Monday 6th October 2025
Blog Page 917

Spotlight: Emily the Snake

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We’ve all been a snake at some point in our lives, or at the least a slow-worm, but few can claim themselves to be a snakey band. Emily the Snake aim to set the record straight, and do so in joyous fashion.

As snakes go, they definitely fall under the rental snake category—in those moments when you’re having a party and you think, I just need a snake, they’re the ones to call.

Formed last year and rising quickly to slots at WadFest and the Bully, Emily the Snake may well be on their way up. The band injects passion into their soul/funk/Abba fusion, and it is intriguing to see what new material will be like when it comes our way. In terms of musicality alone, these guys are one to watch.

Unfortunately, however, Rowan Ferguson (on keys), is a deputy editor of an unnamed rival publication (you can guess which one), and so for any praise we give them we have to make a formal statement that this does not reflect the opinion of our publication.

In the wise words of Super Hans, however, “red next to yella’, cuddly fella”, and as luck would have it, this snake is one to become friendly with.

Life Divided: Cherwell

For (Nicola Dwornik):

Sitting on the expansive lawns of Christ Church Meadow, I crack open a can of San Pellegrino and recline.

I pull out a copy of this week’s Cherwell, perusing my editorial efforts in this week’s issue. Then, upon laughing a bit too heavily at this week’s satire section, I lose concentration as I turn a page. The newsprint slices into my hand and I bleed. But the blood is strangely coloured; it is the same slightly off-red colour of the Cherwell logo. Amid the serene background, I realise I can no longer deny the truth. I am a proud member of Cherwell, and it is a cult that I love.

I knew I was entering something greater than a student newspaper from my very first day. Upon arriving at the building, I was immediately chastised for calling the building an office—“it’s the Choffices, actually”. I soon realised that Cherwell, like a cult, maintains its own codex of grammatical preferences. Innocently named as the ‘Style Guide’, this document is the written belief system that Cherwell is founded upon. Within it, for example, the superiority of the em dash over the en dash is given great attention. After all, the former is the patron saint of Cherwell; there is even a shrine to the em dash in the corner of the ‘Choffice’.

Whilst Cherwell may seem full of pretentious peoples, at least there is a hierarchy that all members gladly conform to. Myself, as an editor of the notorious Life section, am a cult leader. The editors are mere pawns that feed (fake) news to OSPL, and deputies happily supervise the various section editors, subjecting them to hours of learning-through-struggle on the InDesign newspaper design system. It’s like one big happy family.

Like all good cults we have our rivals and renegades. Whilst we may very much express a superiority over other publications we appreciate their existence, as it only makes us a stronger and more cohesive publication. So, let us celebrate Cherwell. Members don’t generally bite and it’s all rather nice really. Besides, crewdates don’t permit blood offerings.

Against (Emma Leech):

The worst thing is that it is impossible to avoid. You scroll innocently through Facebook, and you are accosted by yet another article about Oxford’s pseudo-politics. You stroll innocently down St Aldates only to be barged out of the way by some blazer-wearing mini-Paxman, muttering something about the Choffices. You have to wade your way through thousands of unread papers just to make yourself a cup of tea in the JCR. Cherwell is everywhere and, even more annoyingly, so are its wannabe journalists.

If a gust of wind blows the paper open in the JCR every once in a while, or more likely, one of your token journo friends shoves it in your face because, “no but you simply must read this article I wrote,” then this is what you’ll see. The news section desperately tries to intersperse dull local events with ‘fun’ JCR motions, pretending that seeing “dank memes” in print isn’t vomit-inducing. Comment is like leaving the Union after a debate and having a series of bumbling boys following you down Cornmarket going, “oh and another thing about globalisation…” If you have the stomach to continue, you are faced with culture. Recognise those names? Yeah, they’re the ones whose profile pictures change every thirty seconds to advertise their new play. And, as if that wasn’t enough, they’ve written about it too. If it’s not them, it’s the music writers who are too cool for Cherwell. No really, they even go to Cellar. Investigations remind us, helpfully, each week that Oxford is still living in the eighteenth century. And, honestly, I just commend you if you make it to the back for Sport.

Essentially, Cherwell is a conglomeration of all the worst people in Oxford: the Union hacks, the politicians, the thespians, and everyone else who thinks their opinion is more valid than yours because they have managed to get it down in ink. Thank goodness for the Life section. Once described to me as, “The Tab-iest part of Cherwell,” here you can find solace, at least, in the self-awareness of the editors.

We get it. You hate us.

Food diary: the bagel shops of Beijing

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In my first year at Oxford, every Sunday, I would get up and order a bagel with chives at G&Ds. No matter how hectic things seemed, I would find time to sit in the same spot, take the same messy first bite, and let the usual roar of life at Oxford dim to a gentle hum.

Last year though, I was in Beijing. It took some hunting to find good bagel shops, but they were there. Hidden among silver skyscrapers and shining shopping centres are half a dozen upscale foreign bakeries. Rather than being comfort food though, bagels slowly became laden with guilt.

You are not here to eat bagels, I berated myself, you are here to get to know China. I felt embarrassed to have “caved”, to be craving food many of my Chinese friends had never heard of. Embarrassed, in essence, to be foreign.

I usually loved eating nothing but Chinese food. Many of my happiest memories in China are focused on what I ate, particularly the Beijing street food. There was so much choice: crunchy, soft pancakes from bicycle pulled stalls, steaming sticks of meatballs dipped into sesame sauce and of course, the baozi. Fluffy, stuffed steamed buns costing no more than 20p each, and plopped unceremoniously into a plastic bag, baozi are an integral part of any breakfast on the go in northern China.

And oddly enough, standing in line—well, never quite in a line, but in a hungry huddle—for baozi in the morning made me feel like a part of Beijing. Even though I stuck out there so much more than in a foreign bakery, at the baozi stand I felt “normal”. Trying to fit in made me feel proud. Admitting how much I missed bagels did not.

The best way to get to know a culture is of course to meet with locals and to eat with locals. Eschewing Chinese food—even only rarely—felt like I was missing out on a part of Chinese culture. And even though I knew logically on my year abroad there shouldn’t be anything wrong with eating food from home, it became something I felt I should resist.

In reality though, that’s not how people or cultures work. Cultures are dynamic, not static, and food is one of the clearest examples of this. Chutney, hummus and pasta—to name but a few—are dishes are of course beloved by the British, but not invented by us.

My situation in Beijing was much more privileged than that of many people who migrate, my needs easily catered for. Nonetheless, experiencing how surprisingly intense the need for a taste of home can be gave me a deeper understanding of why people take their cuisine with them, even when it’s hard to do so. I am very grateful to them. Now, when I find myself dreaming of baozi in Oxford, they’re only a ten minute walk away. And that’s wonderful.

 

Occupy Mars with Kyle Grant

Last week, we went to the Oxford University Aeronautical Society event with Kyle Grant. In collaboration with NASA, his project specialises in the design of bacteria and plants that can colonise and survive in Martian and Lunar settings aiming to provide crop plants for the support of astronauts on space missions. We went to find out more.

A disturbing worldview undercut by patchy acting

It takes me a while but about halfway through the play I recognise the pun in the title—contract, contractions, pregnancy—and it makes me chuckle slightly inappropriately. Written by Mike Bartlett for the Royal Court Theatre in 2008, Contractions is part of a tradition of plays that aim to provoke questions and to perturb the audience. The play explores the extent to which a company is entitled to invade the privacy and regulate the personal lives of their employees. Undergoing a process of what I can only term the bureaucratisation of romance the plot unfolds through a series of meetings between the unnamed Manager, played by Cat White, and employee Emma, played by Sophie Stiewe.

Walking into the studio, I was immediately struck by the layout of the space. There is no raised stage and the play unfolds between two banks of seats set up to face each other. It is a fitting set-up for a play about invasion of privacy, and as the audience watch it unfold we are made aware that we are not only watching, but that we are also being watched.

The minimalist staging is reminiscent of Lisa Blair’s 2016 production of Contractions in Sheffield, but sadly this production falls short of the sterile sleekness that Blair’s production achieved. Linden Hogarth’s (the set designer) decision to use a backdrop made out of a cardboard cut-out city-scape detracts from the professional polish achieved in the rest of the set, and White’s costume is, unfortunately, in need of an iron. However, the attention to detail that has evidently gone into matching the blue and black biros on the desk to the blue and black outfit the manager wears is impressive. It is this attention to detail, along with the decision to have White remain on stage between scenes, which adds to the sense that the Manager is so assimilated into the company that she is practically part of its material fabric.

The strong overhead lighting fits with the themes of exposure in the play, and shines not only on the stage but also partly on the audience, heightening the sense that we too are being observed. The production encounters some technical problems halfway through the play, as the dull purple lighting that has, up until this point, been used between scenes fails to turn on, but this difficulty can be attributed to first night hiccups.

The intimate two-person cast means that the roles are highly demanding. I enjoy White’s portrayal of the Manager; she achieves a mechanic sterility in her acting that is fitting to the role. The frank and indifferent way in which White poses increasingly personal questions to Stiewe’s character hovers between funny and disturbing, and at many points throughout the night provokes uncomfortable laughter from the audience. Stiewe’s portrayal of Emma, is, however, a little disappointing. Stiewe’s character has the potential to provide some counter-balance to the sterility of the Manager, and yet I found myself getting frustrated by the repetitive nature of her facial expressions and tone of voice. If this formulaic portrayal of emotion was a conscious choice on the part of Stiewe and director Lisa Friedrich then I think they may have missed an opportunity to imbue the play with a little more tension. The acting is, overall, a little haphazard, with both White and Stiewe stumbling over their lines on a few different occasions. However, this can again be attributed to first night nerves, and didn’t have too much of an impact on the quality of their performances.

Overall, I am left underwhelmed by this play, which has the potential to offer a perturbing and nuanced exploration of the nature of the corporate world. Although the set design and stage layout are promising, the slightly-inconsistent acting and the absence of tension between White and Stiewe mean that for me the play fails to provide the discomfort that a title like Contractions promises. To sum up the experience in a word: ‘flat’.

England Rugby in Oxford

 

This week, England Rugby are training in Oxford ahead of their remaining 6 Nations fixtures. They are the defending champions, and are currently top of the table after their 35-16 win against Italy last weekend. Yesterday, Cherwell Broadcasting went along to their open session at St. Edward’s School to see them in action.

Blind Date: Emma and Nicky

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Emma Leech (Second year, French & Italian, St. Anne’s)

Nicky tried to impress me from the off with talk about her upcoming ‘movement audition’ but her moves on this date left a lot to be desired. We treated ourselves to the local liquor of Balliol bar which proved only slightly more colourful than her language (see: “we need to work, bitch”). Our conversation flowed well, as we did a detailed character assassination of every other Cherwell staff member, proving true the old tale that Cherwell people are, in fact, very boring in conversation. The date was interrupted halfway through by a visit from her friend. I’m a modern girl, but the unsolicited addition of a third person to our date frankly put me on edge. The date was unceremoniously cut short with the proclamation of, “I was hoping you’d be gone by eleven thirty,” and her retrieval of her laptop so she could apply for an internship. And so I was ejected, drunk and alone, onto Broad Street. Lovely.

Out of 10? 3.6

Looks? Increasingly fuzzy with time

Personality? Funnier in print

2nd date? Like a Balliol Blue, this was fun but never again

 

Nicola Dwornik (Second year, AMH, Balliol)

Emma was one of those ‘I’ll drink my cider with a straw’ kind of gals. I suppose I should have expected such animalistic behaviour given that she’d just expressed an overt desire to order a Balliol Blue—something Emma liked to call a ‘cocktail’. Yet, despite wearing edgy sky blue creps, letting a crisp topple from her mouth (only to later eat it from her lap) and spilling her drink twice, Emma definitely surpassed my initial expectations. Her conversational topics proved impressively varied, spanning from bitching about Cherwell staff, to bitching about Cherwell staff some more. But, with time catching up with us, and sparks still flying, I quickly realised I had to make my sentiments known. Living out of college, I expressed a deep regret at the impossibility of showing her a Balliol room. This disappointment was overcome quickly though—with half-price vodka shots.

Out of 10? A solid 5

Looks? Like she should learn table manners

Personality? Funnier than in print

2nd date? Perhaps if her taste in alcohol improves

A bloody nightmare

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Nearly every woman in the country shares the experience of one day, usually in the early teens, pulling down her trousers to find a suspicious brown smear in her underwear. The teenage brain flicks through all the possibilities, ranging from pen (but how?) to poo, until it finally reaches the answer: the first period.

From that fateful day onwards she learns to become a mistress of discretion and picks up tips on how to avert the most embarrassing situations. Yet, there are some moments that one cannot preempt.

A favourite question of Year Nine boys was the classic “Have you started your period?” that was usually hurled at you, without warning, when you were standing in a large group. When your teacher asked you, “Why were you late?”, you couldn’t say “Well, last night I was kept awake from excruciating stomach cramps and I wasn’t actually sure whether I’d be able to move today.” Instead, you mumbled something about oversleeping and hope he bought it. When, at a job interview, you find you can’t respond to the missile question of “Where do you see yourself in five years’ time?” because of the heaving contractions and somersaults in your stomach, it doesn’t take a genius to work out why you may have not got the job.

This brings us to the biggest obstacle: pain. Those who have not experienced it love gloating about a kick in the balls being the unchangeable trophy-holding winner of the Pain Olympics. I bring a worthy competitor.

Two iron fists clamping onto the centre of your stomach, squeezing and twisting, opening and closing, before dragging your insides slowly down. The whole of gravity concentrating itself to your lower-half, drawing your guts to the ground. Persistent and echoey dull aching somewhere between the skin and bones of your back and legs. It’s painful.

It’s not all bad, I admit. Many female friendships are founded on the ‘Period Bonding Conversation’. A classmate or co-worker looks uncomfortable. “You ok?” you ask. They throw you a small smile and whisper the allusive “Stomach cramps.” You respond with hardly-concealed enthusiasm, “I hate that!” Often, other female ears in the vicinity prick up and before you know it five of you are discussing the woes of being women and the injustice of the uterus. Together you express your grievances whilst indulging in the exclusivity of the Period Party, a club in which every woman is a member, bonded by the common experience of our bodies.

But aside from the occasional glow of bonding, periods are a pain. And not being able to discuss them openly can have serious implications and damage opportunities. It’s a tucked away issue that needs to be opened up.

Let’s get the conversation, ahem, flowing.

SLAM: Poetry that isn’t afraid to make an impact

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“Ghetto children never remember how to smile”. It has already been four years since the death of Nelson Mandela. Anger, inequality and corruption in post-Apartheid South Africa have reached new summits. Angry voices, unheard by the media and ignored by the State, are joining forces. The cry for social, economic and racial justice is stronger and more essential every day. South Africa’s recent history is marked with upheavals, repression and conflict, but what is happening right now is more than what will be featured in the history textbooks. As I write this, the black South African underprivileged youth is reshaping not only the history of empowerment movements, but the history of poetry.

Not just written, but performed. This is what defines slam poetry. Accessible on YouTube, these poems are more than just spoken word. They are on-stage cries, thoughts and reflections, set to a beat and a rhythm. Borrowing from various art forms, slam poetry addresses controversial topics such as the inherent racism of culture and literature: syllabuses upholding a white-male-dominated canon, or the aesthetic association of black with evil,

“Little black girl ba re o maswe [they say you are ugly]

well I say, you are beautiful

you are a gift wrapped in brown skin”.

These opening lines from Bafentse Ntlokoa’s ‘Hush’, when performed, are set to a very soft violin which becomes louder and louder as the poem progresses in intensity. Subverting cultural values, reversing poetic paradigms and transcending stylistic boundaries, slam poetry is a flexible, musical form relying on key rules.

Richard ‘Quaz’ Roodt, on the Word N Sound Live Literature Company blog, outlines six guidelines for the aspiring slam poet:

You are a writer first.

Drafting, confronting and working out the appropriate devices to use are a poetic priority, according to Roodt.

Study, don’t imitate.

The slam poet can seek inspiration in others but has to make the final product his own.

Respect your craft and its audience.

The aspiring poet won’t go far if his motivations are purely commercial, to be accepted as cool and trendy. Only poems with true meaning will actually be successful. Audience is the ultimate judge.

Slow Down Bone thugs, slow down.

Reading fast isn’t the way to go.

Get to the point, bro.

Roodt advocates a simplistic, clear, concise style.

Relax and Enjoy yourself.

“If you can’t, we won’t.”

In this respect, Slam poetry is a lot like rap. Emerging from feelings of dismay, injustice and frustration with the way a political system silences voices, cleansing public opinion and producing illusions to skirt around the problem rather than acknowledge it and address it, slam poetry shares its roots with rap. When performed, slam poetry is, again, very similar to rap: dialectal and accentuated, resonating with outcast groups. ‘Hush’, for example, unites English with Setswana, a Bantu language used by 8 per cent of the South African population and part of a vast family of mutually intelligible languages used across Africa:

“Little black girl ba re o montshô [they say you are black]”

Not only does this new poetic form take subject matter to a new level, tackling the nitty gritty core of prejudice and tearing it apart in the hope that society will do the same, it also raises artistic and aesthetic questions about the poetic genre—what is the role of poetry? Should poetry be political?

Tying back with the musical and lyrical origins of poetry by performing it as if it were a song—hence my analogy with rap—it also seeks to present itself as innovative and radically new, independent from previous forms.

Black South African voices were never given the chance to develop a movement: the value of their art, music and creations were wiped away in an age of white supremacy and cultural imposition. Now, in an age where black culture is increasingly appropriated and viewed as ‘cool’ (hip hop and rap being adopted by and providing success for white artists, for instance), slam poetry affirms itself as a distinctly black, South African type of poetry and performance. Codified like all arts, it seeks to create its own canon, its own cultural legacy in an underprivileged environment marred with conflict and racism. By doing so, it rejects appropriation and meaninglessness. Thabiso “Afukaran” Muhare chants:

“Your blackberry tweet is not a haiku

Your facebook status is not a poem

Your blog is not a novel”

Playing on the concepts of legacy and value by appropriating Wilfred Owen’s British poem in the title, ‘Anthem for doomed poets’, Muhare confronts the futile and the superficial. Going beneath the surface, extricating the true source of the problem, slam poetry truly decolonises linguistic and cultural paradigms in South Africa by subverting the means of expression, the type of poetry and the platform on which it is delivered. That’s what slam is all about.

Old&New: Songs of displeasure

Mathematical and objective music can often be devalued because it lacks emotion, but much like the definition of art and its ‘emotional power’, the image of the composer pouring their heart out onto the page is an overly romantic idea and often not the reality. Sometimes compositional processes are logical and mathematical, and this is impressive in its own way. For example, I was sitting at home watching Einstein on the Beach, an opera by Philip Glass which runs continuously for five hours. I was told to turn it off , because admittedly his extensive repetition and extreme durations can be difficult to endure, and my family were fed up with it. However I’ve been challenged by music teachers to alter my expectations and to explore new ways of listening. It is durational, repetitive music, but if you open your mind you can get into a zone when you listen, and you begin to notice the additive rhythms and subtle shifts in harmony, which weren’t immediately appreciated.

In the 60s and 70s, anti-art movement Fluxus aimed to challenge definitions and ideas about art and music. A number of composers raised questions in their work about the role of listening and imagining in music. Cornelius Cardew’s ‘Song of Pleasure’ could be likened to a poem, describing the sounds of someone rowing a boat: “The small creaking and thudding sounds of the oars…” I can understand why someone would be hesitant to label this as music, but like Einstein on the Beach, this work sparked important discussion about what constitutes music.

Believing that art and music must be detailed, beautiful and created by a skilled individual leads to both elitism and a hierarchy that excludes everyday people. “Even I could do that” is used as a criticism, when it should be used as motivation to actually get creative and give art a try. I believe that being optimistic and accepting when coming across new art and music leads to a more rewarding and positive experience. Perhaps instead of criticising art and music which we aren’t used to, we should challenge our own mode of listening and thinking. For example, if you come across a pile of bricks in an art gallery, instead of thinking, why the hell are these bricks in this gallery when I could barely scrape a B in art, you could challenge yourself to consider these questions: what are the colours, shapes and textures? What was the artist’s motivation in creating it? Is there more than meets the eye or am I overthinking it?

I believe it is far more refreshing to be open minded about the art that challenges your notions of what art should be. When I first visited the Tate Modern, I laughed at what I saw. I used to mock contemporary classical music, too. Now, I am mocked for my extreme inclusiveness when it comes to defining art and music. But I’m not complaining.