Monday 9th June 2025
Blog Page 620

It’s 9:30 pm. The cathedral is on fire.

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Around 9:30 pm local time on Monday, with the world watching in horror, Jean-Claude Gallet, commander general of the Paris Fire Brigade, declared that “the next hour and a half will be crucial” for determining whether the structure of Notre-Dame could be saved. I, along with millions of others watching, was forced to grapple with the very real possibility that in the next few moments the magnificent cathedral, an emblem of humanity’s capacity for artistic and spiritual achievement, might crumble to nothing before our very eyes.

At 9:30 pm I couldn’t help but wonder, will I never be able to take my future children there to pray? Will they grow up in a world in which Notre-Dame is nothing but a memory preserved only in photographs and history books?

The tears, the panic, the shock — these were all appropriately visceral reactions when confronted with the fragility of the greatest of human works. None of us had ever had to consider the thought that we might outlive Notre-Dame; a week ago, such an idea would have been patently absurd. But the Notre-Dame fire warns us of the dangers of our thoughtlessness: in the modern, developed world we have become so accustomed to the enduring stability of civilization that we have mistaken present stability for permanence.

But the world is increasingly unstable. As Greta Thunberg, the inspiring 16-year-old Swedish climate activist, said Tuesday in a speech to the European Parliament, our house is on fire, and we need to panic. An authoritative doomsday report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change sounded a fresh alarm last October, saying the world has only 12 years to radically alter the entire world economy to avoid some of the most catastrophic consequences of climate change.

As terrible as it may sound, Notre-Dame was in a way fortunate among UNESCO World Heritage Sites: the threat to its survival came swiftly and visibly, prompting immediate, uncompromising action. It was saved, and with money pouring in from all corners of the globe, it will be rebuilt. But the same cannot be said for other sites around the world. A changing climate, rising seas, more severe weather, and the social threats of climate-driven mass migration and conflict put the treasures of human civilisation at risk.

A recent report in Nature studying the 49 World Heritage Sites located in low-lying coastal areas of the Mediterranean — such as Venice, Ephesus, Dubrovnik, Pisa, and Tyre, to name just a few — found that “already today” 37 are at risk of catastrophic flooding and 42 are threatened by coastal erosion. These dangers are as real as a fire, yet because the destruction is occurring in slow motion, they receive none of the same attention as the fire of Notre-Dame.

If St. Mark’s Basilica in Venice were to catch fire, I imagine the worldwide reaction would be similar to that seen on Monday. Every effort would be made to save the spectacular and historically important church. But with the entirety of that fairytale city in danger of being submerged by rising seas unless we act now, the worldwide response is virtually nonexistent. Wealthy from tourism, Venice may (or, facing mismanagement and corruption, may not) be able to implement a colossally expensive system of barriers in its lagoon to avoid the worst of climate change, but other sites are not so fortunate.

The loss of cultural landmarks is only the tip of the melting iceberg. Whole cities and nations, whole species and ecosystems are being wiped out, some slowly and some more quickly, all while the world looks the other way. Perhaps it is our animal psychology that prevents us from seeing past the problems that are right in front of us. But isn’t our human intellect supposed to be able to overcome those baser instincts? Thunberg rightly implored European leaders to use “cathedral thinking” to see beyond the petty concerns of today and envision the bold steps that must be taken right now to build a civilisation that can endure for centuries.

The next 12 years will be crucial for determining whether the structure of human civilisation can be saved, for determining whether future generations will be able to see Venice and Ephesus, Shanghai and Mumbai, Miami and New Orleans, and my home city of Houston with their own eyes, or whether these will exist only in history books.

It is 9:30 pm, and the scientists of the world are telling us these are the final moments to save our cathedral.

It is 9:30 pm, and our politicians are nowhere to be found.

It is 9:30 pm, and our corporations continue throwing gasoline on the fire in their mad rush for profits.

It is 9:30 pm, and people, companies and countries congratulate themselves for fighting the fire with buckets instead of teaspoons, when what is needed is fire hoses.

It is 9:30 pm, and countries are wasting time squabbling over who will have to pay what to put out the fire.

It is 9:30 pm, and the people of the world go about their daily lives, downplaying, ignoring, or denying the reality of the danger.

It is 9:30 pm, and human civilisation, all that we have built, is burning down.

The clock is ticking. Where is our urgency?

Unstoppable and unassailable: Sean Scully is an artistic force of nature

Towards the end of Unstoppable: Sean Scully and the Art of Everything (BBC4), the acclaimed artist describes himself revealingly as “the left-wing Donald Trump of the art world.” Although there isn’t much that is “left-wing” about the rampant commercialism on display, we know what he means. This brilliant film shows how Scully, like the current president, is an embodiment of self-creation, whose unbridled ego, chutzpah, and endless self-publication has helped him singlehandedly forge a place in history; but whose legacy will perhaps best be judged after the passage of time.

Although we are given some perspective on the artist, thanks to comments from critics, curators, and gallerists, the chief contributor is Scully himself. The film works by allowing us to see through the carapace of his proclaimed self-belief, his fortress-like self-aggrandisement, and his apparent indifference to the opinion of others, to reveal what he is most protective of: the fragility of his reputation and the judgement of posterity.

The film opens with split-screen images of the boiler-suited artist work in the present day, broad brush in hand and liberally sloshing horizontal stripes onto a large canvas. He stands alone within his cavernous studio. Underscored by the fifties hit ‘Softly Softly’, Scully’s very different formative years are evoked in counterpoint. Looking for all the world like a particularly aggressive plasterer (a pre-celebrity occupation he briefly held), Scully is shown provocatively as taking little care about the application of paint. His brush strokes splatter the walls either side, the effect almost echoing some bloody crime scene (he later describes his paintings as “knockabout” and “rough and ready”).

This is cleverly intercut with scenes from a 2018 Phillip’s auction in London, where the bidding for his Landline Green Sea quickly escalates to £1m. Although since the days of Jackson Pollock, we have become accustomed to disentangling notions of care, effort, craft, and time from what justifiably constitutes ‘Art’, it is nevertheless arresting to see what is apparently so casually created achieve such astronomic value. This is essentially a film biography that shows us how this trick is achieved, through Sean Scully’s performance of his artist-as-persona. The character presented to us is as much a part of the finished artwork as the pigment on the canvas.

The cameras follow Scully as he revisits the places of his infancy, from the poverty and squalor of his early years in Dublin, to teenage gang membership in Highbury, all sharply contrasted with his current day-to-day life of constant international air travel for retrospectives, sales, and general Scully PR. The self-mythologising is relentless: “from Inchicore to his own private jet”, Scully comments at one point, as if to underscore the trajectory of this narrative of hardships overcome and establishments confounded.

At the time of filming, there were fifteen exhibitions of his work around the world, and the film quotes one critic on Scully as “the greatest living artist of our time.” His undoubted success is described more than once as miraculous; there is something of the divine implied in this astonishing achievement. The film shows us that it is Scully’s drive that is most responsible for his success, and it is this Trumpian quality – this ability to promote and spin, to argue, to implacably persevere despite setbacks – that has propelled him onto what William Feaver describes as his “meteoric streak.”

The film itself serves as a career retrospective, presented as a series of artistic epiphanies. The first occurs when he sees Van Gogh’s Chair at The National Gallery, where he comments “it’s so simple even I can do it.” Much later, his predilection for stripes and grids is born after exposure to Islamic art and pattern on a trip to Morocco. Rejected by more prestigious art schools, Scully finds a place at Croydon School of Art, and is inspired by the German expressionist Kirshner.

He later moves to Newcastle University where he reports himself as more preoccupied by the space he is given – his “real-estate” – than he is with anything else. With the commandeering of a corridor at Newcastle begins his relentless desire for the monopoly of space. His frequent and generous donations to galleries (interestingly often suggested by the artist, rather than the institution), his retention of work to facilitate exhibitions and retrospectives, and even his learning Spanish in order to gain sway over Latin American markets, all speak of a desire to mark territory – to achieve dominion over it.

Above all, Scully is a salesman. He enjoys the schmoozing of openings. Unlike other artists, he’s sociable, fit (we see him still practising martial arts at the age of 73), and he charms the camera and his audiences with his down-to earth, deliberately unrarefied language (“enough of this shit” he says at one point, when he recalls his desire to “return abstraction to the people””. He is also suitably disparaging about the London art scene in comparison to the USA, where his aggression feels more at home.

But this apparent democratising instinct towards art appears to be a cover for a more hard-headed commercial savviness and a sensitivity to the fickleness of art fashion. After success in the mid-eighties, Charles Saatchi offloaded eleven of Scully’s pieces which the artist describes as akin to the dumping of shares in the stock market. Painting had lost out to conceptual art, and one critic described his work as “like very expensive wallpaper.”

Typically, Scully claims not to have cared, and feeds off the opposition to his output. He is determined to be regarded as “the greatest abstract artist of my generation” (despite the opinion of his former student Ai Wewei, who inconveniently thinks Scully’s earlier work was better than his current offerings). Through a process of clever control over supply and demand, combined with an ability to sell himself, Scully is shown to have re-made his career and reputation.

The film is strong on biographical detail but doesn’t dwell on the art itself. We are given brief ‘art-speak’ disquisitions: the paintings represent “mute eye music that finds tranquillity amid the chaos … a sounding board for the soul”, but, perhaps deliberately, we aren’t given much more on their essential artistic quality. The viewer is left to question whether this is because the life is more interesting than the work.

Is shallowness the point, particularly when we learn that the canvases are the perfect shape for an iPhone? In the end, the programme acts as an exposé of the 21st century art market, of art as a career choice or as a business, and in this way echoes Netflix’s recent satire Velvet Buzzsaw. Scully is at various points compared to Turner, Warhol, and Matisse, and yet tellingly, at no point are the more obvious comparisons made – to Rothko or Hodgkin – perhaps because such comparisons would be inimical.

William Feaver makes the most insightful comment when he describes Scully’s self-belief as based on self-doubt; he argues that Scully’s character would collapse if he wasn’t a great artist. As with Donald Trump, the observer is left to wonder at what so much front and output is really about, or what it compensates for. There is no doubt that Scully is an artistic global phenomenon – but, as the film asks and leaves open to its viewers, is his work any more than an empty expression of his own unstoppability?

Unstoppable: Sean Scully and the Art of Everything is available on BBC iPlayer. Scully’s new exhibition Sea Star is at the National Gallery until 11th August.

Oxford shopkeeper imprisoned for selling fake cigarettes

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A local shopkeeper has been sentenced to twelve months in prison after being charged with selling fake cigarettes.

Karzan Rostam, who owned Cowley Road Department Store on Cowley Road near St Hilda’s, pled guilty to 25 charges of supplying or possessing fake cigarettes totalling around £5,000.

His shop was raided by the county council on May 20th 2018, and on July 18th of the same year. Both raids discovered illegal cigarettes and tobacco, mainly hidden behind a false wall in the property’s kitchen.

It is the third time he has been convicted for similar offences. He served a four-month jail term in 2016.

Fake cigarettes have been found to include pesticides, arsenic, and rat poison, with an estimated 45 billion smoked every year. Jody Kerman, Oxfordshire County Council’s Trading Standards operations manager, said: “This sentence sends a strong message to anyone thinking about getting involved in the illegal tobacco trade… this public health menace.”

Alongside four months imprisonment for offenses under the Standardised Packaging of Tobacco Products Regulations and the Tobacco & Related Products Regulations, and eight months imprisonment under the Trade Marks Act, Rostam has been fined £600 and ordered to pay £1,500 in costs.

Have you heard of Al-Aqsa?

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The front pages of Tuesday’s papers were awash with images of France’s iconic cathedral ablaze. From The Telegraph’s emotive “Paris weeps for its beloved lady” to The Sun’s less than poetic “Notre Doom”, the almost apocalyptic pictures were a field day for editors everywhere.

Overnight a story of despair transformed into one of hope and renewal: with over €500 million pledged to the restoration of the site in a matter of hours, France once again was a nation united through tragedy.

With the knowledge that everything was going to be alright, columnists everywhere got the green light to start offering their own perspectives on the fire. From The Spectator gleefully calling it symbolic of Macron’s premiership, to the Daily Express excitedly reminding us the Palace of Westminster could be next; by 5pm we had a full on dick measuring contest on our hands for who could offer the hottest take on the tragedy (no irony intended).

Fox News commentator Glenn Beck offered some particularly cretinous thoughts on the subject: “If this was started by Islamists, I don’t think you’ll find out about it.” Cheers Glenn, insightful take there – albeit an incredibly damaging conspiracy theory. What Beck didn’t know, probably unaware that life existed beyond the Fox newsroom and his nearest Burger King, was that the Muslim world experienced a second fire on Monday as well.

Al-Aqsa, considered to be the third holiest site in Islam, was also set ablaze, in an event that went seemingly unreported in the European press.

Dating to the eighth century, Al-Aqsa makes Notre Dame look like the new kid on the block of the spiritual world. The domed ceiling of the mosque is thought to be where the prophet Muhammed ascended into heaven – 200 years before the first bricks were even laid in Paris. However, let’s avoid overly simplistic comparisons between the two tragedies (incidentally, the only coverage Al-Aqsa received), but rather ask how two very similar events could be reported so unequally.

No one would doubt the fire at Notre Damn was worse, Al-Aqsa being extinguished by authorities in a fraction of the time, and the damage being far less severe than in Paris. The significance of the site in the Islamic world must surely warrant some international coverage though, a comparative event at Christian site would never be so poorly reported on.

The two events expose our ignorance of world heritage outside of our comfort zone. Every one of us could name St Peter’s in the Vatican, St. Paul’s in London, or St. Basil’s in Moscow, but as soon as we leave our European bubble our knowledge of the world’s cultural heritage sharply declines. It’s not surprising when from primary school onwards we’re taught the Tudors, the Battle of Hastings, and the French Revolution – all remarkable events, but a localised fraction of our global history. Sites which are at the centre of socio-cultural life in non-Christian countries we remain ignorant of, taught through a curriculum which regurgitates the same history learnt a generation prior, too afraid or simply too lazy to expand beyond the same handful of topics.

If as a European community we can raise half a billion euros for the restoration of one religious building overnight, its not much to ask for us to be better informed on another.

How to spot a Northerner – a handy guide

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We’ve all heard legends of them. The mythical, aggressively friendly, Greggs-eating species of humans that populates the hills and valley of the uppermost reaches of our country. The Northerner. I can only imagine the fear that some of you must have felt coming to Oxford, and seeing these beings in the wild – making eye contact on public transport, chanting “Yorkshire, Yorkshire” at any public event after they’ve had a pint, and eating alien cuisine like the fabled chicken parmo. But fear not, I, a reformed Northerner, am here to teach you how to identify these fearsome beings and endure their alarming behaviours. Read on for top tips on how to survive.

IN THE PUB

Frequenting pubs in Oxford is often a traumatising experience for the Northerner. Raised in a blessed land where a pint of lager for more than £3.50 is ‘a bit steep’, the cost of a round at Turf is enough to bring us to tears. Indeed, accidentally spending £11.70 on a pint of Pimm’s at the Boat Race (yeah you read that right) is possibly the most traumatic thing that has happened to me in almost twenty years on this planet, and I still occasionally wake in a cold sweat thinking about it. It’s easy to spot a Northerner at the pub by watching to see them go through the stages of grief when ordering at the bar, or later in the night drowning their sorrow in a pint with faint mutterings of how much they miss their local. You can usually distract the grieving northerner with a pork pie – many of us were raised solely on them from a young age. However, if this does not work I would advise you to leave the situation as soon as possible, and not to engage with the distraught being, however pitiful they may appear.

ON THE BUS

It always takes me a few days to adjust to the public transport in the North of England when returning from the Oxford Bubble. Partly this is because it’s appalling (I’m writing this from a Hull Trains carriage that’s squeaking like an angry mouse and has holes in all the seats), but also because of how chatty everyone is. I’m used to putting in my headphones and expecting to talk to no-one except the bus driver (always say thank you to the driver boys and girls), but that’s borderline impossible in some places. If you’re on a bus, train, or other assorted vehicle and someone starts up a conversation out of the blue, they’re almost certainly from the north. All I can say is persevere, my brave anti-social southerners, because I do feel your pain with this one. We’re mostly harmless, and you can always pretend that you don’t speak English as a final resort. Once again follow the three Hs – head down, headphones in, hide from the scary social interactions.

AT CLOSE QUARTERS

If I had a pound for every time my vocabulary and/or (not particularly strong) accent has confused someone down here, I’d be able to buy as much overpriced Pimm’s as my heart desired. We northerners have developed our own secret words used to disorientate and confuse the poor defenceless Southerner in order to trick them into paying for our drinks – it’s nothing short of an evolutionary survival method. When faced with such terrifying words as ‘nowt’ ‘summat’ or ‘scran’, there are several key survival methods you can employ. My recommendation is to introduce a debate about the pronunciation of scone, call the Arctic Monkeys overrated and see them meltdown, or if all else fails curl yourself firmly into the foetal position until the Northerner becomes bored and ceases to converse. 

Hopefully this short but very serious guide to interacting with Northerners will make your life more bearable. As I hope you have realised whilst reading this article, I would never approach such a frightening and difficult topic with anything but the most sincere words and I look forward to my ground-breaking research on the topic being continued by other academics. Maybe one day we will live in a world where Northerners and Southerners can live side by side without such horrific divides… but until then, stay strong.

Magdalen College library to host exhibition celebrating the “early pioneers of diversity at Oxford”

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The exhibition – ‘Making History: Christian Cole, Alain Locke, and Oscar Wilde at Oxford’ – will focus on the three figures and their “shared histories” as “Oxford’s queer, black, and first generation undergraduates.”

The event focuses on Christian Cole, the University’s first black African undergraduate, Alain Locke, the first African-American Rhodes Scholar and “godfather” of the Harlem Renaissance, and Oscar Wilde, the “great Irish wit and dandy”. Cole studied at University College, Locke at Herford, and Wilde and Magdalen.

The exhibition will “draw these exceptional men together by “showcasing rare archives”. The college website states the aim as to “allow the public a unique glimpse at the documents and drawings that bear witness to these remarkable young men’s lives and times.”

Magdalen College is showcasing the exhibition in the college’s Longwall Library. It is part of a pan-Oxford event series with involvement by Univeristy, Hertford, and Mansfield colleges alongside Magdalen.

Curators include Univ librarian Elizabeth Adams, Magdalen librarian Daryl Green, and Associate Professor of English and Tutorial Fellow at Mansfield, Dr Michéle Mendelssohn. The exhibition is based on the latter’s biography of Oscar Wilde: Making Oscar Wilde.

The exhibition will begin with with a free launch party and salon with the curators on 9 May at Magdalen. It runs until October, and is available to all College members as well as to visitors by appointment.

Other events include lectures on Alain Locke and Christian Cole and a “Black Oxford walking tour”, inspired by Pamela Roberts’s book Black Oxford.

For more information, click here.

‘If We Were Villains’: Caught in long shadow of ‘The Secret History’

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A group of students studying a notoriously cliquey subject at arts college become embroiled in guilt after the death of one of their number, a secret which threatens to tear them apart. No, I’m not describing Donna Tartt’s emblematic novel The Secret History, about a group of pretentious classics students: instead this is If We Were Villains, a 2017 novel by M.L. Rio, about a group of Shakespeare-obsessed actors.

A large problem with If We Were Villains, in fact, is that it rests in The Secret History’s long shadow. This could perhaps be excused if the reader’s expectations weren’t set up that way going in: but it’s all there from the start, from the testimonial on the front which begins ‘Like Donna Tartt’s A Secret History…’ to the cover which pays a striking homage to the 1992 classic.

But there is something intensely compelling about ‘dark academia’, a phrase which I’ve seen coined for this unique ‘pretentious-students-killing-their-classmates’ genre. It’s something which feels particularly pertinent at Oxford, a university which carries that same feeling of competition and claustrophobia. You can almost feel the suspense when a tute partner doesn’t turn up, even if in real life they’re more likely to have overslept than died or been hospitalised through drug overdose, which seems to be the norm in these books. As a world which seems one wrong step away from our own, it’s intensely compelling. You can accept the similarities: the problem is in the execution.

The central conceit of Rio’s book is that each of the seven theatre students is continually typecast in a single role: the hero, the villain, the ingenue, the femme fatale. These tropes are acknowledged within the novel itself – a little too explicitly for my taste – which suggests there will be an eventual role-reversal, a point at which the audience’s expectations will be subverted. Unfortunately, Rio exaggerates rather than inverts the tropes which she sets up at the start. As a result, each character  either feels two-dimensional or inadequate, their assigned role either going too far in defining their character or failing to quite fit.

For example: ‘femme fatale’ Meredith, despite being scathing and whip-smart, never enters the scene without her ‘curves’ being described (usually under a slinky dress). Meanwhile, our protagonist, Oliver (the ‘sidekick’) is continually described as a ‘nice guy’ by this friends, but actually strikes me as rather unlikeable: he stirs up group tension rather than defuses it, and at one point he shows too little upset when a family member falls ill. It’s not a real inversion of the role he’s been put in – it’s an inconsistent characterisation.

Similarly problematic is the continual quoting of Shakespeare. “He speaks the unspeakable,” Oliver says. “He turns grief and triumph and rapture and rage into words, into something we can understand.” The Shakespearean quotations are a wonderful shorthand for the student actors, but unfortunately this understanding doesn’t transfer to the reader. The same language which makes the students appear cliquey and isolated also comes at the cost of alienating the audience: the references are too long and too frequent, and their lack of explanation often distracts rather than adds to the scene. A reader who understands the symbolism of Hamlet or The Tempest will probably find a lot of hidden meaning, but it’s not enough to present those quotations without context and assume the audience will understand their significance. 

It’s a shame, as when the narration steps outside of the early modern period it proves compelling. The novel is exacting in its description of the minutiae of college life – people conspicuous by their absence, and the gradual closing-in of the police investigation. What Rio doesn’t quite capture, however, is the sense of growing guilt, of the slow descent into madness which made Tartt’s book what it was. None of the group regrets the death of their former friend, nor can the audience blame them – rather than subtly psychological, the violence is visceral (broken noses, bruised arms, smashed-in faces), and tied up in a none-too-subtle Julius Caesar metaphor. This means the second half cruises along without much direction, the group feeling vague paranoia without the moral ambiguity needed to give it any substance. 

Rio’s novel does track the group’s dissolution fairly well, noting the cracks and re-alliances which form in the group skilfully, but there’s less a sense of the group tearing themselves apart and more of a catapulting into madness. I find it hard to believe simply rearranging the roles in a play can have that much influence on one’s personality. There are, however, surprising twists. Although I guessed the murderer, the murdered took me by surprise – and even then, I didn’t expect the final-act reveal, even with hints present throughout. 

The one area where Rio’s novel really comes into its own is in its exploration of romance, through a wonderful relationship which introduces some of the most poignant scenes of the book. Although not concluded on a fully satisfactory note, it does allow some genuine intrigue and pathos to be introduced, which up until that point are absent. When the emotional stakes are raised – and they certainly are – the novel reaches its most captivating. It’s certainly a compelling story and is written with luxurious eloquence, but If We Were Villains at times lacks substance and too often falls into the stereotypes it wants to avoid.

‘Just Good Friends’

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Can have sex someone and still be just friends with them in the morning? Does it ever really work out? Is a broken heart guaranteed? I can’t answer these questions for your specific situation, however, I can tell you about my experience, and how we are still friends to this day, both with our respective hearts intact. 

Before I dive in to my story and how I happened upon this particular arrangement, I think an Urban Dictionary definition may be in order for complete understanding. 

Friends with Benefits: 

             Two good friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically, two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment. 

(see also) 

                  Two close friends who think it would be a good idea to have sex, until one falls in love and gets their heart broken when the other doesn’t want a relationship. 

So, being Friends with Benefits doesn’t actually sound that beneficial does it? Our understanding is mainly inspired by Hollywood and the unrealistic portrayals of perfect people falling in and out of perfect love. In fact, most films will either sell you the idea that being FWB with someone will lead to you being desperately alone and crying under the neon lights of some city street lamp, or that you and this *(presumably) guy will fall in love and never leave each other’s sides ever again. In fact, Hollywood’s biggest (and most well-kept) secret is that there is actually a third option: sleeping with a friend and remaining just that; friends. 

‘How is it possible??’ I hear you screaming. Well, it’s actually kind of simple. But, before we get into that, let me give you a bit of my story, and how it’s helping me to write this article. 

I first met this particular friend around 2 years ago. We worked for the same place, although had slightly different jobs so I’d only see him on lunch breaks or the occasional clean-down. He was also quite a good friend of my family and we eventually fell into the same friend circle. At first, I will admit I had a crush on him. Every girl he came into contact with swooned at his feet, and he knew it. Not in an arrogant way, just in the way that he knew you were wrapped around his finger, and he’d laugh at you in conversation, eyes glinting as the smile worked its way up his face. He strutted about in sleeveless tops in the summer months, effortlessly showing off the type of muscles that were only built by hard manual labour. His skin was permanently tanned, and he was the type of guy who went on beach crawls to clear rubbish from the shores and took two-moth long trips to Africa to help with conservation and live in the wild. We nicknamed him ‘Jungle Boy’ and he lived up to every inch of the name. You probably have an image of him in your head by now, and you’re wondering how I’m still not helplessly in love and heart-broken by this guy. In fact, it might sound even less plausible if I was to tell you that, at the beginning, I was pretty much in love with him. But this feeling wore off, not in a negative way, just in the sense that I realised why we’d never be good as an actual couple but worked well as friends that sometimes slept together. 

I knew from the beginning he was a ladies man, obviously. And I knew from rumour that he did tend to leave a trail of broken hearts behind him. So, I kind of recognised what I was getting myself into, and I made the conscious effort to keep my brain from romanticising things. At first, this was more difficult, and I was left feeling a little empty when he’d leave with a quick kiss on the lips (out of politeness I always felt) and a smile as he closed the door behind him. When I’d see him later on that morning, in work, I would always fumble for something to say and I felt like I had to re-train myself in our friendship. Of course, at some point all of our other friends found out about our unspoken agreement, but it was never really brought up. It was almost like they were avoiding the subject, waiting to see my heart get broken. 

However, I noticed, the more he stayed over, the less I wanted him to. I still loved his company, but I didn’t like the expectation of sex anymore. I knew his moves, knew what he was asking without saying it. He’d walk me home, an arm around my waist, or rest a hand on my knee whilst he was talking to me. The first (and last) time he slept the night, I couldn’t wait for him to leave, purely because I wanted my own company. Our agreement was never formally dissolved, but he doesn’t hang back after the rest of our friends leave after a party anymore. And I don’t want him to. I’m happy with what happened between us, but I’d never want anything more. We are two puzzle pieces who weren’t intended to fit the picture that way, despite Hollywood stereotypes. 

So, how do you survive the same thing? My biggest tip would be to friend-zone them in your head and your heart before you begin anything sexual. If you can’t bear to think of them with someone else or think that they’ll fall in love with you over time you’re already in too deep and you will get hurt. No doubt about it. 

Only go as far as you’re comfortable. Set boundaries, protect the friendship over greedy bodily desires. But, most importantly, have fun! Being friends-with-benefits can be an amazing thing, if you keep it at just that. 

*This article is based on a heterosexual understanding of the term, and in no way means to suggest other variations of the male/female friendship can’t also occur. However, this is based off of purely my experiences. 

Springtide Festival to return in May

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Springtide Community Festival will return on Sunday 5th May, the SU has announced. Springtide is “a community focused family-friendly festival that aims to bring the student and non-student community for the day of music, fun and adventure”.

The festival, which will be held in University Parks between 11am and 7pm, will showcase local music, a mini farm and food and drink from across the world. It will be free to attend.

The event is being hosted by Oxford SU to “help integration between students and long tern residents”. The SU also hopes it will “encourage students to give back something to the city they call home by donating their time and skills to help run it and more importantly to have fun.”

The live music will include performances from Pangolin, Lavender Boy, Stolen Mic, the Oxford Commas and the Young Woman’s Music Project.

Alongside music, there will also be a variety of food from companies such as Jericho Coffee Traders, Frank’s Burgers, My Japanese and Vegan Ethiopian available.

There will also be a fully-licensed bar.

People can also sign up to participate in five-a-side football, with matches for kids, men and women taking place across the day.

Oxford artist and masters student claim responsibility for Rad Cam climate protest

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Artist and Oxford student Georgia Crowther has claimed responsibility for the protest piece placed on the Radcliffe Camera. Speaking to Cherwell she said “I joined up with some brilliant people who propelled my sculpture to send out a pro-climate change message.”

“I teamed up with the nightclimbers and Kaya Axelsson, an activist who is studying her PhD in Climate Policy. My sculpture, the catalyst for our protest is a Climate Human. It consisted of an array of recycling and reached the public sphere through a strategic operation…”

The protest piece consists of a human figure made of recycled rubbish, placed high on the side of the Radcliffe Camera. The figure is accompanied by a sign that reads “WHAT HEIGHT WOULD YOU GO 2 4 THE WORLD// OX RISE UP”.

Speaking about her piece, Crowther told Cherwell “If we alter our environment we will impact others and protect our future. We all walk this Earth, a place with a kaleidoscope of natural attributes.

“However, the catastrophic current situation of industrialisation and our selfish behaviour means that the trees, the oceans, the animals, the air and people are unprecedentedly fragile and suffering.

“We must change, and many have addressed this and acted accordingly, but a nudge is still needed. As an artist, I find it’s my duty to provide this nudge by altering our environment for the good of the planet.

“Being random and crazy can go a long way. I joined up with some brilliant people who propelled my sculpture to send out a pro-climate change message. I teamed up with the nightclimbers and Kaya Axelsson, an activist who is studying her Masters in Climate Policy.

“My sculpture, the catalyst for our protest is a Climate Human. It consisted of an array of recycling and reached the public sphere through a strategic operation in conjunction with the Oxford Nightclimber’s [sic], who bravely hoisted the sculpture to their perch on the Rad Cam.

“Sometimes, everyone needs a new perspective. We just hope our trash man alarmed and warmed the souls of those who passed by. As people we can use any form of creativity to go above and beyond simply recycling in the fight for the environment. We can use the psychedelic exploration of a gentle protest that was worth the all-nighter. Keep an eye out for more.”

Collaborator Kaya Axelsson also commented on the protest stating that “We wanted people to ask themselves what more they would do if they thought that the whole world was at stake.”

“And we wanted to break up people’s daily routine and get them to start thinking creatively about what they can do.

“I’m actually co-planning an event next term at Oxford for people want to go beyond individual action and take ambitious action on climate change. It’s called Beyond Individual Action.

“The use of political pranks has a long and important history in social movements. The doll-like figure takes inspiration from rebels in in Ukraine, who during a protest ban in the 2000’s, once placed little dolls around a town squares with dissident signs which later got humorously “arrested” by police.

“The public question also goes back to the tradition of the ancient cynics, who used to perch in central public places, interrupting passersby with challenging ethical questions. Most of all though we are so incredibly inspired by the youth climate movement, which has done so much in recent months to question the ‘realities’ tacitly accepted by ‘adults’.”

The event follows a series of international climate protests, led principally by the Extinction Rebellion movement. Key areas of Central London were blocked by activists, including Piccadilly Circus and Waterloo Bridge.

Mass arrests were made early on the morning of the 16th, with over 120 Extinction Rebellion members being removed from their protest sites.

The Oxford branch of Extinction Rebellion also joined the movement in London, blocking Edgware Road with a contingent from Southampton.

Earlier in April the Oxford Climate Justice Campaign and Cambridge’s Zero Carbon were prevented from carrying out a banner drop at the boat race by police.

Cherwell has contacted the Bodleian Libraries for comment.