Friday 13th June 2025
Blog Page 1074

Clunch Review: Magdalen

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Whilst gobbling down my food in the imposing surroundings of Magdalen Hall, I have a moment of sudden revelation. My arse may well be touching the most expensive thing it has, or perhaps as an arts student, will ever be in contact with. At £999 per chair, I think it’s a little impolite to try and snaffle one into my rucksack, although the challenge does prove enticing.

After three years at Oxford, sneaking out college water bottles and other crested miscellaneous merchandise has become child’s play, a second nature. Magdalen may be rich, but I think even they would object to losing one of their snazzy new chairs supposedly made for the ages, no matter how much it would complement my coffee table.

The food, however, was palatable. I’m told that coming on a Tuesday is the best shout. Magdalen’s Tuesday ‘international’ lunch is supposed to be the best the College can offer. I’m still not sure what cod plaki is, even after eating it, but it was tasty. It was light and fresh, but had that famed college flavouring known all around Oxford of ‘misc. spices’. I’m not quite sure what was Greek about it other than the label.

Magdalen operates a sort of main pick and mix, somewhat gloriously called ‘the special’. Alright, we get it, you have a tower and more cloisters than you can shake a stick at – you don’t have to stand out any more. The special option did mean I could also get to taste what once was a pepper, and was now a dry husk with some overbaked cous cous and cheese. I wish I hadn’t, no matter how cheap their food is.

The meal’s saving grace was by far the roast potatoes. Having watched endless batches swirl in grease before being plonked half-cooked onto my plate in various other colleges, these were manna to me after roastie deprivation. A certain editor piled them so high on his plate even the sin of his greasy moussaka was completely hidden. Magdalen’s food was nothing like the tempting bites of fine clunches past, recorded aeons ago in their grand food diary pretentiously on display at the end of the hall. But it was alright. 

Zizzi’s: the sad epitome of average

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It was for a birthday party that I found myself in Zizzi’s this weekend. I haven’t set foot inside since my ex-boyfriend and I had a relatively irritating argument about the benefits of chain Italian food; as a student of Italian, he was left rather disappointed by (even!) Jamie’s.

I argued the proposition, so to speak: the democratisation of foreign food through cheap chain Italianate restaurants is a good thing. On next returning to one, I found that I had become just as snobby about them, left limp at the prospect of watery spaghetti and salmon in carbonara.

In any case, fast-forwarding about a year, I receive a message notification in which I, along with 20 people, am invited to Zizzi’s for a meal. To simplify things, we have been given a pre-booking system. At least, that was the theory. I must have attempted to pre-order my food about 25 times, but alas, the partyplanner received no notifications. I arrived rather bemused by the whole experience, but determined that a restaurant’s pre-planning failure would not deter me.

The party, a Quorn-sausage fest, was filled with vegetarians who all seemed to order the enormous and, dare I say, delicious-looking ‘Primavera Rustica’ pizza. When about 16 of these emerged all at once from the kitchen, there was plenty of waiter-based confusion, and I could not help but wonder why there seemed to be so few options for vegetarians on the menu. Props to Zizzi’s, however, that they easily managed to cater for a gluten-free vegan.

The meals came quickly. For a party so large, this was impressive – no less so when one considers that we were certainly not the only party. Despite their disastrous mealbooking system, it seems Zizzi’s is popular with parties. Given their speedy and very helpful serving staff, I am not surprised and if you are having a party in Oxford, I would recommend it.

However, the food is decidedly disappointing. My nduja pizza, the spiciest I could find on their menu, required plenty of chilli oil in order to make its flavour really stand out. The chilli jam blobs on top equally seemed to lack flavour. The cheese was nice, if rather sparsely sprinkled, whilst the base was in dire need of some salt. Essentially, the whole thing was a good attempt poorly executed.

Through gritted teeth, I have to agree with my ex-boyfriend: these chains, whilst they provide a great service in our restaurant-obsessed culture, are hardly inspiring. Perhaps lacklustre summed up my feelings as I left

Profile: Katie Hopkins

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It doesn’t take much to shake up the stuffy main chamber of the Oxford Union during a debate. Katie Hopkins chose a unique way to start her speech – she insulted almost everybody in the room, including Stuart Webber, the Union President.

Just mere metres away from Hopkins’ bounding spectacle, attendees – both newcomers and seasoned hacks – had sheer surprise in their eyes: everybody knows Katie Hopkins is one of the more unconventional speakers the Union has hosted, but nobody expected Hopkins’ crudity in such abundance.

It isn’t clear whether Hopkins knows just how far she violated the formalities and the etiquette of the Union. During the first proposition speech, by Standing Committee member Fran Varley, Hopkins stood up and walked across the chamber to pour Varley a glass of water – a friendly move, but nonetheless unexpected. Hopkins then took it to the next level: when frequent speaker Brian Wong rose during the floor speeches, Hopkins walked over to the Secretary’s bell and repeatedly rang it until Wong sat back down. Her speech seemed ad hoc, and she regularly stopped to take points of intervention – only to refuse such an intervention to Wong on account of his scruffiness.

“It’s important to try to lift the room. I like it when students feel like they’re involved. I didn’t see that during [Varley’s speech] and for me it’s much better if we’re having a debate rather than being talked at by people with scripts. I really don’t see the joy in that. When everyone’s up, it’s fun in the room and there’s a real atmosphere – that’s what I was trying to do.”

The motion – on the belief that positive discrimination is the best solution to an unequal society – was denounced as nonsensical in her very first sentence on the floor. For Hopkins, however, the crux of the motion was in the phrase ‘unequal society,’ and the very notion that such a thing needed a solution. Positive discrimination in itself was not a bad thing, but the desire to correct inequality was anathema to the core principles by which she lives her life.

With a fundamental world view as simple as ‘life is not fair,’ Hopkins certainly seems the archetypal middle England conservative. Born into a middle class family in Devon, Hopkins went to a private convent school and followed this by studying Economics at the University of Exeter. She applied to Oxford, but was turned down.

“I didn’t get in here,” she says. “My school actively put me off applying. I got through the exam, got to interview and then didn’t get in. I wasn’t good enough, and that’s absolutely fine. I saw what you needed to be good enough and it wasn’t me. I accepted that and it taught me a massive lesson: suck it up. Massive, hard, brutal honesty – that’s how I live my life.”

The problem with the modern world, according to Katie Hopkins, is just that – a lack of brutal honesty. The questions of equity and fairness which dominate news reporting of Oxbridge are met with a surreal rebuttal; the typically Hopkins-esque proclamation of her love for elitism, and her worry that not enough is being done to protect the elite nature of Oxford and Cambridge.

“I don’t have a problem that this is a completely elite institution; I think really that we should be protective of elitism. When people started talking about grammar schools having a certain percentage of free school meals, or Oscars having a certain percentage of black nominees or this university having at least 75 per cent of students from state schools, I just think – what’s all that about? The Oscars are for excellence, not for which black actor was the nicest and has an angry wife called Jada. Same with grammar schools and the Russell Group – it’s about differentiating yourself.”

Hopkins seems to be aware of the implications of the under-representation of minority groups. Given her belief in strict admissions standards at places like Oxford, the underrepresentation of groups such as black and minority ethnicity students would imply, in the absence of positive discrimination, that either the criteria are racist or the students simply are not as smart as the majority group. Without going so far as to explicitly claim the latter, Hopkins seems to implicitly reject the former, describing the system used to select Oscar nominees as “fairly equitable”. Though typically 12 per cent of Oscar nominees are African-American, which is broadly representative of the United States as a whole, the Academy Awards significantly under-represents Asian-Americans and Hispanic Americans, with just three per cent of nominations going to Hispanic Americans despite the fact that they make up 16 per cent of the population. When challenged on this, however, Hopkins dodges the point, retreating to her preferred question of how she believes minorities subjected to discrimination should behave.

“Black actors and those passed over should have this brilliant attitude that ‘I did great at the box office, screw the Oscars.’ You shouldn’t sulk just because you didn’t get nominated. That’s what I’d tell my children not to do. They should take it like a man. For me it’s just really important that we maintain standards. If Oscar winners were 50 per cent black, they wouldn’t really have won – you would just have screwed up the Oscars.”

Hopkins is particularly worried about the debate in Oxford over free speech. When the radical Islamist preacher Anjem Choudary was invited to the Oxford Union in Trinity last year, Hopkins described the protests as giving her “a bit of a sad-on”. A frequent defender of free speech – without it she would be out of a career – Hopkins described noplatforming as “dangerous”. Returning to her inability to feel offence, Hopkins praised the students at Brunel University who, late last year, walked out on her just before she started speaking.

“I quite admired them. I wasn’t offended, because I quite liked the idea that they didn’t no-platform, they just chose not to listen. Admittedly they chose not to listen in a kind of crap way, even when I gave them the opportunity later on Radio Five to respond, but at least they didn’t no-platform.

“I suppose if I came out as trans or a lesbian, I would do a lot better with free speech. It was really interesting in Cologne, there was a vacuum of sorts at The Guardian. On the one hand there was The Guardian’s ‘feminism, never blame the rape victim’ circle and the on the other there was ‘always support migrants, migrants are brilliant, I love an inflatable,’ and the two circles could not make a Venn diagram. So they just couldn’t write about Cologne, it really hit the spot.”

Hopkins likes to see herself as a “conduit for truth” and as a lone voice in the media railing against the smug, metropolitan elite. According to Hopkins, she doesn’t “court controversy”, as her critics often have claimed. Rather, she bills herself as “telling it how it is.” Showing no regard for sensitivity, she has called migrants “cockroaches”, describing refugees from Iraq and Syria as “spreading like the norovirus”. The Cologne sex attacks, in which more than 1,500 sexual assaults were reported in seven sites across Germany, were an indictment of a flawed liberal attitude to migrants.

The Guardian’s “vacuum” of reporting reflects her stated perception of an incompatibility between liberal attempts to prevent Islamophobia (Hopkins has been accused of Islamophobia) and the liberal defence of women’s and minority rights. The fact that Hopkins does not support The Guardian and liberal line on either of these points was irrelevant.

Hopkins appeared at the Union debate as an imposing yet ultimately comedic figure: somebody who in private took her public persona with more than few pinches of salt. In her glittery dress and guffawing tone, it’s very clear that Hopkins could be one of the friendliest people in the world.

Despite herself, Hopkins is, admittedly, capable of being funny, entertaining and captivating. She defines herself in terms of her personal mission – to tell it how it is – and there’s no easy way of stopping her any time soon 

Junior doctors strike in Oxford

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Oxfordshire junior doctors protested on Wednesday outside the Museum of History of Science and the John Radcliff e hospital in protest against proposed government plans.

More than 100 junior doctors congregated in front of the John Radcliff e Hospital and the Museum of the History of Science as part of the 24-hour industrial action. The group were heard chanting, “No more lies, no more spin, we won’t back down, we won’t give in”.

The current industrial action is centred on Jeremy Hunt’s proposals to re-contract junior doctors, which the British Medical Association insists would stretch resources too thinly across the NHS, making for unsafe conditions for both staff and patients.

Nadia Randazzo, Vice-Chairwoman of the British Medical Association’s Oxfordshire junior doctors committee, commented, “We are really angry and upset that the Government continues to threaten to impose the contract on us. It is bullying tactics.”

Tim Foster, a St John’s first year, expressed sympathy with those on strike, telling Cherwell, “I hope this issue can be resolved satisfactorily soon, as in the meantime, everyone stands to suff er. Until our society begins to pay doctors what they deserve, tensions between the NHS, the Unions and the Government will continue to grow.”

Puppy therapy for ‘fifth week blues’

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The Oxford Law Society is hosting a “Puppy Party” Thursday between 10am and 4pm at St. Giles’ Church “to help overcome Fifth Week blues!’’

Oxford Law Society plans to allow over 300 members to spend time with dogs from Guide Dogs UK, and, according to their Facebook event page, will ‘’let members come and spend time with puppies around what can be a very stressful time in the academic calendar’’. Entry will be free, but exclusively for members of Oxford LawSoc.

Nick Wood, President of the Oxford Law Society, told Cherwell, “Our main reason for running the Puppy Party is to promote better welfare in Oxford. We are holding the event in the 5th week of term to help improve students’ welfare and counteract Fifth Week blues.”

On the topic of mental health in Oxford, Wood told Cherwell, “it’s a particular problem in Oxford given the University’s stretched mental health resources. It’s not acceptable that the average waiting period for an appointment at the University Counselling Service is 7.5 days’’.

“This Hilary we wanted to go further. The Oxford Law Society wants to play a part in helping students through the term by creating an event where they can relax and de-stress.”

Wood hopes that by giving 300 members the opportunity to play with Guide Dogs UK’s puppies, LawSoc can help its members “and make their 5th weeks a little bit brighter”.

Alasdair Lennon, OUSU VP for Welfare and Equal Opportunities, said, “I’m very glad to see that Law Soc are hosting this event, supporting a local charity, and bringing a bit of joy to students in Fifth Week. We should also use this as an opportunity to remind ourselves that maintaining good mental health and managing stress requires a bit of work. “Sleeping and eating well are two of the most important things we can do, but I also think that we should take time to treat ourselves, play with puppies, and relax with friends. “

Oxford twentieth for student sugar babies

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Seekingarrangement.com has revealed that Oxford University had the 20th highest number of students sign up to be ‘sugar babies’ last year, well-behind behind its rival, Cambridge.

In its annual study of university sugar babies, the world’s largest ‘sugar daddy’ dating site revealed that 71 Oxford students had signed up in comparison to 207 from Cambridge University.In total, nearly two million students are seeking benefactors in the form of ‘sugar daddies’ and ‘mommies’ to financially support their university education, according to the study.

The site confirmed that 136 Oxford students are registered with them, whilst there are 704 at Cambridge and as many as 724 at Kent University. They have seen a 109 per cent increase in Oxford students registering on their site from the previous year and a 40 per cent over all in sign ups across UK Universities. The site helps to match wealthy benefactors “seeking mutually beneficial relationships” with “attractive” members and come to a variety of “arrangements”, ranging from dinner and conversations to sexual liaisons in return for cash and gifts.

“The French had courtesans,” the website states. “The Japanese had geishas. And in today’s society, we now have sugar babies.”

The average ‘sugar baby’ allowance is £2,000. On average, members put 36 per cent of this towards tuition, 23 per cent towards rent and 20 per cent towards books, with clothes and transport revealing much lower percentages of five and nine per cent respectively, the site disclosed. Last year, SeekingArrangement.com found that only 20 per cent of relationships started on the site were not sexual.

The group commented , “Oxford may be one of the cheapest cities for student accommodation, but the University of Oxford is one of the most expensive in the nation. Many students have found an alternative route to pay for university and associated costs by turning to SeekingArrangement to find sugar daddies and mommies.”

“Perhaps one of the most alluring benefits of pursuing sugar daddies, aside from financial stability, is the mentorship and opportunities from dating someone who is of a higher social and economic standing. Most students hear about SeekingArrangement, and this lifestyle from other students who have used it”

“This is not part-time work, or any type of work for that matter. Arrangements are relationships, albeit constructed differently than traditional relationships.”

“Financial reasons aside. The society we live in has changed, and there is interest in alternative relationship models. Arrangements are a modern take on relationships with traditional values.”

“Women are unfairly labelled ‘gold diggers’ if they are vocal about wanting a successful partner. The up-front nature of arrangements, being able to lay out exactly the type of person and relationship you want, without fear of judgement or stigma from potential partners’ is empowering. If men are allowed to vocalise what qualities they want in a partner, say being educated and beautiful, then women should be encouraged to do the same for whichever qualities they value.”

SeekingArrangement.com offers free premium memberships to students that register with their university email address or if they show proof of their enrolment. Premium accounts allow students to feature on the site, “increasing their visibility and chances of securing an arrangement” to “sugar daddies and mommies”.

The site currently boasts over 5 million members and was founded by MIT graduate and online-dating expert, Brandon Wade. Members can join for free.

Natasha Gibbs, an undergraduate at Merton, commented, “Relying on these older men, or women, seems to undermine the independence that these students are trying to achieve by pursuing higher education, and the figures are worryingly high in some universities. That said, it is sad that so many young women feel that they have no choice but to turn to such measures in order to pay for their degrees, and perhaps the level of financial support available to students who are struggling with money needs to be addressed.”

Jack Harrison, a second year at Pembroke, said, “The nature of tuition fee increases, combined with the intense nature of Oxford times makes it hardly surprising that students are feeling the need to potentially compromise themselves out of a necessity to pay their way.”

But one ‘sugar baby’ from Cambridge said, “I feel such an arrangement gives me a freedom”, with another noting “it’s an easy, convenient way to support myself.”

 Oxford University declined to comment.

LMH flirts with the famous

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Lady Margaret Hall has welcomed 11 new visiting fellows including actors Emma Watson and Benedict Cumberbatch and Pet Shop Boys singer Neil Tennant.

The appointments were announced in an online statement by Alan Rusbridger, Principal of LMH. Rusbridger wrote, “Today we welcome 11 new visiting fellows to Lady Margaret Hall. They are people drawn from a variety of backgrounds, callings and professions and we want them to form a bridge between our own academic community and the worlds they inhabit and represent.”

Other appointments include the author and former children’s laureate Malorie Blackman; Beeban Kidron, known for her role as director of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason; the chief constable of Thames Valley police, Francis Habgood; High Court judge Rabinder Singh and clarinetist and winner of the BBC Young Musician of the Year award in 2006, Mark Simpson.

A provisional list of visiting fellows was constructed by Lady Margaret Hall’s governing body, and was then narrowed down by a smaller committee. Only one of the appointments that the College proposed turned the position down. The visiting fellows are appointed for a term of three years.

Rusbridger, himself a former editor of The Guardian who took up his post at LMH in September 2015, stated, “We hope they will occasionally come and eat at College as well as tutors, alumni, students and support staff . One or two have already come up with other ideas for how they might use their relationship with LMH to develop other projects and thinking.”

Rusbridger, in a post on his blog, mentioned that the appointment of non-academic visiting fellows in Oxford was originally the idea of Lord Nuffield, who invited people from a variety of backgrounds to his college. Rusbridger commented, “Alongside the students and tutors [visiting Nuffield] there would be bishops, bankers, spies, journalists and economists. Lord Nuffield, it seemed to me, was on to something: this was a way of enriching the life of a college and its students, and of blowing oxygen through the corridors.”

This is not the first time celebrities have walked the corridors of Oxford colleges: the Cameron Mackintosh visiting professorship at St Catz has been filled by personalities such as Stephen Fry, Patrick Stewart and Diana Rigg. Rusbridger, indeed, celebrated the non-academic nature of the appointments, stating, “The obvious thing to note is that – deliberately – only one is an academic. “The College already has many very distinguished honorary fellows, most of whom have had notable careers of scholarship.”

“Our visiting fellows bring a different kind of experience. They have all, in their different ways, achieved great distinction in their chosen fields, professions or calling. LMH is already a deeply interesting place. “It just got even more interesting.”

St Hilda’s JCR tries to prevent ‘Prevent’

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St Hilda’s College JCR passed a motion seeking to “boycott Prevent” earlier this week.

The Counter Terrorism and Security Act (2015) requires universities to implement ‘Prevent Duty’, a series of measures designed to ensure “due regard to the need to prevent people from being drawn into terrorism”.

Oxford will have to be fully compliant with Prevent by August this year; the Higher Education and Funding Council for England has been given responsibility to monitor how the been given responsibility to monitor how the University has met the new counter-terrorism.

The motion, proposed by the JCR President and seconded by the St Hilda’s student BME officer, mandates JCR officers “not to co-operate with the Prevent strategy” and to “boycott it as far as legally possible”.

The JCR has also committed to “lobby the College to be completely open and transparent about how it is engaging with Prevent” by providing the JCR with access to the publications used to train staff and students to spot potentially radicalised individuals, as well as to hold consultations within the student body.

Hilda’s JCR president, Mollie MacGinty, argued that “the act further criminalises Muslims and black people,” and raised concerns that the concepts of ‘extremism’ and ‘radicalism’ are “ill defined and open to abuse for political ends”.

The Oxford University Student Union passed a similar motion in October last year to “not cooperate with the [government’s] Prevent strategy”. In February 2015, over 500 academics signed an open letter condemning the Counter Terrorism and Security Act when it received Royal Assent, declaring that it remains “a threat to freedom of speech at universities.”

Aliya Yule, third year undergraduate at Wadham and the proposer of the OUSU motion last year, told Cherwell , “The new Prevent legislation (2015) poses a huge threat to all students, but in particular Muslim and BME students. “Most notably, plans to implement the legislation include monitoring prayer rooms and religious facilities, having welfare staff , including JCR and MCR Welfare Offi cers, trained to look out for signs of ‘extremism’, and stopping people speaking whose views could be deemed problematic. In a climate of increasing Islamophobia, and in a university where 60 per cent of BME students feel “The Prevent legislation poses a huge threat to all students”unwelcome or uncomfortable on account of their race or ethnicity, Prevent will have a hugely negative impact on Muslim and BME students.”

Yussef Robinson, who is the BME officer at St Hilda’s and who seconded the motion, said, “Our Counselling Service will now be trained and required to report on ‘suspicious’ students. This is inherently awful and it will further marginalise BME students at the University; we will now feel less comfortable approaching the counselling service. I would have been far less able to have an effective discussion in my counselling sessions if I thought my words might be reported back to the state.”

Oxford City Council rejects housing benefit cap

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Oxford City Council has voted unanimously in opposition to the Government’s proposed new cap on Housing Benefit, over fears that it will render supported housing schemes for vulnerable groups in Oxford financially inviable.

The proposal was announced by Chancellor George Osborne in his Autumn Statement, as part of a £12 billion programme of welfare cuts.The Government intends to extend the Local Housing Allowance, which caps housing benefit rents just below the local average market rent, to all social housing from 2018. Supported accommodation schemes for vulnerable groups, such as mental health sufferers, domestic violence victims and homeless people, will be subject to the cap. Critics insist that the cap will not leave these services with enough money to continue operating.

One of the local services set to be affected by the change is Oxford Homeless Pathways, which provides, amongst other services, emergency accommodation to homeless people at O’Hanlon House in the city centre. The charity’s Chief Executive, Lesley Dewhurst, said of the cap, “It would have a profoundly negative effect on the kind of supported accommodation that we run.” The cost of a room at O’Hanlon House is currently just over £200 per week, which is met entirely by housing benefit. The proposed new changes would reduce housing benefit to just £80 a week, representing a 60 per cent cut in funding.

A strongly worded motion was passed unanimously by the Labour run City Council on Monday, roundly condemning the plans. The motion describes the Government’s proposal as “completely incompatible with the basic tenets of a civilised society” and accuses the Government of being “committed to the wholesale destruction of all social housing”.

Councillor Alex Hollingsworth, who proposed the motion, told Cherwell, “Providing supported homes for those that need it people with mental and physical health problems, those sheltering from domestic violence or trying to free themselves from addiction – is a basic duty of a civilised society. This proposal will destroy that provision, and the government needs to be shamed into abandoning its plans.”

 Following this motion, the Leader of the Council will be writing to both of Oxford’s MPs asking them to oppose the changes “in the strongest possible terms”.

The developments come amid controversy over Oxfordshire County Council’s decision lastmonth to cut its budget for homelessness services by 65 per cent.

Mark Thompson, chief executive of Connection Floating Support, an Oxford-based charity which provides housing and mental health services, told Cherwell, “If there was a way of separating the extra and legitimate costs from the core rent such that only the core rent could be chargeable to people living in such accommodation, that would be great.” Under this suggestion, the portion of social Housing Benefit spent on accommodation itself would be brought in-line with the housing benefit received by private rental tenants, without the services currently funded via housing benefit losing out.

In response to criticism of the plans by Labour, a Government spokesman told the BBC in December, “We have increased funding to councils by 40 per cent since the last Parliament to help people who may need extra support whilst they transition to our reforms. From the outset we have been clear that vulnerable people will be supported through our welfare reforms.”

The Department for Communities and Local Government is set to report on a review of social housing in March.

Living a Double-Life

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Whenever my brother and I walk into a room, a combined four metres of awkward height and similar fashion sense, we prepare ourselves for a sort of ritualistic questioning from anyone who’s never met us before. What precedes this is the look people give the two of us: a person’s eyes will flicker over one of us, in the nonchalant sort of way one usually looks at a stranger, and then, in what they think will be a continuation of mundane room observation, they will look at the other one of us. And then, something in their brain explodes, as they question whether they’ve had one two many drinks or what was really in the double chocolate brownies. Their head will move from side to side, looking at one, then the other and back again,eyes darting between us, as they begin to comprehend: twins. Suddenly people seem to get excited, as questions rush through their heads.

Unfortunately, lot of these questions make it out of people’s mouths. On the one level, there are the classics: “Do you feel pain if the other one is hit in the face?”, “Have you ever switched places?”, “Are you telepathic?” These ones are easy to reply to (the odd, completely fabricated anecdote is always good) or the trick of both picking 638 as number between one and thousand. Then there are the questions that we answer the same everytime: no, we can’t send messages to each other by thought; yes, it means we were born on the same day; and no, we have never ever switched girlfriends (I mean come on, that’s horrible thing to do).

Last week, however, was asked an original question which shook me to my core in sort of existential way. A friend asked me,“How do you know that you were originallyHugo? Surely at the beginning, two identical looking newborns, you would have inadver- tently switched around, and unless you had badges or something. Surely your parents couldn’t tell, maybe you started life as Patrick?” This freaked me out – my brother’s name could have been mine. Maybe it was only at three, five or even 12 months down the line where I sort of settled on Hugo, finally stopping the ambiguous period of identity swapping. In my pursuit of an answer to the question, I brought it up during the holidays when my mum was looking through baby photos. “Mum”, I asked, “Which one is me?”, picking up the one of us as newborns. She didn’t hesitate; pointing to one of the two tiny little babies in a tiny little cot, she says, “That’s you”. To be frank, I didn’t believe her. My mum isn’t even 100 percent with my name today – she called me Scrabble last week, who is our cat, who is dead, so I viewed h her certainty with suspicion.

Twins have obviously interested people for a long time. Greek and Roman mythology is littered with litters of twins and triplets, from Castor and Pollux to Apollo and Artemis, and this is mirrored in the many twins in films today, from The Man in the Iron Mask to the timeless Parent Trap to Legend. There are actually really cool things about twins that most people don’t know, and no, it’s not telepathy. Most twins, for example, speak their own language during formative infant years. What sounds like babble is communication, which is why twins take longer to learn their mother tongue than non-twins. There have been several experiments done on twins separated at birth which have resulted in some surprising findings.The ‘Jim twins’ were separated at birth, but on meeting for the first time aged 39, they had both married women called Betty, named their sons James Alan, named their dogs Fido, drank the same beer and owned Chevrolet cars. Spooky, right? Mybrother and I imagine that scenario sometimes. The two of us, separated at birth, seeing each other in a train station or somewhere, doing a slow-mo run and comparing lives.

was really interested about what life would be like at uni, by myself, with my brother on a gap year, as the longest we had been apart in our lives before October 2015 was 10 days. In some ways, it’s nice to walk into room and have eyes pass idly by, but, thinking of my brother now, teaching orphans in the middle of Peruvian jungle, I’m certain that he, like me, misses the absurdity of entering a room together.