Thursday 9th April 2026
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Review — Star Wars: The Force Awakens

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★★★★☆

Four Stars

Why the fuck would someone post Star Wars plot spoilers on an article about an orangutan laughing at a magic trick? I tried, I tried so very hard to avoid the spoilers. No Twitter, no movie blogs. What more could I do? Damn you Buzzfeed, and your twatty users. I mean real twats. Ten out of ten on the twat scale kind of twats. Gold medal-winning twats. Stop, stare and take a picture kind of twats. I should have known better. Boredom leads to Facebook, Facebook leads to Buzzfeed, Buzzfeed leads to heart-rending spoilers. 

Suffice to say, I didn’t have the Star Wars experience I had hoped for – similar to how most fans felt when the prequels came out at the turn of the millennium. From the space Western vibe of the originals, in all their stuttering hologram and Oedipal complex glory, we were dragged in to trade federations and lacking computer-generated environments. And Hayden Christensen’s sclerotic face.

Force Awakens corrects those ills at nearly every point. Lead protagonists John Boyega and Daisy Ridley ground the fantastical science-fiction around them in likeable characters who appear distinctly human, in a way that Christensen and Natalie Portman never could. It’s also funny. Not laugh out loud, but generous chuckling kind of funny, in a welcome change to the prequels that lacked anything humans could recognise as humour.

Physicality reigns at every turn, a decision that feels like an intentional ‘fuck you’ to the CGI hollowness of Jar Jar Binks and General Grievous. The sets are gorgeous and noticeably lovingly crafted: from the alien prosthetics, to the interior of the Millennium Falcon, even down to the lightsaber handles and Chewbacca’s mane. The sound design feels equally tactile, with every laser twang and boot clap perfectly balanced. It magically manages to make a world so intrinsically distant to our own feel tangible, providing a level of immersion that most films can only every aspire to. And on top of it all, there’s John William’s beyond-iconic soundtrack that is, to put it simply, perfect. I very nearly wet myself at some points, when the characters, sets and music came together in an orgiastic idyll of Star Wars’ very essence. 

The childish excitement of seeing the Millennium Falcon, for the first time in more than three decades, whizzing through the interstellar void is brilliant. Combine these gorgeous celestial vistas with throwbacks to the cinematic style of the originals (scrolling text opening, wipe transitions) and there are frequent moments of pure wonder. So much of the film is just right. 

And yet, there’s a niggle that can’t be shaken off. In the silences between the blaster fire and the operatic score, you realise this is a film that is burdened. On one level, it is burdened by an unforgettable heritage. Star Wars has transcended the cultural vocabulary and entered the territory of myth. With that kind of pressure, from its back catalogue and the ardent fans who uphold that catalogue, the film is cornered. It has to walk the tightrope of nostalgia and innovation, simultaneously seeking to satisfy the fans who have begged for closure since 1983’s Episode VI and yet also to draw in new fans, many of whom will never have seen a Star Wars film in a cinema. And in a few fleeting moments, it feels less like a balancing act, and more like compromise. Instead of playing on familiarity, it veers into blatant repetition of what’s gone before.

The Force Awakens is more burdened by being the newest cog in a vast machine. On the horizon, there are at least five more Star Wars films; Episodes VIII and IX, and three stand-alone films, the first of which arrives next year. Working within such a vast film franchise, of previously mentioned exemplary heritage but also financial expectation, this film is fundamentally constrained. Despite impeccably portraying mesmerising celestial worlds, you never sense that, as a viewer, the full gamut of what those worlds hold can be explored. I yearned to see things I had never seen before in those far, far away galaxies, but instead I was walked through enjoyable, but ultimately recognisable steps. You glimpse what might be out there in the great enveloping cosmic dark, but are corralled by the knowledge that there will probably be a new trilogy, or spin-off, that explores that sector, or quadrant, or story line. In the end, Force Awakens is structurally sandboxed by the potential of the real and imaginary universes it inhabits.  

Make no mistake, this is the best anyone could have hoped for from Episode VII. The myriad of expectations would crush anything in its way, even something as monolithic as Star Wars. JJ Abrams does a majestic job with what he has on his palate; the entire auditorium grinned from start to finish at his sparky and personable addition to the Star Wars canon, that fizzed with genuine humour and aesthetic magic. We can only wait with baited breath to see whether the remainders of this trilogy explore the intriguing outer reaches of the Star Wars universe, or just tread in different shoes over the original trilogy’s established steps. 

Andy Murray – Sports personality of the Year?

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Glitz and glamour were in abundance at the BBC Sports Personality of the Year awards in 2015. However, the delight of BBC producers, controversy was minimal. Despite Heavyweight Champion of the World Tyson Fury being the subject of protests as a result of his homophobic and misogynistic comments, within the Belfast venue was relaxed and calm for what was a celebration of sport in 2015. 

And there certainly has been a lot to celebrate: the Ashes, Davis Cup, Chris Froome’s Tour de France win, Jessica Ennis-Hill’s return to competition, success in the Women’s football World Cup, an amazing Rugby World Cup and more. There has also been a lot to commemorate and remember with the passing of stars such as Jonah Lomu and Danny Jones in the past year. 

With Andy Murray triumphing in the overall award, the Davis Cup team winning Team of the Year and New Zealand Fly Half Dan Carter winning the overseas Sports Personality of the Year Awards the ceremony seemed to be nothing special, it was conventional, it was the same as it is every year. 

The fact of the matter is simply that sport stars lack personality. Unlike at the Oscars there is no opening monologue from a comic host, there is no mass selfie taken by David Beckham and the addresses from winners are enough to put you to sleep. Even Andy Murray’s joke about how dull he is fell flat, further reinforcing his reputation as the most boring man in tennis. The Sports Personality of the Year Awards are a misnomer in this case and whilst important to recognise sporting acheivements I do not believe any star nominated should be given an award based on their personality. 

The winner of the evening, in my eyes at least, goes not to a venerable legend of sport, nor a rising star to watch out for in Rio 2015. Rather it goes to a young eight-year-old with Cerebal Palsy called Bailey Matthews. Winning the Helen Rollason award after he completed a triathlon against the odds he captivated the audience and owned the stage like a rock god at the O2 Arena. “Thank you,” he screamed into the microphone, wearing a cheeky grin on his face and a little bow tie around his neck. Unphased by an audience containing some of the most famous faces on the planet, he had them in the palm of his hand and has won the hearts of the millions of viewers at home. Perhaps he should have won the main Sports Personality of the Year Award instead!

 

 

Is This Art? The Selfie

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Filters, angles, pixels, lighting, witty captions; the humble Selfie is no longer the simple piece of narcissism it once was. The choice of appropriate pose in itself is a skill, as the less artistically minded such as myself are forced to rotate a fixed portfolio of screwed up faces, visually displaying the agony of this painful social rite of passage. Is it however fair to conclude that such a degree of technical difficulty, the consideration of aesthetics and the existence of a memory or meaning behind each snap, makes the Selfie art? Indeed is Instagram the National Gallery of the future?

Don’t believe that just anyone can take a decent Selfie. Here genetics  plays an integral role. Having long arms helps to get the perfect angle, a DNA lottery which is hardly balanced out by the unprecedented sales growth of the Selfie stick. Yes, undoubtedly improving the physical quality of your Selfie no end, but the social stigma and unadulterated visual narcissism of such a device means it’s serious use is nigh on impossible as the angles it achieves makes it difficult to hide it’s usage online, even if you are artistically minded enough to keep the stick out of shot.

The key conceptual idea for all students of the Selfie is the necessity of keeping your own self obsession hidden. It is completely expected that in the production process, some satisfaction with one’s own image is present (indeed why would you take a Selfie if you were physically repulsed by your own image.) However a truly successful Selfie convincingly manages to appear completely natural and unconscious of the photographer’s evidently beautiful face, which is, seemingly by accident, perfectly positioned just so light flows into the image at just the right angle to highlight the subject’s best features.  Happily though, on the point of DNA, facial symmetry or being conventionally attractive is no longer the hurdle of a skilled Selfie taker. Tragic though it is, physical imperfections can be removed easily, sometimes simply by the choice of angle. Does this increased accessibility of the Selfie destroy it’s case to be the one of the most progressive art forms?

Self portraits have been considered art for years. Just because the production process has been dramatically reduced does not change the subject matter. So as New Year’s approaches and my Facebook wall is inevitably flooded with various angles of the skull’s of people whom I am increasingly struggling to remember where we met or why on earth I am still unhealthily obsessed with updates of their life, I invite you to revel in this socially accepted celebration of the self and to throw out the twisted psychology of trying to look like this didn’t take at least half an hour to set up. After all, I have always thought the narcissus is not a bad looking flower.

Please note: None of the above should be read as an endorsement to take any more Selfies than is strictly necessary. Uploads to social media sites should be limited to no more than three at once out of sensitivity for other users, who cannot yet bring themselves to unfollow you out of their own tragic obsession with the intricate details of your life.

Twas the night before Christmas

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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house 

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. 

Well apart from the Oxford students, still working for sure, 

the laptops still buzzing, books piled on the floor.

 

As the rest of the world is curled up in their beds, 

the students sit glumly, chewing work in their heads. 

When all of a sudden arises such a clatter, 

they spring to their windows to see what is the matter.

 

That Bullingdon club, or a drunken course mate,

who else writing essays is still up this late?

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

  

With a little old driver, so lively and quick, 

They knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick

As their cynical world views are instantly spent,

They begin to consider how to write up the event.

 

The humanities students consider their position,

how to be politically correct yet challenge the opposition,

surely this man proves a patriarchal state,

and should be branded misogynist for femophobic hate.

  

The scientist sits and wonders if the man, 

could be quantified in numbers and figures; what a plan!

Indeed should his flagrant cheating of the laws of science,

challenge them or him to consider compliance?

 

Because something unexplainable is simply frightening, 

a world that doesn’t fit in our heads is like lightning, 

all the building blocks of our quavering existence,

come clattering down without a moment’s resistance.

 

And at such a conclusion, they all traipse to the quad,

to tell this funny man of their work; their true god,

‘you’re a liar’, they go further, ‘you destroyed inspiration,

to dare cause a break from my essay; fornication!

 

Away with you sir and your Christmassy cheer,

our lives are work-centric above all this year,

with finals, collections and prelims to prepare for,

you in your silly red sleigh makes one’s brain sore.’

 

The man stares at the group and leaves with a sigh,

looks up at the clouds and shoots into the sky: 

‘With their plans and ambitions, they really are thick,

what absolute wallies’, pondered Saint Nick.

  

They were offered a gift that was genuinely free, 

and all the economists got was to laugh at me. 

They scoffed at love as if it were not meant, 

is there really any more stupid than an Oxford Student?

  

And at that, rejected by these miserable folk, 

he searched out the needy, the dying, the broke, 

and it was there the true brilliance of humanity shone;

it was clear that at Oxford, something was wrong.

 

But back to the lawn and the academic meeting, 

all trundled off to bed to work before sleeping…

 

And with that, the poor linguist gave up dreaming for good, 

and got back to her books like a true Germanist should.

11 ways Oxford is a little bit like Star Wars

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I saw the Force Awakens earlier today, and it was excellent. It also made me think of a few ways in which Oxford was actually quite similar to the Star Wars universe. So to celebrate the beginning of the new trilogy, here are a few ways Oxford is just a little bit like Star Wars

  1. Ever walked down the Gladstone Link tunnel and pretended you’re Darth Vader?

    No, me neither… but you have to admit, those space station-like white and grey walls make you feel like you’re in a Galaxy far far away…

  2. They’re big money-spinners.

    Star Wars has an estimated worth of around $30 billion, while Oxford University contributes about £750 million to the local economy every year. The Dark Side is rather like the clubs in Oxford – the Sith, Empire, Emporium – they keep changing their names, but they’re still the same old enemies guaranteed to give you a headache. 

  3. They both cause embarrassments we’d all rather forget.

    Like any University, Oxford has given its students memories of entzes, bops and society memberships they wish had never happened. We’re looking at you, Prime Minister. Whereas Star Wars has the infamous and hilarious disaster that was the 1978 Holiday Special, complete with a musical number featuring Dorothy from The Golden Girls. It has understandably never been released on home video and only exists today through underground bootlegged copies. 

  4. Identikit dogsbodies that keep the populace in line.

    Could refer to the stormtroopers or the Union’s staff, well known for their line-keeping and general subservience to the private members club’s cause.

  5. They’ve both been accused of selling out.

    George Lucas offloaded his baby to corporate giants Disney in 2012, while Oxford isn’t averse to private investment. How’d you think that ugly 70s quad in your college got its name? 

  6. They both have their own numbering system.

    Trying to explain why the first three films are actually the fourth, fifth and sixth can get confusing, much like trying to explain ‘0th week’ to your friends and family.

  7. Even the Force can’t stop fire alarms.

    While Oxford students are used to that one guy that sets off the alarms once a week, Star Wars fans can suffer the same fate. On Thursday, the George Street Odeon’s screening of Star Wars: the Force Awakens was cut short by a fire alarm. 

  8. They’ve also inspired imitations with different levels of success. Star Wars has James Bond’s bizarre (but arguably brilliant) Moonraker, and practically every sci-fi film and parody since 1978. Oxford has Cambridge.
  9. They both have a Death Star.

    Okay they don’t. But, the Blade Runner-esque St Catherine’s College holds the same utilitarian ethos of the Death Star. Its architect Arne Jacobsen designed every detail from the doors to the cutlery. We imagine Lord Vader would approve. Just imagine if it was squarer, with more concrete and less reflectiveness. 

  10. Science and the Arts come together well.

    While everyone loves a bit of rivalry over how Science students can’t write a sentence, and Arts students can’t count, we’re all friends with each other and live side by side. Star Wars combines opera, historical and classical allusions with science-fiction. In Force Awakens alone, director JJ Abrams has drawn parallels between the First Order and the Nazis who escaped to Argentina after the war. But the Nazi allusions don’t stop there, the Empire, the Jedi Purge, and more, are all interpreted as references to the Second World War. 

  11. The merchandise.

    We all know you can buy a range of Star Wars merchandise from t-shirts to dead-stock figurines of Jar Jar Binks. But you can also buy a range of Oxford-branded scarves, tankards to a teddy-bear in subfusc. How long until we see Lego tutors? Too long. 

Convinced? 

Why is it never ‘terrorism’ when they’re white?

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“This is for Syria, my Muslim brothers.” These were the words of Muhaydin Mire, the ‘terrorist’ who a few weeks ago wielded his Stanley knife at Leytonstone Tube Station, injuring but thankfully not killing three innocent Londoners.  This particular remark is what led police to categorise this violence as a ‘terrorist incident’, a description which, as far as I’m concerned, is not particularly helpful or accurate.

Now at first you might think I’m being slightly obtuse — of course it was terrorism, you’d say. There was a young man, of Somalian or Sudanese origin, speaking with an Arabic accent according to eyewitnesses, who set out to kill innocent people. What’s more, he was acting on behalf of what he himself described as his “Muslim Brothers” in Syria — better known as ISIS to you and me. His actions even seem to fit the dictionary definition of terrorism as ‘the unofficial or unauthorised use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims’.

So why am I being so stubborn? Why can’t I just accept that the Leytonstone attack was terrorism? You probably think I should just get off my lefty-liberal Corbynista terrorist-sympathising high horse and accept like everyone else that this is just a new form of terrorism that we must all recognise and fight. There is a reason why I won’t.

On Tuesday 10th November, a month before the Leytonstone incident, a Japanese national and octogenarian Yoshiyuki Shinohara chose to push an unsuspecting woman into an oncoming Tube Train at Piccadilly Circus. Luckily his victim survived the ordeal although Shinohara was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder. But nobody labelled the incident as terrorism. There was no blanket media coverage where politicians, police chiefs and commentators asserted the need for ever greater vigilance and ever-more resources in the fight against terror, stoking already high levels of fear amongst the population. It was just another crime on the tube, like the other 2,255 violent crimes which occurred on the network last year. So what was it that made Leytonstone so different from Piccadilly Circus or for that matter any of these other violent crimes?

Very little, as far as I can see. Of course, Mire did shout “this is for Syria” and his aims probably were political. But who is to say Shinohara was not harbouring some political motive and what reason is there to assume Mire was any more mentally stable? What’s more, imagine if Shinohara had shouted “this is for Syria”. I very much doubt whether anybody would have labelled him a terrorist. People would have just said that he was a crazy old man whereas Mire on the other hand was a young Somali Muslim — far more likely to be a terrorist, surely?  It appears then that when we use the word terrorism to describe events we do so not just on the basis of the presence or absence of political motivation, but on our prejudices: racial and religious. It is for this reason I am uncomfortable applying the word terrorism to describe events at Leytonstone. Worse still, the way in which we define terrorism also affects how we respond to it.

No better example of this is Donald Trump’s call “for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States” in the wake of the California shootings.  This typifies the often dangerous reactions which can be elicited by declaring a form of violence to be terrorism, demonstrating the need for caution before doing so. To their credit, US security services did this, initially refusing to call the shootings terrorism. Only once the identities and backgrounds of the perpetrators – married couple Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik – had been discovered was the label applied, due to the knowledge that they had been radicalised in Saudi Arabian training camps. Now, I don’t deny for one minute that the California Shootings were terrorism. Neither do I dispute that it was correct to express this fact in the media. My concern is simply the ubiquity of ethnic and religious prejudice when defining and reacting to tragedies such as this.

Take Charleston, South Carolina, where on the 17th June this year white supremacist Dylann Roof entered the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and murdered nine worshippers in cold blood. Very few people classified his actions as terrorism, despite the fact Roof was politically motivated in his violence, admitting his intention was to start a race war. He targeted people due to their identity, killing them because of his beliefs, like ISIS. The only reason I can see why people didn’t call him a terrorist was because of who he was, because he was white, because he was a Christian. None of these factors seem legitimate to me.

It seems then that we determine whether or not something is terrorism based on the race and religion of those who carry out the act. If this was of limited consequence then I might be more ambivalent but this simply isn’t the case. The fight against Islamic fundamentalists seems to permit us to step over an invisible line, to say things we would not normally think acceptable, to justify things we would not normally consider permissible: mass surveillance laws, drone strikes in civilian areas, Guantanamo Bay.

Now it could be argued that all this is perfectly fine, as long as it is only the terrorists on the receiving end. However, this is almost never the case, with those often simply sharing the same race or religion as them being caught in the crossfire. And thanks to our selective use of the word ‘terrorism’ it is mostly Muslims and those from the Middle East who become the victims of our response. After all, it’s not as though the Klu Klux Klan suddenly felt the full military force of Western Governments after Charleston with all whites and Christians suddenly becoming acceptable collateral damage. Nor did we see Theresa May calling for a ban on all Japanese nationals after events at Piccadilly Circus involving Mr Shinohara. 

So where do we draw the line? We start by using the word terrorism properly, ridding it of our racial and religious prejudices. We should stop using it to describe everyday crimes on the Tube and instead use it to describe events which fit the true meaning of the word, such as the murder of African-American churchgoers, motivated by the colour of the victims’ skin. Then maybe if we stopped using the word so excessively, and instead started to use it more selectively, our response to many tragedies could become a little less unjust.

Are Rhodes Must Fall student fascists?

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Oxford, like the rest of this country, is a systemically racist space. This does not mean that it is a university of card carrying, white sheet wearing racists. I am not saying that the UK is some sort of bigot-majority state. I, for one, have great faith in the good intentions and lack of conscious racism among British people today, be they white or people of colour. All this means, as the University recognises openly and is committed to changing, is that BME background people at Oxford and in Britain suffer serious and often violent disadvantages in their engagement with our society, through a complex of subtle factors: structural, psychological, often unconscious.

Curriculums across the board show an alarming preference for the work of white thinkers when there is no other reason to select them. According to the most recent information available about minorities in higher-level academia, a comprehensive 2011 University and College Union survey, Oxford has one of the greatest hiring gaps for professors of different racial and ethnic backgrounds in the UK. While 13% of the British population is from a BME background, only 3.9% of Oxford’s professors are, compared to 6.4% at Cambridge, 9.1% at Kings College London and 8.1% at Oxford Brookes. The University’s figures from the three-year period finishing 2014 showed a 26% acceptance rate for white applicants against a 16% acceptance for BME applicants, though this last picture is of course clouded by variation in choice.

A few moments browsing government statistics show horrific discrepancies across the country in far too many fields – try poverty, healthcare provision, severity of judicial punishment (for identical crimes, that is), police treatment, access to social welfare, housing, mental health and suicide rates, even life expectancy. Racism is still, somehow, an issue, and the numbers are too dispiriting for Christmas time.

This is the context of the Rhodes Must Fall movement, a Great Britain and university where – despite the best, most laudable intentions in so many places – racism still prevails.

This does not mean that we must by necessity take the Rhodes statue down, however. The way we interact with the past is complex and treacherous: it would be unwise to leap to conclusions and lob him straight into the river, like a replay of the Saddam Hussein statue in Baghdad – even though he was a similar murderer and despot. Oriel’s careful plan for a “structured six-month listening exercise” involving “students and staff of the College and the wider University, alumni, heritage bodies, Oxford City Council, residents of Oxford, and other members of the public” should be commended.

What is in no way praiseworthy, however, is any discussion of the issue that fails to engage with the voices of those who are actually affected by the issue: the individuals who undergo prejudice and systemic discrimination on a daily basis, who have these questions of racial prejudice, of the statue and celebratory plaque as very real parts of their lives. I wish it was, but the legacy of colonialism is not just some fascinating intellectual issue, three sides of A4 for Tuesday, but a direct and violent part of the lives of far too many students in Oxford. Any muting of these voices is toxic.

This is why much discussion of the issue has such pernicious effects. Writers in the national press have grossly represented the RMF movement as an “unhistorical” Futurist rush or wild Cultural Revolution-style book-burning erasure of history. It is, unfortunately for their website hit counts, substantially less sensational than either of these. It is little more than a reasoned call for conversation about Britain’s colonial past and present, and an objection to the unconsidered celebration of a hate-filled, deluded individual. Instead there are wild, paranoid accusations and a sort of witch hunt of imaginary bleeding-heart liberals, probably humanities students or vegetarians (horror!). The cause? A failure to even consider listening to the arguments and experiences of those involved in the movement.

A picture has been painted, moreover, of a powerful minority of student activists who are pressing all too successfully for censorship in universities across the country, and the Rhodes Must Fall campaign is seen as a symptom of this. There is a painful lack of faith to facts, here: RMF’s online petition currently has 2324 signees, a strange sort of “small minority”, as one group of academics described the campaign. The irony of accusing the movement of censorship is worse, however, and far more dangerous.

This movement was started as and remains a call for discourse. It represents the voices of people forced into a position of weakness in our society, who are still under-represented in British media and politics. It calls for curriculums that do not erase and censor a writer on account of the colour of their skin, and it gives sound to voices that history has stamped out until far too recently. Those who claim to stand for freedom of speech should examine Rhodes Must Fall carefully, and then examine the actions they have taken towards its voices. Who, are you certain, is silencing who?

Is ‘bisexual’ a dirty word?

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Bisexuality occupies a strange position in society. It manages to be mainstream and visible (a whole quarter of the ‘LGBT’ acronym!) at the same time as being very difficult to label and pin down. Of all the letters in the extended LGBT+ alphabet soup, ‘B’ might be the most nebulous. Anyone looking at film, TV or celebrity news with the eyes of a desperate bisexual looking for representation, as I do more often than I’d like, can tell that there’s an awful lot more bisexual behaviour around than there are people using the actual word. So while attraction to multiple genders is getting more visible, but not discussed using the right vocabulary, it seems to be the specific word ‘bisexual’ that seems to be a dirty word.

After a lot of wondering why that might be, I think it comes down to the very simple matter of a lot of people just not knowing what the word means.

We should probably begin with the important but more difficult than you’d think matter of defining bisexuality. The idea that it means attraction to men and women is now generally thought of as out-dated in a climate of growing awareness of non-binary gender identities. Though it is often pointed out that ‘bi’ means ‘two’, the definition that makes the least people angry seems to be attraction to people of your gender and people of other genders, keeping the ‘two’ that is so important to amateur etymologists and recognising the experience of many bisexual people who are capable of attraction to more than the binary genders.

Given the enormous amount of debate it’s taken for people to struggle to that definition, it’s likely that there will never be one that makes everyone happy. The one we’ve got seems to be mostly true and not to inspire great crossness, but it does make bisexuality and pansexuality very difficult to distinguish. With such similar definitions, it mainly seems to come down to personal preference for what people want to identify as. Some people say there’s a difference between pansexual total disregard for gender as a part of attraction, and bisexual attraction to all genders while recognising the distinctions between them. This difference works for me, and is the reason I go with bi instead of pan, but there are members of both communities who reject these definitions and sometimes go as far as to put them the other way round. But since no one really understands this and space is limited, let’s move on.

Bisexual erasure is all over the place in storytelling. Look at Orange is the New Black. Despite Piper’s insistence in episode one that sexuality ought to be measured on a Kinsey scale rather than thought of as black and white, and then going on to show attraction to more than one gender, watching the show crawl agonisingly towards an awareness of its protagonist’s apparent sexuality is like pulling teeth. In three seasons, the show has never yet managed to use the word ‘bisexual’. A dirty word indeed. Equally, the gay community’s (particularly the gay male community’s) adoration of Brokeback Mountain is very quick to acknowledge the validity of Jack and Ennis’ same-gender relationship, but not either of their different-gender relationships. With both fictional and real people, the public is quick to leap dramatically from gay to straight and back again without considering the b-word in the middle.

As with Jack and Ennis, so with real life. People’s assumptions about multiple gender attracted fictional characters illustrate a lot about people’s misconceptions about bisexuality in the real world. One of the most widely spread myths is that all bisexuals eventually ‘pick a side’ when they end up with someone of whatever gender. How many shows have we all seen where the kooky girl has a relationship with a woman as part of a grand will-they-won’t-they romance with a man, only to have her same-sex relationship completely ignored by the writers, the characters and the audience after she gets together with her one true love? I know I’ve seen enough.

This all feeds into the cultural assumption that bisexuality doesn’t really exist, that multiple gender attracted people always end up settling into heterosexuality or homosexuality. I’ve seen a lot of this first hand, as a bisexual woman currently dating a man, with my only other long term relationship having been with a woman. Am I secretly straight? Gay? Dreadfully confused? I’ve been accused of having every sexuality under the sun in the year or so since I came out as bisexual. There are a lot of pervasive cultural ideas about bisexuals, particularly bisexual women (from what I’ve seen, there’s fewer specific stereotypes about bisexual men who, for better or worse, are totally brushed under the carpet rather than just being gossiped about). Bisexual women are just slutty, just doing it to impress boys, just trying to look interesting – and if I ever have another discussion with a random bloke in a pub about whether I’m more likely to cheat on my boyfriend (I’m not) or be up for threesomes (not for you to hear about even if I am, random pub man), then I could well end up hurting somebody.

The ultimate answer to whether ‘bisexual’ is a dirty word, then, comes down to people not understanding it, the word or the concept. Nobody wants to use a word they don’t really understand, particularly when it describes a concept that might not even exist. For bisexuals, that means an awful lot of defining things to people, repeating the same definition over and over again, hoping against hope that people will get the hang of it. It’s difficult and it’s bang-your-head-against-the-wall frustrating, but maybe cultural climates surrounding sexual identity are starting to change, and you can tell yourself that every question you answer is you helping society move on a little bit. Whether you believe that or not is up to you.

Rhodes Must Fall respond to Oriel’s plan of action

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Rhodes Must Fall Oxford has released an exclusive statement to Cherwell regarding Oriel College’s major new declaration of its intentions for the controversial statue of Cecil Rhodes, and the treatment of BME (black and minority ethnic) students in the college.

“We’re happy to see that Oriel College has started moving in the right direction by announcing their intention to take down the Rhodes plaque on King Edwards Street. At the same time, their decision to maintain the statue but open a 6-month ‘listening period’ seems disingenuous, given that we have invited them to engage us in an open, transparent, and accountable way – and they refused.  (Brian Kwoba)

As indicated in the name of our movement, Rhodes Must Fall Oxford has demanded that the statue of Cecil Rhodes should be removed. Commitment to a listening exercise is not the same as commitment to taking the statue down. Our movement is concerned with symbolism as well as other aspects of decolonization, such as curriculum and representation. The action plans that Oriel College has committed to are a starting point in dealing with the process of decolonization, but they are not sufficient.

Oriel College has acknowledged the petition which has finally lead to a public declaration that Rhodes was a colonialist whose values are ‘unacceptable’, a label they resisted using in their previous statements. The college taking a firm stance against Rhodes means we can begin to deal with the legacy of colonialism which continues at Oxford in the form of institutional racism. Oriel College has said that addressing the experiences of BME students is important to the success of the university; hopefully they also see the way that these issues are directly linked to Britain’s colonial history and continuous role in global affairs. Additionally, Oriel College’s mention of fundraising as a core aspect of addressing Rhodes’ legacy means that they understand questions of finance to be central to decolonization. (Tadiwa Madenga)

In the short term, we want to contest and expose those features of Oriel’s statement which fall short of our demands, including their refusal to take down the statue of a colonialist who masterminded the dispossession, murder, and terrorization of countless southern Africans and imposed a regime of labour exploitation for the benefit of mining companies. These companies, such as Lonmin, still extract precious minerals and wealth from the Black African descendants of Rhodes’ victims to this day. In the long term, we aim to continue pushing for the other aims of our movement: decolonization of the Eurocentric and white supremacist academic curriculum at Oxford, as well as transforming the demographic representation at the university to reflect a larger proportion of BME staff and students. (Brian Kwoba)”

A response to this statement from Simran Uppal, Cherwell Comment Editor, can be found here.

Out of the Blue Christmas cover: a playful wonder

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Out of the Blue, Oxford’s all-male a cappella group, have stunned audiences this week with their Christmas cover of the infamous ‘Santa Baby’. As well as showing off their usual dulcet tones as a tight-knit barbershop group, the members, made up of students from both Oxford and Oxford Brookes universities, star in a fabulously light-hearted video as they roam the streets, colleges and libraries of Oxford. 

Released on Monday (14th December), the video managed to amass 100,000 Youtube views within the first 48 hours. It has also impressively been shared by the Huffington Post, the Daily Mail, Metro and ABC News. 

This comes as no surprise for the hit music group, as previous accolades have included a tweet from Shakira herself after they covered her hit single ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ which, in turn, accumulated 6 million Youtube hits, as well as raising £10,000 for charity. The group’s 2014 Christmas single was also exceedingly popular, as their cover of ‘All I Want for Christmas Is You’ showed the singers gallivanting around the Bodleian’s Old Schools’ Quad and Divinity Schools.

But these fantastic harmonies and cheesy jazz-hand shots are not all fun and games: last year the Christmas single raised an astonishing £15,000 for Helen and Douglas House, a children’s hospice in Oxford that cares for children and young adults with life limiting illnesses. This year Out of the Blue are hoping to raise a similarly fantastic sum for the hospice, and are selling the single with all proceeds going to the worthy cause. They are also encouraging any donations to Helen and Douglas House.

I spoke to Out of the Blue President, Deon Fang, who told me that the adventurous video was shot over the course of one day during their UK tour, with filming starting at 7:30am.

When asked how the group managed to settle on ‘Santa Baby’ as their cover song of choice, Fang said: “’Santa Baby’ was a natural choice for us. It’s right up our alley because it’s playful but also a serious Christmas hit, with covers by everyone from Ariana to RuPaul. It was an opportunity to nail our colours to the mast and make a declaration of style as individual vocalists – all twelve of us have a solo – and as a group. I also enjoyed how the video’s message of togetherness and finding joy in each other allowed us to satirise the over-the-top materialistic text of the song.”

One of the most impressive things about the video is the unadulterated quality of vocal performance professionally mixed in with the humour of the choreography. Fang told me that the video, choreographed by Laura Day, was “a chance for us to showcase the abilities of the group as performers, beyond musicianship and vocal ability. That’s something we take seriously and put consistent effort into building, so that viewers can hopefully feel included in the fun we’re having, whether on-stage or through a screen.”

Fang finished with: “It’s been thrilling and humbling to receive such a positive reaction from the media. We’re hoping the attention will translate to more revenue for Helen & Douglas House, who depend on these donations, and whose incredible work we are honoured to support.”  

Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syOoUZH9rVk

Download the single here: https://ootboxford.bandcamp.com/track/santa-baby-charity-single