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Cherbadly

Radcliffe Camera is a Transformer 

Scientists from the Oxford Robotics Laboratories reported, Tuesday, that a recent set of classified tests have confirmed that the Radcliffe Camera, long thought to be little more than a...

Expansionist Balliol College Invades Trinity College

A large force of Balliol College JCR members surrounded the walls of neighboring Trinity...

Oxford announces Trinity Term 2023 will be its last

After 927 continuous years, The University of Oxford has announced that Trinity Term 2023...

Here ye! Sign Up for the Spring Punting Joust

Hear ye all brave men of action! A great tourney awaits ye upon the...

Diversity Triumphs: UK finally has PM from Lincoln College

In a stunning moment for diversity in British politics, Rishi Sunak became Britain’s first Prime Minister to have attended Lincoln College, Oxford on Tuesday....

Job opening: Oxford student wanted

HMG is seeking to hire a PM. Qualified candidates should possess: An Oxford degreeThe ability to manage large groups of disagreeable fellow OxoniansNo sense of dignity Experience,...

Bullingdon Club Announces Diversity Training

The infamously exclusive Bullingdon Club announced this week that its members will undergo a series of sensitivity courses with the intention of making current...

Cherbadly: St. Benet’s Hall to be Purchased by Russian Mining Magnate Dmitri Berinov

In a rapid sell-off of its assets, defunct Oxford community St. Benet’s Hall is to be purchased by Russian oligarch Dmitri Berinov for use...

BREAKING: Oxford Union and Student Union to merge into Union Union 

"Like this has not already happened right before everyone’s eyes, it was announced today that the Oxford Union, known for its hacks and chums, will merge with the Student Union, known for its jazz hands and vegan sausages."

Oh Well! Park End to be renamed the “Boris Johnson Institution for Parties”

"Jacob Rees Mug has been announced as the headline bouncer. "

The topography of Oxford

"Then there were more obscure terms: "see you in Cowley". I must admit that given the notoriously well-articulated British pronunciation I honestly believed they were referring to a certain Cow Lake, which I then presumed to be located in Christchurch Meadow, given the cows. It appears that it is the name of the vibrant area south of Oxford." Nicola Carotenuto provides a satirical glance at Oxford student life and lingo.

An Oxford student’s guide to graduating in an economic crisis

"When it comes to financial ruin you could call me a seasoned veteran. As a Greek, we did it before it was cool."

SATIRE: Oxfess Wars, Fun or Boring?

Most Oxford students’ lives right now are defined by uncertainty. Will we be faced with an online Michaelmas as well as Trinity? When will we...

Oxford- A Modern Institution?

When one is part of an institution whose leadership of ancient white men is so receptive and open to change, one can often forget that...

SATIRE: Who Needs Money When You Have Love?

Boris Johnson addressed the decade old issue of underfunding the health service on Easter Sunday. “Our NHS is the beating heart of this country - it...

SATIRE: Bully for You, Bully for Me

I awake to the sounds of Mall Grab blaring from my phone. I love Mall Grab. His music is sick. I roll over and...

SATIRE: How to feel rich during quarantine

You only need to put yourself in the shoes of socialite Emeliva Howawante to see the richer side of quarantine living

Satire: The Guide to Isolation

Everything is terrible right now. There seems little point in pretending otherwise. If you watch the news, you’re immediately sent into a spiral of...

SATIRE: Trump and I

I’ve been ill this week. Not the glamorous kind of ill, just a boring low-level kind of tonsillitis. The smallest sip of water is like a...

SATIRE: Party Time

How many times do we have to elect politicians who look like Roald Dahl villains before a pang of embarrassment finally twinges? Nigel...

SATIRE: Coming out of my Cage and I’ve Been Doing Just Fine

Might as well start by saying if you’re a resident of Wokeville, stop reading now. Apparently, I’m a serial offender when it comes to...

Royal Distractions – 17.1.20

For the purposes of this column, I think it’s important for you to understand that when it comes to the royal family, my capacity...

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