Fun has been put down once more at Jesus College this week, after the JCR fulfilled their commitment to frame a letter of apology commissioned last term.

The letter, written by the perpetrator of an “incriminating stain” on the pool table, was ordered in a motion passed at the JCR meeting in 6th Week of Michaelmas. Acknowledging rumours that the stain was “composed of bodily fluids”, it went on to state that “no JCR member wishes to put their hands in the bodily fluids while playing pool”.

In order to deal with the incident, the motion proposed that the said male should write “a letter of apology to the entire JCR explaining his actions” which “will be framed and placed beside the pool table”.

The anonymous student states in his letter, “The pool table is a piece of equipment that facilitates a multitude of complex, enjoyable and satisfying cue sports, among them pool, snooker and billiards.
“It is not, therefore, an appropriate place for me to deposit two teaspoons of my unborn children.”

Second year Jesus student Declan Clowry, said, “I think it’s good that he had the balls to come clean. I just hope it doesn’t become a cue for more unorthodox potting in the JCR pool room.”

The motion was proposed by Jesus student Max Gordon-Brown, and seconded by Michael Lisanti. The shaming of the students involved was passed with an outright majority, with only one JCR member voting against it.

One Jesus student, who asked to remain anonymous, said that he was “a little bit impressed by the guy. Nobody thought he had it in him”.

Fears of the “death of fun” at Jesus were sparked last term when JCR members fought back against academic initiatives imposed by college authorities by wearing of black armbands to mourn the loss of merriment.

A respected Oxford historian has sparked international debate this week as he urged governments to reconsider what information really needs to be protected in light of WikiLeaks.

Speaking at the World Economic Forum on Wednesday, Timothy Garton Ash, professor of European Studies, said, “Every organisation should think very hard about what it is you really need to protect. You’re probably protecting a whole lot you don’t need to. And then do everything you can to protect that smaller amount.”

He added, “I do not believe that the online world means that there can be no secrecy and everyone will know everything about everyone.”

He spoke at a closed session at the Forum where participants wrestled with the thorny questions surfaced by the explosion of online information and the WikiLeaks phenomenon in particular.

Home Office proposals which would make entering and staying in the UK more difficult for foreign students and their dependents have been declared “disastrous” by leaders in the Higher Education sector.

The changes, which would affect the many international students at Oxford, were highlighted last week by Cherwell.

A report by the UK Border Agency has suggested closing the popular two-year post-study work visa, limiting international students’ ability to work in term time.

Dominic Scott, Chief Executive for the UK Council for International Student Affairs (UKCISA), called the proposals “probably the most radical proposals for a decade, if not a generation.”

Major higher education and international education sector stakeholders have come together this week to object to the government’s proposed changes to the international student visa system ahead of the end of the consultation period on Monday.

Tony Millins, Chief Executive of English UK, commented, “This is a cross-sectoral initiative and the fact that we have come together indicates very strongly how importantly we see this issue.

“In a week that began with the shock economic news that Britain’s economy contracted by half a per cent in the final quarter of last year … I think we need to concentrate on the growth aspects of international education.”

Aaron Porter, President of the NUS, said, “I think it would be an absolute travesty at a time when universities and students are facing unprecedented challenges for an additional, unnecessary and indeed economically counter-productive challenge to be thrown into the mix.

“It wouldn’t just be international students that would lose out from the opportunity of studying in this country, it would lead to a worsening of the experience for all students, both home and international.”

Oxford University has echoed the sentiments expressed by Porter, commenting, “both the UK and the economy will undoubtedly lose some of the best international students, as well as some incredibly skilled people, because of these changes.”

Travel company Scott Dunn have pulled the plug on their sponsorship of the Varsity Ski Trip following revelations about student antics in the Valley Rally competition.

Scott Dunn awarded the winners of the trip’s Valley Rally a free 5-star skiing holiday in Austria, but were alarmed to find out that the competitors had participated in a variety of dubious challenges in order to win.

Activities witnessed as part of the competition included smashing an egg “in the most imaginative manner possible”, posing for pictures whilst naked and covered in pasta sauce and chocolate and eating “yellow snow” in front of large crowds of people.

A high proportion of students dropped out of the competition, which had been hailed as “a great afternoon on the slopes” on the Varsity twentyten website, upon seeing what the challenges would involve.
The top three prizes all went to Oxford teams, with the eventual champions all coming from St Anne’s.

One of the winners told Cherwell, “I think I may have got hypothermia but it was definitely worth it,” whilst another said, “I sold my dignity for a free holiday”.

In a statement to The Sunday Telegraph, the travel company said, “Scott Dunn recently learnt of reported bad behaviour by some of the participants of the Varsity Trip’s Valley Rally.

“Scott Dunn in no way endorses any of the inappropriate behaviour reported.”

They continued, “The organisers of the Valley Rally and Varsity Trip did not inform Scott Dunn of the nature of the challenges throughout the negotiations for sponsorship.

“Scott Dunn will be honouring the prize as per our agreement but will have no future involvement in the Varsity Trip and Valley Rally.”

St Anne’s students are also facing repercussions within their college. The Dean has requested to see all St Anne’s students who went on the Varsity trip next week in order to discuss the behaviour of those involved.

The combined Oxbridge trip took place in December in the Val Thorens resort in France. The trip was also notable for a coach crash involving many Oxford students on their way to the Alps.

12 fearless students from St Edmund Hall will brave the infamous “Tough Guy” competition this Sunday.

With claims to being the most physically demanding assault course in the world, eight students will be joining 6,900 other competitors from over 25 countries who will head to Stratfordshire to battle it out for the title of “Tough Guy of the Year”.

“Tough Guy” has seen the death of two competitors and participants are required to sign an “official death warrant” acknowledging the threat to their lives as they battle to win the ultimate badge of machismo.

The race involves running through high-pressure hoses and barbed wire fences, jumping over fire-pits, wading through ice-cold, murky lakes and sewage pipes and running through fields of stinging nettles amongst other feats of bravado.

Only a third of competitors complete the race each year but according to Billy Wilson, organiser of the race, no one as ever completed the challenge as per all his regulations.

Adam Jordan, a Blues Hockey player at Teddy Hall, will lead a team of 12 Oxford students as well as his brother Michael Jordan. He has undertaken the challenge twice before.

“Second time round I was taken off the course by paramedics with hypothermia, so for me it’s a revenge attempt,” he said. “I thought I’d drag a few others along with me to give it a shot.”

“We’re not doing it to prove our manhood. We do have one person running with a heart condition, but he is built like an ox and has a mind of steel so I’m confident he’ll do well.

“The main risks for us are broken bones. The assault course offers some decent heights and with water involved in the course it becomes slippery, people break or dislocate legs and arms all the time but you’re unlikely to die from this: the main danger for us is hypothermia.”

Maria Higson, a third year at Teddy Hall, commented, “I originally had no intention whatsoever of doing ‘Tough Guy’, as it sounds like my idea of absolute hell. But when my friend Adam suggested it to me he used those fatal words ‘it’s for charity’.”

Women like Maria make up just one in ten of competitors undertaking Tough Guy. “I think Tough Guy is designed for people who just want a challenge to see how far they can physically push themselves… The women are pretty determined however, and there is definite competition!”

The Teddy Hallers have been training hard since last term in order to complete the assault-course challenge. They also did a sponsored ice bath in the College’s front quad.

Jordan said, “We have done long runs, circuit training with sand bags, tyres and jerry cans full of water, and most importantly cold water training: wading through the shallows of the punting river and swimming the width of the main river even when ice was building up at the edge!”

Higson commented, “I don’t think any of us are thinking about winning… getting to the finishing line would be a huge achievement!”

Alex Michie, a friend of the group registered his support. “I think it’s a really admirable endeavour. They are putting in considerable time and effort into training. I hope they all do well and enjoy it and raise lots of money for the RNLI, which is a very worthy cause.”

James Appleton, an ex-Cambridge student, won the title in 2009.

American rock musician Courtney Love treated members of the Oxford University Conservative Association to a lively visit last Sunday.

By the end of the night the celebrity had not only joined the Association, but was also elected as the group’s first ‘Non-Executive Officer for Rock and Roll’.

Students departing from the evening’s Union debate were surprised to find Love in the Goodman Library. “I thought some people were going to faint,” said Trinity PPEist Joseph Gold-Ochsner.

The event covered many topics. During a discussion of foreign policy, Love claimed that Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has made romantic overtures to her and offered to try and exercise leverage over his oil export policy on behalf of Britain and the US.

Love was in possession of a walking stick which she claimed to have once belonged to Sir Winston Churchill. As the event got underway Love stipulated that whoever intended to speak should be in possession of the item.

Joe Cooke, OUCA President-Elect, said that despite incessant lobbying for Love to donate the cane to the society, “she insisted that it was for P Diddy’s birthday.”

Adi Balachander, a History student at St Anne’s, sat next to Love throughout most of the night. “I found her to be a very friendly person. She was quite happy to find so many young people interested in politics,” he said.

The celebrity was said to have been interested in the “Tory culture” and the differences between American and British conservatives.

Love’s visit also attested to her career in rock and roll. As the meeting came to a close Love commended everyone in attendance to climb onto tables and sing the theme tune from ‘Dad’s Army’, also accompanying the young conservatives in their renditions of ‘Jerusalem’ and ‘God Save the Queen’. After the event Love accompanied students to the King’s Arms.

Joe Cooke does not believe any one in attendance will forget the night soon. He told Cherwell, “I was shocked to find a rock star in our midst.”

OUCA President Henry Evans was notified earlier in the day by the Union that Love wished to attend OUCA’s weekly ‘Port and Policy’ event. The celebrity was reportedly in Oxford visiting a friend, enjoying a day of pheasant shooting and looking for property in Oxfordshire.

Love spoke at the Oxford Union last year. Her talk focussed on relationships and spirituality.

A former chef at Worcester College was sentenced to 10 months in prison last Friday, after an ‘unprovoked attack’ on a homosexual couple.

According to evidence presented to Oxford Crown Court, Ashton Soloman-Cameron, 19, was caught on CCTV in the midst of a violent drunken outburst after mistakenly believing that businessmen Scott and Jason Davenport had racially insulted him.

In the CCTV footage shown to the Court, Soloman-Cameron punches and stamps on Scott Davenport repeatedly, causing him to suffer cuts, bruises and two chipped teeth.

Jason Davenport is undergoing physiotherapy for a fractured ankle. Witnesses reported seeing Solomon-Cameron walk away from the scene of the attack, after being called by his girlfriend.

Soloman-Cameron pleaded guilty to counts of GBH and ABH and was sentenced to 10 months in a young offender’s institution, half of which will be spent in custody.

The victims were on their way to meet a friend in Oxford in the early hours of October 10th. Rachel Drakes, lawyer for the prosecution, told the court, ‘Jason Davenport called to Scott, referring to him as ‘black man’ as he was wearing a black coat.

‘The defendant inferred it as a racial insult. Both Messrs Davenports were conciliatory and offered to shake his hand, but he punched one of them, Jason, who falls to the ground.’

The 19-year-old has previous convictions as a juvenile for battery and public order offences. He had been working as a chef at Worcester College since September, joining on a one-year contract which was extended to a permanent one.

Defending her client, Lucy Tapper remarked, ‘It’s a horrible, horrible incident and nobody would be more prepared to admit that than Soloman-Cameron, but it does come out of character.’

She added, ‘It’s surprising, perhaps, seeing that degree of unprovoked violence from somebody who doesn’t have a violent nature’, and described Soloman-Cameron as ‘quiet, polite and clearly hard-working’.

Whilst some students at Worcester were reluctant to comment on the case, the Food & Bar Rep, George Pidgeon commented, ‘I think the general consensus of the JCR committee is that although this is obviously an unfortunate incident, it is clearly a one-off, and one which we hope will not recur in the future.

‘We were not aware of previous convictions, however I personally do not feel that we really should have been.

‘The JCR does not run the recruitment process, the college does, and it is one that seems generally to work very well.’

However some Worcester students expressed their surprise that someone working for their college has been convicted for such an offence.

On sentencing Soloman-Cameron, Judge Patrick Eccles said, ‘You are bringing misery and shame upon yourself, and you have brought hardship to your family and, more importantly, the victims.

‘You have affected the future of the two victims in a serious way. It was a very nasty attack.’

Detective Constable Iain Spencer, who investigated the incident, said, ‘These two men…were attacked for no apparent reason by the offender who was highly intoxicated.

‘I hope this sentence demonstrates that drunken, loutish, behaviour will not be tolerated in the city.’

When contacted by Cherwell, Worcester’s Catering Manager, Stuart McAllister, said, ‘With reference to any staff and personnel matters we decline to comment.’