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The Rise of Evil: a user’s guide

James Lamming
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The Rise of Evil: a user’s guide

As you probably know, overthrowing a democracy is no easy task. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Luckily for you, this handy guide is here to help you go from zero to self-proclaimed national hero with minimal fuss. Succeed in your tyrannical master plan and you’ll be joining the hallowed ranks of Franco and Mugabe. Succeed a few more times and you might even catch up with the CIA.

Preliminaries:

Before we begin, let’s make sure you’re the right sort of complete bastard for the job. First, it’s obviously worth making 100 per cent sure that you have absolutely no morals—these will almost certainly hinder your unerring persecution of minorities. If you care about people who aren’t affluent white heterosexual males, you’re probably on the wrong track. Secondly, you’ll want to become wildly rich. Don’t be fooled by the American Dream—honest work won’t bring home the kind of cash you need. Instead, experiment with inheriting $15m dollars from your father. Without your millions, how are you going to force your bigoted views upon the electorate?

Step One: Picking your democracy

It’s worth pointing out that not all democracies are created equal. Some countries inconveniently make hostile takeovers difficult by nurturing a politically-engaged electorate and encouraging national debate. High voter turnout and consistent economic success are a definite no-no, so the likes of Scandinavia and Australia are off the cards.

Make sure the country you pick has some really obscure electoral system too—losing the popular vote should never stand in the way of your path to power! 

Step Two: Dream up a hostile threat

Almost any minority will do. A liberal sprinkling of hate speech, incitement, and thuggery should provoke national hysteria and distrust. Why not pick Islam as a starting point? You can aggressively spin Europe’s national tragedies into narrow-minded political point-scoring in fewer than 140 characters!

Step Three: Pick your voters

People are naturally fickle and untrustworthy. They also have a nasty habit of voting against tyranny. It’s best to nip this unruly tendency in the bud by having only some parts of your country vote. Look to North Carolina as a beacon of progressive tyranny in this respect—they’re so good at blocking African-American voters that it’s literally illegal!

Step Four: Think up a nifty slogan

What else will the Mexicans chant when you put them to work in your sweatshops?

Step Five: Make it all about you

McFly said it best: “It’s all about you, baby”. The electorate never really wanted to hear any of your social, economic or foreign policies, even if you did happen to have any. Rather, tell the impoverished masses about your life of luxury. You drive fast cars, your wife is pretty hot, you’ve never experienced institutionalised discrimination—you live the life!

Finishing touches:

You’re almost there. Your chosen nation is impoverished and despairing under your tyrannical yoke, but you’re still not quite the top dog. It’s time to tell everyone you delivered on your wildly catchy and not-at-all-clichéd-or-pseudo-racist slogan. Let the masses know you’ve, say, Made America Great Again.

Head to Head: Kelechi Iheanacho vs Marcus Rashford

Laolu Ayeko and Sam Pace
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Head to Head: Kelechi Iheanacho vs Marcus Rashford

Rivalries are one of the great hallmarks of sport. They are essential to maintaining competition and interest. The Premier League has never lacked this: Keane and Viera; Wenger and Mourinho; Terry and Bridge. In particular, the Manchester derby always brings something special to British football. Since last season, it brings a burst of passion in two very special young players: Marcus Rashford and Kelechi Iheanacho. But who is the better player? Laolu Ayeko and Sam Pace share their opinion in the first edition of ‘Head to Head’.

Laolu Ayeko on Kelechi Iheanacho

Let’s be real here, there is only one winner in this contest, and he wears blue.

Iheanacho first burst into the scene with awe-inspiring performances in the 2013 U17 world cup, the like of which hadn’t been seen since John Obi Mikel and Lionel Messi participated in the tournament in 2005. He not only spearheaded a Nigerian win of the tournament, but also managed to secure the best player award for the competition. During this time, Rashford was struggling to break into an England youth side that did not even qualify for the U17 World Cup. In defence of Rashford, his international career has since improved, making six appearances for the senior team and even scoring on his debut. Iheanacho only has four times as many goals in one more appearance.

Yet Kelechi has made his real mark in the Premier League. City manager Pep Guardiola said himself at the start of the season, “Kelechi is a natural goalscorer. I knew about him before, but I’ve been really impressed with him since I arrived. I like his personality, his attitude, his ability—we hope to help him reach the highest level and to realise his full potential.”

Iheanacho seems to have a sixth sense at times, always in the right place at the right time. Admittedly, Rashford has the higher goals to appearances ratio out of the two with 0.32, compared to Iheanacho’s 0.3, but this statistic is incredibly misleading as it only takes Kelechi an average of 141 minutes on the pitch per goal, whereas it takes Rashford 204.

If you think Iheanacho’s contributions to City’s team have ended at goals, you are mistaken. Iheanacho’s confidence and ability to take players on greatly contributes to the potency of City’s attack, attributes severely lacked by Rashford. When comparing their assist tallies in their club career, it’s not even close. Iheanacho has assisted three goals in his career and Rashford is yet to clock one assist.

Iheanacho’s goals last season often came at crucial times for City. He was personally responsible for five of City’s points last season, without which they would have finished finished seventh in the league instead of fourth, outside of the Champions League qualification spots.

If you weren’t already convinced, I’ll finish with this: Iheanacho, unlike Rashford, is a member of the prestigious list of players almost signed by Arsenal boss and legendary developer of talent Arsène Wenger, along with Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Didier Drogba. His parents obviously knew he was destined to be special—they gave him the middle name Promise.

Sam Pace on Marcus Rashford

While Iheanacho is solely used in the central striking role, Rashford has often been forced to ply his trade out wide to enable other offensive talents to fit in alongside him. Even with this, Rashford manages a far better goal to game ratio than Iheanacho in the Premier League. Rashford has scored eight goals in 25 games, giving him a goal to game ratio of 0.320. On the other hand, Iheanacho has only managed three goals more in twelve more games, giving him a goal to game ratio of 0.297.

Iheanacho is yet to fully establish himself in the Manchester City team, scoring very well from the bench in sporadic substitute appearances, or starting when Aguero’s discipline so frequently lets him down. On the other hand, Rashford scored on his European debut and then twice in his first Premier League appearance against Arsenal to win the game of Manchester United. He also scored the winner in the Manchester derby, showing him to be a big game player. 

My sentiment for Rashford’s superiority is echoed by the highly reputable The Sun Football journalist, Andrew Richardson, who says, “It’s a close call between Marcus Rashford and Kelechi Iheanacho for me—but the United man just edges it. He is an explosive player who can change games. Despite the Red Devils’ obvious struggles, he has kept up his form and hit important goals. Difficult to recall a bad performance.”

It is undeniable that Iheanacho is an exciting talent, but he is one of many in the Premier League, with the likes of Alex Iwobi and Jordan Pickford, showing similar levels of, if not greater, promise. Rashford has shown his potential to transform his team’s fortunes, evidenced by his cameo performances for England during his young, but blossoming, international career.

What’s more, it could be argued that Iheanacho has only scored frequently at such a young age due to the creative talents of Silva, De Bruyne and Sterling. The dire creative ability of a drab Manchester United team, on the other hand, has done nothing to help Rashford, who has had to show great talent at such a young age to be able to succeed.

Why Theresa May should call an election in 2017

Maxim Parr-Reid
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Why Theresa May should call an election in 2017

Last term I wrote an article saying that I didn’t think it would be wise for Theresa May to call a General Election in early 2017. After recent by-elections, it’s clear that the Liberal Democrats only pose a limited threat to the Conservatives in heavily Remain-voting parts of the country like Richmond Park. Theresa May has an opportunity to increase her dwindling Commons majority—I for one believe she should seize it.

However, the Richmond Park by-election shouldn’t spook the Prime Minister. Zac Goldsmith fought and lost the contest as an independent, without the backing of CCHQ or the national Conservative Party. Theresa May should not be deterred from striking while the iron is hot, so to speak, and taking advantage of her highly favourable poll ratings and call an early election. Even in staunchly Remain Richmond, the Liberal Democrats could only just snatch a victory, despite their opponent running with no party label whatsoever.

What these by-elections show cumulatively is that the Labour Party under Jeremy Corbyn continues to fall away. In Richmond Park the party did so badly that it lost its deposit (due to getting less than 5% of the vote). Labour haven’t lost their deposit in a London by-election since 1909. The Labour Party tumbled away in Witney, Richmond Park and, most recently, Sleaford & North Hykeham. The Conservatives should capitalise on the weakness of the opposition and cement their position nationally.

Clearly one cannot hold opinion polls in too high esteem after the debacles of the 2015 General Election and Brexit. However, even if the polls are off by a small amount, the Conservatives still have towering leads nationally. What the polls show is UKIP voters switching to the Conservatives and Labour haemorrhaging votes to the Liberal Democrats. This would be more evidence of what’s been happening in recent parliamentary by-elections. The Conservatives also appear to be making historic inroads in Scotland, a hitherto barren region for them. This is no small part down to Ruth Davidson’s efforts to protect the Union and defend the interests of the majority, who voted emphatically against separation in 2014. The Conservatives could expect to make clear advances in this part of the United Kingdom in a General Election.

The polls have given the Conservatives leads of up to 18%. UKIP’s new leader continues to preside over a party whose votes are falling away. Given that UKIP’s only real policy is leaving the European Union, it’s no surprise that many UKIP voters are returning to the Conservative Party under a more socially conservative leader. This would explain why the Conservatives are currently on 42% and hover around that figure. Labour, by contrast, are stagnating as their vote share drops to around 25%, their lowest level since 2009. It’s highly likely that the Conservatives would have a majority of over 100 if Theresa May went to the country in early 2017 rather than waiting until 2020. If not, the Labour Party may ditch Jeremy Corbyn and install a more palatable leader.

Finally, it is becoming increasingly clear that Brexit negotiations may be more complex and quarrelsome than first thought. The Prime Minister should therefore contemplate with real equanimity the prospect of an early General Election to extend the Conservatives’ mandate and acquire one of her own. Gordon Brown came to power in similar circumstances to Theresa May (due to an unopposed coronation as opposed to an internal party election). Theresa May would be well advised to extend the Conservative Party’s mandate to 2022 so that Brexit negotiations do not have to be rushed unnecessarily.

Alumni philanthropy gap between UK and US universities “narrowing”

Katherine Pye
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Alumni philanthropy gap between UK and US universities “narrowing”

The proportion of UK and US alumni who have made a financial donation to their university is “narrowing”, according to a recent study.

In a report by the British market research agency Red Brick Research, has shown that a quarter of UK alumni under 30 have donated to their university.

The survey, which had a sample size of over 1,000 alumni from both countries, uncovered a generational gap in the willingness of alumni to donate. While there was a 21 percentage point difference in the proportion of British and American 51-60 year-olds who had donated to their alma mater, there was only a six percentage point difference in the proportion in 22-30 year-old alumni.

Oxford University has received increasing amounts from alumni philanthropy in recent years. In 2008, it launched Oxford Thinking: The Campaign for the University of Oxford, with the goal of raising £1.2 billion “to transform the collegiate University for many generations to come.” The University met the target in 2012 and a new goal of £3 billion was set, with £2 billion reached in May 2015.

Gifts from alumni to the University have included £4 million from Adrian Beecroft to construct the Beecroft Building in the Department of Physics, over £10 million in donations to support the university’s the Weidenfeld and Hoffmann Scholarship Programme, and Dickson Poon’s donation of £10 million towards the Dickson Poon University of Oxford China Centre Building. Many alumni gifts to scholarship funds have been matched by the University.

The study also revealed that 25 per cent of UK alumni aged between 22 and 30 had made a donation at least once, compared with 31 per cent of those in the same age bracket in the US. Meanwhile, just 3 per cent of 51-60 year-olds in the UK reported having donated, compared with 24 per cent in the US.

Red Brick Research told the Times Higher Education that the narrowing gap suggests the UK is having “some recent success in adopting a more US-style approach [to philanthropy].

“This may be indicative of a change of attitude in recent years with real efforts made by many universities to invest in alumni departments, to improve contact databases and to try to engage alumni at the point of graduation.”

The group added that more British students are finishing university “with a good understanding of their alumni network and its value.”

Overall, however, American alumni are still far more likely to donate to their alma mater. Less than a third of UK respondents said that they have donated or would consider donating to their university, compared with 54 per cent of US respondents.

OUSU and the University of Oxford have been contacted for comment.

Labour has a long way to go, but it is far from disconnected from reality

Alfie Steer
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Labour has a long way to go, but it is far from disconnected from reality

Only those in the deepest clutches of political denial would disagree with the view that the Labour Party is in trouble. The fundamental threat to the Labour Party’s electoral challenge has reached such an extent that even President Obama has decided to weigh in on the ongoing debate, describing the party under Corbyn as “disintegrating” and losing any place in “fact and reality”.

While I am by no means an uncritical devotee of Jeremy Corbyn, however, I must take issue with this diagnosis. The new SDP-style split first seen as an inevitability for the last fifteen months of Corbyn’s leadership has not materialised, the rebels on the backbenches have fallen largely silent, and while there remains a huge electoral mountain to climb, in numerous policy areas, Labour has been taking the right steps to diagnosing the problems at the heart of British society, and finding effective solutions for them.

The key voters that Labour needs to win over—the middle class small business owners of Middle England, and the white working classes of the post-industrial Northern heartlands—may appear miles apart, but in so many ways they share a common identity as victims of the globalised economy. The white working classes have seen their traditional industries and communities torn apart and left behind, forced into unfulfilling work in precarious zero-hour contracts and service sector jobs.

Middle class small business owners have also felt the immense squeeze from the new globalised economy, with many dreams of start-up enterprises never getting off the ground because of it. For both groups, Labour can be their champions, and already the party is taking steps in the right direction to meet their needs, and to provide answers for their concerns, something the Tories are consistently failing to do.

As socialists, Labour must never abandon their commitment to the empowerment of the working class, and a commitment to worker’s representation on company boards would be a huge, revolutionary step to ensure this. Vote Leave’s slogan of “Take Back Control” is already beginning to be reclaimed by the left and used to campaign for the rights of workers.

But the aim of socialism is not just an egalitarian society free from exploitation, but also free from the restrictions that prevent people fulfilling their full potential. Labour is re-establishing its position as the champion of small business owners and “aspirational” classes just as much as the traditional, working class voters. A national investment bank, a higher minimum wage and moves towards a universal basic income, as mooted by John McDonnell and Jonathan Reynolds, are huge steps in the right direction in facilitating the aspirations of small business owners, freeing them from the limitations of globalised capital and big business competition, allowing the people that truly power our economy to get the help they need.

The immensely positive effects of a simplified and streamlined system—cutting back the horrendous bureaucracy of the welfare state—through UBI would also of course to do immense good for the worst off in our society, as well as calm the fears of fiscally conservative voters, fearful of welfare overspending. Labour has an immense opportunity with these policies, presented as the effective kickstarter policies for the economy in a post-Brexit Britain, utilising the full potential of British workers and business owners, to seize the economic narrative, and win the support of key voting demographics.

In social terms, the party’s working-class heartlands are deeply traditional and communitarian, with recent reports detailing the huge levels of cultural divide in some of the country’s most diverse areas. Here, moves towards an emphasis on fair movement of labour and an effective fund for areas most effected by immigration has also done much to win back the social narrative, at the moment dominated by right-wing populism. This is not an abandonment of Labour’s social liberalism, but rather putting into more effective practice the core beliefs in community and collectivism.

Things are certainly not perfect. There are vocal and extreme elements on both the left and right of the party in this debate on social media, and both crucially have failed to come anywhere near a sensible or credible solution. Neither ‘The Red Flag’ nor D:Ream are going to win back the voters of Middle England or the post-industrial northern heartlands left behind by three decades of neoliberalism. But these remain a minority view.

But the truth is, Obama is wrong on this. Labour is more in touch with the realities of the economic and social situation that any other party, but it must do more to re-establish its connection to the electorate, to speak in their terms and to gain their trust.

Fundamentally, Labour wins when they can strike the difficult balance between being true to themselves, and appealing effectively to the electorate. It is beautifully simple and often frustratingly difficult in equal measure. Labour is connected to reality, to the fundamental struggles of everyday life in Britain. But what it needs to do now, is connect to the electorate.

Review – Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Henry Shalders
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Review – Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

At its basics this is a film about internet connectivity at a data centre. It’s often written that the Disney-Lucasfilm compact is to bring the stale space-western sci-fi flicks of George Lucas to a younger and more sceptical Millennial generation, reared on a supersize-me diet of CGI and special effects. Transported back into a time at the very dawn of the rebellion, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story tackles issues all too prevalent in the real world today.

Rogue One is a new kind of Star Wars movie, a stand-alone film spun off from a slither of text crawl at the beginning of A New Hope, the original Star Wars episode released in 1977. Its British director, Gareth Edwards, calls it Star Wars 3A and it forms the prelude to the 1977 movie, as the Rebel Alliance uncover the existence of the Death Star.  It’s a gripping movie about triumphing against all odds, happily shorn of the Ozymandian baggage that encompassed 2015’s A Force Awakens. The cast has a refreshing diversity, with Felicity Jones playing the troubled anti-hero Jyn Erso and Diego Luna as the rebel alliance captain Cassian Andor. The film probes questions around resistance theory and looks at the legitimacy of the Rebellion itself. This is as close as we’ll get to Marxist-Sci-fi; we’re up personal with the foot soldiers of the rebellion, caught in a hopeless clash between forces that far transcend them.

Diehard Star Wars fans will be relieved that the core tropes survive. Though less derivative than A Force Awakens, Rogue One borrows enough from the original trilogy to fit in snugly to the Star Wars universe. There are cameos from C3PO and R2D2, and Darth Vader returns with all the camp malice the 91-year-old James Earl Jones can muster. Michael Giacchino’s score is a fitting pastiche of John Williams’ dissonant overtures in the original soundtrack.

Rogue One is also a triumph for Oxford drama. Felicity Jones (Chalet Girl, The Theory of Everything) is an alumna of Wadham College (BA English) and was active in OUDS. The key supporting part of Bodhi Rook is taken by Christ Church’s Riz Ahmed (BA PPE) of Four Lions fame. Apparently Jones attended the grime nights Ahmed ran in Cellar, a thought which clouded my judgement as they engaged in intergalactic warfare.

Where the film succeeds is its problematising of the usual Manichean good-evil divide adopted by every Star Wars film. Edwards probes the idea of what it means to be a rebel. Everyone is compromised, from Cassian Andor who is willing to kill in cold blood, to Erso’s father, Galen, held in Imperial Captivity as he is forced to complete his work on the Death Star.

Rogue One is let down by a slightly bizarre finale where the lead protagonists are engaged at a pitched battle at an Imperial data centre. Without giving too much away, they’re engaged in a fight to gain control of a comms tower in order to transmit a large data file. As a wifi addicted millennial this set off immediate alarm bells. Don’t they have 4G in this galaxy long ago, far far away (they’re capable of the “jump into hyperspace” after all)? What about Dropbox? Have they thought about uploading it offline? Doesn’t the Empire use a Cloud storage facility? If 4G’s an issue there must be a way to set-up a WiFi hotspot.

These issues plagued me as I sat watching the finale. Surely the writers could have come up with a better premise for a closing sequence than this? I understand the imperative to appeal to Millennials. I am one. But what seemed to be unfolding before my eyes was a parody of my tussles with Boingo Hotspots every time I go to an airport, except I don’t have a lightsaber to express my wrath.

WiFi issues aside, this is a film worth seeing for Star Wars aficionados and newcomers alike. At points audacious, it lacks the black-white thematic clarity that typifies the other Episodes. We’re left with a heart-rending story of bravery, love and loss.

Carrie Fisher: a tribute to the actress who redefined gender expectations in Hollywood

Daniel Curtis and Louis McEvoy
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Carrie Fisher: a tribute to the actress who redefined gender expectations in Hollywood

The Force Awakens was rightly commended for its diversity and strong female protagonist, but such praise neglected to mention the feminism of the first Star Wars film. Leia’s first appearance is an exercise in deconstruction: accompanied by soft, twinkling music and in an angelic white dress, the fairy tale princess suddenly, calmly kills a fascist soldier with a blaster. Upon rescue, she quickly and capably takes charge of the situation. Although the Star Wars narrative is largely a rehash of Flash Gordon, Leia is a significant alteration: she’s a steely politician and committed rebel leader, and as hyper-talented and witty as her actress. It’s a great role, and the original Princess Leia, as well as 2015’s General Organa, is worth remembering.

By the 1980 and 1983 sequels, however, she gets short-changed, reduced to simpering girlfriend of Han Solo (who instructs Chewbacca to protect Leia, as if the woman who stared down Darth Vader and Peter Cushing would need protecting) and clad in an objectifying, humiliating metal bikini Fisher reviled. Although she didn’t receive the same quality material as the first-time round, she would go beyond the inadequate gender politics of cinema, becoming a distinct, brilliant heroine in her own right. Check out her interviews—especially her appearance on ‘Good Morning America’ last year, when a question on her weight loss was dryly shut down with: “I think that’s a stupid conversation.” A manic-depressive drug addict with a gay husband, an idiosyncratic eccentric who brought her dog alone to fly first class with her, and a brilliant heroine in her own right, her legacy of defying conventions, in character and out, offers something valuable in today’s bleak political era: hope. Louis McEvoy

 

It is true that Leia has been a staple of both my childhood and my burgeoning adult life. Yet it is the person and creative behind the role, behind the fandom, that I mourn, and that we must remember. Fisher, in her tireless advocacy of mental health and body image awareness, was an inspiration. A vocal sufferer of bipolar disorder and substance abuse, Fisher’s journey through the turbulence of Hollywood was well-documented—but where many would be victim to the tabloid press’ corrosive glare, Fisher was empowered by outlining her life in her own words. That could be through the frank interviews destigmatising her battles, as well as her personal and revealing autobiographical writing— Fisher’s final book, The Princess Diarist, was only released in November 2016.

While her autobiographical writing was widely vaunted, her work as one of Hollywood’s most revered script doctors went deliberately uncredited: she worked on the scripts for Hook, Sister Act, Lethal Weapon 3, the Young Indiana Jones TV series and even the Star Wars prequels. In short, summarising her impact and inspiration is futile, for the late Fisher was someone who energised the lives of others by defining her own. In her play and book Wishful Drinking, she wrote, “I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra.” Let it be known, then, that that was how she passed—as ever, her life remains her own, even in death. Daniel Curtis

Recipe: as American as apple pie

Julianna Lewis
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Recipe: as American as apple pie

Unbeknownst to many Oxfordians, Christmas isn’t allowed to start in America until after the pageantry of Thanksgiving and Black Friday are over. Once we have all eaten ourselves into comas after the second of only three days in the year where we actually eat roasts, then the wreaths and garlands and holiday lights can come out.

Imagine my surprise then, as an American abroad, when Christmas trees started appearing the week after Halloween. I felt like I was in a television special where suddenly an animated reindeer would appear and scold me for being stuck in my American ways. To be honest, at first, I was a little peeved at how excited and spirited everyone was. Primark selling garland and reindeer antler headbands? In November? Tesco stocking Christmas candy and advent calendars before I had had a chance to eat myself into a coma on turkey and pie and to ignore the racism and genocide on which my nation had been founded? It was absolutely absurd.

However, once I overcame my initial Scrooge-like reaction, I realised how delightful an extended holiday season could be. Beyond it being socially acceptable to eat peppermint bark and wear ugly sweaters for longer, it also afforded me an opportunity to take part in some new holiday traditions with my new friends and loved ones. I drank mulled wine, exchanged Christmas cards, popped Christmas crackers and generally enjoyed the holiday cheer.

Once back home for the vac, it was time for one of my family’s oldest traditions. My dad’s family has always considered their motto to be “all pie is good pie”. No matter the family gathering, there are almost always more pies than people. Apple, pumpkin, pecan, lemon meringue, anything. This is especially true at Christmas: there must be pie and at least one of them has to be an apple pie baked with my great-great-grandma’s recipe. Now I’m not sure how meat pies or mince pies fit into this “all pie is good pie” tradition as I bring it across the Atlantic, but either way, no matter the country, it’s not a real holiday unless there’s an apple pie for dessert.

Ingredients:

Crust:

  1. 2-2½ cups flour (240-300 g)
  2. 1½ tsp salt
  3. ⅔ cups vegetable oil (67 g)
  4. 4⅓ cup milk (77 g)

Filling:

  1. 6-7 Granny Smith apples (approx. 8-10 cm diameter)
  2. up to 1 cup sugar (200 g)

Method:

1 –  Mix ingredients together in a bowl until a soft dough forms.

2 – Divide dough in half and roll between wax paper until it fits the diameter of your pie pan (generally ½ cm thick, 32 cm in diameter).

3 – For bottom of pie, once dough is rolled out, remove top layer of wax paper and gently flip bottom layer (with dough on it) into the pie pan so that the wax paper is on top.

4 –  Form dough to shape of pan and remove wax paper.

5 – Peel apples and thinly slice into the pie plate (with lower crust already in place).

6 – Pour 100-200 g sugar over apples depending on the tartness of the apples (more tart requires more sugar).

7 – Roll out the second half of dough in the same way as the base and gently place over top of the apples. Use fork to press top and bottom dough together so that crust is formed and pie is sealed. Use knife to cut the excess dough off the edge and poke holes into the dough to release steam.

8 – Bake at 190°C for 45-60 minutes until apples at centre can be pierced with knife easily. If you prefer a more formed apple, take pie out of the oven when apples are still hard to cut as they will continue to cook while the pie cools down.

George Michael: a tribute to the man of words

Natalia Bus
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George Michael: a tribute to the man of words

If there was one thing that George Michael knew, it was words. The power of words to move, inspire, and change. The essence of what he stood for and what kind of musician he was will live on through the words he chose to inject life into his songs. It is only fitting, therefore, that we pay tribute to the activist, humanitarian, and entertainer through a selection of his most poignant and relevant lyrics.

“And it’s hard to love, there’s so much to hate/ Hanging on to hope/ When there is no hope to speak of/ And the wounded skies above say it’s much too late/ Well maybe we should all be praying for time”

It is seldom that a verse written 26 years ago rings so true in the world today. Michael’s bleak, almost-apocalyptic vision of the world resonates as a warning shot in a time of war, post-truth, and terrorism. On ‘Praying for Time’, the pop superstar fluctuates between a powerful and soft rendering, using his voice to convey both the need for change and the fear that it may already be too late.

“There’s something deep inside of me/ There’s someone else I’ve got to be/ Take back your picture in a frame/ Take back your singing in the rain/ I just hope you understand/ Sometimes the clothes do not make the man”

Taken from the same album as the latter (Listen Without Prejudice), ‘Freedom! ’90’ bears the message of self-love and individuality in the face of opposition. A man who was never afraid to show his true colours (no matter the number of questionable outfit choices they bred) and stand up for his homosexual identity, Michael drives home the importance of the “Freedom” to be anything you want in this catchy refrain.

“We could have been so good together/ We could have lived this dance forever/ But now who’s gonna dance with me/ Please stay”

With the most unmistakable saxophone intro of any track in the past two decades, ‘Careless Whisper’ is not only timeless for its thoroughly sexy musical arrangement. The hearts of listeners shatter to a million pieces as Michael agonisingly begs his lover not to leave him broken and alone.

“Sex is natural, sex is good/ Not everybody does/ But everybody should”

Released during the mid-80s AIDS hysteria, a time of fear and panic in the US, the lyrics to ‘I Want Your Sex (Part 1)’ are a refreshingly bold statement. Yet again, Michael dismisses ignorance and fear in the typically fun, tongue-in-cheek manner that he is known for. Unsurprisingly, the track, as well as its equally steamy video, was met with outrage, as Michael found himself in boiling hot water-not for the first or last time in his lively career.

“‘Cause I gotta have faith, faith, faith”

The simplest repetition bears the most uplifting message. This upbeat pop gem of a track contains the most infectious chorus in 80s British pop music and is sure to have you bopping long after its three minute and 50 seconds run-time is up. ‘Faith’ captures perfectly the quick-witted, playful, and ultimately fun icon that was George Michael.

Unlikely champions and unbelievable success: Cherwell’s top sporting moments

Karl Frey
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Unlikely champions and unbelievable success: Cherwell’s top sporting moments

If we can thank 2016 for anything, it is some spectacular moments in sport. As the world bemoans the celebrity deaths, wars and political upheaval that have punctuated this turbulent year, let us also remember the brilliant and unlikely that we have encountered in the world of sport. It was in the arena of sport that we arguably witnessed the triumph of kindness, passion and determination, which seemed so absent from the wider world. Here are Cherwell’s top five sporting moments of 2016:

1) Leicester City wins the British Premier League

By far the most memorable moment of in the world of British football this year was Leicester City’s Premier League win. On Monday the 2nd of May 2016, a Tottenham 2-2 draw away at Chelsea confirmed that Leicester City had won the Barclays Premier League title in one of the greatest sporting stories of all time. Despite an excellent start to the 2015/2016 campaign, the Foxes have remained underdogs for the majority of the season. Football fans across the country were convinced that they didn’t have the squad depth or quality of football to remain at the top of the table; nonetheless Ranieri’s men never stopped to impress. In December 2015, Jamie Vardy received his award for consecutive Premier League goals. The striker scored in 11 straight games to break the record previously held by Manchester United’s Ruud Van Nistelrooy. An outstanding season also earned Riyad Mahrez the PFA Player of the Year award. Leicester City’s 2015/16 side cost an aggregate of £54.4 million with substitute Leonardo Ulloa being their most expensive signing (£10m). The other three teams that made the top four in the 15/16 season, Tottenham, Arsenal and Manchester City, had squads costing of £161.1 million, £251.9 million and £418.8 million, respectively: clearly money isn’t everything in football. Claudio Ranieri’s Leicester City have cemented their place in Premier League history.

2) Euros 2016 – Portugal win, Wales reach semi-finals and Iceland Vikings conquer Europe

Second only to Leicester’s Premier League success, comes a nerve racking and eventful European Championship hosted by France. Will Grigg was on fire, Zaza’s ball yet to land, and Vicente del Bosque was fired as Spain failed to impress again. France’s Griezmann proved to be unstoppable against the German giants. Wales beat Belgium to reach the semi finals and the Viking war chant echoed in the streets of Paris.

The most striking story of the 2016 Euros was that of the Icelandic football team. In the month of July, 27,000 Icelandic fans, or roughly 8 per cent of the nation’s population, made their way to Saint-Etienne for the group stage game against Portugal. With the now world renown Viking war chant as their trademark, the Icelandic players and fans gave it their all for their tiny nation’s proud name. Iceland’s goalkeeper works as a music video director and one of their coaches is a dentist. Nonetheless, the Vikings humiliated England in the last 16 stage with a 2-1 victory, which marked an end to Roy Hodgson’s disappointing managerial career. Iceland were then defeated by the hosts in the quarterfinals.

After Iceland’s inspirational run came the final held between France and Portugal at the Stade de France, Saint Dennis on 10 July. Portuguese captain Cristiano Ronaldo tearfully abandoned the pitch with an ankle injury in the first half and handed over leadership responsibilities to former Manchester United winger Luis Nani. A goalless draw took the game to extra-time and Portuguese substitute Edér found the back of the net with a powerful 25-yard strike to earn his country the victory. 

Relive the drama of the final (with Titanic music):

3) Rio Olympics- records smashed, sacrifices made and success for Oxford

In August 2016, Rio de Janeiro became the first South American city to ever host the Summer Olympic Games. The lead-up to the Games was defined by controversies including a Zika virus outbreak, a doping scandal involving Russian athletes and instabilities in Brazil’s federal government. Despite this, Rio de Janeiro came to life like never seen before and the Olympics were jammed-packed with sporting talent and memorable moments.

Two Oxford graduates, Constantine Louloudis and Tom Mitchell won medals in rowing and rugby 7s respectively. Louloudis – who is a graduate in classics from Trinity College – earned gold with the Great British 4 man rowing team. Mitchell led the Great British rugby team to the Olympic final, where the Fijians proved to be superior.

One of the moments that marked the Olympics, was Bahamian runner Shaunae Miller’s dive across the finish line to beat the seven times gold medallist Alison Felix in the women’s 400m race. In a different manner, British runner Mo Farah also found himself lying on the running tracks after being knocked down at the start of the 10000m race. Regardless of the fall, Farah still managed to defend his title.

There were some firsts. On the 12th of August, Fiji erupted with celebrations as its 7s rugby team won the country’s first ever gold medal, beating Great Britain in the final by an astonishing 43-7. On the following day, Monica Puig of Puerto Rico proudly wove her country’s flag after winning the gold medal match in the women’s tennis competition. This too, was Puerto Rico’s first ever-gold medal.

On the other end of the spectrum, Michael Phelps became the most decorated Olympic athlete ever; leading the USA to victory in the 400m Medley race, he retired with his 23rd gold medal. No other Olympic athlete has ever exceeded 9 gold medals. However, for many, the sensation of Rio Olympics was US gymnast Simone Biles. Winning gold for all-round individual and team performances, the 19 year old has already been described as one of the best Olympic gymnasts ever. She also earned a gold medal for the Vault and a Bronze medal for the Beam events.

4) Kris Jenkins sinks a championship-winning buzzer 3 pointer

On the 4th of April 2016, the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) basketball final was held between the Vilanova Wildcats and the University of North Carolina (UNC). Kris Jenkins sunk a championship-winning buzzer 3 pointer to earn the Vilanova’s the title, in what is referred to as “The Perfect Ending”.

UNC had recovered from a 10-point deficit in the final five minutes to tie the game with 4.7 seconds left, leaving the Wildcats one last chance to clinch a victory before overtime. Four-year team captain Ryan Arcidiacono dribbled down court and passed the ball back to assist Jenkins’ game-winning shot. Coach Jay Wright credits the play to the “Wildcat minute”, where the team practices late-game scenarios at every practice. The game has been called one of the greatest in the history of NCAA Tournament Championships.

5) Chicago Cubs win the World Series Championship

On the 2nd of November 2016, after 108 years of waiting, the Chicago Cubs ended the longest drought in American sporting history. The Cubs won the 2016 World Series with a wild 8-7 victory over the Indians at Progressive Field. The triumph completed their climb back from a 3-1 Series deficit to claim their first championship since 1908, breaking ‘The Curse of the Billy Goat’.

This curse was supposedly placed on the Chicago Cubs by the owner of Billy Goat Tavern, William Sianis. The odour of his pet goat Murphy was bothering other fans and so Sianis was asked to leave Wrigley Field, the Cubs’ home ballpark, during game 4 of the 1945 World Series. Unhappy with his dismissal, Sianis declared, “Them Cubs, they ain’t gonna win no more!”. The Cubs lost the 1945 World Series to the Detroit Tigers, and did not win a World Series championship again until 2016.

You bet Chicago Cubs fans won’t mess with the Billy Goat Tavern again.

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