Monday 9th June 2025
Blog Page 2254

Review: The Nose

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Due to an editing error, this play was incorrectly given three stars in Cherwell Print Edition (Friday 2 May). The star rating below is correct. Cherwell apologise for any confusion this may have caused.

‘Noses are not clean’. The trouble with them, according to Nikolai Gogol’s short story, in a new adaptation from Sam Caird and David Wolf, is that they sometimes fall off government officals’ faces, and begin to lead lives of their own. Definitely tricky things, and the joy of this production is that it quite clearly revels in its own absurdity.

The play is helped along by the quality of Gogol’s original vision, hilarious and clever. Kovalynov the offical in question, flirting with various women before his mysterious de- nosing, compares each to a piece of food; clearly a man whose appetites control his life. Maanas Jain plays Kovalynov with confidence and wit, but it is the use of the cast as a whole which is most striking.

The characters all play more than one role, flitting on and off in a manner that not only manages to clearly delineate each character, but is also astonishingly elegant and suggestive. The rich technique also allows Adam St- Leger Honeybone (pictured), a real delight in this play, to narrate while the characters re- position themselves for the next scene. This multi- faceted use of characters is characteristic of adaptations from the page, but rarely have I seen it used with such panache.

The imagery too is potent. When Kovalynov comes across the deranged Chief of Police, excellently played by Eva Tausig, he is led by a line of sugar, sprinkled across the stage. The Chief is, it transpires, is obsessed with sugar, and watching Tausig stuff sugar- cubes into her bra, cubes which later in the scene come cascading from her clothes, is a good example of the lunatic genius of the piece.

The relationships between the other characters are well- drawn also, with Charlotte Bayley particularly good as a highly expressive and amusing mother who is attracted to one of her daughter’s admirers, and Bayley moves smoothly from shrewish to seductive. Her daughter, Sonya, well played by Jenny Ross, is in turn infatuated with Kovalynov. That the relationships between the characters are so convoluted is no surprise. That this production is so smartly produced, directed and acted, is a wonderful one.

4 stars out of 5

Food in crisis?

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A spectre is haunting the West – the spectre of Malthusianism. Talk of a food crisis has provoked commentators to claim that there are too many mouths to feed. In fact, despite some environmentalists’ claims that the crisis reinforces their belief in the natural limits of humankind’s ambitions, we already have enough food to feed all Earth’s people, and more.

The current crisis is doubtless a serious one. The market price of basic cereals has doubled within the last year, sparking unrest in Haiti, the Philippines, Egypt, Senegal, Bangladesh and elsewhere. Aid agencies are being forced to cut food aid across the globe, the World Bank has warned that 100m people could be pushed further into poverty, and UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon suggested that food riots pose a serious threat to political security in developing countries. Most starkly of all, 840m people worldwide suffer from malnutrition.

The causes of this crisis are complex. They include bad weather, rising fuel and fertilizer prices, and rising meat consumption, since it takes several kilos of grain to produce one kilo of meat, leading greens like George Monbiot to demand that we all become vegetarian. Biofuel production has undoubtedly had a severe effect, leading a UN Special Rapporteur to label it a “crime against humanity”. Certainly, the crisis has exposed the fundamental irrationality and environmentally unfriendly nature of biofuels once and for all.

More disturbingly, there has been a strong streak of Malthusianism in much of the commentary: the idea that there are simply too many mouths to feed. As CNN founder Ted Turner put it, “There’s too many people. That’s why we have global warming… because too many people are using too much stuff.” Once only a preserve of nutcases like the Optimum Population Trust (who want to cut world population by one to three billion), this idea has now been mainstreamed by green campaigners. The Independent must be particularly delighted, since its Environment editor argued four years ago that economic trends were “fulfilling the gloomy predictions of Thomas Malthus”.

Let us be quite clear about the real nature of the crisis: it is a crisis of affordability, not supply. The world already produces enough food to feed more than its current population. There is enough cereal alone to supply everyone in the world with 3,500 calories daily, well in excess of the healthy minimum of 2,500 – and this is before meat, vegetable, nut and bean production is taken into account. Global agriculture today produces 17 per cent more calories per capita than it did thirty years ago. People starve because they cannot afford food, not because there are too many mouths to feed. The food crisis is actually a poverty crisis: it exposes not the planet’s overpopulation but the precarious existence of billions of people for whom a rise in basic commodity prices spells ruin.

The fundamental reason why Malthus was proven wrong is that he systematically underplayed mankind’s capacity to enhance and transform nature to fulfil its needs and desires. That very idea is anathema in an age where environmentalists urge us to bow down to nature and respect the limits it imposes on us. But, put simply, there are more of us today, living healthier, better lives, because we got much better at producing food (among many other things) by introducing scientific techniques, fertilisers and mechanisation. Paul Erlich’s claim in The Population Bomb (1968) that hundreds of millions would starve to death in the late 1960s was confounded by the Green Revolution, the export of modern farming techniques and tools to the third world, particularly the Indian subcontinent.

Crucially, however, these productivity gains have been profoundly uneven and remain concentrated in the capitalist heartlands. While annual food production per capita is 1,230kg in the USA, it is 325kg in China and a mere 90kg in Zimbabwe. Put another way, farmers in countries with highly-developed agricultural sectors produce one to two million kilograms of cereal each; by contrast, of the world’s 3bn peasant farmers, those who benefited from the Green Revolution produce 10,000-50,000kg, but those excluded completely from new technologies produce only 1,000kg.

The underdevelopment of and lack of investment in agriculture in developing countries means that agricultural productivity growth has not kept pace with population growth – in Africa, for instance, the respective rates are two and three per cent. Argentina, the EU, and the USA produce 80 percent of world food exports, on which the poorer countries now depend – hardly any wonder, then, that the US shift to biofuel production has had such a dramatic effect on world-market prices.

This is compounded by perverse rich-country policies, such as the foisting of mono-cultural cash crops on developing countries, crops that have undermined soil fertility. Other problems include the huge domestic subsidies for agriculture, which make many poor-country farmers unable to compete, and the dumping of Western produce on poor countries in the form of food aid. The idea that the issue is one of distribution rather than supply is reinforced by the fact that food production has continued to grow even as the total land area under cultivation in Europe fell from 732m hectares in 1981 to 656 hectares in 2000 – because of a problem of oversupply. EU farmers were being paid to keep their land fallow – and now they are locked into ludicrous 10-year schemes that prevent them from reverting to food-production even though prices are now high.

The facts, then, have not changed since Amartya Sen published his influential 1981 book, Poverty and Famines, which showed that unjust socioeconomic and political structures cause famines, not food shortages. It should scarcely need pointing out that the prevailing economic system, where profit rather than need dictates the production and distribution of goods, is the real problem behind the crisis.

Rather than seeking to change this system (which admittedly shows little sign of being overthrown any time soon), attention is focusing on increasing poor-country agricultural productivity. The Alliance for a Green Revolution in Africa is a potentially promising development, seeking to bring much-needed investment, new seeds, fertiliser, technology and infrastructure to the continent. If it can genuinely empower African farmers rather than serving the interests of Western agribusiness, it may be worth supporting. But without being accompanied by more thoroughgoing structural change – such as the redistribution of land from rich to poor, the dismantling of Western subsidy regimes and the reform of international trade systems – the benefits are likely to accrue very unevenly, and may not address the fundamental problem of gross inequality and poverty that ultimately underlies malnutrition. The spectre of Malthusianism needs exorcising quickly.

Interview: David Willetts MP

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David Willetts inherited a mouthful of a title when he became the Shadow Secretary of State for Innovation, Universities and Skill in July 2007. His official role is to coordinate the Conservatives’ policy on higher education, but his importance to the party stretches beyond this, as he is considered one of its leading intellects.

Any discussion with David (affectionately known as “two brains”) promises to be mentally stimulating, as he discusses the big issues of British politics and Conservative ideology. To the common man he might look every bit the archetypal Tory MP but he is far from fulfilling much of the stereotype. His views are moderate and he is clearly willing to challenge received wisdom in favour of brightening up the intellectual scene.

When I suggest that Gordon Brown’s current malaise might be the catalyst for Willetts’ return to government – he previously served in the Treasury under Nigel Lawson – he responds confidently: “I think that the Conservative party is in better shape than it”s been in for over a decade. People can sense that we are changing; they can sense that we are focusing on the issues that they worry about rather than an inward-looking debate that focuses on our own agenda.” For eleven years, Conservative ministers have been saying the same, generally to deaf ears, but now the message seems to resonate. The Conservatives under Cameron have enjoyed a healthy lead in the polls since the “Brown bounce” last summer, and it looks set to continue.

This does not mean, however, that Willetts is complacent. He is eager to be optimistic but makes the salient point that the Conservatives still have fewer MPs in Parliament now than Michael Foot did after the “disastrous” Labour election of 1983. He is a man who understands the uphill task ahead: “no one,” he cautions, “should be measuring the curtains for their departmental office just yet.”

It is still far too early to predict the outcome of the next general election, but most would certainly argue that it will be the first since 1992 in which the Tories will have a genuinely decent chance of winning. As might be expected of Willetts, he puts it all down to the fruition of new ideas. “There is a recognition that the political renewal of conservatism is also an intellectual renewal.” He castigates the old Tory view that ideas have no place in the political discussions in the “Dog & Duck” and is excited by the party’s willingness to re-engage in intellectual discussion.

I put to him, therefore, one of the most tricky questions in British politics, “What is conservatism?”. He is quick to stress that the creed has often changed in the party’s history (so much so one would suspect that “being pragmatic” is akin to “being conservative”) but that the debate is hindered by a false dichotomy. “We had,” he argues, “a conventional political debate in which Conservatives were the party of the market and Labour were the party of the state, but a hell of a lot of what matters to most people lies in between the two – the family, the neighbourhood or the community. This is what we mean by the phrase “non-state collective action.””

Willetts has much to say on how to incorporate economic game theory and even evolutionary biology into Conservative political thought. The general idea is that humans gain pleasure in the brain from being able to forge our own collective institutions, and therefore it serves an evolutionary purpose to allow the individual greater economic and political freedom. These hypotheses are still inchoate, but Willetts is willing to grapple with them and perhaps to provide answers out of left field.

When asked about his student days at Oxford, Willetts responds, “I am one of nature’s PPEists and I regard myself as in some ways still doing PPE.” Politics, it seems, is just an extension of university for a man who spent much of his time at Oxford founding societies and arranging meetings. Optimistically, he suggests that “students work harder now than when I was a student.” And after I regretfully correct his mistake, we move on to discussing Conservative policy on universities.

The “student experience” is as close as a buzz word as Willetts will allow himself, and he turns to this phrase when questioned about student funding. The party has called for a 2010 review of university funding so that the impact of top-up fees can be properly measured, but for now Willetts is most concerned with the quality of university life: “What I’m increasingly picking up on is that the quality of the student experience is something that students across the country raise with me more and more – how many essays you’re going to have to write, how accessible the academics are, how much academic feedback you’re going to get and how crowded the seminars are. You can only justify the fees that students are now charged if students are confident that the money is going into improving the student experience.”

Tony Blair kick-started the university funding debate with his policy that 50% of school leavers should be attending university, thus creating a requirement for extra funding. “I’m sceptical about these abstract targets,” says Willetts, “and we’ve just had some evidence that the percentage of young people going to university has only increased from 37.2 to 37.8 per cent.” He continues: “Your question shows what’s gone wrong with this target, which is that you get a debate about a target rather than a debate about the real world question “how do we ensure that more young people are going to university?” That is a real-world challenge and I’d rather focus on that than on abstract targets that Tony Blair plucked out of the air for effect.”

After our interview I would find it impossible to pigeonhole David Willetts. He understands that government should be realistic and yet believes that it only makes sense in the context of intellectual rigour. He is part of a party which is widely caricatured as “inertia personified” and yet he is keen to draw on the cutting edge of academic research. It’s clear that his days studying PPE at Christ Church have been significant in the making of the senior politician before me. He leaves me with an indication of why the place is so special to him: “There’s a great cartoon of a man sitting in a library, looking up, surrounded by books, and saying, “good God! for a moment then it all made sense.” I learnt about the men of the British Enlightenment at Oxford, and that mix of the cultural, the political and the philosophical is what I think politics is like when it’s at its best. And that’s what makes every day so stimulating as a politician.”

Plagiarism email sparks confusion

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An email sent by Proctors last Friday warning against plagiarism caused confusion for some students who thought it was intended specifically for them.

Students across the University emailed their tutors to ask if they were being disciplined.

One Keble undergraduate concerned by the message said, “The email was a bit worrying.”

“As far as I was aware I hadn’t engaged in any such activity, but I did email my tutor to say what I had received and that since none of the other Keble geography students has received his, ask if he had reported my work to the Proctors.”

Academic registrar Michael Sibly claims he was asked to send the email by previous and current proctors in an attempt to make students aware of the regulations regarding plagiarism.

“Whenever this [plagiarism] becomes an issue students often say that they just didn’t know,” he said.

Sibly admitted that it was “mildly ambiguous” that the message, which appeared to be individually addressed to each recipient, was mass-mailed.

He added that the email was “meant to be low-key” and that as far as he is aware there is “no particular issue” with plagiarism at present.

 

A message clarifying the situation was sent out later on Friday evening.

Keble socialist coup fails

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Keble College will retain its name after the JCR voted down a motion to rename it ‘The Socialist College of Keble’ last Sunday.

The motion, proposed by Ex-JCR President Paul Dwyer, also promised “war on St John’s, that bastion of capitalism” and to change the name of the JCR President, John Maher, to Karl Marx.

Despite being “a bit of pre-Finals fun,” the proposals were defeated by a large majority, with only 10 people voting in favour of the change.

The motion noted, amongst other things, “Red is usually the colour associated with socialism. Keble is red. St John’s is a rubbish college.”

As well as calling for a statue of an ex-Keblite whom it calls a “great socialist leader” to be erected in Liddon quad, the motion would have changed the JCR constitution which currently prevents the common room from taking a stance on anything that might be construed as political.

Dwyer blamed the motion’s defeat on the JCR’s unwillingness to accept what he called the obvious connection between socialism and Keble college.

The connection, he said, is “mainly the colour red at the minute, although I’m working on others.”

Chris Fellingham, a JCR member supporting the motion, remarked, “Conservatives were understandably smug” but claimed that their debate “failed to put up anything of substance”.

Sam Hampton, who also supported it, felt that the vote was not fair.

“I personally want a closed ballot to stop the neo-cons from using their coercive tactics to oppress the will of the masses.”

However, Keble student Brad Johnson, current returning officer for Oxford University Conservative Association (OUCA), felt that the motion’s failure was inevitable.

 

“Keblites tend toward natural conservatism,”  he said.

 
Dwyer says that he still has hope for the success of socialism in Oxford, claiming that Martin McCluskey is “a notorious lefty,” and “has big plans for his final term.”

Dwyer takes up his role as OUSU’s Vice President (Access and Academic Affairs) in June.

Average student rent up 1.5%

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Rents in the south of the country are generally higher than their northern counterparts with the average costs in Oxford, Cambridge and Brighton being 20% higher than the UK norm.

 

However, it is London that tops the table with an average weekly rent of £102.85, making it the most expensive city in the UK for student accommodation.

Saturday 26th April – First Day of an Oxford Summer? Delightful.

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I think not. The first typical Oxford Summer’s day was not to be unappreciated. Off to the Turf for a few hours of trying to find a seat outside. In the first 4 hours the infamous pub was open yesterday it turned over approximately £6000 just from drinks. It was crowded with a mix of students, tourists and families basking in the sun. Well, basking in the newly developed cloud actually – we can pretend. The sight of a perfectly formed queue at the bar, despite the barman instructing the punters to all come forward, summed up the English scene. Delightful.

And to round off the day in true Oxford style… I went from one punter to the other kind of punter. A leisurely 2 hours punting down the river with a picnic. It wasn’t quite as relaxing as I had hoped; but I think this says more about my punting that anything else. All that was missing were straw boaters. (A step too far?)

So there you have it. For me, this was the kick start to Trinity term. It perfectly illustrated that we all love to fit the clichés of Oxford. Mock it. Love it. Delightful.

In bed with McCluskey

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One commenter has had cause to question Aldate’s independence.  Be assured that this blogger maintains a professional distance from all Oxford media outlets… unlike some.

 

Word reaches Aldate that Martin McCluskey and his in-house newspaper are getting a little too close for comfort.

It would seem that the OUSU President is a regular attendee at OxStu weekly meetings, ‘just for fun,’ and a recent sneaky peek at his mobile revealed his inbox to be full of texts from:

 

– Holehouse
– Holehouse
– Holehouse
– Mum
– Holehouse
– Holehouse
– Holehouse
– Mum

Let’s hope the Stu’s star reporter isn’t being influenced by those in need of some positive PR.

Cherwell vs OxStu: Issue 2

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Inside:

Cherwell:
2 – Cherwell.org’s gay pride advert
3 – Tansey’s M&S advert
4 – If only Cherwell could run headlines like that
5 – Saying the protesters broke a long-standing promise is pushing it a bit considering they had a projectile thrown at them.  Plus Oriel banter – the juice only really comes in the final two paras.
7 – Yawnproctors plus pretty serious story at Anne’s
8 – "people should be working, not watching TV" – quote of the week from Sean McClory, Jesus JCR President, clearly not a fan of popular culture.

9 – As one commenter posted on this site, "That pic looks like one of those dances they used to have on BBC1 before Neighbours."  Something about libertarians, whatever they are, and a woman about to give birth out a window.
10 – Editorials make Aldate ill.  Nice to see that Seddon is *still* pissing people off though.  Was Paton on the OC?
11 – Cartoon, nice idea even if it’s a bit, er, pencilly.  That dude looks radical too.
12 – Media
13 – More media
14 – The Cambridge Union are offering £1,000 to the student who designs the best brand identity for them.  Our Union’s ad would only be worth that to a collector of abstract art.  Just dig out the old ad template.  The Isis ad made Aldate sick up a bit too.

15 – Much better C2 logo.  Could make a crude comment about the page being splattered but this sanctification didn’t come easy.
16-17 – That’s a lot of icing for one page, but good fun.  Cake needed brightening.

18 – Not Bowden’s best, but at least readers care enough to tell him so.  New College’s offering was in fact scanned from a Jack Wills catalogue.
19 – Yet more media
20 – This page should be renamed "Misc"
21 – Would (wear the clothes).
22-23 – Amazing illustration.  Word is the member of staff who recommended Ken’s biography has been fired.
24 – Didn’t know Gap were advertising in Cherwell these days.
25 – Starting to enjoy the Amateur Auteur column.
26 – Still reading this?  All quiet on the thespy front.
27 – Ashley Bond should sell that painting as a poster.
28 – Can you find the joke entry?
29 – Cars to keep the boys happy.
30 – Nice to have pure, un-editorialised interview for once.
31 – Nice hat.
Back – Nice pic.  Aldate looks forward to seeing more obscure sports statistics in the future.

Stu:
2 – Imagine Tony Blackburn reading that advert out loud.  "Hey there you crrraazy students"…
3 – Bad luck missing Tansey’s cancellation.
4 – Cherwell didn’t cover the students in elections, but probably should have, if only online.
5 – Vaguely interesting and quite interesting.
6-7 – Two more pages of Proctors?  Dizzying design and picture need to be improved if they actually want anyone to read the body copy, but interesting infoboxes, especially last paragraph of "The Proctors’ Year".
8 – Never spotted the "Associate Editors" at the bottom of the staffbox before.  Shouldn’t Cal be doing exams or something?  Or is it a joke position for cake-eating posh boys?
9 – PETA’s spokesman appears to be a floating head.
10 – Let’s hope they paid the News of the World for that picture of Sufiah Yusof.  Nice journohack gossip though, for those who still long incestuous chat after reading this illustrious column.  Aldate will buy the Librarian a pint upon identifying the "graduate photoshopped to child-like proportions".
11 – ?
12 – Say goodbye to happiness
13 – A pixellated monster attempts to devour a budgie.
14-15 – White space can be a good design technique.  Can.  Interesting and coherent copy, the effect of which was pissed on, dried off and then pissed on again by the words "The Oxford Student recognizes that this is an emotive issue."  Surprised they didn’t give the number for Nightline.
16 – We take back earlier comments about Union ad design.  New low.
17 – Aldate was looking forward to reading to this, but the columns are wider than Broad Street.
18 – Glad you enjoyed your holiday
19 – Lolhouse came in for a rough ride over this article , and it was interesting to hear his side.  Scrap Doctor Proctor.
20-22 – Yeah
23 – Ironically, Cherwell editor Billy Kenber is heavily involved in Future Shorts (featured on Saturday).
24-5 – Music
26 – Nice opening.  Don’t get that enough in student papers.
27 – There’s only room for one etcetera in Oxford. 
28 – Film
29 – Patron: The Rt Hon John Prescott MP
30-31 – It’d be nice to have a term where OxStu shoots weren’t done in LMH.  That said, great pics, if a little too dark.  Good effort.
32 – Lucky I rarely make it that far down the page because the printing quality on the last line is consistently pisspoor.
33 – Compare page 29’s half page ad to page 33’s half page ad.  Awkward.
34-back – Crazy selection of sports, which makes a nice change, but will piss off the cricketers no end.
Back – Is that photo caption a design technique or has no-one taught the Stu how to use padding yet?

 

 Your turn…

Unusual sports: Octopush

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Swimming is a well-known, simple sport. It has rules that spectators and competitors can understand without difficulty: jump in, swim straight and swim fast. Make sure Speedos do not restrict, too. The same can be said about hockey as well, albeit the latter is slightly more complicated; simply sprinkle in the offside rule, a couple of sticks and a ball. Aside from those trivialities, hockey is a sport that people grasp with relative ease.

 

With this in mind, perhaps the founder of Octopush – a hybrid of the two aforementioned sports – was a strong swimmer with a fantastic penalty stroke.

At first glance, second-guessing the sport itself rather than its creation would serve better. The image on the website’s homepage treats people to the sight of two players with small sticks pushing a puck along the floor. Quite bizarre and outlandish; and that’s before the scuba-diving equipment and underwater arena are taken into consideration. So is it as, ahem, simple, as it appears on the photographs?

‘Octopush is a non-contact sport in which two teams of six compete to manoeuvre a weighted puck across the bottom of a swimming pool into goals while wearing a snorkel, mask and fins’ states Martin Hill, Oxford Octopush secratary. So far, so good. It appears the moniker of ‘underwater hockey’ derives from the equipment used to push the puck: a hockey stick without the stick. Known as ‘pushers’, they’re no longer in length than a standard school ruler. Close control is an absolute must in this game; a slight flick from an opponent’s pusher can free the puck from the attacker’s possession. Distance shots may be an option however; there are no goalkeepers in Octopush.

Invented in 1954 by British Sub Aqua Club member Alan Blake in an attempt to stop club members abandoning the new club during the winter months (when it was too cold to dive in the sea), Octopush’s original rules were tinkered with to make it more accessible and it finally established itself as the sport it is today. It took Oxford University fifty-two years to form their own club; interest levels have risen steadily ever since. Attracting between fifteen and twenty regular enthusiasts, Oxford have entered two University Nationals tournaments, impressively finishing 6th in a ten-team league in their first ever season. Despite finishing one place from the foot of the table this year, enthusiasm hasn’t degenerated. ‘We are always looking for new players whatever their experience’, says Martin Hill.

Octopush is fun and different; substitutes splash into the arena as opposed to the usual slow jog seen by footballers. Despite sounding like Chris Eubank exclaiming his love for eight-legged sea creatures, it is a sport which will hopefully gain more fanfare and members in the coming years.