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“Oxford SU” to replace OUSU brand

Cherwell News
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“Oxford SU” to replace OUSU brand

Oxford University Student Union (OUSU) will become Oxford SU in the first major rebranding exercise of its kind since the creation of the student union in its current form in 1974.

Not to be confused with the Oxford Union debating society, OUSU has served as a forum for collaboration between JCRs and MCRs and for student activism more generally, though it has long lacked its own cafe or bar, unlike student unions at other universities its own café or bar.

Following a year of research, however, a new look and a new name for OUSU was developed in conjunction with  Spy Studio, a London-based design firm. Oxford SU, as the union will now be known, will accompany a comprehensive new website in September. A “modern, approachable brand”, finding an image “which improved [the union’s] connection with every student” was cited as the key objective of the redesign.

The student union will also move offices in time for the new academic year, moving across the street from 2 Worcester St to larger premises at 4 Worcester St.

OUSU, which last year had a student satisfaction rate of 34%, was founded in 1961 as the Oxford University Student Representative Council after University authorities attempted to ban The Isis (a sister publication of Cherwell) from publishing reviews of lectures.

As former VP Eden Bailey told Cherwell, however, much of OUSU’s work happened behind the scenes: “A huge challenge we face is that not many people realise that a number of the great things that common rooms do offer are facilitated by OUSU, from discount contraceptives to developing papers and other resources to lobby Colleges on important issues.”

A new focus on the student union’s visibility amongst students began earlier this year, with the launch of an OUSU-run club night at Plush, a new Springtide festival, and an anti-stress “Thoughtless Moments” campaign.

Introducing Oxford SU

New look, new developments, but still here for you!: ousu.org/oxfordsu/brand/ Thank you to all the students who helped us in this process. Website coming September 2017!We'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions for our development: commsmanager@ousu.ox.ac.uk

Posted by Oxford SU on Wednesday, August 16, 2017

In a tweet, the OUSU VP for Graduates, Marianne Melsen, praised the new design.

Not all felt positively about the rebranding, however. Former President of the Oxford University Liberal Democrats and New College classicist, Harry Samuels, was concerned with the cost.

He told Cherwell: “Similar rebrands at other universities have cost tens of thousands of pounds of students’ money, with normally the same effect – a silly looking logo that weakens the organisation’s brand.

“OUSU need to explain how much this is costing, what was so bad about the previous logo that meant they had to change it, and whether it will be finally voted upon by students.”

Oxford SU will launch its new website with support resources, a clubs and societies directory, and an events calendar in September.

Oxford SU was contacted for comment.

Malala Yousafzai accepted to study at Oxford

Akshay Bilolikar
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Malala Yousafzai accepted to study at Oxford

Malala Yousafzai, the Nobel Prize winning activist who narrowly avoided death after being shot by the Pakistani Taliban, will attend Lady Margaret Hall (LMH) after meeting her AAA A-level offer today.

In a tweet, Yousafzai expressed her excitement at the prospect of coming up to Oxford, whilst wishing luck to fellow sixth formers receiving their A level results.

 

Speaking at an education conference in Birmingham, Yousafzai told the Association of School and College Leaders (ASCL) she wanted to stay focussed on her Malala Fund work.

In January, Yousafzai confirmed in an interview that she had sat an interview at LMH, which she described as “the hardest interview of my life.”

It  was later reported by The Telegraph and Cherwell in March that Malala had received an offer from the college.

In studying PPE at LMH, Yousafzai will hope to follow the path of her hero Benazir Bhutto, the former Prime Minister of Pakistan. Bhutto, who served as President of the Oxford Union, was assassinated in 2007 by Al-Qaeda.

Yousafzai has lived in Birmingham since being treated at the city’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital after surviving an assassination attempt by Taliban gunmen in 2012.

While living under Taliban rule, Yousafzai had written a blog under a pseudonym which featured her thoughts on girls’ education.

She later rose to global prominence as a campaigner for girls’ education. In 2013, she addressed the General Assembly of the United Nations, and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014.

In a statement, Bob Price, the Leader of Oxford City Council, welcomed Malala’s announcement. He said: “The City Council is delighted to welcome Malala Yousafzai to Oxford. It is a great privilege for the city and the University that Malala has chosen to come here and we wish her every success in her studies, and happiness during her time as one of our citizens.

“Malala’s courage and intelligence have been inspirational to many young people across the world, and her stand against intolerance, violence and prejudice has been an example for us all.”

Oxford University and Lady Margaret Hall have been contacted for comment.

So, you got into Oxford? Here’s what to expect

Rosa Thomas
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So, you got into Oxford? Here’s what to expect

After months of interviews, exams and constantly refreshing UCAS Track, you now know it for real: you got in. You’re going to Oxford, congratulations.

You might be the kind of fresher that had an Oxford University-themed mood board hanging above your bed for the past eight years, but the chances are you actually know very little about the place you’ll be calling home come October.

The truth is, most of us were so focused on getting in, we never stopped to think about what being at Oxford would really be like. So, for those of you who have woken up to the fact that you will be this year’s freshers, here’s some advice about what to expect.

Unpacking the myths

“I wonder if anybody does anything at Oxford but dream and remember, the place is so beautiful,” W. B. Yeats famously wrote. He was right: it’s often hard to tell from the way people write about Oxford whether it is university or a surreal Harry Potter-esque dreamscape, complete with gowns, croquet, and wizened old men telling you to read.

So, what is the reality behind the myths? Let’s unpack some of the biggest misconceptions about what to expect from Oxford student life.

  1. Not everyone is an elitist arse

It’s fair to say you might be feeling hesitant. Student life at Oxford is surrounded by many myths – perpetuated by debauched stories in national newspapers, questionable rumours about David Cameron, and tales from your uncle who went there in the 70s. We’re given the impression that everyone is a Hawking-esque genius who never leaves the library, or an elitist arse who looks like Sam Claflin. None of these fables are true (if someone at Oxford looked like Sam Claflin, I’d definitely know).

But all myths originate from a kernel of truth, and those about Oxford are no different. The city of dreaming spires has produced 50 Nobel prize winners, 120 Olympic medal winners, and 27 British Prime Ministers.

However, it is also true that students at Oxford get locked out of their college dorm rooms, ‘forget’ to unpack until half way through the term and spend Wednesday nights breaking out their moves on the ‘cheese floor’ at Park End. All these things are ‘Oxford’, even though they do not make it into the wider mythical portrayal of this university.

2. You can go out

Despite popular opinion, it is fake news that Oxford students do not go out. Yes, the party lifestyle may be limited by the fact that nearly everything – including McDonald’s – closes at 3am, but the creative among us still find ways to party into the early hours.

For example, most college libraries are open 24 hours, so if you want to continue the party there’s always opportunities for a late night adventure with the Dewey Decimal System. To survive an Oxford night out you must first plan your post-club food, because if you went out and didn’t get a kebab, cheesy chips, or something with humus, did you even go out? Whilst Hassan’s is the most famous of the food trucks, if you’re edgy or on the fringes, there are many other options, such as Ali’s or McCoy’s.

To truly appreciate Oxford clubbing however, it is essential to come prepared with a good music taste. Joking. More than half the clubs in Oxford have been known to play songs from High School Musical, with varying levels of irony. As with everything in Oxford, everyone has a different favourite club, even those who (questionably) prefer Fever.

Things you need to know

  1. The Oxford lingo

First, there’s the fact that everyone at Oxford speaks in code. All words can be shortened or combined, and you will soon find yourself talking about the ‘pidge’, your pigeon hole, waiting in the ‘plodge’, the porters lodge, or working in the ‘bod’, the Bodleian Library (not to be confused with a ‘bop’, a fancy-dress college party).

2. College parents

In the next few weeks, you’re going to hear from a couple of dank haired 19 or 20-year-olds purporting to be your parents. Don’t worry, these your ‘college parents’ – essentially, a couple of second-years who have been assigned to look over you for the coming year. It’s worth not taking this too seriously: some college parent-child pairings can flourish into degree-long, intimate (and at times incestuous) relationships, while others can result in a reluctant smile on Monday of freshers week and another name on your Facebook news feed. Either way, they can usually be relied on for helpful advice in the coming weeks.

3. Freshers week… what to avoid

Once you’ve impressed the cool kids by knowing the right slang, the first thing you can expect from Freshers’ Week itself is to be given, or rather be made to buy, a college freshers’ t-shirt: if you’re lucky, it won’t be in neon orange. Freshers’ Week will not only teach you how to use the libraries, it will also be your first foray into Oxford nightlife.

Freshers’ is also an opportunity to explore Oxford’s many pubs and cafes. It’s important to find both your favourite and closest cafe, not just so you can start to feel part of the fabric of the place but also because they can be a surprisingly good place to work if you want to escape the library. Befriending the owners is always a good move. The other staple of Freshers’ Week is the freshers’ fair. This will be the first test of your emotional resilience. Either come prepared to say no, or accept that you will say yes to everything out of social awkwardness, after which you will leave with a lot of plastic shot glasses, heaps of propaganda and a lifetime membership to underwater hockey.

With over 200 clubs and societies at Oxford, finding something you are interested in is a great way to make friends outside of college and ensure your life is more than just essay crises and queueing for Bridge. Although, you will be receiving emails from these societies until the day you die.

4. Your tutors

Once you’ve survived all this, your first tutorial is probably on the horizon. The relationship between a student and a tutor is a complex one.

At points, you will probably severely dislike your tutor, nearly as much as they will severely dislike you for taking them away from their research and not knowing that vital piece of legislation passed in 1689. Eventually, though, you will also come to realise that they are one of the most intelligent people you have ever met, and thus invaluable to actually passing your university exams. Every tutor is different: some will be friendly, some will be maternal, some will be aloof, and some will subscribe to the ‘tough love’ doctrine. Your first tutorial is your first opportunity to suss out what breed your tutor is and begin to plan your adaptive strategies accordingly, they won’t change, so you have to. It is also where you will get your first impression of your tutorial partner, who can either be your best friend or arch-nemesis. Choose wisely.

5. Reading lists

You might have already commenced on your eye-wateringly terrifying 32-book reading list. If it looks too long, it probably is, and even the harshest of tutors wouldn’t expect you to read more than a fraction of it, so don’t waste too many hours in your local library in the coming weeks trying to get through it. After you’re first week, you’ll soon realise these really do not matter, and any meaningful reading is done the night before your essay is due, or, more likely, five minutes before your first tutorial.

6. Cherwell

Since you’re reading this article, chances are you have a fairly good idea already what Cherwell is. We’re Oxford’s most-read, and most-respected, student newspaper, championing bold and fearless student journalism since 1920 (or something). A stack of our newspapers will be delivered to your JCR (Common Room) every week, containing all the latest news, opinion and, at times, salacious gossip for your consumption.

Unlike other student outlets, we’re fiercely independent, meaning we aren’t held back by meddling by the Iniversity. Recently, we’ve held the university to account how much it pays its staff, and revealed Exeter College’s attempts to police its students speaking about their ket use online.

Want to get involved? We’re always eager to have new writers, and if you’d like to write for us, fill out this form or drop our page a message on Facebook, and we’ll be in touch.

We also have groups for Comment Writers, Culture Contributors, News Reporters, and Life Writers. Add yourself to get involved.

Oxford – constantly changing

In my first tutorial, we were told to look back over the summer reading – most of which I had not read – on Edward Gibbon. That evening, whilst panic reading his work Memoirs of my Life, I came across the quote: “To the University of Oxford I acknowledge no obligation; and she will as cheerfully renounce me for a son, as I am willing to disclaim her for a mother.” Gibbon, a canonical historian, hated Oxford and was made to leave. Obviously, that’s a little concerning to read at the end of your first week.

But his 18th-century shade highlights that Oxford is not always a beautiful ‘opera’ where we do nothing but ‘dream and remember’. Oxford is a real place, one where for the next three years you will fail and succeed and laugh and cry. I can’t really tell anyone what to expect from Oxford.

Oxford is not an intimidating, time-warped museum piece, but is constantly changing, made different every year by the people who arrive. If I have any actual advice, it is firstly to realise that G&Ds ice cream is overrated, and secondly, not to be worried that you aren’t ‘Oxford’ enough.

In the most cliché way possible, Oxford is what you make of it.

Hannah Kessler: “Music is an incredibly therapeutic thing”

Lily Begg
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Hannah Kessler: “Music is an incredibly therapeutic thing”

Hannah Kessler, an Arc-and-Anth student from St Hugh’s, is one of the most formidable up and coming musicians at Oxford. Having just released a new music video for her fierce single, My Love is Not a Currency, and with an album release on the horizon, I wanted to chat with Hannah about how things were going.

Famous for her jaw-droppingly risqué cabaret performances, she’s an artist who’s difficult to ignore, and I can’t help but love her unapologetic attitude. When she answers my Skype call one summer’s morning, she’s reclining delicately in her room having just returned from an all-nighter. Apart from a slightly croaky voice, Hannah is on sparkling form as ever and I start asking away, aware that she’s secretly dying to pass out on her bed.

I take her back to the beginning: where her music-writing days began. Like most of us, Hannah came across music-editing software from an early age and started messing about with tracks: chopping, changing and creating loops.  Unlike most of us, she became a lyric-writing factory and learned how to play the guitar beautifully. By thirteen she was doing her own gigs around London.

Since then, she’s come a long way and performs both as a single artist and as the lead singer for her London-based band, The Quim Smashers. They’re a three-piece band and play in a genre which Hannah describes as “punk burlesque”. I blink at her and she then elaborates: “We sing in revealing clothing which is oddly subversive. For example, Stella, the bassist, has a pair on knickers which she sowed a load of fake pubes and wears them on stage. It’s all a bit disgusting, but always challenging the male gaze.”

In her own performances as a single artist, Hannah is well-known for her subversive presence. However, she explains to me that her solo work is less about the anger and the politics, and more about expressing her own feelings, and the words which go around and around inside her head. More than anything singing is cathartic for her, a way to access experiences which have made her fragile: “The more I sing about them, the stronger I become.” On that, I ask her about her single, My Love is Not a Currency. It’s a song which she wrote when she was 17, for which she has recently released a music video, and which I know to be about a particular experience in her life. Unwilling to retell the story in my own words, this is what Hannah says to me:

“When I was 17 I was invited to a test shoot by a mysterious photographer. He spoke to my father first – dad trusted him, and he’s very protective. So I went to meet this man; he picked me up at a tube station and drove me to a private boat docking station where we got on his boat. The first thing he said to me was: ‘take your clothes off’. It felt like I was in a movie because you hear all these stories about girls being taken off to secluded locations and told to strip, but it’s not the sort of thing that happens to you. But it didn’t seem weird at that point: he said ‘I need to measure you, just take your clothes off’.

“So I took my clothes off and he measured me, but he was sort of pulling at my arms, claiming he was looking for self-harm scars. It was all very man-handly, and it just got worse and worse. I went into this weird dissociative state and I didn’t know what was happening. He was making me do these really suggestive poses and wearing really revealing clothing. He told me I would be nothing if I didn’t embrace my sexuality, and that ugly feminists only campaigned against this sort of stuff because they’re not beautiful. And then the icing on the cake was when I was locked in his car on our way back to the station, he told me that if I wanted to work with him, I’d have to have sex with him.

“This man was about 50 years old or something, by the way. When I asked what would happen if I didn’t want to sleep with him, he just said ‘Well, I’m only human, and I’ll find someone else to work with.’ And I was like ‘Well I don’t really want to be a model that badly’. And so I ran away. But it was a scary situation as I was locked in his car, and I felt very vulnerable.

“The song is basically just a middle finger up at him. The line: ‘Sex it up alright, but I won’t be at your beck and call’ is like, ‘You want me to sex it up? Ok, I’ll sex it up, but you won’t touch me. I’m doing this for myself.’ It’s all about personal empowerment, and nothing to do with you. All this is why I’m interested in subverting the male gaze and being sexy on my own terms. If I want to have hairy armpits and wear stupid shoes, that’s what’s sexy for me. It’s not a man’s job to tell me what I shouldn’t wear.”

Hannah’s encounter is unfortunately one which is not unique – talented and dedicated teenagers who are thrown into competitive industries experience this sort of thing very often. I ask Hannah whether she believes that this song has the power to speak to others who have undergone similar experiences, and can inspire them to “put a middle finger up” at those who have harassed them. She considers this for a moment.

“It can, but it doesn’t have to. Perhaps it’s a little bit selfish, but it’s a song I had to write. In the weeks that followed, I was in a turmoil inside. I didn’t really know what had happened. I was confused and blamed myself a lot. And I just had to write that song. I think it’s got quite a catchy hook and so I think at minimum people listening to it will enjoy the sassiness and then if there are people who have been through similar things, they might find it refreshing to be like ‘fuck you’ rather than to be submissive. It might empower people a bit and make them feel more like they have the right to say what they do with their bodies.”

Those who know Hannah will be aware via her frequent Facebook profile picture updates that she’s involved elsewhere on the University scene; it seems as if every week she’s either acting in a new play, directing one, modelling, or making films. It must be that all of these activities complement one another, or act as different ways of expressing the same thing?

“Not really. Acting is just completely immersive for me. My actual Hannah brain is completely empty, and it’s great. I love the creative control of directing, and collaborating with people. It’s very exciting. But music is the one I want the most.”

Fair enough. So, between juggling her degree, her acting, her social life and her sleep, has Hannah had a chance to think about what the future looks like for her music? You bet. Up next is a new album release entitled Not your little girl – a series of songs which focus on toxic relationships, and the empowerment of not letting anyone else make you feel “shitty” about yourself. She’s still working on it though, so stay tuned. As the yawns become more frequent and her ability to hold her phone in front of her face diminished, I steer the call to its close, and ask whether she has any parting words.

“Music is an incredibly therapeutic thing and I highly recommend it. Any young woman who’s feeling pissed off and pent-up, find a guitar somewhere and screech your fucking lungs out.”

The Oxford Imps at the Fringe review: ‘High energy and entertaining’

Izzy Smith
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The Oxford Imps at the Fringe review: ‘High energy and entertaining’

The Oxford Imps’ Edinburgh Fringe show is consistently high energy and entertaining. Each of the performers brings something different and uniquely hilarious to the group, and yet what is most impressive is how they play off each other and work together seamlessly. All are incredibly versatile and quick-thinking, responding to audience suggestions with creativity and flair. I was particularly impressed by Sophie Ward’s versatility, uproariously funny as everything from a sexually frustrated Egyptologist to a romantic cow – or even just in reacting to her fellow Imps’ comedy.

The hour, which raced by far too quickly, is organised into several short ‘games.’ The audience is asked to provide a few prompts, which are then used imaginatively in the group’s improvisations. In the performance I saw, games ranged from a dialogue (in this case between the two amorous Egyptologists), during which the pair had to slip into rap when the music kicked in, to spontaneous quips reminiscent of  Mock the Week’s ‘scenes we’d like to see.’

Perhaps my favourite was a game in which the Imps asked for a relationship and a few genres from the audience, and ended up enacting the interactions between a surfer and their board in the style of Film Noir, cabaret, romantic comedy and mime. This game particularly demonstrated the Imps’ impressive capacity to be slick and witty, even while utterly silly.

The final section of the show involved a complete, albeit ridiculous, improvised musical. Given only the location of a farm and the title, ‘Bucket,’ the Imps and their guest Katy Schutte gave a rib-splitting and impressively harmonious performance. They improvised genuinely catchy, though crazy, songs about farming, moving to the country from the big city, and the dangers of falling in love with a cow. Even as events became increasingly nutty, the humour was tight and well crafted, and the singing was genuinely wonderful to listen to.

Watch the Oxford Imps at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for an hour of lighthearted and hilarious comedy, which you won’t want to end.

The Paris Climate Accord is now little more than scrap paper

Daniel Villar
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The Paris Climate Accord is now little more than scrap paper

When faced with the hustle and bustle of daily political life, it’s easy to forget that human civilisation is in a continued state of jeopardy. Brexit, Trump, Isis, and every other human geopolitical issue all pale in comparison to the continued threat of climate change. Yet despite the known severity of the issues at hand, it took until 2015 for there to be an international consensus where countries agreed to combat global warming. The Paris Climate Accord was lauded as a brave step forward in collectively tackling the issue of global warming. It gave every target a precise goal as to the level of refutation in greenhouse gas emissions were required, and managed to pass the objections of major polluters like China and the US.

Yet a mere two years after its original ratification, it’s now little more than scrap paper. Most obviously, the US has adopted a decidedly archaic approach to science. The Trump administration, spurred on by mercantilist misunderstanding of global economics, myopic nationalism, and flat out denial of science, has decided to pull out of the climate agreement. Trump has said that he did so in protecting America’s best interest, because he was elected by “Pittsburgh, not Paris” – a statement the progressive Pennsylvania city resents, and which will seem much less America–focused once the swing state of Florida becomes a shallow sea.

It would be sufficiently worrying if the only threat to the Paris Accord was the United States’ potential withdrawal, but it is in fact the hypocrisy of the rest of the world which poses the greatest danger. Despite world leaders at the recent G20 summit reiterating their commitment to the Paris Agreement, and the worldwide scolding of Trump for his recklessness, nearly every nation is failing to honour the promises they voluntarily adopted.

Of all the signatories of the Paris Agreement, a mere five percent have actually taken steps to realistically reduce emissions to the levels they have committed themselves to. The rest are either like the UK – where political cowardice is leading governments to do the absolute minimum possible, or like India – where emissions have actually risen as a direct result of government policy. Nearly every country has treated the Paris Agreement with the same level of disrespect as Trump has; the sole difference being that the rest are hypocritical.

All of the aforementioned problems with the Paris Agreement become yet more ridiculous when one considers the pathetically low level of commitment that it required from its signatories. Despite being heralded as a bold piece of environmental legislation, it was incredibly weak, and left emissions so high that even if they were met, global warming wouldn’t have been averted.

Part of this can be attributed to the pernicious existence of independent nations, jealous of their sovereignty, who are unwilling to surrender it even when humanity is faced with an existential threat. This stubborn defence of national sovereignty meant that every nation put national interest over human interest, dragging out negotiations for the agreement beyond the point to which global warming could be averted. This attitude has also prevented an enforcement mechanism on nations to be established, and meant that industrialised nations lobbied high emission levels compared to those recommended by independent scientific studies.

The Paris Climate Accord was made with good intentions, but now appears to be little more than a series empty promises. Humans have been polluting the atmosphere for so long that it would appear we have reached a point of no return. I am not a natural pessimist, but it appears evident that in place of collective progress, we have allowed collective failure in the fight against climate change. Our descendants will damn us for the consequences.

 

Oxford’s ethnic minority graduates have higher starting salaries, new study finds

Mia Millman
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Oxford’s ethnic minority graduates have higher starting salaries, new study finds

Ethnic minorities graduating from Oxford University have higher starting salaries than white Oxford graduates, a study has found.

Research by the University’s Career Service, analysed nearly 3000 graduates and suggested that social background did not impact career prospects after graduating from Oxford.

The average starting salary for ethnic minority graduates was found to be £26,000, compared to £19,200 for white graduates.

However, it was implied that this was partly because of the industries chosen. Both the highest-paid sector, banking and investment, and the fourth highest-paid sector, health and social care, attracted a higher proportion of ethnic-minority students. Of those entering banking and investment, it was also found that they were much more likely to have studied science.

Looking at data from the government’s ‘2014-15 Destinations of Leavers’ survey, the study found no significant difference in employment rates or starting salaries between students depending on financial or educational background.

It also found no difference in these areas between private school and state school students. The findings also suggested that subject choice did not restrict career options.

This study largely contradicts previous research by the Social Mobility Commission which had suggested that there was discrimination in several industries against graduates from low-income backgrounds.

Jonathan Black, director of the Careers Service and leader of the research group, said: “This research should provide reassurance not only that social background has no bearing on an Oxford student’s career prospects, but that course choice is also unlikely to limit a student’s options.”

‘Peer Gynt’ at the Fringe review – “a masterfully crafted production”

Ela Portnoy
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‘Peer Gynt’ at the Fringe review – “a masterfully crafted production”

Set in a timeless world of trolls, princesses and flying deer, Peer Gynt tells the story of a young man’s adventure after he leaves home for the first time. Gruffdog Theatre’s adaptation of Ibsen’s classic uses physical theatre, music and puppetry with a minimalistic set to relate a tale of fantasy and intrigue.

I can’t fault the show’s execution because at its core it was a masterpiece. Gruffdog Theatre’s creativity in devising is unbelievable. Their ability to make  a cosy room out of people holding up towels and clocks around wooden beams, or a shipwreck out of lighting, beams, and movement, was simply stunning. Different media were used with skill and perfect coordination, and the actors were breath-taking to watch. The physical theatre was especially good. The ensemble worked together in extremely varied ways, and the execution was slick and professional. In general, the physicality injected the piece with an electric energy. This company’s magic lies in the creativity with which they use a mix of puppetry, music, movement, and props to craft a fantastic whole.

My only disappointment, despite the flawless execution, was that the play was pitched at a very safe level.

While the technical side of the play was undeniably incredible, the effect could have been enhanced on a greater scale. The storyline was also quite hard to follow in places, and leaving the theatre, I was annoyed at myself that I hadn’t been able to understand the point of the plot – I kept trying to piece together the strands and couldn’t make a thread.

Still, I can’t deny that Peer Gynt is an original piece of utter genius. I look forward immensely to seeing what Gruffdog Theatre create in the future. 3 stars.

The Norrington Table serves no meaningful purpose

Daniel Kodsi
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The Norrington Table serves no meaningful purpose

There are two questions that are raised by the annual publication of the Norrington Table. One of these is interesting and important; the other not so much. The uninteresting question concerns how we are supposed to interpret the table’s results each year. The answer is that there are many meanings that we could impute to the Table, and because of this, it’s probably best not to impute any. The more difficult question is what meaning we should ascribe to finals marks, and here it’s at best wrong and at worst stupid to say ‘they don’t matter’ or ‘so long as you do your best’ or any vaguely therapeutic-sounding pleasantry like that. Finals marks do count for quite a bit, both as a measure (albeit, a potentially bad one) of one’s intellectual ability and as a determinant of what options are available immediately after graduation.

But the importance of the second question, unfortunately, leads us to think too hard about the first one, in that it leads us to think about it at all. Since individual finals marks are highly important, there is a natural inclination to think that the aggregate finals marks of one’s college also matter. Rowers care a lot where their college places in Eights – why shouldn’t students care where their college places in finals? There is a rather prurient interest to the whole thing as well: the Norrington Table is about as close as it’s possible to get to seeing under other colleges’ skirts. It’s titillating, in the way that getting a glimpse of any closely guarded secret can be. There are, after all, people behind those marks. When we say Merton would have placed first if a few more finalists had gotten firsts, there are probably a lot of Mertonians who are thinking ‘if I had just gotten a few more marks, I would have gotten a first’.

Yet there is an obvious distinction between Summer Eights and the Norrington Table. With the former, there is usually no mystery as to how exactly the race was won. But there is a very deep, and I suspect to students impenetrable, murkiness around why marks are distributed as they are. Is it significant that the top three colleges all eclipsed the previous record in finals? Should Lincoln be worried that it has plunged to the bottom of the League? How pleased should Pembroke dons be about how high they’ve climbed in the last couple years? Of course these questions have answers, but there’s no way for us to figure out what they are. There are simply too many variables at play: the proportion of students at each college studying subjects with a higher first rate; the stringency of each year’s examiners; the attitude and competitiveness of each year’s student body; the quality of instruction, both in tutorials and exam prep sessions; the astuteness of college interviewers; and so on. Maybe colleges, or the University, have access to information on each of these data points – but students certainly don’t.

In the aftermath of last year’s Norrington Table I asked what it was that the Table really measured, having taken a quick look at the relationships between League performance and different variables, like college age, wealth and popularity. It is probably worth, a year later, admitting to the crime: that kind of analysis is deliberately sensationalist; the factoids might be fun, but they’re largely empty. To the credit of the Oxford student body, I think this is widely recognised. The Norrington Table is a good excuse for a few minutes of inter-college banter, and for the most part nobody treats it as much more. But there is a real problem with according it even that level of attention; it keeps the Table firmly rooted in the University’s consciousness, and to treat it jovially is usually to fail to treat it critically. Because finals matter, how colleges perform at finals also matters. If it is actually the case that some colleges better prepare students for exams than others – and I see no reason why it wouldn’t be – then this is an inequity that needs to be addressed. But the Norrington Table, given how superficial the information it provides, fails to present a valuable insight into the problem.

Let’s talk about chlamydia

Anonymous
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0
Let’s talk about chlamydia

I feel an odd sense of solidarity as I take my seat in the waiting room at 9.31am – a time I have chosen to minimise my chances of encountering my peers. One girl is reading Cosmo. A guy is writing out some fractions. A middle-aged business woman is calmly perusing a leaflet on genital warts. I have to say – I thought that rampant moral degeneracy would be more visible on a trip to the clinic.

My name is called and I follow the nurse into a side room, where we make small talk about the H&M sale while she runs a blood test to check whether I have HIV. Then the inevitable question comes. Why am I here? And, in spite of all the support and acceptance I have encountered, the inevitable feeling of shame begins rising again.

I explain the story as briefly as possible – an ex-boyfriend has tested positive for chlamydia, and has told me in no uncertain terms that I must have given it to him, thus here I am. The nurse shrugs, pulls out a swab test, and directs me to the toilet, which also doubles as a baby changing room, so I spend a good ten minutes attempting to penetrate myself with a giant cotton bud while trying not to think about how this is defiling the nappy changing area.

“I think you’re unlikely to have it,” the nurse says. “You haven’t seen this guy since Christmas.” She asks how many sexual partners I have had while at Oxford. The answer is apparently enough to pre-empt a diagnosis, and I am given antibiotics immediately. I leave the clinic an hour later with a box of pills and an overwhelming sense of inexplicable shame.

The funny thing about chlamydia is that, as STIs go, it really isn’t that bad. It has no long-term health consequences (unless undiagnosed for years, in which case it can cause pelvic inflammation or infertility in women), and can be easily treated with a week of antibiotics. To be frank, I have had colds more annoying than chlamydia. And yet, the very mention of the word is enough to inspire terror – one need only look at the prevalence of STI-themed ‘confessions’ from trolls on Oxfess to see how much we as a student body fear infection. In a study by the University of Michigan, two sample groups were confronted by hypothetical scenarios, in which their partner had given them either chlamydia or a potentially fatal flu which could be sexually transmitted. Even though chlamydia is easily treatable and the flu was potentially fatal, the scenario with the chlamydia was considered to be far worse. Reading studies like this as I desperately Googled my situation, I couldn’t help but wonder whether such a response was symptomatic of a naïve ignorance of the realities of infection, or indicative of a darker channel of moral judgement and leftover sexual conservatism.

Sexual morality at Oxford is, in my opinion, fairly progressive. In around eight months of having casual sex, I have been called a hoe approximately once, and been praised as a feminist approximately ten times. At no point in my first two terms did I ever doubt what I was doing, but after getting off the phone to my ex, who came out with such gems as: “I don’t want to slut shame you, but…” and “I just hope you didn’t give me this deliberately,” I began to reassess my lifestyle –what had been a standard way to end Thursday Bridge became something I associated with shame and guilt. This was my fault. I was a slut. My ex was right: the hatred I would presumably incur was deserved and inevitable.

It is worth saying that I am by no means alone in experiencing feelings of worthlessness in the immediate aftermath of the diagnosis of a suspected STI – incidences of depression following this are well-charted.

Fortunately, my friends did not see things this way, and found the entire debacle hilarious. My Facebook nickname was changed to ‘chlamydiaaaaa’, an STI-themed Spotify playlist was created, and a cocktail was devised (Squash-Tequila-Ice). While their reaction was definitely comforting, and gave me some excellent inspiration for my linguistics coursework (which I ended up writing on the NHS webpage for chlamydia), the underlying feeling of worthlessness that that conversation with my ex had inspired didn’t fade.

My next task was to compile a list of everyone who would have to be informed if the diagnosis came back positive. Partner notification is morally complex – you are legally obliged to inform partners only from the past 3 months, but we decided that I should inform everyone on the list, even though, as one friend put it: “you’re going to have a lot of people to avoid in Park End.” The debate as to how best to notify ex-partners is very contentious. Most online sources tell you that a face-to-face conversation is the only acceptable way, but it seems excessive to arrange to meet someone for coffee, when the coffee might be longer and more engaged than the original encounter. “Make a group chat,” one friend suggested. “Pidge them urine tests,” suggested another. Eventually we colour-coded those who should be told in person, and those for whom a polite Facebook message would have to suffice.

And still, although the experience had produced some excellent sconces, I couldn’t help but feel contaminated. As I looked at the list of names, I imagined how each of them would remember me – not as the girl whose room had been really messy, but as the girl with chlamydia who had ruined their first year at Oxford. I basically felt worthless and tainted.

Although I hadn’t received my diagnosis yet, we decided that the ex-partners with whom I was still friends might as well be informed immediately. Logically, the process of notification is just protocol, but as the time got closer I was so ill with nerves that I could only keep down soup. “I’m really sorry,” I babbled, expecting anger and hatred, “but I have to tell you something.” And so I rambled on about statistics and the effectiveness of condoms, close to tears. I will always be grateful to the guy who gave me a hug and told me it was fine, that it was not my fault, and that we should just wait and see what the results came back with.

The truth is, he was right. The risk of contracting an STI is something you have to factor in when you have casual sex, and since more than half of us will have an STI before we are 25, at least one person reading this will have undiagnosed chlamydia and be none the wiser. The best thing you can do is to use condoms, get tested regularly, screw the haters, and remember that chlamydia is easily treatable. In my experience at least, the stigma surrounding chlamydia is far worse than the reality of the condition.

I do not blame my ex at all for his initial reaction. He was understandably scared by his own diagnosis, and, although his comments were unacceptable, blaming the person you think has infected you is a fairly common reaction, and one that is symptomatic of the fear and ignorance which surround STIs. I know this article won’t do much to combat the stigma, but I do hope that you can take away some basic life lessons – if nothing greater than the fact that if you’re mature enough to engage in casual sex, you’re also mature enough to face the consequences. And finally, to any of the men on that list, I am sorry if reading this article has been an emotional rollercoaster for you. I should probably end the suspense by letting you all know the news – my results came back clean.

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