Sunday 3rd May 2026
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Letter To: My Incoming College Children

Simone Fraser
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Letter To: My Incoming College Children

Dear College Children,

Knowing that I’m about to become a (college) mother has forced me to realize that I’m no longer a carefree fresher anymore. On the one hand, that’s kind of scary, because first year was genuinely the best, and fastest, year of my life, and the fact that I’m already a third of the way through my degree is a very weird thought.

However, it has also made me think back to how I felt this time last year, when I barely knew anyone and had no idea about all the fantastic things in store for me. So even though I’m looking back on it with happy nostalgia, I’ve got to admit – this time last year I was pretty terrified.

When I started Oxford, I could count the number of people I already knew here on one hand. If you’re in the same situation, I sympathise with how nerve-racking that is. You’re propelling yourself from a fairly comfortable situation back at home, where you know the routines and the people. And even if it’s not a particularly happy situation, it’s your normal. To suddenly give that up and move hours away from where you live is a naturally scary thought, and I can only imagine what it must be like for international students.

Prior to coming to Oxford, it’s likely that your initial impressions of most of your peers-to-be will be based solely on their social media accounts. I remember it seemed to me, getting to know people through group chats and Facebook pages, that almost everyone was either intimidatingly intelligent and dedicated or effortlessly cool and collected.

However, after talking to these people (some of whom are now my close friends) in person, I soon realised that they were all just as down-to-earth and kind as my friends back home – where some of the students at my school went straight into work or an apprenticeship.

You will make friends, you will fit in. There are thousands of people at Oxford, and the vast majority of them are really, truly friendly – plus, you always have our college family!

The other thing that worried me – and which I think is another pretty common theme – was the workload. As a History student, I must admit, I feel I get less work than a lot of the more science-y subjects. However, the flip side of that for me is that the vast majority of History work is independent, and so I’m completely responsible for organizing myself – a daunting prospect as someone fresh out of twelve years of time-tabled school days.

But yet again, looking back on it now, I wonder at how stressed I was about it. It’s another one of those things where everyone’s in the same boat, and the tutors understand that it takes a little while to find your feet. They’ll support and assist you along the way, because they want you to succeed.

Of course, some of them are a bit intimidating at first but it’s worth remembering they’re just people too, and helping you reach your potential is literally their job. Plus, you’ll have the rest of your subject group as well as a ton of other support options available to you if you’re struggling – so don’t feel like you’ll have to deal with your issues on your own.

So, my college children, I am incredibly jealous of you for being at the start of a fantastic chapter of your lives! Oxford isn’t always easy, but the good parts definitely make it worth it. If you need help adjusting, there will be a million people who will go out of their way for you, whether that’s tutors, welfare officers, peer supporters, or your newfound friends. So just try to relax, and remember: enjoy freshers’ week and beyond!

Lots of love,

Your College Mum

Uni ‘spends £108,000’ to recruit each additional low-income student

Isabel Morris
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Uni ‘spends £108,000’ to recruit each additional low-income student

Oxford University spends over £100,000 to recruit each additional student from a poorer background in its annual admissions, according to a recent analysis of Oxford’s access efforts.

The figures, published by Lady Margaret Hall principal and former Guardian editor, Alan Rusbridger, reveal that Oxford’s “cost of acquisition” for each extra student from a low-income area since 2009 is £108,000.

Between 2009 and 2016, Oxford admitted about ten extra students from areas defined as “financially stretched” or regions of “urban adversity” by the Office for Students, while spending at least £14m per year on efforts to improve access as required by higher education regulators.

While some of the £14m is spent on bursaries for students already admitted, the £108,000 figure has been calculated by taking the amount spent on outreach activities and staff per year and then dividing it by the average number of extra students admitted each year.

According to the University, about 20% of all UK postcodes fall into this disadvantaged category, while about 15% of students who meet minimum entry requirements for Oxford (three or more As at A levels) come from these areas.

This means there is a national pool of about 5,000 low-income school-leavers qualified to come to Oxford every year; however, in 2015/16 only 220 ended up attending.

By 2019/20, Oxford hopes to have 9.5% of its 2,600 UK undergraduate entries be low-income students, making for a total of 243 low-income students across the undergraduate student body – just 23 students up from the 220 considered baseline.

Rusbridger writes: “Twenty three works out at less than one per college. To Oxford this is ‘challenging.’

“For comparison, Winchester College (£40,000 fees) sent 24 students to Oxford – about one in three of its Year 13 cohort – in 2017; St Paul’s (£37,719) sends nearly 40.”

Students from low-income postcodes are not the only ones being targeted by outreach schemes. In addition, Oxford focuses on two other primary measures of disadvantage: the number of students from under-represented schools and the number of students from areas of low participation in higher education. The University also has targets for students with disabilities.

Taking into account all three of the disadvantage metrics, while compensating for students who may fall under more than one indicator, Rusbridger calculates that Oxford formally aims to increase the total number of less advantaged students by 90 by 2019/20, just shy of the combined tally of Eton and Westminster students admitted in 2017/18 – 94.

Professor Martin Williams, Pro Vice-Chancellor for Education at Oxford University, told Cherwell: “As Alan says, the University cares passionately about having a fair and accessible admissions system.

“Our outreach spending has several purposes, including widening interest in higher education generally among children from primary age upwards. Presenting this spending simply as a cost per additional widening-participation student admitted to Oxford doesn’t reflect everything it achieves. For example, our work locally with IntoUniversity is dramatically improving entry to all universities among students from Oxford’s most deprived neighbourhoods.

“We have a range of targets for improving access, with 40% of our UK undergraduates now coming from the groups we aim at through outreach. That said, and as Alan rightly points out, more needs to be done.

“We will shortly be setting a further set of demanding targets to ensure Oxford education is open to talented students of all backgrounds. Alan’s article is a welcome contribution to the debate around this.

“Our colleges are key to this and we welcome the commitment and innovation that colleges, including Alan’s, are showing on the vital question of diversifying our student intake.”

Part of the blame for colleges’ sustained reliance on students from private schools is attributed to competition caused by the Norrington Table, which annually ranks colleges by final degree results.

However, statistical analysis currently under way at the Oxford Student Union suggests no connection between the proportion of students from poorer postcodes and final exam scores.

Norrington table ranking % students from poorer postcodes
St John’s University College
Magdalen Mansfield
St Catherine’s Oriel
Merton Jesus College
New College Merton
Jesus College St Peter’s
Brasenose St John’s
Wadham Worcester
Balliol Balliol
Trinity Brasenose
Christ Church Pembroke
Oriel St Hilda’s
St Hilda’s Corpus Christi
Worcester Lincoln
Corpus Christi Wadham
St Peter’s Queen’s College
University College St Anne’s
Exeter Hertford
Queen’s College Christ Church
Mansfield Lady Margaret Hall
Lady Margaret Hall New College
Somerville Somerville
Keble St Catherine’s
St Anne’s Trinity
Pembroke St Hugh’s
Lincoln Magdalen
Hertford Keble
St Hugh’s Exeter
St Edmund Hall St Edmund Hall

Source: Alan Rusbridger 

Colleges such as St John’s, Merton, and Balliol, place in the top ten in both tables.

Warden of Wadham College, Ken Macdonald, is cited by Rusbridger as supporting contextualised admissions, which vary entry requirements according to students’ circumstances.

Macdonald said: “We have to recognise that people in failing schools with difficult socio-economic backgrounds who get themselves in a position to make a competitive application have achieved something extraordinary.

“I mean, someone who’s got an A and two Bs from a crap comprehensive in Hull is quite capable of being as clever, if not cleverer, than someone who got three A*s at Westminster… I think that’s just a kind of basic recognition that people still struggle with.”

Rusbridger’s figures come after news of an Oxford graduate launching a nonprofit aimed at tackling the “structural inequalities” associated with both Oxford and Cambridge. Access Oxbridge hopes to connect 200 disadvantaged students seeking to apply to Oxbridge with current or former students at the two universities by the end of October.

India’s legalisation of gay sex is India’s success, not the West’s

Priya Vempali
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India’s legalisation of gay sex is India’s success, not the West’s

Recently, the Indian Supreme Court made a monumental ruling on the rights of LGBTQ citizens. Since 1861, gay sex has been illegal in the country due to Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which forbids ‘unnatural sex acts’ – a piece of legislation modelled on the English Buggery Act of 1533, which was not repealed in the UK until the 19th century. This month, Section 377 was overturned and gay people in India celebrated their right to have consensual sex with partners of the same gender. It is important to note that not only was this result achieved by the dedicated campaigning of pro-LGBTQ groups in India, it also came about with little to no international pressure. Far from the image of a ‘backwards’ India that is so often portrayed in the news, this ruling marked a huge step in modern India’s fight for social equality – a fight that has been going on for decades.

In the days that followed the repeal of Section 377, Western media outlets were flooded with headlines about India’s landmark Supreme Court decision – and (most of them) rightly noted the colonial origins of the homophobic legislation. However, in many papers there was little reference to the years of grassroots activism that led up to this decision, or the significance of the ruling upon other key issues such as the right to privacy and individual autonomy. The coverage failed to bring attention to the years of campaigning by pro-LGBTQ groups such as the Naz Foundation, or the growing levels of support for LGBTQ rights in India, particularly in urban communities.

What’s worse, when they did attempt to discuss the contextual issues that led up to this ruling, they did so in the most obtuse and ignorant way possible. Take the following lines from the New York Times’ coverage of the ruling, for example:

“Many Indians are extremely socially conservative, going to great lengths to arrange marriages with the right families, of the right castes […] India has a complicated record on gay issues. Its dominant religion, Hinduism, is actually quite permissive of same-sex love.”

As a British Indian reading this article, lines like these make my skin crawl. The reductive tone, the oversimplifications, and the apparent surprise that Hinduism may ‘actually’(!) be progressive, is not only insulting, but downright disgraceful when coming from an acclaimed media outlet that ought to know better.

I am not saying, of course, that India is a beacon of liberal morality with no difficulties left ahead. There are many issues still facing the LGBTQ community, and a lot more work needs to be done. However, over the past decade attitudes have been slowly shifting, thanks to the concerted efforts of liberal Indian activists and organisations. And yet, reading the West’s coverage of this Supreme Court ruling, one would hardly believe this.

Western news outlets on both sides of the political spectrum have shown themselves as inept when it comes to reporting on ‘third world’ issues – or, indeed, any issues arising in countries that possess a vastly differing culture from the UK. When we see India in the news, it is usually followed by a report of increasing violence, poverty, and patriarchal discrimination. Unsurprisingly, this works to alienates India and its apparent ‘third world backwardness’ from the supposedly ‘liberal and tolerant’ West. India’s social, economic and political achievements are rarely discussed by Western media, and when they are, they are often framed in a paternalistic tone that implies the West’s moral superiority in having arrived at a state of social liberalism before its global counterparts.

There is, of course, no mention of the fact that the social conservatism which besets much of the Global South is partially the result of past Western colonialist endeavours that imposed a traditionalist morality onto much of the rest of the world. In the case of Section 377, there is a distinct and unavoidable link to the homophobic and morally reprehensible legislation of its coloniser at the time.

So, when political commentators flippantly suggest that India is finally ‘catching up with the times’ and growing towards the West’s liberal, enlightened state, I laugh. To me, it seems like little more than a dressed-up continuation of Britain’s historic ‘white saviour’ complex, swooping in to save the rest of the world from itself. The West must of course be allies with India in the global fight for social liberation and equality, but it must also remember its own role in creating those conditions it now seeks to condemn. It must educate itself before it speaks on matters that it does not fully understand, and must give credit where credit is due – to the Indian people who have brought about this historic achievement.

The Art of Small Talk

Becky Cook
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The Art of Small Talk

At the beginning of October a hormonal mass of teens, infused with adrenalin and trepidation, will descend on Oxford for a week of clumsy revelry. Fresher’s Week returns, and with it the familiar conversational wormhole of repetition: Where are you from? What school did you go to? What A levels did you do?

While you ask fellow Fresher’s what their degree is, you are liable to feel a dull twinge of repulsion at this lack of originality. You’re at Oxford; you’re meant to be smarter than this drivel.

However, you can come to embrace these stale exchanges as a necessary evil. They not only aid you in determining who you will be seeing in lectures, but importantly fill the dreaded chasm of silence that could open up if you don’t fill it with such inanity.

This mindless charade, featuring facts both parties will instantly forget, will finally come to a close and then the struggle begins in earnest. Once name, course and college have all been categorised what is there left to talk about?

There is an unspoken fear that lurks beneath all Fresher’s Week conversations, prompting people to avoid disclosing any concrete feelings or opinions beyond the bland. The fear is one of a conversational slip up that will provoke widespread repulsion and hilarity at your expense. In this alternate universe, one wrong world will lead to a lifetime of woe and isolation.

The reality is that most will neither notice nor care if you’re a pinhead or a prick during Fresher’s Week. Everyone is equally trying to muddle along unscathed. If you truly make a fool of yourself in a particular situation, you could always become an amnesiac and reintroduce yourself days later on. If this do-over is just as fraught, repeat the reintroduction until it works. At least they won’t knock you for trying.

At this juncture, there are two options. Alcohol’s capacity to loosen the tongue is only rivalled by the more grisly methods of interrogation. Most reach for the bottle, take a swig and start to yell ‘Down it Fresher’ at each other. You could then break into a rousing chorus of ‘We like to drink with (name)’, however proceed with caution lest you have forgotten the target’s name and are forced to mumble some incoherence instead.

However, don’t feel pressured to drink if you don’t want to. The popular conversational starter during my Fresher’s Week was gossip, and as a gossipmonger, I have no qualms in promoting the fun that can be had in exchanging sensational tidbits. Given that it’s Fresher’s Week, you certainly won’t be deprived of content and salacious blather could be the oil that turns the conversational wheel. If you happen to find yourself the subject of the chatter then, fear not, the rumour mill is always turning, and someone else’s fiasco will soon replace yours.

Last year, it was of note how Fresher’s Week heavily featured conversations surrounding the superstar of their intake, Malala Yousafzai. The same may be apparent this year, but it seems it would be much more fruitful for your conversation and imagination to speculate on who in college will be famous in the future. Then, most importantly, plot out how you can piggyback on their success or disrupt them before it happens. There’s nothing like a sabotage operation to cement lasting friendships.

You will know the week is rolling to an end once talk becomes punctured with coughs and snivelling whimpers. When fresher’s flu rears its ugly head, and you inevitably contract it, celebrate the fact by telling everyone how ill you are. It becomes a perverse game of one-upmanship, where all ailing freshers compete for the reigning title of most plague-ridden.

When the weekend finally arrives, you are likely to feel a rather dim shadow of yourself, but Fresher’s week is no normal week at university and you will come to look back on it and the conversational quirks with wistful merriment.

The ‘Brideshead Revisited’ reputation haunting Oxford

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The ‘Brideshead Revisited’ reputation haunting Oxford

Brideshead Revisited is not a book about Oxford: it is a book about aristocracy, religion, and death. Yet somehow, almost 75 years after it was first written, it continues to be one of the most famous fictional portrayals of life at our university. Our enduring fascination with Waugh’s portrait of university life, peppered with the drunken antics of rebellious upperclassmen, anecdotes of the eccentric and fashion forward Anthony Blanche, and the dramatic sending down of the troubled young Lord Sebastian Flyte, says something about how we see Oxford today. A clash is emerging between this traditional image of the university, and what a modern Oxford would like to be.

The normality of our university, especially in the present day, is edited out of literature like Brideshead Revisited. Yes, the Bodleian has a distinctly ‘Oxford’ vibe, but most of us drown out the sights and sounds of such historic locations with the sterile glow of a laptop screen and a playlist of blaring pop music that makes the next hour of study tolerable. When you are running down the High Street to a lecture that started 10 minutes ago, you stop appreciating the remarkable architecture of our city.

However, normality doesn’t make for a particularly good story. It is a natural human inclination to want to be part of something exclusive, and I think our attachment to such fantastical portrayals of life at Oxford demonstrates this. We like the fact that we are part of an institution that is a bit of a mystery to those on the outside. The existence of this sentiment is confirmed by the popularity of sub fusc among the student body and the endurance of a whole host of other traditions that are entirely superfluous aside from the fact that they are fun to indulge in.

Interestingly, the Oxford of Brideshead Revisited is from the 1940s. The university was definitely more exclusive in decades gone by, and it was almost certainly closer to the world that Waugh describes. But the fact that our cultural imprint is still drawing on an Oxford that no longer exists is revealing in itself. In recent times, Oxford has undergone a drive towards accessibility and diversification that has, in many ways, caused our university to change beyond recognition. There has been a vigorous emphasis on making university seem accessible to all and showing potential students that there is a place at Oxford for people of all backgrounds.

The fact that the legacy of this literature, and the picture of Oxford to which it has contributed, is something that now has to be fought against, shows just how pervasive such images can be. These more recent access movements that try to address the problematic side effects of magnifying these unrealistic aspects of Oxford life show us that it may be time for a new genre of ‘Oxford’ literature.

This leaves us with two conflicting forces that are currently meeting when it comes to our cultural and literary portrayals of Oxford. One enjoys the semi-historic, mystical and ostentatious picture that has been expressed through Brideshead Revisited, but also other literature and films like The History Boys and The Riot Club. Another seeks a more realistic, constructive, forward-looking version of our university that might allow it to open its doors to a wider group of students. Only time will tell the fate of iconic ‘Oxford’ literature like Brideshead Revisited as this struggle plays out.

New rape case opened against Oxford professor

Angus Brown
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New rape case opened against Oxford professor

This articles makes reference to rape and sexual assault.

A new rape and sexual misconduct investigation has been opened in Switzerland against Oxford academic Tariq Ramadan.

Ramadan, who has been detained since February, already faces other similar charges in France.

According to the Tribune de Genève, Geneva’s Special Prosecutor has confirmed the decision to open a formal criminal inquiry into the allegations formally lodged in April that Ramadan sexually assaulted a woman in a Geneva hotel in October 2008.

The lawyer representing Romain Jordan, who came forward with the allegations, described the decision to open a formal criminal inquiry as a “major advance”, and commended the Geneva police for having “worked quickly and worked well” in pursuing charges against Ramadan.

Although Ramadan is a Swiss citizen, Swiss prosecutors will have to travel to France to conduct questioning.

The 56-year-old scholar has denied all allegations of wrongdoing. He has also complained that his continued detention in France has made it difficult for him to seek treatment for multiple sclerosis.

Ramadan, an Islamic scholar and professor at St Anthony’s College, took leave from his post at Oxford University after allegations were made in November last year.

In a previous statement, the University said that it “has consistently acknowledged the gravity of the allegations against Professor Ramadan”, whilst also clarifying that “an agreed leave of absence implies no presumption or acceptance of guilt.”

Ramadan was questioned on Tuesday in the presence of a woman identified only as Christelle, who alleges he assaulted her in a hotel in Lyon, France in 2009.

In total, four women have come forward to the police with allegations of sexual assault against Professor Ramadan.

Oxford grad launches new access initiative

Daniel Hall
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Oxford grad launches new access initiative

An Oxford graduate has set up a non-profit startup aimed at tackling the “structural inequalities” associated with the University of Oxford and the University of Cambridge.

Founded by recent graduate Joe Seddon, Access Oxbridge will connect disadvantaged students seeking to apply to Oxbridge with current or former students at the two universities. The organisation states that it will utilise online communication technology to give disadvantaged students the “resources and soft skills” needed to compete with their more affluent peers.

As part of the scheme, Oxbridge ‘mentors’ will deliver live video tutorials offering personal statement advice, admissions test guidance, and mock interviews.

Seddon, founder and CEO, studied PPE at Mansfield College, the college with the highest percentage of state school students across both Oxford and Cambridge.

Recently, Oxford’s admission statistics have attracted criticism nationwide. Labour MP David Lammy has repeatedly called on Oxford and Cambridge to improve their class and ethnic diversity, accusing Oxford of ‘social apartheid’ last year.

As Cherwell reported earlier this year, more students were admitted to Oxford in 2017 from the top twelve independent schools than from all state comprehensives.

Explaining why he believes such inequalities to be significant, Seddon told Cherwell: “Oxbridge regularly admits twice as many students from Eton as it does students eligible for free school meals.

“Such glaring inequalities increasingly matter in a world in which the financial benefits of education are continuously rising, with Oxbridge graduates expected to earn a £400,000 lifetime premium compared to graduates from other British universities.”

Seddon believes that Access Oxbridge offers something that access programmes organised by colleges and the universities do not.

He said: “There’s been a lot of good access work done by students from both universities, but much of it so far has concentrated on transforming Oxbridge’s image and dispelling pernicious myths.

“This doesn’t go far enough in solving the resource and skills gap between disadvantaged students and their more affluent peers”.

Reflecting on his personal experience of the Oxford admissions process, Seddon hopes that his new organisation will give more disadvantaged students the knowledge and ability to complete a successful application.

“As a ‘disadvantaged student’ myself who attended the UNIQ summer school in 2014, I remember the distinct lack of confidence I had about my chances of gaining a place at Oxford.

“I did not know anyone who could help me prepare for a university admissions test, and I was wholly reliant on an overburdened History teacher at my state sixth form to introduce me to the format of an Oxford interview.”

Access Oxbridge are now campaigning to convince current and former Oxbridge students to commit to mentor a disadvantaged student for an hour each week.

Within 24 hours of launching, over 100 Oxbridge students had signed up to be mentors. This number has grown since to over 200, and so far over 20 disadvantaged students have been connected to Oxbridge mentors.

Access Oxbridge hopes to connect 200 students to mentors by the end of October.

The scheme has received a positive reception among students from both universities targeted. Cambridge SU President, Evie Aspinall, said: “This sounds like a really great project.”

Laura Worman, a former Geography student who graduated from Oxford this year, is one of those who have signed up to be a mentor. She said: “This is such an incredible initiative. It’s great to finally be given the chance to connect directly with the disadvantaged students which Oxbridge has been previously failing to admit.

“As someone who went to a state comprehensive with little Oxbridge success, I’m really keen to break the stigma that Oxbridge isn’t for everyone and use my own experience to help disadvantage students realise their full potential.”

Which TV show has the best intro music?

Cherwell Music
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Which TV show has the best intro music?

Abdul Wajid

Show: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Song: ‘Unbreakable’ – Jeff Richmond

“Unbreakable! They’re alive, dammit! It’s a miracle!” This is something that will be on loop in your head for days if not weeks, mostly as a result of binging all four seasons of Netflix’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Much like the show itself, the intro mirrors and comments on viral trends, and is one big pop-culture reference. Very much a product of The Office, starring Ellie Kemper whilst written and created by Tina Fey; the show is jammed packed with jokes being delivered before you have even stopped laughing at the previous one. The pilot episode is no exception to this. We open with a news report depicting the titular character and 3 others being rescued from a bunker after being help captive for 15 years in an underground religious cult. This then morphs into the theme – a fucking Songify remix! Not just a social commentary but a hit in its own right, the song was created by Jeff Richmond with the help of viral hit legends the Gregory Brothers, responsible for ‘Bedroom Intruder’ and ‘Songify the News’. At the heart of the show, we have the theme positivity and taking-things-light-heartedly which is apparent from intro, as a report on a horrendous story is moulded into a hilarious and catchy song. If this hasn’t convinced you how great the intro is, take a listen for yourself.

Lydia Stephens

Show: Gilmore Girls

Song: ‘Where You Lead’ – Caroline King

In 2000, Carole King was asked to re-record a version of her song ‘Where You Lead’ for the TV show Gilmore Girls. The song, being a hit from 1971, could not have seemed more incongruous. Though today both the song and the show feel dated. At the time, they seemed made for each other. King’s initial version was one of several love songs from her album Tapestry. ‘Where You Lead’ had been vetoed in the late 70s by the Women’s Liberation Movement given that the lyrics celebrate a woman following – through love – her man’s lead. As a result, King often left the song out of her repertoire. However, three decades later with minor changes to the lyrics, the song was refigured to fit the mother-daughter theme of Gilmore Girls. This is the version most fans of the show will know, and the version King has since performed with her own daughter, Louise Goffin, who makes a cameo as the Town Troubadour in the show’s final follow up season. Despite her success in the 70’s, it’s as though King had to wait for this particular single to be appreciated by a completely different generation with its newer meaning.

Louis Beer

Show: Malcolm in the Middle

Song: ‘Boss of Me’ – They Might be Giants

Unbelievably, this song has a music video. And it’s not just the opening credits – with clips of old cartoons and footage of WWF wrestling – it’s three minutes long! If any theme was perfectly formed at 30 seconds, it was ‘Boss of Me’. Ten seconds of speak-singing, twenty seconds of yelling, and then the phrase ‘life is unfair’. The lyrics perfectly capture being angry at something vague – your family or your school or trigonometry; this whole opening emits a nostalgia for growing up in the early 2000s in middle America, even if you grew up a decade later in The Wirral (you haven’t heard of it). This is because it’s pure pop-punk cheese, reflected by the (again, wholly unnecessary) video in which the members of They Might be Giants are wearing suits and sunglasses and the camera moves far too much. At one point John Flansburgh is eaten by Bryan Cranston. It’s cliché to say something transports you to a simpler time, sure, but ‘Boss of Me’s’ brilliance is in its stupid simplicity.

Tommy Hurst

Show: BoJack Horseman

Song: ‘BoJack’s Theme’ – Patrick Carney, Ralph Carney

‘BoJack Horseman’ is a show that walks a thin line between childish humour and a complex portrayal of the protagonist’s mental state in its depiction of a has-been anthropomorphic horse living in LA, the show’s intro sequence being a perfect encapsulation of this with simple, yet powerful visuals perfectly accompanied by music from Patrick and Ralph Carney.

The intro opens with a jarring synth quasi-arpeggio and a shot panning around and up to BoJack’s solitary house in the hills. A drumbeat kicks in and BoJack rises from bed, the background moving as he remains still, his listless expression never failing; the world is revolving around a static BoJack, yet nothing penetrates his cold solitude. Surrounded by all the things representative of the celebrity that he so craves (parties, fans, paparazzi etc.), BoJack’s expression is still that of misery, this being complimented by a haunting call and response pattern on a distorted guitar as well as a soulful trombone and saxophone combination.mFollowing this climax, the track then closes with a solitary saxophone, powerfully symbolising the sadness and ineffectuality of BoJack’s life; in much the same way that his career moves towards what he wants while only providing him with transient happiness, the track builds and then ends in a sad manner. A shot of BoJack lying alone in his pool then closes a sequence that begins and ends with the horse-man on his own, aptly summarising his struggles with existence.

Isabella Welch

Show: Vikings

Song: ‘If I had a heart’ – Fever Ray

The haunting chant of Fever Ray’s ‘If I had a Heart’ playing over scenes of a wreck of a Viking longship has to be my favourite TV opening. The song features a heavy reverberating bass that still manages to sound calm, which matches the underwater scenes of still artefacts falling from the ship – an axe, plundered gold, the drowning bodies of protagonists shieldmaiden Lagertha and King Ragnar Lothbrok. It is a devastating scene, with glimpses of distant fires and corpses, but oddly tranquil. It suits the theme of the show, a rare portrayal of the Vikings which shows subtler geopolitics between Norse, Anglo-Saxon and French factions, where tension builds from episode to episode, instead of it being a mere slurry of violence. The Icelandic saga ‘The Tale of Ragnar Lodbrok’ is all history has to understand this period in time, and it places King Ragnar between man and myth. This opening – a watery destructive perpetuity situated impossibly between life and death – couldn’t do a better job of creating a mysterious, mythical but gritty atmosphere to set up the show.

Caleb-Daniel Oyekanmi

Show: Power

Song: ‘Big Rich Town’ – 50 Cent, Joe

This opening song simply slaps. It’s fantastic. Power itself is a show revolving around Ghost – a successful drug dealer and business owner, focusing on the troubles that he and his family go through owing to their circumstances, their past actions and their current flaws. The theme tune features beautiful vocal harmonies from artist and songwriter Joe, who serenades watchers with the lyrics “They say this is a big rich town, I just come from the poorest part”. 50 Cent brings a strong performance to the track, effectively summing up main character’s journey without ever having to directly mention it. But the song’s brilliance lies in the fact that it somehow manages to combine the image of a powerful and successful businessman while still touching upon his struggle, as well as the issues of racial inequality and a lack of social mobility in America. Your favourite TV show introduction could never. This is the clear and obvious choice for me, and I’m sure someday you’ll come to see the light too.

Life After A-Levels: Keeping up Languages

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Life After A-Levels: Keeping up Languages

You’ve whittled your three or four A-Level subjects down to one or two, or abandoned them completely in favour of something brand new. About to be thrown into an unfamiliar academic environment, it’s tempting to try to keep your old subjects as part of your studies. Languages in particular seem difficult to let go of, and for good reason. Knowing another language is useful, and if you’ve been through the British education system, unusual. A language needs constant attention whether you want to improve or maintain your level of understanding, and it’s possible, if a tad time-consuming, to do so.

For fairly casual language upkeep, watching films and TV shows in your target language is your best option. Whilst Netflix’s collection of foreign language media is sparse, the Walter Presents section of Channel 4’s on-demand service, All4, boasts eighty shows, including several in French, German, Portuguese and other European languages, plus a few in Hebrew. And if you would rather use films but don’t have access to Netflix, the Language Centre library has a good collection of DVDs available to borrow.

This is the least stressful way to keep up with a language, and there are several ways you can use TV and film. You can watch with or without English subtitles, switch to subtitles in your target language, transcribe the speech to practice your writing skills, pick up new vocabulary and practice using it in sentences.

If you want to brush up your reading skills but don’t feel ready to tackle a book, the Language Centre library also carries magazines and newspapers. Go at the right time, and you may be able to pick one or two up to take home. On top of this, newsagents in Oxford often offer German and French newspapers as well as English publications, and WHSmiths on Cornmarket has a good selection of foreign language magazines too.

Oxford’s Language Centre, located on Banbury Road, offers reading and speaking classes for twelve languages at different levels. These courses aren’t free, but if you prefer learning in a classroom environment may be a worthwhile investment. There are two kinds of course on offer: LASR courses, which are signed up for on a termly basis and are fairly casual, and OPAL courses, which run from Michaelmas to Trinity and are examined. LASR courses are cheaper, and can be joined mid-year, meaning you can assess your workload and timetable in Michaelmas and then sign up in Hilary if you feel you will have the time to attend classes.

Before signing up to a language course, bear in mind that a LASR course will probably mean a time commitment of at least one hour a week and the tutor may set homework. An OPAL course will have a greater time commitment and require more work outside of class. An hour a week doesn’t sound like much, but it can be overwhelming if you’re struggling to balance your regular workload too.

Apps are also worth looking into. Duolingo allows users to take a placement test in, so you can pick up where you left off and develop your language skills at your own pace. Memrise, which is great for learning vocabulary, may be something you have already used, and can continue with. Maintaining the words you have already learnt there might be repetitive, but such activities can be a welcome break from slaving away over an essay.

If the subject you want to keep studying in your own time isn’t a language, SOLO, the online library catalogue, is the best place to start. Many texts are now available online, so you can read them as quickly as your workload allows without worrying about due dates and fines. When your eyes refuse to read any more, the Internet will provide. Podcasts, YouTube crash courses, documentaries – whatever you want to learn, you can find. A particularly good springboard is the BBC’s In Our Time podcast, which covers an almost ridiculous diversity of topics. Host Melvyn Bragg discusses an often very specific topic with two or three specialists in the subject, whose work you could look into afterwards.

Whether you’re maintaining language skills or trying to continue studying another subject, it’s important to not overwhelm yourself. In Michaelmas, make settling in and managing your degree your priority – keeping up the subjects you studied at A-Level is a bonus. A few weeks in, studying something else in your free time might become a fun break from tutorial work. Or you might find that you don’t want to keep going with a subject: it might take up too much time this term, be less enjoyable outside the classroom environment, or it just might not interest you anymore. And that’s fine – something that’s causing unnecessary stress or boredom isn’t worth your time, especially not when you are surrounded by opportunities to try something new.

Iranian hackers steal sensitive Oxford research

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Iranian hackers steal sensitive Oxford research

Iranian hackers have stolen millions of sensitive documents from both Oxbridge universities in a targeted move at many universities worldwide.

The hacked papers are then sold online through WhatsApp to customers in Iran for as little as £2, as part of a global campaign linked to Iran’s Revolutionary Guard, according to The Times.

The hackers, believed to be part of the Colbolt Dickens group operating out of Iran, have targeted 76 universities in 14 countries.

A spokesperson for Oxford University told Cherwell: “The University is aware of the claims, but we have confidence in the robust information security measures already in place.”

The hackers have been targeting unpublished research on sensitive topics including nuclear power, computer file encryption and cyber security, circumventing US sanctions on the sale of academic research to Iran.

The scam creates duplicates of each university’s login page, so students and academics hand over their account name and password believing they are logging in to the actual university website.

The discovery of the attacks by the IT company Secureworks comes just half a year after the US Department of Justice warned of Iranian hackers targeting universities.

A former MI5 and GCHQ officer, Dave Palmer, told The Telegraph: “Universities should be worrying about it.”

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