Tuesday, May 20, 2025
Blog Page 240

The life of a birth child

CW: abuse, trauma, fostering.

Sitting at my first dinner in the Oxford interview process of December 2019, I began to feel my eyes rolling. I’m sure we all encountered some characters in our interview experiences, however this particular person’s behaviour struck much deeper than your classic verging-on-misogyny ‘banter’. The confident, budding PPEist, taking centre stage of our table, was proclaiming she hated children, to which all her peers chuckled in agreement. Her reason was that they were annoying her at the tennis club she coached at. “Really?”, I thought, as my grip tightened around my cutlery. I sat at that table thinking, “well, I hate kids because one’s just been using my younger sister as his punchbag and another’s just gone on a hunger strike, hit my mum, and called her a c*nt”. 

I never uttered these words aloud, nor did she know I’d been experiencing what it is like to be a birth child in a foster family for two years. She had no reason to know the trauma I’d witnessed or endured because of the LACs (looked after children) co-habiting with my family, but it still enraged me. Are these the type of people I’m going to have to confide in when I’m struggling at university because of my past? As it turns out, the tennis coach is now one of my best friends. She is, in fact, incredibly understanding.

Maybe it is a result of my concerted effort not to unload my trauma onto others, but I still haven’t found a single other person at this university who has had a similar experience to me. I do appreciate we all come from very different backgrounds with our various issues, and it doesn’t negate the fact that the tweed-wearing misogynist can have trauma too – there is no ‘invalid’ trauma. I understand. I am also aware that I am extremely privileged to have been the birth child and not the LAC in my situation. However, perhaps like many others at this university, I felt that nobody could relate to my particular experience, and I found that very hard. My GCSEs and IB, for example, were heavily disrupted by instances relating to foster care: one day a child and their parent refused to get into the car with my mum, and so I couldn’t be collected from school, and I remember not being able to focus on my French vocabulary because I had to report a child who had told me she was being abused. Who, here, could really understand and relate to these experiences?

No one knows how proud I am to have my place at this university, to have got the grades I did while my home was torn apart by abuse inflicted on myself or my family, unfortunately often by those who had been abused themselves. When people tell me how easy it was for them to get in, how ‘calm’ the interview process was, or how it was just the natural progression for them as their parents went to Oxbridge, though I do feel guilty about my reaction, I can’t help but feel resentful.

It is hard to carry your trauma anywhere, but I find it particularly challenging at this university. I find it challenging to reconcile that so few people have had an experience like mine, and so many have been sheltered in happy, loving, comfortable homes and have glided into their room overlooking the Rad Cam. I am acutely aware that this is not their fault. I know I am white, from a financially stable background, able-bodied and went to a school that encouraged my application, and so I apologise if this article comes off as something of a sympathy or a ‘woe is me’ piece. I still think I am allowed to acknowledge at times the hurdles I leapt over to earn my place and wish people would be more sensitive, not just towards me, but everyone. You just cannot assume you know what anyone has been through to get here. I guess my hope is that if you find yourself absent-mindedly recounting how you found it so easy to gain your place here, please think again. If anything, open up a judgement-free space to discuss freely what you have all overcome to study at one of the best universities in the world.

Image credit: Pavel Danilyuk.

Student cooking doesn’t have to be a recipe for disaster

A larder full of spices. A bread-bin stuffed with comestibles. A fruit bowl brimming with produce. At home I have at my disposal the ingredients to cook almost anything I want, whenever I want. What’s more, there’s the space to make it, and people to eat it, things which are, for me, components as essential for cooking as a saucepan or a chopping board. So, when I came to university (equipped with a two-pocketed apron, a twelve-hole cupcake tin, and a five-in-one immersion blender), the frankly abysmal state of the kitchens was desperately disappointing. Nonetheless, I persevered, but one hole burnt in the floor, two spilt ramekins of French onion soup, and at least three accidental knife cuts later, there was only one thing left for me to make: a resolution to cook less.

Now, by cooking less, I don’t mean eating only Hall or takeaway food from now on – as exquisite as Hassan’s is, we’re students, and we all know how unsustainable that would be. And I don’t really want to endorse the ‘Don’t cook, just eat’ campaign, because, as I hope I’ve made clear, I like cooking. What I mean is, when I do cook, I need to behave less like a cook and more like a student. So, I’ve been exploring how the two need not be mutually exclusive and am now able to share all the weird ways in which I’ve reconciled them under my new resolution. For example, last week I made noodles for a friend (who described them as glorious), and upon entering the kitchen another friend commented, “that is not what I was expecting when you said you were making noodles.” Of course she wasn’t. Sometimes the definition of studenting is a sad, beige bowl of what is essentially noodles and salty water. But with just five minutes more cooking – some shiny spinach, a jammy egg, a sticky chicken breast – your meal can gain oodles of vibrant colour, nutritional value, and, apparently, glory.

So, if the three main things I miss about cooking at home are ingredients, space, and company, those noodles succeeded in overcoming the first hurdle. If you don’t have a multipack of instant noodles in your cupboard, then all I can ask is why ever not? Although at home you may (or not, as the case may be) possess all the accoutrements for a beautiful, from-scratch tonkotsu ramen broth, this is simply not a realistic option at university. Shin Ramyun noodles (my favourite ones) are, on the other hand, readily available in packs of five from my nearest supermarket. The first argument for their constant presence in any student’s cupboard is that they make a cheaper alternative to the inevitable maccies you’ll be craving on your way home from Bridge. But in terms of an actual meal, they’re not to be overlooked. Whilst they may not be a professional chef’s staples, noodles can be just that for students. Other key items, as I mentioned, should probably be spinach (please just buy it, it’s so easy, it can be put into literally anything), eggs (if you can eat them) and soy-sauce (for me, it’s the perfect marinade for a chicken breast or tofu along with honey and chili). And suddenly, although not as extensive as the cupboard at home, my food cupboard in university is capable of producing a well-rounded meal without needing an emergency Tesco trip.

The second obstacle to overcome was the lack of space. One day last term I came back to an incessant drilling noise in our building. It was not, in fact, me with my immersion blender again, but builders fixing one of our accommodation’s many problems, and in doing so creating a literal barrier to the kitchen. We were supposed to be having a dinner party. With access to the kitchen blocked I nonetheless needed to provide something, so the Barefoot wine on offer in Sainsbury’s held more temptation than usual. My appreciation of wine being rudimentary, though, I opted for a culinary offering instead: tiramisu. Also on offer were madeleines (yes, I did look for savoiardi biscuits first; no, I wasn’t going to venture beyond the Sainsbury’s at the bottom of our building for the sake of authenticity), so I added those to my basket along with some mascarpone and double cream – everything else I’d be able to scrounge from my cupboard. I cleared my desk and set to work constructing a tiramisu without a kitchen, which turned out to be a piece of cake – although cake would have been impossible, my room’s capability stretching only so far as a fridge, no oven. All you really need is the serving dish and a bowl to make the mascarpone mixture, because you can just pour the coffee over the sponge once it’s in the serving dish. And for the chocolate layer on top, just buy a flake, leave it in the wrapper, and stamp/drop your heaviest textbook on it. When you open it (over the serving dish!) a powdery, chocolatey mist will sprinkle forth like snowflakes.

Finally, I mentioned having people to share my cooking with. This seemed to come with time – the noodles were to share with a friend, the tiramisu for a dinner party. And although I did have to distance myself from my sous-chef for a few days after French-onion-soup-gate, it turns out that with my adjusted method, weighing equal amounts of cook against student, the yield of my recipes has not only been tasty, stress-free food, but also a hungry and grateful audience with whom to share it.

How (not) to look at buildings

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CW: racism, slavery

When was the last time something was so beautiful it shocked you?

During the vacation I went to the Barbican Centre one afternoon, as the sun was setting. Having spent the day walking, my feet were nearly numb, but still I kept wandering, the building’s hard-edged, sunlit shapes drawing me further and further in. Only when numbness turned to aching pain did I finally make myself sit down, still gazing at how concrete and light and glittering water intersected throughout the building complex.

The notion that beauty needs no other justification is a captivating one. In an essay about his own artistic principles, the Victorian painter James McNeil Whistler argued that “art should be independent of all clap-trap”—in his mind, art had no responsibility to impart moral lessons, a notion that thinkers such as Oscar Wilde would later champion. I think that they would be pleased with my total commitment to this beautiful experience, and the drug-like intoxication this sight produced.

I have a strange passion for the post-war modernist style of architecture that the Barbican is an example of—strange because the foundation of this beauty is a mire of tangled issues. This style, pioneered by architects such as Le Corbusier, stressed functionality, replacing the chaotic clutter of 19th-century cities with carefully planned expanses of green space and concrete building blocks. Le Corbusier argued that beauty should come from simplicity and functionality, calling excessive decoration “an abominable little perversion”—architecture which functioned well and improved society would be beautiful without the need for adornment.

But there are flaws to this approach. Take anthropologist James Holston’s analysis of Brasília, the capital of Brazil, which was constructed according to modernist architectural theories in a bid to create a more community-centric and egalitarian society. 

In his book The Modernist City: An Anthropological Critique of Brasilia, Holston notes that the apartment blocks of the city, conceived of as being where rich and poor alike would live, still featured servants’ elevators and maids’ quarters—ones which were “no bigger than a large closet”. He comments that when he asked an official in the city’s planning commission about why a supposedly egalitarian city would still need these features, the answer he received was “it has to be that way”. The result of this mismatch between an egalitarian ideology and long-held class structures meant that these reforms did not produce concrete change, but merely served to “increase humiliation” for the working class. The picture he paints is of a utopian theory which nevertheless clings on to the unequal ideologies of the past it aims to eradicate.

Even the very proportions that these buildings are based on have come under criticism. Le Corbusier designed his buildings according to a system of measurements called Modulor, based on the idealized form of a six-foot-tall man, which made for grand and elegant buildings. But this sort of abstract theory struggles with the real needs of the public. As this article in The Guardian observes, elegant flights of stairs look good, but are no use to someone pushing a stroller or a disabled person, and underpasses that seem functional in principle could have threatening blind spots that become unsafe to navigate. With the benefit of hindsight, the notion that modernist architecture is driven by functionality seems dubious.

The stridently utopian ideology of modernist architecture seems a strange thing to compare with the aestheticism of Wilde and Whistler that I mentioned earlier. But I find it interesting that even as Le Corbusier and other architects of this generation sought to divorce themselves from historical inequalities and flawed urban designs, these same issues resurfaced in their work. And even though “art for art’s sake” sought to be a revolution against ideology in art, it could be accused of being an exercise in justifying the beliefs of the Victorian upper-class, a way to present aimless indulgence as moral superiority. Such an accusation would oversimplify the nuances and ironies of what Wilde and his cohort believed, but the fact still stands that it is difficult to conceive of art that does not reflect some form of ideology. Even art that claims to be non-ideological, or to have tossed out old beliefs, may still be influenced by unexamined theories. 

Let us set aside the notion of non-ideological art for the moment and turn to its polar opposite. The Marxist philosopher Walter Benjamin, writing during the rise of Italian fascism in the 1930s, commented that fascism sought to frame war as being aesthetically beautiful. He explicitly states that the ideology of Mussolini and the fascist-allied Futurist movement is the “consummation” of “art for art’s sake”, arguing that the hedonistic pursuit of beauty was being warped by fascism into a means of justifying all sorts of hideous atrocities. Benjamin believed that the necessary response was for Communism to politicize art, using it to point out the evils of inequality and agitate for revolution.

In this framework, the artist’s moral responsibilities are clear—but what are the responsibilities of the audience? Beauty has a tremendous persuasive power, one that propagandists and advertisers throughout history have taken advantage of. Consider movies like The Birth of a Nation or Gone With The Wind, technical masterpieces which used the storytelling tools of cinema in ways that were highly original for their time. But these stories were also racist fictions which glorified the institution of slavery and the Ku Klux Klan—ideas which were presented to the audience with all the magnificence and glamour that Hollywood magic could muster.

I think that it’d be an utterly irresponsible act of self-deception if I tried to ignore how closely art reflects political issues. Considering this relationship can be difficult, especially when it relates to art that one might like to go on enjoying naively, but it’s also necessary.

But do I then have a responsibility to avert my eyes at the sight of a beautiful building, because of the ideology that it is constructed on? Is beauty something dangerous that we should only engage with as a way to expose and defuse the ideas it hides?

Art may be tied up with ideology, but there’s a difference between a movie and a party political broadcast, and I doubt that anyone but the most puritanical critics (on either extreme of the political spectrum) would want to judge art solely on moral and political grounds. There’s something frightening about the rapturous experience of beauty—it can go against our attempts to write down clear moral rules, making us cheer for things that we might otherwise find repulsive. It falls outside our expectations, forcing us to reconsider our assumptions about the world. This is why art is fascinating and valuable, but also why it’s so challenging to think about.

When considering this matter, I’m reminded of Susan Sontag’s essay “Against Interpretation”, and its argument about what the role of artistic criticism should be. Sontag suggested that critics tended to focus on political or psychological ways of understanding artwork, framing art as a means of delivering complex and intellectual allegories. However, this approach can “usurp [art’s] place”, neglecting the qualities that draw people to it in the first place—she notes that the use of imagery and editing in a movie is just as worthy of study (if not more so) as the philosophical ideas it espouses. Criticism should not bury art under intellectual jargon, Sontag concludes, but help us consider the mechanisms and techniques which make it capable of moving us.

Beauty, by its very nature, can shock and disorient us. That’s what makes art, whether in the form of a building or a book, valuable. I cannot imagine embracing beauty as a goal in itself, not when it can propagate and legitimate monstrous ideologies—and yet focusing solely on ideology would miss the point of art’s complexity. Beauty’s persuasive power is frightening, perhaps dangerous, but that only makes it especially vital to engage with what ideas that beauty communicates, and the nuances of how it does so.

These questions will likely run through my mind whenever I walk through a beautiful building, or admire a painting, or watch a film. It’s a strange source of anxiety—but I can’t help but want to look for the right balance between these positions (if one is even possible), to find the correct way to look at a building.

Artwork and photographs by Wang Sum Luk

How to survive May Day

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With the start of a new term, I’d be amazed if you hadn’t yet heard the words ‘May Day’ mentioned or even been asked the question ‘What are you doing for May Day?’. There certainly seems to be a buzz in the air surrounding this year’s celebrations, perhaps because they’ve been cancelled for the last two years. For current freshers and second years, this will be their first ‘normal’ May Day – yet another anticipated Oxford tradition to conquer and potentially, the ultimate test of endurance. For finalists, this year’s May Day celebrations mark one of the last opportunities to really let loose with friends in true Oxford fashion before exams beckon.

But there are also those who don’t see the appeal of May Day and question the point of staying up all night and most likely writing off the next day with a terrible hangover. My friend even said to me, ‘if it’s an enjoyable night, you shouldn’t last until 6am’. Nonetheless, for those May Day enthusiasts who are excitedly making plans and are, like me, guaranteeing their friends that they will make it to Magdalen Bridge at 6am, it’s worth planning ahead and brushing up on those drinking endurance skills.

For this year’s celebrations options abound. Both the O2 Academy and The Bullingdon are holding events until 6am, promising the biggest night out this term. Bridge and Atik are also hosting their regular nights with a late last entry and a 3am closing time. You may be lucky enough to have a ball ticket, with both the LMH and the Somerville-Jesus Ball hosting students until the early hours of the morning. If clubbing isn’t your thing, rumour has it that some pubs might have late closing times, and Oxford’s classic kebab vans will be there all night for when your stomach needs some extra lining to carry on.

Since we are a bit out of practice with May Day it could be worth taking some extra measures. If you intend on making it through the night without chunning on the side of Cowley Road, consider pacing yourself and spreading those tequila shots out throughout the night, but if that was exactly your plan then by all means go ahead! Another crucial mantra for a night out that I live by is food, food, food. Don’t be afraid of that extra portion in hall or the mid-night Solomons, especially if you want to embark on a drinking endurance test which sees you into May Morning.

Whatever happens and even if you don’t make it to hear the choir sing, at least you know that you were part of a bigger celebration – one which, in light of the Covid cancellations, feels much needed.

Photographs by Wang Sum Luk

“A generosity of spirit in her landscapes”: the artwork of Jean Jones

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CW: mental health

English painter Jean Jones was once predicted by Iris Murdoch to become ‘as famous as Van Gogh’. Her textured brush strokes, rendered in a bright, opulent palette and invoking comfortingly familiar landscapes from her life in Oxford, Devon and Primrose Hill, have been noted for their particularly ‘poetic’ and ‘lyrical’ quality. In a striking juxtaposition with the sunny serenity of the scenes, the progression of her artistic career was inevitably and tragically limited by her various struggles with mental illness. A team led by her grandson have made it their mission to shine a new light on her fascinating life and career once again. As the second of a duet of landmark exhibitions on Jones’ work, Pembroke College JCR Art Collection are hosting a brand-new exhibition ‘Jean Jones: In Dialogue with Modern British Painting’, running from the 30th April to the 15th May. The exhibition will include a selection of landscapes, still-lifes, portraits, and self portraits, many of which depict notable sites within Oxford, such as Holywell Street, Magdalene College Deer Park, and boat houses along the Isis river, and will focus on placing Jones alongside other post-war British painters, presenting Jones’ art in dialogue with artworks from the gallery’s own collection.

In anticipation of the exhibition, I spoke to Harry Langham, part of a three-person curatorial team at the Jean Jones Estate. We talked about the process of posthumous curatorial work, the experience of viewership, and the relationship between the art world and mental illness.

Tell me a bit about yourself and your curatorial background.

I am part of a three-person curatorial team at the Jean Jones Estate. Myself and my co-curator Alex studied English at Wadham College, whilst Michael Kurtz studied History of Art – also at Wadham. In 2019, the three of us were approached by the family of Jean Jones, who were looking for a team to revive her artistic legacy. Alex, Michael and I all have quite varied backgrounds working in curatorial and editorial roles across the arts, but from the very first day that we set out on this project, we all felt bound by a real belief in the power of Jones’s story, and a common desire to share this story with the world. 

Though she was obviously formerly very prolific, when Jones died in 2012, she was experiencing relative artistic obscurity. Her work is now undergoing an incredibly exciting posthumous revival! From your perspective, what is the significance of curating a posthumous exhibition, as opposed to curating the works of a living artist? Is there a kind of specific excitement involved in preserving a legacy?

I think this is an interesting question, and one that absolutely goes both ways. There is, without doubt, something magical in the act of curating an exhibition posthumously. When you look at Jones’s paintings up-close – seeing the textures of the paint, the physical remnants of her brushstrokes – you do feel a real sense of closeness to the living woman. I think it’s something to do with that almost tangible trace to the maker’s hand. And there’s nothing more exciting to us than the idea of Jones living on through the work that we are doing today. On the other hand however, I also feel a real sense of responsibility to present Jones’s work authentically and sensitively, in a way that reflects her own artistic principles. It’s worth pointing out that neither myself, nor my fellow curators ever met Jean Jones, so part of this work has involved extensive research into her diaries and letters, as well as conducting interviews with family members and friends that knew her well. We have tried to build as clear a picture in our own minds of her character, but there is always a voice in the back of my head whispering: “I hope she would approve!” My sense though is that she’d be delighted to know that her work was getting the attention it deserves.

Michael Kurtz commented on Jones’ belief in the moral value of close observation as a method of empathising with the world beyond the self. What do you think her work has to say about the relationship between the external world and the self? Particularly with regards to the way she painted scenes that had personal significance to her.

Yes – Michael’s done some brilliant work in this regard. If you look through Jones’s catalogue of work, you very quickly notice her tendency towards painting familiar scenes. That’s because for Jones, familiarity was not synonymous with mundanity. In Jones’s work, there are differences to be found in even the most familiar locales – the subtle shifting of light, the formations of clouds, the winding on of the seasons. To me that’s a real act of love. There is, I think, a generosity of spirit in her landscapes, which reflects the way she thought about painting more generally. As you may know, Jones suffered from an intense and deteriorating struggle with bipolar disorder, during which painting offered one of the few sources of respite. I wonder whether engaging her attention fully in the external world, perhaps allowed her to forget, for a time, the turbulence of her inner life.

I’m really intrigued by the ‘The Myth of the Tortured Genius’ virtual exhibition and how it explores the relationship between Jones’ creativity, artistry and mental illness. How do you think the trope of the tortured artist is changing in the 21st century? Or rather, how do you think it should change?

I think that exhibition came from our own experiences as curators for the estate of an artist who fits the criteria of the “tortured genius” trope. Those sort of readings, which attach a kind of magical or maverick quality to mental illness, do have a kind of unthinking, romantic attraction. But in reality of course, they are damaging, and in the case of Jean Jones, not particularly accurate. When we started looking into Jones’s work, we naturally found ourselves looking for reflections of her mental turmoil in her paintings. But it soon became clear that the correspondences weren’t there, and that her creative output existed not because, but in spite of her mental illness. Jones’s work was not the expression of a tortured mind. In fact, we feel that to see it in that way is to short change the seriousness of her craft. More broadly though, I don’t think there’s any place for it. In a world that takes mental illness seriously, the days of the “tortured genius” are done. 

What is your favourite painting displayed at St. Cross Church and why?

Oooh tough. The focus of the exhibition are a series of paintings of the church itself, but there’s some other great Oxford scenes on display too. There’s a particularly serene painting of Magdalen Deer Park for example, seen through the railings. If I had to choose a favourite though, I’d probably say Autumn Beech Shade (1971). Jones was fascinated by theories of vision, and throughout her work she sought to recreate the experience of viewership by warping and upturning the peripheries of her landscapes. This painting is a classic example of that, but taken to an even greater extreme than is usually the case. It is at once immersive and alienating – and I think at its best, that’s exactly what her work is capable of making you feel.

Image credit: freephotocc / Pixabay License via Pixabay

Oxford nightline is open 8pm-8am, every night during term-time, for anyone struggling to cope and provide a safe place to talk where calls are completely confidential. You can call them on 01865 270 270, or chat at oxfordnightline.org. You can also contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, by calling 116 123 or emailing [email protected].

The World According to Rusty… Week 1

This mildly comedic column has been written by a drag queen agony aunt. It is not for the faint hearted and contains sensitive topics which may cause distress to some readers. Be prepared for themes of substance abuse and what your mother keeps in the bottom drawer of her bedside cabinet (spoiler alert: your father likes being pegged).

State of the world got you down? Struggling to get up in the morning? Tired of going to constant Drag & Disorderly shows and reading a paper with two (yes, two) drag queen columnists? Get a grip – drag queens need to eat too, and a daily diet consisting of 40 Marlboro Gold and half an Adderall doesn’t come cheap.

Rusty Kate is Oxford’s premier cum-filled crossdresser, a viral sensation (and yes, that burning sensation is viral) known for her sold out shows in glamorous venues (your father’s spare bedroom) all across the city. She’s decided to take a short hiatus from leading Marine Le Pen’s public communications team to teach you about the importance of talcum powder in rubber play. Sorry, wrong column – to answer life’s biggest problems as resident Dragony Aunt.

Remember to submit your questions through this form – buy some merchandise while you’re there. I’ve not done a pregnancy test yet, but I’ll almost definitely have kids to feed at some point soon.

How do I deal with my ever-decreasing desire to have sex in this postmodern, intimacy deprived and ultimately depraved world?

Let the sex fuel you. If you’re like me, being penetrated can help you dissociate out of this godforsaken world. Lie on your front, sniff some poppers, and let the railing take you away to a land of daydreams and thinking about how your grandmother is doing. Is she coping in that house all by herself? She’s awfully forgetful at the minute, maybe you should get her checked for dementia. What if she leaves the oven on? She’ll turn the house into the Reichstag in 1933. What’ll happen to your inheritance then? Not to mention she’ll be left looking like a sunburnt sphynx cat. And by the time you fall down that mental hole, he’s already ejaculated, and he can get back to fixing your plumbing.


My friend has had some trouble getting it up. His girlfriend told me, and she’s a little bit down about it. I’m struggling with what to tell him?!

Ah, I’ve seen this problem before. So, your “friend” has a bit of whisky dick? Pilly willy? Depressed dong? Floppy phallus? Sickly sex organ? It’s not the end of the world – there are solutions. What your ‘friend’ needs to do is to analyse why he’s struggling to get it up. Is it a psychological issue, a bit of trauma from the past rearing it’s ugly, uncle-shaped head – or is it physical? Does he have too little blood spare to fill it up? Are his poor, congested arteries working overtime to do a sub-par job at lifting his miniscule member? It reminds me of an old boyfriend who used to pray to Jesus to fix his erectile dysfunction – but you have to remember that Jesus healed the sick, he didn’t raise the dead.

Ultimately, I say he should go to a therapist and figure out what’s going on in his head. No, not that head. It’s probably got something to do with mummy issues. Worst comes to worst, I know a guy that sells Viagra. There’s also a 20% student discount for Ann Summers’ strap-ons.

Submit your burning questions to Rusty Kate here.

Defying Gravity: In conversation with Stephen Schwartz

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There’s something magic about a Stephen Schwartz musical. 

Maybe it’s the grand themes his work sets out to explore. Pippin is a dazzling coming-of-age tale that asks its audience what it means to be truly satisfied. Rags is an epic portrayal of an immigrant’s struggle to succeed. Wicked is a compelling exploration of good and evil, and the dangers of political ambivalence.

Or perhaps it’s his signature showstoppers: Meadowlark, Stranger to the Rain, Defying Gravity. The songs contain beautiful melodies, thrilling orchestrations, and lyrics that capture the uncertainty felt by characters in a state of transition: to stay or to go, to accept the safety of the known, or embrace the uncertainty of the future. They’ve gone on to become anthems in their own right, even outside the context of their shows. 

Then again, it might be the kind of stories he tells, ones that champion the underdog. Whether it be a witch outcast because of the colour of her skin, a Prince banished for calling out the injustices and cruelty of his Kingdom, or a boy in search of his corner of the sky. 

“I tend to be attracted to stories about outsiders,” Schwartz tells me at the beginning of our call, “about people who feel themselves not part of the culture or not part of the mainstream if you will, and are trying to figure out how to fit in, and what the cost is of doing so.”

This trend continues with his most recent musical, Prince of Egypt, the stage adaptation of the hit 1998 animated feature. The reviews show that, fifty years into his career, this three-time Grammy winner, three-time Oscar winner, and six-time Tony nominated composer and lyricist continues to write stories that capture the heart of his audience. 

Schwartz’s self-described “roller-coaster” of a career began on Broadway with his 1971 hit show Pippin. At just 23 years old, Schwartz took home the Drama Desk Awards for Most Promising Composer and Most Promising Lyricist. The success of Pippin was followed by Godspell in 1972 and The Magic Show in 1974. At 26 years old, Schwartz had three successful musicals playing on Broadway. And the theatre world was hungry to see what he would do next.

And yet, his next musical, The Baker’s Wife, never made it to Broadway. It was the start of a difficult patch for the composer-lyricist, as none of the shows he wrote in the subsequent years gained significant traction on Broadway. Rags, Working, Children of Eden, and The Baker’s Wife, were, in the eyes of his critics, flops. 

“That was a new experience for me and it was extremely unpleasant. It was tough for me emotionally. That period took a while for me to recover from,” he tells me.

Does he wish the immense successes of Pippin and Godspell had come later in his career?

“I think I would have handled it better,” he says, “I cannot be sorry that at 23 years old, this show that I was involved with, Godspell, became a worldwide phenomenon, and it made me famous and it made me financially comfortable. I cannot regret that. What I can say is that having that kind of early success, rather extreme success, before I actually knew what I was doing and before I actually understood how showbusiness worked, created some psychological difficulties and some confusion for me.”

“I just was not emotionally or experientially equipped to deal with it, to know how to work with my collaborators, to be able to take ups and downs in stride…I just couldn’t do that when I was in my early 20s and all this was happening to me. And for me,” he says.

In the mid-90s, Schwartz’s career pivoted to Hollywood. He enjoyed a very fruitful partnership with composer Alan Menken, who, following the huge success of The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Aladdin, sought Schwartz out to write lyrics for what would become the 1995 film Pocahontas. Finding success in doing so, he went on to write lyrics for The Hunchback of Notre Dame and The Prince of Egypt (for which he also composed the music).

It was the allure of adapting Gregory Maguire’s 1995 novel Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West that drew Schwartz back to Broadway. Maguire’s revisionist take on The Wizard of Oz gives the previously two-dimensional wicked witch a name – Elphaba – and a sympathetic backstory. 

“I heard the title and what the book was about and knew that it was something for me, because I just knew who [Elphaba] was,” he says.

Defying Gravity is the show’s most famous tune. The iconic ballad closes out the first half, when Elphaba realises she will never be seen as anything other than wicked. Flying off into an uncertain future, we see her take her first steps to becoming the Wicked Witch of the West. With its messages about empowerment, the song has become an anthem for anyone who has ever felt like they don’t belong. 

The song began life as five chords that Schwartz had scribbled on a piece of paper over a year before he began work on the song. Those same five chords can be heard at the beginning of the song. The chord progression evokes the idea of growing power, as Elphaba begins to embrace the gifts she’s been given. Listening to it, it gives the idea of something coming together, just out of reach. The effect is magical. 

But how did he achieve it?

“First of all it’s in D flat, which is, to me, the most powerful key on the piano,” he says. “[It] just has great resonance. It’s sort of my favourite key to write in when you really want to get an emotion.”

“There’s virtually no thirds in the chord, the only third that appears in that little sequence is in the bass,” he continues, “[a third in a chord] takes tension away because it identifies whether it’s a major or minor chord. It also has a more kind of complete sonority to it. So, a lot of times I write without thirds or I stick them in the bass. It gives it a kind of power, at least to my ear.”

The show’s second act opens with Thank Goodness. We learn that, in the years that have passed, Elphaba has become the scapegoat for everything wrong in Oz, while Glinda has risen the ranks within Oz, now known as “Glinda the Good”. With a title, a place in government, and her soon-to-be husband, Glinda claims that she “couldn’t be happier.” And yet, something isn’t right. It’s a moment of realisation, as Glinda discovers that happiness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Her sense of discomfort is expertly conveyed through Schwartz’s music. 

“It’s a song I am very proud of,” Schwartz says, “what it does for the character, the use of subtext, the way the music works in it. There are just things about it that I feel were me operating at pretty much the top of my game.”

“It’s not in a regular rhythm or regular time signature,” he explains, “[Thank Goodness] has shifting time signatures so it flows much more conversationally. It also has more insecurity, you can’t really tap your foot to it. It’s a song that’s musically happening moment to moment, which I think supports what is happening with the character. She’s making discoveries about herself as she sings the song.”

He cites lyricist Tim Rice as a great influence, particularly his song Another Suitcase in Another Hall from the 1978 hit musical Evita. In the song, Perón’s mistress, having been fired by the titular Evita, laments her circumstances and the uncertain future that awaits her.

“[Rice] will have a character sing something, and then the character will hear what he or she has just sung, and comment on it,” he says. 

“Call in three months’ time and I’ll be fine I know,” the mistress sings, “Or maybe not that fine, but I’ll survive anyhow.”

We see this in Thank Goodness. Glinda tells the audience that “she couldn’t be happier/ Simply couldn’t be happier”, before correcting herself: “well…not ‘simply’”.

Thank Goodness also gives the audience a gorgeous, and rare, belt from Glinda. In the song, Schwartz cracks open her polished exterior, allowing the audience a glimpse into the woman behind the public figure. It’s a nuanced and subtle moment in a show known for its spectacle.

Defying Gravity, with its spectacle, rousing war cry and dangerously high belts, and Thank Goodness, taking a more philosophical and deeper approach, feel like they belong on completely different ends of the musical theatre canon. Does the writing process behind these two very different types of songs differ?

“No, the writing process isn’t different, but I’m aware of the storytelling responsibility [in both cases].”

[Defying Gravity] needs to have a certain effect to deliver what the show needs, what the energy of the show needs, what the audience investment in the show needs. There are other places where the job is to be more thoughtful and have more nuance and more depth because the show needs that as well. I don’t really have a preference for one over the other. Maybe as a writer I have a little bit more affection for songs like I’m Not That Girl or Thank Goodness, which have more nuance and subtlety maybe. There’s an overall job in creating the score that you have to deliver both these elements.”

When Wicked first opened on Broadway it took the world by storm, grossing more than $56 million in its first year. The show itself is outstanding, but I can’t help but wonder what made it fare so much better than Schwartz’s other creations? What made Wicked different?

“There’s a difference between a show that’s a hit and a show that becomes a phenomenon,” he tells me, “That has to do with things outside the show itself. It has to do with what’s going on in the zeitgeist. Wicked came along at a time when the idea of female empowerment was just coming to the fore in our culture.”

Schwartz also believes its success stems from the kind of love story Wicked told.

“It came at a time when our culture was looking for that kind of story. There have been all these bromances for years, and then suddenly here was this story about this relationship between two women.”

Despite its huge box office success, like many a Schwartz show before it, reviews for Wicked were mixed when the show came out in 2003. The show would go on to lose the Tony Award for Best Musical to Avenue Q the following year. 

“I’m never going to get the reviews that Stephen Sondheim gets or Lin-Manuel Miranda. For whatever reason that’s my fate,” Schwartz tells me, “and that’s OK. In the end, it hasn’t mattered.”

It certainly hasn’t mattered to his audiences. Even his less successful shows have found their following. In fact, I wonder if our appreciation of Schwartz’s shows has something to do with their often lukewarm critical reception. We too, perhaps, love the story of an underdog. 

As our conversation draws to a close, I ask Schwartz how it felt to return to Broadway, triumphant, all those years later.

“It was a nice feeling because I feel I sort of left under a cloud, if you will, and returned with something that was so embraced. On the other hand, as you’ve pointed out, it’s not like I got such great reviews for it. In some ways, nothing really had changed, except that the show itself was so successful, but I had changed. I think really what happened was I just didn’t need that anymore. It didn’t matter to me that I was never going to be the critics’ darling that some of the writers were, and it didn’t really matter to me if there were people who weren’t ever going to like what I did, as long as there were enough people that the show itself could work. I think I got over the rest of that.”

His Defying Gravity moment?

He laughs.

“That’s exactly right,” he says. “It came at much too high a cost.”

Image credit: Pax Ahimsa Gethen / CC BY-SA 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

A Month of Reconnection: Ramadan Practices in a Post-COVID World

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When you ask a Muslim, or even a non-Muslim, the question: what is Ramadan? Almost always, the answer is a month of fasting, of abstaining from food and drink from sunrise to sunset. The follow up would be: “not even water?”

Indeed, fasting is the hallmark of Ramadan, the holiest month of the year for Muslims. Many wake up to eat suhoor, a meal before fajr, dawn, and break their fast with a meal known as iftar at sunset, often with dates and milk or water as exemplified by the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). As Ramadan follows the lunar calendar, the start of the month varies from year to year, dependent on the sighting of the moon. This also means that the hours which Muslims fast vary by the area they live in, which can range from 10 to 20 hours per day. Exemptions apply for those obliged to fast but are unable to, such as patients with long-term health conditions, menstruating and pregnant women, and children, who may make it up by charitable acts or fasting when they are able to do so.

But Ramadan is more than a month of abstention – it is a month of devotion, reconnection with the Divine and spiritual self-improvement. Linguistically, scholars have noted that the word Ramadan is derived from ‘ramadha’, which means ‘to burn’, symbolising the burning of our sins, where the act of fasting ‘burns’ and relinquishes them. Ramadan is also the month of the Qur’an as it is the month in which the Holy Scripture of Islam was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), so Muslims commemorate this revelation through prayer, charity, and building a closer relationship with God.

Although worship is a personal matter, the Muslim is subjected to the shari’ah law, a set of Islamic laws that encompass the religious and the secular, and the public and the private aspects of Muslim life. Fard al-kifayah, the concept of communal obligation in Islam, includes performing ritualistic acts of worship such as congregational prayers. Tarawih prayers are congregational night prayers specifically performed during the month of Ramadan, but it is sunnah, i.e. not obligatory but highly encouraged as the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) had done so. Mosques around the world hold tarawih prayers every night and for many Muslims, from the religious to the not-so religious, going to these prayers with family holds not only spiritual but also cultural significance for them.

The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic over the last two years has put a hold on such communality. Lockdowns and restrictions have impacted the more cultural aspect of Ramadan festivities, from large family gatherings and reunions for iftar to the joy of visiting overand spending on delicious food and sweets at Ramadan bazaars. But more importantly, the cohesion of the Muslim community, the ummah, and the congregational aspect of worship has been threatened.

The shari’ah law, which governs religious practices, has had to adapt to state-enforced social isolation measures. Congregational prayers are performed with the opposite of such, as the imam, the leader of the prayer, stands at the forefront by himself, followed by the congregation standing in rows behind him: ankle-to-ankle, shoulder-to-shoulder. With the onset of the pandemic, religious authorities had to revise religious rulings, known as fatwas, to comply not only with social distancing measures but also the shari’ah.

For example, Friday prayers, which can only be prayed congregationally, were suspended for the first time in many countries across the world such as Malaysia, Pakistan, and Scotland, where religious authorities declared it permissible to be conducted at home. As restrictions slowly eased in mid-2020, the resumption of congregational prayers in mosques had to comply with government regulations to ensure the safety of the community. For example, in June 2020, the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore issued a fatwa which discussed how to perform congregational daily and Friday prayers, identified those excused from the obligation of Friday prayers and suggested how to accommodate more congregants given space limitations. These legal rulings on the rituals of worship were revised and interpreted to adapt to the restrictions of the pandemic, and it is this dynamism and flexibility of the Islamic law that has allowed it to maintain its relevance to Muslim life throughout history.

Lockdowns were also a threat to the cohesion of the Muslim community, as the closure of social spaces limited not only community worship, but also severed the ‘connection’ and human interaction within the wider community. Mosques, which in this modern day and age may seem as a mere physical space of worship, plays a central role in providing social, emotional, and even financial support. The loss of such spaces when the lockdowns in 2020 coincided with the holy month of Ramadan and the subsequent Eid celebrations, led to recreation of such experiences at home. According to a study by Laura Jones-Ahmed on ‘British Muslim Experiences of Ramadan in Lockdown’, many Muslims in Ramadan 2020 lamented the loss of the mosque and its community, often seen as interchangeable concepts, and its communal activities such as tarawih prayers and large iftars. This led to a focus towards the nuclear family instead, where many felt that the benefit of the pandemic was that praying together as a family had brought them closer. There was more time for spiritual practices together, as the isolation caused by the social restrictions encouraged reflection and enhanced their ability to connect with God during the blessed month of Ramadan.

With social distancing in place, religious institutions around the world also saw the need to move online to facilitate congregational worship and religious education. Muslims had to adapt to online worship, where the use of technology facilitated the livestreaming of Friday prayer sermons to a small socially-distanced congregation prayer on Facebook or Zoom. While religious practices had to be revised to adapt to technology, it was easier for religious education, an example being the halaqah religious study circles, to be held online. The impact of technology allowed Muslims to join across the world, facilitating the collective connection of the ummah, the Muslim community, and its spiritual revival during a time when it was most needed.

Fast forward to 2022: as COVID-19 restrictions are beginning to ease around the world today, it will be the first time since 2020 since Muslims have experienced a ‘normal’ Ramadan. From resumption of tarawih prayers outside the nuclear family and communal iftars at mosques to Ramadan bazaars and other cultural celebrations, the return to near normalcy of religious festivities and practices has garnered an emotional response from the Muslims – it is the community connection and the sense of solidarity that distinguishes this blessed month from the others. At the beginning of Ramadan this year, I noticed many Muslims on social media voicing their gratitude to be observing a ‘normal’ Ramadan, even those who do not consider themselves as particularly religious. The physical presence of the community that had been lost over the last two years has now returned – a joyous occasion for many. However, it is still a source of anxiety with most social-distancing measures being removed, and some may opt to pray at home to protect the more vulnerable members of their family.

As a third-year undergrad student here at Oxford, I had spent Ramadan 2020 online with the Oxford University Islamic Society, as I did not go back to my home in Malaysia. Iftars sessions were held on Zoom, allowing me to become acquainted with other Muslims around the city who were also going through Ramadan alone. Though Ramadan coincides with most of the Easter vacation this year, many students who are staying in Oxford over the holidays, including myself, are observing a ‘normal’ Ramadan with the wider Muslim community here in Oxford. For me, there is joy in breaking fast together every day at the Muslim Prayer Room at the Robert Hooke Building, followed by a much-needed cup of tea and catching-up with the other sisters before we wait for tarawih prayers. During previous Ramadans, my family and I would also go to our local mosque for iftars, and I am grateful to be able to carry on this tradition with the ISoc community here: and it feels like a home away from home. 

While Ramadan has been depicted in the media through the celebration of cultural festivities throughout the Muslim world, such as endless food bazaars and extravagant iftar tents in the UAE, it is important for Muslims to remember that gluttony and the overindulgence are counterproductive to the spirit of Ramadan, which emphasises increasing good actions and generosity through charity. Fasting isn’t just about hunger – the very act offers an opportunity to take pause and reflect in this fast-paced world by disconnecting from the vicissitudes of modern life. Fasting itself is a major act of ibadah, worship, as its physical discipline and voluntary deprivation allows us to be more conscious of God and His blessings, and our vulnerability and limitations.

Eid al-Fitr, the holiday after the end of Ramadan, is a time for celebration of their efforts in Ramadan. From attending the communal Eid prayer in the morning to spending time and feasting with loved ones and the community, the ways in which Muslims celebrate vary across cultures around the world. This year, Muslims are looking forward to being able to celebrate a ‘normal’ Eid after so long.

Worship, from the Islamic perspective, is not mere ritual, but penetrates into the heart of the human being and encompasses everything about one’s ultimate concern including beliefs, feelings and actions. While the COVID-19 pandemic may have pressed pause on the congregational aspect of Islamic religious practices over the last two years, the core essence of Islam holds steadfast in the journey towards the return to normality.

Image credit: Shahab Ghayoumi / CC BY 4.0 via Wikimedia Commons

Summer 2022 Trend Predictions

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Shoes – As someone who struggles to walk in anything with a smaller surface area than a block heel, I am pleased to report the continued seasonal popularity of the wedge heel! It may not always be Oxford-cobbled-street-friendly, but the wedge heel offers a timeless summer shoe that can be worn season after season. For those who are inclined toward second-hand clothes-buying, the 90s and noughties offer some fab strappy sandals in this style. The flatform sole will also appear in its summer sandal form, for a style more suited to city living and power walking to the Bod for an exam cram. 

Layering – We all know that, as much as we might wish differently, the British summer is notoriously unreliable in its weather offerings. Layering is the answer! Pick out your favourite cami top and layer it with a thin blouse for a weather-proof 2022 look. Indeed, our continued recourse to Y2K has given us office-chic looks (think button-up shirts worn in the office by a noughties Dad) which can be elevated by layering crop tops or crochet vests for a look warm enough to survive a surprise rain shower.  

Colour Palette – Vogue UK’s April issue predicts the continued prevalence of pastels in our summer wardrobes, but a look around Westgate’s high-street shops suggests summer will also continue to see a preoccupation with deep, bright colours. Influenced perhaps by media like Euphoria, and by the continued interest in bold dressing spawned by the pandemic, deep hot pinks and block cerulean hues are likely to continue their hold on summer 2022’s colour scheme. Mixed patterns and florals seem to be less popular than in some summer seasons, in favour of block ensembles in which cut-outs and asymmetry provide the visual complexity of the piece.

Stand-out Items – I do always talk about corsets – but corsets! With such a versatile possible range of nuance of style – from cropped, bright, boned corsets for nights out to patterned stays for those inclined toward cottage-core – corset-style tops will be a summer staple. The famous Miu Miu mini skirt also suggests a trend toward shorter bottoms which will be popular this summer, but additionally an increased interest in DIY-fashion type looks, with raw hems and exposed seams. Indeed, DIY looks may provide a lot of the stand-out items of our personal wardrobes this summer, with the interest in second-hand shopping throwing up strange and outstanding statement pieces to be worn throughout the warmer months.

Image Credit: Anna Roberts

The Afterlife of a Ballgown

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Balls! After two years of cancellations, postponements, and miscellaneous Covid-related havoc, ‘tis once more the season to dress up, dance the night away, and take the pictures your parents will love nearly as much as your matriculation shots. Obviously, the right outfit is essential – and finding one is easier than it has ever been. The shift in perspective within the last few years has been such that most ball committees now have some iteration of an Eco Rep – someone to try to minimise the negative environmental impact. Something they don’t have control over – and perhaps one of the most ecologically questionable aspects of a ball – is the outfits. The double-edged sword of suits is that, whilst having far less scope for creative expression than a gown (although, I am begging anyone planning on wearing one to try and think a little outside the black-and-white box), this makes them essentially re-wearable. The afterlife of a ballgown, though, is a bit trickier – so, because ball fashion itself is more diverse than it has ever been, and you ought not to buy a ball outfit based on sweeping generalisations – here is some advice on being a sustainably attired baller. More than pretty much anything else you might buy, a ballgown represents an odd intersection of disposability. It’s one of those things that is probably founded on a traditional assumption that if you were At Oxford, you’d most likely be able to afford a new gown for any such event, and likely also to dispose of it as soon as it had served its purpose. Finally, it’s also good to remember the entire life-cycle of the ballgown – so if possible, it’s good to start at the opposite end – by buying yours (if possible) second hand in the first place. Then, you can be entirely sure you aren’t putting money into the pockets of fast fashion companies (because, let’s face it, unless you are miraculously lucky enough to afford borderline bespoke, that’s what it likely will be), your dress will be somewhat unique, and you’ll be saving yourself money – wins all round. I know that the urge (if you can afford to indulge it) to buy a spanking-new outfit for The Big Oxford Ball is a powerful one – but, at the end of the day, is it really worth it for what is most likely a one-night outfit? Whilst it’s likely that if you bought it new, it was probably expensive enough for you to want to keep it around, The Ballgown is a garment you’re probably unlikely to consider re-wearing. Personally, I’m a big advocate for wearing what you want when you want (who’s stopping you from wearing it to your next formal hall?) – but that isn’t for everyone. But never fear – there are plenty of solutions. To assuage your one-and-done guilt, you might get on a site like Oxford’s very own ‘Let’s All Share Our Clothes’ Facebook group (I do hope you don’t need me to tell you what it does). Formal or ball-type dresses are one of the most common requests on there, and it can be a nice way to give your dress another lease of life, especially if you’re a finalist or otherwise unable to get out much. If you’re looking for a more direct return on your investment, you can, of course, sell the thing – sites like eBay and Vinted do an absolutely roaring trade in prom/ball dresses, precisely because of their mayfly lifespan. You might not make as much as you paid in the first place, but it’s another way of getting those warm environmentalist fuzzies – as well as a few quid for yourself. As life gradually creeps back towards a new normality, it’s important that we apply the environmental consciousness gained over hours of lockdown doomscrolling in all areas of our lives – and balls are an excellent place to start.

Image Credit: rawpixel.com / CC0 1.0 via Rawpixel