Saturday, May 24, 2025
Blog Page 827

He couldn’t make them come. He didn’t make us laugh.

Rosie Duthie
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He couldn’t make them come. He didn’t make us laugh.

“I couldn’t make any of these wonderful women come…”

Distasteful. Derogatory. Dismissed, as if nothing was wrong.

Ask Alex Salmond if he supports equality between the sexes, and he will tell you yes. No doubt, feminist Nicola Sturgeon will say the same. But ask the former First Minister of Scotland to apologise for his joke about having sex with female politicians, and you will be disappointed. Ask his successor to criticise his dismissal of the issue, and you will remain so.

“He is not sexist,” said the First Minister in defense of her former colleague who made the joke during his sell-out show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival this year. The closest her remarks came to criticism was: “Occasionally Alex is not as funny as he thinks he is”, to which she added that the joke may belong more in “the Benny Hill era” than our own.

Twitter took a less ambivalent view of the situation. 140 character retorts came flying as some expressed disgust, others anger, more dismay. The words “gross” and “sexist” became the favourite descriptors of the former political star. Labour MSP Monica Lennon joined the defiance, demanding that Salmond apologise: “It would set a horrendous example to young men if he tries to hide behind these sexist comments as risqué humour.”

The joke itself was bad; outdated, unacceptable, and unamusing. It is almost unthinkable that a modern day politician would condone a boss joking about having sex with their former colleagues. It may not have been intended to degrade the women who have broken into chauvinistic circles and defied the odds to assume their positions in the modern world, but it did. Girls saw their role models spoken of in crude terms, and everyone saw a reputable public figure setting the precedent for making degrading statements.

Salmond should have dealt with the upset instantly. An apology would easily have quelled the unrest. A clear statement could have calmed those worried about him setting bad examples. But where Salmond failed to live up to his responsibility as a public figure, there should have been an effective response. And there was not.

Sturgeon was wrong to defend Salmond. Upon his refusal to apologise, it became her duty to step in. Not to call him sexist, or even “too blokey” as she has in the past. Simply to demand an apology, and to refuse to be spoken of in such a degrading context. It was her job set another example: to tell women they deserve to be respected, by everyone – even those who fancy themselves as standup comedians.

Surely, then, Lennon gave a successful response. Unlike Sturgeon, she called Salmond out. Unlike Sturgeon, she stood up for feminism. But making such strong accusations of sexism let the focus shift from the questionable nature of what Salmond had said to the defence of his character. When someone is accused of any form of discrimination, they and those around them become defensive. Friends will jump to their aid. Whether to defend her party or her former colleague, Nicola Sturgeon did just that. And she was able to. “Scottish Labour are just miffed they didn’t get a mention,” was the “witty” response from Alex Salmond’s spokesperson. “It’s the Edinburgh Fringe we are at, not fringe politics with Labour.”

A self-deprecating joke about Salmond’s sex life quickly escalated into a debate about sexism. Yet nobody managed to state the simple facts: Salmond made an inappropriate comment and is not at liberty to ignore his responsibility to apologise. Instead, Lennon’s argument faded into the backdrop as she allowed herself to be painted as exaggerating for political gain; and Nicola Sturgeon rose to Salmond’s defence where she should have appreciated his wrongdoing. In the end, there was no consensus, and where the matter is sexism, there always should be.

This scenario, borne of a joke at the Fringe, serves as an important reminder. We cannot let sexism go unchallenged. A comment made by the most fervent of feminists is not automatically acceptable. And where we challenge them we must do so in a direct and effective manner. It is a sad fact that party politics is often the driving force behind accusations of discriminatory behaviour and determines how it is treated. Let us show our politicians that we expect better. Make them lead by example. Make them approach issues of discrimination head on. Make them join us in the fight for equality.

Baby Blues review – ‘gripping, entertaining and tragic’

Isabella Rooney
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Baby Blues review – ‘gripping, entertaining and tragic’

Not often do I find myself stood in a rowdy pub on a Sunday night, surrounded by football fans and trying not to burst into tears. Nestled above the noisy crowd, Camden’s Etcetera Theatre provides the space for Fleet Productions’ impressive performance of ‘Baby Blues’.

Lily Kuenzler’s newly-written play deals with post-natal depression in a unique and touching way, exploring a couple’s struggle to cope in the ensuing months after a traumatic birth. ‘Baby Blues’ cleverly describes both Katie’s (Shannon Hayes) experience of depression, as well as the crudely-painted blue plastic baby she very unexpectedly gives birth to in the first scene, used as a metaphor for her despair.

This marriage of laughable absurdity and stirring emotion holds true for the play in its entirety. Seeing characters cradle and coo at a blue plastic doll is a bizarre sight, impossible to get accustomed to for the hour-length performance. It makes us laugh in parts, whilst also reinforcing the persistence of Katie’s depression at every point. One of the most poignant scenes begins cheerfully, as the audience laughs at the ridiculousness of seeing a woman pretend to love a doll. In this lies the brilliance of the production: we see what Katie sees. ‘Baby Blues’ capitalises on the natural hesitance of audiences to suspend their disbelief when props strain credulity, and uses this to provide a window into the experience of postnatal depression.

Also effective was the juxtaposition created between Katie’s withdrawal and the liveliness of the other characters. Keir Aitken and Farran Mitchell provided energy and humour as Katie’s husband and mother-in-law. At times the characters’ dialogue felt cliched, but this was made up for by scenes of genuine warmth, such as seeing the couple laugh whilst trying to dance together on stage. Well-crafted, these light-hearted moments of intimacy contrasted to darker scenes, in which we see a mother’s inability to bond with her child and the detrimental impact on her family. Katie’s struggles are portrayed incredibly by Hayes, whose performance is completely captivating. Moving seamlessly between outbursts of laughter and moments of stillness and despair, she never breaks the relationship forged with the audience, carrying the play through to its tragic conclusion.

Part of the significance of ‘Baby Blues’ is that we are given a character seemingly distant, or (at worst) dangerous, misunderstood by those on stage; nevertheless the audience are made to empathise with Katie, rooting for her and sympathising with her trauma, even up to the final scene. Kuenzler’s writing forces us to challenge our judgements of a mother whose actions at first seem unloving and cold, leaving us heartbroken at the fate of the characters and frustrated that a suffering mother does not receive the support that she desperately needs. Whilst the scenes at the start felt a little more flat, the show quickly picks up in pace and emotion and builds to a tense and heart-breaking finale, leaving the audience in tears as the house lights came back up.

Overall, ‘Baby Blues’ is at once gripping, entertaining and tragic. Whilst powerful and shocking, the dramatic climax perhaps takes away from an otherwise more nuanced portrayal of the realities of postnatal depression. Regardless, the play offers a poignant and thought-provoking testimony of the gravity of postnatal depression, and the need to take ‘baby blues’ seriously.

Cherwell’s guide to sport at Oxford

Matthew Roller
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Cherwell’s guide to sport at Oxford

As with so many aspects of the University, sport at Oxford is what you make of it.
Thousands of students pass through with minimal exposure to it, and for others it plays a huge role in shaping their whole experience here.

Oxford boasts some 78 sports clubs, with several top-level facilities, and competes
at the highest level in many of these from Aikido to Aussie Rules and Water Polo to Windsurfing.

Matches

The key fixtures in the sporting calendar are the Varsity Matches against Cambridge, which are the pinnacle of most teams’ seasons. Dating back to 1827 when Charles Wordsworth organised a two-day cricket match between the two universities at Lord’s, Varsity matches also see the award of Blues to those who represent Oxford in a major sport, and half-Blues in minor sports.

However, sport at Oxford is by no means limited to university level. 39 sports are played at inter-college level, with many running a league and a cup competition. The knock-out competitions, known as ‘Cuppers’, often attract large crowds to their finals.

Rowing

Perhaps the most iconic Oxford sport is Rowing, which many undergraduates try in their first year. It is often said that you can instantly recognise an Oxford rower, mainly because they have already told you about it.

Furthermore, they will undoubtedly be wearing an inordinate amount of stash: rowers love to spend half of their student loan on lycra, hoodies, fleeces, visors and ‘splash jackets’ with their college name and crest emblazoned across the front.

Many colleges have a strong rowing culture, and expect rowers to wake up annoyingly early to train. For humanities students, this should be particularly off-putting: not only does rowing force you to get out of bed before midday, but the fact it is packed full of scientists means that your 6am conversations on the run down to the Isis will be spectacularly dull.

At a college level, rowing has two main events, the Torpids and Eights regattas in Hilary and Trinity Terms respectively. These both take place in the traditional ‘bumps’ format, in which boats chase each other in single file as each crew tries to catch the one in front.

Finally, the world-renowned Boat Race takes place every April on the Thames, and thousands of Oxonians spectate from the pubs along the river.

Football

Another major sport in which Oxford have enjoyed recent success is Football. The Varsity Match is the oldest regular fixture in world football, having been played every year– barring the World Wars – since 1873. The venue has changed several times in recent years, with Selhurst Park, Craven Cottage and The Hive all playing host to the fixture, but Oxford’s success has remained a constant: the Dark Blues have won the past three Men’s and Women’s games.

College football is also a massive part of many Oxonians’ lives. There are four highly competitive JCR leagues and four ‘Reserve’ divisions, meaning that players of any ability get the chance to represent their college.

Rugby

The Rugby Union Varsity Matches takes place at Twickenham every year, and typically
attract crowds in excess of 15,000. Current and former professionals often turn out in the fixtures (former All Black captain Anton Oliver played for Oxford in 2008, while two-time Lions tourist Jamie Roberts pulled on a Cambridge jersey in 2015).

As with football, rugby clubs have a strong social presence in most colleges, with most putting on socials or drinks on a weekly basis. Despite their possible stigma, these tend to be very lighthearted aff airs with minimal forced drinking – the odd dirty pint excepted –and a good opportunity to meet people in other year groups within your college.

Hockey

Hockey is another sport with a strong social side at university level, with ‘hockey
corner’ at Park End on a Wednesday typically backed with Blues kit after a weekly crewdate.

Indeed, the Men’s and Women’s Blues squads recently demonstrated their commitment to the social aspect of the club by arranging a tour to Prague which featured no hockey fixtures and no training sessions.

That said, both teams are reasonably strong, and completed a Varsity double in 2017. There are four Men’s teams and three Women’s teams, and also mixed league and knockout competitions at college level.

Croquet

Jane Nearing/Flickr.

In Trinity Term, Croquet is extremely popular, and most Oxonians will play socially on one of their college lawns at some point in their time at the university. For more serious players, there is a knockout Cuppers competition which runs all term, and some nine per cent of students entered this year.

The sport also provides students with fantastic opportunities for Instagram content – make sure to get an alcoholic drink in shot and to write a pretentious caption relating to the fact you go to Oxford for additional likes.

This piece is from Cherwell‘s guide to Oxford Freshers’ Week 2017, Keep Off the Grass. Pick up your copy from your freshers rep or pidge room at the start of term.

Five of the best pubs and bars in Oxford

Ethan Croft
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Five of the best pubs and bars in Oxford

From Cherwell‘s guide to Oxford freshers’ week 2017, Keep Off the Grass.

The Kings Arms

The King Arms claims the title of Oxford’s most famous pub. Like many a metropolitan watering hole, ‘the K.A.’ (as it is affectionately known by some) succumbed long ago to the clutches of the gastropub chain Youngs. Yet it still does a pretty good job of masquerading as an independent ale house, with dark wood panelling, rich leather sofas, and pictures of the Queen Mother pouring a pint. The pork pies are good, and the scotch eggs better. But don’t expect a great deal more in the way of food if you’re arriving late at night.

Drinks will seem relatively more expensive depending how far north of London you come from, but moaning about the price of a pint can sometimes be an effective conversation starter in first term. And don’t worry too much about your overdraft; the high cost of a night at the KA is only remunerated with their Sunday night entertainment. To be more specific, the Conservative Association’s Port and Policy after-party. Sit back and relax as the suited and booted MPs of the future get pissed on half a cider, and fall into a coughing fit after bumming their first cigarette from a proletarian.

The Turf Tavern

The Turf Tavern. Flickr.

While the King’s Arms sits proudly on the corner of Holywell Street, Oxford’s second biggest central pub, Turf Tavern, is a tad harder to find. Hidden away behind Hertford College, with a secret entrance under the Bridge of Sighs, the Turf claims to be the city’s oldest pub. Though the Kings Arms’ famous visitors are displayed on its walls in 35mm glory, the Turf uses the slightly dubious method of writing about celebrities and their exploits on chalkboards around the pub. With quite a bit of “allegedly” and “apparently” thrown in, it claims to be the place where Bill Clinton “did not inhale” cannabis.

The tavern’s rather pokey interior is made up for with its charming outdoor veranda, which importantly includes overhead heating in the winter. Don’t expect to stay long though—Turf closes at a measly 11pm.

The Half Moon

If you’re a pubber not a clubber, life can be difficult. While your happy go-lucky (and often lightweight) friends brave the cold of the Bridge queue and dance into the early morning, you might find yourself being kicked out of the pub before you’re ready to call it a night.

But despair not. Make your way over Magdalen Bridge to the magical Half Moon (its main mystical quality being that it stays open until 2am). It will take you back in time, in a good way. There’s a jukebox for punters, and don’t bother flashing your AmEx at the bar staff. They only take cold hard cash for their bizarrely named craft ales. Though you might not be able to smoke inside, the doorway in which you’ll puff away is so narrow you won’t be able to tell the difference.

Chequers, High Street Oxford. Photo: Ben Sutherland/Flickr.

The Chequers

Oh, High Street. The place where everything seems to be both a little bit more expensive and a little bit shitter. Chequers is another early closing pub, which is only accentuated by the fact it will take you an age to locate the alley it’s hidden in. This is a pub with few student regulars, but at least while in there you and your friends can play a game of ‘spot the college crest’. Beware though: the renditions vary in quality.

 

Four Candles

Otherwise known as Wetherspoons, or ‘Spoons’ for short. £2.40 lager? Yes please. Nobody knows how they do it, but this nationwide gastropub franchise manages to provide cheap ale for all, and Oxford is no exception. In The Four Candles, a delicately preserved townhouse, you can touch base with townies, eat a lukewarm £5 burger, and drink G&Ts on the cheap. But good luck finding a seat in here at the weekend.

Photo: Matt Brown/Flickr.

This piece is from Cherwell‘s guide to Oxford Freshers’ Week 2017, Keep Off the Grass. Pick up your copy from your freshers rep or pidge room at the start of term.

Max and Ivan at the Fringe review: ‘Laugh-out-loud hilarious from start to finish’

Izzy Smith
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Max and Ivan at the Fringe review: ‘Laugh-out-loud hilarious from start to finish’

Max and Ivan’s Edinburgh Fringe show is laugh-out-loud hilarious from start to finish. The pair have fantastic chemistry, skilfully embodying a whole cast of wonderful larger than life characters, from obnoxious Swedish boyfriend peddling (literally) fishy alcohol, to the protagonist’s jaded best friend. These at times clunky transitions between characters are used to excellent comic effect, such as when an actor’s movement continues on from one character to the next. During a proposal scene, where both partners are played by the same actor, the boyfriend asks his girlfriend to stop talking, as she’s making things difficult to stage.

The show follows Brian, a sweet but challenged character who is allergic to pretty much everything, as he navigates a school reunion, also dipping into the stories of others at the event. These stories combine and intertwine hilariously, and often disastrously.

I found particularly tickling the way in which the same anecdotes were repeated from different people’s perspectives. Brian, hoping to infuse a gig with excitement, once set free a lion at a house party, and other characters reminisce about how when they lost their virginity together a lion bounded through the bedroom. One character declares that ‘playing the French horn is like making love to a beautiful woman – it’s much more fun if you have a butt plug in,’ and another character later mentions, disturbed, that this boy is teaching her the French horn.

My favourite scene depicts the meeting of a Geography teacher and past mature student, who had previously had an affair. The pair’s flirtation through Geography facts and innuendo is rib-achingly funny, the scene charged with utterly ridiculous sexual tension.

This ability to create scenes and characters imbued with just the right degree of silliness is perhaps Max and Ivan’s greatest strength. Another fantastic example of this is a fight that takes place in the school’s music room, during which the opponents combine musically punning insults with physical blows by the corresponding instruments.

A recurring joke which I personally found more distressing than funny involved a past student whom nobody remembered. While this premise could have worked well, the joke is taken in uncharacteristically dark directions, with the threat of suicide building, and finally only just being avoided. The stories of the people who had forgotten him are also rather harrowing at times: one bully had forced him to jump off the science block several times, and his legs were still badly damaged to this day.

On the whole, though, the show was extremely funny and entertaining, with no moment wasted.

‘It’ review – the most purely entertaining horror movie of the year

Jonnie Barrow
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‘It’ review – the most purely entertaining horror movie of the year

“Have you seen ‘It’ yet?” “Seen what?” “Y’know, ‘It’?” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” This has been the most common conversation I’ve had with friends in the last week, itching to talk about a movie with an irritatingly ubiquitous title. More frustrating than its title, though, is the fact that I’ve had no-one to talk about it with. Because while we’ve already seen future classics of the horror genre ‘Get Out’ and ‘It Comes At Night’ this year, IT may be the most purely entertaining horror movie so far.

‘It’ takes place in Derry, Maine in the summer of 1989, and follows seven outcast kids, self-titled ‘The Losers’ Club’, who begin to see visions of a terrifying clown preying on their worst fears. They soon make a connection between their visions and the extreme number of disappearances in Derry, and set out to stop Pennywise the Clown/It and halt his reign of tyranny over their sleepy town.

In a year where ‘The Dark Tower’, one of the most abortive attempts to adapt one of Stephen King’s works has graced the screen, the success of IT should not be understated, and its successes mostly stem from two really smart creative choices: a script that retains the best parts of its long development process, and applying the lessons learnt by the other great Stephen King adapted film starring children, Stand By Me.

Lets start with the script, which initially was significantly shaped by Cary Fukunaga, one of the creative geniuses behind the first season of True Detective. The script bears many traits of his handiwork, sharing the show’s deep sense of place and strong, rounded characters which lend a resonant tangibility to even the broadest story strokes. While these elements have been retained, director Andy Muschietti (whose only other film is 2013’s hauntingly beautiful and extremely underrated horror hit Mama) has clearly spruced it up with some great comedic touches and often imaginative jump scares.

The other intelligent aspect of the script is that, instead of adapting the whole 1000+ page novel in one go, the filmmakers have decided to adapt only the childhood-set portions, resulting in a tight, self-contained story that sets itself up perfectly for a sequel covering the adulthood era of the novel.

As a first chapter, then, what lessons does this film have to learn from the resolutely standalone classic Stand By Me? That casting the right kids, and giving them the right dialogue, is everything – and the casting of IT is spot on.

The Losers are led by Bill, played superbly by Jaeden Lieberher, who has the most personal connection to Pennywise after his little brother is gruesomely caught by the dancing clown in the film’s stellar pre-titles sequence. Sophia Lillis plays Bev, the only girl in the group, with an enchanting mixture of vulnerability and stoicism, and she plays off Jeremy Ray Taylor’s Ben beautifully. Finn Wolfhard, of ‘Stranger Things’ fame, is absolutely hilarious in the comic relief role of the group.

Wolfhard is not the only element seemingly borrowed from Stranger Things – both share a commitment to evoking not just the era of the 1980s itself, through its stellar production design, but the films of the period too, through the charmingly Amblin-esque score and a combination of homage-y and inventive camerawork.

Though the film suffers a little in the scares department due to a slight over-reliance on jump scares and loud noises, Bill Skarsgård’s turn as Pennywise is terrifying enough to compensate. Muschietti rightfully lets his deliciously evil performance reign supreme within the often-hectic scary scenes, keeping his supernatural origins vague while keeping his threat to the children horrifyingly present. Seriously, this film does not skimp on its “children getting brutally maimed” quota.

Despite the scares and the laughs, the true pleasures of IT lie in its assured direction and wonderfully committed cast. Though not all of the central characters are as fleshed out as they could be, and the pacing occasionally stumbles under the weight of juggling seven main characters, Pennywise and The Losers more than earn their right to their inevitable sequel. I say, bring IT on.

Oxford refuses to reconsider Aung San Suu Kyi honorary degree

Jack Hunter
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Oxford refuses to reconsider Aung San Suu Kyi honorary degree

Oxford University has called on Aung San Suu Kyi to “eliminate discrimination and oppression”, in light of the expanding humanitarian crisis in Myanmar, but has said it is not reconsidering her honorary degree.

A number of UK universities and institutions have withdrawn or suspended honours given to Myanmars’s de facto leader, after the displacement of around 400,000 of the country’s Rohingya Muslim minority, which the UN has described as a “textbook example of ethnic cleansing”.

In a statement to Cherwell, Oxford said Aung San Suu Kyi’s honorary degree, awarded in 2012, is not currently under discussion, but expressed the university’s “profound concern” about the treatment of the Rohingya community.

“Since the country established its first democratically elected government for more than 50 years, in 2015, Oxford has expanded a wide-ranging programme of assistance to  universities in Myanmar, in particular the University of Yangon,” the statement said.

“The institution’s goal is to support peaceful and inclusive democracy, strengthened rule of law, and the provision of greater economic opportunities through higher education.”

It called on Aung San Suu Kyi, who graduated from St Hugh’s College in 1967, to act on the growing crisis. “The University remains committed to these ideals, and hopes the Myanmar administration, led by Oxford alumna Aung San Suu Kyi, can eliminate discrimination and oppression, and demonstrate to the world that Myanmar values the lives of all its citizens.”

The statement stopped short, however, of reviewing the honorary degree bestowed on Aung San Suu Kyi in 2012, one of the University’s highest honours, awarded to only a handful of international figures each year.

In recent days, a number of institutions have suspended or reviewed awards given to Myanmar’s leader. Yesterday, Oxford councillors announced they could reconsider the freedom of the city of Oxford awarded to Aung San Suu Kyi in 1997.

“If nothing changes, I think it is very likely that the city council will be stripping her of the freedom of the city,” councillor John Tanner told the Oxford Mail.

“It’s something that we very much regret but clearly the reasons for giving her support have now changed.”

Bristol University, one of several UK universities to have awarded Aung San Suu Kyi an honorary degree, said it was reviewing its award.

LSE’s student union said it would be stripping the former political prisoner of her honorary presidency.

“We will be actively removing Aung San Suu Kyi’s honorary presidency as a symbol of our opposition to her current position and inaction in the face of genocide,” said Mahatir Pasha, the union’s general secretary.

Among her critics has been fellow Nobel Peace Prize winner and incoming Lady Margaret Hall student Malala Yousafzai. She wrote on Twitter that “the world is waiting” for Aung San Suu Kyi to condemn the suffering of the Rohingya community.

Aung San Suu Kyi studied PPE at St Hugh’s College, gaining a BA in 1967 before studying for an MA in Politics.

In a televised address yesterday, Aung San Suu Kyi said: “There have been allegations and counter-allegations. We have to listen to all of them.

“We have to make sure those allegations are based on solid evidence before we take action.”

Richardson’s indefensible pay is a product of the marketisation of education

Daniel Villar
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Richardson’s indefensible pay is a product of the marketisation of education

Louise Richardson has recently come under fire for a comment perceived by many to be defending homophobia. However, the real scandal of what she said was not that students should not complain about homophobic professors, but her defence of her own £350,000 salary, and similarly high salaries of vice chancellors across the UK.

Over the last thirty years, the number of academic positions relative to PhDs, and the remuneration of those who get those positions, has declined. A generation or two ago the standard practice for a newly minted PhD was an academic career path, almost certainly culminating in a full professorship. Today, less than a tenth of newly minted PhDs are likely to become full professors, and even formerly safe branches such as mathematics and biology have a conversion rate of less than half.

At the same time academic salaries have stagnated, even as the price of living has increased – at our own university, the highest a full professor can be paid is £67,827, with a yearly increase below inflation. This salary in real terms is much less than what Oxford professors were paid thirty years ago, with the city much more expensive than it was in the past.

Yet one branch of the academic world has seen a rapid increase in both salaries and positions: administration. Not so long ago, heads of departments, wardens, and even vice chancellors were not paid much more than the professors they oversaw. Indeed, it used to be the norm in the whole Anglophone world for university presidents and vice chancellors to be elected for a fixed term from amongst the current academic staff, and to be paid one and a half times, or at most double, the salaried professor. The administrative staff was small, and most people employed by a university would be either teaching or doing research. Today, however, there is an entire class of people in universities who contribute little to research and teaching, but instead administer, adding needless cost for not much value.

Richardson defended her salary as vice chancellor on the grounds that, compared to some US university presidents, she was modestly paid. That is true: her salary may be over five times more than an Oxford professor could ever hope to earn without entering administration, but it is paltry compared to salaries for university administrators in the US.

Richardson’s £350,000 pales in comparison to the £570,000 earnt by Drew Faust of Harvard or the £3 million earnt by Mark Wrighton of the University of Washington, St Louis. In a global market for vice chancellors, Richardson probably could earn more in the United States.

If emulating America is the goal, then vice chancellor pay in Britain shows we’re well on the way. If, however, we seek to resist the rampant marketisation which characterises the United States, higher education must stand at the front line.

Academia is a land of contradictions. At one end is the vast army of underpaid academics, many of whom have to work on short term contracts with no job security, or slave away as post-docs. On the other end are the university chief executives—an almost parasitic group that no longer research and simply live off their past careers.

Richardson’s comments on homophobia, deplorable as they are, will have no impact: the tide is already well in favour of equal rights. Her defense of gross levels of executive pay for vice chancellors, however, can have lasting ramifications. The trend towards marketisation of the British higher education system is already starting to damage our universities, and Richardson’s comments will only help accelerate this trend.

By all means be angry about Richardson’s comments on homophobia – but remember that the real controversy is her defence of a burgeoning academic system whose influence would hurt everyone save a self-serving class of academic administrators of which Richardson is a part.

How to survive Oxford freshers’ week

Eimer McAuley
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How to survive Oxford freshers’ week

From Keep Off the Grass.

So, after months of anticipation, freshers’ week has finally come around. Some of you will arrive loaded with paracetamol, fully prepared for a week that sees you bouncing from being absolutely hammered to hanging on a daily basis. Others may be daunted at the prospect of mass socialising and leaving home behind. No matter your expectations, aims, or anxieties about this week, this a fool-proof guide that will see you intact and fully functioning come 1st week.

First up, don’t get stressed about work

From the word go, this is where the Oxford experience begins to diverge from your average fresher’s week. Your tutors will call you to a meeting in the first few days and set you an essay due in a week. They will encourage you to hit the books from the off, cordon yourself in a section in the library, and come to terms with your new existence as a living essay machine. Whilst it’s a bad idea to leave that essay until the night before, there’s plenty of time for work during the year. This week is about having a blast of hedonism before that begins, so remember to relax and live a little.

Know your limits

Now that you’ve accepted that you’re going to have fun, it’s important to acknowledge the limitations of what your body is physically capable of—there’s a big night out and then there’s puking into a plant pot in the Bridge smoking area and performing a weepy public monologue to Kevin from the floor above you about how you just missed out on an A* in History. Kevin, who is of course your new soulmate, because somewhere between the last jaeger and tripping down the stairs you realised that you just really like get each other. Drinkers, don’t go overboard! Take refuge in a stodgy Hassan’s to keep the killer hangover at bay, and take at least one night off for the sake of your liver.

Get to know Oxford

When you’re not spending your time drinking, you should probably get to know Oxford. Take a walk, see the sights, go on the Harry Potter tour if that’s your kind of gig. You’ll thank yourself for doing a little sight-seeing when, in 1st week, you have a lecture in a college whose name you aren’t sure how to pronounce, followed by a class in the faculty building you haven’t yet located. Oxford is beautiful and ancient, so soak some of the scenery up before you begin a very busy year.

Freshers’ Fair: the baptism of fire

Freshers’ Fair is a baptism of fire into the societies and clubs the Uni has to offer. Navigate your way around the impressively maze-like trail of stalls and sign up for whatever catches your eye. Whether you’re interested in singing, comedy, politics, or pastries, there will be something there for you. The students behind the desks will be grappling for your attention and the atmosphere is somewhat like a noisy market, but it’s a great way to see what’s available. Oh, and there’s free pizza.

Budgeting

In the sheer hedonism of it all, you might find that—five days in—you’ve spent way more money than you meant to, and you’re already behind budget. Fresher’s week is a good time to learn how to economise. Eat in hall, buy a kettle and a clothes horse, and most essentially, discover boxed wine. This brings me to another key tip, remember to call your parents. Those people who dropped you off with teary eyes? It’s really awkward when your first call is due to the fact that you’ve ran out of money, trust me

It’s only the first week

Lastly, don’t worry if you don’t feel like you’ve found your best friends for life in the first few days. Freshers’ Week is really a time for first impressions and bonding experiences, but you’ll end up having great friends who you didn’t even meet in freshers’ week. Go to some of the meet and greet events organised by your freshers’ committee if you’re nervous about introductions, and remember that you’ve got a year to get to know people. This week is only the beginning of your experience here, it won’t define it. You’re in for three amazing years that will be as unpredictable as they will be rewarding, and no one could pack that into one week.

This piece is from Cherwell‘s guide to Oxford Freshers’ Week 2017, Keep Off the Grass. Pick up your copy from your freshers rep or pidge room at the start of term.

“Once again, I find myself applauding the Oxford Revue”

Saskia Thomas
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“Once again, I find myself applauding the Oxford Revue”

Having previously seen the wealth of talent in the Oxford Revue before arriving at Subway on Cowgate, I was excited to see what new material the trio would bring to the stage. I was not disappointed and neither were the rest of the audience, who seemed to lap up the majority of the jokes and characters effortlessly and seamlessly portrayed by the group. The opening verged on awkwardly cheesy, as one of the characters attempted to motivate the crowd with clapping, but the show soon gained momentum and the jokes finesse. What began as seemingly a series of stand-alone skits progressed as the story lines intertwined, and the blurb I had read before entering the theatre became apparent. It follows a journey to Australia made by an American, Scotsman and an Englishwoman in order to hunt down a fascist Youtuber with a number one single, which twists and turns with some hilariously random and seemingly unrelated scenes.

Kathy Maniura plays the rather less child-friendly JK Rowling, teaching kids that a cigarette and bottle of wine are the perfect complement to worldwide fame and fortune. And while I adore a wildly inappropriate Harry Potter joke with a beautifully subtle satirical twist, the American, played by Derek Mitchell, really stole the show. Dawn McIntosh, your stereotypical Christian mum, with her snickerdoodles and crossbow, had an intoxicating enthusiasm when played by Mitchell. Not only did he work the space and the character, he owned them. He plays the mum you’d never want to have while deep down you never want him to leave the stage. While the Scotsman (aka. Mary Macrel), played by Alistair Inglis, may have had some of the weakest material of the show, his characterisation, wonderful accent, and the fact he spends most of the show in an ill-fitting vomit-green ladies suit made him entertaining still. Inglis plays your hyperbolised politician, competing with JK Rowling for most influential woman. Kathy Maniura must also be commended for her musical abilities as well, as Ariel and JK she sings and plays guitar with skill and style. Not only are her musical moments funny and endearing, but a pleasure to listen to.

The humour itself is found in both the absurdity of this show and in the cracking one-liners all three of the trio perform; the humour hits more than it misses with some wonderfully creative forms of satire and ridiculousness. Credit must be given to Laura de Lisle for her wonderful technical work, the use of media to supplement the humour and give time for the trio to change wigs and costume, kept the pace of the show and the audience occupied. Furthermore, the sheer number of cues she had to execute was unbelievably impressive for one person.

This show is heart warming and had me tearing up with laughter, a show truly performed with flair by some incredible talent. Again, I find myself applauding the Oxford Revue.

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