Wednesday, April 30, 2025
Blog Page 301

In Conversation with Otegha Uwagba

‘I just remember walking home one evening and thinking, I need to write about this, I need to talk about this openly, because I cannot be the only one that feels this internal turmoil and this anxiety about money,’ Otegha Uwagba tells me at the start of our call. The sensation that she describes – this undercurrent of anxiety surrounding money – is one that feels personally quite close to home.

Otegha Uwagba is a two-time author, soon to be three, and all-around powerhouse. Her debut book, Little Black Book, made the Sunday Times bestseller list. Having spent several years in the advertising industry, she made a career change in 2016, launching her now-defunct working women’s collective Women Who and beginning her writing career. She runs the podcast In Good Company, where she interviews women about their work, although in its second season the podcast has broadened its remit to include the arts and culture more generally. For those that might want to pursue a career in media, Otegha Uwagba is the picture of success. 

This perceived success is not something that Uwagba necessarily feels reflected the reality of her early writing career. ‘I just felt such a disconnect between the external persona that I was projecting and that people perceived, which was kind of this young, debut, author, and you’ve got interviews and book launches, […] which is really exciting and shiny, and just my internal anxiety about money, and what my future was going to look like. I didn’t know where my career was going to go.’ 

In her new ‘money memoir’ We Need to Talk About Money, set for release on July 8th, Uwagba charts her life so far through the lens of her relationship with money and work. The book, which I read after our conversation, is consistently and unapologetically honest. Uwagba never fails to shy away from the complexity of emotion that can surround money, class, and work, and with every chapter’s ending she eschews easy conclusions in favour of direct, telling honesty. Given the current vogue for discussing money and work online, as reflected in the publication of books including Sarah Jaffe’s Work Won’t Love You Back and the success of projects like Chelsea Fagan’s The Financial Diet, part of me expected the book to reach some easier to digest points – but per Uwagba’s signature approach, she refuses to oversimplify her experiences.

In the book’s second chapter, Uwagba describes her time at Oxford as a woman from a privately-educated background (she attended one of London’s top private schools on a scholarship). ‘I soon came to understand the significance of ‘the school question’, and the way that other students – mostly those who’d been privately educated – would politely ask about where you’d gone to school. Both question and answer are proxies, a fairly unsubtle way of probing into someone’s background and signalling your own credentials, as well as potentially unearthing any mutual connections; I am convinced that the privately educated in Britain are only ever two degrees of separation from each other’. 

Although Uwagba graduated some time ago, this experience is one that every fresher here continues to encounter. Whether it be in our current government, or in more local spaces like The Oxford Union, it is difficult to escape the long-term connections fostered by Britain’s omnipresent private school network. When I asked Uwagba about her time at Oxford, she described it as generally uneventful, although she suggested that her private-school background may have cushioned her from experiencing the full alienation that students sometimes undergo in the city. For her, the economic imbalance between herself and her peers only became obvious after graduation. ‘I think for me, things really started to become clear after uni, when some people’s parents buy them flats as soon as they graduate, and stuff like that. And I’m like, ‘Wow, that is not my position at all.’ And that really became more and more clear as our 20s progressed.’

And it is to her 20s that Uwagba dedicates most of the book’s chapters. There is her time post-graduation, her ascension to the advertising department at media’s favourite wild child VICE, and her ultimate decision to move back in with her parents and start her writing career. When Uwagba and I started our call, she asked if I had been able to find any internship opportunities for the summer and whether I wanted to be a journalist myself. As I explained to her that I felt sceptical about the stability of the industry and offput by some of my peers’ comments about my desire for financial stability, it was clear that I had hit a nerve. 

‘There’s an element of, you should do it for the love of it. You should create art, or design, or take photos for the love of it, which does drive a lot of people in those industries. I certainly do write because I enjoy doing it, I love doing it. And that’s the same with a lot of other creative workers. But then that’s almost supposed to partially compensate you. And it’s like, well, my bank doesn’t accept my love as legal tender,’ she says, with clear frustration. 

This is a problem that is perhaps unique to the creative industry: lawyers and bankers are rarely expected to work for the love of it, but if you are a creative, the job comes with that as an unspoken rule. It is a rule that keeps pay low and working hours high. As Uwagba pointed out, ‘These jobs are really highly sought after, are a bit more glamorous, a bit more prestigious, a lot of people will do them. […] The economics of supply and demand means that that pushes wages down.’ Some of these problems are beginning to be reckoned with. In the time since our call, the New Yorker Union, who have been campaigning for almost 3 years, finally reached an agreement with parent company Condé Nast. Wages and benefits at the publication will increase, and N.D.A.s will be banned in cases of workplace discrimination or harassment. It still feels like too little too late.

It is clear from reading her book that Uwagba is all too familiar with the contradictions that underpin the modern creative industry. Her chapter on Girlboss feminism, a now widely despised mindset that found some level of popularity in the early to mid-2010s, is a place where she really leans into these complexities: ‘For me, and I imagine for many other women, that challenge is further complicated by my desire to thrive under the prevailing economic system even as I recognise its many flaws, and my understanding that doing so requires me to have a certain amount of capital’. Girlboss feminism has now been so widely deconstructed it has reached a level of memeification, but Uwagba is unashamed of exploring how it may have helped her break out of a male-dominated company in favour of stepping out on her own. 

Given the book’s chronological structure, it seems only natural that our conversation should end on Uwagba’s recent success in buying a flat in London. Renting in the city is an experience that Uwagba describes both to me, and in the book, as nothing short of horrific. ‘I was just like, ‘Oh my god, I’m staring down the barrel of a gun of renting for the rest of my life.’ Even now, having successfully bought her home, she feels disillusioned with the problems in the UK’s current buying process. ‘Going through the whole process showed me how messed up it all is, and how difficult it is, especially if you’re freelance, and how many hoops you have to jump through.’

It’s a buying system that Uwagba describes as assuming certain things of those that try to enter it: that you have a ‘traditional’ job, that you are buying with a partner, that you are earning a significant amount even if you’ve been able to make rent that is the same as the mortgage that you’re applying for. ‘It made me even more angry about how fucked up the system is. Because I’m like, everybody should be able to have this. And you shouldn’t have to make a lot of money to be able to do it. And the reality is, I had made much more than the average salary in the year or two leading up to it. […] It’s impossible to do on an average salary in London, you have to be earning well above average, you would ideally be buying with a partner.’

So, what are the solutions to all of this? On a personal level, Uwagba feels that the partial solution to her own financial anxiety was, somewhat unsurprisingly, having more money: ‘I’d say my relationship with money only started to improve in the very tail end of my 20s, which coincidentally, was when I started to make more money, and also started to feel like, okay, I am on a career track where I can actually probably make a decent amount.’

But on a broader social level, I wondered whether the book’s title suggests that talking about money might be a solution in itself. Uwagba corrects me here: ‘I don’t want to say that just talking about money on a really micro level is going to solve all of your problems, because I think that is the message that a lot of people in the finance space are pushing”, she points out. ‘When I say we need to talk about money, I mean it on a much bigger socio-political scale. We need to talk about who has money, how they got it, why they got it, who doesn’t, how that came to be and how all of those differences affect our individual experiences of the world, so that we can start thinking about what needs to be done about how money is made, and spent, and shared, because fundamentally it’s very unfair.’

We Need To Talk About Money is available to preorder here now.

Photo Image Credit: Ollie Trenchard

Football Varsity preview: “We are full of confidence going into Saturday”

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As the rest of Europe hold their nerves in for the start of the Euros knockout stages this Saturday, Oxford are looking for revenge after two long-awaited years in the Varsity matches against Cambridge, with 2020’s matches being cancelled due to Covid-19. Cambridge will be coming to Oxford, playing at Court Place Farm, the home of Oxford City Football Club. For the first time ever, both the men and women’s team will be playing under one logo, and will head into the Varsity matches being governed by a single president, Alessandra David, with this change to the club’s structure having been made in 2020. Team members from both squads will also be awarded with a Full Blue. Although 2019 saw the men’s Blues lose on penalties and the women’s team lose 3-1, Ben Putland, the captain of the men’s Blues, emphasised the need for focus ahead of Varsity: “It doesn’t matter what has happened previously; if you win the Varsity you know it’s been a good season. Everything we have done has been in preparation and there’s a buzz of excitement around the squad which is exactly what you want going into a game like this. It’s now about remaining calm and focussed but we are confident we can bring the C.B. Fry trophy home to Oxford and join the storied list of past varsity winners.”

While the season has been disrupted due to multiple lockdowns and exams, the women’s Blues have busied themselves with various fixtures, beating Oxford United U21 (3-1), Long Crendon FC (1-0), and Oxford Brookes (5-2). The women’s team then went on to beat Brookes once again in the annual Brookes Varsity match, with a 3-0 win. The men’s team have also had various successful results, winning against Marston Saints (12-0), Oxford City U18s (4-1), and Oxford City U23s (5-2). Jake Duxbury, who will be playing in his first ever Varsity match against Cambridge, elaborated on just how difficult it has been to prepare for a summer Varsity fixture: “Perhaps the toughest thing to overcome has been the heat! The intensity with which we train and play has meant that recovery times have been longer and injuries more frequent than normal. That being said, we’ve had a great term and everyone in the squad is coming into the match feeling sharp and refreshed.”

Both the men’s and women’s teams boast multiple individual accolades within their squads. Playing for the men’s Blues will be the recent Norwich City Academy graduate, Alfie Cicale, and a former Welsh Premier Division player and two-time USASA National Cup champion, Alexander Rickett. Playing in the women’s team, on the other hand, will be a Portugues Women’s U21 national team player and a player for the 2019 Academic All-American first team.

While players from both Blues teams surely follow a lot of football in their spare time, Madeleine Kowalenko, who will also be playing in her first ever Varsity for the Dark Blues, said that her sports role model is the tennis player Ash Barty. She added: “I love her wholistic approach to sport and the way she is so mentally strong. I think she is really consistent as a player but also brings some flare- I hope I can emulate that kind of play as a midfielder in football.” Jake Duxbury, on the other hand, talked about some of his stranger pre-match rituals: “I always carry around some ‘lucky’ pebbles in my kit bag that my girlfriend gave to me on holiday. I don’t necessarily get them out or look at them each game, but I know that they’re in there somewhere! I’m also very particular about the order in which I put on my kit – shorts, left sock, right sock, shirt at the very last moment before going out.” 

This year’s Varsity will be the first match played since the passing of OUAFC former “coach and friend of 20 years”, Mickey Lewis. Mickey Lewis coached the Oxford Dark Blues and Oxford United and Oxford City’s youth teams, while also leading the Velocity Football Programme. OUAFC stated that other than being “well-known for his brilliant coaching”, Mickey was better known for his “kind, generous, and funny character that made spending time with him the highlight of our week”. He was also “quite the specialist” when it came to playing Cambridge, only losing 3 Varsity matches inside 90 minutes. His legacy will be honoured with a minute’s applause before kick off, and a Blues blazer will be presented to his wife and to his son, who will also be joining the Blues as a mascot together with his Stonesfield Strikers U9s team. OUAFC recently played a memorial game against Stonesfield Strikers U9s team, conceding in the last minute of extra time to lose 13-12. There will also be a fixed tribute to Mickey placed at Iffley Road Sports Centre.  The club internally raised £15,000 for the Mickey Lewis Memorial Fund as part of a wider fundraising effort with local clubs Oxford City, Oxford UTD and Stonesfield. 

Should the men’s Blues win, it will be their 54th Varsity win over Cambridge’s 50 Varsity wins. If the women’s Blues win, they will close the gap to Cambridge’s 20 wins with a 13th win of their own. The squads for this year’s Varsity matches are: 

Women’s Blues: 

1- Emilia Halfpenny (Magdalen)

2- Isabella Wordsworth (Exeter)

4- Cadie Higginson (Brasenose)

5- Alice Nichols © (Exeter)

7- Alessandra David (Jesus)

8- Taiye Lawal (St Anne’s) 

10- Rani Wermes (Exeter)

11- Erin Robinson (Oriel)

12- Ellana Slade (Trinity)

13- Roza Bailey (Trinity)

14- Grace Molloy (St John’s)

15- Francisca Vasconcelos (Keble)

16- Daisy Connolly (St Catherine’s)

17- Hannah Bruce (St Hilda’s)

21- Iona Ffrench-Adam (St Peter’s)

22- Madeleine Kowalenko (St Catherine’s)

Men’s Blues: 

1- Harry Way (New)

2- Kaiyang Son (Merton)

3- Alex Rickett (Worcester)

4- Ben Putland © (Jesus)

5- Daniel Clifford (St Hilda’s)

6- Charlie Peters (Merton)

8- Ryan Clark (Lady Margaret Hall)

9- Jake Duxbury (Queen’s)

10- Fidan Suljik (Lincoln)

11- Alfie Cicale (Jesus)

12- Jeremy Ratcliff (Exeter)

14- Finlay Ryan-Phillips (St Catherine’s)

16- Joseph Hickey (Somerville)

17- Oscar Guy (Worcester)

23- Luke Smith (St Cross)

28- Chris Coveney (St Hilda’s)

Image courtesy of OUAFC

Oxford SU launch ‘It’s not enough’ campaign

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Oxford University’s Student Union has launched its ‘It’s not enough’ campaign, which aims to raise awareness about the longstanding silence on race equality and make the University and its colleges aware that what they have done for racial equality so far is not enough. 

Following Oriel College’s decision not to remove the statue of Cecil Rhodes due to the  “considerable obstacles to removal”, the campaign was launched on May 25, coinciding with the one-year anniversary of the murder of George Floyd. 

In light of Oriel’s decision, the SU released a statement which read: “We are disappointed to hear that Oriel’s Governing Body will not be removing the Rhodes statue due to the regulatory and financial challenges involved in the process. Dismantling systemic racism in Oxford is one of the greatest challenges this university community has faced, but we believe this is no excuse for inaction.”  

As part of the campaign, the SU is collecting responses to amplify student voices at Oxford. A form, which can be found on the SU website, asks students: “Why is what Oxford University has done so far on racial equality not enough?” The answers will be published as part of the campaign but students can remain anonymous if they wish. 

The campaign will also involve the release of infographics on the state of racial equality at Oxford, the sharing of student written articles on race, spotlighting student-led societies working for racial equality and the publishing of student quotes. 

Nikita Ma, President of Oxford SU, said: “There are many things Oxford can do better in terms of racial equality, not least removing the Rhodes statue which symbolises colonialism and racism. I am immensely grateful to all the students who have contributed their time and emotional energy to lead and support this campaign. We at Oxford SU will continue championing the student voice, and I strongly encourage you to spend less than a minute to fill out the form and make Oxford a more equal place for future generations of students to come.”  

The SU page also shows statistics relating to racial equality. These include the fact that 1/16 Pro Vice Chancellors at the University are BAME and details of the attainment gaps for BAME, Asian and black students. 

The foreword on the campaign’s page, written by Nikita Jain, Oriel JCR’s Ethnic Minorities Representative, reads: “As Oxford students, we can use our voice to let the University know that their current efforts are not enough. It is not enough to make empty promise after empty promise with no intention to deliver concrete change. It is not enough to ignore the testimonies of countless students who are made to feel like they don’t belong here. And it is most definitely not enough to retain a visual symbol of racism in the form of a statue of the white supremacist Cecil Rhodes on the front of Oriel College whilst maintaining a stance of anti-racism.” 

“The University has committed to reforms time and time again in order to improve the experiences of students whilst they are here, and these commitments are a step in the right direction. However, at the moment, all we have seen is words and not actions. The only way we can enact real change is by holding the University to account and by pushing them to do better, because right now, it’s not enough.” 

A spokesperson for the SU told Cherwell that the campaign hopes to highlight “the current problems of the University, as shown by some of the articles in the Student Voice section as well as the student submissions”. 

They added:  “Another important component we wanted to include is a section that aims to uplift and empower students of colour by sharing their work and also celebrating the diverse cultures that make up our student body, to make their voices and their cultures more visible.” 

Image Credit: Oxford SU

The Ugly Side of the Beautiful Game

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Football is often heralded as having the potential to bridge cultural and linguistic divides, bring people together as a community and act as a force for good in a number of ways. As one of the world’s most popular pass times and a multi-billion pound industry, football holds immense power and significance around the globe. But, away from the million-pound contracts and the screaming fans, football continues to be complicit in awful violations of human rights across the world.   

During recent World Cup 2022 qualifiers, players from a number of Men’s National Teams posed wearing shirts with various human rights slogans on them. The intention was to highlight the awful abuses of Human Rights that have taken place in the run-up to, and preparations for, the 2022 Qatar World Cup, making a public statement to the organisers and football’s governing bodies. Amnesty International has detailed a litany of examples of Human Rights abuse relating to what they term “the World Cup of Shame”, including forced labour, exploitation and negligence. Migrants rebuilding stadiums to be used in the tournament have been subject to “appalling living conditions”, violent threats and the confiscation of passports or ID, in order to entrap the workers. Outside of football, Qatar is an absolute monarchy, in which free speech and free assembly are criminalised

All of these disturbing details contrast with the financial gain that will be made by FIFA, football’s international governing body, and the Qatari organisers. Firms have been paid approximately $90 million to refurbish the Khalifa Stadium, whilst FIFA’s total revenue in 2014 (the year of the Brazil World Cup) amounted to $2 billion. This is in stark contrast with the average monthly salary of labourers at the Khalifa Stadium, of $220, notwithstanding the fact that a number of workers have reported having their pay delayed or withheld entirely. The Guardian calculated that 6,500 migrant workers have died in Qatar since it was awarded the World Cup in 2010 – an average of 12 people losing their lives a week. But yet, in spite of this sickening fact and the extensive catalogue of human rights abuses reported by various organisations, the 2022 World Cup will go ahead as planned. FIFA, the Qatari organisers and the corporations involved will face no penalties for the lives lost and abuses committed in the name of football. The dichotomy encapsulated by the situation in Qatar is embedded in football around the world: the flashy wealth and fame of football are built on abuse and suffering. Profit is increased at the cost of human lives. 

Qatar 2022 will not be the first time a World Cup has been mired in controversy over Human Rights. It will not be the first time that droves of fans from around the world will descend on a country, enjoying the beautiful game, while something far more sinister lurks below. The 2018 World Cup took place in Russia, just over a year after domestic violence legislation was amended to effectively decriminalise certain forms of abuse. Under the reforms, passed in February 2017, violence against a child or spouse causing bruising or bleeding was punishable by 15 days in prison or a fine equivalent to £380 if it did not happen more than once in a year. The dire state of LGBTQI+ continues to draw international condemnation, as members of the community are subject to communal, police and state violence. Concerns were also expressed that ethnic minority and LGBTQ+ football fans travelling from the UK to Russia for the tournament would be at risk of harassment and abuse. Yet, even as the Russian government stripped back the rights of women to be safe and free from abuse, even as it continued its violent campaign against LGBTQ+ communities, even as certain spectators were told they would face “heightened risks”, the tournament went ahead. FIFA made an estimated $6 billion from the 2018 Russia World Cup and the footballing world promptly moved on, with little thought given to the context, environment and cost of the tournament. Similar claims have been made with regards to Human Rights abuses connected to the 2014 Brazil World Cup and the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, before that.

A pattern emerges of football’s international leadership effectively ignoring appalling Human Rights abuses in the name of making profit and hosting an enjoyable tournament. FIFA claims that it “remains steadfast in its commitment to protect and promote human rights across football” and seeks to use the power of football to “make a wider positive impact in the lives of people around the world”. But, for at least the last three tournaments, Human Rights have been pushed aside and forsaken completely. Qatar 2022 and the shameful abuses linked to it are, it seems, nothing new. 

Such flagrant violations of Human Rights do not just happen internationally, but within a European and domestic context too. Manchester City was bought by Sheikh Mansour in 2008, who promised the sky blue side of Manchester investment, support and, as a result, success. City won the Premier League title only three years later, ushering in a trophy-laden period, which has seen the club become one of the most successful not just in England, but in Europe too. The cost at which this success has come at, has not been adequately interrogated. Only a year after purchasing Manchester City, Sheikh Mansour assumed office as Deputy Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates, a post he still holds today. As the son of the ruler of Abu Dhabi, also the first President of the United Arab Emirates, Sheikh Mansour came from a notable family and had already enjoyed a lengthy career in politics by the time he became embroiled in the footballing world. Along with Paris Saint Germain, which are owned by Sheikh Tamim bin Hamad al-Thani, the ruler of Dubai, Manchester City are a state-owned club, the only two in Europe and the footballing world.

Though Sheikh Mansour is celebrated and praised for the manner in which his lucrative investments transformed Manchester City’s fortunes so completely, his role at the heart of a government generally hostile to Human Rights is overlooked. From limits to free speech and women’s rights to the continued use of the death penalty, the current UAE government has committed a catalogue of Human Rights violations. As of 2020, 25 prisoners of conscience continued to remain in jail for peacefully dissenting against the government, whilst women continue to remain on unequal terms with men under Emirati law. Beyond this, democratic participation in government is severely limited and Freedom House, an international organisation, which seeks to promote democracy and liberty, officially considers the UAE “not free”. At the heart of this undemocratic, patriarchal regime is Sheikh Mansour who, as Deputy Prime Minister occupies a not insignificant position in government. 

As one of the few state-owned clubs in the world, Manchester City are funded and supported by this regime; the million pound signings that are splashed on newspaper front pages and the luxurious stadium and facilities, are all at least partially derived from this worrying state of affairs. The cost of City’s undeniable success of the past few years has been tacit endorsement of a regime that denies fundamental human rights. 

Perhaps most shockingly, there is a general failure to highlight and criticise these ongoing issues. A clear disconnect exists between football and the enjoyment of the game, and the suffering and pain upon which the game is built. FIFA, Manchester City and others distance themselves from Human Rights abuse and the ugly side of the beautiful game and yet do little to challenge ongoing abuses. The lucrative contracts, flashy football boots and even the flamboyant haircuts, distract us from what lurks beneath the surface and what football is truly built on.

A large part of the problem lies in acceptance. There has been an acceptance that this state of affairs exists and an unwillingness to challenge it. By voicing our opposition to FIFA’s collusion in Human Rights abuses or to Manchester City’s links with political repression, Human Rights will be forced back on the agenda. So far, they have slipped, been overlooked or even blatantly ignored. But for football to ever truly have any kind of international power, it cannot be complicit in abuse and suffering. The beautiful game cannot be built on a foundation of violence and brutality. 

Image Credit: mjtmail via Wikimedia/ License: CC-BY 2.0.

Another Brick in the Postgrad Wall

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Right now, as I come to the end of my MSt at Oxford, I have felt as if I’ve been in a sort of no man’s land. I had spent, like many others in master’s courses, most of the Christmas vacation researching, writing and applying for PhD/DPhil places, whilst also carrying on with work – not much of a break, I guess. Yet, as I sit here writing this piece, I have only just found out that my l luck just ran out, and I’ll have to take a gap year before embarking on another application process. 

The question mark since receiving my offers (for which I was incredibly grateful) has been daunting. It hangs over you in moments before going to sleep. I’m not someone who deals well with a lack of a future plan. But it’s exacerbated by the fact that I simply do not know how close I was to securing funding: two institutions informed me (Durham and Oxford) that I was not allocated funding; from the other one, it’s silence after receiving an offer. 

The system is also reliant on students having the means to take a year out; one receives more ‘points’ for a completed master’s degree rather than having one in progress. It does somewhat make sense on a financial viewpoint — funding bodies want to ensure that the money they commit goes to the top candidates — but it also socially discriminates against students from working class backgrounds. I am in a fortunate position where taking year out and moving back home would be an option; but in a subject as middle-class, home-counties, private school-background dominated as Classics, I know there are others for whom this is simply not an option — a lack of a safe home space, a necessity to support oneself. For a person in their position, the silence they receive could be even more distressing; you can find out at any point — today, tomorrow, or in mid-July — and then suddenly find yourself jettisoned into a thrilling academic career; or you could keep hoping for that one email or phone call, and it never comes. The mental health toll is sizeable. 

Some do say that ‘if you don’t hear back after a certain date, please assume you’re not receiving our funding’, as if it’s acceptable. It’s certainly not. I understand that these funding sites are greatly oversubscribed, but all it takes is a simple, respectful BCC send-to-all  because these systems can end up being delayed, especially during a pandemic with panels ending up meeting virtually rather than in-person. I’d much rather have my hopes crushed properly and politely rather than them withering out, several months later. 

There’s another health aspect at hand. You could spend another four, five hours a day applying for additional funding, sending emails doubtful of a response, and scouring the internet for what’s available. Again, that’s inherently discriminatory and ableist. I, as someone with a long-standing epilepsy condition, cannot risk staying up until 2 or 3am, night after night, in this scholastic espionage — I need my sleep! That means I’m definitively at a worse chance of securing funding — since I’m not able to spend the hours required online. It should be readily accessible, with clear guides.

Indeed, having spoken to a few professors and staff in the faculty, they aren’t even clear about how the system works — even though they’ve managed to receive funding. Yet, they also know the system needs to change, that master’s students should be able to progress to the next level without this secondment back home. This is a way is comforting yet troubling; for sure, they sympathise and may have endured the same journey as myself, but I’m not sure when this change will occur. 

That being said, I’m fortunate at least that some potential funding options may have, if I were (incredibly?) lucky, come my way. Yet, to even reach this step, I had to go via a master’s. Master’s funding is even harder to come by; as funding has been continually slashed from 2011 onwards — when the Arts and Humanities Research Council announced that they were cutting funded master’s courses from 607 to 490.  That’s not a lot. My course alone takes on 25 students, and there is a wide smorgasbord of potential arts and humanities courses at Oxford alone, from Latin American Studies to Film Aesthetics, all vying with hundreds of other UK institutions for these grants. Some institutions are trying to make these courses affordable; Durham, from where I (virtually) graduated in 2020, offers a 25% alumni discount on all its courses, which are significantly cheaper than those offered at Oxford (the price for my current course goes above the maximum loan threshold). Again, therefore — and this is a current theme on master’s discourse online —, it is restrictive to those who can affordto have family support or who balance with their either full-time or part-time master’s workload, impressively, with a part-time job.  

Is there hope for change in the humanities, as the current Government aims to marginalise arts and humanities degrees, despite the fact that the vast majority of the current cabinet graduated from such courses? It’s hard to say yes. But, a more open system, where funding options are clear, where rejection is forthcoming, would lead to fewer students congregating in the virtual halls of The Student Room, wondering what is going on amongst the (currently virtual) decision-making panels. 

Image credit: Billy Watson Photography / License: CC BY-NC

A question of consent: sexual assault in Oxford

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CW: Sexual Assault, violence, rape.

Some time ago, I went home with a Tinder date and in the middle of our sexual encounter, coming as a complete surprise to me, he choked me. We tend to refer to this action as choking, probably because calling it strangulation sounds so much more sinister. But it is strangulation, and it is dangerous. I have no intention of kink-shaming anyone – consenting adults can do what they like behind closed doors – but on this occasion, I was never given the opportunity to consent. At the time, I sort of shrugged it off as just one of those bad sexual encounters – the ones where you never said no, but you never said yes, either. Perhaps it wouldn’t haunt me at all if it weren’t for the wildly different reactions of two friends to the story, and my subsequent research through which I learned that strangulation is the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40, that victims can continue to suffer symptoms days and even weeks after the fact, and that people being strangled or ‘choked’ can lose consciousness in as little as four seconds which indicates at the least a mild brain injury. Then again, perhaps it would.

The first friend I told was a fellow woman, and I presented it as a somewhat funny anecdote about the perils of one-night-stands. Her response was first to ask if I was okay. Up until she asked, I hadn’t stopped to wonder if I was okay. It wasn’t exactly fun, but I hadn’t died, and I wasn’t sure that I had been assaulted – I had consented to everything else that happened. I relayed this to my friend, and she told me how sorry she was that I’d had the misfortune to match with this man, and assured me that he absolutely should have gotten consent before throttling me. I realised that if our positions were reversed I would be saying exactly the same things to her, which is when I started to think she might be right. 

The next person I told happened to be a male friend, and his response was very different. I mentioned the incident as an aside again, this time adding that it had made me nervous because it made me think that consent wasn’t important to this guy. The interaction that followed was essentially an interrogation. ‘Did you say no?’ ‘Did you actually feel threatened or was it just a kink you don’t like?’ ‘If you felt threatened why didn’t you leave straight after?’ Reading these questions, some people might be feeling some second-hand anger, some people are probably thinking they’re entirely valid. When initially reading them, I was angry, because I had just come from a conversation receiving nothing but sympathy and without being asked a single question about what had happened – without being doubted. After sleeping on it, I started to think they were completely valid questions. I started to doubt myself.

Some time ago, I went home with a Tinder date, and in between making out and going down on him, he put his hand around my throat and choked me. I’d never experienced this before, and I was scared. I didn’t know how to respond. Then suddenly his hand was gone and we were kissing again and I figured maybe it was a random one-off and he’d realised from my face that I didn’t enjoy it. Not that much later, while he was fucking my mouth, he choked me again, for a lot longer this time.

I remember telling myself not to panic, that he would surely let go soon like last time or orgasm and stop, all while wondering if I would die, if he knew enough to make sure I wouldn’t. This may sound melodramatic to people who are fans of a little breath play – but remember this was my first time having any form of constriction around my throat and I had met the man strangling me just a couple of hours before. Furthermore, I now know the only way to guarantee you don’t kill someone by choking them is not to choke them – people have died from just a few seconds of choking. There is no medically safe amount of time you can choke someone. Did he know that? The next little part of the evening is still blurry to me, but, at some point, he did let go and had his orgasm. I don’t remember what was going through my mind at that point – definitely some relief, and still some shock. I stayed a little longer, had a smoke with him, and then said I needed to get home. 

Where my female friend immediately empathised with the fear I felt, the fear that froze me in place, desperate not to escalate anything, my male friend didn’t understand how I could have felt threatened, felt my life in danger even, but not once said no and not immediately left once I was released. I told him it was pretty hard to say no when someone had either their hand around your throat or their penis inside it, but I knew that saying no hadn’t actually occurred to me. Or rather, it had occurred to me, but I had immediately dismissed it as a possibility because maybe he would stop, maybe he would even apologise – but maybe he wouldn’t stop. Maybe he would get angry. If I stayed quiet I could hope he would finish soon and let me go and didn’t mean me any harm, but if I told him to stop and he didn’t, then I was being attacked. To my male friend, this was an unfounded fear that wasn’t reflected in me staying for a smoke with the guy who assaulted me. To my female friend, this made perfect sense.

At the time, my male friend’s words prompted me to place a lot of blame on myself. If I didn’t tell this man to stop, how could he have known how uncomfortable he was making me? Since then, I have also been prompted to research this issue more and found out very quickly just how common non-consensual choking is. Two years ago, a study found that a third of UK women under the age of 40 have experienced unwanted choking, slapping, spitting or gagging during otherwise consensual sex. Though we commonly hear ‘fight or flight’ presented as the body’s only instinctive reactions to fear, there are several others, and ‘freezing’ is the most common response to incidences of sexual assault. Carine M. Mardorossian observed back in 2002 that “…only gendered crimes generate the kind of victim-blaming responses rape and domestic violence produce. Whereas forgetting to set the antiburglary alarm or getting robbed despite ‘the neighbourhood watch’ does not exculpate the thieves, getting raped always elicits an investigation into the ways in which a victim might ultimately have been responsible for what happened.” – and has anything really changed since then?

In 2018, a seventeen-year-old girl’s underwear was famously used as evidence against her in a rape trial – the man accused was ultimately acquitted. Perhaps the man I encountered couldn’t have known how much he scared me without me asking him to stop strangling me – but since when is strangulation such an integral part of sex that it doesn’t require specific consent from your partner? Porn consumption has been linked to the normalisation of what was previously considered more violent, unusual sexual practices but does this absolve the man I met? Maybe he meant me no harm. Maybe he thought choking was just a normal part of sexual intimacy. Does that make it my fault? Does that make it no one’s fault that I was subject to such violence and panic and fear? Why do we have this tendency to focus on what victims, usually women, were doing at the time? Because the reasons behind the man committing the act of sexual violence are understood. It’s as simple as that.

The male sexual appetite is understood and sympathised with, and far too normalised – rape and sexual assault should be an aberration. We should be studying serial rapists the same way we study serial killers. We should be considering one-time rapists the same way we consider one-time murderers. There are endless academic studies, interviews, novels and TV shows about the psyche and motivation of the murderer. There is nothing comparable with sexual predators. Our society permits, even encourages, men to focus on their own sexual gratification at the expense of their partner’s enjoyment, consent and safety.

It’s true that I never asked him to stop – but why did he start?

The Time-Travelling of Television

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TV shows can act as time capsules. Gossip Girl takes us back to the early 2010s, Friends acts as a souvenir of the 90s, and Peaky Blinders even transports us to the 1920s. These worlds are comforting and familiar; they make us feel in control. The characters in these shows become your friends – they are often more attractive than your friends and do more exciting things than your friends and have an inhuman capacity for devastating one-liners and comic timing that it is not humanly possible for your friends to possess. Yes, these shows are a little escapist, but right now a little escapism is no bad thing.

In a Back-to-the-Future-II-type-way, some period TV shows can take you back to two different eras – both to the era when they were made and the era when they are set. This is extremely useful for cross-generational appeal and profit margins – nostalgia is pretty powerful stuff. This type of time-travelling series is extremely popular, including shows such as Mad Men, and more recently Stranger Things and The Queen’s Gambit.

It is no secret that Mad Men does this kind of thing particularly well – depicting an advertising agency on Madison Avenue in the stylish but sexist era of the 1960s. The plot is rewardingly slow-burning, following creative director Don Draper (Jon Hamm) as he navigates the ups and downs of his complex personal and professional lives. The sets and costumes and soundtrack all feel excitingly authentic – watching the show is like seeing the 1960s through the critical lens of the twenty-first century.

Like Mad Men, Gossip Girl also acts as a time capsule for the era in which it was created. As a (somewhat guilty) fan of Gossip Girl for many years, I keep being drawn back to the cutely constructed capsule of twenty-first century life in Manhattan’s Upper East Side. The show is a fantasy-world of super-rich teenagers narrated by the blogger Gossip Girl, whose mysterious identity is pretty much the show’s MacGuffin. As a time capsule of the early twenty-first century, it is fair to say that Gossip Girl is hedonistically upper-class but still very good fun. The show embodies the nostalgic wish of some young people for the pre-smartphone life of the preceding generation – Gossip Girl cleverly parodies the possibilities of social media for Big-Brother-type surveillance. The sequel planned for release this year will reinvent the show in the 2020s with a new and more diverse cast, introducing a new generation to the high-octane lives of the Manhattan schoolkids.

Although lesser watched today than Gossip Girl, the cult show Twin Peaks is another example of the time capsule phenomenon. Because there are three seasons (two from the 90s and a third made in 2017) Twin Peaks reflects the idiosyncrasies of two very different eras. It is best, though confusingly, described as a kind of Lynchian small-town murder-mystery surrealist-horror. The plot hinges on the murder of Laura Palmer (Sheryl Lee), the investigation headed by FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and anyone who has watched it will agree that is seriously creepy and sweet and funny all at once. It’s genre-defining legacy is still apparent today – the contemporary series Stranger Things is very much indebted to Twin Peaks. As a time capsule it features a kind of 50s-inspired 90s aesthetic, with prodigious coffee-drinking, doughnut-and-cherry-pie-eating, as well as fir trees and owls and all other kinds of creepiness elevated by a beautifully eerie soundtrack. Travelling back in time to the world of Twin Peaks is like being in a dream you don’t want to wake up from.

All in all, these three series are only a small example of the time-capsule content available at the present moment. The truth is that travelling to different time periods might even give us a better awareness of the idiosyncrasies of our own era – an era which, for all its shortcomings, could well be the golden age of the television series as we know it, with more streaming platforms and content creators than ever before. It is difficult to tell which TV shows might be associated with the 2020s in the future. The popularity of the shows The Queen’s Gambit and Lupin might suggest that the reign of the white male protagonist in television series is finally over (think Peaky Blinders, Mad Men and Breaking Bad). No doubt this move in television to represent the narratives of people of different genders and ethnicities is a positive sign of the times in the 2020s, and evidence, at least, that we are moving in the right direction.

Image Credits: Matthew Paul Argall via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)

Review: “The Importance of Being Earnest” by Oscar Wilde//Trinity Players.

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As we sluggishly unlock, it is easy to speak of returning to the ‘magic’ of live theatre and other such clichés. But it’s not an exaggeration to say that I was blown away by the quality of the Trinity Player’s recent production of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. To briefly summarise, the play is one of miscommunication and misunderstanding, a farce in which two women find that they can only fall in love with people by the name of Ernest, having already been proposed to by men who are not in earnest when they profess that Ernest is there name. Too many earnests, but that’s kind of the point. Through the discovery of family secrets, journeys from the city to the country and a fair bit of ‘Bunburying,’ the situation is comically resolved.

I was lucky enough to have tickets to the 5th of June Saturday matinée performance. This was not due to my own foresight, but rather due to my friend’s obsession with procrastinating by seeking opportunities for future procrastination. Perhaps my opinions on the play were already flavoured by the weather of the day, which was gloriously sunny, though with a slight breeze which consistently managed to blow down the string quartet’s sheet music. Anyway, we arrived at the austere gates of Trinity college – wine in hand, sun-cream slathered – and made our way into the President’s Garden to the sound of string music, where the play was to be performed.

The set was minimal, limited to two tables and two chairs, with the string quartet off to the left. The audience was arranged in a semi-circular affair; a mishmash of tables, chairs and picnic blankets that seemed to pre-empt the messy plotlines of the play to come. Trinity College’s President’s Garden was far from empty, with tickets for all showings of the production being sold out.

As chapel bells tolled three o’clock, the garden gradually began to fill with the characters of Wilde’s play, adorned with vibrantly coloured costumes brilliantly designed by Chloe Dootson-Graube, also responsible for art.

And what a cast of characters it was. Eugenie Nevin and George Diggle returned characterful performances as the minor characters Miss Prism and Lane/Merriman respectively. The play’s explicitly comic characters of Dr Chasuble and Lady Bracknell were similarly performed with distinction. Lorcan Cudlip Cook’s bumbling, wizened Dr Chasuble, with his white hair and right-angled body posture, was particularly successful, with the affected quavering of his vocals drawing plenty of laughs from the audience. With a voice that overflowed with enough rolled Rs and brittle articulation to put any royal to shame, Gracie Oddie-James’ Lady Bracknell was a pleasure to watch, evoking the aura of the elderly aunt borrowed from nineteenth-century fiction without resorting to pantomime. Henry Calcutt’s performance as Jack Worthing (one of the two ‘Ernests’) abounded with energy, and the chemistry between him and Abi Watkinson’s Gwendolen Fairfax was thoroughly believable. Watkinson’s Gwendolen, with her carrot-coloured dress, was brilliant, embodying a stubbornness that played excellently against the gushing confusion of Calcutt’s Jack. Grace de Souza too embodied the young Cecily Cardew excellently, delivering lines with an innocence and naïve fantasy that fitted her character’s status as Jack Worthing’s ward. Yet, the standout performance of the show, for me at least, came from Cormac Diamond in the role of Algernon Moncrieff, the other ‘Ernest’ of the play. Perhaps it’s just his ginger shock of hair, but there was something Redmayne-like in the mixture of timidity and poise with which Diamond delivered his lines, always feeling comfortable in the heightened language of Wilde’s dialogue. The cast as an ensemble really were excellent, and all should be praised for the performances that they gave.

I really can’t praise what the directors Rosie Robinson and Costi Levy, alongside producer Daisy Gosal and assistant producer James Waterman, have done enough. Battling a tricky set of lockdown restrictions over both Hilary and Trinity term, the team have produced a fully realised in-person production, for which this weekend’s weather – it seems – rewarded them. Couched in the presidential gardens of Trinity college and coming amidst end of year exams for many, this play really does provide what its subtitle promises: ‘A Trivial Comedy for Serious People’. It’s the sort of production that would make even the most timid want to get involved in Oxford drama – and that’s in earnest.

Oxford University opening a vaccination centre for students

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Oxford University will operate a vaccination centre from Wednesday 23 June for undergraduate and taught postgraduate students who are yet to receive their first dose. All students, including postgraduate research students, will be able to receive a vaccine from the centre at the University Club on Mansfield Road from Monday 28 June.

The centre will open at 10am on its first day of operation, and will then be open from 9:30am to 8:30pm until Sunday 4 July. It will provide a walk-in service, with no need to book in advance.

Students are asked to wear a face covering, and bring their university card with them. If students are experiencing symptoms of COVID-19, they must not attend. Although students will not be turned away if they don’t know their NHS number, they are advised to find it via the NHS lookup service before they arrive.

The centre will administer 240 vaccines a day. Students are advised to check of Oxford Students Twitter feed for the availability of vaccines before they set off.

In an email to students where the vaccine centre was unveiled, the University reiterated the importance of limiting the spread of the virus at the end of term. 13 positive PCR tests were recorded by the testing service between 14-18 June. The email also reminded students to take two lateral flow tests a week, and take a test before attending social events.

Further information on getting vaccinated can be found on the student health pages, including information for UK and international students who may need to get their second dose at another centre. Further information on the vaccine centre can be found here.

Image: Toa Heftiba via unsplash.com

The price of Citizenship: The inherent britishness of bureaucracy

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January 19th and I’m standing outside Lambeth Town Hall in Brixton. It’s pouring with rain on us as we’re queuing outside, waiting to go in. I check I have all I need, trying not to get my documents wet. I need my Romanian passport and my invitation to the ceremony. It’s the Citizenship Ceremony, where we will swear oaths to declare our loyalty to the Queen and all her heirs to the throne. We also swear we’ll be good, lawful citizens, but my impression is that there is less emphasis on that part. We go in, and although there’s less pomp and ceremony owing to the pandemic, we do our oaths, listen to the anthem and shake hands with the Mayor of Lambeth. I am now a citizen of the United Kingdom. Or at least that’s how it was supposed to go.

In reality, this ceremony was digital. They announced this change from an in-person affair only a few days before, as the winter coronavirus surge was still going strong at that time. Even so, my citizenship saga came to a happy end. Anyhow, I’m not sure shaking hands with the Lambeth Mayor was such an occasion. I was not even aware my London Borough had its own ceremonial Mayor. Several months later, there is a British Passport in my hands. It’s blue and it’s my own. What has been a very long journey has come to an end. It’s been well over a year since I’ve started the process of becoming a British Citizen, and the total cost has been some two thousand pounds. But the price of citizenship is not just time and money – it’s submitting yourself to a strange and tiring process, the saga of immigration bureaucracy wearing you out. Along the way I’ve also learned several things about the British government and how it treats prospective citizens – I’ve also learned very few people here at Oxford seem to know anything at all about it.

There was once a time when our greatest worry was not a killer virus. During my first term at Oxford, the focus was on the 2019 General Election. A typical conversation involved being asked who I would vote for, explaining that I’m not a citizen and what followed was usually shock that I was not a member of the electorate after living in Britain for ten years. At the time I found it quite strange that the UK’s academic cream of the crop would seemingly be so unaware of what is a reality for millions of people in this country. According to a House of Commons Library report on migration statistics, in December 2019 some 9% of the UK population was recorded as having a different non-British nationality. In other words, out of a 9.5 million born-abroad population, 6.2 million were non-citizens, a group I belonged to until recently. Voting in local elections is generally allowed, but general elections not so much. For a general election, along with age and other requirements, you must be a British or Irish citizen. A common theme in 2019 was then: ‘Oh, but you’ve lived here so long you might as well be a citizen!’. But it doesn’t quite work that way. If part of the Labour Manifesto in 2019 was allowing residency rather than citizenship-based voting, the story is currently and has been for a long time,t very different. Who could apply to become a citizen, and who can actually carry it out is under very strict controls with a wide array of obstacles to go through. The reality is that millions are left without a direct say into a government whose policies have a pervasive effect on their lives. From dictating the rights to work, access to social services, designing the process around visas and acquiring an indefinite leave-to-remain, and even the potential looming threat of deportation; representation in such matters is a more fickle process. And ultimately more slippery than that is acquiring British citizenship. Considering this university produces so much of Britain’s elite, I thought it would be worthwhile to try and inform Oxonians of what it takes.

In December 2019, the number of EU nationals in the UK was estimated to be around 3.7 million, however by December 2020, there were nearly 5 million applicants to the EU Settlement Scheme, which shows the European population has been underestimated. I bring this up, because it is with the Settlement scheme that my citizenship process began, and indeed a process quite different for non-citizens with origins from elsewhere. Ever since the Brexit referendum in 2016, European migration to Britain has slowed down, and many have returned to Europe. I cannot speak for immigrants everywhere, but an enduring sense of anxiety looming in the back of my mind has been fears of a recalcitrant government revoking residency rights. What would follow would entail deportation to a country I feel rather distant from and would struggle to adjust to. A sense of dread set in on that fateful morning on June 24th 2016 as I heard the results and then set off to school to finish my GCSEs, which felt like an omen. At that point I had been living in the UK some six years, and to be sent packing would have felt like being uprooted. But this fear was alleviated when news of the Settlement Scheme came out – ‘settled status’, or an indefinite leave to remain, would be available for application providing a continuous proof of residency for at least five years could be established. My family’s application in thist was quite straightforward – filled with delays and complicated online forms, but straightforward. The scheme has been criticised in its own right, from lacking a physical certificate to prove a settled status, which produces its own problems at the borders. As part of possessing settled status, application for citizenship becomes legible for those who meet the five-year residency requirement. From there a whole other host of other conditions, tests and bureaucratic hurdles lie in the way.

According to the Home Office website, in the statistical year ending March 2020, here were 165,693 applications for British citizenship, with a marked increase in the proportion of European citizens applying at 27%, compared to 12% in 2016. It seems that Brexit served this push for citizenship, for those thousands as much as for my family. Although my actual application was submitted in August 2020, I had decided the previous summer, falling into the previous statistical year, and for good reason. Out of those 165,693 applications, 163,624 were granted. This seems a high proportion, but it’s important to give good consideration to your likelihood to succeed, because the hoops to jump through are many. In the end, my family decided only I should apply. In terms of money, this was already a high cost- for my parents to do as well would have been collectively very expensive for us. For many, the price of citizenship is prohibitively expensive. Since 2018, the naturalisation fee for adults has been £1,330. By comparison, in 2007 when Romania joined the EU, the fee was £655. Of course, this is only for the application itself – other fees, such as for booking the various exams and so on are not included, and the overall cost turns out much higher by the end. This is further aggravated by the fact that an unsuccessful application, including the costs, is thrown out the window. Re-applying carries the same price, to appeal the decision carries its own fees. Even the ceremony where monarchism is imposed upon you carries such a penalty. If you miss it, it may be re-booked, but otherwise without completing it your application is overturned – and there is a deadline to go through with it, typically three months in virus-free times. This points to a common theme already, of the hostility towards the wider groups of people not born here. And particularly, towards those lacking the thousands to spare or those filling the ranks of lower-income ‘essential workers’, which have been given so much lip-service during the pandemic. Telling a friend of the difficulties in applying, they remarked quite funnily that those migrants in occupations the economy would most require would find it very difficult to become citizens, as opposed to an Oxford undergrad like me. Reflecting on it, I find that the point is the government is happy enough to have them exploited for their labour, not to give them the vote.

Nevertheless, my journey began around autumn 2019, just before university began. One of the perks of a blue passport is not having to provide proof for your continuous residency in the UK for everything. From UCAS to other applications, I was a common fixture at my secondary school’s reception to ask for letters confirming that I had in fact been attending the school the whole of my secondary education, which fell in quite neatly with the usual five-year requirement. This is one of the requirements for naturalisation, assuming the application follows settled status. For an indefinite leave to remain granted to those from outside the EU, many of the requirements for such follow the same as for a citizenship application, with the addition that following the granting of the leave they continue to reside for a year before applying to become full-fledged citizens. I too, had to wait at least a year following my settlement under the EU scheme, but for the citizenship application I had yet again to prove my continuous residency. A letter from school could only provide for four of those years, so I had to get a letter from my College showing my years of attendance here. When I submitted my application in August 2020, I was told it could take up to six months to process it. Mine was processed within a few weeks, although my invitation to a ceremony took longer due to renewed lockdowns. I could not help but feel my being a student here helped in this – I can’t imagine many applicants come with letters from Oxford. At this moment of it being accepted, I could not help but feel that despite the costs and stress of the whole process, mine was still from a position of relative comfort. And looking back on all the other stages, I started to recognise this as well. 

An episode where I recognised this well was during the famous Life in the UK Test, coming with its own £50 fee for what is a very odd questionnaire. Announced in 2002 and introduced for naturalisation and eventually settlement in 2005 and 2007 respectively, the test is a very strange beast. It’s been constantly criticised again and again the newspapers as being factually incorrect, not actually providing any incentive for learning, containing questions on knowledge the average Brit would not know about, or just being plain ambiguous on the meanings of Britishness. The test is based off information in an official booklet, which is a jumble of various things from history, to cultural events, Olympics gold medallists, or the UK’s different nations structure. The questions are primarily British history, and by ‘British’ the focus is obviously on England, which meant that as a History student I found it very easy and no trouble at all, which I doubt many of the other applicants could relate to when there are such questions as who was declared Lord Protector, or just very outdated British culture such as who directed The 39 Steps. I doubt the next person on the street is well acquainted with the 1930s catalogue of Hitchcock films. But I could not help but find the history section fascinating in the narratives it created and the image of Britain it pushed onto prospective citizens that must learn the booklet inside out, people which probably lack much complex history education unlike snotty Oxford students. 

The booklet has gone through three revisions since its introduction, but it seems that regardless of whether Labour or Conservatives are in charge, there is little room for a nuanced look on Britain’s history, and even less room for its unsavoury aspects bar the occasional acknowledgement here and there. In a political atmosphere where the National Trust daring to inform visitors to country houses with historical links to Atlantic slavery causes a culture war and major backlash, Chapter Three, ‘A long and illustrious history’, fits in very well. Ireland is mentioned here and there, with some unfortunate rebellions and potato crops failing, the Ulster Plantation being glossed over, and no mention of illustrious England desolating the island in the Tudor and Stuart periods and causing famines – no mention of the laissez faire approach to famine relief during the Irish famine and maintaining grain exports from Ireland while millions hungered. Empire is treated much the same. The Boer War in South Africa gets mentioned, but for all the mentions of industrial innovations during the Victorian period, there are no references to Britain’s illustrious innovation in being the first to deploy concentration camps in the modern sense in the same war. Discussing the slave trade fares better, but the focus is on its eventual abolition from 1807 to 1833, with no mention of the plantation owners receiving major reparations for the “cost” of emancipation. Inventions, kings and queens and Empire nostalgia occupy the history section, making a clumsy but clearly triumphalist and glossy narrative with mentions of an atrocity here and there, those mentions muted enough to imply unfortunate accidents which British prowess can always overcome and otherwise don’t stain this illustrious story. I can’t help but wonder if future editions will just sing the Empire’s praise without any self-restraint at all. For historians, writing history is complicated stuff; for the government it isn’t.

An equally expensive but more amusing episode was proving I knew English. The requirement seems reasonable, but the conditions seem like another occasion for prospective citizens to be fleeced for their money. GCSEs and A Levels don’t count, and only a completed degree is proof. Instead, a certificate is required, a certificate acquired through a £65 speaking and listening exam which consists of a five minute chat with the examiner. You pick in advance what topic you would like to discuss, and deciding to liven up these bored bureaucrats’ conversations, I decided to speak about Oxford. The examiner was very surprised indeed and towards the end of those five minutes, she asked why I was having to do this test. I replied quite simply ‘Bureaucracy’. What else?

The most difficult episode in this saga was the naturalisation referees, where luck saved the day. A legal website I browsed at the time made note that the requirement for two referees seems more like being induced into a country club than the process for citizenship. Signing some forms and potentially being called by the Home Office, the referees must be British Citizens in an approved list of professions. That same website noted that this is usually the point of struggle for most applicants – the profession list. From teachers and doctors to CEOs and even MPs, the list is obviously exclusive for the professional, middle and upper-class sort. Essentially, I got lucky – one of my old teachers at school agreed to referee for me, while I discovered one of my friends’ parent fit the bill. They happily refereed for me, but it felt quite denigrating in having to bother them so they could confirm I would be a good citizen and not a terrorist. But otherwise, I would have been left in the dust, as are many with no personal acquaintance with anyone in these professions. And the point is clear in its favouring of those with connections and those with very high incomes. The citizenship process is designed to be as prohibitive as possible, to discourage and block as many applicants as possible. I can only see it as a wider extension of the Hostile Environment policy, which despite its stated aim of targeting those without leave to remain, denigrates and abuses all those with migrant origins, as the Windrush scandal has shown again and again.

As I finished my Life in the UK test, I was preparing to leave the examination hall. At the doorway I stopped and looked back around for a moment. I had finished in around ten minutes, while the other applicants were still going at it. Many were middle-aged and the only thing we seemed to have in common as we registered earlier was thick accents. I looked around and wondered what their occupations were, what were they doing with life as they lived here in Britain. And I left wondering why it was necessary they should know about Henry VIII’s wives. Would they not be worthy citizens otherwise?

Artwork by Rachel Jung