I recently asked someone what their dream job would be, casting aside money, practicality, etc., and their answer was to be a writer. We both immediately acknowledged that this could easily remain a hobby, something to be done here and there. It was like a reflex, our voices shifting from a higher, speculative tone to the lower hum of the ‘harsh reality’ of it all: that this wouldn’t really be a viable full-time career. I couldn’t help feeling like these practical boundaries we felt obliged to mention did nothing but reinforce an invisible barricade preventing true belief. And so I had a think about it.
There’s this idea of a ‘dream job’, one that comes with the insidious undertone that it’s a dream for a reason, that dreams don’t fully belong in the real world. This dangerous underbelly of thought, whilst pretending to repel delusion on the surface, actually just stops us from deeming our dreams truly possible. You might understate your ambitions in attempts at humility, or use self-deprecation as armour against the social threat of arrogance, but believing in yourself has never been more important. In a climate such as our own, with polarising politics and feeds that punctuate our mornings with the comforting ideas that robots, along with their billionaire puppeteers, are preparing to render us extinct, backing yourself and your talents, especially as women, is a skill that divides opinion, but one that couldn’t be more pertinent.
At a university like Oxford, the origins of this ‘backing’ vary quite spectacularly from person to person. Some learn in childhood – or indeed in private education – that they are entitled to the best, that they should aim the highest, and that they must destroy competition at all costs. While it may sometimes seem challenging to befriend people who embrace these attributes, they are qualities that do tend to be conducive to realising ambition. Factors such as geographic location, parental networks, and teaching standards each contribute to the kind of confidence that might be cultivated for a child.
For example, for those wanting to pursue the notoriously inaccessible arts industry, a particular kind of school, with particular kinds of support, may ease the transition into the structure of, say, the Oxford University Dramatic Society (OUDS). This can be a great thing, but it can also mean that those who haven’t been raised in the same environment get to Oxford and struggle to swim in comparison to those buoyed by self-belief and exclusive connections. Now, I am not suggesting that we suddenly revere qualities like entitlement and arrogance, or criticise those who have grown up with these advantages, but I do think it is important to recognise the advantages of a mindset built on self-belief. Of course, there are extremes and, as ever, a nuanced balance of humility and determination is the aim.
Coincidentally, I have recently found myself consuming media that claims there has been no better time to go after your dream career. With AI replacing, putting at risk, or just reinventing a large portion of jobs, it feels as if we’re existing in an onslaught of threats that we’ve never seen before. So why not gamble on something you’re passionate about, when the ‘stability’ of a career predicted by the past becomes a risk regardless?
So… insecure, fearful, and doubting yourself in your twenties? There is little surprise there, and much to blame with the way our world works, but that doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility we have for ourselves. Part of that responsibility is indeed the ambition and drive we have to realise our goals and dreams, but ambition is meaningless without the confidence and belief that these dreams are possible. The two go together like bread and butter; ambition fades quickly when you don’t let yourself believe. It then becomes a reminder of everything you can’t do, instead of actionable goals that you deserve to achieve, and indeed, have the ability to.
Feelings of doubt are very normal, and very common even – so I’m told. But I think we owe it to ourselves to try and alleviate these doubts for our future selves. The self-help books were right: self-love is of the utmost importance in creating the life you want. I don’t intend to sound preachy here. If anything, I feel like writing this is as much an exercise in self-belief for me as it is a call to awareness for you – awareness of your own attitude towards yourself, and how this could drive positive ambition, rather than short-lived ambition that flails from a lack of self-belief. Our thoughts, actions, and habits reflect who we believe ourselves to be. And this belief is something to act on.
So, do your everyday habits look like you want to be a writer? Could they shift to look more like it? What does writing mean to you? I saw an interview with Toni Morrison where she explains that she started writing in a time of isolation – the act of writing bringing order and routine to a chaotic time in her life. We all have demanding lives in our own ways, but the more you allow yourself to believe, the more you will make it work and fill the little crevices of your free time with things that bring you joy and make you feel fulfilled. It’s for yourself, a devotion and care that requires effort and attention, but couldn’t be more worth it.
More than anything, despite this article just brushing the surface of the subject, I wanted to write this to encourage more people to say yes to what they’ve always wanted to do, to say yes to themselves, and to say yes to believing in their dreams.
Hope can always be created, lives can always change, and you can always change your mind – it’s never too late.
