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Brasenose head in expenses leak

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A report leaked to Cherwell this week revealed doubts over claims for travel expenses made by Brasenose Principal Professor Roger Cashmore and his wife.

A college finance committee addressed travel expenses incurred over the past five years by the Principal, his wife, and the previous Director of Development, Mrs Robin Sharp.

The report is a summary of a dossier where much of the correspondence is marked “Confidential” or “Strictly confidential”.

The Sub-Committee include details of several travel expenses claimed by the Principal which were thought to warrant closer scrutiny.

Of a trip to Pakistan in November 2005, which was “funded mainly by the college”, the report raises “serious doubts” as to whether this trip was in fact made on College business.

The Principal attended three Brasenose receptions in Pakistan, and the report states that “circumstances point in the direction” that the main purpose of the trip was conference attendance.

But costs had already been reimbursed by the conference organisers. The report claims that the Principal “tagged on some college business” in order to use enhanced rates, at a cost of nearly £1700 to the college.

The report also notes “the high cost of the ticket” for the Principal’s journey to the North American Reunion in April 2004 and a lack of clarity over “who authorised [the] expenses” for his travel.

It states that “no authorisation seems to have been given” for a trip to North America in 2007 and a “Visit to Greece” in 2008, where in both cases the Principal flew business class and costs were met by the college.
According to the report, the College paid for transport by taxi to and from Heathrow airport on at least two occasions, despite the fact that the University rules state that this may only be done in exceptional circumstances. The report says, “No justification for the existence of such circumstances has been given”.

In addition to these allegations against the Principal, the report also claims misuse of travel expenses on the part of the Principal’s wife.

College policy of reimbursement of travel expenses explicitly refers to “members of College” or “college employees obliged to travel during their duties”.
However, the report reveals that prior to July 2008, the College “routinely met the travel expenses of the Principal’s wife” even though “such expenditure had never been expressly authorised”.

In one case, authorisation was expressly denied but the trip in question still went ahead.

The Committee did not authorise reimbursement for a trip to the United States in September 2009, on the basis that it was contrary to College guidelines. Despite this ruling, the report reveals that the Principal’s wife travelled to the United States in September 2009, and the college paid for this.

The Principal justified the reimbursement of his wife’s travel expenses on the grounds that his wife is a “very active member of the College” as she provides a “focal point for the women students” and arranges “receptions, dinner and drinks” for students, fellows and alumni.
The report understands that the Bursar “tacitly agreed” with the College meeting the Principal’s wife’s travel expenses.

The report concluded that it was “impossible” to be confident that University rules regarding travel expenses were adhered to. However, the Principal said that “[a]ll of the travel that I and my wife have been involved in has always conformed to [the University’s] rules”.
Both the Bursar and the Principal of Brasenose were approached by Cherwell but were unavailable for comment. The Principal was away.

 

Review: Iris Murdoch, a writer at war

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You’ve got a lot in common with Iris Murdoch. You’re in Oxford, probably studying here – as she did – and you’re reading the same Cherwell that Iris read. There’s a good chance you fancy yourself as a bit of a writer, or actor, or philosopher. But there’s something you don’t have in common: you’re not here as a world war breaks out. Your male friends will not be conscripted half way through their degrees, and you’re not worrying about how you can best be of use to the war effort after graduating.

I’ve always loved the film Iris: it places her wild Oxford life against her decline and eventual death from Alzheimer’s, and it has always moved me. I’ll admit that I’ve never made it through one of the acclaimed novels that she wrote in the middle of her life, but I was keen to read this collection of her letters and diaries and to get a feel for who Iris was as herself, at a similar stage in her life to where I am in mine.
A diary, written in the summer of 1939 as Iris toured Oxfordshire with a student theatre group, revealed much of life as an Oxford student 70 years ago. Not much has changed. Iris is frequently at the theatre before breakfast, works straight through the day, and often doesn’t find time for meals. Sound familiar? Her first set of letters are written to Frank Thompson, who studied at Oxford, left to join the war effort and was killed in June 1944. Our little problems and crises seem, suddenly, rather insignificant in comparison. As Iris observes, ‘we have so many urgent little problems of our own, that we have not time to look up and see the gathering clouds’. Her gathering clouds, of course, told of a coming war rather than an impending essay crisis.

And yet, serious as the situation was, she evidently retained a sense of humour, and her writing becomes increasingly to the point as she matures. She declares with cutting abruptness that ‘I should tell you that I have parted company with my virginity’ and – my favourite – ‘Darling the mice have been eating your letters’. She writes to Frank on a typewriter that she doesn’t get on with, despite ‘the lovely surprise when it does something wild and irresponsible on you like missing a letter or starting to write in red!’. The highlight of Frank’s replies (not including the fascinating accounts of his time abroad, obviously) is an impromptu lesson in modern Greek, featuring the charmingly irreverent translation of ‘What is that? That is a cat. Is that cat wild? No, he’s very docile’.

From the beginning of the book, we follow Iris growing from a naive undergraduate into a young woman genuinely very excited at the prospect of becoming a wife. In the second set of correspondance, with David Hicks, the impression given is one of unrequited love: the few letters that David did write in reply to Iris aren’t included in the book. In November 1945, having been apart for nearly seven years, the pair had a brief fling in London and became engaged. As they’re sent back to work in Europe, Iris writes regularly, only to receive a message in February calling the whole thing off. Her dignity shines through in her short, guarded reply to David’s rejection. ‘I don’t seem to have a real gift for making you happy, and others have it, that’s that.’
No doubt when you’ve finished reading this review you’ll immediately rush out and buy the book. But just in case you get distracted on your way, here’s what to take from it: we’re lucky to be alive now, and not in the time that Iris experienced. Follow your dreams – if you want to write, write until somebody reads it. And have a romantic correspondence – it’ll be fun and, who knows? Someday somebody might want to review your letters.

 

‘Iris Murdoch: A Writer at War’ by Peter J. Conradi is published by Short Books, RRP £16.99

A summer of literary love

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The image of the stuffy literature festival composed of old ladies sitting in a village hall listening to some dried-up poet recounting tales from their glory days, is long gone. Nowadays so much more is required: audiences expect to be galvanised and stimulated, there are workshops and debates, and the locations of festivals have gone from dowdy to dandy in one fell swoop. And mainstream music festivals are getting in on the act, as well. Don’t fancy seeing Dizzee or Snoop at Glasto? Go and join in the poetry slam instead. Here is our guide to the best literary events happening around the UK this summer.

Secret Garden Party

With a website that quotes Calvin insisting that ‘Happiness isn’t good enough for me; I demand euphoria’, 2010’s Secret Garden Party promises to be as crazy as previous years, cementing its position as a big player on the boutique festival scene. The theme is ‘Fact or Fiction’ – and it’s easy to imagine that the lines could easily become blurred over the course of a weekend in the idyllic, eccentric atmosphere which attempts to create a microcosm of the perfect creative community. If you fancy a few days of free-loving and impossibly groovy decadence, this is the festival for you. The line-up is a closely guarded secret, but expect plenty of avant-garde talks, strange but wonderful theatre, and crackpots waxing lyrical on lunar phases or the demolition of self through uroboric incest. 22nd-25th July, www. secretgardenparty.com

Hay Party

Pack your hunter wellies and some champagne for this chic, highbrow literary festival which takes place in the beautiful town of Hay-On-Wye in Wales. Expect serious discussions with heavyweight authors and political commentators followed by interesting conversations, browsing around Hay’s many bookshops and boutiques and some cosy publife. Peter Florence, the festival’s founder, says, ‘We prefer uncompromised seriousness of content, followed by robust partying and dancing to the world’s hippest music. DJs and comedians should be hip. Writers are profound, funny and articulate.’ This year’s line-up includes Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, Kasuo Ishiguro, Ed Miliband, Alain de Botton and Lynn Barber. 27th May-6th June, hayfestival.com

Port Eliot Festival

Now in its seventh year, Port Eliot is set in the grounds of one of Cornwall’s most beautiful stately homes.The festival attracts a crowd who want to party just as much as they want to feed their minds. If you can brave the hoardes of mosquitoes, you’re in for a rollicking good weekend of laughter, delicious food, amazing dressing-up courtesy of Luella Bartley and Biba-founder Barbara Hulanicki, and exciting stumbles upon breathtaking views of the estuary or some lovely little folly. Stars this year are Hanif Kureishi, Tom Hodgkinson, Alexander Waugh and Sarah Waters, among many others. Save some energy for Saturday night’s dancefest with Gaz Mayall’s ‘Rockin’ Blues’ and Queens of Noize. 23rd-25th July, portelioitfestival.com

Latitude Festival

For one weekend only, a park in Suffolk becomes a boho haven and the venue for one of the summer’s coolest festivals. A mixed programme includes some of the best live music around, as well as a hefty dose of other cultural pursuits. Expect girls in fairy wings wafting around the many stages while trendy hipsters munch on organic falafel, some excellent dancing opportunities courtesy of Florence+The Machine, Vampire Weekend and The Coral, and plenty of heated discussion. It’s worth the ticket price alone for Bret Easton Ellis – a member of the Brat Pack and acclaimed author of American Psycho. Other big draws include Sebastian Faulks, Julie Burchill, Wendy Cope, John Stammers and Blake Morrison. If you have any energy left, there’s also comedy, theatre and cabaret. 15th-18th July, latitudefestival.com

LOL? I nearly ROFLed

It was a dark, miserable night in the third week of Michaelmas that we trudged over to the Wheatsheaf for our first taste of Oxford’s comedic offerings. Being dragged by an overly-enthusiastic fresher to see the Oxford Imps and with only thoughts of essays and sleep in my head, I wasn’t expecting much from a city where all conversations seemed to revolve around hours spent in the library that week and A-Level results. Two hours later, I was beginning to change my mind. You see, it turns out little old Oxford isn’t just libraries and tourists buying hideously overpriced hoodies. Oxford is really rather funny. When replies to what our friends thought of the Oxford comedy scene were ‘what scene?’, we set out to talk to the best that Oxford had to offer. Because while most students have heard of the Imps and the Oxford Revue, there’s a lot more going on for people to indulge in.

‘Oxford has a great mix of comedy’, Imp Jamie Cooke enthuses, ‘You have stand-ups like Ivo Graham, the Revue doing sketches, improvised comedy like us, and comic plays like Turn Again Lane’. The formula for the Imps is pretty simple – you give them a word and they turn it into a scene. ‘The weirder the word, the better,’ Jamie continues. ‘When we were in Edinburgh last year, there was a little boy who gave us the word ‘toothbrush’. When we asked for something a bit different, he came back with ‘the fifth circle of hell’. That made for some pretty inventive comedy. But the best words are ones that some people in the group don’t know; there was a game a couple of weeks ago when an American Imp had to guess the Elgin Marbles. I don’t think even I would have guessed the Elgin Marbles’. ‘It’s family-friendly comedy,’ Ali Hall adds. ‘It doesn’t make a joke funny just to have swearing as the punch-line.’ He’s right, just with their brains, a word and some pretty serious raw comic talent, each week the Imps offer hilarious funny and totally original comedy. What makes it even more amazing is that it is all completely improvised. ‘We rehearse for three hours in the week and warm up for two hours before the show, but what you see on stage is completely new for us and the audience’. With a mixture of games, musical numbers and rap battles, and for only £3.50 for two hours, it’s easy to see why the Imps are at the forefront of the Oxford comedy scene.

But perhaps students are looking for something with a bit more history. The Oxford Revue was founded by Michael Palin in the early 1950s and, with alumni including Rowan Atkinson, Armando Ianucci, Angus Deyton and Richard Curtis, its legacy makes it more prominent. The Revue’s name was thrust back into the limelight recently with ex-Revue member Matt Lacey and his YouTube hit ‘Gap Yah’. ‘Oxford is very good for comedy but you have to look hard to find it’ says Ollie Mann, the group’s current president. But with the Revue maybe this isn’t the case; their most recent show The Oxford Revue and Friends, featuring the Durham Revue and the Cambridge Footlights, packed the Playhouse and time and time again people flock to see their mix of quirky, sharp and energetic sketches. ‘Imp Comedy is engaging because its improvised, however, with sketch comedy you have the opportunity to make the sketch as funny as possible and you don’t have the case of ‘Oh I wish I said that, that would have been funnier’. We meet as a group and brainstorm our ideas, but each sketch will have a different style depending on who wrote it’. With sketch comedy every scene is different so you can be guaranteed a laugh, especially if you go to the Revue’s shows where they choose only their best and most polished sketches. ‘We put on shows at the Wheatsheaf to try out new material and see whether it works, and that’s where we try out the students auditioning to join us’. Ollie is certain about one thing – they aren’t about to make their show family friendly.

‘Primarily, we do what we love and that produces the best comedy’. But it’s not only the Revue keeping people entertained, a new sketch comedy group Little Dark has just emerged on the scene, and following a successful show at the Burton Taylor, they seem ready to rival the Revue for the place of Oxford’s kings of sketch comedy.
Dark horses on the Oxford comedy scene are the stand-ups. ‘It’s the purest form of comedy,’ says Ivo Graham, ‘but in Oxford it’s far from being an institution. You wouldn’t want to start out in comedy here, but people obviously want it.’ Ivo incidentally won the So You Think You’re Funny? award at last year’s Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and runs a packed stand-up comedy night ‘Ministry of Mirth’ twice a term at the Wheatsheaf. Ivo, Chris Turner and Rory O’ Keeffe are just some of the comedians working Oxford’s circuit at the moment. ‘There aren’t many nights especially for stand-up comedy, so you have to do college events and just try and get your name out there,’ Chris comments. ‘Also Paddy Luscombe runs the ‘The Free Beer Show’ on Mondays at The Cellar, where there is always a well-known headlining act and then student comedy afterwards’. There is stand-up comedy out there in Oxford if you know where to look for it, and there’s some to suit every taste. Rory describes himself appropriately as funny; Chris describes himself as witty; and Ivo as rambling. But having spent an evening with these three, we can definitely assure you that they’re highly amusing (although Rory did try to argue that ‘there’s a fine line between a serial killer and a comedian’).

So much great comedy is on in Oxford; all it needs is people to seek it out. An evening of comedy is going to cheer you infinitely more than that chocolate muffin if you have an essay looming, and definitely perk you up more than that third espresso. So put on a comedy night at your college or spend an evening with Oxford’s finest. If you can’t catch them in Oxford, show your support if you’re at the Edinburgh Fringe this summer – catch the Imps, Racing Minds (a group of ex-Imps), the Revue and Ivo all doing shows. If you don’t, you’ll never know what you’re missing out on.

Review: Closet Land

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Burton Taylor, 1st-5th June, 7.30pm
Verdict: Thought-provoker

Inspired by politically minded author-director Radha Bharadwaj’s cult debut film, Closet Land makes for a disconcerting and challenging theatre experience. Commissioned in the early nineties by Amnesty International, the piece tackles political ideology, corrupt interrogation procedure, torture and sexual abuse.

As heavily laden with uncomfortable themes as it is, such a script would pose a challenge to any actor: Adam Scott Taylor and Olivia Charlton-Jones, directed by Matthew Perkins, rise to the occasion in this psychologically intense two-hander. He, the interrogator, and She, the prisoner, a

re alone onstage for the entirety of the play, locked in a bleak, nameless chamber.

The charge? Sedition. A children’s author has written the titular Closet Land, believed to be an allegorical attack on the state.

The disorienting claustrophobia suffered by the blindfolded Author is brought to life through the production’s sparse, dark design and simple black and white costume. The Author’s experience is personalised by original artwork by Vanessa Carr projected onstage, making explicit the possible dual interpretation of Closet Land as both universal parable, and individual study of the Author and Interrogator’s relationship. Josh Lowe’s minimalist score adds menacing depth to scenes of particular dramatic climax.

Adam Scott Taylor displays an impressive capacity for physicality in his assumption of a broad spectrum of threatening split-personalities; switching from the mindless smile of an implacable bureaucrat to the violent tics of a deranged ideological fanatic as he browbeats, psychologically torments, and eventually physically tortures his ward.
Olivia Charlton-Jones’ performance is equally accomplished in its multiplicity, combining gracefully the Author’s composed, dignified facade with an occasional glimpse of the fear, pain and self-doubt evidently bubbling below the surface.

Ever provocative and at times distressing, Closet Land is an emotionally draining, yet thoroughly watchable production. Not for the faint hearted.

Review: Rent

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Keble O’Reilly,
2nd-5th June, 7.30pm

Verdict: toe-tapping fun

With the UK rights to Rent having only just been released, director, Adam Baghdadi loses no time in mounting one of the first student productions of this dynamic rock musical. Set in Manhattan’s bohemian Alphabet City, the story follows a group of struggling young artists living under the shadow of HIV/AIDS. Baghdadi and musical director Nick Pritchard have kept true to the time- and location-specific script in its entirety, and Rent features a staggering forty-two musical numbers.

The intimacy of the piece will be translated through the use of the performance space: the balcony of the Keble O’Reilly will host a six piece band as well as actors.

The vibrancy of the music is well matched in impressive choreography and use of space. The stage is usually busy with atmospheric tableaux, the juxtaposition of which nicely individualises rousing canonical sequences. Innovative costume design encapsulates the 90s grunge mood, with one principal’s fairy light hemmed Santa’s helper outfit one to watch in particular.

The all-singing, all-dancing, all-acting chorus are uniformly strong, lending support to the leads through their energy and enthusiasm, and heightening the power of the show-stopping numbers to spine-tingling crescendos. The principal cast members are equally impressive: described by Baghdadi as ‘bizarrely suited to their parts’, they are evidently having a ball onstage and their sense of fun is infectious. The musical’s pathos is well elicited by an endearing performance from James Carroll as Mark, while the humour, as well as dramatic poignancy, is well captured by Marcel Miller’s Collins, and Cassie Barraclough’s vulnerable Mimi.

Emily Gill-Heginbotham and Ed Pearce, as Maureen and Joanne respectively, are a delight to watch. Pearce’s nuanced, thoroughly watchable performance is excellently matched by bubbly Gill-Heginbotham’s bombastic gusto.

While Joanne’s ‘Tango: Maureen’ is certainly one to watch, as is the rousing act one finale ‘La Vie Boheme’ which promises to get those feet tapping and hands clapping. Its catchy hook and lyrics, coupled with its accompanying table-top character roll-call is the most accessible musical moment for the jazz-hands inexperienced of you in the audience, as Rent is an intensely music led piece.

Despite one shyed-away-from gay kiss, the musical’s message of tolerance and the excitement of youth is one relevant in particular to a student audience. It will be interesting to see the reaction to its first production in Oxford University, where ‘struggling young artists’ jostle to compete with the silver-spooned set. But a really good musical well done can transport its audience away from the theatre, and the stresses of Oxford living, to a glossy, glamorous escape, and one with more dance routines than you can shake a stick at.

Remainders of a revolution

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The Time That Remains
Release: 28th May
Director: Elia Suleiman
Starring: Elia Suleiman, Saleh Bakri, Samar Tanus

Verdict: Quietly thought-provoking. Sometimes a little too quiet.

There are some films that you fall in love with straight away, some that take time to grow, and some you fall out of love with as you get further in. Somewhat bizarrely, The Time That Remains could be described as falling into all three categories. This has something to do with the level of personality that director Elia Suleiman pours into the semi-autobiographical film, and the level of personal engagement that he expects in return.

To describe the plot is difficult because nominally this is a film about the creation of the State of Israel and the subsequent 60 years. But this is used less as a plot point and becomes instead as much a part of the backdrop as the beautiful Israeli landscape. So if it’s not a grand moralising narrative on the creation of Israel what is The Time That Remains? At its heart we find a kitchen-sink drama; the relationship of one family in episodic form. The reasons for the style of narrative are most likely the sources from which Suleiman took his script; adapted by himself it comprises his father’s diary, his mother’s correspondences and his own memories.

The story comes in four parts with the first showing Suleiman’s (played by himself) return to Israel after exile. The second shows his father (Saleh Bakri) as a young man resisting the Israeli Army; in the third, his mother’s (Samar Tanus) letters reveal how everyone is trying to adapt to life under the new authorities, and the final part returns to the present day where Suleiman looks at what remains of the world he left behind.
The direction of the film is beautiful; every shot has a symmetry and richness that could have been lifted from a National Geographic editorial. There is also a consistent and often all consuming silence, culminating in the extremely sparse use of dialogue in the final section. Suleiman is a director known for embracing background noise (or the lack thereof) in a script and while at first this provides an opportunity to absorb the rich landscape of the film it must be admitted that by the end it had become frustrating.

Saleh Bakri shines in a performance contrasting a young revolutionary and an old beaten man. And Suleiman’s own performance is measured and thoughtful if a little hard to get your head around. Overall The Time That Remains is a film that will make audiences think about a situation without having an ideology shoved down their throats. What Suleiman presents is the heart of his heritage and you are left with a true appreciation of another human’s condition.

The magic motion man

If, when you think of animation, your mind jumps to talking animals, family-friendly viewing and light entertainment, then you probably haven’t seen the work of Adam Elliot. Because if you had, you would associate the art of animation with multi-dimensional characters, mature subject matter and dark comedy.

Since 1996, Adam Elliot has been independently writing and directing stop-motion animation shorts and films in his own distinct style. His work immediately stands out from other animation with its imperfect and somewhat lumpy aesthetic, a style that Elliot terms ‘chunky-wonky’. He explains that this visual style comes from a physiological tremor which makes his hands shake and his ‘drawings slightly wobbly’. These drawings are then carefully transformed into the clay figures of which Elliot’s cinematic world is composed. What follows is the painstaking and expensive process of stop-motion animation which creates the finished product; it is a notoriously difficult and lengthy method, particularly when compared to the computer-based techniques available but, as Elliot points out, ‘good things take time’.

And if the widespread critical acclaim that Elliot has received is anything to go by, the time and effort has certainly been worthwhile. Elliot notably won an Oscar for his short film, Harvie Krumpet; a bittersweet tale which follows the title character as he deals with Tourette’s syndrome, alcohol and a late discovery of the benefits of nudism. This Oscar is one of a plethora of awards that Elliot has earned, but when asked about the importance of these accolades, he compares them to ‘bottles of wine – you feel good for a few days but you wake up with a hangover. They’re nice but they don’t make you happy.’

In addition to the Tourette’s syndrome in Harvie Krumpet, Elliot’s other creations include characters with Cerebral Palsy and Asperger’s syndrome. His central characters might tend to have disorders to deal with but Elliot is intent on not labelling them as ‘disabled’. Instead, he explains that his work deals with ‘people who are marginalized’ and he hopes that his portrayals of these individuals are authentic enough to ‘make the audience forget they’re watching at animated film. I want them to empathise [with characters] that just happen to be made out of plasticine.’
And perhaps this ability to imbue clay figures with human traits is helped by Elliot’s reliance on autobiographical material as his subject matter. The male lead in his first feature film Mary and Max was voiced by Phillip Seymour Hoffman and was inspired by Elliot’s long term New York pen pal who has Asperger’s syndrome. However, Elliot reiterates that his films are primarily pieces of fiction and that he never ‘lets the truth get in the way of a good story’.

As an independent film-maker Elliot is aware that his ability to give voice to these stories is reliant on the success of his previous work. He describes his Oscar as a ‘golden crowbar’ and explains that the best part of any award is that they make it easier to start new projects. Elliot is intent on writing and directing his own work (a determination he attributes to the animator’s need for control) and he hopes to continue making work that is free from external influences. His next project will be another feature film; a medium which he feels fortunate to work with. ‘I never thought I’d get the opportunity to make [a feature]…and as long as I’m allowed to make these pictures, I’ll be trying to make them.’ For the sake of animation, film-lovers, and cinema in general, let’s hope that’s a long time.

The college dropouts

Edwin Congreave, keyboardist for Foals, has been told that I’m reporting for Oxford Brookes. When I inform him that I’m from Cherwell, his eyes light up as if I’m Louis Theroux.

But his reaction is misleading – he has no time for Oxford University, which he left after one year spent studying English Literature at St Hugh’s. He explains in predictable terms that he ‘didn’t yet know what direction my life was headed. I needed some time to figure it all out… and Indie Soc was shit.’ Two years later, his life took an unforeseen turn when he was asked by friend and fellow Oxford drop-out Yannis Philippakis to join his new band Foals as keyboardist, despite never having played a keyboard before. ‘I’m still fitting in’, he says.

Edwin and Yannis may both have abandoned their English Literature studies, but a high-flown poetic sensibility informs their songwriting. During recording sessions for their new album, Yannis predicted that the finished product would sound ‘like the dream of an eagle dying’ (it doesn’t).

I suggest that the band have an air of academia, even pretentiousness; but Edwin has his own ideas about what makes a band pretentious. ‘Academic maybe, but we’re not pretentious, because we believe in what we preach. Swans was a pretentious band, as was Nirvana, with the nihilism.’ As I struggle to think of better evidence of Kurt Cobain’s sincerity than his suicide, Edwin adds, ‘The eagle comment was a joke’.
The band’s second album Total Life Forever, released last week, is not the ball of energy that the title promises. Eschewing the hysteria of 2008 debut Antidotes, it takes half a step towards the sonic grandeur of Radiohead before succumbing to drowsiness. This leaves room for gorgeous melodies and blurry textures that were nowhere to be heard on Antidotes. Yet Edwin is quick to dismiss my favourite minute of the album, the Krautrock-esque interlude ‘Fugue’: ‘That was just [guitarist] Jimmy pissing about. It doesn’t indicate the direction we’re taking.’ Again, he doesn’t know what direction the band is taking – but this time he’s not planning on dropping out.

He is however clear on where the band comes from. ‘The German dance bands of the 70s, like Can and Neu, were a big influence… Talking Heads too. Talking Heads not only influenced loads of bands, but those bands became very influential themselves. [Talking Heads] are at the top of this network of genres, and they were experimental too.’ Foals certainly take after Talking Heads in picking wacky, pseudo-intellectual subject matter (‘This Orient’, from the new album, draws on the concept of Orientalism). More pertinently, funk and surf rock were the sounds behind Total Life Forever. Sly & The Family Stone can be heard in the album’s deep, languid basslines.
Wearing such eclectic influences on their sleeves, Foals try hard to stay aloof from the indie scene. Edwin insists that they don’t in fact belong to any scene, and when I ask to what extent the band deliberately creates its own media image, he immediately retorts, ‘What’s our image?’. He even spurns NME, the magazine that has given his band two cover features: ‘They tend to focus on one band at a time and hype them up… I don’t like that.’ It’s maybe for this reason that Foals haven’t followed the pattern set by their contemporaries. They don’t go for Johnny Borrell’s brand of quote-friendly arrogance, they don’t wear drainpipes, and they’re unlikely to explode in a Libertines-style cocaine supernova any time soon.

Creaming Spires

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My friend has a ‘sex outfit’. I haven’t actually seen it, you understand, but I envisage something black/purple/pink that bring her tits under the chin and her thong up to her armpits. That sort of thing. The idea of this disturbed me initially. I had an image of her mother inspecting layers of semen stained nylon in search of washing instructions. Shudder.

But then I began to think. I mean, I can’t be the only girl whose bop costume has turned into a bit of a sex outfit post-party. If I’ve spent that long trying to find a way to make a Noah’s Ark theme slutty I’m going to make the most of it, right? As la Lohan says in Mean Girls, ‘Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it’. Hey, in Oxford it’s like that every week.

After all, as my housemate tells me, Nala is the sexiest Disney princess, and she’s just a lion with eyelashes. Weird. If you‘ve ever been to Queerbop you know a bit of costume sends people wild. But maybe the giant penis shaped bucking bronco had something to do with all those pheromones flying around as well.

All of us dress up for sex to a certain extent though, even if it’s just making sure those aren’t the pants with the suspect stain on the gusset. I decided to go that extra mile this weekend however, and try not just to be clean, but to be a bit sexy too. The obvious place to go was Ann Summers, and after a trying-on session with a friend that was much less sexy than I’d rather you imagined (I found crumbs from a sandwich I’d eaten for lunch in my bra, she may have broken wind, enough said) I came out one ‘sex outfit’ the richer.

Tits under the chin, thong up to the armpits, the whole shebang. And it was great. When I imagined how I looked as I was having sex (shut up, you all do it) I felt a bit like Nicole Kidman a la Moulin Rouge, but crucially neither vaguely androgynous nor, ahem, ginger. I feel like I’ve opened a ‘sex outfit’ floodgate, I never want to wear anything else again, ever.

Why wear cotton pants when you can have see through ones? Why opt for comfy knickers when you can have a permanent wedgie? (Incidentally, why are thongs sexy but wedgies aren’t? You‘d have thought it was the same principle.) I’ll see where this discovery takes me. Sadly, my suspicion is that 24/7 sexiness is an impossibility for someone who finds crumbs in their bra.