Tuesday 7th April 2026
Blog Page 1380

Cleaning bins at Reading: An Education

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Anthropologically speaking, you can do little better than roam the campsite of a British music festival at five in the morning, for a fascinating insight into human weirdness. The gallery of rogues encountered across these mud-drowned, can-strewn plains at this time of the day doesn’t quite run the entire gamut, but I’d say it comes damn well close enough. All that separates me from these poor wandering souls is a fluorescent jacket, rubber gloves and the fact that, where my hangover is slowly (but surely) dawning, theirs is a few hours off from crashing down upon them. I am here to work; they, to play.

Although I have been able to catch some of the acts this year and the last here at Reading, where these sad, sleepless figures that I pass have shelled out hundreds of pounds or so to see and hear the Arctic Monkeys, The Kooks, Vampire Weekend and co. strum out a few tunes, I have had to earn my keep by working.

I’ve searched long and hard for a euphemism that would make my job more palatable on a CV – Custodian of Site Cleanliness? Superintendent for Waste Disposal? – with little success. I’m here to pick up shit. Not literal shit, fortunately (although you do get paid extra for that). I am in fact one of the festival’s small army of litter pickers, and have been for two years running.

Three days at a festival, even if spent picking up other people’s rubbish during thirteen hour shifts beginning at five in the morning, isn’t such a bad way to tide things over financially in the summer vacation. The money’s okay and, after all, I have learnt many a thing along the way. If it is true that you can learn a lot about a person from their trash, then the thousands of trash-cans changed at Reading offer an extremely informative educational experience.

Of Glaswegians, who seemed to constitute half the litter-picking force last year, I learnt of a staggering tolerance for alcohol.  It was, for example, on Reading’s opening day in 2013 that I respectfully declined a can of confiscated Strongbow from one such heavily-accented colleague. Though not normally one to refuse such a generous offering, it was only eleven in the morning. ‘Maybe later’, I reply. ‘Naw’t much’a drinker?’ he asks.  No, I guess not.

Of the Czech, who both then and now seem to constitute the other half of the litter-picking force (the Glaswegians having been replaced this year by a gaggle of earnest young Polish teens), I learnt that they really don’t like the Glaswegians very much. The Glaswegians, I came to realise, dislike the Czech even more.

English male teens, I’ve found out, have an abiding love for Ivorian footballers; and by the same token, I’ve learnt that there are only oh-so-many times you can take hearing the names Kolo and Yaya Toure being chanted by lads who just can’t handle their fifth can of Foster’s, before violence will break out.

I also found out how easily the campsite I walk across to clean at five in the morning lends itself to Attenborough-style narration, which was a pretty decent way of whiling away the hours. ‘Watch,’ I hear David intone, ‘as the pack slink back to their canvas dwellings. These are the night’s final stragglers. Having failed to attract a mate for the night, in their despair, they now search for deep-fried food before hibernation. This is the tragedy as old as time’.

Mankind has no greater source of soul-crushing existential crisis than the silent disco, as I have observed. And picking up bags upon bags of trash at five in the morning, two hours after returning from a silent disco and with little to no sleep, is perhaps even more taxing than writing an essay hungover, especially under the late-August sun.

Showing off your special staff wristband, I discovered, is a good way to impress girls. Although, this fails when you must admit that okay, no, you’re not actually part of Alex Turner’s entourage, and well, no, you don’t have his number, even though you did clean his area backstage earlier that day. ‘I do have access to special staff showers, though?’, I have learnt, is in fact a surprisingly enticing brag.

I soon learnt that a fluorescent jacket, a walkie-talkie and a confident swagger offer a passport to anywhere you could possibly want to go. But two hours of sleep leaves you ill-prepared for thirteen hour shifts of hard manual labour, as I learnt the hard way. And if you really wanted to, you could fit twenty-seven people in a vehicle with a supposed maximum capacity of eighteen.

Strongbow Dark Fruits, I found out, makes bins smell really fucking bad. And if I didn’t know it already, bin juice is one of the foulest liquids known to the human species. Despite this, many people are perfectly willing to drink it. But doing so is a likely one-way ticket to Hepatitis C (it could totally get you wasted, though).

But the most important lesson that I’ve taken away, is that I never want to clean a fucking bin again in my life.

The Ice Bucket Challenge: Boon or bane for ALS sufferers?

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“I knew this shit was coming, but tonight? Really?” So begins Eminem’s live-on-stage Ice Bucket Challenge during a concert in Detroit. After some more joking and screaming from 45,000 fans, hype man Mr. Porter adds, almost as an afterthought, “Listen, before we do it, you can go to alsa.org to find out more about what we’re doing.” This prompts only a muted reaction from a crowd clearly waiting to see Eminem covered in ice on stage. Rihanna then comes on stage with the ice, eliciting a much noisier response from the screaming fans.

Meanwhile, South Carolina’s Governor, Nikki Haley, starts her video with, “Stephen, along with some other amazing people, comes to visit me at the State House every year to talk about this terrible disease, but today is a great day in South Carolina for an ice bucket challenge”. That’s right Nikki, you have really got the importance of the challenge encapsulated there. It is a great day for throwing ice on your head, and having your kids do it to remind us of how important your family is to you, as a politician, in the months before your next election.

What do these two videos have in common here besides a desire to appeal to their fans? Nikki Haley manages to use 10 seconds of her 90-second video to remind viewers of the purpose the challenge, which at first glance does not sound particularly long. But, when compared to the 6 seconds Eminem devotes in his 80-second video, the 6 seconds George Bush includes in his video, and the complete lack of reference to ALS at all in videos by Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga, it seems like Haley has done quite a good job. Perhaps the worst example of this neglect of ALS itself in the ice bucket challenge comes unsurprisingly from the Daily Mail, which described Poppy Delevigne’s ice bucket challenge as follows: “Poppy Delevingne shows off washboard abs in green bandeau bikini as she performs ALS ice bucket challenge.” It also used the same article as an opportunity to promote the sales of the same bikini to women across Britain in its super-useful ‘Now get one like it for less’ section.

The Ice Bucket Challenge has its beneficial effects, of course. The ALS Association in the USA has, over the course of the past month, raised more than double what it raised in all of the previous year. Awareness of the illness has no doubt increased, but I suspect that many people who have been exposed to it on Facebook and Youtube could still not say what ALS actually stands for (Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), let alone begin to comprehend its symptoms and devastating effects on those who suffer from it and their family and friends.

The Ice Bucket Challenge is not the kind of thing I would typically take umbrage with, certainly not to the extent of writing against it. Like most people, I would see it as just the latest social media craze, albeit for a better cause than usual. However, for me, neurodegenerative disease is not an abstract concept on the internet, but a living reality, having watched the body, and then mind, of my grandmother be ravaged by a similar disease, Multiple Sclerosis (MS), for the first 17 years of my life. It makes me sad and angry to see ALS trivialised in this way. Neurodegenerative diseases are not pleasant in any way; they are the opposite, leaving many of those they affect in a living hell where they gradually lose all motor skills and much cognitive function – unable to walk, and confined to a bed in a hospice or care home, they lose the ability to speak, hear, use their limbs, swallow, and even breathe. The median survival time from ALS diagnosis is 39 months. The daily experience and life of those who have these diseases, and the people around them, is a far cry from videos of people smiling with ice on their heads and a wet t-shirt. It is a cruel yet inescapable fact that the challenge involves completing an action which is physically impossible for many with the disease: raising a bucket over your head and tipping it over yourself.

I am not accusing anyone who has participated in the challenge of bad intentions, and I am sure that they too care about raising awareness and money to fight against it. But this is the precise problem: while the people who participate have mainly done so for good reasons (and with good effects), the overall phenomenon is incredibly trivialising. Because we have now reached an era previously thought impossible – an era where a deadly, horrific disease that leaves very little hope of survival for those it afflicts is portrayed in social media merely as something that can be used for likes, shares and comments, screams from fans at a rap concert, and votes in South Carolinian gubernatorial elections. It is telling the world that ALS is something to be considered briefly with a modicum of solemnity after an oh-so-funny-and-original twist on the theme of throwing ice over your head, and then forgotten as just another post on your wall on Facebook. It also bears a striking similarity with the neknominate in both its form (do something, video it, and then nominate 3 friends to do it within 24 hours) and medium (predominantly social media).

Don’t even get me started on the turf war that has erupted in the UK over which charity will be the beneficiary of British donations, pitting Macmillan Cancer Care against the Motor Neurone Disease Association. William Foxton in The Telegraph summarises it brilliantly: “When I put my money into one of their tins, I expect it to be spent on cancer research, not pushing another charity down the search engine rankings.” There are also concerns in the charities community about the Challenge crowding out other charitable donations that would otherwise have gone to equally-deserving and needy organisations.

Let’s be honest, the focus of the ice-bucket challenge has never really been on ALS. The challenge itself wasn’t even about ALS originally, it was just another viral phenomenon in the vein of neknominate. Indeed, for many people, as we have seen, it is rather a method of self-promotion for B-list celebrities and former Presidents trying to stay relevant.

Legislating private relationships

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Some time ago, I was planning to have lunch with an ex-girlfriend. My then-girlfriend found out about this, got upset and tried to stop me going. I told her that she was being childish and to stop being stupid. We had a minor row. Then we got over it, forgot about it and moved on like adults. I’m sure anyone who has ever been in an intimate relationship can recognize an incident like the above.

Under Theresa May’s recent proposals to extend domestic violence to emotional abuse that is ‘cruel and controlling’ or ‘humiliating’, minor rows like that could become a criminal offense. Specifically, May mentioned attempting to prevent people from maintaining relationships with friends and family. In the situation I mention above, my language could easily have been construed as humiliating and cruel. Under no circumstances would either of us have considered this to have been an example of genuine abuse, and the idea that we, or couples like us should be criminally culpable for behaviour that is at worst immature is ridiculous, yet it could be construed as abuse punishable by law under these proposals.

It is easy to charge that I am being facetious. This law is not intended to criminalize petty rows, rather ongoing, serious cases of abuse that cause long term damage to people’s lives. But the test of good law is not just whether it would help solve a social ill, but whether it would be able to be easily definable, easily enforceable and be difficult to abuse. In all three categories, proposals to criminalize emotional abuse fail this definition.

There will be no way to craft a law against emotional abuse without it being broad enough to catch almost every intimate relationship, because human interactions are so complex and so dependent on context that what is genuinely abusive and hurtful in one context is a minor act of pettiness in another. If emotional cruelty or humiliation is made illegal, insulting someone’s appearance, such as telling them they look overweight or bad in particular clothing, cheating on a partner, shouting at someone or could be construed as criminal acts. These are of course, cruel acts that we should discourage as part of a healthy relationship. But relationships are where people demonstrate their best and their worst attributes, and every relationship in the world will include, however small, actions from both partners that are simply immoral or unkind actions. But this does not make these relationships by definition abusive; not does it mean that the state should have the sanction to decide which relationships are abusive and which are not.

Before allowing the state to interfere in our intimate relationships, we should look at the history of the state determining what is moral or not in our private lives. In it we see some of the most shameful and oppressive legislation in our history such the criminalization of homosexuality, or extraordinarily harsh penalties for women who commit adultery.

This leads to another major problem with the proposals, which is their terrifying potential for abuse. The exact kind of person who is emotionally abusive in relationships is going to be the exact kind of person who will abuse these laws for their own ends. Most emotionally abusive partners themselves either think or pretend they are the victims of emotional abuse. Think of what an abusive partner could do, if they had the ability to use the threat of prosecution against their partner for their own ‘suffering.’ One common tactic that abusers will use is to convince the person they are abusing that THEY are the one who is crazy, who is at fault, who is screwing the kids up, who makes the relationship a living hell. Now imagine if they had the ability, as many charming psychopaths do, to construct a case for themselves being abused that was on the face of it compelling, even though it was based on nothing but air? This law would become a tool in the abusers arsenal of psychological control and torment.

Similarly, it gives anyone who is upset at the breakdown of a relationship a way to get revenge on a partner by making a complaint of emotional abuse. These complaints may not even be malicious, as the distress caused by the breakdown of a relationship could make people believe that someone genuinely has been abusive. That does not mean they will not be incredibly damaging all the same. And while the law is intended primarily to protect women, all genders will be able to exploit this to their own ends.

Because ultimately, the biggest problem with this law is that it will be virtually impossible to prove. Police will (and should be) obliged to investigate any allegation of domestic abuse, and by its very nature, in the vast majority of cases it will come down to a single persons word against another’s, unless we go down the extremely morally dubious route of requiring children to testify against their own parents. This means that either there will be a vanishingly small number of convictions, which lowers public respect for the Justice system, or the burden of proof will have to be lowered making a worrying potential for miscarriages of justice and abuse of judicial process.

If you support these proposals, you must be prepared to look people in the eye and say, “I support the state being able to come into my personal intimate relationships and decide what is right and what is wrong.” This is a time when resources that those who are abused genuinely need – such as funding for women’s refuge, mental health support and legal aid – are being viciously cut. As such, this law is a way for the government to appear that it has victims best interests on side while continuing to deprive them of things that genuinely could help them improve their lives.

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Review: Reading Festival 2014

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Last weekend, I decided to brave the muddy fields of Reading once more. Returning for the first time since the mandatory post-GCSE pilgrimage of 2010, I arrived – wary of tent-burning, £9 burritos and 16-year-olds on MDMA, but willing to fight to see the amazing line-up of bands that had been the deciding factor in persuading me to buy a ticket, some of which I’d been waiting years to catch live. This is what I found.

 

Arctic Monkeys â˜…★☆☆☆

Does Alex Turner even care any more? Yes, he’s a massive fuck-off rock star and yes, he can pull the arrogance off through sheer talent, but now the Arctic Monkeys seem as though their heads are so far up their own arses they can’t see Sheffield any more. The delightfully wry boy who wrote Whatever People Say… was unrecognisable in the snake-hipped, slurring icon who took to the stage on Saturday. Sure, being full of yourself is part of rock’n’roll, but not when it detracts from the power of your set and ability to actually interest your fans. None of this was helped by the fact that the volume was far, far too low, leading the crowd to start chanting “Turn it up, turn it up”. A limp, cold performance.

 

The Hives â˜…★★★★

Perhaps Mr. Turner should learn something about swagger from The Hives’ now-veteran frontman, Howlin’ Pelle Almqvist – Pelle can pull it off with surprisingly camp garage-rock pizzazz. The beautiful thing about every Hives show is that it isn’t just Pelle who goes crazy. All five members are clearly heavily invested in their performance (special mentions to goggle-eyed lead guitarist Nicholaus Arson and drummer Chris Dangerous). Consistently named one of the best live bands around, it was plain to see why at Reading. Opening a set with a song whose lyrics consist of three words (“Come on, come on, come on, come on, everybody come on!”) is surely the sign of genius or insanity. I’d go with a bit of both. Randy Fitzsimmons will have been proud.

 

Enter Shikari ★★★☆☆

In recent years, Enter Shikari have become very fond of espousing the equivalent political views of someone in year 9. It would be nice if they would stop. Yes, we appreciate that ‘the slimy one percent’ owns 99% of the wealth, and yes, we love the NHS, but is it really the place of a post-hardcore band to tell us what to think about governmental cuts while we boil in the sun, crushed between thousands of sweaty bodies, waiting for them to play some actual music? Couple that with the over-crowded front of the main stage as hundreds of aggressive teen boys turn up for a fight (Enter Shikari’s reputation for creating havoc now precedes them) and this band was decidedly annoying. They didn’t even play Mothership. No space to dance, no space to mosh, hardly space to breathe. In their defence, the blame for that can’t be laid at the band’s door. Three stars.

 

Die Antwoord â˜…★★★☆

Matching convict-orange hoodies. Ejaculating ghosts. The most glorious flattop to grace music since the early 90s. A duo that never misses a chance to mess with your head, Ninja and Yo-Landi’s combination of sinewy energy and bubblegum kink was a winning one once again. I Fink U Freeky and Enter the Ninja were particular highlights, if just to see a bunch of swaggering over-masculine teen boys (which seems to be recurring theme at Reading) reduced to singing “I am your butterfly/I need your protection/Be my samurai”. New single Pitbull Terrier would have been a welcome addition to the set list, but even without it, Die Antwoord kept the energy level at maximum for a blistering 40 minutes of zef madness.

 

Hudson Taylor ★★★☆☆

Probably the surprise package of the festival. Playing on a smaller stage early on the first day, the boys from Dublin could have been forgiven for surrendering to difficult circumstance. Instead they kicked things off with a rousing sing-along, oscillating between barn dance and lighter-in-the-air intimacy. Only Don Broco had more dedicated fans out of every band we saw this year.

 

Warpaint â˜…★★★☆

As a band who can creep up behind you and lull you into a deep sleep, Warpaint’s gently hypnotic set was a joy to watch. Not bothering to waste time talking between songs, the band’s sonorous wail filled the NME tent and built up, song by song, until everyone under the canvas appeared to be in a trance, swaying and gyrating, dreaming. Warpaint are proof that a band doesn’t need mosh pits and crowd banter to be a success at Reading, just professionalism and a clear-cut belief in the effectiveness of their music.

 

Gerard Way ★★☆☆☆

It feels almost cruel to criticise Gerard Way’s solo global debut, but the fact remains that without the rest of My Chemical Romance behind him, the man’s music is far too nice, and forgettable as a result. He doesn’t quite have the voice for anything gentler than the spitting, self-conscious pop punk that made his band the poster boys they are, and despite the legions of die-hard female fans who turned up and duly screamed every time he did, it was difficult not to keep wondering whether his set would have been more fun with a few guitar solos and lyrics about vampires and suicide.

 

Other highlights of the festival included Pusha T and, in fact, the general intimacy of the tiny Radio 1Extra tent, Gogol Bordello’s headline-rivalling gypsy punk party, which stole a significant proportion of blink-182’s crowd, and Royal Blood, who seem to be fast carving themselves a niche among the best blues rock duos of the last ten years alongside the likes of The White Stripes and The Black Keys. Jeremy McKinnon of A Day To Remember took to a zorb and used it like a giant hamster ball midway through their set for the single most surreal moment of the weekend.

Reading’s atmosphere in general was mixed. The vast majority of festival-goers are 16-18 years old, and as a result the crowds are lively and responsive to the acts, but the flip side of this is that the campsites can be the scene of a lot of posturing and peacocking. Many seem to think there is still something to “prove” about going to Reading, and sometimes it seems to get in the way of the fun and friendliness that might be found at other festivals. Nonetheless, with a brilliant line-up and notable lack of torrential rain until the Monday morning, Reading 2014 was one to remember.

Review: The Rover

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★★★★☆
Four Stars

What’s the point? That’s the question at the core of David Michod’s The Rover, a brooding thriller set in the Australian outback ten years after the unexplained collapse of human civilisation. The film stars Guy Pearce as a mysterious man determined to retrieve his stolen car, who enlists the help of the car thief’s brother, played by Robert Pattinson in a transformative performance. As the pair attempt to track down both the car and its new owner, a tense and beautifully acted character driven story emerges which allows the film to explore the devastating consequences of the delusions we create to maintain the human spirit.

The derivative plot and setting recall any number of post apocalyptic films from Mad Max to The Book of Eli, but the film is quickly distinguished from its genre contemporaries by Michod’s investment in his character’s remaining shreds of humanity, even if the admittedly strong production design provides little that audiences haven’t seen before. The dystopian outback sets the tone for the film, where every dust road and wooden shack are as run down and worn out as their inhabitants. Lights give off a sickly glow, windows and doors slide laboriously along their frames, and people lounge in their chairs for days on end.

Every character we encounter is waiting for something – for a customer, for a loved one, for death. Though set in Australia, the film is unashamedly a Western, its lone gunslinger hero a cipher for the story’s concerns with independence and liberty. However, the film plays with genre convention and subverts expectations. An early scene set in a matriarch’s drug den recalls any number of frontier town brothels, but Michod drags the trope into much darker, more disturbing territory. This frontier isn’t on the cusp of anything, it’s at the end of it.

Pearce is melancholy but ferocious in his performance as our mysterious protagonist, bringing an exhausted menace to the film. His unclear motivations and single mindedness make for an intriguing first act, but it is only after the arrival of Pattinson that the audience is able to emotionally connect with the film. If it is Pearce’s Eric and his stolen car that provide the film’s plot, it’s Pattinson’s Reynolds that provides its heart. Whilst Eric tests the audience’s patience with an unsympathetic protagonist, Reynolds becomes the audience’s surrogate, terrified, unsure of himself and adrift in this bleak inhumane world. Whilst Reynold’s arc is the most accessible in the film, it is also the most heartbreaking, as his misguided attempts at independence lead him round in circles.

Pattinson is remarkable in the role, with no trace of Twilight‘s pensive Edward Cullen in the darting eyes, jittering limbs and quivering jaw of his emaciated Reynolds, who flinches from an imagined attack anytime someone speaks. The film is at its most engaging when both actors share the screen, with Pattinson’s magnificently watchable freneticism perfectly complementing Pearce’s recessive presence. This tension between performers reinforces the instability of their character’s power dynamic, which sustains the film’s momentum to its conclusion.

Despite the film’s broad vistas and endless roads, it still manages to maintain an oppressively suspenseful tone through its ability to make us care about its small cast of unpredictable and violent characters. The shallow colour palette employed by cinematographer Natasha Braier captures the tired frustration of our characters, whilst her creeping cameras create a sense of unease that keeps the audience alert.  In one memorable sequence a camera gradually zooms in on the face of a terrified Pattinson, hiding from bullets behind a motel bed, inviting us to empathise with these characters in their most vulnerable moments. In this way Michod foregrounds the human emotions which could have easily become lost in the dusty wasteland.

Antony Partos’ terrific original score, atonal and abrasive, creates a sense of anticipation, building and building all the way through to the end of the credits. The film features a few moments of levity including perhaps the most left field musical cue in recent memory – you’ll know it when you hear it – which feel incongruous to the film’s otherwise cohesive tone due to their clumsy execution. The film’s self regard can stretch the audience’s patience at times, with moments of unintentional ridiculousness leading to stifled laughter in the screening I attended.

The Rover is magnificently acted, gorgeously shot and wonderfully scored, and tells a complex human story through a tense but straightforward plot. However, it is a film as bleak as the world it depicts, arriving at depressing conclusions about liberty and delusion, and uninterested in offering any real catharsis. The audience in my screening stayed in their seats for almost the entirety of the credit roll. The cinema felt like it was waiting for the ending, for its reassuring resolution. The Rover leaves you, like its characters with a sense of feeling incomplete – the story has concluded, but now we’re left without purpose. This lack of comfort is both its greatest weakness and its masterstroke. Indeed, what is the point?

 

Theatre etiquette: The response

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This article is a response to that of Will Obeney, which can be found here.

Last month, we saw Will Obeney make the argument that intrusions of modern technology are – amongst other annoyances – signs of a lamentably declining standard in the behaviour of some audience members. He believes more theatre-goers should be aware of their “responsibilities to fellow audience members or those on the stage and behind it”. But do these modern problems faced by the world of theatre betray a saddening decline in the behaviour of audience members, or should the stage adapt to accommodate the changing audience dynamic?

This has been a hot topic of late, with frequent theatre-goer Richard Gresham’s ‘Theatre Charter’ (in which he, like Obeney calls for more respect for conventional audience etiquette) gaining a number of supporters, and perhaps most notably Stephen Fry, whose endorsement propelled the campaign to the limelight. However, others have condemned the Charter and the motivations behind it. The Albany, Deptford, published an article about why they wouldn’t be signing the Theatre Charter, because whilst they “hope that those that attend [their performances] will behave in a fashion that respects our artists and our fellow audience members” they feel that “to formalise this expectation in this way” would damage the relationship the theatre has with its audiences, audiences who might not typically experience the arts, and might already be worried about what to wear or how to behave.

In some ways, I can sympathise with the views expressed by Gresham and his Theatre Charter. I doubt that anyone would really want their phone to ring in the middle of a play, and similarly would react negatively to a disturbance caused by others. However, some other examples of supposed audience misbehaviour show the distinctions between proper and improper etiquette to be less clear-cut. Recent commentators have also attacked audience members for expressing their admiration of Martin Freeman – starring in Richard III at Trafalgar Studios – by cheering or screaming whenever he walked onstage. Plenty of people have seen this as a breach of etiquette, or as an unfortunate consequence of the need for the casting of famous faces. However, in this supposed misdemeanour, I see something far more positive and exciting – new theatre-goers, theatre-goers who are really enjoying themselves. These fans of Freeman have been derided for being there only because of Sherlock or The Hobbit, or only because they fancy the play’s star, or, for what some seem to see as the worst crime of all, being teenage girls.

Of course, the categories ‘fan of Sherlock’ and ‘Shakespeare enthusiast’ are hardly mutually exclusive, even amongst teenagers, but even if we do owe these audience members to a TV show, why is that such a problem? They’re going to a theatre intending to fully enjoy a play, and I would argue this makes them more likely to appreciate the play on its own terms than some seasoned theatre-goers. Also, there’s a high chance that for at least some of these audience members, this is their first or one of their first productions. Rather than tutting at them, or telling them off, it’s important that they, as the new generation of theatre-goers, are made to feel welcome, rather than excluded from an elitist view of the theatre which adheres to codes of which they might be unsure or unaware.

If I had to choose, I’d rather be in an audience full of enthusiastic if somewhat vocal new, young theatre-goers than, as is more often the case, an immaculately behaved crowd of old-timers divorced from any emotional response to the piece. Sometimes, when you’re at a play, a phone will go off. Sometimes someone will cough loudly at a dramatic moment. Sometimes an audience member will react strongly and emotionally to something they see onstage. But theatre is a live art form, and a downside of this impermanence and immediacy is that sometimes someone else might for a moment bring you out of the experience of the play, whether it’s someone rustling sweet rappers, an actor stumbling over their lines, or a friend poking you in the side for the first ten minutes to ask if that’s ‘her from that thing’ playing the lead.

The upside to live theatre is the wonderful fact that, in spite of everything that could go wrong, the actors, the set, the costumes, music, lighting – everything – comes together to create a unique and emotionally involving experience. Occasional disturbances may happen, but if you can’t ignore them outright, shrug them off as part of the experience. You are not the only member of the audience, nor are you the most important, and there is more than one valid way to enjoy the theatre.

Oxford’s culture vultures

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Balliol – Graham Greene

Graham Greene is one of the most important English novelists of the 20th century, penning such classics as Brighton Rock, The Power and the Glory and The End of the Affair. Greene’s fellow author and contemporary at Oxford, Evelyn Waugh, said of him: ‘he looked down on us, and perhaps all undergraduates, as childish and ostentatious. He certainly shared in none of our revelry.’ Ok, so maybe he wasn’t a barrel of laughs, but his contributions to cultural life are undeniable.

LMH – Nigella Lawson

Despite changing schools nine times in as many years, Nigella Lawson secured a place at Oxford to study French and Italian. She spent her year abroad in Florence, where the Italian cucina inspired her to unleash her inner domestic goddess. Despite the revelations about her extremely lavish lifestyle and penchant for class-A drugs, she still charms the public with her florid writing style, personable TV manner and sex symbol looks.

Christ Church – Richard Curtis

Christ Church may have produced 13 prime ministers, but perhaps its biggest boast is the king of rom-coms, Richard Curtis. While at university, he was an active participant in the Oxford drama scene, scriptwriting for the Experimental Theatre Club and collaborating in the Oxford Revue, with his pal, Rowan Atkinson. Since then he has shown that he has a keen sense for the comic (Blackadder, Mr. Bean and The Vicar of Dibley) as well as for the sentimental (Four Weddings and a Funeral, Bridget Jones’s Diary, Notting Hill, and Love Actually).

Exeter – Alan Bennett

Another member of the Oxford Revue, Alan Bennett came to Oxford on a scholarship and stayed on for a few years after graduating to teach Medieval History. But alas, he soon realised he wasn’t cut out for academia. Nor for the clergy, which he had always assumed he would join, for the sole reason that he looked a bit like a clergyman. He is best known for his play, The History Boys, about a group of boys applying to Oxbridge, a tale no doubt inspired by his own experience.

Lincoln – Dr Seuss

The Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham may not seem like particularly highbrow literature, but their creator, Theodor Geisel (alias: Dr Seuss) spent two years at Oxford, studying for a PhD in English Literature. His children’s books bring up important social and political issues veiled in Aesopian language: The Lorax advocates environmentalism and anti-consumerism, The Sneetches encourages racial equality and Yertle the Turtle criticizes Hitler and authoritarianism.  Something to think that next time you’re reading about The Hoober-Bloob Highway and Daisy-Head Mayzie! 

New – Kate Beckinsale

Kate Beckinsale had a more intense undergraduate experience, than most, balancing her study of French and Russian literature with a demanding acting career. During one summer vac she went to Tuscany to film Kenneth Branagh’s big screen adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing and while studying in Paris on her year abroad she filmed the French language Marie-Louise Ou La Permission. Drifting from smaller productions to Hollywood blockbusters, Kate Beckinsale appeared in Pearl Harbour, which, despite being poorly acted and historically inaccurate, gave her an opportunity to snog both Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett.

Brasenose – William Golding

William Golding spent two years studying Natural Sciences at Brasenose, before realising that he didn’t actually like science and swapping to English Literature. His book of Poems was published the year he graduated, but it was 20 years before he wrote his first novel and magnum opus: Lord of the Flies, which was adapted for stage and put on by a group of Oxford students last Trinity. His literary works won him a Nobel Prize, a Booker Prize and a knighthood.

Magdalen – Andrew Lloyd Weber

Another Oxford alumnus whose cultural endeavours were recognised by Queen Liz herself, Andrew Lloyd Weber dropped out of his History degree at Oxford after just a term. His awards and honours are as innumerable as his contributions to musical theatre. Now this impresario is a regular on daytime TV, appearing as a judge on reality TV shows, in which people audition for the main role in his West End shows, like The Wizard of Oz and Jesus Chris Superstar.

Somerville – Dorothy L. Sayers

Dorothy L. Sayers was one of the first women ever to receive an Oxford degree, a few years after she graduated from Somerville with a first in Modern and Medieval literature. She went on to write a series of detective novels set in the interwar years featuring the English toff and amateur sleuth, Lord Peter Wimsey, whom she described as a mixture of Fred Astaire and Bertie Wooster. Though she is best known for her crime fiction, she herself considered her best work to be her translation of Dante’s Divine Comedy.  

Teddy Hall – Terry Jones

Culture may not be the first thing one associates with Teddy Hall, but cracking banter probably is. So, it makes sense that the college’s most famous culturally-inclined alumnus is a member of Monty Python. During his time at the Hall he performed comedy with future Monty Python castmate Michael Palin in the Oxford Revue. He is best known for his conceptual jokes and depictions of middle-aged women. Terry Jones also takes humour from absurd situations, for example, the famous sketch in which he plays a cheesy game show host who asks contestants to summarise Marcel Proust’s 3000-page work À la recherche du temps perdu in 15 seconds.

Keble – Katy Brand

Katy Brand decided to study Theology at Oxford after embracing the faith on a holiday in Cornwall with some Evangelical Christian friends. However, she quickly lost her religious beliefs and later said: ‘After about a year, I realised it was mostly rubbish and that things are never as simple as they seem when you are 13’. However, during her time at Oxford she met friends who helped her launch her career in television. Now she is one of England’s most beloved comediennes.

St Peter’s – Hugh Dancy

One of the biggest pieces of eye candy ever to have walked the cobbled streets of Oxford, Hugh Dancy is a successful actor on the stage, the small screen and the big screen. He studied English at Oxford under the tuition of poet and playwright, Francis Warner, before being scouted in a café in London. To the disappointment of womankind, he recently tied the knot with slightly-more-famous-than-him actress, Claire Danes.

Worcester – Rupert Murdoch

Rupert Murdoch owes both his birth and his downfall to newspaper publishing. His parents met after his father spotted a debutante photograph of his mother in one of his own newspapers. Now the News of the World tycoon faces police and government investigations into bribery and corruption by MI5 and the FBI. In between these two events, Rupey read PPE at Worcester and managed Oxford Student Publications Limited, which is in charge of that paragon of student publications, Cherwell.

 

 

 

Christian Louboutin Beauté Launches

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What do you think of when you hear the name Christian Louboutin? Shoes, yes, but more specifically shoes with a striking red sole. Ever wondered where the red sole came from? Surprisingly, this distinguishing feature of Louboutins was completely unplanned; unsatisfied with one of his prototypes and noticing his assistant painting her nails, he quite simply grabbed the bottle and painted the sole of the shoe. Whoever knew a simple bottle of red nail polish could be behind one of the most successful shoe brands of today?

I’m pretty sure most girls dream of owning a pair of the red soled beauties, but if the price tag sends you into a cold sweat, don’t worry – you can now own your very own ‘Rouge Louboutin’ in the form of the brand’s first ever nail polish. This debut polish is, of course, the ultimate red.

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From 14th August to 4th September there is a pop up Christian Louboutin beauty space in Selfridges, during which the brand will exclusively launch its 30 additional nail colour range. Yes, 30! The Noirs, The Nudes and The Pops each contain 10 colours so there really is something for everyone.

Just like his shoes, these polishes are mini works of art – the glass bottle was inspired by classical balustrades found in European buildings from the 17th and 18th Century. Imagine it sitting on your dressing table.

So, go on, pop into the pop up at Selfridges between now and the 4th of September. It’s one you won’t want to miss!

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Selfridges Pop Up 14th August – 4th September
30 additional colours will launch exclusively at Selfridges on 25th August
The Noirs, Nudes and Pops will launch in Christian Louboutin Boutiques on 26th August
RRP: £36 each  

Review: Dry The River – Alarms In The Heart

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★★★★☆
Four Stars

The journey of Dry The River’s second album from the studio to your ears has been a rocky one. In early 2013, it seemed as if the essence of the band might have frozen in the wilderness of Iceland where they spent some months.

However, in June 2014, they returned with ‘Gethsemane’, a mournful, beautiful, and powerfully poetic plea, filled with biblical and literary references which reflect the fierce intelligence that Dry The River have always proudly exhibited. The song has been a live staple for more than a year, along with ‘Roman Candle’, but an album just refused to form around them.

The band suffered through this creative drought, even doubting that the record would ever be released at all. Will, the violinist, jumped ship.

But eventually, Alarms In The Heart has emerged, showcasing for a second time all of Liddle’s lyrical skill and reeling off the quasi-religious, half-folk-half-heavy-rock ballads.

‘Gethsemane’ is a track of undeniable brilliance, with every line a gem of poetic genius. What other band today is producing lyrics like ‘excavating down you’d find the drowning and the drowned / And then there’s us babe’. This is a song that could be read as poetry, but the musicality should not be ignored. Dry The River execute their traditional movement from quietly crooned lyrics over softly-plucked guitar to crashing guitar chords and (if you’ve seen them live) a veritable whirlwind of sweaty hair.

The other lead single, ‘Everlasting Light’, is the song that Dry The River say represents their path out of the wilderness. Indeed it is a departure from something, but if it’s the way out of the wilderness, the band might have been better off staying there. While it’s a perfectly decent tune, with a solid chorus and a nice tune, Shallow Bed it is not.

The whole album nudges Dry The River slightly closer to a more conventional indie rock sound, where some might have hoped that they would take the opportunity to explore some of their more interesting aspects – the harmonizing beauty of a song like ‘Shaker Hymns’ had so much space in which to expand, and yet Alarms In The Heart seems like more of a constriction.

That said, it is still a solid album with some very good songs, and Liddle’s songwriting remains excellent. Plus they’re local boys. I’m still a fan.

Listen to the album over at Sound Check.

Protest? What protest?

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Thousands of people take to the streets every summer. No, this isn’t just the summer rioting phenomenon; I’m talking about popular protest. However, if you live outside of London, you might not realise the scale that popular protest movements are operating on. Namely, because of the lack of media attention that they receive.

We might naively assume that today, our widely connected world does not still rely upon the mainstream media; that what it chooses to report does not restrict our consumption of information, but it might be wise to rethink this assumption. Content by the people for the people is still not yet as powerful as ‘official’ content from news stations. The mainstream media still holds significant power over the information that we consume, even today, when we can freely access so much on the internet. The media controls which section of the unprecedentedly vast amounts of information we are exposed to catches our eye.

Will informal news through social media ever become strong enough to combat this sense of validation?

What social media does provide though, is a glimpse into topics which the mainstream media neglect to report upon in great detail. We can see the selective information supplied by the mainstream press well through its reporting, or lack of reporting, about popular protest.

We can see a dearth of information about the recent protests to draw attention to the atrocities being committed by the Israeli army. Whilst there has been minimal reporting of the protests by the BBC, reports have been vague, and figures that display the size and scale of protests have been vastly underplayed. This information is freely available online for those wishing to research, but has not been presented.  Over a hundred thousand attended the Demonstration for Gaza in late July, with ongoing protests, yet the demo went largely unnoticed by the media.

I could come up with theories as to why there were few reports on these protests. It wouldn’t be difficult to imagine the reasoning behind the lack of mainstream media reports about protests and demonstrations, but the worrying fact is that no reason should be prevailing. Protests highlight important issues, and often those overlooked or mismanaged by the administration. For there to be several cases in which these issues were underreported, especially when they have been shown to be important to a significant amount of people, smacks of censorship. It is issues like this which might have contributed to the UK ranking 33rd, falling four places since last year, in The World Press Freedom Index.

Last year’s November 5th ‘Million Mask March’ protests, influenced by the film V for Vendetta and organised by the online organisation Anonymous also went largely unreported, despite huge numbers of participants in over 400 cities worldwide. It was however fairly well covered on social media, the main medium for  participation in and organisation of the event.

June’s People’s Assembly March saw over 50,000 protesters marching against the government’s austerity policies. Again, there was very little to no mention of in the mainstream media; reports which did emerge focused upon Russell Brand’s involvement in the cause.

As we increasingly look to social media as the source of our news, it will be harder and harder to ignore the things that people are talking about. Journalists will feel a greater a responsibility  to talk about the stories that matter to people. Maybe in future we will see better reporting about protests involving tens of thousands of people on controversial issues, which might not be convenient news stories, but are stories that matter.