Monday 6th October 2025
Blog Page 871

‘Salazar’s Revenge’ sinks with no survivors

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Pirates of the Caribbean is massive. It’s the ninth highest grossing franchise is cinema history. It’s bombastic. It’s outlandish. It’s rammed with big names—Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, and Bill Nighy with a squid on his face to name but a few. There is, however, one thing that the Pirates franchise seems to struggle with—closure.

Although quality was variable, the first three films formed quite a neat trilogy. The lovable crew from Curse of the Black Pearl achieved something in the way of closure with the epic-scale finale of At World’s End. This was a natural end point, and it is hard to view the two efforts since as anything but cash-grabs. 2011’s On Stranger Tides was a dismal trudge with few returning characters and Ian McShane wasted as an underwritten Blackbeard.

This fifth instalment of franchise has, however, been billed as “the final adventure”. Titled Salazar’s Revenge (or Dead Men Tell No Tales), this supposed last hurrah brings back the main cast of the first film. Orlando Bloom, playing the new young hero’s father, and of course Johnny Depp as the lovable pirate Captain Jack Sparrow—although Depp’s personal appeal has plummeted of late.

The hero of this latest film is the handsome, young, and generic Henry, played by Brenton Thwaites of Home and Away fame. Henry has found his father, Bloom’s Will Turner, trapped upon the Flying Dutchman, and the only way to save Will and break Davy Jones’s curse is, for some reason, finding the mythical Trident of Poseidon.

Remembering Will’s friendship with Jack Sparrow, Henry finds Sparrow locked away after a drunk failed bank robbery, with Carina Smyth—played by Kaya Scodelario, an astronomer whose intelligence has sparked fears that she is a witch. The three manage to break out of jail and begin their hunt for the lost trident.

Also on the hunt is Sparrow’s old friend/nemesis Barbosa (played by a returning Geoffrey Rush). Javier Bardem’s leering Captain Salazar pops up too, aiming to thwart the trio’s plans as he seeks revenge on Sparrow for an incident in their youth (conveyed in flashbacks which include an impressively CGI-ed young Jack Sparrow).

Depp is a swaggering, irreverent rapscallion as ever, but after five films the act feels worn. Bardem manages to add a sense of ghoulish terror, however the plot is anything but watertight.

The heavy use of flashbacks, and bids for nostalgia with the re-introduction of Bloom show what is very obvious—the film cannot recreate the franchise’s old magic.

Thwaites and Scodelario are both charismatic at times but ultimately lacking in chemistry, and cannot match up to their predecessors Bloom and Kiera Knightley. The CGI is as impressive as a $230 million budget would suggest, but while the effects are overwhelming they do not make up for the fundamental lack of plot substance. Jeff Nathanson’s script does the talented cast no services—though there are some fun scenes and moments that, although forced, do produce an audience reaction, including a surprise cameo by Paul McCartney.

Ultimately, however, the film as a whole feels tired and disjointed, and this attempt to capitalize on the success of the charming 2003 film, despite its high budget and constant nostalgia tripping, ends up floundering.

Contrary to the original marketing, director Joachim Ronning said in a recent interview that Salazar’s Revenge is “the beginning of the finale”. Don’t expect Disney to stop flogging this dead horse any time soon.

“Alan Rusbridger ended the phone call by saying, ‘for fuck’s sake, just come along.'”

Working class council estate kids like myself don’t fit into Oxford. Or so I thought. The Foundation Year programme is a new initiative introduced by Lady Margaret Hall this year, and is the only one of its kind at Oxford. It selects talented students who show great potential from the most deprived areas of the UK, and from schools whose students do not tend to progress into academic higher education institutions, and gives them a year of Oxford teaching, free of charge, to equip them to then apply for degree courses at top universities. As Trinity term draws to a close, it seems the appropriate time to reflect on my, and the programme’s, first year. To be perfectly honest with you, this has been the most confusing, weird, yet wonderful journey of my life.

Growing up, I was taught in no uncertain terms to despise the middle and upper classes. I never thought I would look at someone who studied at Harrow, or Eton, and think to myself, “I’d get on incredibly well with you”. But everyone who I have met here has been wonderful. The stereotypes are just exactly that: stereotypes. The guys who I initially considered to be public school toffs have, to my surprise, became some of my closest friends.

The biggest surprise was how different Oxford turned out to be from what I had expected. Yes, there is a large proportion of what you would call the ‘elite’. But I have been touched by how well we all got on, regardless of how diff erent we are. I thought I would be judged for my back-ground, but in reality, I have ended up loving many, and, perhaps, also being loved by many myself. The majority of the staff , and all the stu-dents of LMH, as well as the wider Oxford community, have helped the foundation students in some extraordinary ways throughout this journey. It has made me realise that the support and aid that you get at this place is beyond any spectrum of sheer excellence. The foundation year has given me, and others, so many opportunities. We’ve been able to meet and question politicians, Supreme Court judges, world-renowned scientists, barristers, newspaper editors, and many more. It has opened doors and provided connections in fi elds far beyond the academic. Of course, it hasn’t all been perfect. The foundation year has had some teething problems—as many pilot programmes do—for example with its structure and teaching style.

Furthermore, I have discovered, as I think many students do, that there is a pressure in Oxford to spend every hour of the day working, and if you can’t manage that, to at least appear like you are. It’s an unhealthy ideal, and not one that I see many people enjoy. I have also seen some variability in the teaching quality. It may rank highly for research and employability, but it’s no big surprise that Oxford comes only 47th for student satisfaction, according to The Complete University Guide’s rankings. So the foundation year has ended up being a personal journey, as much as an academic one. I’m not yet fully convinced that a full Oxford degree is for me—though the majority of my fellow foundation year students are very much looking forward to progressing on to an undergraduate degree. But is the Foundation Year programme a good idea? Yes, despite its problem and its flaws, I definitely think so. An entire year of training and personally tailored academic help to make sure that Oxford no longer scrapes against the fingertips, but instead becomes well within the reach, of students like myself is a priceless gift. Oxford is renowned for being one of the greatest academic institutions in the world, from far into the past, to the present day. But if it wants to maintain this prestigious status, the selection process has to be altered, and the Foundation Year is a huge step in the right direction.

The university is missing out on students with enormous potential, who never even consider applying, or believe they are unwor-thy of a place. Many of these students, including the ones on the Foundation Year, have undergone difficulties in their lives which have prevented them from reaching their full academic potential. LMH has got the ball rolling, but it’s on the shoulders of other colleges to carry on from this, and begin their own foundation years. But in order to get students from under-privileged background to apply, the stereotypes of Oxford need to be eliminated. The main way of doing that is by reaching out to students in colleges and sixth forms across the country, and showing them what Oxford is really about. In my own case, it took several phone calls from our principal Alan Rusbridger to get me to come along. I remember how he ended our final phone call saying (in the calmest tone of voice I have ever heard), “for fuck’s sake, just come along”. And so I did. And I met what I consider to be the greatest bunch of people. The kindest, welcoming and most gracious people, who embraced me for who I am, and treated me no different from anyone else. I wish I could give all of their names a mention. However, this is Oxford, and I only have a limited word count, and another essay due in at 5pm. I hope they all know who they are.

To any applicants considering the Foundation Year, or Oxford in general, who believe they are underserving and would never fit in, I would say this.I came from a poor background. I grew up in a bad environment, where horrible things happened almost every day. Yet I managed to get to school on time, and get my homework done each night, and ended up receiving an offer from Oxford. I am by no means special, and I don’t care who contests that fact. I am not a wonder kid, and neither do I think I am particularly intelligent. What I am is a hard worker. And I work hard because hard is what life threw at me. If I can do it, the girl or the boy who lives down the road from me can also do it. Being scared means nothing. Having self-belief is everything.

The secret coach who revived Alastair Cook’s career

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In the spring of 2015, Alastair Cook’s England future looked bleak.

It was almost two years since his last Test match hundred, and he had been axed as ODI captain just months before the World Cup in Australia and New Zealand. To make matters worse, Head Coach Peter Moores had just been sacked, and there were whispers of a big overhaul within the national set-up.

But in a ‘batting lab’ near Oxford, Cook found redemption. Then-England batting coach Graham Gooch had been contacted by a former Somerset player named Gary Palmer, who had contacted him in the belief that he had the ability to correct a few technical faults in Cook’s game.

The move instantly paid dividends. After just a month with Palmer, Cook hit 162 in the first Test of the English summer, and played with an elegance and fluency that was almost unprecedented in his Test career.

Last week, Palmer agreed to a rare interview with Cherwell, and I presented him with some statistics about Cook’s Test record before and after working with him.

Indeed, the numbers are pretty clear that Palmer’s work with Cook when facing seamers has been extremely successful: before summer 2015, the Essex batsman averaged 40 against pace bowling, but since then has averaged 59.

“He used to be reasonably sideways-on when he batted,” Palmer commented, “but he now looks a lot more open. He holds the shape of his shots more, and technically, he’s more aware of trying to get into good shapes every time he hits the ball.

“He sets himself a really high standard, and generally, he’s a really easy guy to work with: very open-minded, very humble.

“It really is an honour and a privilege to work with Cook: he is a legend of the game.”

Whilst he may be Palmer’s highest-profile client, Cook is by no means the only top player that the 51-year-old has worked with. Indeed, the ex-England trio of Ian Bell, Michael Carberry and Nick Compton have all spent time at the Palmer Batting Lab, and Pakistan opener Shan Masood recently used him to get his career back on track.

There are other names that have been rumoured to have worked with him, but he is watertight in maintaining their anonymity, so declined to say who they were.

And yet despite his success, Palmer remains outside of the cricketing mainstream. Whilst his methods are simple and effective, he is something of an innovator in his reluctance to stick to classical, by-the-book methods.

Indeed, the ECB remain set on hiring former internationals to form part of their extensive coaching staff: they have never openly contacted the man who sorted the nation’s all-time leading run-scorer’s form out in a matter of months.

“You can understand why they hire ex-England players,” Palmer says. “They have a wealth of knowledge which is complemented by their experience of playing at the highest level of the game.”

But that is not to say that it is only the top players who can be elite-level coaches: “coaching technique is an art form in itself—you need years and years of experience to really know your trade,” he adds.

“I’m coaching the same methods that most of the best players in the world are using, but what they’re doing is not quite the same as what is in a lot of the manuals that you see out there, which makes it awkward for me in a lot of ways,” Palmer continues.

In 2015, ESPNCricinfo’s George Dobell suggested that Palmer “has often […] been dismissed as something of a maverick,” due to his hands-on approach and innovative methods.

But in reality, Palmer coaches the basics, and focuses on hitting the ball straight to the highest technical standards. He does use inventive techniques and grooving systems to construct, repair, enhance and challenge his clients’ movements, but ultimately his message is clear and simple.

“The stuff I coach works. It’s successful. There are a few subtle things that I do—[alter] back foot position prior to hitting the ball, being a bit more open—that aren’t in the textbook, but technique has now moved forward as the game has.”

Why, then, are more coaches not adapting? Surely, if Palmer’s methods were as good as he suggests, the cricketing mainstream would quickly be following him?

He disagrees. “If suddenly someone comes along and goes ‘well actually, I don’t think you should be that sideways on, you should be more open’, it’s quite a big, bold statement,” Palmer told Cherwell.

“But, you know, it’s difficult to change people’s mindsets if something’s been done the same way for donkeys’ years, and great players over the years have said ‘this is how you do it’.

“I’m not high-profile enough to have the input that they would have on changing something,” he says, evidently frustrated at the fact he remains on the periphery.

And yet despite this view of him, Palmer’s coaching appears to be intense, but not completely revolutionary. His website provides a clear outline as to how he wants batsmen to play, and emphasises the importance of a strong technique to be able to hit straight back down the ground in the ‘V’ between mid-on and mid-off.

There is not a massive difference in the way he coaches depending on his clients, be they young cricketers who have been gifted a session by their parents or Test players: he wants players to build up a muscle memory and enhance their concentration by simply hitting a lot of balls well over the course of a session.

It is an uncomplicated message, and one that has clearly been effective for his clients.

However, there are difficulties in working in his environment. Palmer doesn’t get the luxury of being with players on a day-to-day basis, and has to make a positive and noticeable difference to a batsman’s skill levels within any given two-three hour session.

“It is all about attention to detail,” he says, “and striving for perfection as regularly as you can.

“Once a technique has been coached, it needs to be serviced and challenged on a regular basis to maintain it. This leads to consistent positive performances.”

Therefore, it is not out of the question that there could be a path for Palmer into the ECB set-up. He says he would “love to be involved” with the national team in some way, shape or form as a specialist consultant, so that he could share his ideas with players and coaches.

Last year, England assistant coach Paul Farbrace invited him to a practice day on the eve of a Test Match at the Oval, and he remains in regular contact with certain coaches involved in the national set-up. The opportunity to work with top batsmen every day is one that he believes he would grasp with both hands.

When asked about the short duration of a lot of his sessions, Palmer comments that it means “I’ve got to make a difference here and now.” This seems like an apt way to demonstrate his drive. Without a moment of doubt, it is in the interests of the game for Gary Palmer to enjoy a bountiful and successful future.

Oxford business graduates are UK’s highest earners, report reveals

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Oxford business graduates are the most financially successful a year after their graduation, figures released by the Department for Education have shown.

Oxford degrees in the category ‘Business and Administrative Studies’ topped the list of graduate incomes, with the average salary of Oxford Business graduates being £41,500 one year after graduation, according to figures based on the 2012/13 group of graduates.

Business graduates also topped the list three years after graduation, averaging £50,900 per annum, and five years after, gaining £71,700 a year.

The starting salaries place the graduates in the top 20 per cent of earners in Britain, only a year into their professional lives.

Oxford beat Cambridge University’s Business graduates (£32,200) and Bath’s (£29,400) in the recently released survey.

The results were less good news for other Oxford students however. Those doing Historical or Philosophical studies came in third nationally, with average salaries of £22,200 one year after graduation. This was behind the LSE and Birkbeck College in London.

Similarly, those doing courses in Engineering were placed fifth but were more fortunate than the Oxford historians and philosophers. Their average starting salary was £30,300 per annum.

The Open University came in second overall, in the rankings, with their economics degree averaging a starting salary of £39,600.

The figures also showed the gender imbalance in starting salaries. The average male salary after one year for English graduates was £22,200. Whilst for female graduates, the figure was lower with £17, 400.

However, among law graduates, female students had an average salary of £29,000 compared to the male average of £23,900.

Ex-Oxford don, 80, trampled to death by cows

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Magdalen College have paid tribute to an 80-year-old former professor of the college who has reportedly been trampled to death by a herd of cows in a field near a village church.

Professor Brian Bellhouse was named as the victim of the incident in Guestling, near Hastings, East Sussex. He is said to have been walking in the field, before a herd of cows became agitated and charged.

Police, paramedics and air ambulance crews were unable to save his life, and he was pronounced dead at the scene on Monday morning.

A Sussex Police spokesman said the death was not being treated as suspicious and had been passed to the coroner’s office.

“An 80-year-old man died after being found trampled in a field of cattle at Church Lane, Guestling, on Monday 12 June,” said the spokesman.

“Police and paramedics performed CPR after being called at 11.02am and an air ambulance landed at the scene, but he was sadly pronounced dead at 11.46am.”

Magdalen College, to which Bellhouse came to read Maths in 1957, paid tribute to his time at the University.

“The college is very sad to announce that Professor Brian Bellhouse has passed away at the age of 80,” a spokesman said.

“He obtained his DPhil in Engineering Science in 1964 and was then made a Fellow by Examination. He was elected an Official Fellow in Engineering Science in 1966. On his retirement in 2004 he was elected an Emeritus Fellow.

“Brian co-founded the company PowderJect in 1993 which became one of the first companies to be spun-out successfully from the University of Oxford and was based at our Oxford Science Park.

“Brian was a major donor to the college and endowed the Oxford-Bellhouse Graduate Scholarship at Magdalen in biomedical engineering.”

Oxford faces sexism claims after introducing ‘take-home’ exams to close gender gap

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Oxford University has defended itself against ‘sexism’ allegations in the national press, following its introduction of ‘take home’ exams for some history students.

From Michaelmas 2017, history students will be able to replace one of their five finals papers with a exam which they will be able to sit at home.

According to a document seen by The Sunday Times, the change was designed to help close the gender disparity in the awarding of firsts in history. Last year, 37 per cent of men achieved firsts in history compared to 32 per cent of women.

The move was described as “so insulting” by the University of Liverpool’s Amanda Foreman. While recognising the good intentions of the decision, she said: “The reason why girls and boys perform differently in exams has nothing to do with the building they are in.”

Several of Oxford’s own faculty members are said to have criticised the decision, raising concern at the increased risk of plagiarism, and seeing it as only a short-term solution to gender disparities in results.

But the University has hit back at these claims of sexism, saying that broader considerations caused the change in exam regulations.

A spokesperson told Cherwell: “Timed exams remain an important part of the course, testing skills to complement the other assessed elements.

“This change is part of a broader goal of diversifying the history course in response to a number of factors, including the need to test a greater range of academic skills.

“The gender gap was also a consideration in this change, although research shows that the causes of the gap are broad do not lie solely in methods of assessment.”

It is reported that Cambridge University has also assessed the possibilities for changing their examination systems.

Man arrested after ‘smashing up’ Univ hall

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Police arrested a man at University College yesterday, after he reportedly wreaked havoc in the main hall, damaging the high table and shouting at college staff.

A student reported seeing the man “screaming” at college porters, before he “started trashing the main hall.”

Students said that the hall was closed off for dinner last night after the high table was apparently knocked over. The College has confirmed to Cherwell that some furniture in the hall was damaged, but that no students were injured.

A police spokesperson told Cherwell: “Thames Valley Police officers were called at about 4.25pm yesterday (12/6) following reports of a criminal damage incident at University College, High Street, Oxford.

“Officers attended the scene, where a 27-year-old man from Oxford was arrested on suspicion of criminal damage. He has been released under investigation.”

One student told Cherwell how “A disturbed man somehow got into Univ shouting and screaming – [he] smashed up the main hall before being taken away by police.”

Another student told Cherwell: “[I was] Walking down the high street, and observed police running into Univ, as we went in we heard a man screaming from the hall.

“We were walking that way anyway and saw staff and police crowding around the entrance before going in, restraining the man and dragging him out.”

The student reported seeing the man “screaming all the way out of college, struggling at the doorway before being eventually shoved into the back of a police van.”

University College hall dates back to 1656, with its internal decorations in the Gothic revival style of the late eighteenth century.

College Insider at Pembroke

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Even in sunny Trinity, Pembroke students aren’t faring well: there’s only so much vitamin D that you can absorb with Tom Tower looming large across the road, and blocking out the sky. It’s a trade-off though, because at least we manage to avoid the tourists who clog up the Christ Church quads (except the ones who refuse to move out of the way of our bikes while they take pictures of the college across the road). The college itself is no longer a safe haven for students. The rebranding of Pembroke College as Pembroke Conference Centre has left us fearful. Will we be able to make it to the laundry room in our pyjamas without running into businessmen in suits? Maybe not, but we may be able to sneak a free glass of wine, so it isn’t all bad news.

The only way we’re dealing with the change is by seeking solace in the endless panini meal deals supplied by Farthings, our café, and by hoping to avoid the many men in baby pink leggings and their endless rowing chat. If we’re lucky, there won’t be too many student newspapers exploiting our welfare issues for crude front pages in future either. Even after VIIIs, the rowing doesn’t stop. That being said, we are all quite thankful to PCBC for ensuring our blood has been around 30 per cent Pimms for the most of this term—even if it means they have had to become the largest non-commercial Pimm’s purchaser in Europe. We might manage to avoid the rowers and the press, but we are still vulnerable to those snakes amongst us who will listen in on conversations, and sneakily send your weirdest words to Overheard in Farthings. People may all agree that, “crackers are merely a vessel for brie”, but do you really want to be quoted saying you “had to get quinoa from M&S, and it’s just not the same as the Waitrose stuff ”? Maybe Farthings isn’t the best place to seek solace.

The alternative is to just spend our days hiding in the College Pink Panther costume. But, no matter how much we play up the Pink Panther, there’s only so much we can do to distract ourselves from the fact that our college colours are the same as Jack Wills, and that our stash, and the navy and pink sofas in our JCR, remind us all a little too closely of our thirteen-year-old selves. At least, for now, pink is in fashion.

Bernie Sanders, the hero we need but don’t deserve

And so, to thunderous applause, Bernie left the Sheldonian. As he went about his business, the people took to the streets in his wake. The people sought just to catch a fleeting glimpse of the man himself. They knew that when they cast their eyes upon this man of the people, they would see a hero and a great leader to light the path for the future. In the dark four years that we must live with, the hero of the times is he who does not surrender his beliefs just to win elections. That man is Bernie Sanders.

A populist? A demagogue? No, Bernie Sanders is adored because he provides the ideas and policies that mainstream Democrats and Republicans have utterly failed to provide. Accusations of “polemic” or “empty rhetoric” are bizarre as Sanders laid out a plan for activists on both sides of the Atlantic to create positive change in both minor and major ways. One of the least accurate and most damaging accusations levelled against Senator Sanders is that he is somehow still selling himself. Indeed, Our Revolution is not just the name of his book but of his organisation, an alliance of grassroots organisers and progressive legislators to influence the next generation of Democratic lawmakers and to take the fight to the Republican party. He is also a patron of Brand New Congress and Justice Democrats, similar progressive groups focusing on Congressional races. If Bernie Sanders is one thing, it’s a man of action.

The audience was not provided, “Polemic, platitudes, and empty rhetoric” as claimed in one Cherwell piece, but instead practical ideas: he praised and encouraged the actions of Governors and State Legislatures in committing the states, in defiance of Washington, to universal healthcare and climate change policy. He talked about building broad coalitions both in Congress and across America to oppose, modify and moderate Republican legislation. He emphasised the continued role of protests in keeping the Trump administration on their toes and reminding the American people just how abnormal this current Presidency is. Sanders interwove proposed solutions and observed problems. Let us remember, Sanders was talking to a broad, foreign audience not about a theoretical presidency but a broad movement.

Given that we are only a few months into Trump’s Presidency, it’ll be at least three years before Democrats are making policy again. Sanders is not here to lecture us on specific solutions but to rally a global movement and to spread an ideology, one of hope and unity. If you came to him looking for tax plans and infrastructural programs, you came to the wrong place.

The reasons Senator Sanders gave for Clinton’s loss might be old news but the reason they are so often circulated is because they are absolutely true. Poor industrial whites turned desperately to Trump as they felt their prosperity slip away and anger at Clinton’s links with Wall Street and Big Business fuelled the populism of Donald Trump. You might see them splashed across Facebook or hear them over hashed at dinner but a repetitive truth is still a truth and, if we neglect these key issues out of boredom, the Left is sure to lose again.

The potential of a Sanders candidacy is not simply an off-hand counterfactual, it is an essential element to consider running forward. Sanders isn’t the most popular politician in the country because he said so or because Baroness Kennedy announced him as such; Harvard-Harris has been running polls on the perception of US Politicians for years and since his rise to prominence nearly two years ago Senator Sanders has consistently topped the list. In polls of Clinton vs Trump, the former held a lead of approximately five per cent, for Sanders vs Trump the lead shot up to approximately twenty per cent. In Indiana, Wisconsin, West Virginia and across the Rust Belt—the states that handed Trump the keys to the White House—Sanders consistently trounced both Clinton and the entirety of the Republican line up. If the Democrats want to win back these regions and the White House come 2020, they should look to Sanders’ example and build upon his successes.

Just because politicians like Bernie Sanders hold ideals and values—an idea so alien to those valueless opportunists politics is plagued with —does not mean that those ideals and values are blindly idealistic or incapable of engaging with real politics. Sanders’ home state of Vermont was staunchly Republican when he entered politics but by cooperating with various left-of-centre groups such as the Liberty Union Party and the Vermont Democrats, Sanders worked his way up against the odds and turned the state blue.

Bernie Sanders was, perhaps, ahead of his time in 2016 but history vindicates him every single day that Trump is in the White House. The Senator is building a movement, spreading the word and providing the solutions for a new age of Progressive politics. He has inspired a generation and brought into politics both old and young who had long since lost their faith. a torch held up in an ever darkening world and a call to arms for a global people feeling ever more abandoned.

The Naked Truth

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“The naked truth”. “Naked as the day she was born”. “Barely there”. Nakedness has saturated our conversations since forever, and these days its even more widespread—in branding and everywhere else. Nakedness is what makes wearing clothes so exciting. The power to strip them off dictates much of the attributes of our fashion choices—zips over buttons, straps over sleeves, and so on. Labels like “Bare Minerals”, “Naked Juice” and “Naked Eyeshadow” all play on our fascination with nudity.

On one level it’s to do with the frisson of sexual excitement that the word provokes, but nakedness also epitomizes wholesomeness, honesty, and innocence—hence its prevalence in the annoying-smoothie business.

Ever since Adam and Eve put some clothes on, we’ve been desperate to get them off again, so it seems paradoxical in a modern, relatively liberated climate that nakedness is being so highly problematised again in social media. Body-related campaigns such as #freethenipple have aroused mixed emotions, ranging from proud boob-barers riding the activist wave with sheer tops and bras to those who believe that such movements miss the point.

Our very own Oxfeud records one frustrated response, “Do you even realise how privileged you are if you can sit around worrying about freeing the nipple?” And it’s true: it is a position of privilege to be concerned with fighting to uncover what constitutes about two inches of flesh online and on Instagram. But that does not mean that it does not matter.

Facebook recently reformed their nudity policy, amid a storm of frustration at Facebook’s censorship of an “iconic” image of the Vietnam War, featuring a naked girl. In case you were wondering, you’re now allowed to see and share “all handmade AND digital nudity” and “handmade Sexual Activity” but the line has been drawn at “Digital Sexual Activity” (which sounds like the least sexy stuff ever created, but each to their own).

Initially, on reading the new policy, I was just deeply confused—why does it really matter if a “hand” or technology has created or recreated an image? Surely that’s the least important facet of the problem—its like allowing watercolours but banning crayons. But thinking deeper, I realised I’m affected by the same prejudices—I guess you could call it snobbery—towards digital art.

I’ve never shared a naked photo but I’m hoping to apply to be a life model. It’s likely that a digital version of my naked body would be more detailed or realistic than a drawing, painting, or sculpture, but not necessarily significantly so. In which case, why does it make a difference to me whether people see my body at an art show or on their phone?
The answer is, of course, an anxiety surrounding being sexually commoditised, as opposed to the desire to contribute to art. Without attempting the impossible task of defining art, I want my nakedness to be entirely my own, and the digitalisation of it for sexual pleasure would, for me, be a violation of the ownership of my body.

Being drawn appeals to me as a liberating, ungendered, and generous action that fascinates me on many levels. But, again, I’ve recently started to question the validity of my reservations. Naked photos used to be a subject of horror for me. Having witnessed underage friends’ naked selfies, and the betrayal, exposure and public shaming by both schools and social circles that would inevitably ensue after the unworthy receiver of the image sent it on, I swore to myself that I would never subject my body, or my self-worth, to such scrutiny.

However since coming to university, the ubiquitousness and creativity of the way people treat and share images of their naked bodies has made me doubt my vow. As someone who likes to get my kit off pretty frequently (I just don’t find clothes very comfortable!) with my friends, perhaps the next stage in accepting my body image is to create an image of body.

It’s a tricky and divisive topic to gauge/ Too many women my age have been hurt or helped through the way their bodies have been viewed by others. But either way, a new tryst needs to be wrought in our digital society that bridges the gap between undressing ourselves and expressing ourselves, and I’m not sure #freethenipple quite cuts it.