Wednesday, May 7, 2025
Blog Page 455

Oxford United mask distribution praised in parliament

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Layla Moran tabled a motion in the House of Commons last week to celebrate the work of Oxford United Football Club in response to the coronavirus outbreak.

The Liberal Democrat MP for Oxford West and Abingdon expressed her gratitude to the League One club “on behalf of the whole community” for their actions in response to the pandemic.

The Us (Oxford United) distributed approximately 10,000 masks to Season Ticket holders and local charities after receiving a large batch from Chairman Sumrith Thanakarnjanasuth’s native Thailand.

The motion went on to praise “the efforts of individuals across the county who have responded to the Covid-19 pandemic by working together to support the most vulnerable in the community.”

Over the past week, staff at the football club, including manager Karl Robinson, have helped with the distribution of the fabric face masks. Their destinations initially prioritised the NHS, local government and local charities, before being broadened out as 2000 masks were posted to Oxford United season ticket holders over the age of 55, as well as those at a higher risk of contracting the virus. Robinson personally delivered masks to charities including Sobell House.

In a statement posted on their website, the United manager said that, with English football currently suspended indefinitely, the club could use its resources to help the response to the pandemic.

“Everyone is doing their best to play their part at the moment, whether that is calls to fans, volunteering with the NHS, or helping in their local community. I think we can feel very proud as a group of people and the team spirit really shone through this morning.”

The fabric masks feature the club’s badge as well as the logo of its sponsor Singha. They await further testing before being used by NHS staff.

On Monday, the club issued an update confirming that all masks had been delivered, saying: “we hope that the masks help those who need them most”. The club also apologised to any fans who had requested a mask but would not be receiving one due to high demand.

“We are still receiving a lot of requests for masks but there are simply none left – we hope that fans agree with how they were prioritised and although we would love to help others the very last mask was sent out over the weekend.”

The statement concluded by reminding supporters that the masks were not the “best solution” to the current pandemic, which remains staying at home and avoiding all but essential journeys outside the house.

Image Credit to Richard Rogerson / Wikimedia Commons. License: CC BY-SA 2.0

The Philosopher on His Way to the Shops

… Or maybe I should live for me,
And scrap the drab commuter squeeze.
I’ll leap and thrash for what I please;
A careless cod in life’s blue sea!

No – can’t forget my fellow man,
For what’s a cod without his school?
A sad, lonely, vulnerable fool –
Would likely end up in the pan.

The righteous road the best have trod
Pursues delight for one and all,
Gives up itself in human thrall.
Yes, that’s the way to live, by God…

God! Ah, fuck! By breezy decree,
He’ll kick me straight to fire and rot,
And watch me writhe in that dark lot,
For serving man, or blasphemy.

Probably best to hedge my fate,
And, like Pascal (the wily fox),
Busily spend my sighs and stocks
To win a pass through Peter’s gate.

But why not back a different long
Shot: Allah, Vishnu, Yhi, Ajok?
What if that airy, mindless stork
Dropped me off where they got it wrong?

And what if I was dropped off late,
Once winning faith had come and gone?
The dusty Zeus, the wheezy Dôn,
Should I not wager on their hate?

Oh, sod that superstitious shit,
I know my bloody country’s real!
I’ll live for old St George’s zeal
And lion-hearted, prideful grit!

For every sister and brother,
Throughout this green and pleasant land,
I’ll spit and curse and lose my hand
To fend off something or other!

No – wait – might need to temper that;
I won’t for all give toil and pain;
Yeah, not the short man on my train
Who always slobs his food – the twat.

The ‘land’ is what I’ll guard instead;
The solemn oak; the rose uncut;
Rivers unspoiled and joyful – but
I’d rather not get my feet wet.

Agh! Long we’ve built, with tuts and snorts,
The tapestry of wits from scratch,
Yet not a single sorry patch
Has neatly bound my simple thoughts.

That’s it! I’ll take a stitch from each,
And weave a new and clever thing!
A proud, meek, polytheistic,
Selfish, selfless, hedonistic,
Humanistic, pantheistic –

Oh! Milk milk milk… yeah…
And potatoes…?

Ordinary Dreams

I dreamt about you last night. It was not remarkable or
extraordinary; You sent me to the local shops with a list of
groceries, And I ran along, hopscotching over the paving stones,
Eager to please you as always. Then I was at the corner of the
road On my way back, And you were getting into your car, I
remembered you’d been visiting us and now you were returning
home. You opened the door and climbed into the driver’s seat In
slow motion. My brother was playing nearby, Someone else waved
you off from the front gate. I was looking on, Spectating dreamily
Like a proud God.

When I woke, Tears bled from
my eyes quietly.

What hurts the most is the unceremoniousness of it
all; You existed there so surely, so unexceptionally
fully, That I did not think to savour your presence.

Now I am awake, And you are melting away, Back into
the abyss of my subconscious, ordinary dreams, A
world where the fabric of time has splayed at its
seams.

The Art of the Perfect Playlist

If you’ve ever doubted the power of the playlist, think again. From manipulating consumer behaviour (you can blame the background music at Society Cafe for the hit your student loan took last term) to paving the path to my own doomed love affair, as well as revolutionising the way in which artists and songs get their big break, playlists form the bedrock of the music industry and our own musical expression. 

So then, how best to harness this power? In the words of Rob Gordon (from the movie adaptation of Nick Hornby’s cult novel High Fidelity), “The making of a great compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many dos and don’ts. First of all, you’re using someone else’s poetry to express how you’re feeling. This is a delicate thing.” Because crafting the perfect playlist, “like breaking up, is hard to do, and takes way longer than it might seem”. (If you haven’t already read High Fidelity, there is no better time to enjoy the existential crisis of a broke record store owner and self-certified arsehole as he navigates love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzQwbRdh5Ts)

Whilst seemingly superficial, the terrifying truth is playlists go right to the heart of who you are and are unavoidably personal and subjective. Nevertheless, below are what I believe to be some essential considerations to this subtle art.

Theme. The theme (or concept, if you’re feeling meta) is perhaps the most crucial aspect of the process. It is the foundation, the string that binds your tracks together, conveys a message and ultimately gives the playlist existential meaning. In short, it is the reason for its creation. Broken hearted? The theme might be “songs my ex hates”, “I found love again” (if your ex still follows you on Spotify), “ballads of a broken heart”, “best songs to cry to”, the possibilities are endless. Nevertheless, it is important that every track relates to the theme in some way for the playlist to maintain a sense of coherence.

Content. If the theme of the playlist is the foundation, the content is all the fixtures and fittings, your brother, sister, parents and dog. It is everything to the making of a perfect playlist. Now is your time to shine, be it with a devout passion for Fleetwood Mac (guilty), a morbid addiction to Requiems, traditional Andean flute music, or One Direction’s greatest hits, guilty pleasures all welcome, whatever floats your or your listener’s boat deserves to be there! Again, don’t hesitate to include a mixture of genres, after all who doesn’t like to brag about their multifaceted taste too impressive to be categorised.

Length. Spotify claims a good playlist should be 40+ songs, adding enthusiastically “there’s no maximum though!”. That might do for your marathon training playlist, but if your goal is to inspire musical appreciation in your listener rather than just exercise-induced pain relief, a shorter playlist (c. 15 tracks) is more conducive to the type of considered listening required. This is especially relevant to the ‘recommendation playlist’ where it is crucial not to overwhelm the listener but to keep it short and sweet, engaging and leaving them wanting more.

Running Order. Whilst society mourns the demise of the meticulous artistry of the album now replaced by hit singles and streaming services, one characteristic feature of the album lives on, retaining considerable influence on the making of the perfect playlist; the running order. Easily overlooked and unappreciated, in allowing you to carve out a journey for the listener (much like its role in the album) the order is often imperative to the communication of the concept, and so, must be skilfully executed. To refer back to High Fidelity’s Rob Gordon “You’ve got to kick off with a corker, to hold the attention, and then you’ve got to up it a notch… there are loads of rules.” Kicking off with a corker is of obvious importance, but in fact the success of your playlist hinges on the second track. Like any successful TV series, which requires more than just a gripping pilot, in order to secure commitment the second track must be an affirmation of the playlist’s excellent quality throughout. Once this has been established the remaining tracks can be arranged by listening to the end and the beginning of neighbouring tracks and focusing on the type of transition you wish to achieve. Instructions for shuffle mode: NEVER. Pairing similar moods, instrumentation, genres, tempos, dynamics, or, if you want everyone to know you’re doing a music degree, modes, will form more seamless transitions than following, say, Miley Cyrus’ ‘The Climb’ (good song btw) with Metallica’s ‘Holier Than Thou’,  although there is something to be said for shock factor. 

Presentation. On the assumption that we’re all dipping into our trust fund for Spotify premium or Apple Music, we have the gratifying option of personalising our playlists with a photo and title. If you’ve made it this far you might as well give it an elusive or witty title that shows the rich variety of your cultural references. Bonus points/deduct points if it’s in another language. That said, ideally without making it the name of a track, the title should have some relevance to the playlist if you don’t wish to create unfulfilled expectations in your listener. The same rules apply for the photo; steer clear of gratuitous selfies. If the photo and title hasn’t completed your masterpiece, Spotify has a description box where you’re welcome to compose Latin elegiacs for your lover, or simply leave it blank and let the music speak for itself. 

With the basics covered, you now have the ‘privilege’ of hearing one I made earlier, a labour of love which took me longer to craft than to write this article.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0uqJlg8Xl11m3hi18NiL4H?si=RSITLbWtRxymrHtYC19YtQ

Review: Lost Horizon

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Of all the emotions that may be stirred in one during the current Coronavirus lockdown, tranquility is perhaps not the most obvious choice. Yet it is exactly how I have felt during my reading of James Hilton’s 1933 classic, ‘Lost Horizon’- enchanted tranquility. Now, I have never been cleared of the charge of being an escapist; and what better forms of escapism than to read about a remote, inaccessible monastery situated in the midst of a misty, mystified mountaintop, filled with thousands of books and many a musical virtuoso, set in a time when the general readership fantasised and fetishised about hitherto undiscovered treasures of the East that promised undreamt-of nirvana?

‘Lost Horizon’ is set in ‘Shangri-La’, the locus that inspired the eponymous hotel chain. Our current predicament bears many similarities to that of the central characters- their physical movements are more or less restricted; their companions drawn from a small, fixed group; and to put the cherry on top of the cake- the hero of the book, by the name of Conway, was himself a student at Oxford before WWI- a Greek scholar, a rowing Blue and a rising star at the Oxford Union. The four passengers of a helicopter flight tasked with transporting them out of the mutinied area of what was then British India has been hijacked by a stranger pilot and eventually delivered them to the secluded mountaintop on the Tibetan Plateau. Henceforth, two British colonial civil servants: Conway, the former star of Oxford, rather burnt out by the Great War, and his subordinate, Mallinson, an impatient young man yet to shed his school-boyish shell; and an inexplicably and facetiously chipper American and a missionary, Miss Brinklow, who is never surprised yet always slightly indignant, whilst quietly reconciling herself with what she regards as unmistakable Providence. The bewildered company found themselves at the ‘Shangri-La’, a hybrid place evocative of Medieval monasticism, Renaissance scholarship and Buddhist transcendentalism; with the added pleasure of moderate chastity and immoderate ownership of gold mines. 

It might shock the kindred spirit of the 21st century to hear that three of the four abductees settled contently into their new life. The American who goes by the name of Barnard has not even the worry of his closed ones finding his name amongst those declared missing. One eventually discovers that he is, in fact, a bankrupted financier of 1933 Wall Street, on the run from the seething authorities eager to apprehend the person whose face has become the personification of the woes of the Crash. Barnard is no stoic or hermit, but rather, a contended exile revelling in his serendipitous luck. Miss Brinklow, devoted to God and his mysterious ways, soon takes on the mission of evangelising the local heathens, starting with learning Tibetan. It might be fair to say that neither is exhibiting symptoms of Stockholm syndrome or outright insanity, but it would certainly be a stretch to claim that they were enthusiastically taken with this new life.

Yet, it is to the latter category that our fellow Oxonian Conway firmly belongs. Conway’s state post-WWI has been effortlessly encapsulated by the High Lama in the term ‘passionlessness’. The rage and the shock and the sensual indulgences that were once made more delicious by the sense of rebelling against authority and approaching death had eventually proved both exhausting and unsatisfying. Conway thenceforth retreated into the cocoon of his inner life, rarely disturbed by the ebbs and flows of intense emotions. He indulged inconclusively in romantic dalliances and kept few close friends during his ten years wandering around China. Instead, he harmonised his surroundings through his distant appreciation of what he perceived as mannered, controlled and delicately flavoured cultural and artistic life, rather like the flavour and texture of boiled jasmine rice.

Shangri-La offered the ideal environment in which haste is rendered undesirable by the realisation that time is in abundance, thus eroding any shred of guilt he may have previously experienced over frivolous and flippant pursuits. Here, scholarship is a leisurely exertion and the works of Mozart the subject of harmonious, sensual indulgences. The purity of the icy, mountainous landscape bestows upon one a purity of academic and spiritual pursuits. One strolls around, appreciating the clarity of the blue moon just as freely as the detail of exquisite Sung dynasty porcelain. What was once decidedly considered to be ‘laziness’ in Conway is given full expression in his new life, liberating him from the mundane daily minutiae of colonial administration to appreciate many a Proustian delight. 

This is intermittently disrupted by the desperate outbursts of the fourth character, Mallinson, who angrily tries to escape his imprisonment to return to civilisation. Mallinson proves the complete antithesis of whatever self-indulgent and self-deceiving acquiescence Conway may have exhibited – the former is unrelentingly factual whilst the latter steadfastly retreats into an inner world of intellectual fulfillment coupled with emotional detachment.

The book was an instant classic upon its publication in 1933 and many to this day enthuse over its unique ability to evoke the enchantingly ethereal landscape and the sense of quiet, spiritual exploration. Whatever this current generation may feel about the mysticism evoked by Oriental expeditions that gained so much currency in the twilight of Western imperialism, Conway’s quest to make the most of one’s circumstances and the quiet delight in inner peace shines through.

Oxford eight-week terms are a time for many things, but purity or tranquility perhaps not the most prominent ones. Coronavirus has no doubt meant a great deal of anxiety and displacement for many, but one may yet emerge from this period with gratitude for the life one has managed to forge for oneself during it. At a time when newspapers and Facebook walls are teaming with hysterical headlines and one scientific journal sound just as authoritative and headache-inducing as the next, there is perhaps virtue in embracing the prolonged immobile solitude and inactivity that one may never get a chance to experience again. In an age that relentlessly pursues increased productivity and increasingly unforgiving of the lack of overt striving, a capacity for organised and fulfilled inner life may be becoming an unappreciated commodity. But does its unappreciated status confer undesirability? I am here reminded of an anecdote recorded in the ‘Commentaries’ by the last of the Renaissance popes, Pius II, who has since been crystallised into history as the doomed commander of the Last Crusade- during one of his travels through the rustic countryside, the pope stopped and stooped beneath a goat to taste the fresh milk and marvelled at the joys of earthly existence. His entourage were shocked by his lack of display of formality or status but nonetheless quietly offered a helping hand. The pope, then plagued by gout and taxed with the precarious fortune of Christendom after a life of strenuous striving, discovered momentary relief.

Estate Birds

Rugged cracked concrete sighs
About the bleak,
The run down, deep
Into the town centre where I wander
Around aimlessly,
Pecking at the bin’s rejected rubbish
With other charcoal pigeons.

The old broken clock face
Clangs; we flap from early to mid-afternoon;
One hand gets bored of Two; a teen
Mother puts Baby in Buggy while we
Welcome a wingbeat of peace in a solemn tune
Within a punctured melody.

Our wings swipe their colour into clouds that hide
An autumn Sun, shining
Decadently behind a silver screen,
Not burning or blinding.
The fire here belongs on the leaves
That overhang branches like youth’s sweater sleeves,

And regular, flashing blue lights,
Set to hunt some flaming thieves.
Concern passes like trains in the night.
Spiders sneak across symmetrical orbs of smashed glass
Panes of a single-glazed window,
Silent shoals of drifting litter and a crow
From the builder next-door,
Who surveys crumbling bricks of old new-builds,
And listens to asses braying in the market.

A bowl – two bowls – a pound.
A thousand flowers
Splayed on the ground.
I don’t mean the flower stall.
Out here they live all for one and one for all;
Brutal towers have brutal rules.

A hooded council,
With no currency to coin but the awry cry
Of the unseen
Estate birds;
We scatter as you hurry by.

Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet

While the machine of commerce rumbles on, cynicism towards the smoke and mirrors of modern brand manoeuvrings is never too far from the media, or from everyday conversation. The changing face of advertising undoubtedly plays a part: fifty years ago, it was enough for companies to tie their products to a simple sense of satisfaction. In 1966, the first advertisement for ‘Hamlet’ cigars appeared, dreamed up by the Collett Dickinson Pearce agency: in each brief clip, a man caught in a sticky situation would light up a Hamlet and instantly feel relaxed. While whimsical setups like these are still de rigueur – think of the Tango ads launched in 2019 featuring a wisdom-bearing ‘Tanguru’ saving the day in awkward social mishaps – brands are under a new kind of pressure from consumers. If products can make us feel good, our heads are turned; if they can make us feel like good people, we elbow our way to the till.

When it comes to consumerism, the phenomenon of the ‘Easterlin Paradox’ has come to define how many social commentators connect purchase power and happiness. In 1974, University of Pennsylvania economics professor Richard Easterlin found that income and life satisfaction varied directly in developed and developing countries alike. This expected result, however, came with a hitch. As time went on and incomes continued to climb, happiness stopped increasing. It seemed that money could buy happiness – until you had enough of it. This paradox is often weaponised against rampant consumerism, seemingly proving that accumulating stuff won’t bring us joy. In more recent years, concerns about sustainability (meat-based junk food, fast fashion and plastic pollution among the sticking points) have escalated cultural condemnation of buying things for the sake of it: brands have had to adapt to consumer demand for more ethical-seeming products.

Over the past year, vegan versions of much-loved meaty fast foods have been rolled out nationwide. The way companies tackle the advertising of these new feel-good purchases becomes critical, as they jostle for position in the changing millennial market. At times, the handling of this new pressure can come across as somewhat jarring. Burger King’s advert for their ‘Rebel Whopper’, a plant-based version of their behemoth bestseller, centres around a bemused voiceover breaking character and asking why the chain should ‘bother’ if the vegan version tastes ‘just as good’. A hand leans into shot and spins around a soft drink cup, revealing the word ‘woke’ emblazoned on the side. One wonders how well the wokeness-taunting of a corporate giant responsible for the demise of more than a few cows will go down.

While this advertisement might be a little tongue-in-cheek, far-worse crimes have been committed by brands who’ve flogged the feel-good horse to its very last whinny. It’s news to nobody that Pepsi Max committed the biggest advertising faux-pas of all time in their 2017 ‘Live for Now’ campaign, which sees Kardashian Kendall Jenner fix police brutality by handing a cop a can of pop. The up-and-coming supermodel skulks in a shop door having her photo taken before glimpsing the generic protest (we have no idea what they’re demonstrating against, unless it’s the fact that they live in a dystopia wherein Pepsi-coloured clothes are mandatory), inexplicably snatching her blonde wig and joining the rightful cause, whatever it is. The bitter taste of this promotional misstep was well-documented on social media and in op eds the world over, to the point where Pepsi had to pull the ad within two days.

While the tanking of the campaign was catharsis in itself – and Jenner underwent public embarrassment akin only to opening a well-shaken can – the lingering discomfort of the whole affair lands resolutely at the doorstep of the consumer. Many wondered how the advert made it through several levels of executives to publication; what we should really be asking is why they thought we’d swallow it. If buying things won’t make you happy, feeling good about your purchases might: this has birthed a cynical new trend among lifestyle brands, which sees executives simply marketing our values back to us. What lies behind this increasing thirst for ethical consumerism? Why have even impulse buys become aligned with carefully considered and deeply sober world-views? The answer lies in the psychology of consumerism.

A universal truth of childhoods in late-capitalism is the existence of toy fads. Tamagotchis, Top Trumps and Lol Dolls: everyone remembers begging their parents for an overpriced piece of plastic, then rushing to school the next day to show it off. Then, as now, stuff confers status: psychologists have suggested that brand mentality encourages consumers to identify with the values associated with that brand (perseverance with Nike, or innovativeness with Apple). Seeing others sporting those favoured products makes it easy for us to mark out those that read from the same hymn sheet. While we are encouraged to compete among ourselves in paying extra for the privilege of status-conferring logos, we are vulnerable to the cynical pitching of such brands because we believe they connect us with others, and so form tribes based on apparent like-mindedness. The Caltech philosophy professor Steve Quartz has connected these modern consumer habits with those equivalents among our ancestors: ‘the very first shell necklaces some 70,000 years ago’ might have similarly been worn by particular members of a social group, and therefore have created factions that supposedly related to one another.

Where does this leave us? It’s clear that as time goes on, consumers become increasingly suspicious of advertising which unironically equates products with happiness. Post-financial crash and constantly amid political crises, it seems that big brands telling us to ‘open happiness’ (Coca Cola) or shell out to visit ‘the happiest place on earth’ (Disneyland) won’t fly like they once did. Cynicism towards brand ‘virtue-signalling’ is especially critical among consumers baffled by companies who dodge taxes seemingly without consequence. If brands can successfully remove the sheen of guilt from our consumer complexes by injecting campaigns with forced wokeness – as Pepsi decidedly failed to do – then materialism can, effectively, don a different hat and a pair of glasses and crack on. But it would pay to be wary of the feel-good fantasies increasingly conjured by big corporations. Where once we might have bought our own happiness, we’re now buying bigger dreams – but who really wins?

University intends to open in October, Vice-Chancellor states

An update from the Vice-Chancellor on Wednesday 6th of May announces that the University does intend to open in October, but raises the possibility that Michaelmas Term will not be run as normal. The notice also announces the creation of two new hardship funds to help students and staff affected by the pandemic.

In the statement, the Vice-Chancellor states the University “will be planning for Michaelmas term”, declaring intentions to open the University in October, although in a “changed world”. This means that social distance guidance and online teaching may continue into Michaelmas Term.

The Vice-Chancellor nevertheless emphasises that “as far as possible, we will preserve the face-to-face personalized education”, such as tutorials. Distancing measures are most likely to take place for group lectures and teachings.

They have announced they will adopt a policy of “test, trace and isolate” in order to allow for safety and normality in the new academic year.

The Vice-Chancellor has also announced two new hardship funds, one for students and one for staff, to aid those worst affected by the COVID-19 pandemic.

A “pilot program” to begin allowing on-site work in several departments is being developed as it is looking “increasingly likely” that the Government will begin loosening lockdown measures soon.

The University is also encouraging donations from individuals for both of these hardship funds and the research effort through the Development Office.

The statement gives further updates on the successful developments of the Oxford vaccine research, with its new partnership with pharmaceutical company AstraZeneca.

The University has been contacted for comment.

Image Credit to Prosthetic Head/ Wikimedia Commons

Queer in disguise: where sexual identity intersects costume

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While a male star may once have been able to wear an old wedding suit to the Oscar’s without anyone batting an eyelid, the increasing diversity in men’s fashion now continues to sensationalise the red carpet. From Timothée Chalamet’s harness-like ‘bib’ which exudes both glamour and rebellion, to Billy Porter’s floor-length gown that unapologetically demands for spotlight, queer culture is gradually trickling into Hollywood fashion, spoiling the world’s insatiable desire for more: more colours, more curves, more patterns. As LGBTQ+ equality movements gain momentum, the audience is no longer shocked by deviation from tradition. Yet how much of this extravaganza of pleats and tulle transfers to on-screen queer narratives?

In Levan Akin’s widely acclaimed drama And Then We Danced (2019), Irakli’s entrance into the film as one of the two protagonists is marked by a demanded change in his look: the dancer, who enters into a gay love affair over the course of the film, takes out his earring in a gesture of self-awareness when the trainer reminds him of where he works – the state-run National Georgian Ensemble, where homosexuality remains taboo. The story of a surreptitious relationship thus begins with the dancers’ disguise in heteronormative clothes. Yet a different set of costumes, with their transformative powers, offer the dancers a respite from constant camouflage. As Merab performs his last dance in his chosen costume – a billowing scarlet robe with a low V cut and decorative sequins– the intention to stretch the boundaries of masculinity presents itself without being provocative, since the item itself is accordant with the traditional Georgian dance costume design. The bold colour and delicate details accentuate the rebellious fluidity, which is channeled into the limber and effeminate dance movements. Reminiscent of Loie Fuller’s experimental use of fabric in Louis Lumière’s Danse Serpentine (1897), which remains an early example of gender stereotypes being challenged through the medium of dance, the dancer’s costume in the final scene is a muffled cry of protest. In this moment, unthinkable femininity is woven into tradition, pointing at a pre-existing harmony that the society around him denies. 

Akin’s exposition of the expressive quality of stage costume is not the first among LGBTQ+ films. In the biographical musical Rocketman (2019), Taron Egerton’s eighty-eight on-screen looks are strikingly flamboyant. Elton John’s ‘Dodgers outfit’ in the film, the only replica based on the musician’s 1975 stage outfit, is lavishly adorned with 140,000 Swarovski crystals, which complement the tight-fitting basketball uniform silhouette.  The crystals illuminate the singer in the spotlight. John is worshipped by a full stadium, untouchable from the censure in the world, surreal. The boundary between costume and every-day clothing is blurred in the film. In addition to oversized glasses and women’s jewellery, John is bathed by a kaleidoscope of rhinestones and sequins, creating an image of a conflicted artist who wraps himself up in colourful silk and animal patterns, overwhelming the eye with endless luxury to leave no room for criticism. It is camouflage of another kind, a shining armour that shields oneself from the world that is inexorably relentless. 

Instead of their original function to deceive, queer characters’ costumes work to disillusion. The experimentation with clothing, or the lack thereof, lends insight into their mechanism of existence in a world where every minority’s survival is hard-won. 

Reading Around the Lines: the Need for Data Literacy

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“Flatten the curve!” is the oft-quoted justification for social distancing. It’s a good one, and made more appealing because the graph is one we can easily understand. By changing the rate of infection we can prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed and making hard decisions about whom to save.

It is comforting in a crisis to trace curves, to track data, to feel like you’re on top of day-to-day changes in the situation. But this crisis has revealed a lack of true numerical literacy, among both the media and the general population.

On April 16, UK cases passed 100,000. It was a major milestone, yes. However, something that neither those reporting on it nor Public Health England mentioned was that finally cases had reached something of a linear growth rate: about the same number of cases were being reported per day, rather than that number steadily increasing.

More frustratingly, nowhere on the PHE site are “rates of change” mentioned. But they are crucial; it’s how you can understand whether the situation is, you know, changing. Our news sources do not report on it, partially because it’s less ‘click-baity’, and partially because neither the journalists nor the readers understand the concept properly.

Everyone—everyone—should know basic calculus. Calculus is derivatives and integrals–what happens if you look not at the curve, but how the curve is changing? This can be done for simple lines, for complicated polynomials, for exponential and linear functions. Less important than knowing the derivative of tan(x) though is that through calculus, you gain an intuitive apprehension of key concepts. If we understand the maths, we understand the process.

I am sure many of you have seen the option on COVID-19 graphs to switch to a logarithmic view. Logarithmic (log) functions are useful because exponential functions (that crazy wild curve up) are hard to eyeball. Log functions make them linear, something our brains can grasp. When the log function is a sloped line, you have a constant exponential increase. When it plateaus off, you have a linear increase. Knowing a decent amount of maths, I understand the relationship between a log and exponential function. But for people who do not, a log function does not actually make things easier to interpret, when that’s what it should be doing.

That interpretation matters. “100,000 cases” sounds terrifying. “Cases hold steady at 5000 per day” is reassuring, because that is a situation under control. Our hospitals can target their capacity to manage 5000 cases and reopen the nation in such a way that we remain at that level.

There are a dozen other important factors in this pandemic that maths is essential for understanding. What analyses are used to define at-risk populations? What is the time lag between exposures and cases and deaths? How important are the dangers of false positives in widespread antibody testing?  

The data we do not understand makes us more uncertain. Unless we can look at a graph and interpret it ourselves, we will fall prey to people trying to spin the situation, whether it is ‘this is the disease of the century’ or ‘this is no worse than a flu.’ 

More than questioning the media’s representation, we must critically examine the data itself. The more scientific terms exist in the title of a study (“serological tests”, “heparin dysfunction”, “qPCR” when I scanned through PubMed), the more likely we are to trust it, or perhaps to avoid thinking critically. Yet data, especially data published in a rush, is quite unlikely to be reliable. Science is constantly disproving itself, and that’s its greatest strength…when everyone is well-versed in the area of study and can pick apart flaws. But to most people, for whom science only emerges as headlines during a crisis, this is brushed aside.

Looking back at the H1N1, or swine flu, outbreak in 2009, three different studies ranged from 30% to 70% in their estimates of how many people had ultimately been infected by the strain. So how can we expect to have any reasonable amount of certainty on COVID-19? Sometimes, it is best to stop overanalysing the science and focus on delivering care to people who need it. 

There is also not always a “single answer”. Infection fatality rates, the ratio of infections to deaths, will not be the same worldwide even if every country had perfect screening. Infection rates depend on social distancing and population demographics. Fatality rates depend on quality of medical care. For example, in the Middle Ages the risk of death from the bubonic plague was 70%. Today, with modern antibiotics, the risk is only 5%. Diseases are context dependent. Parallels cannot be easily drawn between different situations, and for COVID-19, in a developing situation, we should be suspicious of not only the data but also heavy-handed attempts to contextualize it.

This means being wary of comparisons to the swine flu/Spanish flu/SARS/MERS/[insert plague of choice]. The virus shares features with all of them to a greater or lesser extent, but it is a separate emerging disease with an individual pathology.

This also means challenging the bodies publishing statistics. China avoided alerting the international community when COVID-19 first broke out; North Korea denies infection entirely. Though these are extreme examples, every governing body will have its own small biases. Bias and misrepresentation will become important again as pharmaceutical companies and universities (yes, even our own beloved institution) compete to bring a vaccine to the market.  

Statistics matter. Mathematical relationships matter. If you want to brush up, Khan Academy is a good place to start. We cannot all be epidemiologists, but we can know our maths and question data. Our ability to understand the world depends on it.

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Some helpful videos about the maths of COVID-19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kas0tIxDvrg one of the best videos for an overview

Logarithms specifically the videos on the log/exponential relationship

Logistic growth or the curve you see with COVID-19, and one of the most common models of growth in nature

Bayes’ theorem of conditional probability (video) which helpfully uses a flu metaphor, and will become important because of the likelihood of false positives in antibody testing