Thursday 21st August 2025
Blog Page 1203

Athletics club descend on BUCS

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Two weeks ahead of the 141st Athletics varsity match, a huge number of Oxford athletes took to Bedford to provide a glimpse into varsity match fortunes and to give them a chance to compete against the best athletes in the country with inter­national representatives and medallists in almost every event.

Sadly there were a few notable absentees for Oxford who would have been at the fore­front of their events, who were missing due to a variety of reasons, many preserving their bodies for the varsity match.

Most notably though, Oxford were missing their talismanic Men’s Captain, Sam Trigg. On paper the class act of his Triple Jump field, the athlete was forced to miss the champion­ships as a condition of the scholarship he has obtained to jump in the US from next year, at New Mexico University.

Despite not fielding a full strength squad, the weekend can most certainly be consid­ered a success for the Dark Blues, whose presence in almost all races and field compe­titions overshadowed a comparatively tiny Cambridge team. The highlight for Oxford saw first year postgrad Miles Unterreiner, fresh from a glittering athletics career at Stanford, take an outstanding silver medal in the 10,000m as he was narrowly beaten by Jonny Hay, a GB senior international.

In addition to this, Oxford athletes made the finals right across the board, with many also picking up their Full Blue standards in the process. Our women’s throwers proved they were going to be hard to beat, with Oxford discus record-holder Christina Nick making the finals in discus and shot, joined by compatriot Anna Niedbala in the discus, both attaining the Blues standard. Also jumping the Blues standard were Ezra Leonce and Women’s captain Montana Jackson in the triple jump, both making their respective fi­nals and showcasing the strength of Oxford’s jumps team even without Trigg.

Further Blues standards were beaten on the track by George Gundle (400m), who narrowly missed out on making the final of the 400m, and Emily Moss, who did make the final of the 1500m only to have to pull out on the morning as a precaution. A number also only narrowly missed out, including fresher Louis Rawlings in the 800m, who showed a clear ability to run faster but was limited by the tactical nature of his races, though doing extraordinarily well to make the final in a high class field. In a similar position, Will Christofi and Jamie Parkinson both placed in the top 10 of their 5000m final, but both found themselves victim to a very slow and tactical race, not suited to their abilities. Further finalists on the track included three who set high personal bests in the steeple­chase, Dani Chattenton with 7:26 for 10th in the Ladies 2000m race, Alex Howard (6th, 9:16) and Aidan Smith (11th, 9:33) in the Men’s 3000m race.

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Commenting on the overall performance of the squad, men’s captain Trigg appreciated the difficulties of competing against sport­ing institutions such as Loughborough and Bath, but praised the strength of the squad as a whole, noting the number of Oxford athletes in finals. He finished by adding that “running, jumping and throwing against the best in the country, we showed that we’re not just a place for brains and we can be competi­tive against the best in the country”.

Somerville end Teddy bears’ picnic

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Somerville emerged victorious in this year’s Netball Cuppers, defeating Keble in the final, with the 2014 champions, Teddy Hall, losing at the semi-final stage.

Twenty-nine teams, up on the twenty from 2014, entered to play for the coveted title of Netball Cuppers champions 2015, a tourna­ment played over a single day at the Marston Community Centre. It is truly remarkable that over 200 girls came out for the colleges, as well as plenty of supporters for each team. Netball can generate something of a bad reputation sportsmanship-wise, yet Hebe Westcott, the OUNC Cuppers and League secretary, com­mented on the smooth mixing of novices to OUNC players, with “plenty of apologies for stepping on toes, which is a really nice con­trast to BUCS”.

The matches were short and sharp, with four pools of seven or eight and mixed ability in each team. Eight teams made it through to the quarter-finals, with an upset as League winners Oriel lost to a strong, tall Teddy Hall side. Teddy Hall and New then lost in the semi-finals, setting up a Keble versus Somerville final. The Keble support should be com­mended, with the majority of the rugby team, and even the captain’s mother, turning out to shout. However, this support did not quite give the boost needed as Somerville emerged triumphant.

Somerville were strong throughout the tournament, especially in defence. Harriet Dixon, the Goal Defence for the Blues, as well as a Blues fencer, was invaluable for the college team, dominating their defence and preventing the conceding of many goals throughout the day. In the first half, Keble appeared dominant, but Somerville put their heads down and pulled away to victory.

One of the intentions of the tournament is to foster team spirit amongst colleges and sporting competitiveness, which may be missed in a term of revision and exams. This was particularly apparent in the umpiring by every college, and the respect shown for decisions. The popularity and strength of net­ball was evident in the fact of many colleges entering more than one team, and even an appearance by Osler House.

Netball is the perfect way for many people to become involved in sport, and turn out for their college, with leagues running through Michaelmas and Hilary terms. In all divisions except Division One, each team may have a male player, and mixed netball Cuppers are being held later in the term. An OUNC mem­ber commented that all teams and players came with a “brilliant attitude”, and it was a great tournament for all involved.

Homelessness: a tragic and misunderstood reality

Oxford has one of the highest per capita levels of homelessness of any city in the country. There is both intense misconception about the causes and scale of the problem, and confusion as to how to attempt reduce it.

While most people have moved away from the view that the homeless are homeless entirely due to personal fault or weakness, the issue remains a deeply misunderstood one. This is just as true with respect to the perceptions of Oxford students as of any others across the country. Consider, briefly, what would be the first reasons you would offer if someone asked why it is that the homeless you see have come to be so. Would you point to relationship breakdown? Or leaving prison with nowhere to go? Or perhaps being forced out of the family home?

In a survey of over 1000 University students, it was found that the most widely perceived cause of homelessness was believed to be addiction. The other possible causes respondents could choose ranged from relationship breakdown, to leaving prison, to mental health problems, or being forced out of the family home. All were highlighted by fewer people as a significant cause of homelessness. Indeed, only nine per cent gave family breakdown as a primary cause, while only two per cent selected leaving prison.

These beliefs are as dangerous as they are lacking a basis in reality. In a study of people who either are or have been homeless, run by Shelter, the single most common cause was found to be relationship breakdown, with this being given as a primary cause by 41 per cent of respondents. Meanwhile, 25% responded that being released from prison and having no other option was a primary cause behind their situation. The disparity between perceptions and reality here serves to underline why homelessness is so low on policy agendas. As the tendency to focus on addiction shows, too often we take the view that these are people who have brought around their own predicament and are failing to escape due to lack of effort.

I have seen this attitude repeatedly in my time here, as otherwise extremely caring people express the opinion that the homeless generally could, if they just tried a bit harder, pull themselves out of their situation.

Another problem is the lack of comprehension of the scale of the problem; in the survey 73 per cent of respondents thought that at least half of all homeless people were actually sleeping rough. In actual fact, for every rough sleeper you see, there will be 100 more in hostels. In 2013, over 112,000 declared themselves homeless. On top of this, the ‘hidden homeless’, consisting of a far larger group who have found temporary accommodation in insecure housing, push the demographic into the many hundreds of thousands.

The problem is clearly one that needs solving. This in itself is a complex issue, as seen in the Council’s ‘Your Kindness Could Kill’ campaign. Intended to convey how it is usually more effective to give money to charities that could better pool superior resources, some inferred from this slogan the implication that money given directly to the homeless will necessarily be used to buy alcohol and drugs.

However, despite these difficulties, there are a number of things which can be done. If you see someone sleeping rough, call ‘No Second Night Out’ on 0300 500 0914. They are a group committed to trying to ensure than no one sleeps rough more than once more after they have been altered. Alternatively, if you want to give money in some way but are worried about how it will be used, put money in the homeless medical fund collection boxes in your college receptions.

Homelessness is a far larger problem than is usually thought; it needs to be acted against, and unless it is accepted that it is not just the responsibility of the homeless person but also the rest of society to help get them out of their situation, many will end up stuck in a cycle which can so easily be avoided

Debate: Is Cuntry Living bad for feminism?

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Yes

Louisa Manning

I am a feminist. Last year, I joined the Cuntry Living Facebook group, which describes itself as “an Oxford-based feminist zine”. However, having been on the group for some time, I have come to think Cuntry Living is bad for feminism.

I want to point out that I do not think it fails in every respect. For many people from marginalised groups, it does provide a space in which they can express their feelings about the oppression which they have suffered and discuss what it is that can be done to bring about change.

However, and particularly recently, those within the Cuntry Living journalistic movement have increasingly marginalised and attacked those not adhering to their particular view on feminism. As a direct result of this, the group has become a militant, aggressive space which actively harms women’s voices and effectively shuts down feminist discussion.

In a modern world where feminism embraces and emphasises plurality, the trigger- happy attitude the admins hold towards banning members is counter-productive.This was clearly highlighted when one member was banned simply for suggesting that a political cartoon failing to depict the three female party leaders could have done so for reasons other than sexism. Similarly, women who identify as feminists but disagree with issues such as sex-work have been instantly silenced by admins and received warnings for expressing their views.

Underlying this is an incredible degree of judgement on behalf of the admins about who is a ‘real’ feminist. If further evidence of this is needed, some have recently admitted to Facebook-stalking members’ profiles to assert whether or not they are “legit feminists”.

This unnecessarily aggressive approach to the moderation and control of the views expressed on the group means many members fear posting. This goes against the fundamental principles of what such a group should be about, as, rather than silencing and suppressing important conversations, it ought to be promoting feminist debate and allowing all those with a heartfelt opinion to be heard out.

Another problem with Cuntry Living in its present form is whether it can truly claim (as it does) to be an intersectional space. The issue is that with the number of groups represented in its 8,500 member base, there will naturally be domination of some over others.

Mixed-race erasure, for example, is common: being half Latino, whenever I’ve become involved with threads discussing race, I’ve been accused of ‘passing privilege’ and have been instructed to identify as white when talking to people of colour. Needless to say this makes commenting uncomfortable and daunting.

Thus, Cuntry Living essentially creates an attitude of mixed-race erasure and in doing so it completely fails in its aim to be an intersectional space, and in fact furthers the marginalisation of some of the groups it claims to represent.

On top of this, the patronising, self-righteous tone admins take when issuing warnings promotes a classism and elitism: Cuntry Living’s admins fail to recognise that with the group’s expansion to involve new groups, many of the members now involved have not benefitted from their educational privileges. In order to succeed as an intersectional feminist space, the group needs to be as accessible as possible – something which it is currently not.

Emma Watson’s HeForShe speech last September emphasised the need for feminism not only to involve and mobilise women, but also any possible allies of the movement. Watson did a good job of presenting feminism as it should be; not as a man-hating philosophy, but as one where everyone should take equal involvement in striving for gender equality.

Cuntry Living, on the other hand, superficially welcomes men but deeper down takes a strong ally-exclusionary attitude. Views are dismissed purely on the basis of someone appearing white, heterosexual and male.

A recent case of this includes a recent post where a non-binary person posted a criticism of Cuntry Living and was instantly shouted down for being ‘male’ and ‘invading a feminist space’. Doing this – judging members on the basis of their profile picture and silencing potential allies’ opinions – directly harms feminism’s progress as it further conforms to damaging stereotypes and risks allowing this version of feminism to become popularised.

Considering possible routes forward, it seems that some of Cuntry Living’s problems would be reduced through a resolution of its identity crisis: it claims to be a safe space but equally says “healthy debate is welcomed”. It can’t be both – it can’t provide both a space where people can rant unquestioned and at the same time be one where open debate is welcomed. Its expansion makes this problem even more pronounced.

Though Cuntry Living’s original aims may have been positive, it’s no longer either a safe space nor an educational one – it’s become a group dominated by a single mentality which alienates anyone not adhering to a particular strand of feminism.

No

Niamh McIntyre

Cuntry Living has a special place in my heart. I came to Oxford as a nervous, unconfident 18-year-old with a hell of a lot of internalised misogyny, a tentative feminist who probably wouldn’t have loudly identified as such in front of the boys at sixth-form college. Joining Cuntry Living was a hugely important moment in my feminist awakening; it was through Cuntry Living, as much as the people I met in real life at university, that I encountered loud, proud, outspoken, unapologetic feminists. I would obsessively follow threads populated by people much more knowledgeable than I was, until I became confident and well-read enough to participate in this new community I so admired.

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To question whether Cuntry Living is a force for good, however, I should maybe take off these rose-tinted spectacles. I’m now approaching the end of my second year, and the Cuntry Living I joined is very distinct from the group today. Because, somewhere along the line, without anyone understanding why or how, Cuntry Living has become a hugely important Oxford institution. Not only that, but it’s expanded far beyond the Oxford student community, or even the student community. It’s a space that no one can quite control or define. It’s not a completely safe space, despite the best efforts of its admins, but it’s not an educational space, open to everyone, either. It’s not only the objectives and ethos of the group which are constantly shifting and expanding: at the time of writing, Cuntry Living has 8,495 members, with new members joining from all corners of the internet every day. Every time a new banning scandal comes along, we re-ignite the questions around the limits of the space.

For me, there is at least one essential characteristic of Cuntry Living: it’s a space to rant about the patriarchy, a space for solidarity, rage, and organising. This is a core value worth fighting for – but also one that is increasingly difficult to defend in a group so huge. Whether it achievesit or not, Cuntry Living aims to be a space where oppressed people who are silenced and shouted down in real life or in other online spaces, should be able to speak without fear.

Enforcing this principle in a group with thousands of members, many of whom are unfamiliar with the etiquette of safe spaces or online activism, is a thankless task. Currently, many members would consider the safe spaces policy a waste of time, an example of the ‘censorious’ tendency of social justice; but for others, they are both radical and vital and I completely believe that Cuntry Living should strive to be as safe as possible.

I won’t defend every decision an admin has ever made to ban someone on Cuntry Living. I haven’t followed every case; I’m sure that mistakes have been made, and people unfairly removed. But for me, creating a community for marginalised voices is more important than the odd person wrongly slipping through the net.

This brings us to the tedious and ever-present questions of “debate” and “free speech”. Of course, healthy and respectful debate on Cuntry Living is the lifeblood of the group. Despite what some might think, there isn’t some monolithic, authoritarian feminist doctrine that everyone must follow. There isn’t one feminism, there are multiple feminisms, and Cuntry Living reflects this.

But at the same time, there are some things which aren’t up for debate. (Yes, I’ve heard that Voltaire quote before.) For example, there’s a particularly nasty strain of radical feminism which says that trans women are not really women: this is a view which would never be admitted on a Cuntry Living thread, and rightly so, because Cuntry Living holds itself to far higher standards of inclusivity than other places.

Those expecting Cuntry Living to be a 101 go-to educational forum 24/7 are likely to be disappointed. It’s okay to ask questions, of course, but only if those questions are asked in a respectful way. Many members of the group are tired of justifying why they deserve to be treated with basic human rights, and they don’t owe anything to privileged people who are too lazy to do some basic research on Google. Those who come to Cuntry Living with the aim of playing ‘devil’s advocate’ or proposing ‘thought experiments’ have fundamentally misunderstood the function of the group: sorry, white boy, but this space is about more than your intellectual gymnastics. Ultimately, this group is not and should not be run for those with privilege. And this is something that (shock!) privileged people have a hard time accepting.

Cuntry Living isn’t perfect. And this is part of the problem: many treat it as though it should be perfect, as though it should be a High Church of Feminism, all things for all people. And yet, despite the sensationalised banning scandals, despite the admins’ Reign of Terror, still the group continues to serve its purpose in the Oxford community and beyond. It’s not the group I joined, certainly, and there are a lot more dickheads and derailers on threads but, ultimately, I can still find solace and solidarity in an (imperfect) space in which we can challenge patriarchy and share our experiences of oppression.

Creaming Spires TT15 Week 2

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Perhaps  the  great  secret  about  sex  is that no one really likes it that much. I don’t like it that much, and I’m utterly convinced  that  a  great many –  if  not  the majority of – people feel the same. Yes, the urge is there, the promise is great – but in the merry moment the act resembles little more than  some  great  fleshy  catastrophe. For  a  long  time,  I  could  think  of nothing less  appetising  than  watching  two  mammals  rolling  over  and around  each  other and,  finally,  alas  (and  always  to  my  great 
horror) try to enter each other. Yes, the feeling was for a long time a mere nausea. That is until I discovered the humour of sex – it’s peculiar  brand  of comedy.  Laughter,  it  is true, is a great turn-off. There is no medium as industrially  unfunny  as  pornography, where irony and nuance are undiscovered countries.  But,  if  one  thinks  about  coitus objectively, there really is nothing funnier than  watching  two  (or  more)  desperately sweaty animals go at it. Sex is slapstick and fellatio is farce. Though,  as  I  say, nothing  is  a  greater turn-off  than  laughter.  I  discovered  this on one of those rare nights that I decided to take a guy home. I don’t have the balls 
to  talk  to  people  unless  I’m  apocalyptically  intoxicated  and,  thankfully, people will  rarely  proposition  someone  who’s incapable  of  standing.  And  so,  consequently,  casual,  stranger-sloppy  sex  is  a rarity.  Not  this  night. I  had  actually  met someone;  we  had  hit  it  off,  and  then  had commenced the usual mating ritual: first dancing, then eyeing, then getting closer, then exchanging saliva. He was pretty and charming (antonyms of my physique and character)  and  he  aroused  me.  I  was  extremely aroused. I even left the club early and  forfeited  another  drink,  knowing that I rarely performed well even without alcohol and hours of mental and physical preparation.  Well,  reader,  he  came  back to mine, and we got naked (this is usually when the dread kicks in – all those fluids!) and  –  good  lord!  –  I had  maintained  my erection!  This  was  unusual,  but  there  it was: mighty and defiant. Buoyed, I felt the dread and disgust dissipating. Could this be it? Could I actually begin to have enjoyable  sex?  Well  we  climbed  into  bed, the condom was fitted, and I was ready to dock. And  then  the  laughter.  I began  to  giggle and guffaw. Without the fog of dread and nausea, my mind was free to think of sex from a purely objective perspective. What had  once been  tragedy,  was  now  utter farce. To think of two nude frames snaking 
around each other, squirting a pustulant white  fluid  into  or  onto  each other and then  sucking  perhaps  the  most  hideous object in the known universe – well, I can’t think of any higher comedy. And so it was with  cackling  that this  little  adventure ended.  My  amour  departed,  my  pilaster softened, and normality returned. Thank heavens… 

Interview: Vernon Bogdanor

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If you were old enough or keen enough (I was the latter) to stay up through the night to watch the last election in 2010, then Vernon Bogdanor should be a familiar face, if not a familiar name. In his role as one of Britain’s foremost constitutional experts, he appeared throughout the night as one of the BBC’s academic pundits. His suitability for this prominent role was certainly not hindered by the fact he was David Cameron’s former tutor.

Whilst the result of yesterday’s election is now known, it wasn’t at the time of print, and when I ask Bogdanor who he thought would win, he keeps mum, telling me, “Anyone who says they know the answer is either a fool or a social scientist.” Well, I suppose we now know whether any of the fools or social scientists were right.

Moving onto less speculative matters, I ask Bogdanor how he thinks 2010 impacted the political system. For Bogdanor, the key thing is “the growth of the multi-party system”. He also points out the growing geographical fragmentation of politics, “We have got different party battles in different parts of the country. In Scotland, it is obviously a battle between Labour and the SNP, in the West Country of England between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats, in London much more between Labour and the Conservatives, in some of these East Coast towns, between Conservatives and UKIP. It is a question of whether it is a general election or a regional election or even a series of local by-elections. Even the idea of a national swing has gone.”

On whether the multi-party system is here to last, Bogdanor is clear, “I think the rise of a multi-party system is permanent and it fits in with trends in society because we no longer have a tribal system based on social classes. In the 1950s, people used to say, ‘We’ve always voted Labour,’ or, ‘My family has always been Conservative.’ We now live in a more consumerist society where people shop around. A third reason is that we have got PR for a lot of elections: for the Scottish Parliament, for the London Assembly, for the European Parliament and I think that might have accustomed people to vote for the smaller parties.“Ideally, I would like to see a single party majority government if more than 50 per cent of the people vote for it. I don’t want the kind of majority government like we had in 2005, when two-thirds of the country were against it. It is not in accordance with democracy.”

One of the key themes of this election has been the rise of the SNP, despite their defeat in last year’s referendum. Bodganor is optimistic about any role the SNP might play in the upcoming parliament, telling me, “SNP MPs are members of parliament on the same basis as any others. They have said they are going to play a constructive role and not just fight for independence. In my opinion, they should be taken at their word.

“The problem for Ed Miliband is that they will form an anti-austerity bloc including the Greens and some members of his own party. But he is committed to balancing the current budget by 2018 which mean cuts in public spending. There will be an anti-austerity bloc that will make it difficult for Miliband to govern.”

The Conservatives have often argued that a corollary of further devolution to Scotland is English votes for English laws, an argument with which Bogdanor disagrees adamantly. “I am against English votes for English laws. I think it is not right because England is by far the dominant partner of the Union with 85 per cent of the population, and we cannot have a symmetrical system. With such an unbalanced system, it is not possible. You cannot have two different governments, one for foreign policy and defence, one for health and housing. Anyway, what is an English issue? Anything which involves public expenditure is not strictly an English issue because it has a knock-on effect on Scotland through the Barnett formula. England has to accept a system of asymmetrical devolution and practice self-restraint to keep the union. We were not willing to pay that price for Ireland and we lost Ireland, and I don’t want the same to happen to Scotland; I am a unionist.”

The Scottish issue brings up the whole question of whether referenda are a good thing generally. Bogdanor’s response, “Yes, I think that in a democracy, people are entitled to have a say on issues. You can’t tell from the fact that somebody votes Conservative whether they favour staying in the EU or not. On the large issues, I think you can only get legitimacy through a referendum.”

Of course, there are many issues on which the opinions of the liberal elite and the population as a whole diverge, such as the death penalty. I ask Bogdanor whether the death penalty was an appropriate topic for a referendum, “If the demand were strong enough and a party favoured that, yes. I am against the death penalty and I take a perhaps old-fashioned, rationalist view that if the arguments against the death penalty are strong enough, they will win the day. I wouldn’t have a referendum on something that affects individual rights, like gay rights or things of that sort. I think they should be protected by the courts and shouldn’t be subjected to a majority democratic decision, but I am in favour of the wider use of referenda.”

As the conversation ended, I was left with an impression of a man full of optimism in Britain’s political system. Whilst the extent of his enthusiasm might be unwarranted, it is reassuring in light of the uncertainty around this election that Bogdanor sees the British system as fundamentally stable.

As Bogdanor says, “We are a highly stable country, much more so than most countries on the continent except for the Scandinavian countries. We have no really nasty right wing party like the Front National, no left wing nationalist party like Syriza. All our parties are moderate and committed to the constitutional system. There will be a way to make things work.”

Diary of a…JCR President

The life of a JCR President can be quite bizarre. It can also be very exciting, as among the countless hours spent in committees talking endlessly and the unpleasant tasks like telling your mates off for not doing their committee jobs, you also occasionally get to do something very cool. This week I had one of those cool moments. While I was desperately consulting my predecessor’s predecessor on how best to stop College taking all our money and generally being very mean, he told me about how College had also been quite mean during his tenure, when they tried to take a statue
owned by the JCR and put it into the MCR garden because they quite fancied it. Intrigued, I dug deeper and discovered both a great story and a very expensive piece of long-forgotten JCR property.
It all began in the JCR bar 60 years ago. Two students were sitting over their pints putting the world to rights. Ted Gough mentioned to Peter Somerset-Fry that he thought it would be wonderful if the JCR purchased a well-known piece of art to brighten up the college. He suggested perhaps a Henry Moore. Peter
countered with the suggestion of a work by Jacob Epstein, whom he speculated he could probably prevail upon to provide some work for a discounted price. He was very good friends with Epstein’s son, with whom he
happened to share a passion for motor cars. The idea, planted in the famously fertile soils of our bar, where countless great schemes have been dreamed up and nurtured through the liberal watering of many pints, bloomed into a reality after Epstein invited the JCR president and assorted others up to
his house a few weeks later. The sculptor then offered up a bronze cast
of Albert Einstein’s head, which the great mathematician had sat for in 1933, charging the very reasonable sum of £250. Following a presentation ceremony and a rather nice dinner (no doubt involving the bar at some point) the statue was placed in the library – probably to inspire the students, Einstein being quite well known for being rather clever. In the intervening six decades the knowledge of this bust’s existence and its rightful owners – the
students – was lost. Having disappeared at some unspecified point from the library it re-emerged slightly less impressively mounted in the walled and inaccessible MCR private garden, now crowned with a liberal spattering of bird shit. Only in Oxford could it not be a totally odd occurrence for a student
body to 1) come to own a piece by one of the greatest sculptors of the twentieth century because of a shared love of motor cars and 2) forget about it.
I am now engaged with the task of reclaiming the bronze and having it restored to its rightful place in the library, where the JCR and Epstein intended it to be. But how to go about this task? Well, having consulted a lawyer, I was advised to “just go and take it”, so yeah, now I have the happy prospect of gaining access to the MCR garden and walking away with a very expensive (and probably very heavy) piece of artwork, pulling off the art heist of the century on behalf of the JCR body. For the sake of my back and my
rapidly worsening relationship with College, let’s hope neither they nor the MCR has too much of a problem with this and offer to give me a hand when I ask them very nicely next week. I somehow doubt it

How to… successfully go punting

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Well, it’s Trinity Term. This means many things. For a start, we have more to complain about. Exams approach. The rain stubbornly continues to slap our faces sporadically. And we are reminded that the academic year is drawing to a close, bringing us nearer and nearer to being banished from 
Oxford’s pseudo-reality.

And so, with that pseudo-reality ever counting down to the big bad world, one has to assert oneself as indulgently an Oxonian as possible. And that’s where punting comes in. Anybody who is anybody will be stepping off that spongily steady Oxonian ground onto a faded wooden platform, generally overcramped, always unsteady, and always with enough water to induce discomfort. The name ‘punt’ stems from its explicit and choicy partner-rhyme, often used by anyone who is not an Oxbridge student, to describe those who are Oxbridge students, especially when within punts.

But don’t let that put you off. For after all, Wikipedia describes punting as “pleasure trips with passengers”. With no regret, I inform you that I will not be delving into the intricacies of these ‘pleasure trips’, that’s for the sexpositional Creaming Spires. But I can help with the punting basics. 

Firstly, there is Oxford Punting, and then there is Cambridge Punting. If you are an Oxonian, make sure always to punt whilst standing inside the boat, with the till forward. I don’t know what the till is either. This is always successfully accompanied with loud remarks that it would be “frankly absurd to punt with the open end forward”. Anyone who did that, would be, “quite frankly, a punt”. Well done. You have achieved a pretty average pun-joke, and asserted a succinct and stable hatred for Cambridge. Cue guffaws from you and your fellow punters. 

When in the punt, there are two necessities. For a start, if you complete a punting trip without someone falling in, it’s simply not entertaining. If you’re concerned that fate is not going to supply this important occurrence, then often a short sharp malicious push will do. Cue guffaws again. Lastly, make sure to take a selfie. Tilt the camera so that your head sits at the bottom of the frame, and perform an acutely ironic exaggerated grin. Your friend should be visible in the background holding the oar/pole/whatever-you-call-the-stupid-thing.

Stick to this framework, as it implicitly narrates yourself as laid-back, and your friend as your servile companion. I need to emphasise that the selfie is crucial. Try to upload it mid-punt. For, if you don’t then we must enter into a complex existential debate as to whether it really happened at all, without social-media-actualisation. And if you have not actually gone punting, then really you have just wasted my fucking time.

The International Student

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 “Enough is enough. This country and our government belong to all of us, not just a handful of billionaires.” This week Bernie Sanders, the longest-serving independent in the history of Congress, finally announced his candidacy for President. Just as his older brother Larry stands for Parliament here in Oxford West and Abingdon, Bernie will seek to mount a challenge to Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primaries.

Senator Sanders brings a refreshing integrity to the race. He has never relied on the backing of big money and has announced that he will not accept contributions from deep-pocketed donors in this race. He has promised to not run a single negative ad. Most importantly, he has never had trouble balancing power and principles.

 Asked how the voter might distinguish his policies from Clinton’s, Sanders takes pride in pointing to his past. “I voted against the war in Iraq… I voted against the Keystone pipeline.”He even voted against the anti-gay Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), where Clinton backed her husband in signing it. “I’m not evolving when it comes to gay rights, I was there!”

 Sanders is as resilient as he is honest. Before becoming Mayor of Burlington, Vermont in 1981, he lost two senatorial races and two gubernatorial races in which he gained 1-2 per cent of the vote. The ultra-progressive manifestos from those races will reappear in his bid for the presidency.

But Sanders’ populist economics now find broader audiences than ever before. In a much celebrated speech on the Senate floor in 2012, Sanders laid out the heart of his politics. “There is a war being waged by the wealthiest and most powerful people in this country against the working families, against the disappearing and shrinking middle class of our country.”

The senator’s principled attitude and narrow domestic focus, however, make his candidacy the longest of long shots. A self-described democratic socialist, the senator has proposed to invest a trillion dollars in infrastructure, health care, and raising the minimum wage. A modern type of New Deal politics could help America create jobs and capture the 2.3 trillion dollar renewables market. However, these radical proposals prevent him from garnering support outside the thin liberal strait to the left of Clinton.

On foreign policy, the senator’s own underdeveloped views and lack of experience are out of step with rampant conflict and global humanitarian crises. A Sanders presidency would mean the return of American isolationism. Sanders does not want the United States to lead the fight against ISIS, telling CNN in 2014, “I’ll be damned if kids in the state of Vermont have to defend the royal Saudi family, which is worth hundreds of billions of dollars.”

With small donors giving $ 1.5 million in the first 24 hours of his campaign, he outperformed all the Republican candidates. “I am in this race to win,” Sanders maintains. 40 years ago, an unknown Georgia Governor by the name of Jimmy Carter had little more than that going for him.

Life after the election: the birth of a new politics?

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There is much to say of the General Election just passed. In some senses, the British public are probably somewhat relieved that it is all over: media coverage of the election campaign has been relentless over the past five weeks. Perhaps now we can return to normality. The reality is, however, that British politics will never return to its run-of-the-mill form. The political landscape has been fundamentally altered and this General Election has ushered in a new type of politics.

Gone is the traditional left-right dichotomy. Voters, increasingly divorced from clearly defined partisan links, are no longer voting according to the issue dimensions that run parallel to the Left-Right divide. Half a century ago, one in four voters said they identified very strongly with one of the main parties; now that statistic is just one in ten. Equality versus freedom, public versus private ownership, the working classes versus the economic elite: these divisions retain some relevance but their impact has been significantly diminished by the appearance of new, cross-cutting dimensions. Polarised views on immigration, the environment and Britain’s membership of the European Union are just some examples of the new dimensions that have emerged.

Replacing the traditional Left-Right political jargon is the notion of an ‘insider-outsider’ distinction. Capitalising on voters who feel alienated by the policies of Britain’s ‘insider’ parties, the more populist ‘outsider’ parties – the SNP, the Greens and UKIP in particular – are gaining traction. The increase in support for parties other than Labour and the Conservatives is not necessarily a new phenomenon, but it does reflect the fact that the political landscape is changing in a more permanent way than ever before.

Coalitions and minority government are likely to continue to be a regular feature in the future. And this is despite a first-past-the-post (FPTP) electoral system that provides a significant advantage to the UK’s two largest parties. Fortunately, however, there does at last appear to be some recognition that more consensual, more pluralistic government may be the way forward. The old adage that majority governments generate strong and decisive policy-making continues to retain currency but there is a trade-off in terms of the extent to which the government represents the interests of the people as a whole. Conciliation and compromise are increasingly required to ensure that the interests of a large minority are not neglected.

What then of the future of British politics? This election has paid witness to a very considerable change in the shape of the political landscape but this change is more permanent than many commentators suggest. The elephant in the room is electoral system change. Given that the FPTP system benefits the two largest parties, neither Labour nor the Conservatives appear to have an incentive to support change and the comprehensive rejection of the Alternative Vote (AV) system in 2011 lends weight to the conclusion that electoral reform would simply not be possible.

UKIP are splitting the Conservative vote yet not translating their vote into a largely supportive bloc of right-wing legislative seats. Electoral reform in the shape of Proportional Representation (PR) may not be as far away as some think. Even if the Conservatives do not change their stance, an increasingly disproportionate electoral system is likely to force the issue.

Aside from electoral reform, there is likely to be one additional significant political change within the next generation. Scotland, in despite of last year’s referendum, appears to be moving inexorably towards the exit door. When historians reflect on the 2015 General Election, their focus is likely to be on the extraordinary rise of the Scottish National Party, a rise that does not appear to be on the wane any time soon.

The hegemony of Labour and the Conservatives is not necessarily over but it will certainly be difficult to recover. Voter concerns can no longer be grouped along a simple left-right continuum and the weakening of partisan ties has meant that the outsider parties are coming to the fore. Scottish and English nationalism are both serious concerns but there is some hope that this election will mark the beginning of the process towards electoral reform. A new politics has emerged from this election and it is one that requires conciliation and compromise rather than the conflicted politics of old.