Sunday, May 18, 2025
Blog Page 167

Dear Britain: Biden doesn’t hate you… you’re just not relevant.

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Recently, President Biden ignited controversy when he announced that he wouldn’t attend the coronation. The right-wing British press has seized upon this as yet another example of his supposedly long-standing anti-British sentiment. Dan Wootton of the Daily Mail alleges that Biden’s pride for his Irish heritage, his mother’s hatred of the late queen, and his sympathy for Megan Markle indicate that he is “both monarchy and Britain-hating”. These ridiculous claims reveal an embarrassing delusion about the global status of Britain, that I hope to set straight. Because frankly, your arrogance has gone on long enough.

The first example of Biden’s anti-British sentiment, Wootton claims, occurred shortly after his victory in the 2020 election. A reporter with the BBC asked the then president-elect for “a quick word with the BBC”, only for Biden to jovially respond, “the BBC? I’m Irish!”, which sparked an immediate meltdown on the British right. Washed-up Brexiteer, Nigel Farage tweeted, “as you can see from this clip, Biden hates the UK”, and in his more recent article, Wootton labouriously recalls how Biden gave the journalist a “threatening glare, before breaking out into a grin”. Who knew that the British, famous across the pond for their splendid wit, could fail to recognize such an obvious joke? More serious concern has risen from Biden’s consistent dedication to peace in Northern Ireland. Throughout his presidency, he has opposed the Northern Ireland protocol and supported the return of power-sharing between Catholic and Protestant parties. When he reiterated this last week in Belfast, former First Minister of Northern Ireland, Arlene Foster, again levied the accusation that Biden is an Irish nationalist who “hates the UK”, as if there could be no other possible reason for the president to be invested in the stability of Western Europe.

Not much time needs to be spent debunking these ridiculous claims. Biden has worked closely with all three of the past Prime Ministers to provide aid to Ukraine, and last year signed the AUKUS pact, whereby the US and the UK will jointly assist Australia in the acquisition of nuclear-powered submarines to protect their interests in the Pacific against China. And as for Biden’s position on Northern Ireland, support for the Good Friday Agreement has hardly been a novel foreign policy initiative of the United States. If Biden’s goal has been to wreak vengeance upon Britain for the mistreatment of his Irish ancestors, he has done a poor job.

So what explains his refusal to attend the king’s coronation? Wootton ominously describes how amidst the Troubles, Biden’s pro-IRA mother advised him, “don’t you bow down to her”, before the then-young senator met with the late queen. But while this makes a compelling tale of patriotism and vengeance, the truth is perhaps much more frightening to right-wing British ears: Britain is simply not relevant enough to warrant the president’s participation in its twee ceremonies. After World War II, the exhausted British Empire rapidly crumbled. India and Pakistan went first in the 40s, then the West Indies in the 50s, and finally Africa in the 60s. Even the white settler colonies of the British Empire, namely Canada, Australia, and New Zealand, drifted away. Australia and New Zealand have pursued closer relations with each other and their neighbours in Southeast Asia, and with the signing of NAFTA in 1994, Canada went from being Britain’s eldest son to America’s younger brother. Despite all the attempts by Britain to reassert itself as a great power, such as its botched attempt to maintain control of the Suez Canal in 1956, its refusal to adopt the euro, and most recently Brexit, it is obvious that Britain has little hope of being anything other than a medium-sized European regional-power.

While few are deluded enough to believe that Britain is still the empire it once was, many British right-wingers believe that Britain maintains, or ought to maintain, a kind of cultural hegemony over its former colonies. The monarchy is a good example of this. When its colonies gained independence, Britain assented with the caveat that Queen Elizabeth remained their ceremonial head of state. This arrangement allowed Britain to pretend as though they still had an empire, without the economic and ethical costs attached. For most former colonies, however, this was temporary. By the time of her death, the number of realms Elizabeth ruled over had declined from thirty-two to fifteen, and it is likely that this decline will only accelerate under the less popular and more scandal-ridden King Charles. I do not intend to dispute the supposed benefits that the monarchy gives to Britain, but to pretend as though it has relevance beyond this island, including in its former colonies is absurd. Neither Narendra Modi of India, Shebhaz Sharif of Pakistan, nor Muhammadu Buhari of Nigeria will be attending Charles’s coronation, despite the fact that their countries used to be ruled over by the British monarchy – nor should they. Why should the symbols of a brief and miserable half-century of colonialism be so prized when these countries have their own traditions and ceremonies?

Some might argue that the United States is different from these. After all, the United States speaks the same language, follows the same religion, and has the same ancestors as Britain. There is a supposed “special relationship” between the British and the Americans, some say. But even this is overblown. The United States has always been a melting pot, and its composition has significantly changed from the colonial days of Jamestown and Plymouth Rock. In addition to its original indigenous inhabitants, the United States has been shaped by massive waves of immigration from Europe, Asia, Africa, and Latin America. According to a 2000 census, only around 12% of Americans claim British ancestry. That is equal to the number of Americans who identify as black, and smaller than the 17% who identify as German and the 19% who identify as Hispanic. With these statistics, Biden has more of a reason to attend the coronation of the Spanish king, the opening of the Bundestag, or the inaugurations of West African presidents than to indulge in the United Kingdom’s quaint ceremony surrounding its powerless figurehead. To demand that the leader of the free world pay special attention to it would be beyond entitled.


My message to those upset by Biden’s actions is simple. Britain isn’t the vast colonial empire it once was, and it’s about time people stop pretending it is. Enjoy the coronation – but don’t expect everyone else to.

[Biden] Image Credit: UKinUSA / CC BY-SA 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Captain’s Corner: OUBbC

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Cherwell was given the opportunity to speak with the Oxford University Basketball Club’s president, Shivani Abensour, in our first instalment of Captain’s Corner.

Tell us about when you started playing basketball?

I started playing the year before I joined Oxford, in my gap year. When I joined Oxford I tried out for OUBBC, I didn’t really think I’d get selected, but I did.

What made you want to get involved with basketball in Oxford?

My older brother got me involved in basketball at home. When I got to Oxford, I thought “I’ll try it out, why not? Being on a team sounds fun.” Trials were super intimidating because there were loads of people who could play basketball really well. When I got selected, I remember thinking this is going to be so much fun because basketball is such a great sport to meet lots of people. It’s super sociable.

What drew you to basketball?

It’s both a good workout and a nice thing to have alongside your work and other stuff that keeps you busy at Oxford. After a basketball training session, you come out sweaty and exhausted and feeling like you had a proper workout. I enjoy that. It helps that the people are nice and stuff. It’s always a great time.

What makes basketball the best sport?

There’s two sides to it. If you’re athletic, you can do well, but at the same time there’s so much intelligence to the sport, and you can really study it, its tactics and plays for example. Plus, I think it really teaches you to have a strong mindset. To say “Okay, well, this week I haven’t been doing very well. But next week, I’ll be back pushing through the tough times.

What position do you play?

I’m usually shooting guard.

What does a shooting guard do?

I’m quite small. Shooting guards, stay kind of outside the three-point lines and cut through. You’re not a big player who’s posting up next to the hoop. If you have a good dribble and a good shot, you’ll get on as a shooting guard.

Is OUBbC just tall people only?

No. It does help if you’re tall, but at our level, being smaller, and more athletic and stuff is better than if you’re really tall, but not athletic in any way. Anyone can join the club – in the blues team, we didn’t have that many tall people this year.

How’s the season gone?

Pretty well. In the BUCS league, both teams are in Division One, The men finished third and the women finished second. Which was really great, because when we started, we thought we were going to get relegated! The women 2’s however got relegated to division three, which is unfortunate but probably a good thing anyways, because they lost quite a lot of players last year.

And this season saw the men’s team join the National Basketball League?

Yes, we started in the NBL this year. A lot of the Blues players are very skilled and wanted to play in the league especially considering they are doing so well. The only downside is that when you join the NBL you have to start at the bottom division and work your way up. So yeah, they were doing well, they finished 5th this season.

How did varsity go?

Varsity was a clean sweep for OUBBC with wins across both the blues and reserves for men and women. The W2 game however went down to the wire.

The W2 game was intense, all over the place. You didn’t really know who was going to win until the last minute. In the other games, despite what the scoreline suggests, they were close. The woman’s blues game, for example, started out quite close. As the game went on, and the second half began we started playing really well. One of our shooters got a few 3-pointers and that created the gap. All the games were really good fights. It wasn’t like one team was massively dominating over the other.

Was Varsity altogether a memorable day?

Yes, it was a big day, we even had a pop-up shop! We had so many spectators, I think 180 seats in the Main Hall. Plus the top of Main Hall was packed. By the end of the day, we had maybe 200, or 300 spectators!

What’s your best sporting moment?

Winning varsity this year. It’s my last year here and I’ve won all my varsities throughout my time which is great. It was a nice way to end, winning in the last game of the season, my last game representing Oxford.

What is the worst defeat that you can think of?

Our defeat against Worcester. It wasn’t the worst defeat of the year, but it was hard because the players were tough on us. The vibe of the game was more aggressive and there was a lot of chat. That wasn’t a fun game to play.

Did you guys decide to embrace the spirit of smack talk from them?

No, that’s really not our thing. All the girls on the team are very friendly and very nice. I don’t think any of us could ever talk back in the team.

The worst bit about being President of OUBBC?

It’s a lot of responsibility, and I juggle lots of jobs at one time.

And the best bit is?

Giving back to a club has given me so much. But also changing the way the club was run. Giving more attention to women’s and wheelchair basketball at Oxford. OUBBC is a joint club and equal treatment is important.

One’s to watch?

Holly Hayward. I think she had a game where she scored only 3 pointers, that’s crazy! Maike Meier plays WNBL for reading, not only is she an amazing player she has a great vibe. On the men’s side, there’s Josh Soifer who has the highest number of points in a game in our history, which was over 50 points, perhaps 56 or something, which is crazy. Also, their captain Alex Koukouravas is another great player.

Where do you see the club going in the future?

It slightly depends on who’s there and who’s staying, but definitely growing wheelchair basketball and giving them more help to have a proper team. Besides that, the goal is to build solid teams and keep winning our varsities.

Where can we watch OUBBC?

The season’s over now. But when it resumes, we have BUCS games on Wednesdays and the NBL on Saturdays all at Iffley. BUCS games are always great to watch, usually with 6 pm or 8 pm Tip. It’s good vibes even if you don’t really know basketball, it’s always fun.

Image Credit:[Shivani Abensour] Oxford University Basketball Club

Top 10 Films for a Trouble-Free Trinity

For many, Trinity term brings about deadlines, exams and proves to be one of the more stressful terms of the academic year. But, for every bit of stress, there’s a summer day, an approaching sense of closure and a long sprawling summer to keep us going. With those days in mind, here’s a list of my top ten films for a trouble-free trinity.  

1.     Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. In this 1986 comedy caper, high school wise-guy, Ferris, has refined the art of skipping school and getting away with it. Ahead of his graduation, he is determined to enjoy one more day off with his girlfriend and best friend despite his principal’s mission to catch him. In the words of whip-smart Ferris: ‘Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it!’. If that isn’t a welcome reminder for Trinity, I don’t know what is.  

2.     Everything, Everywhere All at Once. The film that swept this year’s Oscars is every bit deserving of the critical acclaim it’s been receiving. The absurdist adventure follows Chinese immigrant, Evelyn, who alone must save the world from an inter-dimensional rupture. There are sausage fingers, googly eyes, unfinished taxes and a massive heart at the core of the film that spotlights the highs and lows of the so-called American Dream. If you want a slice of summer escapism, look no further. 

3.     Black Panther is the film that marked a new chapter for the MCU. With a hugely successful commercial release and critical acclaim, the film demonstrated to Hollywood and its audiences the beauty and importance of African-American narratives. The film has a stellar cast and is a stunning superhero adventure to immerse yourself in. 

4.     Stand by Me. Four friends decide to sneak away from their homes and hike to find the corpse of a local teenager killed by a passing train. It’s not the typical set up for a coming-of-age story and yet it works. As Gordie, Chris (young River Phoenix is a particular stand out performance), Teddy and Vern pick their way across train tracks and woodlands, they all go through learning curves that will resonate with audiences as much now as the film did when it was released in 1986. 

5.     The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent. Nicolas Cage plays a version of himself in this bonkers comedy that sees himself, a struggling actor, accept a payment of $1 million dollars to be the guest of honour at the mysterious Javi Gutierrez’s Mallorca birthday bash. The film is hilarious, wild and the perfect way to spend a couple of hours destressing this term.  

6.     Pride and Prejudice (2005). It’s hard to get more romantic than Mr. Darcy’s hand flex after helping Lizzie into her carriage and, for that scene and more swoon-worthy romance, Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice is the one to watch. With its dewy cinematography, longing stares and familial charm, this take on Jane Austen’s classic is the ultimate comfort watch. 

7.     Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. Emma Thompson’s English teacher hires sex worker, Leo, in hopes of fulfilling everything she’s missed out on in three decades of marriage with her late husband. Daryl McCormack and Emma Thompson make an electric pair on screen and, with a minimal set and Emma Thompson’s final, empowering nude scene, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande is an absolute feel-good delight. 

8.     Top Gun. 1986 was a great film for cinema and Top Gun is a large reason why. A classic for a reason, Tom Cruise stars as Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell who, alongside his best friend, Goose, are training at the Navy’s prestigious fighter weapons school. Exhilarating action sequences, an iconic soundtrack and heartfelt relationships has ensured that this aviation adventure has stood the test of time and makes for the perfect summer watch.

9.     The Breakfast Club. Another iconic film from the 80s, The Breakfast Club sees a band of teenagers from different high school cliques thrown together for another after-school detention. Overcoming their preconceived notions of each other, the film resounded with my teenage self when I first watched it, over thirty years after its release, and remains timeless. 

10.  Coco. Young Miguel has a passion for music despite his family’s ancestral ban on it in their household. Journeying into the Land of the Dead, Miguel finds adventure, music, magic and learns more about himself and his family than he had ever hoped for. Teenage me was impervious to the hype of this film, firmly believing myself to be ‘too old’ for animated movies. But, having finally sat down to watch it with my family, I was proven entirely wrong. Coco is an absolute treasure of a movie – bright, heartfelt, funny and utterly charming, it’s a joy of a film to ensure a trouble-free trinity. 

Trinity term can, notoriously, be a stressful time for students who struggle to give themselves a break in the face of mounting academic pressure and deadlines. Hopefully, this selection of films will provide momentary reprieve for any who may need it. Happy watching!

‘Cozzie livs’ core: recession fashion trends

If mankind has established one thing in the recent years of pestilence and political disarray, it is that anything can become a fashion aesthetic. From the notorious “clean girl aesthetic” (think: linen, small hooped earrings, slicked-back hair, green smoothies) to “bloke core” (think: football tops, baggy or straight-leg jeans), we’ve seen it all and yet barely scratched the surface.

However, “recession core”, a buzz phrase that has recently sprung up 3 years into the current global economic depression, is not the first example of fashion trends reflecting economic decline. Various fashion commentators have noted that the 2008 global financial crisis marked the end of the ‘McBling’ fashion trend, where celebrities and fashion models wore bejewelled materials, heavy jewellery and fur. 2008 saw many celebrities arriving at red carpet events with their necks bare instead of adorned with chains and necklaces, and in more muted, simpler gowns than in previous years.

So how is the “Cozzie Livs”, an abbreviated name for the current global cost of living crisis, influencing fashion trends in 2023?

1. Denim-everything

According to both Vogue and Hello Magazine, “designers made denim sexy for SS23”. Denim is, in fact, everywhere right now: from the famous denim jumpsuit only 3 degrees of separation away from you, to denim maxi, mini and micro-skirts that can be worn during any season. It makes perfect sense in a time of financial decline to make a staple material in everybody’s wardrobe a hot item, and high fashion slightly more relatable. Simplicity and relatability are key influencing factors for designers during recessions.

2. Loose and airy

Various observers have noted that a recurring fashion trend during economic depressions is the donning of baggy trousers, and 2023 is certainly no exception to that rule. In fact, trousers that aren’t loose-fitting are becoming an increasingly rare sight. This winter, the streets of Oxford have been filled with cargo trousers and wide-leg jeans, and during the spring and approaching summer, one can expect to see many pairs of long-line, denim skate shorts and white linen trousers. But why do we go baggy during financial slumps? A logical explanation would be that less consumption due to financial restrictions necessitates the trousers that we do consume to not run the risk of being outgrown.

3. Minimalism

In solidarity with interior design, clothing trends, too, are becoming minimalist. The above-mentioned “clean girl aesthetic”, as well as the business casual look, were both simple but extremely popular fashion styles throughout 2022: this suggests that bright colours, patterns and logos are receding out of popular style. Instead, we are more often seeing monochromatic or dichromatic looks. Muted tones, simple earrings (such as small hooped earrings) and plain bags (often having a barely or non-visible logo) are also on the rise.

We are also seeing less clothing in comparison to the 2019 pre-recession layering trend, where celebrities wore several layers of different coloured clothing. Echoing the recession fashion trends of 2008, celebrities are similarly losing their necklaces on the red carpet. It almost goes without saying why minimalist fashion becomes trendy during recessions, but this pattern also happens to complement the already minimalist interiors of trendy apartments, the simple logos of the biggest companies and a large proportion of current web design.

What to expect: the hemline index

According to the ‘hemline index’, which proposes that skirt hemlines increase in length as the economy declines, we should expect to see streets lined with midi skirts. However, both pleated and denim miniskirts seem to be all the rage this recession. If it is possible to place any sort of positive spin on such dark times, collectively consuming fewer clothes allows for us to get more creative with the clothes we do have, and also offers the environment a nice warm hug.

For the Love of Libraries: The Taylorian

The city of Oxford is home to an extensive library system including both new and ancient ones. From the iconic Radcliffe Camera to the touristy Old Bodleian, to the various college libraries, where most students like to put in late nights of work, Oxford has plenty of study spots as the city boasts a total of over a hundred libraries. It is definitely arduous to choose just one out of the myriad of libraries at Oxford, almost like choosing a favourite book, as they all have their own special qualities and atmospheres, and studying in each one is a distinct experience.

The Radcliffe Camera, popularly known as the RadCam, is a landmark widely recognised worldwide as a symbol of the University of Oxford. Its architectural grandeur and aesthetic appeal have garnered significant admiration from students and visitors alike. However, despite the RadCam’s popularity, my personal favourite in Oxford is the Taylor Institute Library, also known as the Taylorian. Although its exterior may not be as striking as the RadCam, the Taylorian’s interior is breathtaking and sure to leave a lasting impression on any visitor. 

Located on St. Giles Street, the best part of this library is that it shares a wall with the Ashmolean Museum. Once I have completed my work for the day, I often treat myself to a visit to the museum just next door. I love this library for its proximity to the city centre as well. If you have ever been inside the Taylorian, you are definitely familiar with the main reading room, and you may have even done some studying in that space. The primary reading room at the Taylorian features an atmosphere that is both beautiful and comfortable. The grand chandeliers drench the room in a warm amber glow and help to create an atmosphere that is conducive to focus on academic work. The tables located on the balcony provide the best seating in the room. To get a glimpse of what it would have been like to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast, utilise the spiral staircase from within. From this vantage point, the view of the entire room is impeccable. I like to think that every library has a soul of its own, and where the RadCam imbues an intense and slightly chaotic ambient, the Taylorian feels more relaxed and less anxious.

I absolutely enjoy my study sessions in the main reading room, however, snagging one of those coveted balcony seats can be impossible. In those instances, a hidden gem at this library is the Voltaire room, located on a  lower floor. It gets wonderfully quiet, and the mint-green walls are a breath of fresh air from the deep brown theme of the main reading room. The Voltaire room is a good idea if the main room gets busy (as it often does).

As a student majoring in Applied Linguistics and undertaking research that frequently focuses on languages, I find that the information available at the Taylorian, a library dedicated to modern European literature and languages (other than English), is well attuned to my needs.

For all the many reasons mentioned above, the Taylorian remains one of my favourite libraries! The only aspect I wish would change about this library would be the timings. By 7 pm it is lights off so if you are someone who frequently burns the midnight oil, perhaps the Taylorian is not the best option, but it is definitely worth the visit! 
Tip: Once you finish up at the library, make sure to visit the Ashmolean and then grab a bite to eat at Najar’s Place, a Lebanese food cart with great wraps, opposite the Taylorian!

She’s Glad Her Mom Died. And I understand why.

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Having been one of those strange children that didn’t grow up with iCarly – I was more of a Victorious fan – I was surprised at my attraction to a book written by an actress best known for wielding a sock full of butter. Perhaps it was the title that drew me in. Well, of course it was. But why did I care so much? Even I wasn’t prepared for the raw emotional intensity this book would deliver.

Released in August 2022, I’m Glad My Mom Died is a candid memoir delving into actress Jennette McCurdy’s childhood as a former child actor, her struggles with eating disorders, addiction, and most prominently, a brutal reflection of her co-dependent relationship with her mother, Debra. We follow Jennette from her young days as a (somewhat) aspiring actress up until after her mother’s death from cancer. Through her visceral writing, we experience the innocent naïveté that would permeate the first pages of her life. She reluctantly agrees to an acting career, launched at age 6, in the hopes of winning her mother’s approval. Whilst many would view a career as a child actor as a dream come true, for young Jennette it was anything but. At the expense of her freedom and happiness, she believes that this sacrifice will grant her unconditional love from her mother. Obviously, it doesn’t. But it’s heartbreaking to see how long it takes to realise this herself.

She confesses that she had been emotionally and sexually abused well into her teenage years, being given routine breast exams and not even being allowed to wash her own hair. Her mother does nothing to stop the development of her eating disorder. In fact, she encourages unhealthy dietary restrictions and enables her subsequent abuse from “The Creator” at Nickelodeon, as she so affectionately names him. We all know she’s talking about Dan Schneider, but by maintaining his anonymity, we are reminded of the ongoing reality for victims of child sexual abuse. And is it really Nickelodeon without the threat of hush money? Although, frankly, I’m more surprised she was allowed to write about that at all.

As I read her memoir, I couldn’t help but wonder when McCurdy’s iCarly co-star, Miranda Cosgrove, would make an appearance. While her appearance is brief, McCurdy fondly recounts their relationship, offering a glimpse of hope amidst the painful experiences she shares. She also touches on her jealousy towards Ariana Grande, who co-starred with her on the iCarly spin-off show, Sam and Cat. McCurdy’s sincerity and vulnerability throughout the memoir is welcomed, offering a rare insight into the intrusive thoughts that many of us have but rarely share.

Despite the harsh title, McCurdy questions why we tend to romanticise the dead. McCurdy asks her mother this at her grave but ultimately admits to wanting to glorify her legacy like everybody else. But when the dead are not here to defend themselves, we are left only with the past. ‘Maybe she would have apologised’, she wonders, but she knows this just won’t do. You can love someone deeply and still acknowledge the happiness you’ve felt since they’ve been gone.

In a sea of celebrity memoirs, I’m Glad My Mom Died stands out as one of the most poignant releases of 2022. McCurdy’s refreshing honesty provides readers with a taste of what it’s like to read a book actually written by the author themselves. Though she was discouraged from writing as a girl, this memoir is a testament to what could have been for Jennette McCurdy. She’s glad her mom died. And I understand why.

I’m Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy)

“I just like having the stuff”: In conversation with the ‘Crockery Crook’

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In the Hilary term of 2023, Oxford was whipped into a frenzy. The trend of the term is what could you get away with stealing from a college formal hall. Whatever the appeal student thieves have been reported stealing things as little as forks to still-lit candle sticks. The fad got so bad that colleges such as Magdalen and Balliol allegedly sent emails in order to put a stop to the stash stealers. Magdalen offered amnesty to the dish delinquents claiming that they “are giving you the opportunity to return these items before the end of term with no blame attached.” A cheeky Oxfesser captioned the email screenshot “If anyone is after Magdalen stash…JCR dining room on Friday… [smirk emojis]”. Balliol, in a similar manner, branded the silverware swindlers as “incredibly selfish” after 20 cups were stolen from Hall.

Cherwell has obtained an exclusive anonymous interview with a professional college stash thief. Branding herself as the “Crockery Crook”, in this interview she explains her reasoning behind her thievery, her tactics, and what she plans to do with her growing stash of stolen goods. 

Going straight into it I asked her the question that has likely been on all of our minds: “Why do you steal from colleges?”. Her reply was slow, as she thought long and hard about her reasons for doing something that had almost become a habit. Finally answering she claims that “I just like having the stuff. I think it’s kind of cool. It’s a nice little souvenir”, she then goes on to justify her actions “I don’t see it as being that big of a problem. I’m not taking that much.” She explains that “It’s just a thing. We’re all a part of like taking something from each college, it’s like a sort of game. And I just felt like doing it.” It’s a different image of the “selfish” image Balliol paints of these thieves. Is it more accurate to view the trend as a sign of teen spirit? A mischievous game played together by the students? Perhaps. The Crockery Crook reflects on the first time she interacted with a fellow thief “My college mum had a collection of placemats. And I was like, ‘Ooh, let me do that as well.’ She had about five and I was just thought that’s kind of cool.”

Her answer gives a different perspective on how stealing from colleges brings together students, and in the face of all the wealth that these colleges have amassed over hundreds of years, is a couple of placemats and cups really a serious crime? However, what happens after university, I ask, what will you do with this stash once university is over? “I want to keep them,” she answers, “I’m quite a sentimental person, on my wall I’ve got random little bits and bobs that I got when I was at this or that event. It’s a memory thing.” She explains that they’re currently on her shelf at the moment. Along with a collection of other random bits and bobs that she’s got at various events. Though eventually a lot of her stolen hoard will be thrown away, it’s a nice way to remember her time at university.

While this is all nice and mushy, I want to know about the thief persona of the Crockery Crook. “How many colleges have you visited with the intent of stealing?” I ask. This time her answer is quick “Every time I go into a college there is the intent of stealing.” Intrigued, I ask her if she’s ever been caught or close to being caught. Another quick reply “No, I’m too good at my job” she jokes, “I have five placemats, one from Exeter, Balliol, two from Wadham, even one from the Wadham High Table, and a Sommerville one. A wine bottle with the Teddy Hall name on it. Some napkins and some menus, but I’m probably going to get rid of them. I have a Magdalen plate and a Wadham plate.” I ask her if there are any colleges she aspires to add to her collections, stating that “I don’t think I care particularly about the college, but I just want to get little things from the colleges I go to,” though she claims that there aren’t any she aspires to steal from, she aspires to up her game and aim to take home one of the coveted candlesticks from formal hall as she recalls a rumour of someone stealing a still lit candlestick from hall, and another brave soul supposedly stealing a whole chair.

The Crockery Crook is a woman as well as an ethnic minority, I ask her whether her acts are an act of rebellion, taking down the patriarchy and white supremacy that Oxford represents. But she rejects this “I don’t think of it as like, oh I’m rebelling. But I do justify it in that these people have money. It’s not like these colleges are going broke because people are stealing plates.” Though it’s not for some grandiose reason like rebellion, for she’s no Robin Hood she claims, the Crockery Crook emphasises that the trend is more like a tradition and criticises the colleges for suddenly taking issue with it “It feels like how trashing was a whole Oxford tradition. And then all of a sudden, they change their mind and are now like, that’s bad. I feel like this has been a thing for ages, people have been doing it for years.”

The cutlery criminal tradition may be an attested custom imbedded in the forever bizarre Oxford student culture, but what is the Crockery Crook’s final message to those who aspire to be like her? “Just do it. It’s actually not that hard. No one really notices. Bring a tote bag, and slip it in. There’s genuinely no real skill to it. That’s it. That’s my whole advice.”

The Crockery Crook’s words are resounding. Whether you steal from colleges because you want a little souvenir, or because you’re a rebel, you’re part of a collective, a tradition created by Oxford students, for Oxford students. Will silverware stealing suffer the same fate as trashing? It’s likely. But that’s the beauty of Oxford’s weird traditions. Some last hundreds of years, and some are short-lived, only to be revived by future generations looking for some excitement to brighten up the dreary daily life of academia. Maybe what’s important is to live in the moment, no matter what.

Magdalen College sparks controversy with Eid dinner on St George’s Day

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Magdalen College’s announcement of an Eid dinner on April 23 has sparked controversy, with multiple news outlets, including The Telegraph, claiming that the college “cancelled” an annual St George’s Day dinner.

Records obtained by The Telegraph indicate that Magdalen held a dinner in celebration of the patron saint of England “in each of the four years prior to the pandemic, from 2016 to 2019”. However, a Magdalen College spokesperson told Cherwell that in the past hundred years the college had “only had five such dinners to mark the occasion”, the most recent of which it claims was in 2018.

The Magdalen College spokesperson insisted that they “have not cancelled a St George’s Day dinner”, as the college “had no plans” to hold one this year. The college also re-iterates that they have no longstanding tradition of holding a St George’s Day dinner. The college adds that it celebrates all major Christian festivals and saints’ days in its chapel. On Sunday, the college will fly the flag of St. George from St. Swithun’s Tower “as we always do” and will also host the University Sermon for St Mark’s Day.

According to The Telegraph the issue of the St George’s Day dinner provoked an “unholy row” within various senior members of the college body. The Catholic Herald later described the Eid formal dinner as an event which “scrapped and replaced” Magdalen College’s previous Christian tradition, despite official statements issued to the contrary.

The college, however, insists instead that it was happy to “support” a request made by college members to host the dinner. A Magdalen College spokesperson underscores the communal element of the dinner, describing it as “the first day that the whole community can come together for the start of Trinity”.

Eid-al-Fitr celebrates the end of the holy month of Ramadan that takes place on the 9th month of the Islamic calendar where Muslims observe 30 days of fasting abstaining from food and drink from dawn until dusk. This celebration takes place over three days where Muslims take part in an obligatory prayer and donate money to charity whilst spending time with family and friends. Out of respect for the different dietary needs over the period, the college catering team has also provided iftar meals at a subsidised cost for every evening of the month and aimed to prepare halal meat options too.

One Magdalen student recently spoke to Cherwell about the up-coming celebration, sharing that he “deeply values the different cultures that are celebrated at Magdalen and strongly believe that it is one of the best things about the college. Learning about different religions and traditions is front and centre to increased understanding and harmony”.

Magdalen reiterated that they celebrate all major Christian festivals and also celebrate Diwali, Lunar New Year and Chanukah. According to the college spokesperson, the chapel also remains open to the public who are free to join in the Sunday services and Choral Evensong six days a week.

Oxford’s diversity deficit

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Recent strike action by university staff across the UK has once again highlighted concerns over the wages and working conditions in academia. Whilst this makes academia less viable as a career in general, it makes it especially difficult for those who come from less privileged backgrounds. This has led to what the Economist has coined Oxford’s ‘Other diversity crisis’: a lack of diversity within the staff. 

In comparison to other national universities, Oxford trails behind in various measures of diversity, including the level of women in professorship roles or the percentage of BME (black and minority ethnic) academics. Yet, when looking at the number of fixed-term contracts, 66% of Oxford’s academic staff are on such work agreements. The UK university average is 33%. The diversity problem may thus partly be rooted in the prevailing insecure contracts: job insecurity, low wages, and frequent (re)applications make it difficult for staff to persevere in academia, especially those who come from less privileged backgrounds. 

What types of contracts exist?

As the biggest employer in Oxfordshire, the central university alone accounts for almost 15,000 jobs. However, the colleges, which act independently, employ even more. This not only means that the number of fixed-term contracts may in fact be higher (as the 66% only includes data from the university itself) but also that there are various different positions, which come with different contracts. Oftentimes the contracts offered by colleges take these forms:

  • No salaried jobs (often graduate students)

These often pay between £230 and £350 for taking a normal-sized tutorial group for eight weeks, one academic told Cherwell. They come with no guarantee of future work. 

  • Non-stipendiary lectureships 

Non-stipendiary lectureships guarantee a certain amount of hours of teaching for the college. They come with an hourly wage and a small retainer, yet similarly, no guarantee of future work. 

  • Stipendiary lectureships 

These are usually one-year contracts with a yearly salary that require a certain amount of tutorial teaching, organising, and often interviewing for a college. Many of these positions are not full-time and lack job security. 

A Christ Church job posting for a two-year stipendiary lectureship in history, for example, offers a salary between £21,572 and £24,261, which falls below the UK’s 2022 median salary of £33,000. It requires “nine hours per week of high-quality tutorial teaching” and applicants should “have a doctorate, or one that will be substantially complete before the start date in History”, along with a research record that corresponds to their career stage. The appointment in turn entails “no expectation of permanent employment at Christ Church”. 

  • Career Development Fellowships (and similar) 

These positions are typically offered on a three-year basis and have a salary; academics are expected to do both teaching and research. This role is intended to be a stepping stone to more secure jobs for early-career academics. 

Effects of fixed-term contracts 

Fixed-term contracts lead to what is sometimes called the “casualisation” of work or the rise of a “gig economy” in academia. Hereby, employment shifts away from permanent, secure contracts to a more casual type of labour, which operates on fixed terms. This leads to frequent turnover in jobs, where those on fixed-term contracts need to regularly search for and adjust to new jobs, and it requires other staff to take on higher workloads to train them. Consequently, many academics may opt to leave academia; and many won’t even join in the first place. 

Orlando Lazar, a Career Development Fellow at St Edmund Hall, told Cherwell that “[l]ots and lots of teaching at Oxford is performed by people on these sorts of contracts, where there’s no security that they’ll have a job at the start of the next academic year, and low enough pay that you can’t realistically save for periods of underemployment or unemployment.” 

Usually, workers employed on fixed-term contracts by the same employer for four years automatically become permanently employed. However, since many Oxford academics get jobs at a different college after their contract expires, and each college counts as a different employer, this prevents them from becoming permanent.

“[P]eople aren’t just spending some time on insecure contracts as a step on the way to a secure job: they’re staying on those contracts for years and years, or dropping out of academia entirely. They’re propping up the entire system.”

The quality of teaching is also affected: “I know from experience that it’s much easier to do that work well when you don’t have to split your attention between the present, the impending end of your contract, and the level of your bank account.” Lazar’s current fellowship will be the first where he teaches the same students from matriculation to graduation. 

A UCU survey conducted across the UK found that too many mandated teaching hours can have further negative effects on research. To start, 71% of casualised teachers said they did not have enough paid time to give their students the feedback they deserved. As well, 81% of respondents said that their own research was negatively affected by short-term contracts and 96% of respondents agreed that genuinely innovative research would be advanced by more secure contracts. 

The study also found that 71% of respondents believed that their mental health had been damaged by being employed on fixed-term contracts; 43% claimed it even affected their physical health. 

Alongside this, Oxford is also an expensive city to live in – high housing prices and a lack of housing support from the university add to the strain academics face. A study by the job website Adzuna found that Oxford was the third most expensive city to live in, with 32% of income spent on rent. 

How this affects diversity

The ability to deal with financial and job security is often unequally distributed, making it harder for less privileged groups to enter and remain in academia. Many may not have the ability to accept low-paying jobs or accept the risks that come with this. Oxford University currently employs 4415 staff who are not from the United Kingdom, nearly a third of their whole academic workforce. Having to renew visas without the guarantee of a stable job or salary is an additional problem these non-UK nationals may face. 

Statistically, the level of academic BME staff in Oxford is also lower than across the UK: whilst it is 9% at Oxford, it has averaged at 20% nationwide. 12% of professors in the UK are also ethnic minorities – at Oxford, 6% of statutory professors and 8% of associate professors are BME. The university is targeting 9% and 11%, respectively, by 2029. 

According to Oxford Staffing Data, “BME applicants were furthermore less likely to be appointed than white applicants, with 16% of UK applicants of University-led academic posts being BME and only 9% being appointed over the past three years. This was similarly observed among research posts: 25% of applicants were BME, yet only 16% were appointed. Non-UK applicants also experienced disproportionately low rates of success.”  Overall, only 11 out of the 1952 permanent academic staff at Oxford are black. 

The proportion of women in professorship roles was similarly below the UK average: women constituted 28.5% of professorships nationwide, yet only made up 19% of statutory professorships (the most senior academic grade) in Oxford in 2020/21. Within medical sciences, social sciences, maths, physical and life sciences, and humanities, women made up 8.2%, 29.3%, 15.1%, and 31.4% of professorships, respectively. Oxford intends for 27% of professorship roles to be filled by women by 2029. 

Notably, more women and BME staff are on fixed-term contracts at Oxford: 74% of women were on fixed-term contracts compared to 61% of men. 83% of BME staff were on fixed-term contracts, which only applied to 61% of white staff. 

Tim Soutphommasane, Oxford’s newly appointed Chief Diversity Officer also told Cherwell that “[t]here are areas of representation where Oxford is starting from a lower base than other UK universities. At the same time, there are areas where Oxford’s diversity is perhaps higher than what some might expect: for example, 23 percent of Oxford’s research staff identify as BME.”

What is Oxford doing?

Dr Soutphommasane also told Cherwell: “In my first three months here, we’ve funded our staff networks for BME staff, LGBT+ staff, and staff with disabilities. We’ve announced an EDI studentship to enable undergraduates and graduates interested in EDI research or project to have a placement with our Equality and Diversity Unit. We’re creating new forums to share knowledge and experiences on EDI.”

Future work will include the implementation of the University’s Race Equality Strategy, which was finalised last year.” Amongst other measures, this intends to close the Ethnicity Pay Gap, establish representative and inclusive decision-making and governance structures, tackle bullying and harassment, and increase the proportions of senior BME staff. The university has also published guidelines on inclusive recruitment, which encourages departments to take positive action by supporting under-represented applicants through targeted training, mentoring, and encouragement. However, final decisions are made on the basis of merit. 

“This does involve culture change, and making progress does demand sustained efforts. It also requires an understanding that work on this is integral to our success as a global institution.”

Professor Irene Tracey, Oxford’s Vice Chancellor, previously announced an independent inquiry into the pay and working conditions for all University staff, which will also look into fixed-term contracts. The time frame for this is unclear.