Monday, May 5, 2025
Blog Page 178

Pathology and Privilege: The inherent ‘Britishness’ of our political scandals

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Nadhim Zahawi’s slippery handling of his tax affairs represents another droplet in an ocean of dishonour. It emerged last week that the former Conservative Party chairman had failed to disclose HMRC’s punishment of his capital gains tax avoidance on shares worth £27 million in Balshore Investments, an offshore holding company. Prime Minister Rishi Sunak’s promise to govern with “integrity and professionalism” left him with no choice but to wield the axe. Yet the particulars of the scandals which have embroiled the Conservative party as far back as memory stretches no longer feel especially important. The public has become so desensitised to scandal in recent years that the exact sum of money, the preferred colour of wallpaper, and the number of ‘booze suitcases’ have morphed into objects of satire. In this latest iteration of ‘Tory sleaze’, it is Zahawi’s resignation letter rather than the details of his misdeed that best exemplifies the darkness which currently engulfs the heart of British politics. The word “sorry” features only once in the letter, as part of an apology to his family for “the toll this has taken on them”. The remainder of the six-paragraph-piece is an inventory of imagined achievements. The death of Queen Elizabeth II is reduced to a bullet point providing colour to Zahawi’s CV. It is hard to see the relevance of an unprecedented moment of national mourning to the sordid circumstances of his dismissal.  

Zahawi was educated at three London private schools, one of which he returned to in 2019 as the keynote speaker at the prize-giving ceremony. I attended that school and that ceremony. The tone of Zahawi’s resignation letter is a product of a particular system of education which I and many contemporary Oxford students know all too well. This system of education perpetuates certain personality traits in its alumni. These traits have played a material role in the failings of modern Britain, and they are laid bare in the Zahawi affair. His abdication of responsibility is based on the idea that a grudging apology can distract from serious intellectual failings. He shows disdain for the concept of punishment and consequences. The notion of law and order is an irritant in a game where strategies of cheating reign supreme.  

Over the Christmas holiday, I read two books that embedded this in my mind. These were Simon Kuper’s Chums and Richard Beard’s Sad Little Men. The former addresses the role of Oxford university – and its debating chamber – in shaping decades of public life. The latter details how the psychological effects of spending one’s childhood at all-male boarding schools determines the course of one’s adult life. In both books, a certain Boris Johnson plays a starring role. Commentators and biographers often paint our former Prime Minister as a maverick, a uniquely eccentric oddity, even within the class-driven world of British politics. He is not. Beneath the uniqueness of his shambling appearance lies a simple truth, which insidiously connects various institutions of British public life.  

Explanations of Johnson’s failings couched in terms of his “silly style” do not so much miss as profoundly understate the point. It is often claimed that ‘Boris’ would have been a generationally talented journalist, if only he had stayed clear of things that really mattered. As Amber Rudd once said, “Boris is the life of the party, but you wouldn’t want him to drive you home at the end of the night”. This fails to capture the essence of the man and his contemporaries. In the British case, these character failings are institutional rather than individual. They are also class-coded. Our former prime minister is an undeniably talented writer, who possesses wit and a sharp turn of phrase. However, his knowledge of classical languages speaks to the form and exclusivity of his 1980s Eton education rather than a galactic intelligence. Richard Beard’s “sad little men” dutifully memorised fragments of the Odyssey and the Aeneid by rote. If they didn’t know already, then they quickly learned that an ability to allude to canonical Western texts would later provide the veneer of erudition needed to lubricate the path to the top. However, true erudition was never Johnson’s aim. I’m sure his Balliol tutors would corroborate this. Making those who had not received Classical literacy as their birthright feel the phantom weight of crushing inadequacy was all that mattered.  

Indeed, the true ‘benefit’ of the manner in which Johnson and his peers were educated was more intangible. School for them was not a reservoir of knowledge, but a place to learn to play the status game, and thence to navigate the impossibly complex conventions of the British ruling class. In this context, ambiguity was weakness. A perceived ‘lack of confidence’ in the deportment of the tentative scholar would be seized upon mercilessly. Conviction was the name of the game, and truth or a search for subtler tacts were pushed aside. Relics of this have dominated British politics for the last 30 years. When Boris Johnson wrote two versions of a 2016 Telegraph article, each one pitched from the opposite side of the Brexit debate, he was playing an intellectual game. For him, the arguments about sovereignty and economic performance were insignificant matters of detail. The route to power lay in the rhetorical manipulation of those arguments. Johnson was drawing from the philosophy of Carroll’s Humpty-Dumpty, who pompously claims, “when I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less”. 

Johnson’s presentation of an easy, natural confidence was more than enough from the very beginning. His election to Eton’s ‘Pop’ – a society of the most impressive senior pupils – by a constituency of his peers serves as an early example of the man’s one principle: popularity. Within a world as defined by status as 1980s Eton, this early election victory provided a potent instruction in navigating a world governed by the in-jokes and pathologies of a glittering elite. Men like Cameron or Johnson used their intimate knowledge of how the British class system functions to forge strategies for handling their poshness. One cannot imagine either of them asking a homeless man if he “worked in business” as Sunak recently did as part of a toe-curling publicity manoeuvre. Recent polling confirms that Rishi Sunak’s most potent challenge is the impression that he is “out of touch”. Yet Sunak had an ordinary upbringing by any objective measure. The public sees his syrupy statements about the NHS as insincere on account of the enormous inherited wealth of his wife, Akshata Murty. He is rich rather than posh, and in a world where the language of political power is so closely bound to poshness, he suffers accordingly. He is an outsider to the system of whispered convention in which Cameron and Johnson are steeped.  

Moreover, he could conjure this confidence and inspire trust from the very depths of disgrace. It sustained his political career and explained his extraordinary resilience in the face of ever-present scandal. The remarkable thing about his downfall was that it took such a long time to arrive. The key to Johnson’s character, and to the broader crisis of Britain’s ruling class, is encapsulated in his final parliamentary speech in September 2022. He referred to himself as “Cincinnatus, returning to his plough”. Putting to one side the historical fact that Cincinnatus returned to power as a dictator some years after his retirement, this idea strikes a dissonant chord with the acrimonious circumstances of Johnson’s departure and the turbulence of his premiership. The style of his reference, lightened with a slight smirk and undergirded with smug flippancy, was taught to him at Eton. The graduates of these institutions have also profoundly shaped the culture of Oxford university.  Despite its yearly aspirations to ‘reform’ and its endless spamming of the ‘access’ button, the Oxford Union has one real function. It is a playground for future politicians. Its rituals and arcane formulae ape parliamentary practice. It even offered its despatch boxes to the House of Commons as substitutes during the Second World War. The ability to speak well is, of course, important as a component of successful political communication. But the Union – and its wider milieu – has created a fantasy world for itself in which speaking convincingly is all that matters.  

This colossal self-confidence can be traced back to the imperial entanglements of Britain’s elite educational institutions. In the 19th century, their function was to educate an elite to administer an empire This challenge was enormous, yet they answered Rudyard Kipling’s white supremacist call to “take up the white man’s burden // send forth the best ye breed”. The empire may have dissolved in the 20th century, but Britain’s boarding schools maintained a keen sense of their original mission. In some cases, the old imperial associations were strikingly direct. There is an echo of the traditions of imperial civil service in the career of Rory Stewart. For instance, at the height of imperial rule in India, the covenanted civil service – an exclusively white British group of 1,200 – was given responsibility for well over 300 million subject people. Stewart attended Eton and Oxford and tutored the Prince of Wales and Duke of Sussex in his summer holidays. His education propelled him to deputy governorship of the Iraqi provinces of Maysan and Dhi Qar after the 2003 invasion.  

Moreover, the attitudes which had underpinned the British Empire were resilient. Imperialism was a mode of thinking and a style of authority rather than a tangible feature of empire. For instance, exceptionalist ideologies reached a shrill pitch in the paranoia and insecurity of Britain’s post-imperial moment. Boris Johnson had just taken his A-Levels when the Falklands War broke out. David Cameron was entering lower-sixth. Perhaps they both glimpsed the Newsweek front page on the morning of April 1982 as they breakfasted at Eton on food cooked in the ‘second oldest kitchen in England’. Responding to Thatcher’s belligerent response to the Argentinian occupation, the headline that day read, “The Empire Strikes Back”.  

History lessons were always opportunities to buttress a ‘high Tory’ worldview: that the annals of time contained only one story that mattered. Every Eton schoolboy in the 1980s was given a copy of Our Island Story, a narrative of British hegemony, underpinned by the concentration of political power in the hands of a few people. One sees echoes of this in strange places. In his recently released autobiography Prince Harry engages in a lengthy discussion of Eton College’s foundation by Henry VI, his “ancestor”. This reflects a pathological obsession with the British class system: a rigid hierarchy with the monarch at the top. For all the criticism he has ranged in the direction of the monarchy, Harry remains obsessed with deriving status and personhood from its symbolism. As Hilary Mantel noted in an infamous 2013 article in the London Review of Books, Harry “does not know if he is a person or a prince”. This crevasse in his identity cannot be entirely explained without reference to the institutions in which the exiled ginger prince was schooled. Taught from his earliest moments by his family that he was an unimportant cog in a machine, he simultaneously learned that he was a future member of the world’s finest governing elite from his teachers and peers.

It seems to me that Britain’s problems flow from our unique relationship with privilege. If the influential people in contemporary Britain are goldfish, then the cultural inheritance of an elitist education system is the water that they swim in. If generations of privileged young people continue to be taught that power is a game rather than a responsibility, then ‘sleaze’ is here to stay.  

Magdalen JCR president resigns following misconduct allegations

Ciaron Tobin gave up the Magdalen JCR presidency this morning, following allegations of misconduct over which three senior committee members resigned earlier today.

In an email sent to all Magdalen students, seen by Cherwell, Tobin wrote “I have not been able to work effectively with the Exec and have been rash and broken down in communication, since the weekend on my end without resolving it.”

Earlier this morning, Vice President Madeleine Blackburn, Treasurer James Melia, and Secretary Aaron McIntyre tendered their resignations, leaving Tobin’s position increasingly untenable. In a letter addressed to the JCR committee they explained their decision, alleging that Tobin “has not been in keeping with the values of our community”.  Specific details were not given, but were described as “alleged misconduct”  involving “ongoing welfare issues.” In the notice of resignation to the entire Magdalen JCR, the three described their resignation as a result of “untenable working conditions within the JCR committee.” 

In his resignation, Tobin said: “I came into the job thinking I could balance all on my plate…I thought I could still aim for a first and not fall into a terrible schedule of food and sleep, but I have”, adding, “I am behind on essays and now JCR emails and duties”.

The three committee members wrote that they had written a formal request to Tobin three days ago on 7th February, asking him to resign. He refused, and the members of the committee felt they had no other option and that this was “their last resort”.

Tobin was appointed to the post at the start of Hilary Term, taking over from previous President Daniel Dipper.

In response to the event, former Vice President Henry Kay told Cherwell that he was “shocked right now, but there were tremors of trouble on the horizon. Great shame that instability plagues Magdalen once again. One questions a person’s intentions in the role if they refuse to back down in the face of serious allegations and the whole exec resigning.”

BREAKING: Magdalen JCR sees mass resignations over president’s “misconduct”

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Three senior members of Magdalen College’s JCR committee have resigned over alleged misconduct, leaving President Ciaron Tobin’s position increasingly untenable.

Vice President Madeleine Blackburn, Treasurer James Melia, and Secretary Aaron McIntyre have all tendered their resignations. In a letter addressed to the JCR committee they explained their decision, alleging that Tobin “has not been in keeping with the values of our community”.  Specific details were not given, but were described as “alleged misconduct”  involving “ongoing welfare issues.” In the notice of resignation to the entire Magdalen JCR, the three described their resignation as a result of “untenable working conditions within the JCR committee.”

The three committee members wrote that they had written a formal request to Tobin three days ago on 7th February, asking him to resign. He refused, and the members of the committee felt they had no other option and that this was “their last resort”.

Tobin was appointed to the post at the start of Hilary Term, taking over from previous President Daniel Dipper.

In response to the event, former Vice President Henry Kay told Cherwell that he was “shocked right now, but there were tremors of trouble on the horizon. Great shame that instability plagues Magdalen once again. One questions a person’s intentions in the role if they refuse to back down in the face of serious allegations and the whole exec resigning.”

Tobin has called a committee meeting for 10:00 tomorrow, 11th January, as soon as possible within the 24 hour deadline stipulated by the JCR constitution.

BREAKING: Danial Hussain elected SU President

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Danial Hussain has been elected as President of the Student Union for the academic year 2023 with 921 votes. 

The results for the remaining five sabbatical positions were as follows:

Rosalie Chapman elected as VP Welfare.

Mia Clement elected as VP Activities and Community.

Kennedy Aliu elected as VP Liberation and Equality.

Nick Harris elected as VP Postgraduate Education and Access.

Jenni Lynam elected as VP Undergraduate Education and Access.

Hussain pledges to reduce disparities between colleges and increase efficiency and transparency of the Oxford Student Union. He also wishes to prioritise welfare, for example by banning the use of NDA’s within colleges or lobbying for a reading week. 

Hussain told Cherwell: “I’m honoured to be elected the Oxford University Student Union President, especially as the first foundation year and Pakistani student to hold the position. I will work tirelessly to ensure that the interests of students are put before all else. I hope to pave the path for future students from disadvantaged backgrounds to be given a voice. I’m grateful for a chance to represent the many, not the few.”

It’s time to get angry about the explosive impact of fragile masculinity

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On the 11th of January, Alex Davies-Jones made a speech in the House of Commons about the “crisis” unfurling in secondary schools across the UK as a result of the harrowing impact of Andrew Tate’s “vile misogyny”. She raised the important question of what the government is actually doing to “tackle this misogyny and incel culture and the radicalisation of young men in this country”. Sunak replied by announcing a “world-leading, world-first Online Safety Bill”. This bill would enforce child protection regulations and put pressure on tech companies to improve them. Although our increasing reliance on social media and its expanding presence in our daily lives is a very salient, present issue of debate, a more pertinent issue is that of systemic misogyny, and its prevalence in our modern society. 

In an article for The House, Davies-Jones wrote that “the government has gutted and watered down the Online Safety Bill, giving abusers a license to troll”. She demanded that women and girls be given stronger protection, and criticised the government’s delay to introduce this bill since the promises of new laws to improve online safety in 2017. Nevertheless, whilst the intricacies of the Online Safety Bill remain important, Davies-Jones’ predominant rhetoric is one that seeks to indicate the complex, deep roots of misogyny within society. Misogyny can’t just be blocked by an Online Safety Bill. Misogyny is much deeper than a couple of tweets. 

Following the speech she made in the House of Commons, Davies-Jones received a flood of aggressive backlash, including death threats and rape threats. She responded to these by tweeting that her experience was ‘far from unique’, and that the threats she had received were “sadly very common”. The most upsetting part about the backlash she had been subject to is that it was not unexpected. Social media has become a way to act aggressively without consequences, and to bombard individuals and groups with hate. The most insecure people can hide behind a screen and yell the most inexcusable, disgusting things. Consequently, social media has become a hive of fragile masculinity.

I first encountered Davies-Jones’ speech about Andrew Tate through an Instagram story. An acquaintance from my primary school had posted a clip of Davies-Jones on his public Instagram account, with the caption “Tf she on about people being radicalised. He stands for men to stand up for themselves and not to be processed as part of a robot society. And to help stand up against Men’s Mental Health. Ofc it’s a woman know for Feminism who brings this up”. The ignorance of this man just screamed at me from my screen. This brings me to the real issue that has allowed Andrew Tate to have such a monumental impact on young people: education. 

We are constantly subjected to torrents of information from all angles; we are constantly being educated. In school we do not only receive an academic education from our teachers; we also receive a societal and cultural education from our peers and the people we surround ourselves with, and this is often overlooked. Misogyny becomes so easy to normalise when we’re submerged in it from an early age, especially with the addition of cognitive dissonance that men have when it comes to women’s issues. They are distant from it, it doesn’t directly impact them, or frighten them, or keep them up at night. It stops being a serious issue to them when they don’t have to face it everyday. So what’s the harm in a few jokes?

“It’s ok to make jokes about this because it doesn’t affect us, right?”

“You know we don’t actually believe this stuff, right?”

“We don’t mean it, it’s just a joke, right?”

Right?!

It has become increasingly exhausting to exist as a womxn within a culture in which sexism is so often joked about, and only taken seriously in extreme cases. Over the last couple of months alone I have encountered men who have joked about spiking my drink, ‘spotting’ for women at the gym so they can ‘check them out’, and, on one occasion, I even witnessed a conversation between two of the people I share a kitchen with where jokes were made about one of them potentially sexually harassing women in a nightclub. On another occasion I offered to help my friend open a tin of beans for him because he was clearly struggling and he snapped back at me quite aggressively, telling me not to ‘emasculate’ him. Last week, another male friend jokingly asked me to wash his dishes for him because “that’s a woman’s job”. One of the most infuriating conversations I have ever had was with a man who tried to justify the decision made by the US government to overturn Roe v. Wade, beginning with the statement: “Well, Jess, here’s the thing about politics…” I could go on and on and on. Misogynistic encounters like these are deeply unsettling, and completely unacceptable.

The problem is that misogyny is so deeply ingrained within society that it is overlooked.  When I confront my male friends about their inadvertent sexism, they simply do not understand, and rarely take me seriously. Fragile masculinity has become a pandemic, and when encountered, when disturbed, it becomes explosive. 

The most common archetype I see reframed and recycled over and over again in men I know is the figure of the wounded lover. This is a man who shows affection towards a woman and expects something in return, and when she does not reciprocate the feelings, he becomes angry. He uses his pain and heartache as justification to attack and generalise women, and retaliates against an entire gender just because he was conceited enough to believe that a woman owed him affection. This is an example of fragile masculinity.

Another archetype is the man who is not comfortable in his masculinity. Maybe he got bullied as a child, maybe he never received enough encouragement. He feels threatened by women, and has failed to have any successful relationships with women. He treats women with hostility, and sometimes aggression. It comes from a place of fear. 

Yet plenty of people experience hardship without retaliating aggressively against large groups of people, so why does fragile masculinity in particular have such explosive impacts? The answer is Andrew Tate and the hostile culture he has sparked, nurtured, and grown. Tate comforts the fragile masculine ego through the assurance of male supremacy. In his videos he asserts that women are the property of men, and that they are inferior to men and belong at home, because they do not have the proficiency or capability to work as well as men. This comforts the wounded lover; he can keep that mindset that women owe him something, he can get angry. This reassures the man who feels intimidated by women; he can become enveloped in a community that tells him he’s better than them, because he is a man. Andrew Tate monetises the fragile, convinces them to seek power, and to seek escape from society’s confines. His twitter bio reads “Escape the Matrix”. The real matrix is the one in which Tate has trapped so many young men. The impact of this manipulation of such a fragile group of people has been catastrophic. 

So many young boys have been brainwashed into seeing Andrew Tate, a criminal currently in detention in Romania on allegations of human trafficking and rape, as a hero, a martyr, and a leader. Even after being detained, Tate’s tweets have persisted, and continue to create a heroic person who has supposedly been wronged by the system. On the 26th of January, he tweeted “A man without struggle is never going to be a powerful man. The best men you know are men that have been through struggle or depressed and have come out on the other side. If you’re going to be a hero, you’re going to suffer.” Tate is using his detention as a way to gain respect, and to emphasise the importance of struggle for a supposedly worthy cause. If we consider the Instagram story I quoted from an old primary school acquaintance, it is clear that Tate is masking himself as a good person whose intentions are to help men with mental health problems, and that this is really resonating with the fragile masculine ego. The fact that Andrew Tate is being presented as someone who advocates for mental health awareness is deeply troubling and problematic because this becomes a scapegoat for, in the words of Davies-Jones, his “vile misogyny”. Tate’s normalisation of the objectification of women should not be justified or overlooked. It is completely inexcusable to accept Tate as a man with good intentions. 

However, Andrew Tate alone is not the only problem, because the real reason Tate has had such an opportunity to thrive is because of the toxic culture that enables him. As I mentioned before, fragile masculinity is a fast-spreading, dangerous pandemic with destructive consequences for people everywhere. Women are being seriously attacked and disrespected, but fail to be treated as such. The cognitive dissonance between some men’s rational understanding of gender equality and their subconscious actions provoked by a culture rooted in systemic misogyny is concerning. Sexism doesn’t only exist in the big, public actions that everyone talks about but feels distant from. Sexism thrives in everyday encounters, small comments, looks, and habits. My male friends feel like they can joke about misogyny because they feel distant from it. They feel awkward when I call them out on things, they are hesitant and embarrassed to admit that systemic misogyny is prevalent in the everyday culture within which we exist. Sunak responded to Davies-Jones’ anger about the lack of recognition of the damage that misogyny is causing in our classrooms with a general statement about extra funding for schools and the introduction of the Online Safety Bill, with no specific reference to systemic misogyny or women’s issues. It’s time to get angry. It is time to be persistent in our protest of the disgusting amount of attacks that women are constantly subjected to, simply by existing and demanding to be treated as an equal, as a person with autonomy. We can no longer be passive about these issues. While Andrew Tate’s supporters continue to speak confidently about their rights, we must continue to confidently shut them down. If the fragile masculine ego becomes explosive, we must become explosive in return. I will not be treated as property, or as an inferior. I refuse to be silenced. 

An Evening with Bret Easton Ellis

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Queue Blondie, Duran Duran. And in theaters? The ShiningApocalypse Now

The Shards is the novel Bret Easton Ellis wanted to write when he was a senior in high school. Instead, he produced Less Than Zero (1985) which captured what Ellis identifies as the paradoxical feeling of numbness in 80s Los Angeles and launched his career as one of the most prominent novelists of the era. In his own words, it was “a vibe book.” Where Less Than Zero finds teenagers slouching in the shadows of their decisions, the autofiction of The Shards uses the sounds, colors, and textures of the past to recall with unflinching clarity the world of Bret’s youth and to reckon with the motives and actions of those teenagers.

On Friday, February 3, Ellis spoke at The Sheldonian Theater to introduce The Shards. Readers follow 17-year-old Bret through his senior year at The Buckley School, an elite college preparatory day school in Los Angeles, as his relationships with friends weave in and out of their city’s complex sociopolitical landscape. The novel is Ellis’s first in thirteen years. In jeans, a black hoodie, and a polo shirt he confesses to the gathered crowd, “I didn’t have the talent to write a book with as many characters as I imagined. [At 17], I was a liar. I was living a fake life.” He likens being a writer to possessing a superpower – one that he could not control until he gained more experience with his craft. 

When the pandemic hit, Ellis looked up people he knew from his past. He was haunted that he couldn’t find his high school classmates. In his search, Ellis discovered that the coffee shops, the malls, and the movie theaters where he and his friends hung out in high school had all been raised. There was the first spark of inspiration. “The novel wouldn’t be narrated by the 17-year-old Bret, but the 57-year-old man who could flesh out the entire tragedy, who could give context to the horrific events that happen in the book.”

For this reason, New York Times Books critic, Melissa Broder, recognizes “an exciting new vulnerability” in The Shards. Indeed, Ellis stresses during the talk that his book is above all about “the people I loved.” The author explains, “My alienation at that time prompted me to become a writer… I led a solitary existence made up of disappearing into books and movies, being obsessed with music… It’s my turn now to write about myself at that age. The things I went through. The things that haunted me.” 

In the claustrophobic numbness of 1981 Los Angeles, Bret’s alienation acts as a centripetal force for the narrative. Ellis attributes this, in part, to his closeted gay existence. At Buckley, “we were secret agents sending out signals to each other.” He asserts that, just as he did not shy away from Patrick Bateman’s illusions in American Psycho (1991), he would not hide from the complex fantasies of Bret coming to grips with his own sexuality. “A lot of critics think this book has too much sex in it, too much masturbation, that the Bret character has too many fantasies, but if you’re a 17-year-old boy, you want sex constantly. To not have Bret describe the sex he has with girls and boys would be inauthentic.” 

In our conversation after the talk, I ask Ellis what the virtue is in building his texts around his own life experience. “Everyone that is a successful writer ultimately writes what they know regardless of genre. Even science fiction writers create fantasies that are very personal about their longings and about what they aspire to.”

Ellis published Less Than Zero while still a 21-year-old student at Bennington College in Vermont. I mention to him the popular Podcast, Once Upon a Time in Bennington, that details his time as an undergraduate with other culture-defining novelists, Donna Tartt and Jonathan Lethem. What was it like to live and work in a community of aspiring writers? “It was both exciting and daunting. I thought I was [the best writer in the school] until I read Donna’s work. Then I realized she was probably the best.” He shakes his head no with a smile when my follow up is whether he has a hidden part in Tartt’s novel about students who attend a fictional college in Vermont, The Secret History (1992). “Unfortunately, if I had known that so many people would be so interested in that particular time at that particular college and who we were, I think we all would have behaved a lot differently.” 

All three writers went on to produce novels that would captivate the literary world to varying degrees, but unlike Tartt and Lethem, Ellis – maybe for having grown up in LA, maybe because movies were reliable friends in his teenage years – felt drawn to Hollywood. “I regret those years.” He spent much of the early and mid 2000s writing scripts that went through rewrites of rewrites until their stories became unrecognizable from the original or were commissioned but never ultimately produced. Ellis looks back on that time as a failed enterprise. “Those were my 40s and 50s. That’s when writers produce their great novels, and I was in Hollywood writing things that never got made.”

The dedication to The Shards reads “for no one,” and Ellis states plainly, “I didn’t write it for the audience. I’m not that kind of writer.” However, the implications of revisiting the past are not lost on the people gathered in the Sheldonian or the future reader of the novel. Ellis began his career when people congregated at box offices for the event of a big screen picture, before social media reduced the time allotted for a narrative to develop. While the way we receive and internalize stories will always change, the basic human emotions that drive them are consistent – perhaps, persistent. When Ellis brings back the songs and the movies and the characters from the 80s in The Shards, he demonstrates how mature memory may access the whole story. It’s not about vibes anymore.

The Shards by Brett Easton Ellis is 608 pages and published by Knopf. It is available at Blackwell’s for £21.99.

The Secret Knoopologist 2:  Make it a mocha

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Another week has passed and no doubt far too many hot chocolates have been consumed.  My advice? – treat it as a form of self-care!  I always tell regulars, a chocolate (or two) a day keeps the doctor away.

Knoops is obviously famed for its hot chocolates and that’s certainly the thing that makes people keep on coming back but there is one item on the menu that sometimes goes under the radar: the mocha.

I think this is for a few reasons.  For a start, most people don’t realise that it’s on offer, drawn in simply by the standard chocolates.  After that though, even more are unaware that you can personalise it to your heart’s content, just like a chocolate.  And this is where you enter a world of possibilities…

The mochas are made much like the hot chocolates and not by merely adding a powder like many cafes.  The chocolate is still melted in whatever milk you have chosen to achieve that perfect frothiness (the essence of the chocolate as Jens himself might say!) and then the espresso is added afterwards, allowing it to flow through the whole drink.

The standard mocha is offered at 54% but if you ask me, you are best going for a much darker option.  The 80% Uganda is my preferred to give that smoky touch to the coffee.  Otherwise, the 64% brings a fruity element into play and the 72% from Peru has a distinct bitterness that works superbly.

Elsewhere, the mocha milkshake can serve as the ultimate indulgence.  The 96% and the 80% both bring an intensity balanced out by the ice cream to make a dream combination.  Feeling out of the box?  Go for the 28%.  Usually, the white chocolate is far too sweet with the soft-serve milkshake but the coffee can bring in that perfect balance whilst still having the sweet vanilla notes.

That’s it from me this week – check back soon for more advice and tips on how to make the most of that Turl Street indulgence…

Image: CC2:0//Via Wikimedia commons.

‘Thamesis’ Interview: “The most refreshing thing you’ll see in Oxford drama.”

FS: Firstly, I have to check: is it Tem-e-sis or Tem-ee-sis? I’ve heard it pronounced both ways. 

Nathaniel: It doesn’t really matter, there’s no set way, but we settled on Tem-e-sis because it’s easy to explain (rhymes with nemesis). It’s an anglicised version of the Latin name for the Thames, we added the h to make it more familiar-looking. The Latin word has obscure roots but seems to come from a Sanskrit word for dark things, so I like the fact that [the name] is what you know about the Thames but slightly skewed, slightly mysterious. 

How much is the show about the river? 

Nathaniel: The river is a much bigger part than the script lets on at the start. (…) The play started off as me doing research into the Thames and finding it really interesting and then where that lead me in terms of Britain’s ancient culture and religion. So yeah, the river is pretty central to the play. 

Can you give a brief summary of the play?  

Nathaniel: It’s quite hard to describe the play as the form of it is very different to the content of the play. A man arrives on the stage to deliver a performance in celebration of the festival [of Midsummer] and the night doesn’t quite go to plan. His performance begins to unravel, and he’s forced to confront the secrets of his past that he didn’t want to face. It ties together literary heritage with your own personal history and the way in which you can parallel obscured history with your own forgotten past.  

Did you do research into pagan rituals for the show? 

Nathaniel: That side of the play very much comes from my own interest in it, I did 2-3 years of research not with the intention of writing the play, just because I’m interested in it. I study Classics and the idea of geographical theology and gods within a place I found really interesting. (…) The idea of gods that are very tied to the natural world and the changing seasons and using that as a starting point for religious practise in ritual and reflection. So there’s a lot groundwork that’s been done that’s (…) hardly scratched in the play but that just about comes to the surface. 

Given that most people, when they think of pagan rituals especially in the modern day, associate them with group worship such as that practiced at Stonehenge, why did you choose to stage this as a one a man-show?  

Nathaniel: In terms of the pagan stuff, I think it’s actually very common for a lot of people that follow these rituals and processes for them to do it in solitude… If you look online there’s a lot of stuff about being pagans in solitude, and I think it’s because a lot of the festivals you can do by yourself. There is a big community spirit to a lot of them and their original roots are big community festivals, but a lot of it is about using season markers and seasonal changes as a parallel to your own life. It’s very introspective, using the outside world for your own personal meditation and reflection, so a lot of it can be done in solitude which is very nice and contemplative. 

I chose to do it as a one man show because the way that I use the festivals both in real life and in the play is extremely personal and takes it into this idea of how the outside world and nature can really force you to look at yourself and consider yourself in this cycle of seasons, and where you fit into that with your own personal history. 

How much of yourself is in the play and its central character? Did you always know you were going to play them? 

Nathaniel: I think someone else could have performed it, it didn’t have to be me. I think it was very much written in my voice which is good and bad: a lot of rehearsals have been us thinking about how a lot of the script is just the way that I talk…The processes of using these festivals and some of the revelations towards the end are based on my own experiences but at the same time we have pushed it into the fantasy world and into a narrative that’s not wholly mine. It’s kind of like 60/40 autobiographical and fictional. 

What has it been like directing Nathaniel, both working with his writing and as an actor in his own play? 

Leah: I think it’s worked surprisingly well. Me and Nathaniel are very good friends, but I think it’s been good because it’s helped me to understand how to separate the character from the person and see kind of how that can physically be done, and also to see how the writer and the performer separates… The most challenging thing is the physicality and trying to separate idiosyncrasies from Nathaniel as a person from the character, trying to make sure the performance is performative. [The show] is quite didactic in a lot of senses, it’s teaching the audience about the traditions of midsummer that they might not have heard of, so it’s been quite challenging to figure out that balance of teaching and also connecting. It’s a difficult piece to act—I don’t think I’d want to act it. 

Have you directed before? How has this been different? 

Leah: I direct most of the Oxford Revue shows, I also directed to my Cuppers play ‘Punchline’ which I wrote as a one-person play. This is different scale because there’s so much of it but also because the language is so beautiful and so well crafted… every single transition has its own purpose. It has been difficult to have that overarching feeling of what an audience will understand, versus what I understand, and what Nathaniel understands, especially as we’re both neurodivergent so we thought we might find it challenging to see the big picture. It’s actually worked really well though. 

Has it just been your two voices in the rehearsal room or more people? 

Nathaniel: We’ve got quite a tight knit crew—everyone in the crew, apart from Faye, our composer, I’d already worked with a lot, some of them for years. When it came to the journey of getting this onto the stage, I just wanted people I could trust, not only with the work but with being able to give as much input as possible. I sent the original draft out to I think six script editors? I was just like, “I trust you all, not only with my personal experience but with like my work to tell me what you think and what you think can be changed.” (…) We have about four dramaturges that have been there since the start and it’s not just a cast of look at the script once and then go away – some are helping with marketing and production and things so it is very collaborative process. (…) In the rehearsal room it has been like people coming in and out but it has mostly been me and Leah which has been really nice. I think what Leah does so well is bring out the fun in a script, she really has the ability to draw life out of the script and into the performance which has been really fun to learn. It’s also been really nice to have this relaxed setting because obviously the work is quite vulnerable so it’s been nice with Leah to make it as silly as possible, to push it as far as it can go and then pull it back and think about ‘right, how is this going to work in a performance space?’ 

Leah: I think it’s really important [to have this kind of relationship], I think sometimes in a lot of spaces within OUDS it can get a bit too formal and we just don’t get that much of a sense of camaraderie between the cast and the director. I’ve been on the other side as an actor, so has Nathaniel as producer, and those perspectives have been really helpful for us both. 

Are you nervous about performing something so personal, which has so far only been shared with people you are very close to?  

Nathaniel: Surprisingly I’m actually not too nervous about sharing the content—a lot of the content is very personal but they are experiences I’m very open about and have frequent conversations with people about, and it’s (I hope) far enough removed from my experience that it’s not too personal… What I’m more nervous about is the vulnerability of acting, I think especially in front of people that I’ve produced and been in charge of, having those tables flipped and having to act for [them]. I’m excited, especially because I’m singing in it as well which is very healing for me and very calming in the play as well. So not too nervous as of yet—maybe once we get to Tuesday! 

Why should people come and see the show?  

Leah: It’s beautiful, it’s organic, there’s an original folk score, and it’s the most refreshing thing I’ve seen in Oxford drama – I’ve never seen or heard anything like it. 

Nathaniel: Not to toot my own horn but people should come because hopefully they will learn something about the practices of a culture that is quite underground in contemporary Britain, and there is a lot of teaching about this throughout the show. It’s a fun, different way of playing with the form of theatre, an exploration of the performance space and what that means for the character. (…) I think it will be a very different experience of watching a play than what most people are used to in student drama. 

Thamesis is showing at the Burton Taylor Studio, Tuesday 7th-Saturday 11th February, 9:30pm.

A kick in the balls: College balls less affordable as access prices increase

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Cherwell has found that college balls are becoming less affordable, despite increased access initiatives. While the median standard ticket price has decreased over the last year, the median price of “access tickets” has increased. Students from low-income backgrounds or facing financial hardships are often priced out of attending balls, even at their own college.

Last week, the news of the St Hugh’s Ball cancellation angered many Hughs students and raised concerns for those who had purchased an access ticket for this event. These tickets were amongst the cheapest on offer this season, being sold at half price, £57.5. Given that the stated reasoning for the failure of the ball was financial risk, tied to insufficient ticket sales, this raises deeper concerns than access to one event. In regards to affordability of balls at Oxford, there is a serious question for whether accessibility remains affordable.

The median ticket prices for both white and black tie college balls are lower than last year’s by about £11. The price of the median access ticket, however, has risen by about £25. This exceeds the impact of inflation, meaning low-income students are paying more in real terms.

Moreover, the access tickets are amounting to less of a discount when compared to the price of a standard ticket. The median access ticket last year was 44% less than the median standard ticket, while this year it is only 41% less.

The value of the subsidies provided does not appear to correlate with the percentage of low-income students at each college, according to figures listed in the 2021 annual admissions report. Colleges with a proportion of low-income students above the university average of 13.3%, like Mansfield and Hertford, did not sell any access tickets last year. Meanwhile, Lincoln College, where only 5.9% of 2021 admits were from low-income backgrounds, offered some of the most generous access ticket prices at 25% of standard price or free. The disparity of subsidies across colleges demonstrates that access measures are not always adapted to assist those with the most need.

The relative wealth of a college has an understandable impact on the availability of access tickets, though not as dramatic as may be expected. All but one of the five wealthiest colleges per capita did not offer subsidised tickets for its students. On the lower end of the scale, the poorer colleges tend to not offer access tickets, with the significant exception of Lady Margaret Hall, which boasted comprehensive access schemes for their ball. At LMH, all Crankstart scholars and those who have previously completed the Foundation Year programme received half-priced tickets to the 2022 ball, while those currently on the Foundation Year programme attended the ball for free.  

This comparison does not take into account colleges which offer flexible reimbursement or other access schemes of unspecified monetary value. Three balls fell into this category last year, including St Catherine’s ball, “Eclipse”. The Catz JCR voted to put aside £5000 to ensure “that any JCR member that wants to come to the ball but for whatever reason is unable to pay the full ticket price can get support”. Following this announcement, an email was sent to all undergraduates a week before ticket release explaining how to apply for “a fully-subsidised or partially-subsidised ball ticket”. 

Amongst the balls in 2022-23, three balls are implementing similar broad affordability schemes, including Merton’s and Magdalen’s white tie commemoration balls. On the whole, it seems that those wishing to attend a white tie ball are more likely to find access tickets: six out of seven of the commemoration balls within the past two years offered subsidies and reimbursements. Many white tie balls also develop partnerships with local dres shops and clothing rental services. New College, for example, partnered with Rathbone Tailors to provide a 20% discount for clothing hire. However, hiring a full suit with a tailcoat or an evening gown with optional gloves and tiara, as is required by the dress code, can cost nearly as much as a ticket for a cheaper ball.

The only white-tie ball which did not offer significant quantities of tickets at low cost was Queen’s’, the cheapest white tie ball in 2022. General rather than targeted affordability seemed to be a priority of planners in this case.

David Hamer, Co-President of this year’s Crankstart Ball, understands this strategy. Since the allocation of access tickets is limited, means-tested, or restricted to a certain bursary category, it can be difficult to fairly distribute these subsidies, especially since financial information is protected and personal. Hamer admits that “you could definitely argue that the only appropriate action is to reduce the cost of the ball for all and sacrifice some of the extravagance for accessibility”. However, he caveats his statement, adding that the money lost in cheaper tickets would have to be made up in college support or sponsorship.

This year, the overall decline in ticket prices does not help the students who would most benefit from subsidised tickets. Bursaries from the UK government, the University of Oxford, and colleges help students pay for living expenses and other costs of student life. However, the government Maintenance Loan has not risen on par with inflation over the last year, rising only 2.3% while the Consumer Price Index has risen 9.2% year on year as of December 2022. In contrast, the university’s flagship scholarship program for students from lower income households, the Crankstart Scholarship, has risen by £500. College financial support varies from dedicated bursaries to hardship funds. 

Nonetheless, there are options for students whose college does not offer a sufficiently inexpensive ball. Many society balls, like the LGBT Society’s Glitterball or the University Biological Society Ball, offer ball tickets below £60, though some require membership to obtain the lowest priced tickets. The Crankstart Ball, the first event of its kind dedicated to low-income students in many years, sold all tickets for under £70, including guest tickets. Crankstart scholars also received tickets costing around £59.

The Crankstart Ball organisers wanted to make the event as “accessible as possible”. In Hamer’s experience, “there has absolutely been an expectation at Oxford for students to go to college balls.” This expectation – combined with the decision of many colleges to evict students from certain areas of the college on the night of the ball – means that even those who cannot afford the tickets feel pressured into buying them anyways.

With the increase in cost of living and the decrease of access tickets, balls are becoming less affordable for low-income students. If only the most extravagant commemoration balls, at the richest colleges, offer meaningful access schemes, then the tradition of the Oxford college ball may become increasingly out of reach.

Table d’Alix: Toujours parfait

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A lot has changed in the year that has passed since I last reviewed Table D’Alix in Great Haseley. I was more than relieved though to discover that things there were reassuringly similar. A new star chef and new dishes yes, but the restaurant is still a warm, inviting atmosphere to enjoy the kind of authentic French experience almost impossible to find here.

We were welcomed with a firm handshake at the door by Antoine as always: the owner and maître d’ leading the team with his friendliness, passion, and knowledge. Seated in the corner I was able to survey the scene and remind myself of what a fantastic main dining room Table D’Alix has. Light pours in, bouncing off the trademark chandelier and highlighting a set-up full of perfect little touches.

Bread, as one would expect, arrived first alongside a Ricard for the full French experience. I intended to save some of the warm selection of freshly baked rolls for my moules later on — suffice to say there was no chance. Tartare de Bouef is one of my favourite French dishes and is one of the hardest to find overseas. This one arrived with the perfect selection of sauces and was made great by its incredibly rich Burford Brown egg yolk.

Next up from the starters was a truly unique lobster dish. It consists of half a lobster served with potatoes in a rich cognac lobster bisque. That remarkable richness is explained by Antoine, who talked me the through the process. The lobsters come in every morning and the heads are boiled straight away and all day, reducing down to make a sumptuous bisque that would easily be delicious enough on its own as a soup, never mind when paired with the fresh claw meat.

Moules frites were next, this week’s featured dish in Table D’Alix’s ‘Tour de France’. Every Thursday they offer a classic French dish, think Boeuf Bourguignon or Coq au Vin, a glass of wine, and mousse au chocolat for just £25. The deal is superb value and is just the kind of reason that somewhere such as this manages to survive where so many other pubs and restaurants fail. There is nothing snobby about Table d’Alix and it has inserted itself into the local community with the kind of ease that many owners across the country dream of. The moules themselves are perfect of course. Having taken slightly longer to come into season this year they are now well-sized and served alongside traditionally crispy fries.

The other main course we had was one of the true showstoppers and undoubtedly one of my favourite dishes of the year so far. It was a whole Dover Sole served on the bone (as you may be aware by now, just how I love it!), with a rich caper butter. The sheer amount of fish is incredible and easily enough to share between two — the plethora of capers only adds to the perfect counter to the indulgent butter. Get it served with the Petit Pois a la Francaise for the dream combo. These are to die for, cooked in butter and pancetta to leave you wanting more and more — something I rarely say about peas!

And then cheese. I was struggling to know where to start with this but on a basic level, there is just one thing you need to know: here in Great Haseley there is still a cheese trolley. There is no skimping and taking the options anywhere near a fridge to ruin the flavour and the diverse selection is perfect. For me, the standout was a delightfully punchy goat’s cheese from Corsica.

Deserts, if you make it, are ridiculously indulgent as you might expect. The Surprise du Chef au Chocolat is made by the crisp honeycomb biscuits that it comes with and the hazlenuts balance the intensely dark chocolate. Save some red wine from your cheese for the perfect combination!

And I haven’t even mentioned the wine! Our Ricard, Port, and Guy Saget Chardonnay were all lovely but I cannot finish without writing of one of the best value wines I’ve tasted in a long time. The Chateau du Haut-Plateau Saint-Emilion is a 2015 vintage and available by the glass and the bottle for just £52. Its earthiness was genuinely standout for the price and the nose an absolute dream. It’s one of those reds that goes with pretty much everything and you can genuinely keep drinking all night long.

Table d’Alix really is one of the most unique and special restaurants I have ever visited. Still a fairly well-kept secret, I just can’t see it staying that way for long. The new head chef previously spent six years at Le Manoir Quatre Saisons and regular visits from Raymond Blanc, his guests, and his staff only point to just how remarkable the food is. Homely, reasonably priced, and above all delicious, there really is something for everyone here. Come from Oxford or much further afield and set up shop for the afternoon or evening — there really is no more worthwhile way to spend your time.