance. This would massively incentivise entry and effort at all colleges, par­ticularly those not traditionally considered big on rowing. There could be parallel compe­titions running for college 2nd boats and beer boats, again where the fastest crew in each category across the whole university would be determined, and every entrant would feel like they could achieve something genuinely special with sufficient effort.

Perhaps bumps racing could be retained at Torpids, and the distinction between the two events would become similar to that of the league and cuppers in most other college sports. However, to continue to persist with this form of racing at VIIIs, purely in the in­terests of tradition and in the face of a viable and preferable alternative, would represent a terrible missed opportunity for the sport.

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