Sunday 8th June 2025
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Review: The Bald Primadonna

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This play is absurd, and the actors directors and audience are allowed to wallow happily in all that absurdity, to engage with it, and ultimately enjoy it.

Ionesco’s famous play, both ridiculous and rewarding, creates a unique mélange of the downright bizarre and the overtly intellectual; whether you are there to giggle at two smartly dressed English couples hurling nonsensical statements at one another, or to be presented with Wittgenstein’s ideas about the meaning of words and communication, this is the play for you. You can even do both if you like.

The acting is superb all the way through, Fiona McKenzi being particularly good as the noxiously saccharine Mrs. Smith, and Alex Midha puts on a wonderful display as her husband (both pictured right). The pair is balanced by Tom Coates and Arabella Milbank as the Martins. Typical English couples immersed in a pointedly atypical world, they all four capture the brutal human tendency to rationalize desperately, while, verging on panic, they acknowledge the steady crumble of reality around themselves.

An especial treat is Julia Effertz as the nurse, Mary. She cuts a sinister figure, utterly grotesque in the prim and proper parlour of the Smiths, terrifying the stereotypical English couples for whom she works. Hearing Mrs. Smith querulously tell Mary, a barely restrained force of nature, to ‘pop along now’, captures much of the combination of absurdity and humour in which this play excels.

Undercurrents of hatred and sexual violence run through the play, supporting and emphasizing the main themes. Each character is a slave not only to the social constraints in which they are enmeshed, but also to the raw, primitive needs which those constraints attempt feebly to control. This is brought to the fore most strongly when the elemental figure of Mary is on stage, breaking down the walls between the acceptable and the unacceptable.

The production manages to achieve admirable balance between these two absurdities. Indeed it is a finely balanced play throughout, the cast clearly enjoying the opportunity to dive head first into the rich material Ionesco has supplied, and which ensures a first- rate experience for the audience.

Of course, the audience is still no nearer to finding out just who the bald primadonna is, and exactly why mention of her inspires such shock in the Smiths and the Martins. But that’s all part of the sense of fun, and the threat of fear.

Theatrical Thrills

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Cold, wet, rainy. A world away. Or midway through Trinity. I’m sure everybody told me that my first Trinity would be full of sun, smiles, and Pimm’s. And plays out in the warm summer rays. But just as those unlucky saps who’ve been induced to row by promises of gleaming tans and buffed muscles are beginning to see the error of their ways, so I discovered that the only plays worth seeing are those safely indoors.

 

I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy the experience of going to the theatre, most importantly when the rain is splashing so hard against the roof you are hit by the back-spary. Safely inside, I had the chance to grab some food. Not quite strawberries and cream in a dreamy college garden, I admit. But popcorn, no matter how egregiously overpriced, pushes all the right buttons.

 

All my friends, huddled up together, crammed in a couple of rows back, began the rituals of pre-theatre chit-chat. Subtly commenting on the audience (the obligatory older man giving a leggy usher the meat stare), grabbing handfuls of each others’ food, and trying to decide whether any of us had ever read the play before.

 

Despite one of my friend’s protestations, we decided that in fact none of us had. It was, after all, a new piece of writing. When we told Sarah this she backed down. Eventaully. The play, Spring Quartets, turned out be incredibly good actually. It was beautifully choreographed, and the use of a large muslin guaze was absolutely stunning. There was an almost palpable feeling of excitment in the air too.

I guess it was the fact that this was a new piece of writing, that it was an new showing.  I cannot help but think, hopeless romantic though I may be, that a similar buzz must have been present at the premiers of so many of my favourite plays. I’m not saying this could be the next Shakespeare, but, well, you never know.

 

About half way through though, Sarah began to shove me in the side. Obviously I put my hand over my nearly finished box of popcorn. This didn’t deter her.
‘Bugger off’, I snarled.
She poked me again.
‘What!’
She stopped bugging me eventually, and the rest of the play passed without so much as a whisper from her.

 

By the time we trailed outside, the rain had stopped. Blessedly. We all gathered together, and wandered slowly down the road, until the the prospect of a warm cafe seduced us all inside.

 

Sarah sat down next to me. We began to discuss the play, the pros and cons, the good and the bad.
‘No, guys. really. I’m sure I’ve read it before’ she said.
Oh Sarah.

Living on the edge of a paper model

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Today I caught a butterfly with my bare hands. Searching for it among scraps of paper, I came across a veritable jungle of origami: lions, roses, dragons, elephants and scorpions tumbled out of Sara Adams’ cardboard box, to crouch on the grass of Wadham gardens.

Sara is head of the Oxford Origami Society, and a student at Exeter College reading Computer Sciences. An origami virgin when she came to Oxford University, Sara quickly learned to love the crease. She now leads paper-folding sessions every Thursday afternoon at Exeter, and really enjoyed displaying the society’s origami at Lincoln college last term. ‘I don’t display the origami in my room, because my room is really small.’

This amiable, auburn-haired graduate is carrying a box spilling over with colourful models. Sara is just the right person to introduce Cherwell’s culture editors to the art of origami. During twenty minutes of painstaking paper folding, Sara taught Michael and myself how to create a butterfly from a single square sheet.

‘Origami helps me relax, it helps me energise,’ she says. After our very relaxing afternoon, spent turning paper features into origami creatures, I would definitely agree. I found origami very soothing and rewarding: a great way to relieve exam stress. Let’s face it, revision would be a lot more fun if my notes were in the form of paper dragons.

Sara Adams agrees that origami is a great way to relax, away from academic work: ‘with research you don’t see results quickly, do you? But when you start folding paper, you can create something really quickly.’

It is this act of creation, of playing God with mini paper creatures, which makes origami so attractive. ‘You can make things which you think are impossible,’ Sara enthuses, showing us a model with three weirdly intertwining rectangles. It looks like something out of Escher.

Origami is not your average, do-it-in-your-bedroom-when-you’re-bored kind of activity, however. It relies heavily on mathematics and its techniques are used in areas of engineering such as satellites and space travel. For example, the airbags in cars are designed using origami methods of folding to fit into a really small space and expand rapidly when necessary.

Origami can also be exceptionally complicated; according to Sara, ‘models can have five hundred or a thousand steps and involve several hours of folding.’ Physicist and origami theorist Robert J. Lang has written a computer program, dubbed TreeProgram, which will design an origami model and its crease pattern to fit a personal specification.

It is this fusion of mathematical foundation and creative spirit which makes origami so unique. Bridging the gap between art and science, and easy to engage in anywhere, origami is one of the most democratic, inoffensive hobbies around. The word origami originally comes from Japanese: ori meaning paper and gami meaning folding. The art is practised around the world, although it was particularly popularised by Japan. As Sara tells me: ‘in Japan they take it really seriously. They have televised competitions of who’s the best at origami.’

Origami is a seriously versatile hobby, and more popular than you might think. Folding paper is a natural instinct in people; think of children making paper boats and hats and students rolling cigarettes and sweet papers.

Origami works with a lot of different materials: wrapping paper, newspaper, special origami paper and even aluminium foil. It can also be tailored to fit individual interests: for example, smokers might enjoy the movable model of a packet with individual cigarettes made from a single sheet of paper.

And let’s face it, everybody has their favourites. I was particularly enthused by a model of a Welsh dragon, whilst Michael liked a piece of origami which rotates, ‘because you can play with it.’ Sara’s favourite model was one of a scorpion, and she prefers to fold complicated models from single sheets of paper.

After admiring the convolute of colourful creations which lay in a heap at Sara’s feet, it was time to get started on our own origami experience. Michael and I try to carefully fold and crease, performing every instruction with a zen-like state of concentration. Even so, I still manage to mess up my model, so that Sara has to adapt her instructions to fit my hybrid creation.

‘Do people swear when they’re doing origami?’ I ask, frustrated. Michael smirks when I lose my way, and I am reduced to biting my tongue as I make mistake after ugly mistake.

It’s not looking pretty. Soon my paper has become a heap of quivering shapes. It does not, by any stretch of the imagination, look like a butterfly. Even the photographer, Hector Durham, smirks: ‘You should stop bossing everyone about and focus on the origami, the true art.’ I pull a face, which he unfortunately catches on camera. I think I’ll stick to writing; folding paper is too much like hard work.

Free trade is dead

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Although most of the world realised rather earlier, the West has suddenly woken up to the global food crisis. Never mind the extra 20p on a packet of cornflakes.

The price of wheat has more than doubled in the past year, meaning that the world’s poor are simply unable to afford to eat. Food riots have erupted from India to Mexico, leaving dozens dead and hundreds injured.

Reassuringly, the guardians of global free trade have the answer. “Eventually, no doubt, farmers will respond to higher prices by growing more and a new equilibrium will be established,” writes the ever optimistic Economist: liberalise trade, end government subsides, and increased production will drive down prices.

Yet while growing more will help, the real problem is not a lack of grub. It is that the rich can afford to buy food out of the mouths of the poor.

Last year global grain production actually grew 5% to 2.1 billion tons. Astonishingly, less than half will end up on people’s plates. The rest is diverted from empty stomachs towards calamitous biofuels and wasteful meat production.

Next year, the US will turn more than 100 million tonnes of corn into ethanol to be burnt in the engines of its vast fleet of cars. Even more grain – 760 million tonnes last year – is squandered on feeding animals for meat.

Literally trillions of calories are blown by turning grain into flesh because animals burn off most of what we feed them. For every kilo of beef that ends up in hamburgers, eight kilos of grain are needed as feed.

The only reason for this absurd use of food is that the rich can pay to make it happen. A farmer, who may be struggling to survive himself, will sell to whoever gives the highest price.

It doesn’t matter that the buyer will burn grain in her car and waste it to make sausages, rather than someone who actually needs that food to live.

Even if Economist-style free trade does give farmers an incentive to grow more, insatiable demand for biofuels and meat may simply swallow up any gains, especially given record oil prices and the affluent new carnivores of China and India.

 

Breathtaking inequality plus a free market means that the poor can be priced out of life itself by the wasteful whims of the wealthy.
Either the rich should be stopped from hiking up the price, or the poor should be given the means to compete. We accept that the welfare state should step in at a national level when some are given the finger by the invisible hand.

Why should it not be rolled out globally by a world government? As markets around the world are trashed by hungry crowds, the free traders have never looked so bereft of answers.

Bumbling Boris

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As Boris Johnson stepped up to the podium to make his acceptance speech, he stumbled, rather comically, much to the delight of gathered journalists. It’s unsurprising really, and the odd trip-up or awkward comment have dogged Johnson’s image in the media for the last decade (time immemorial, in politics).

 

But, classic episodes of Have I Got News For You aside, what Londoners voted for last Friday was a new mayor, not an entertainer. In the final results, Johnson had a clear lead, finally ousting Ken Livingstone as Labour’s safe choice to guard the capital city.

 

London is its own universe in many ways. It’s ideologically different from every other city in the country, it’s awaiting the Olympic Games in 2012, and it’s the place most readers of this newspaper will end up working in a few years. Therefore, we all agree that London is pretty important. Has the city made the right choice of mayor?

 

In his acceptance speech, Boris did his  best to reassure both those who did and didn’t vote for him. He spoke wittily, eloquently, and even a little inspiringly. ‘Image’ is something Boris will always be able to cope with – he seems almost immune to the personality pitfalls that plague other politicians and has carved an eccentric niche for himself in which he is in fact very comfortable.

 

The efficacy of Boris’s policies is yet to be seen, but he’s been saying the right things for Londoners tetchy about the safety and efficiency of the capital city, though perhaps his goals are perhaps a little over-ambitious. Completely re-furbishing the underground? Putting a stop to knife crime? Making the city healthier? All of these promises sound great, but many doubters are unsure whether Boris can follow them through.

 

I’m sceptical also. But that isn’t really the point. Ken has had his go – and in areas like these he hasn’t exactly come up trumps. Given the choice of staying with Livingstone or going for a completely new approach, I think Londoners, with their reputation for being a dynamic lot, have plumped for Boris: they know, at least, that he’ll do things differently.

 

Of course, the million or so people who didn’t vote for Johnson, including several major media outlets, are unimpressed with the election results. In particular, The Guardian was openly opposed to his mayorial ambitions. Running apocalyptic articles about Boris’s abilities in the lead up to the vote, The Guardian have now published, a little petulantly, a warning that there are ‘100 crucial days’ ahead for the ‘toff’ who is ‘back on top’. Predictable, no?

 

Some of the Guardian’s concerns are legitimate, though. Boris really has to prove himself now, and the time for comedic antics is over. I wouldn’t vote Conservative myself, but I’m not too worried about Johnson’s win. The role of mayor is something he’ll take to with vigour – and that’s what London really needs.

OxFood

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So delicious they printed it twice.

First Night Review: A Doll’s House

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If there’s one thing to be said for Northern Stage, they know the value of good advertising, enticing potential viewers to see their production of “A Doll’s House” by branding the Ibsen classic “an emotional rollercoaster.”

And well they might, considering that at the time of its publication in 1879, the story of a wife deciding whether to leave her husband and children was pretty groundbreaking stuff. It is only once inside the Playhouse, however, that we discover the alleged rollercoaster has suffered some kind of rust infestation causing it to grind to a near-halt, leaving you suspended in mid-air with no immediate means of exit. 

This was not entirely the fault of the production. With a half-empty auditorium, there was a definite lack of enthusiasm emanating from the audience which could not have helped to fire up the actors. While the ensuing sense of apathy might well have nourished Ibsen’s penchant for the truly miserable, when combined with the platter of depressing situations with which he presents us, it allowed the tone to sink to new depths.

Tilly Gaunt nevertheless gave an energetic performance as Nora Helmer, the “doll-wife” of the tale. Through her fluttering mannerisms, voice pitching, and graceful movements, Gaunt successfully brought out the humour of the part and Nora’s child-like quality.

This trait, however, was overblown, and at times undermined the character’s strength: her confession to saving her husband’s life, for example, is delivered in a petulant sulk, and as a result the courage revealed in the process was lost upon the audience. 

John Kirk as her husband, Torwald Helmer and Chris Myles as Krogstad also managed to inject some life into their performances, in the process redefining the concept of “the grumpy old man.” Myles took the more sinister route, spitting his threats at Nora with  lashings of venom and just a hint of Bill Sykes.

Kirk, on the other hand, carried out his patriarchal role with a great deal of angry barking. Although the two were convincing, their temper tantrums could have done with some alleviation, especially in the case of Kirk, who leaves one wondering why Nora ever stuck around so long in the first place. 

The most impressive aspect of the production was the direction. Erica Whyman had clearly taken pains to imprint her own, individual stamp on the play, and made the innovative decision to set the play in the 1950s. This aligns the role of women in this decade with that of Ibsen’s time, and helps to bring out the appearance of domestic tranquility, at least on the surface.

Interesting also was the choice to set the stage within the confines of a glass house which effectively conveyed both Nora’s sense of enclosure, and her ability to see beyond the forces which restrict her.    

Despite these novel directorial decisions, the production as a whole does not merit the description of the programme. However, for all those whose curiosity might have been pricked by such sensational marketing, it was worth surrendering a Thursday evening. 
 

First night review: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead

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Rosencrantz and Guildenstern may be dead but Krishna Omkar’s lively production is far from it. As the show begins, the sunlight, which flows downwards into the O’Reilly theatre is blocked off by the lofty shutters and so the viewers are plunged into the gloomy sub-reality of the play.

 

The black and white setting of the chessboard stage conveys well the powerlessness felt by the main characters, pawns in this game, doomed from the outset by their Shakespearean precursors.


Guildenstern (William Spray) begins to pursue his questions of identity and reality in protracted musings delivered in a dry and lofty yet intense persona. As he builds into his performance, his sharp changes of mood and volume, touching on the aggressive, convey his anxieties and command attention.

 

Rosencrantz (Liam Wells), while the less troubled of the duo, delivers a more energetic, although controlled performance, bringing life to the stage. The coupling is a success, with genuine engagement between the two actors adding to the overall fluctuating chemistry of the relationship.

 

Tom Carlisle also shines, in what is a belting performance as ‘the player’, developing an aloof style which he applies with versatility to his changing fortune in the ideological battle between fiction and reality.


It is this tension in the plot which helps make it a success with every character at risk of being fictionalized. The use of Hamlet’s play within a play within this show gives it an extra layer of reference (becoming meta-meta-theatre?).

 

Clever use of light gives extra meaning: the brilliant white for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern’s strivings for answers suggests clarity is present in their uncertainty. By contrast, scenes relating to the parent play’s plot are undermined by the dimmer sepia yellow, rendering the familiar uncomfortable.


If the audience watch this show with detatchment, they risk leaving having enjoyed only mild intellectual flattery to the extent they follow Stoppard’s witticisms. Krishna Omkar’s production clinches this aspect: making the audience face each other from opposing blocks, they sit at the fringes of the characters’ perception and are asked to rethink whether they are the spectators or the spectated.

 

Through this they also share their response, which, promisingly, consists of much laughter and enthusiastic applause, with each other. At the close of the show the audience find the play’s unsettling and surreal gloom has seeped into the night and haunts their homeward steps.

 

Four stars.

Balliol burglar may be student

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The man escaped while a porter called the police.

Police are appealing for help after a burglar was stopped from stealing electrical equipment from Balliol College.

At around midnight on Friday 29 February, a college porter stopped a man (shown in the CCTV image above) after he noticed a bulge under his jacket and a cable hanging out of it.

The man handed over the Digibox and DVD player he had been concealing, but escaped before the porter could call the police.

Police spokesman Toby Shergold suggested that the burglar may be a member of the University.

‘One line of enquiry is that he is a student himself,’ he said.

Anyone with information on the CCTV image is asked to call DC Louise Tompkins on 08458 505505 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555111.

The Futureheads – “This is not the world”

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This is the latest album from Sunderland-based post-punk group The Futureheads and… it’s self-released.

That’s right – after being dropped from their label due to the poor sales of News and Tributes, they set up their own label, nul records so as not to deprive the world of their sound.

I can tell that fans will be clamouring to see whether This Is Not The World amounts to more than nothing.

The best–known track on the album is undoubtably ‘The Beginning Of The Twist’, which has received considerable airplay. ‘Broke Up The Time’ was also available as a free download.

Both of these songs are fairly standard Futureheads fare – big guitars, awesome harmonies and slightly incomprehensible lyrics. The problem is that they’ve made a Kaiser Chiefs–esque attempt to move away from the stylings that some might call novelty.

Unfortunately, with The Futureheads, this has basically stripped them of what made them unique. The oohs are gone, as are many of the more unusual riffs, leaving a bland middle–of–the–road album.

This is okay for the first few songs, but then I found myself longing for a slower song to break things up a bit. The rest of the album just merged together into a generic indie sound.

Now, I do have it on good authority that this music sounds good live, so I will just say: give them a chance if they’re playing a venue near you.

The album isn’t bad, it’s just that it doesn’t knock your socks off, as some of their earlier songs did.

And to be frank, when the best a band can do is a cover of a Kate Bush track, it might be time to call it a day.

In this writer’s opinion, The Futureheads should stop dragging their feet and admit that their best work is in the past.