Monday 27th April 2026
Blog Page 848

Night Out: Drunk on funk at Cellar

Priya Vempali
-
0
Night Out: Drunk on funk at Cellar

ACS, The Isis and Cellar – what more could an Oxford student want to liven up their dismal third week of Hilary?

Having started early at the college bar, my friends and I were already anticipating a good night. We were a few shots down, and the sheer volume of people around us was a clear sign that the evening was going to be a good one.

Unfortunately, we soon realised that half of the drunken crowd populating the JCR were ditching us in favour of the illustrious Park End, because apparently the Oxford clubbing scene favours synthesised pop hits from the noughties to a night of funk and hip-hop. Go figure.

Regardless, we made our way to the club early, despite having already bought tickets, because we knew that the queue would be monumental, and weren’t really up for spending an hour the cold whilst dressed in appropriately edgy (read: skimpy) clothes.

However, having made our way down to the dingy alleyway just off of Cornmarket, we realised that our attempts had been futile. We’d been beaten to the club by at least thirty other Cellar fanatics, as eager for ‘tha funk’ as we were. We waited patiently for our turn, revelling in the body heat of random strangers pressed against us with their scratchy clothes, and definitely did not get shitty with the bouncers who, as I’m sure you know, are the most polite and courteous gentlemen in all of Oxford. Once we got in, however, it was well worth the wait. For some reason or another, the crowd was filled with people I knew, and I wandered from group to group experiencing (and recording) some of my friends’ greatest dance moves.

The dingy setting of the club was lit up by the sheer vivacity of the music, and the crowd were enjoy- ing themselves so much that they seemed to have almost forgotten that they were literally dancing in little more than a dirty base- ment with a bar (no hate – I love the claustrophobic vibes as much as the next person). My personal favourite moment of the night was when I was re-entering the club after a stint in the smoking area, and walked past a girl leaving the club while eating a banana.

Since then, I have decided to bring fresh produce with me to every club night, as a means of sustaining my drunken antics with the nourishment of delicious and nutritious snacks. All in all, it was certainly a night to remember.

LGBTQ+ Soc slams red free speech ranking

Matthew Roller
-
2
LGBTQ+ Soc slams red free speech ranking

Oxford’s LGBTQ+ Society has condemned Spiked magazine’s Free Speech University Rankings, after the University received a ‘red’ ranking for a fourth year in a row.

The ‘anti-Stalinist left’ magazine highlighted the University’s inclusion of misgendering in its harassment and bullying procedure as an example of how free speech is restricted at Oxford.

Oxford and Newcastle were named the most “ban-happy” universities in the rankings.

55 per cent of the 115 universities ranked received a ‘red’ rating, which implies an institution has “banned and actively censored ideas on campus”.

The LGBTQ+ Society told Cherwell it would “continue to both encourage the use of the correct pronouns, and to defend our university’s policies on both free speech and on hate speech to ensure an environment that allows all students to succeed.”

“The term ‘free speech’ is frequently misused by the privileged to protect their right to spread hatred,” it said. “The university must uphold a ban on hate speech to abide by national laws.

“If the authors of the piece are referring to the, thankfully false, rumour that the Student Union insisted that all students must use pronouns such as ‘ze’ then they have been misinformed.

“Asking that students use the correct pronouns upon the request of the individual, is an entirely different matter and we fail to see how this is an infringement on free speech.

“Free speech and safe spaces are not mutually exclusive. Using incorrect pronouns is simply incorrect.

“Doing so with malicious intent is of course another issue entirely.”

Spiked also highlighted Oxford SU’s banning of pro-life groups and the decision to stop student publication No Offence being handed out at the 2015 freshers’ fair.

The report also included the introduction of mandatory consent classes, Balliol JCR’s banning of the Christian Union from its internal freshers’ fair, and Queen’s JCR banning students from joining secret dining clubs.

Spiked’s deputy editor, Tom Slater, who coordinates the rankings, told Cherwell: “This is the university that produced the likes of Locke and Hobbes. That its students’ union today spends its time investigating ‘bad-taste bops’ is deeply embarrassing.

“[The University’s harassment and bullying policy] stated that ‘deliberately using the wrong name or pronoun in relation to a transgender person’ was an example of harassment, which might lead to disciplinary procedures.

“Compelling someone to say something, even out of politeness, is deeply corrosive to free speech.

“This policy implies that disagreeing with trans identity, or refusing to pay lip service to it, is a disciplinary offence.

“Whatever your stance on the issue, that’s bad news for students’ freedom of speech and freedom of conscience.”

Spiked uses a traffic-light system to assess and rank each university and students’ union based on policies and actions, and takes an average to determine the overall ranking. Both Oxford University and Oxford SU were ranked ‘red’.

The Student Union told Cherwell: “Oxford SU encourages students to use whichever pronouns they so choose.

“We would agree that any suggestion that use of gender-neutral pronouns restricts free speech is quite ridiculous – and only contributes to creating a more welcoming atmosphere.

“In terms of Oxford’s result on Spiked being red, Oxford SU is proud to be working towards a University space, where all students can fully participate.

“We continue to work closely with Liberation campaigns and other student groups.”

Jewish Soc condemns ‘anti-semitic’ Union speaker

Oscar Baker
-
0
Jewish Soc condemns ‘anti-semitic’ Union speaker

The Oxford University Jewish Society (JSoc) has condemned a controversial speaker, accused of anti-semitism.

JSoc said that Yvonne Ridley’s past comments “cause Jewish students to feel targeted and unsafe on campus.”

Ridley, a prominent critic of Israel and former chair of the now defunct Respect Party, has called for “an end to the criticism of those who draw comparisons and parallels between Zionism and Nazism.”

The Oxford Union refused JSoc’s request to rescind her invitation for last night’s debate.
Ridley said that the accusations were “hurtful and unfair” and that “legitimate criticism of Israel” was not anti-semitic.

In a statement on Wednesday, a spokesperson for JSoc said: “Her statements go beyond criticism of Israeli government policy or reasoned debate, instead veering into targeted offensive speech.

“Many of her comments can be reasonably construed as anti-semitic.”

While noting that “free speech is important on campus”, they said the debate format meant that “there was no guarantee of any opportunity to call Ms. Ridley out on her hateful views.”

The JSoc statement continued: “We are thus concerned that, if permitted to speak at the Union, she and her views would be legitimised, and our concerns in turn swept under the carpet.

“The Union should not be hosting those espousing racist views.

“We are thus dismayed that the Union has not rescinded the invitation.”

During Thursday night’s panel event at the Union, a member of JSoc spoke in condemnation of Ridley’s alleged anti-semitism.

Ridley has attracted controversy for her comments on Zionism.

She said in 2009: “the Zionists have tentacles everywhere.”

She has also showed support for Hamas and said in a 2006 Imperial College lecture that “Israel is a vile little state” speaking of its leaders in 2009 as “war criminals”.

Ridley said in 2008 that then Foreign Secretary David Miliband was “a gutless little weasel who lost more than his foreskin when he was circumcised.”

Ms Ridley told Cherwell: “I am both surprised and dismayed at the reaction of the OUJS (sic). I have nothing but huge and profound respect for the great faith of Judaism.

“Legitimate criticism of Israel, including its human rights record and the fact it has ignored and violated more UN Resolutions than any other country in the world today, cannot be regarded as anti-Semitic.

“I find the comments hurtful and unfair. Only recently I have been called both a Zionist and a Nazi; terms which I now try and avoid as they’ve become largely meaningless and are bandied around as general insults.

“I am deeply hooured to be speaking in Oxford on Thursday and while I recognise the right of this group to free speech including criticism of me, it would be more helpful if they based their criticism on facts and stop reading hateful blogs which only serve to try and divide instead of unite.

“I wish this vicious witch hunt would stop. I am sorry if they have been targeted and feel unsafe on campus; everyone has a right to express their views… even me.”

The Chaplain at the University Jewish Chaplaincy, Rabbi Michael Rosenfeld-Schueler, told Cherwell: “Yvonne Ridley’s well documented statements are inflammatory and encourage hatred and violence.

“Understandably, many Jewish students feel deeply uncomfortable, angry and frustrated that she has been invited.

“An invitiation to a prestigious society like the Oxford Union confers a legitimacy on her views that are so clearly at odds with British and Jewish values.

“We stand with the Jewish society in its statement”.

Richard Swinburne, Emeritus Professor of Philsophy at Oxford, also spoke at the event.

Swinburne told Cherwell: “I had not heard about Ms Ridley’s views and the way in which she expresses them.

“It is very important to uphold the right of universities and their student societies to host controversial speakers, and only in a totally exceptional case would a society be justified in withdrawing an invitation to a speaker in a debate on one subject because of the way she express her views on another subject.

“I’d need to know a lot more about Ms Ridley’s views…before concluding that this is such a ‘totally exceptional case’.

“Needless to say, I do not agree with Ms Ridley’s views; and I think that if she were to express such views in the debate, it would turn students against her and those views.”

Speaking for the opposition against Ms Ridley was David Silverman, President of the American Athiests.

In a statement, the organisation told Cherwell: “Those views must be vigorously condemned and combated at every opportunity.”

JSoc also took issue with the Union’s advertising of Ridley’s appearance, where there was no reference to her past comments.

Ridley’s appearance at the Union comes in the week of the Oxford SU Annual Elections. All three presidential candidates, Hannah Taylor, Joe Inwood and Ellie Dibben, issued a joint statement.

They said: “Yvonne Ridley has clearly abhorrent views and we support JSoc in challenging her invitation to the Oxford Union. Anti-Semitism can never be allowed to go unchallenged or be legitimised on campus.

“We stand together in opposition to Yvonne Ridley and anything that makes Jewish students feel targeted and unsafe at our university.”

Speakers at the Union debate considered the motion ‘This House Believes We Cannot Thrive Without Religion.’

President of the Union, Laali Vadlamani, said: “The Union does appreciate JSoc’s concerns, and view of some of Ms Ridley’s past comments. It is certainly not the Union’s intent to make Jewish students on campus feel unsafe.

“Her invitation to speak on Thursday’s motion, are not a platform for Ms Ridley to talk about Zionism or the topic of Israel – we do think that her views on these topics are less relevant.

Higher suspension rates for state students revealed

Emily Lawford
-
2
Higher suspension rates for state students revealed

More than twice as many state-educated undergraduates than private schooled students have suspended their studies since 2006, Cherwell can reveal.

Students from the state sector have made up on average 56 per cent of undergraduates since 2006, but 69 per cent of all suspended students, according to a Freedom of Information (FOI) request sent by Cherwell.

The course with the most suspensions has been Oriental studies. Since 2006, 30 per cent of undergraduates in the department have suspended.

Archaeology and Anthropology is the second highest, with a 16 per cent suspension rate, and Physics and Philosophy is third with 14 per cent of students taking a year out – either voluntarily or involuntarily.

Human Sciences, Philosophy and Theology, Law, and Material Science also had high rates of suspensions, which were all over 12 per cent.

The course with lowest number of suspensions was Earth Science, with only one student out of the 349 undergraduates since 2006 having put their education on hold for a year.

Psychology, Philosophy and Linguistics (PPL), Geography, Medicine, History, Computer Science and Maths were the other subjects with low suspension rates, which were all under seven per cent.

Over 2200 undergraduates from the public sector and 1010 undergraduates from the private sector suspended their course since 2006.

Kir West-Hunter, St Anne’s equality representative, told Cherwell: “Let’s be honest – Oxford at times seems like a continuation of private school. The buildings effectively look the same, if you were a boarding student you’ve already experienced time away from home and the type of education a private school student received has, more often than not, prepared them for a degree at Oxbridge.”

Oluwatobi Olaitan, equalities officer for Exeter College, told Cherwell: “This statistic highlights once again the disparities in our society with respects to how our education system simply doesn’t provide equal opportunities to those from socioeconomically disadvantaged backgrounds in comparison to their counterparts.

“More work has to be done in terms of providing emotional and financial support to level the playing fields and to allow all to achieve their true potentials.”

The Equal Opportunities rep. at Hertford, Grace Davis, said: “The disproportionate number of state school students rusticating just goes to show how much of an impact schooling backgrounds can have on the difficulty of adjusting to life at Oxford.”

A spokesperson for Oxford SU told Cherwell: “We believe that access does not stop at the admissions process, and that the collegiate University needs to work harder to improve support for applicants from disadvantaged backgrounds and underrepresented groups while they are here.”

One Oriental studies first year student suggested that the difficulty of the course could be a factor in its very high number of suspensions: “It’s definitely a very high intensity course with many contact hours, because a lot of time is spent on language and learning, the time we have alone to finish essays like other students is much less.”

She added: “I would maybe wonder that those who have rusticated under Oriental Studies may have struggled with the breadth of the course?

“We are often having to finish many different types of tasks at once – and so you’re not just focusing on one job after the other.”

Undergraduates studying Archaeology and Anthropology and Physics and Philosophy said
the dual nature of the courses could have influenced students to suspend their studies.

A second-year arch and anth student told Cherwell: ”I think the course is notably disorganised.

“Unlike other courses that have all of their lectures filmed or at least the lecture slides online, in this course it’s at the lecturer’s discretion whether or not they want it up, so it’s incredibly easy to fall behind and feel like you can’t really get it back – and lectures are compulsory and you need the material for finals.

“The two departments also don’t really communicate that well and there’s very little support in general.”

A second-year student who switched in their first year from PhysPhil to Music told Cherwell last term: “One of the major things was that I found that not all, but a lot of my tutors were not supportive and made me feel really stupid.

“One of my tutors told me to ‘treat problem sheets as if it was a life or death situation’.

A University spokesperson told Cherwell: “This data really can’t be interpreted meaningfully in an aggregated form, at this scale. Every case is different, so Cherwell can’t really draw any useful conclusions.

“The range of reasons for suspension of study is extremely broad. Suspension can relate to academic progress, financial circumstances, personal health, developments within families, and proposals to break study for countless other situations.

“In all cases undergraduates at Oxford will have been be in very close liaison with their college and will have enjoyed high levels of support.

“Since we have significantly more students from non-fee-paying schools the different figures are to be expected.

“It should also be noted these numbers do not relate solely to ‘disciplinary’ cases, which are unusual and infrequent. Most of the cases captured in these numbers will have been voluntary, and mutually agreed, rather than disciplinary.”

Booze cruise: Corpus Christi Beer Cellar

George Taylor and Caleb Barron
-
0
Booze cruise: Corpus Christi Beer Cellar

Located under the grounds of the prestigious college, down a gloomy staircase, is the humble Corpus Christi Beer Cellar. With its low ceilings, well-stocked bar and lively regulars, the space feels like it has ancestry in prohibition America. From its comfortable purple booths situated in spacious alcoves perfect for social drinking to its iconic IKEA red stools in the welcoming bar area to its copious shelving to place a pint on whilst you throw a dart or pocket a pool ball, there are many ways to enjoy a drink in this fabled establishment. So let’s talk about those drinks.

The Pelican! Named after our college mascot, the majestic fish-eating bird is concocted from a shot of vodka, another of Bacardi rum, half a Hooch, Blue Curacao and a dash of grenadine. Traditionally served in a plastic pint cup, this drink comes to you in a vibrant blue-red blend which quickly becomes a disturbingly grey haze. In fact, it tastes as grey as it becomes, a worryingly unnatural colour. At £5 it is perfectly serviceable for pres, potentially too sweet but does incredible work as a mid-bop pick me up. A huge shout-out goes to the Classics fellow at Corpus who invented it during his undergraduate years here.

The Tortoise is much the same, but green. Produced with a dash of lime, 2 shots of vodka, Midori melon liqueur, topped up with lemonade and a dash of Aftershock, the greenish colour reminds one of the urine of a man that hasn’t had water for a week. The avor would best be described as indistinct apple – it tastes like a slushy that’s been left out in the sun. It’s safe to say, neither of these drinks is winning any awards for avour but the high alcohol content and verve with which they’re served makes them well worth the money you pay for them.

This brings us on to the main event: Lance the barman. Lance hails all the way from South Africa and he comes with the same accent, charm and hospitality. He truly is the highlight of any evening spent in the Beer Cellar. With a decent sound system, the background noise of profanity as another pot is missed in pool can be drowned out by the indie tunes curated by local DJ talent, Tom Hopper. In conclusion, the cheapest pints available are £2.10 each: what more could you ask for?

@caleblebster

A healthy pick and mix

Helen Leung
-
0
A healthy pick and mix

Don’t your colleges provide meals for you anyway? It is the insufferable question, constantly posed towards me and, more than likely, other Oxford students. But when you’re having a busy week with a crammed schedule, and you constantly miss the lunch window, a grab-and-go meal is the perfect option. This is especially true if you’re a scientist and have only a quick and in exible break to grab lunch before powering through an afternoon of labs.

My solution would be to spend some time preparing large quantities of different foods, then assembling a ‘pick and mix’ in the morning or even on a Sunday evening. Healthy options and fast food aren’t normally associated, but the combination is by no means unobtainable.

For example, cook a whole pot of quinoa and box it up in Tupperware. Then, chop up two heads of lettuce, a pack of tomatoes, spinach, one cucumber and two bell peppers. Store this salad in this in a separate box of Tupperware. Then, make your protein. This can be some beans or meat. Try marinating some chopped up chicken breasts in a dressing of your choice, and keep it in a zip-locked bag overnight or for one hour in the fridge. Pan fry this, and put it in a third Tupperware box. With all these options, in the morning it is then easy to assemble the meal you fancy that day. Usually I pack a salad at lunch, and will heat up chicken with a carb or grain that I make that evening. If I get hungry between meals, I buy a pot of humous, and eat it with leftover peppers or cucumber from my salad, reducing food waste.

The range of options available with this strategy means that you don’t have to eat the same meal that you whipped up on Sunday night every day of that week, and you can still be healthy. Prepping in advance also turns out to be a lot cheaper and, of course, less time-consuming than cooking a new meal each day; perfect for anyone trying to keep to their New Year’s resolutions and juggling essay deadlines!

A well-stocked student pantry

Anna Lewis
-
0
A well-stocked student pantry

John Waters once said not to sleep with anyone who doesn’t own books. I have a similar adage concerning balsamic vinegar. There’s something revelatory about the snapshot of a strangers’ tastes given by the pantry-staple pantheon.

I’m not above judging other people for their choices. Mixed herbs? I’m not at a point in my culinary journey where thyme is all that different to rosemary, but I have the good grace not to flaunt my ignorance so brazenly. Siracha will always win my admiration, with its vibrant colour and promise to zhoosh up any meal, while the use of malt vinegar for anything but cleaning lets me know where I’m not welcome.

On my list of essentials, there’s paprika, because the smoky flavour reminds me of chorizo-filled family holidays to Spain. Soy sauce, because it’s a takeaway in a bottle, making fried rice and peas feel kingly. Chilli flakes, because I’m not a coward.

The dream, hazy and yet unrealised, is to scan an Ottolenghi and realise I already have everything I need. Like a neatly made bed or a Solo account with no pending returns, a well-stocked pantry goes a long way towards a general sense of wellbeing.

Perhaps this is unrealistic when shelf space is as scarce as fixed-rent property in London. In student kitchens, everything must have a purpose. A bag of dessicated coconut left over from a new dal recipe needs to find another life, because it’s taking up space usually reserved for pasta. So it goes into the cabbage I’m frying, with ginger and lime juice, and I’m not disappointed. Perhaps there’s a bright side to this nomadic lifestyle, where the rush to use everything up before the end of term spurs on the most creative dishes.

In lieu of a freezer or even much fridge room, the pantry comprises a backbone from which miracles can be wrought. Baked beans are ripe for experimentation, infinitely more interesting spiked with crushed garlic, barbeque sauce and a handful of kale. Tinned soup can be bulked out with chickpeas and chopped tomatoes, with a few herbs or spices chucked in to up the flavour.

And couscous! I could write an ode to couscous. It’ll forgive any strange assortment of vegetables, especially when dressed with salt, olive oil and vinegar. It asks no special treatment and takes up no more space than it needs – it just sits there, ready to fluff into life within ten minutes of putting the kettle on. This is the best kind of cooking: exploratory, gentle on mistakes, and endlessly adaptable.

Lacrosse Blues miss out on league title to Cambridge

Alexandra Drewe
-
0
Lacrosse Blues miss out on league title to Cambridge

On 24 January, exactly one month before the Varsity showdown, Oxford faced off against Cambridge in the Southern Premiership Lacrosse League. Both teams went into it undefeated in the Bucs competition to date, with the last meeting between the two sides finishing as a draw.

Although acting as a warm up for Varsity, this match was crucial; the victorious team would win the Southern Premiership title. The excellent form from both sides meant the top two positions in the table were securely theirs, with this game deciding top spot.

It was Cambridge who had the better start to the first half, scoring two well worked goals in quick succession. Yet some excellent Oxford defending coupled with quick smooth transitions up the field, resulted in goals for the dark Blues.  Possession was shared fairly evenly between teams, and as ever the scores remained close: 2-3, 2-4, 3-4. Oxford went into at half time trailing by just one goal, but after a close first period victory was very much still up for grabs.

Straight from the half-time whistle, it was Charlotte Hoskin who once again secured possession for the dark Blues off the draw. Indeed, her performance was so impressive that she secured MVP after the game.

In sports like football both opposition alternate who takes possession from the centre, however in lacrosse the draw decides possession. The centres from each team align their stick heads with the ball trapped between the two. On the whistle both try to propel the ball towards a teammate. Winning the draw is therefore a test of strength and speed.

Oxford quickly carried the ball over the restrainer into the defence. The restrainer is a pitch marking that each team must keep five members (including the goalkeeper) behind at all times to avoid violating the offside rule. Since no fast break was on, the dark Blue attack progressed into a slow break.

Where there is no man up situation for the offensive team, the play moves into settled attack with even numbers defending and attacking: the slow break. From this position Oxford looked set to move in on goal, and some quick passing and cutting through the fan (area in front of goal) created space for a drive and shot.

However, a decent save from the Cambridge keeper generated another chance for the light Blues. The game continued like this throughout the duration of the second half; the ball transitioning quickly back and forth with the scores remaining within one or two goals.  With 15 minutes remaining, Alexandra Drewe was given a yellow card for dangerous shooting.

During this two minute man down period, Cambridge had the first possession and looked set to move in on goal, but some amazing defending from Oxford ensured a crucial turnover, meaning that Cambridge failed to capitalise on their numerical advantage.

With five minutes on the clock, Oxford scored. Now only one goal down, and with the momentum swinging in Oxford’s favour, Cambridge, evidently feeling the pressure, called a time out. Tactically, this decision paid off; with only a few minutes left on the clock, Oxford went into full pressure backer defence, in hope that this risk would result with a turnover.

Yet it was Cambridge who scored  several times in the dying minutes, and thus they were victorious at the full time whistle.

Nevertheless it was a great game to watch, and gave both teams things to consider before the Varsity Match on 24 February.

Vengeance, violence, and why I lost faith in Game of Thrones

-
1
Vengeance, violence, and why I lost faith in Game of Thrones

The last three seasons of Game of Thrones have been awful. Don’t even try to deny it.

Its first few seasons were tightly plotted and well-written. With Season Five, however, its quality went into freefall, hurtling passed mediocrity into the depths of outright badness. While the staggering production values, incredible score and wonderful actors haven’t gone anywhere, the show has betrayed the themes of the books on which it is based and, in so utterly misrepresenting them, has become deeply unpleasant to watch.

Its use of violence provides the clearest example of this incomprehension: in its earlier seasons, massacres and killings, whilst common, were integrated seamlessly into the wider storytelling; they were a means, not an end. However, it often seems that the creators have attributed the programme’s success to its willingness to shock and horrify. And so, a once-thoughtful programme has now descended into an ever-escalating sequence of spectacularly insubstantial set-pieces, an extravaganza of gore without meaning, sound and fury signifying nothing. It’s a bloodthirsty game of one-upmanship, with each murderous twist trying to outdo the last, storytelling be damned.

The aftermath of the Season Six finale is emblematic of this subordination of storytelling to pretty pyrotechnics: when the leadership of the Faith Militant, a movement buoyed by an outpouring of popular resentment for the ruling elite, are massacred, you might expect some long-term repercussions or a period of uncertainty about the new balance of power. In Game of Thrones, however, they are important only as a vehicle for violence, an expedient to get some pretty fireworks on the screen. They are destroyed and forgotten, the show striding over their bodies as if they were nothing, hurrying on to the next big thing.

This casual deployment of violence stunts the growth of key characters and undermines the moral framework by which we’re encouraged to understand the world. When Arya kills people in the books, it’s meant to be profoundly disturbing. She’s a child, traumatised by the brutality that has deprived her of a family and a childhood. The show, however, frames her vengeance against the Freys as a moment of triumph and justice.

It’s precisely this simplistic view of vengeance and violence that the books try to problematise. The epilogue of A Storm of Swords, for instance, grants readers the vengeance for which they have been longing while subverting their expectations. When Lady Stoneheart begins executing Freys for their part in the Red Wedding, Martin presents her as cruel, as pitiless, as wrong. As a reader, your vengeful wishes are fulfilled, but they turn to ash in your mouth. The show, which contorts its storytelling in order to be as shocking as possible, could never hope to achieve such a potent subversion of its fans’ expectations.

This unthinking recourse to violence means that human life becomes expendable, each character just another hunk of meat to be chucked onto the flames of spectacle. No act of violence is part of some wider thematic argument and, therefore, no act of violence really matters. It’s just there. Killing. Death. Bloodshed. All because it’s kind of fun to look at, I guess.

Watching Game of Thrones now is an utterly disheartening experience: untethered from thematic coherence, detached from consistent narrative logic, it’s impossible to appreciate it as anything more than a pretty show with a big budget. It’s glib and mean-spirited, using death and violence to cauterise plotlines in which it has lost interest, never reflecting on quite what it’s saying about the acts it depicts.

I guess I’ll just keep waiting for The Winds of Winter. It’ll be out any day now, I’m sure.

Downsizing review – ‘leaving the audience more bored than scintillated’

Jonnie Barrow
-
4
Downsizing review – ‘leaving the audience more bored than scintillated’

Last night, I was flicking through Netflix and I wound up watching an indie noir film from 1996 called Hard Eight. I liked it very much, and one of its qualities that really struck me was how it’s able to make its central character enigmatic, yet interesting and watchable. This struck me because, after seeing Downsizing, it was nice to be reminded that it’s possible to centre a story around a character who is interesting enough to sustain a film’s runtime.

But I’m getting ahead of myself; the premise for Downsizing is really worth sketching out before we go any further, because it is a doozy. In a nebulous future, scientists have decided to combat global warming/overpopulation by creating a way to shrink people down to a few inches tall – a process which is especially appealing to the middle classes because, when you’re small, your money goes much further, and you can live like millionaires without ever working another day in your life.

That’s already an extremely fruitful premise for a satire on middle-class greed, the selfish side of human nature, a class warfare within a national economy and the folly of human responses to climate change, and we haven’t even gotten to the characters yet: and therein, oddly, lies the problem.

Matt Damon plays…Matt Damon. I wish I could tell you anything about his character apart from the fact that he’s an occupational therapist – a detail I would ordinarily forget, but it’s literally all we’re told about his character. Like his last film, Suburbicon, it feels as if the director decided that casting Matt Damon would be a serviceable substitute for creating a lead character with motives, goals, an interesting backstory, or any character traits to speak of. It leaves an irredeemable vacuum at the heart of the film that no high-concept sci-fi intrigue can fix, though the filmmakers try their best.

See, the film is 135 minutes, and it simultaneously feels at least 15 minutes too long yet also painfully rushed. Alexander Payne, a director whose previous work I’ve really loved (you owe it to yourself to see The Descendants and Nebraska if you haven’t yet), seems unable to weld the premise to a functioning storyline for most of the runtime. There are a painful number of ’x years later’ title cards which fracture what story there is, while superficially interesting tangents about economic realities, climate change and wryly misleading marketing are treated with the same gravity as character introductions and plot arcs, leaving the audience more bored than scintillated.

All of this serves to damn-near squander the film’s best asset: Hong Chau as Vietnamese dissident-turned-refugee (oh yeah, there’s a tangent about illegal immigration/oppressive governments which is painfully shoehorned in) Ngoc Lan Tran, a character so controversial that she has her own Wikipedia page. She speaks in a broken English dialect which, as well as considerably muddling the film’s tone, many critics found unspeakably offensive. I personally settled into it after a brief adjustment period, but I found the way she was written considerably more irritating. Though a lot of her narrative function is to attempt to provide Matt Damon’s ‘character’ with an arc, she’s often frustratingly well-written in her own right, with her altruistic nature balanced beautifully against her hilariously insistent personality and even her femininity and sexuality towards the end. It’s a star-making turn that sadly missed out on some well-deserved recognition at this year’s Oscars.

The most frustrating thing about Downsizing is that the good elements, like Chau’s performance, or the stellar production design that wonderfully conveys the slightly unsettling yet charming nature of the miniature world, only serve to foreground the flaws in such a scattershot script. It’s a thought-provoking film that’s beautiful to look at, but with such a meandering storyline and thinly-sketched characters, it never comes close to affecting your heart – even in a small way.

1...847848849...2,580Page 848 of 2,580

Support Student Journalism

Cherwell is Oxford’s oldest independent newspaper, established in 1920. We are entirely student-run. By supporting us, you will contribute to keeping our paper in print and online. Every donation makes a difference.

Donate

Explore

Follow us

More

Oxford Student Publications Limited © 2025 - All Rights Reserved | Privacy Policy

Website by Jamie Ashley