Blog Page 1312

Review: Lost River

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★★☆☆☆
Two Stars

There’s a point about midway through Lost River, Ryan Gosling’s vibrant but frustrating feature directing debut, where the film takes an astonishing artistic risk, essentially lifting beat for beat an extended sequence from Blue Velvet, where Dean Stockwell croons “In Dreams” to a captive audience. It’s the point at which an engaging setup, exciting cast, and talented crew, are finally drowned by Gosling’s difficulty in finding his own directorial voice. The film invites the question, can you claim to have been inspired by something, if you do nothing new with those inspirations?

The film has an engaging enough premise. A decaying former industrial metropolis sits as at the edge of a fetid reservoir, formed on top of the flooded bones of several smaller towns several decades ago. Christina Hendricks stars as Billy, a single mother trying to save her childhood home from demolition by taking a job in a gory strip show on the edge of town. Her eldest son, Bones, spends his days raiding copper wire from abandoned buildings, and attempting to outrun Matt Smith’s Bully, a crazed, flamboyant hoodlum with a penchant for cutting off people’s lips.

At the same time, Bones is falling for Rat, Saoirse Ronan, who spends her nights with her vampiric grandmother, who sits in silent repose, still mourning the death of her husband long ago. Everyone is caught up in memories of the past. Time stands still, conversations get stuck in loops, characters watch old films again and again. The town is caught in a stupor. “The only way to break the curse is to bring the monster to the surface” Rat tells Bones.

It’s an anti-capitalist Southern gothic fable. The film has magic in its grimy, delicate lights and lurid colours which emerge from the inky blackness of the town. Gosling, if nothing else, has a grasp on tone, and an eye for an arresting image. The pastel miasma of the rooms beneath the strip joint, for instance, tie Billy’s struggle to that of Bones, as both descend into the town’s underworlds to retrieve various forms of monsters from the depths. And the film does have things to say. The bloody strip show, where under a campy Eva Mendes, women play at mutilating their faces and bodies for the baying crowd, strikes a chord as the women offer their peeled-off skin to their male audience in return for their tips.

The film has things to say about what people really trade in unbalanced relations, primarily between classes, and between genders, but these ideas are mostly obscured by Gosling’s unsteady stewardship, and the finger prints of the litany of directorial inspirations he employs. It’s Lynch, it’s Refn, it’s Malick, it’s Korine, it’s Noé. Yet somehow, improbably, it still feels a little bit Gosling. There’s something personal being expressed here. He conjures a stillness, an inconsequence, which feels like something of his own. But just like the film’s titular town, it gets lost amongst the murk.

But the film also deals uncomfortably with gender, and particularly race. If Gosling’s camera at least avoids leering at his female characters, he does locate a paternal protectionism in the film’s perspective, with the film’s treatment of women’s agency, whilst never entirely appealing, erring a little on the side of the puritanical. Worse, any characters of colour are bit parts, stereotypically earthy cyphers full of jive talk, mysticism and little else. They’re brought in and out of the film randomly, just more set dressing to go with the dilapidated buildings and poverty-porn.

Make no mistake, Lost River is a mess, but if nothing else it’s a brazen piece of filmmaking. There’s surely no way Gosling could have conceived of a positive reception to a film so derivative, so obvious, so unabashedly ‘arty,’ and from a first time actor-turned-director no less! But he made it anyway. Unfortunately, by the muddled, stifled ending, he reveals himself as an entirely inessential filmmaker, a curator of imagery rather than a true storyteller. Like his characters, Gosling can’t stop pining for what once was. In his case, for the giants of independent cinema.

Recipe of the week: dough balls and garlic butter

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Dough balls are, year round, the perfect no-fuss fingerfood. They’re light but filling; suitable for children, adults, and in-betweens; and equally appropriate as pub grub or a dinner party apéritif.  I’ve added a recipe for garlic butter here for the dream combination (and an excellent sandwich spread the next day if you have any left over) but dough balls can go with chocolate spreads, creamy cheeses and fruity jams alike. This recipe makes 20 dough balls. 

Ingredients:

500g strong white bread flour
1 teaspoon unrefined golden caster sugar
7g easy bake yeast
1-2 teaspoons salt
15g unsalted butter, softened
200g salted butter, softened
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
300ml warm water
Parsley
Salt and pepper

Method:

1.  Start by preparing your dough.  Stir the sugar and yeast into the salt and flour in a large bowl, then rub in the unsalted butter with your hands, slowly adding water until you have a somewhat sticky, soft dough.  

2.  Lightly dust a clean surface with extra flour and knead the dough on it for about 10 minutes, until it is stretchy but smooth.

3.  Separate your dough evenly into around 20 pieces and roll the segments into balls.  Distribute these pieces on a baking tray, making sure they all have room to expand.  Grease some cling film with either butter or oil and place over your baking tray, then leave it in a warm place for half an hour.  Preheat your oven to 210°C.

4.  While you wait, make your garlic butter.  Whip your softened salted butter for a few minutes till it’s fluffy in a bowl, then mix in the garlic, and some parsley, salt and pepper to preference.  Cover with cling film and leave in the fridge till you’re ready to serve.

5.  At this point, the balls should be twice the size they were.  Leave them in the oven for 10 minutes, turn the temperature down to 185°C, leave for about another 10, keeping an eye on them.  When they’re golden brown and sound hollow when lightly tapped, they’re ready. Serve hot with your garlic butter, some chocolate spread, and any other dip you fancy.

Boat Race photo gallery

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The Oxford Women storm towards Chiswick bridge, Cambridge out of sight 

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Oxford Women: history makers and victorious 

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Paddling through Chiswick bridge to collect the trophy 

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The Women disembarking at Quintin Boat House

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Oxford and Cambridge Women come together

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On the podium with Sir Steve Redgrave 

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OUWBC President Anastasia Chitty holds the trophy aloft

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Newton Investment CEO, Helena Morrissey, explains how important the Women’s Boat Race is for female sport

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Sir Steve Redgrave jumps in for a selfie

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Osiris and the Women’s Blue Boat

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Isis, victorious by five lengths, emerge through Chiswick 

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The two reserve boats converge again at the finish

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Isis disembarking

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Spare pair Oarsman Rufus Stirling celebrating Oxford’s success

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Bowman Will Geffen celebrates a 19 second win 

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The Men’s Blue Boat emerges

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Henry Goodier greets 2012 Blue Boat cox Zoe de Toledo

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Charlie Thurston, Isis two man, in shock 

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OUBC President Constantine Louloudis joins one of only 14 oarsmen to win the boat race four times. Here he joins Sean Bowden, OUBC head coach, in paying tribute to the Oxford Crews. 

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Oxford’s tribute to Blue Boat legend Dan Topolski 

6 songs to keep the Oxford bubble alive over the vac

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During term time, it can be difficult to escape the ‘Oxford bubble’, but in the vac, its reassuring presence is ripped away. In the run up to Trinity, these songs will help you restore it just in time for going up.

1. ‘Itchycoo Park’ – The Small Faces

Enjoy the brief reference to our dreaming spires and bridge of sighs (where, if Oxford tour guides are to be believed, all finalists go to sigh with relief after their exams). Its ‘overt drug references’, for which the BBC banned it, might also help you recall nights in Cellar.

2. ‘Oxford Comma’ – Vampire Weekend

Your tutors might not be there to criticise your grammar and punctuation every few hundred words, but don’t fear, Vampire Weekend feel your pain.

3. ‘Crisis’ – Bob Marley

What would the Oxford bubble be without a few essay crises? Marley is here to soothe you through the distressing time without them. For a more authentic touch, play this at 3am with a very strong cup of coffee. 

4. ‘Oxford Town’ – Bob Dylan

 

Try ignoring the blatant fact that this song is not actually about the Oxford, and just listen to Dylan sing the word ‘Oxford’ over and over again as you rock back and forth.

5. ‘Politically Correct’ – SR-71

Oxford would be nothing without its political action, and if you’re struggling without that stimulus at home, try getting annoyed at this rather pointless attempt at a vaguely political song.

6. ‘Bodleian Library Sounds’ – Bodleian Library Oxford

If you’re really desperate to regain that longed for bubble, try sitting in a silent room with flickering artificial light, gather a huge pile of books on your desk and muster a gentle feeling of despair and play these relaxing library sounds, direct from our very own Bodleian. Depressing.

Review: Kid Rock – First Kiss

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★☆☆☆☆

One Star

Kid Rock, singing 8 songs into his new album, First Kiss, and with two more to go, promises me that he’ll play just one more song. I am both relieved and appalled. The LP opens with the lead single, the eponymous First Kiss; and while this is probably the best song of the album, it is so filled with insincerity and Country Rock cliché that it might well have been phoned in from the cigarette stained, booze soaked, girlfriend draped tailgate of his first rusted-out truck; a Chevy of course. The joke is that this exact scenario appears in just the second verse.

Kid Rock isn’t a bad singer, he isn’t a bad musician, and he certainly isn’t bad at writing songs that millions of people will go out and buy. The problem is that Kid Rock knows this and First Kiss is simply song after song of regurgitated Country on autopilot. He references, off the top of my head: Jesus, Jim Beam bourbon, moonshine, Hank Williams Jnr, Johnny Cash, Kentucky, Tennessee, gun rights, and those ‘monkeys in suits writing laws and rules’ up in Washington; or in fact down, as Kid Rock was born and lives in Detroit. Probably his worst offence is the tired and turgid moralistic bore of a song, Drinking Beer With Dad, where a good old fashioned drinking session, young man, is enough to sort out the atrocious lack of God in schools and gun toting youths of a, ‘world heading down the drain’.

The only tune that gets anywhere near escape trajectory from the formulaic rock by numbers template is the last, FOAD ‘Fuck Off And Die’. An action that he tells the object of the song to do repeatedly as he is accompanied by a beautiful choral echo constantly repeating the phrase ‘fuck off and die’ until the heaven-sent end of the song. This is heartland rock that needs a coronary bypass and fast.

Starting out as rapper and hip-hop artist in the early 90s, Kid Rock has built his later career by selling millions of records consisting of broad and simple Country Rock and I’m sure First Kiss will continue in that trend; its obvious unoriginality and cliché probably helping more than a bit along the way. So while perhaps it’s unfair to suggest that Kid Rock mess with his obviously winning formula, Country is a genre rooted in heartfelt storytelling and maybe he should bear this in mind before he produces another album as inane and insincere as this one.

Five things we learned from the Boat Race

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1. Rowers love selfies

Cherwell’s #darkblueselfie competition clearly unleashed the inner selfie yearnings of athlete, celebrity TV presenter, asset management boss and would-be-rowing fans alike. From Helena Morrissey, CEO of Newton, to discontented Devonian Oriel historians, the selfies poured in as punters sought to capture a bit of boat race magic on camera. Fittingly the last media event of the day involved Anastasia Chitty and Constantine Louloudis, the OUWBC and OUBC presidents, taking a selfie together. Everyone wanted a piece of the action.

2. This is no longer an amateur event   

Or at least partly. The presence of MBA candidate Caryn Davies in the stroke seat of the Women’s boat suggested that the day of home-spun athlete-scholar are fading. Davies is the most decorated athlete ever to compete in the race, with two gold and one silver Olympic medals to her name. She’s also been world champion four times. Even more impressively, some might argue, she stroked the Pembroke Men’s Summer VIII. Couple this with the presence of top athletes like Henry Goodier, Sam and James O’Connor, not to mention Constantine Louloudis and it’s hard to justify this as an amateur event any more.

3. Cambridge need to get their act together

Whatever they’re doing over at Ely, it’s clearly not working. The domination of the Oxford crews became slightly embarrassing after a while. One Cherwell correspondent was caught apologising to a Cambridge loyalist, “I can’t help it if we’re so much better.” At the point at which these contests cease to become races, but rather timed processionals over the same course, you have to question the point.

4. Swimmers aren’t so bad

In theory, yes, they are; they’re a complete nuisance, get in the way, jeopardise months of training, not to mention the safety of themselves and those around them. I am, of course, referring to the infamous Trenton Oldfield of 2012 fame. But in terms of sheer viewing experience it makes for the most tantalising, edge-of-your-seat kind of stuff. Sadly multiple (sometimes even double figure) length wins, in which one crew ploughs off into the sunset and even disappear out of shot, lack that excitement. The kind of side by side, intense battle racing we saw in the 2013 Isis Vs Goldie race is now all too rare.

5. Parkend for the win

Cherwell Sport attended both the pre and post boat race parties on Friday and Saturday, unremitting in our journalistic endeavours. Sadly neither Mahiki of Mayfair nor Fez of Putney could live up to the glory of the Parkend Cheese floor, the grinding sophistication of the R&B room, or the raw intensity of the Club anthems floor. Perhaps we’re overselling it, but we’d like to see Parkend pitch to host at least one of the parties next year, impractical as it might seem. I think we all know where we’d rather be. 

River bleeds Dark Blue

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It was a clean sweep for Oxford today as the Tideway bled dark blue. The Oxford women’s boat, men’s boat and Isis reserve crews all scooped thumping wins, showing up their Tab counterparts.

The women’s event, perhaps inevitably, dominated the day given this was the first time the female race was held on the Tideway. In the 70th year of the Women’s boat race, Oxford stormed home, coming in 19 seconds ahead, about five and a half lengths. On Friday, Osiris, the women’s reserve crew, beat their Blondie, their Cambridge counterpart, by an enormous 15 length margin. 

The men’s reserves race took a slightly lower profile year in the face of the women’s event. Isis emerged victorious over Goldie by a narrower margin of about three lengths to the cheers of the Oxford fans at the finish. Two seat Charlie Thurston described it as “the best day of my life.”

In the final race of the day, the men also brought home a strong win of 19 seconds. The race was close for the opening stages, unlike the women who had a strong lead from the start, but at half way Oxford mounted a strong push to break clear of the light blues who never regained their ground. Sean Bowden, the OUBC head coach, said after the race that the eight minute point in the race was the key moment, when Oxford turned the screw on Cambridge. OUBC President Constantine Louloudis spoke of his pride for all the Oxford athletes who had taken part.

Spirits were high at the finish as the four victorious crews celebrated together, Bolly spraying everywhere. The coxes Jennifer Ehr and William Hakim were tossed into the river as the world’s media watched. Claire Balding paid tribute to this “wonderful day for women’s sport”.  

Check out the @CherwellSport and @CherwellOnline twitter feeds to see how the day unfolded. We’ll shortly be uploading our exclusive, behind the scenes, photo gallery of the day. 

The Beginner’s Guide to The Boat Race(s)

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You may not have heard, but this weekend sees a few little rowing races between Oxford and some unknown little university. In order to aid with aggressive shouting/sounding irritatingly clever/impressing Great Aunt Sybil, Cherwell proudly presents The Beginner’s Guide to The Boat Race(s).

 1. History

Men

The first race between Oxford and Cambridge was at Henley in 1829, with Oxford winning easily. The Boat Race has been an annual fixture since 1856, save for the time during the two World Wars. Overall, Cambridge has won a total of 81 times, with Oxford trailing slightly on 78. There has been one dead heat, in 1877. 

Women 

It hasn’t been publicised at all, but this is the first year that the women’s Boat Race will be held on the same course as the men’s. The first event between Oxbridge female rowers was in 1927, when the two crews were on the river separately, and judged on style. It has been held annually since the mid 1960s, mostly at the Henley Boat Races. Overall, Cambridge has won 41 times, and Oxford 28.

 2. Course

Both races will be held over the 4 miles and 374 yards from Putney to Mortlake, on the Thames. It is S-shaped, with the fastest current at the deepest part of the river. 

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 3. Tactics

The presidents toss a coin to decide who takes each station. The North Station (Middlesex) holds the advantage on the first and last bends, with the South Station (Surrey), the advantage in the middle. The coxes both want the fastest line, leading to clashes and collisions.

4. Crews

Both men and women have blue boats, in which members gain a full blue. The reserve Oxford crews are called Isis and Osiris, for men and women respectively, and for Cambridge Goldie and Blondie.

5. Pub Quiz Facts

  • The race umpire who declared the 1877  a heat was over 70 and blind in one eye, and allegedly fell asleep.
  • “The Boat Race” is cockney rhyming slang for “face”.
  • In 1978, Cambridge completely sank.
  • The tallest rowers ever have been 6 ft 9.5 inches.

The Boat Races will be broadcast on the BBC from 16:15, on 11th April.

 Always #BleedDarkBlue.

In support of subfusc

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When I applied to Oxford, I knew I wasn’t signing up for the ‘average’ university experience. I had a vague idea of the traditional dress that we have to wear for things like matriculation and exams, but this was certainly not a key factor in my decision to apply. Looking at the admission statistics, it is true that more private school students apply to Oxford than those from state schools, but abolishing subfusc is not going to suddenly encourage everyone to send off their UCAS form with Oxford on it.

Instead, surely it is incredibly patronising to assume that non-public school students will feel intimidated by what we wear to our exams. To claim that making subfusc non-compulsory will aid access, encouraging more state school students to apply, is myopic and perhaps even insulting. I for one did not come from a private school and yet Oxford’s quirks and traditions certainly did not put me off. In fact, they were one of the aspects that most attracted me to the University.

A recent article in The Oxford Student does at least point out that there are other factors that are perhaps off-putting for potential candidates, such as the fact that we aren’t allowed on the grass… But if the referendum to stop compulsory subfusc secures sufficient votes to pass, where is this attack on our tradition going to end? Before you know it, we’ll have dead grass everywhere. In fact, we may as well get rid of the quads altogether because they’re not a key factor in promoting academic excellence.

Obviously I’m exaggerating, but it really is the same principle. We’re all incredibly fortunate to be studying at Oxford. Personally I think we should remember that and, as an extension, respect these traditions; traditions that have outlived so many people.

Here are six other things to think about before voting to get rid of it, or maybe five if you discount number two about how on trend we are going to be this summer. For proof of this see my subfusc (and Gossip Girl) inspired high-street picks below.

  1. Exams are important. Having a ‘uniform’ that we all have to wear for each University exam helps us to remember the importance of what we are doing. It also makes getting dressed in the morning before an exam, quick, easy and stress-free. Panicking about having nothing to wear is something we all experience and are more likely to when we’re already stressed. I mean have you read Matilda Kahl’s story that is currently circling the web? Rather than wear whatever she wanted to work, she has decided to wear a uniform to eliminate extra stress. Her uniform is chic, smart, and actually remarkably similar to our subfusc (minus the gown). Wearing the same thing in the exam also promotes a sence of community. Never mind the fact that by looking the same we eliminate distractions in the examination hall.
  2. Subfusc is cute. Granted, this is not really a reason to keep it, but as part of the fashion team I feel it is important to state. Again, look to Matilda Kahl. On top of this have you noticed how many sleeveless trenches and long-line blazers are on the high street right now? They basically look like gowns. (See below for our subfusc inspired high-street pieces). Meanwhile black and white will never go out of fashion.
  3. We like the flowers. Not only do they look and smell beautiful (as long as you don’t suffer from hay-fever), it really is one of the best feelings pinning on that red flower just before your last exam, knowing full well that it is going to get drenched in champers (and egg) in three hours time. [NB, unnecessarily killing plants is not a decent counter-argument].
  4. Hello quirkiness! Access reps are worried that subfusc is affecting equal opportunities, but is this not quite the opposite? It could be making those who are less well off more comfortable as it allows everyone to engage in Oxford’s quirky traditions.
  5. Yes we do have to buy these garments ourselves, but did we not all have to buy school uniform? Subfusc is also relatively cheap – around £20 – and there are bursaries available for those who cannot afford it.
  6. What is really wrong with dressing smartly? As second-year Brasenose medic Harry Knights pointed out, “I wouldn’t go to a job interview without wearing a suit, so what’s wrong with wearing this ‘Oxford suit’ to my exams? It’s not me trying to infer superiority and place myself above those not fortunate enough to be in the same position as I am, it’s me respecting Oxford and the opportunities it has given me.” Well said, Harry.

While none of the items actually conform to the regulations, they’re cute nonetheless:

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Premium Pearl and Stone Choker, £100, Topshop; topshop.com

MOTO Loose-Fit Shirt Dress, £42, Topshop; topshop.com

Shorts with front pockets, £19.99, Zara; zara.com

Frilled sleeveless blouse, £14.99, H&M; hm.com

Black Leather Tassel Loafers, £29.99, New Look; newlook.com

Dark Grey Jersey Sleeveless Jacket, £55, River Island; riverisland.com

General Election Survey 2015

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Have you registered to vote? Who will you be voting for? What’s the most important issue for you at the upcoming election?

In the run-up to this May’s General Election, Cherwell wants to know how students at Oxford are planning to vote. Click here to complete our short, anonymous survey.