Thursday 14th May 2026
Blog Page 340

How meritocracy fuels Oxford’s burnout cycle

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Something seems to snap in our collective conscience five weeks into an Oxford term. Suddenly, we find ourselves reaching for a third or fourth cup of coffee and spending hours staring blankly into space despite the extensive reading list open on our laptop. For four weeks, essays and problem sheets seem feasible even alongside a busy social schedule but now the thought of even typing out an essay title is pushing it. 

I could be over-exaggerating, but complaints of loss of motivation and burnout do seem almost universal  as we hit fifth week. Academic burnout brings social burnout, with texts from friends left on delivered for days on end as chronic tiredness just makes you want to curl up and sleep, rather than spend another night in Bridge.

I can’t quite tell if it is comforting or problematic that this is such a unifying experience that there is a label for it – the infamous ‘Fifth Week Blues’. Despite this term being widely used by both students and tutors alike, nothing seems to change. Expectations from tutors are the same as they were at the start of  term, if not higher, even though everyone feels like we are pushing and pushing for a non-existent, unreachable goal. 

‘Why don’t we have a reading week?’ is a question guaranteed to be heard in conversations amongst students in fifth week, as their tutors tirelessly explain that the intensity of an Oxford term couldn’t be lengthened any further. Realistically, though, no one is asking for another week of relentless reading and mechanical essay-writing.

We just want a bit of a break.

The desire to simply breathe, to spend a day without a to-do list etched into your brain, is a completely natural response to our unnatural environment. This environment is one that the high-achiever functions in – that the Oxford student thrives in, even – and also has an intense hatred for. I think this is what has normalised fifth week burnout. Everyone here works hard, managing to adapt to the intensity of the environment and cyclical deadlines. For a few weeks, this meritocratic culture works as a source of motivation, giving us goal after goal to work towards, and subsequent satisfaction when you achieve it – but this can’t last forever. This seems to lead us to one question, then – would the institution be the same without this intensity?

In order to answer this, we need to think about if there is a purpose underpinning the character of the term. As I’ve mentioned, it keeps us motivated as we have no choice but to write essays over the span of a few hours and continuously work. If I’m feeling cynical (and slightly Marxist) I’d say we are being trained to be good future workers, as the pressure fuelling an Oxford term seems to construct a direct bridge to a highly efficient workplace. Perhaps we are being taught to consistently prioritise work more than anything else, naturally leading us to a lifestyle in which family, hobbies and social life will always fall secondary to the most imminent deadline. Investment banking is cited as the classic example of this. The top firms and companies demand long working hours and a work-life balance is pretty much impossible – you work hard, because you know you are in a place that expects you to work hard – for high monetary reward but arguably little emotional reward.

I wonder if this cycle of working for the sake of working is universal. Rather, I feel it entraps individuals from disadvantaged groups more than others and overlaps with the concept of imposter syndrome. All students, regardless of socio-economic background, are deemed fit by the Oxford admissions process to neatly slot into this meritocratic culture. However, the fact that you are pushed to work hard may encourage someone who lacks security about their place at Oxford to work even harder. State school students across Oxford, for example, might constantly find themselves trapped in this cycle in an attempt to introspectively prove their place here. It is worth questioning whether a meritocratic culture truly works if it exacerbates social divides, or if it leaves people constantly trying to prove themselves rather than learning for the sake of learning.

On the other hand, it is undoubtable that studying in this manner teaches you skills that fall outside the actual content of your degree. You are forced to be organised, to improve, to persist, to not simply float. Having traces of these qualities got us into Oxford in the first place but being here pushes them further as they are solidified by the term structure. From this perspective, its terms make Oxford what it is. 

But let me return to my original point – even if this is true, we still just want a bit of a break. 

Undoubtedly , this article is not going to revolutionise the Oxford term structure. I simply echo the desire held by most for a reading week. We could maintain the fast-paced nature of the term and the motivation it brings, an environment that works well for most, but recognise that this cannot be sustained. I think it would do both our mental health, and quality of work, a favour. 

Though we can recognise the benefits of a reading week, I don’t think we will ever get one. The best you can do is to respect when you may need a break, and give yourself one, this week more so than ever. Utilise college welfare events, text friends who you haven’t seen in a while, and take a little more time to relax rather than working. Feeling tired and unmotivated at this point is, ultimately, normal – and the Hilary bubble we are currently in will not last forever.

Image: Mark Butler/ CC BY-SA 2.0 via Geograph

Oxford exhibit to dispel “curse of pharaohs” myth

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Many school children know the ominous tale well. When Howard Carter, a British archaeologist, ventured to the Valley of the Kings in Egypt and rediscovered King Tutankhamun’s tomb in 1922, a curse lying dormant for millenia awoke. Some members of Carter’s team died in short order, lending credence to the haunting story known as the ‘curse of the pharaohs’. 

Long derided by archaeologists and historians as a silly work of fiction, the myth is finally set to be dispelled by a Bodleian Library exhibit coming on April 13. The exhibit will show that rumours of such a curse spread long before the discovery of Tutankhamun’s curse, and were trafficked by shady mystics sceptical of Egyptology. 

After Lord Carnarvon, one of Carter’s associates who entered the tomb with him, died in 1923 from a blood infection, the media in the West sensationalised stories of the pharaonic curse, drawn from the claims of mystics. Major newspapers, such as the New York World and the New York Times, published stories about the curse. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of Sherlock Holmes, famously endorsed the curse, suggesting that “elementals” had taken Carnarvon’s life. 

Egyptology was met with scepticism in the early twentieth century, as fears of the unknown mixed with an appetite for Gothic horror gave way to openness to the rumour. The exhibit will show that the curse was propagated by a frustrated archaeologist excluded from the original discovery team by Carter. 

A string of deaths that shortly followed Carnarvon’s fueled those rumours. A man who X-rayed the mummy fell victim to a mysterious illness. Another succumbed to arsenic poisoning, and it was believed that an affluent American died shortly after setting foot in the tomb. These deaths, the exhibit will show, were simply coincidences that did not even occur in close succession. 

Sceptical historians have pointed out that the vast majority of people who entered the tomb with Carter went on to live long, healthy lives. 

Although Carter dispelled such rumours as “tommy rot” at the time, he also indulged them in his own writings. He published a semi-fictional account of the discovery that includes a story of his canary dying from a cobra bite at the moment he entered the tomb. 

The exhibit will include fascinating primary source documents. It has hand-written correspondences between members of the discovery team and a telegram from a mystic warning of a curse. That mystic, later identified as Ella Young, an Irish poet, claimed that sandstorms in the desert and Carnarvon’s death were the works of the pharaohs. 

The exhibit has been curated by Richard Bruce Parkinson, Oxford professor of Egyptology, and Dr. Daniela Rosenow, who works at the Griffith Institute, Oxford’s Egyptology centre. It will launch on April 13, alongside a new book titled Tutankhamun: Excavating the Archive. 

Image credit: Roland Unger, CC BY-SA 3.0

New study links US Stand Your Ground laws to 700 additional homicides every year

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A new study has revealed that Stand Your Ground (SYG) laws, which allow protection for individuals who use deadly violence in self-defence, have resulted in an additional 700 homicides in the US each year since their introduction.

Under SYG laws, people have no duty to retreat before using deadly force in self-defence. This allows greater legal protection to those who use lethal force.

According to a new study published in the JAMA Network Open, the law is linked to an increase in homicide rates of 11% nationally, but up to 28% in some states. Research was led by a team from the University of Oxford, University of Pennsylvania, and collaborators at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine. The evidence collected suggests that the expansion of self-defence laws may lead to increased violence, resulting in the unnecessary loss of life.

Advocates for SYG laws claim that they protect the public by enabling retaliatory violence when faced with a significant danger. Critics, on the other hand, believe that the sanctioned use of deadly force is likely to enable greater levels of violence. Furthermore, some believe that SYG laws could encourage discrimination: implicit and explicit biases of threat perception could discriminate against certain minority groups, leading to higher rates of death amongst these populations.

These concerns have been tragically realised in recent years. The killing of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in 2021, the killing of Armaud Arbery in 2020, and the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse in 2021, have all centred around the SYG laws.

According to Senior Study author Dr David Humphreys, from Oxford’s Department of Social Policy and Intervention, “Stand Your Ground laws have been enacted in the majority of states, and more states are currently debating their introduction.

“Supporters argue that introducing these laws will improve public safety by deterring criminals, but this research finds the opposite, showing that rates of violence increase (sometimes dramatically) following the adoption of these laws.”

The study considers the impacts of SYG laws in 23 states between 2000 and 2016. Researchers found that the laws were linked to increases in homicide and firearm homicide rates of 8% to 11% across the United States. Florida was the state with the highest increase in homicide rates, seeing a 28% increase following the introduction of SYG laws. Increases in homicides were found to be higher in southern states, but no states saw a reduction in homicides or firearm homicides. The laws were found to affect all Americans, regardless of race, sex, or age.

Lead author Dr Michelle Degli Esposti, also from Oxford, says, ‘It is critical that policy and law-makers consider the scientific evidence on the risks associated with Stand Your Ground laws before passing more lenient laws on the use of lethal force in self-defence. More research is needed to understand why these laws have serious negative impacts, but research consistently shows that, in most contexts, the laws are leading to unnecessary and avoidable loss of life.’

Image credit: Karolina Grabowski

Rubbish representation in schools, syllabuses and beyond

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CW: mentions of racism and sexism

In A-level English Literature, we didn’t study any texts by women. There were plenty of texts about women – from Thomas Hardy’s excruciating late Victorian fetishization of rural female poverty in Tess of the d’Urbervilles to Henrik Ibsen’s problematic portrayal of middle-class women’s agency in A Doll’s House, by a self-proclaimed non-feminist. But, of course, actually getting women’s own perspectives on womanhood, especially deep into *the past* (before the 20th century), would be a step too far. Canonical men have clearly said it better. It was the same depressing story with regards to race. We studied one novel by a writer of colour, Khaled Hosseini’s brilliant and heartbreaking The Kite Runner. Yet the text we studied which was lauded for its ‘breakthrough’ and ‘bold’ discussions of race was Shakespeare’s Othello. Shakespeare, who was not a person of colour. Ibsen and Hardy, who were relatively privileged men.

If this is the representation we’re getting at A-level, among students who’ve chosen to keep studying literature, what hope is there for the often even more constrained curriculum at GCSE? Not much, it turns out. A recent survey commissioned by Penguin Books found that a shocking 0.7% of English Literature GCSE students in England study a book by a writer of colour, and only 7% study a book by a woman. In 2021, only 0.1% of students answered a GCSE question on the only novel by a woman of colour on the AQA exam syllabus, Meera Syal’s Anita and Me. This is despite the fact that in 2021, 34.4% of school age children identified as Black, Asian and minority ethnic, and around half of the UK population identified as women.  

Literature is a beautifully powerful combination of self-expression, identification and coming of age. Despite often being badly taught, dismissed, or, as this government is keen on, underfunded, the consequence of English Literature being taught to pretty much everyone until the age of 16 is that we all spend a lot of time with the writers on the curriculum. Although Shakespeare’s plays are wonderful, teaching them as a discussion of race is often a cop out to get teenagers thinking about the incredibly important and personal issues of race and gender, when they are raised at all, through the stale works of the same white male southern faces. Why should and why will students be enthused by Dickens and Byron, when their perspectives are often so different from their own? Must we list ‘greats’ from various genres – Renaissance, Romantic, Gothic, modern – that students simply must study before we even begin to examine where the exclusionary category of ‘great’ even came from?  

Among the many depressing tenets of this tale is where it’s being dictated from. Michael Gove, UK Education Secretary from 2010 to 2014, reportedly disliked American literature– so there went To Kill a Mockingbird from the syllabus. Although we can do better than getting 15 year olds to read a somewhat problematic look at race in the segregated Deep South by a white woman, every older friend and sibling I know who studied the novel back before the new GCSEs noted its profound effect on them, and it’s definitely worth reading and discussing, rather than axing. More disturbingly, Govean reforms (which were even influenced by Dominic Cummings, for a time) also removed all ‘seminal world literature’ from GCSEs, just so Gove’s personal vendetta against American writers wasn’t the only national literature that students were missing out on. Anyone who has also studied History at school since the Coalition can equally enjoy upped compulsory British History, an approach which will set you up well for Oxford, which is swarming with British History and not much else. I’ve heard some awful stories from my friends who study English here about the scarcity of set and encouraged texts by women and people of colour, although experiences seem to differ from tutor to tutor. 

But it’s not good enough to leave it to often privileged tutors, canon-compilers and Education Secretaries to dictate which texts we study. Time and time again, they have failed to achieve even the remotest degree of representation, a damning outcome in a subject which is so linked to identity and the self. The texts we study at school and beyond should be chosen and shaped by the diverse populations reading them.

‘A wildly enjoyable ride’ – Review: The Importance of Being Nihilists

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Two pianos fall on two men. A surreal and captivating murder mystery unfolds, ably written and directed by Anna Stephen. 

As the Victorian cast of The Importance of Being Nihilists attempts to determine motive and murderer (the means is clear from the beginning), we follow Desmond Beret (Alex Still), a melodramatic, upper-class art dealer often accompanied by his butler (and secret lover) Wilfred Winman (Jack Klein). Along the way, we watch as Desmond’s sister Daphne (Téa Chatila) pines after Laurie Frith (Lucas Ipkendanz), a mysterious and aloof psychiatrist. Rounding out the cast are Lady Amethyst, mother of the Berets and Miss Holypoly (both played by Flora Symington), Strawberry John and Reverend Dev Votion (both played by Adam Najmudin Hall), incredibly named student Eppie Gramme (Esme Rhodes), and Cyril Disorder (Murray Whittaker), a victim of the violent cacophony that opens the play. 

The cast handled their respective roles deftly. Chatila was great as Daphne, buth excellent as her own mother, Lady Amethyst in disguise. Symington did precise work in her dual roles, and I nearly left convinced that I had watched two different actors. Adam Najmudin Hall was well-cast as the reverend, and his cool, laid-back presence on stage was quietly hilarious (perfectly accessorised by his round, slightly-too-small sunglasses), though I found his style of speech hard to pin down, an impediment that shifted between rhotacism and a lisp. I assumed it was to differentiate between the two characters he was playing, but I was never quite sure. For me, the clear standout here was Alex Still, who was deliciously charismatic as Desmond Beret. Cleanly navigating the pit-fall hammy farce, Still wore his mask quite phenomenally. His comic timing and delivery were both fantastic. Most impressive, though, was his clear commitment and attention to detail in his work. I often find that an actor’s hands can often be a tool for the undoing of a performance: they either fidget nervously or seem a little too controlled, a little too acted. Still inhabited his character entirely, executing a sheen of effortlessness through micro-gesticulation and small movements. He is an actor in total command of his performance.

Underneath these great performances, though, Stephen’s script, at once timeless and clearly specific, radiated through. In form, it is clearly Victorian, but with modern sensibilities. It was woven through musings on nihilism and the artificiality of character and personality – difficult subjects by any stretch. There was a constant, dizzying complexity to her words, and characters speak frequently in metaphor and circumlocution, but Stephen is always in control, and there was a definite musicality here. She managed, either consciously or instinctively, to create a rhythm so compelling that you sometimes forgot what exactly was being said. Her skill with language really is extraordinary, and on full display throughout the play’s duration. Some credit must again go to the actors here, who tackled Stephen’s tongue-twisting wordsmithery with barely a slip-up.

Visual and textual gags throughout reinforce Stephen and her crew’s deft hand in writing and direction. One visual gag of Cyril’s full name as written on his casket — Cyril ‘Anwir’ Disorder — I found particularly hysterical. I wasn’t sure about the many repeated uses of self-reflexive humour, but I did like when the dual-role actors went “Blast, I have to go off”, when their other character had to enter the scene. Another highlight was Still leaning on the fourth wall, as Desmond Beret cheekily fiddled with a piece of tape left loosely hanging on an overhead wooden beam (this may have been improvised, but I enjoyed it nonetheless).

I also appreciated the play’s stagecraft, especially on a small and limited set. The single door at the back of the stage was well used, with characters entering and exiting from both directions, which, combined with lighting, smartly communicated changes in scenery. 

Unfortunately, the play’s energy dipped suddenly in the final act: sometimes the plot felt unnavigable and relationships felt unclear, hindered by impersonations and suddenly revealed identical twins. The play constructs a comedy of errors, building to a climax as deceptions are untangled and lies are uncovered and then it…resolves? We learn by the end that Cyril is not actually dead, but that the victim was Strawberry John, a character who looks like the Reverend, both in cast and plot. We learn that Laurie Frith also has an evil twin, whose actions were confusing. There was also a conspiracy about pianos which might have been important. I left unsure about how it all connected. 

All of that said, obviously we’re supposed to be confused, as reassured by Desmond Beret’s own confusion. The pointlessness Beret conveys serves to reiterate the Nihilistic overtones of the play. The spirit of The Importance of Being Earnest is certainly there in character, setting, and tone, but it’s been made sadder and absurdist (in addition to the original absurdity): in short, adapted to our modern era. The characters Desmond Beret, Eppie Gramme, Rev Dev Votion fulfil the fates given to them by their names. Just as in the final act of Oscar Wilde’s play, Nihilists concluded with contrivance upon contrivance. An evil twin? Strawberry John all along? Who is Strawberry John, anyway? The play isn’t faultless, but is a wildly enjoyable ride: intelligent, funny, and a bravura showcase of exciting literary talent.

But we’re supposed to be confused, as Desmond Beret’s own confusion reassures us. The pointlessness Beret conveys serves to reiterate the Nihilistic overtones of the play. The spirit of The Importance of Being Earnest is certainly there in character, setting, and tone, but it’s adapted for the modern era: which is to say, sadder and more absurd. We’re left with a simple truth: not everything has a deeper answer, and perhaps we shouldn’t be looking for one.

Image credit: Hetty Nicholls

Observing Oxford: Temple Lounge / Jamal’s

There must be something about slightly seedy Indian restaurants that lend themselves to niche Oxford traditions. Walking into Jamal’s or Temple Lounge on a Wednesday night is like walking into an alternate universe where it is completely acceptable (and expected) to be unapologetically ‘Oxford Rah’ and have no shame.

I seem to have found myself on a number of crewdates in the last year and a half despite not playing any sports, and they can all only be described as an ‘experience’, for better or for worse. The paradox of crewdates is that at the time, drinking out of shoes, hiding under tables, and watching someone eat a samosa out of their arse-crack seem not raise an eyebrow – yet imagine going for dinner at Pho, only to watch someone give their college wife a lap dance.

Another fundamental question is why are they only ever held at Indian restaurants? And why do we get served food which no one eats bar maybe the bread and hummus when someone inevitably gets too drunk? Crewdates don’t lend themselves to a deep and structured analysis of oxford social politics, however, the relationship between privileged students paying to drink and cause havoc in independent institutions trying to stay in business can only leave something to be desired and is slightly unsettling. 

Crewdates are one of the best forms of organised fun that Oxford has to offer. They are an excuse to go out and play silly little boys’ games whilst laughing at others being embarrassed by their friends. Sconces are intended to be embarrassing yet they often border on being weird flexes. The feeling of your eyes rolling back into your head when someone smugly stands and jeers for being called out for doing bits in the biology section of the library is a fundamental emotion that you should expect to experience at least once during the evening. 

The overbearing smell of chicken wings, oily curry that only the brace would touch, and an eclectic mix of different types of bread is what makes Temple Lounge feel like home. Although, crewdates are often hit or miss. Sometimes the perfect storm of a bottle of wine, excessive gluten and the promise of meeting new people doesn’t surpass expectation as the sports teams don’t gel. For example, upon attending a crewdate with the Blues rowing team I found myself sat next to someone who was A) old, and B) unbearable. Failing to ask me my name, college, sport (which I didn’t play), or even degree, he proceeded to explain how crewdates worked to me in very slow simple English as if I had just learned to talk. When I asked him how many crewdates he’d been on he said it was his first one. At the end of the same crewdate, another drunken rower rose from his seat to ask ‘Jamal’ (obviously, not his actual name) if we could stay for another twenty minutes. Unsurprisingly, he said no. 

Despite the controversy, there is something that makes you feel patriotic towards Oxford at a crewdate. Maybe there’s something in the curry, or maybe it’s the solidarity of knowing that at the end of the day everyone has done deeply embarrassing things, just some more than others. There is also comfort in the fact that no one is likely to remember in the morning, and everyone is far too busy thinking about their own reputation to care about anyone else. 

Perhaps I can only speak for myself, but in my entire time as a student here I have never remembered leaving either Jamal’s or Temple Lounge. I just seem to apparate to Park End with no memory of the queue and often no memory of my time there. There is nothing quite like the feeling of hangxiety on a Thursday morning, running to a tutorial bleary eyed and thinking about the consequences of your behaviour from the night before or dying from embarrassment. Despite their contention, crewdates are a fundamental part of the Oxford experience whether you like them or not. They seem to be going nowhere so you might as well lean into the chaos of alcohol fuelled organised fun for a couple of hours on a Wednesday night. 

Douze points: Looking ahead to Turin 2022

Now that we’re in March, the 2022 contest is only a couple of months away, and we’re really starting to get an idea of what this year’s edition is going to look like. So – who’s sitting in a strong position going into Turin? 

Currently, the defining story of the 2022 contest is the rightful exclusion of the Russian broadcaster, meaning there will be no Russian entry this year. This is just the latest example of how wider political developments so often find themselves overlapping with the contest. From a purely Eurovision point of view, this exclusion of Russia is likely to have a significant impact on the contest: the Russian act has placed inside the top 10 seven times in the last ten years. Whilst there could only be speculation as to who the Russian act would’ve been, it’s likely they would have been a strong contender and one who would have continued this trend.

It’s now time to look at the position some of the other strongest countries at Eurovision are finding themselves in. For the sake of clarity, the positions in the odds of these countries are what were being reported by Eurovision World in the afternoon of the 28th February.

The current two favourites to win are Italy and Ukraine – the two countries, incidentally, who were the top two choices of the televote last year. Ukraine’s Kalush Orchestra combines traditional folklore and hip-hop in their song ‘Stefania’, and whilst I am not sure how the typically conservative juries will vote, I can already see this high-energy performance being one of the public’s favourites. Italy, meanwhile, are taking a different direction than last year. They’re sending a beautiful ballad (‘Brividi’) performed by Mahmood and Blanco. Eurovision fans will recognise Mahmood, as he placed 2nd in the 2019 contest. Could he go one better this year and take home the trophy? I wouldn’t be surprised, nor disappointed, in a second consecutive Italian win. The song is stunning and the chemistry between the two singers is really what helps to make it. With the right staging, the contest could be staying in Italy for yet another year.

Whilst we currently do not have a confirmed Swedish act, the famous Melodifestivalen is coming to an end, and there is seeming confidence in the Swedish selection as they sit in third place to win. Cornelia Jakobs, with her song ‘Hold Me Closer’, is looking like the frontrunner and this would be the correct choice for Sweden to make. Over recent years there has been some criticism from fans that Sweden has a habit of sending well-produced and polished songs, but ones lacking in authenticity. Jakobs doesn’t fall into this category, as there is something distinctly raw and real about her performance, and she could give Sweden its best chance at securing a record-equally seventh victory.

There are a couple of very strong ballads from both Poland and Australia that are looking like contenders for the top spot. Representing Poland with the song ‘River’ is Krystian Ochman, whilst Australia is sending Sheldon Riley with ‘Not the Same’. Whilst both are very strong songs with incredible supporters, for me, the Australian act is the stronger one. It has better staging (the national final staging of ‘River’ really needs to be changed before Turin, it doesn’t quite convey the powerful emotions of the song). Furthermore, I think Riley’s performance could give us one of those rare ‘moments’ at Eurovision, just like Tamara Todevska’s jury-winning performance of ‘Proud’ in 2019.

It should come as no surprise following Måneskin’s victory and international success, there are currently two rock acts in the line up, and I would expect these numbers to grow. Finland is once again sending a rock band in the form of The Rasmus, which seems fitting considering Finland seems to achieve its best results recently when sending a band. Whilst ‘Jezebel’ isn’t the strongest song out there, and doesn’t pack the same punch that Blind Channel’s ‘Dark Side’ had, the performance at Uuden Musiikin Kilpailu was polished and effective, and I could see Finland securing yet another solid result from sending a band.

The case of Bulgaria is more interesting. No country has fluctuated in the odds as much as they have, from the top five, all the way to the bottom, before rising to the top again. Currently, Intelligent Music Project’s ‘Intention’ is sitting somewhere in the middle, and whilst I am struggling to make any sort of prediction as to where this could end up, it isn’t looking like Bulgaria will be getting a particularly impressive result – if they even make it to the final.

And what better way to conclude than to look at some of the most fun songs in this year’s line-up so far – the ones that might not be loved by the jury, but could get the viewers at home dancing as they pick up their phone to vote. Lovers of Fuego will undoubtedly enjoy the Spanish entry, ‘SloMo’, which is looking like it might lift Spain out of the bottom five after a disappointing run over recent years. Norway and Latvia are looking like two of the most memorable performances this year, and I recommend listening to their entries ‘Give That Wolf a Banana’ and ‘Eat Your Salad’ if you’re in need of something to give you a smile. The latter song has possibly one of the most interesting opening lines I’ve ever encountered in a Eurovision song.

Obviously, with new songs still to come and plenty of pre-parties and revamps still on the cards, anything could still happen in Turin in May. After all, that’s the excitement of Eurovision.

Image Credit: EBU / Thomas Hanses

Setting the bar high: On running the college bar

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Nestled behind the dreaming spires, cobbled streets and well-kept quads are some of the most beloved, and most frequented, spots in Oxford – college bars. 

Serving as a venue for members to socialise and drink at Spoons rivalling prices, almost all colleges have a cherished bar, but few remain student run. Solely in the name of a journalistic endeavour, I took it upon myself to visit two such bars, spend another evening surrounded by alcohol under the pretence of it being my Cherwell duty, and find out exactly what it means to run a student bar. 

Regent’s Bar, or what was more recently named ‘Manny’s Shell’, is one of the cheapest bars in Oxford, sitting snug behind the College’s JCR. Bar Manager Amelia Sellors runs a tight ship, and tells me that it’s her job to keep the bar running ‘no matter what it takes’. 

‘We pride ourselves on having the cheapest drinks in Oxford. £1 a shot, mixer is free, £1.90 a pint. The prices are unbeatable – it’s because each year we aren’t trying to make a profit. It’s just a pub for the students to enjoy however they wish.’

The bar’s motto is ‘cheap and cheerful’ but there’s more to it than low prices and chipper bartenders. From ordering stock and dealing with suppliers, to the maintenance, cleaning and training of the staff of twelve, running the college bar is no mean feat. ‘It’s for the students by the students’, Amelia says, ‘And to make sure the bar stays fun, you have to be pretty rigorous about the behind the scenes stuff’. 

I wonder what kind of bar manager she is. Feared, she says, and given that one of her many nicknames in the bar is ‘Mussomimi’, I’m inclined to agree: ‘It would also be a bit egotistical to say I’m beloved. I’d say as long as the bar is beloved then I’m happy.’ 

Even on a quiet Monday evening, Regent’s Bar is cosy and lively. The small, wood-panelled room is decorated with old photos of the college, a collage of many flattering photos of its patrons and an array of other random objects. It’s proximity to the JCR means that if you’re not vibing with the staff’s eclectic mix of tunes in the bar, you can have a game of ping-pong, table football or darts. I’m also informed that the Wii is the greatest thing to come to Regents since Manny the tortoise. 

Allowing the powers of Regent’s most popular drink, ‘The Dizzi’, to kick in, I head over to Balliol to see if the incumbent Lady Lindsay, Hannah O’Connor, is running the bar into the ground or just running it beneath the ground. ‘The Lindsay’ has long been a famously good watering hole, and after being shut for over two years due to water damage and refurbishment, it is back and better than ever. 

A world away from the intimacy of Regent’s, Balliol’s bar is a spacious underground haunt. Serving up a spectacular line up of drinks from the legendary ‘Balliol Blues’ to Lady Lindsay’s experimental peach margaritas, the bar has a sophisticated air but is equally welcoming and spirited. 

While the cocktails are shaken, I ask around among the many unbiased customers what makes Balliol bar so special. ‘I just love it here’ a non-Balliol reveller tells me, ‘it’s the vibe, I don’t ever want to leave when I come in’. The best thing about Balliol bar? After the drinks, it’s Lady Lindsay herself, I’m told. 

‘I’ve managed to make the bar profitable without losing any of its essence’, Hannah says. ‘There are no frills, it’s just a great space and should be a place that students want to go to. I do put a lot of work in but it gives me such joy when I see it bustling with people all drinking and having a good time’. 

I listen to the pair complain about the weight of their duties, dealing with irritable suppliers and the recklessness of certain bar users all evening. So why do it? Why have a student run bar if it’s just another headache? Spending the evening in the bars, I get the sense that both bar bosses manage to blend the fun and chaos of the job with the gravity of the responsibility.

‘You don’t rant about something you don’t care about’, Amelia tells me, ‘It really doesn’t make sense to have a college bar run by students, it’s not rational but there’s something irreplaceable about it. Because we’re student run, we’ve got something that no other bar has – a lot of love and pride for it and that’s what makes it so special.’

The fairest of them all? Hollywood’s problem with visually represented villainy

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The latest instalment of Hollywood’s never-ending quest to retell and resell every classic film has been a contentious one. Yet another reimagining of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves is in production, with breakout star Rachel Zegler in the leading role. In a desperate attempt to diversify its cinematic output, Disney has – instead of green-lighting more exciting material written by POC writers – decided to invest in a live-action adaptation of the 1937 animation, starring a Latina actress. Actor Peter Dinklage has pointed out the insensitivity of retelling a story that caricatures and ridicules people with dwarfism. Dinklage, who himself has achondroplasia, said of the film, ‘You’re progressive in one way but you’re still making that fucking backward story of seven dwarves living in the cave. What the fuck are you doing, man?’, explaining that had a ‘cool, progressive spin’ been put on the original tale he would have been ‘all in’.

Disney’s vague response (saying that they are ‘taking a different approach with these seven characters’ and are ‘consulting with members of the dwarfism community’) does not distance themselves, and the rest of the film industry, from its dark history of representation of people with physical differences. People who look different to the majority have almost always been portrayed in a negative light throughout the history of literature – think Richard III, Dracula, and Captain Hook – but in no medium does this become as glaringly insulting as film. Physical difference is too often exploited either to present characters as outsiders, like with the seven dwarves, or villains. James Bond films have recently come under fire for their consistent depictions of antagonists with burns or scars, but the sheer amount of films that use this visual trope is shocking. From Scar in The Lion King to Darth Vader in Star Wars, filmmakers have constantly been exploiting conditions that manifest themselves physically as a visual indicator of a character’s inherent wickedness.

This narrative infiltrates daily life. Cast your mind back to the 2020 American presidential election, when, during a press conference, Donald Trump’s legal aid and former mayor of New York Rudy Giuliani suffered a severe hair malfunction. A single streak of brown hair dye rolled down the side of his face, and – with his villainy seemingly branded onto him in a perfect twist of fate – Twitter went up in flames. Emma Beddington wrote an article for the Guardian at the time, illustrating how this phenomenon, as satisfying as it may have been for those politically-opposed to Giuliani, was a result of ‘years of cultural conditioning’ that have conflated ‘ugliness and moral failing’. Beddington, who has alopecia, continued to talk about the effect of this cultural perception of villainy on her own life, as she explained her children’s confusion when she read them Roald Dahl’s ‘The Witches’. ‘They adored the story and Quentin Blake’s enchanting illustrations,’ she said, ‘but the diagram and explanation of an unmasked witch confused them – because it looked like me’.

The physical demonisation of Giuliani struck an equally conflicting chord in me. As much as I detested him as a person, the image of a dark droplet trickling down his face reminded me of my own experience, like Beddington, with alopecia. I would have to use tar-like spray-on hair dye intended for old men like Giuliani in order to cover up my own large, patchy bald spots every day before school. In fact, on a hot summer’s day it is likely that I would have recreated this ridiculed image of Giuliani. Reading Beddington’s article, I remembered the disgust I’d feel towards myself when, as my hair loss worsened, I’d unclip my hairpieces at night and transform, like Roald Dahl’s Grand High Witch, into my exposed, visibly antagonistic self.

We need to reject this lazy idea that physical conditions, or, more broadly, visible difference, equate to villainy or societal rejection. Hollywood, at very least, is trying to deliver this message and produce films that depict people with conditions affecting their physical image in a positive light – but, my god, is it failing. Steven Chbosky’s 2017 adaptation of R.J. Palacio’s novel Wonder, which follows the life of a young boy named Augustus with Treacher Collins syndrome, was met with significant criticism due to the director’s decision to cast a child actor without this syndrome in the starring role, and make extensive use of prosthetics to ‘transform’ him into Augustus. Despite its good intentions and sensitive storytelling, Wonder achieved something not too far from what Disney was trying to achieve in its 1937 depiction of the ‘seven dwarves’: singling out those who do not fit in to Hollywood’s complex cookie cutter of what is physically ‘desirable’ and ‘normal’ and thus furthering society’s uninformed perception of physical difference.

Filmmakers should, at very least, have the sensitivity to see that using prosthetics to depict a condition is degrading, and exposes a shallow attempt to explore the life of someone susceptible to cinema’s visually antagonising and outcasting agenda. But more broadly, they must push themselves to construct characters that are psychologically complex enough to not be dependent upon a physical indicator of their identity. Film is, of course, an inherently visual form – aesthetics and style are naturally a key aspect of a character’s construction. But the characters that we see in film deserve a complexity of character that goes beyond skin-deep appearance.

Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird (2017) succeeds in this task, as its charismatic protagonist is depicted with acne. This doesn’t form any kind of basis for her identity, but it provides a refreshing change from the unrealistically acne-free teenagers that dominate coming-of-age films and brings a visibility that validates the experience of young people suffering from acne. Pixar’s recent animated film Luca (2021) also succeeds in sensitively presenting a character born with one arm – Guilia’s father, Massimo – without using this to construct his identity. The film illustrates on many levels the importance of a character’s internal identity over their external appearance. Disney’s depiction of Massimo’s visible difference subverts stereotypes: he is big, strong and as a result is initially intimidating to Luca and Alberto, thus avoiding the trope that limb difference equates to weakness. As the film progresses, however, Massimo’s soft and caring persona is revealed and combats the assumptions made from his macho physical appearance. He encapsulates the film’s message, a message that Hollywood needs to hear loud and clear: personality prevails over physicality.

These positive depictions of three-dimensional characters with physical difference are far too rare. It goes without saying that our society has progressed to the point where we, on the whole, do not single out those who look different from the rest with the sole purpose of excluding them. We know that we ought to validate and cherish visible difference. Why is cinema struggling so much to catch on? Is it because Hollywood is constantly retreating to and capitalising on old stories without considering the outdated ideas they depict? Perhaps. This endless cycle of cinematic deja-vu certainly makes it clear that cinema is being restricted by the retelling of stories, such as Snow White, that are incompatible with our modern society’s values. But film as a genre is also haunted by this archaic idea that a character’s internal identity must be visually, often stereotypically, represented. Hollywood is the world’s magic mirror, and it should begin reflecting the real range of human experiences, instead of obsessing over who is the fairest of them all.

Artwork: Wang Sum Luk

From Emperors to Crystal Skulls: The highs and lows of the sequel

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In 2013 there came a film so monumentally great that it altered the very future of cinema itself. At its premiere, Martin Scorsese wept, wondering why he wasted his life directing drivel like Taxi Driver, while The Academy collectively decided to pack up shop, knowing full well nothing else could ever feasibly win best picture. The film would go on to gross 17.4 trillion dollars, as audiences across the globe sold all their earthly possessions to fund their insatiable appetite for tickets. I am, of course, talking about Grown Ups 2. Oh, hang on, my notes are mixed up. Sorry, I’ll start again. Grown Ups 2 is terrible. 

A lazy, plotless cash-grab, it’s no wonder that sequels have a, let’s say, less than stellar reputation when films like Grown Ups 2 exist. You’ve heard it a million times, the original is always best, and the second is usually bad. And yet, when we wander down those gilded halls of movie excellence, it becomes clear that some of the best films ever made are sequels. The Godfather Part 2. The Empire Strikes Back. The Dark Knight. Every Toy Story film after 1. Yes, even 4. No, I do not accept criticism of this opinion. The sequel hall of fame is filled with countless examples of films that, even the most die-hard of purists must concede, surpass the original. 

When a sequel works well, the stories we get can be far better than what is often possible in a single film. Sadly, getting them right can be quite tricky for various reasons. Often, there is a need to ‘one-up’ the original, and put things on a grander scale. This isn’t a bad idea in concept because audiences don’t want to see the same film twice, but sometimes it can go too far. Short history lesson: in season 5, episode 91, of the hit sitcom Happy Days, the main character Fonzie jumps over the top of a shark while water skiing. Since then, the term ‘jumping the shark’ has been used to describe that point in a series or franchise where things get too silly, even within the confines of the fictions’ fantasy logic, in an attempt to breathe new life, and new viewers, into the property. For a brilliant example, take the Indiana Jones films; they have never been particularly realistic, featuring supernatural powers and a definition of archaeology sure to make real-world researchers cringe, but the action has always been somewhat grounded and at least partly believable. Gun fights, fist fights, motorbike chases and whatnot. Wouldn’t it be ridiculous if another film in the series then had Harrison Ford survive a nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge? It would, wouldn’t it. Anyway, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull comes out in 2008, and that exact thing happens. Honestly, the flesh-melting ghost angels inside the Ark of the Covenant are actually more believable. It’s hard to get interested after this point, because we now know that our hero is indestructible, and there is no sense of danger. In trying to make things more exciting, a sequel can easily make things less so. 

Beyond this though, there is, in my opinion, one golden rule that all sequels should follow. To discuss it, I get to talk about a movie that I absolutely despise – Terminator: Dark Fate, a direct sequel to the incredible Terminator 2. A sequel, in all forms of media, should absolutely never make what came before it meaningless. In T2, there are two goals: ensure the survival of John Connor, who will go on to lead humanity to victory in the future war with the machines, and prevent the machine uprising from ever happening. Both of these goals are achieved by the climax, which is brilliant for the viewer as it leaves a sense that something important has happened. This is why I, as an audience member, find it genuinely offensive when the first five-minutes of the slow-motion car crash that is Dark Fate involves John Connor being immediately killed, and then a machine uprising happens anyway with little-to-no explanation. T2, in the universe of the Terminator franchise, may as well have never happened; it has no relevance, no impact, and none of its events mattered. This, to me, is unforgivable, and highlights the biggest sin a sequel can commit. Do not, ever, erase the past. Build on it instead.

And this is what the greatest sequels do so well. They not only respect the events of the last film, but show us why they mattered. Take the surprisingly fantastic Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy in the 2010s. The first film ends with an ominous mid-credit scene showing the spread of deadly virus across the world. The sequel, instead of pretending that this wasn’t important, then shows the dramatic effect this has had on the world; humans have almost gone extinct, and a small settlement of survivors are locked in a tense stand-off with the apes. The worlds we see in the first and second instalment are nearly unrecognizable, but we completely understand how things have gotten from A to B. This makes for truly engaging storytelling, and truly lets you know that everything has meaning – something a good story really should have.  

Naturally, a sequel also let’s us spend more time in our favourite movie-worlds, and this allows for these worlds to take on so much more nuance, depth and interest. Star Wars: A New Hope introduced cinema to Darth Vader, who would go on to become arguably its most iconic villain. So then, in the sequel Empire Strikes Back, it becomes all the more engaging when we see Vader kneeling before the hooded façade of Emperor Palpatine. Audiences are hit with the revelation that cinemas’ most enduring villain is only second in command, and there is someone more powerful and more frightening than him? This is fantastic world building, and it’s all the more effective given the time audiences have already spent with Vader up until this point. Introduce the emperor in A New Hope, and this dynamic is the status quo out the gate. It just isn’t the same. 

Of course, not every film needs a sequel, and that is certainly not what I’m arguing here. I doubt Citizen Kane 2 would have gone down as well as the first. But sequels get a bad rap, that while not entirely unearned, I think causes people to be too harsh on the very idea of them. What is often forgotten, especially among the Academy and the more pretentious members of the film community, is that some of the best stories ever told are told in sequels. That’s why it will be such a shame when Scorsese outlaws them, and the only films he allows to be made are three-hour long crime flicks starring Robert De Niro. I’ll be here, defending the sequel until I’m blue in the face, but who knows if that will be enough. The only thing I’m certain about is that my follow-up article, reviewing which fridges are best at shielding you from nuclear detonations, will be much better than this one.

Image Credit: Star Wars/Facebook