Every music website under the sun is stuffed with ‘Ones to Watch’ for the coming year. Some are great. You know about Florence and the Machine. Empire Of The Sun promise to fill your MGMT-shaped hole. The Big Pink are shoe-gaze-new-gaze goodness and Little Boots is that indie-girl pin up you’ve been sold for years, but better. Lots better.
On the other hand, some are tripe. And dripping. So, before we get back to the round of weekly singles (back in 0th week), I thought it best to warn you off a few potential mistakes.
The Virgins – NME, who really never learn, are drooling over this unintelligent and unprepossessing bunch who sing about cocaine brunches and rich girls in tortured teen drawls. Some cynical marketing exec. has clearly engineered this group by combining the very worst parts of The Kooks, RHCP and Jamiroquai…
White Lies – That bassline. That superhigh, singlenote synth. That voice. Those military stabs of guitar. Heard it before somewhere? Er, Grand National/Interpol/Killers/Editors/JoyfuckingDivision much?
The Soft Pack – the future voice of garage punk? Or just really, really mediocre and unoriginal?
The Chapman Family – OK, they may be the real thing, but the real thing takes itself laughably seriously for a band of such average talent. Hints of Kaiser Chiefs lurking too.
Red Light Company – Their myspace is beautiful, their songs are exultant, their production immense. Yet none of this can save the whining voice, the underlying lack of new ideas, or the uncomfortable closeness to the worst bombastic excesses of Brandon Flowers.
I predict success for all of them. Just don’t get embarrassed in twelve months’ time. Until next week…
